Christine and Nyota finally talk.

It's sad, so sad
Why can't we talk it over?
Oh, it seems to me
That sorry seems to be the hardest word

Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word by Elton John

The Hardest Words

Uhura finally went for that physical that Charlene nagged her about, but she felt foolish because, for the past few days, she had been feeling fine. More than fine. She was floating on cloud nine. She hadn't had any emotional outbursts and hadn't had any additional physical symptoms. She'd been staying in her quarters cooking, cleaning, and studying a bit if High Vulcan. She'd also been getting plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables thanks to Sulu's garden and plenty of sleep, thanks to Spock.

McCoy found nothing out of order. All tests came back normal.

"Doctor, I'm fine. I feel fine and haven't had any incidents of any kind since Spock was exonerated. I was under a lot of stress back then and now I'm not. So, can I go back to work?" Uhura asked. She was seated on an exam table in the sickbay, looking as bubbly and perky as ever.

McCoy scratched his head. He couldn't find a reason to keep her on medical leave. They were heading to Vulcan, where she would undergo more thorough exams by their telepathic healers. Until then, there was little else he could do besides monitor the situation.

"Okay, Lieutenant. I cannot find a reason to deny the request. I'll grant your wish. Get back to work. The honeymoon's over."

Uhura frowned about that but she said, "Well, I can't complain. The honeymoon was nice while it lasted, but a girl can only lie flat on her back for so long before it gets boring."

McCoy covered his ears, "Too much information, Missy" he said, shaking his head.

Uhura laughed and nudged him with her elbow. "I didn't mean it like THAT. I just meant I've been doing little more than resting for the past few weeks. I've been eating and sleeping and a little of THAT too," she gave McCoy a cheeky grin, "but I'm ready to be useful again."

"Lieutenant, you've never been not useful. You're an excellent communication officer, but you're an even better command officer. You've been on tough missions and kept your head. Let's not forget all the times you've had to take the command chair. You rescued all of us guys when we got captured by those Lorelei women. Most importantly, when Spock needed someone to save his life and you stepped up. If nobody else ever tells you this, I will. You're a hero, Lieutenant Uhura."

"Thank you, Doctor," Uhura leaned over and gave McCoy a kiss on the cheek.

"Oh, stop it." McCoy smiled "You deserve all the happiness you can get. Now get out of here. This place is for sick people." he shooed her away.

Uhura hopped down from the exam bed and left the sickbay feeling on top of the world. And then she ran into Christine coming from the opposite direction. Damn it, she was having such a nice day too. But she wasn't about to let anyone break her stride. She pasted a smile on her face and kept on walking forward, intending to pass Chris without a word.

But Christine stood in her way. "Nyota, can I have a word with you, privately?"

"We have nothing to discuss, now if you will excuse me," Uhura tried to sidestep, but Christine blocked her path again.

"Please Ny? I need to apologize to you and I don't want to do it here in the hall," she pleaded.

Uhura didn't really want to hear anything this heifer had to say, but if it meant she could put this mess with Christine behind her once and for all then it would be worth the few minutes of torture she granted Chris for that 'apology'.

"Okay, but only for a few minutes. I've got things to do." She had nothing to do until McCoy processed her request and placed her back on the duty roster, but Christine didn't need to know that. They went to Christine's office and at first, Uhura didn't want to sit down but Christine sat at her desk to Uhura relented and followed suit.

"Okay, say what you have to say." Uhura sat stiffly with her arms crossed over her chest.

"Ny, I don't know what to say, really. I know you're angry with me and for good reasons. I've been acting like a fool and if you don't want to forgive me, then I understand. But I want to apologize to you for the way I've behaved recently."

"There is no excuse for the things I've done. I thought I was in love with Spock and I blamed you for him not loving me in return. You were just a convenient scapegoat for the hurt and anger I felt towards Spock, and it wasn't fair to you. I am sorry. I'm sorry for the hurtful things I have said to you and the deceitful things I've done."

Uhura looked at Christine but said nothing, so Christine continued.

"I tried to get you in trouble with Starfleet by going over Doctor McCoy and the captain's head, and that put your career in jeopardy. I am so sorry I did that and I'm glad nothing came of it. Worst of all, I tried to seduce Spock when I knew he was your husband. Ny I'm so sorry." Now Christine was crying while she confessed that last bit.

"You've been nothing but a good friend to me, and I do something disgusting like that. Just so you know, Spock shut me down fast. He wanted nothing to do with me. He's in love with you and I just have to accept that." Christine concluded her tearful apology.

Uhura sat in Christine's office and listened to the apology, but she didn't know what to say. Christie was sorry. Christine was crying. Christine felt awful. Good for Christine, but why was the burden put onto Uhura to accept her apology and grant forgiveness as if nothing happened. As if Uhura wasn't hurting too, as if she too didn't feel awful?

Uhura gathered her thoughts and said, "Christine, thank you for the apology. Spock already told me what happened between the two of you in his lab. I'm sure it wasn't easy to admit everything you've done and I appreciate your emotions, but I can't do this right now. I'm not ready to forgive and forget. You hurt me and your actions almost cost Spock his career and freedom."

"I didn't mean to," Christine cried.

"Yeah, I know you didn't. But that resulted from your behavior. If Spock hadn't turned you down that night, would you have slept with him? Would you have slept with my husband behind my back?" Uhura demanded to know.

Christine said nothing but hung her head, which was all the answer Uhura needed. She stood up to leave.

"I'm sorry Ny," Christine pleaded again, tears streaming down her cheeks.

Neither the tears nor the apology impressed Uhura. She stood to leave. "No, don't be sorry, Chris. Be better."

Uhura was so angry when she left Christine's office she wanted to punch a hole through the ship's hull. But she couldn't do that. She had to remain calm or else they wouldn't let her back on duty.

Calm down, girl, calm down, was her mantra as she marched back to her quarters. The nerve of that bitch! Apologize my ass! Sorry she got caught! She thought as she stormed through the ship's corridors. She must have looked like hell on wheels because people got out of her way as she walked by.

When she got back to her quarters, she paced back and forth angrily for a few minutes. She wanted to smash something, but that would be illogical. She would only have to clean up her own mess after she had the place looking spotless. That thought finally changed her mood. This was her home. She was safe here. She gradually slowed her pacing and felt the anger draining away.

She climbed up onto her bed, buried her face in the pillow, and cried. These feelings weren't normal. This wasn't her. She was not an angry, violent person. These emotions were new and frightening. "What the hell is wrong with me?"