Spock and Uhura discuss their bond and their baby.

I feel such a connection

Even when you're far away, mmm

Ooo baby, if there is anything that you fear (anything)

Call 489-4608 and I'll be here

~Diary by Alicia Keys~

Bound Together?

Uhura had a lot of time on her hands since she was on leave, and she used that time to think about her life. When she agreed to bond with Spock, she could never have imagined the experiences she would have. In the past few months she and Spock had gone from friends, to bondmates, to lovers, and now future parents, all at warp ten speed.

She really should be freaking out about it but she wasn't. Something about this all just felt right. She and Spock were still learning things about one another, but at the same time, she felt like she'd known him forever. From the moment she met Spock he had infatuated her. So much so she that she had wheedled her way into his life, first with demands for music and language lessons and then forming a friendship and flirting with him relentlessly. And after they were bonded, she led him around on a merry chase. And now they were adding another life into the mix, but it was exciting. Their mission was to seek out new life, but she and Spock had created it. Whenever she thought about Spock and her baby, she got butterflies in the pit of her stomach.

Every day she felt less and less like Lieutenant Nyota Uhura and more like Mrs. Spock. The very idea of losing her identity would have angered her just a few weeks ago, but now she was wearing Spock's ring and carrying his baby. She was Spock's wife, and she'd be lying if she said she didn't like it.

When Spock returned home that evening, they shared a simple dinner that Uhura had prepared and talked about their day. Spock had supervised the repairs on the ship and again acted as translator for some of the engineers sent to the ship from the Syrran to assist them.

"Why can't we program the universal translators with their dialect?" Uhura asked him.

"It takes time for the translator to decipher enough words and interpret them accurately. The Vulcans who come aboard are mostly speaking in scientific terms which is generally universal but it is difficult to gather enough context to translate them precisely which you will agree is crucial for warp engine repair."

"I suppose, but why do they need you to translate? Don't any of them know Federation Standard or regular old High Vulcan?"

"I am certain they do, but not with enough proficiency to speak to outsiders about delicate repairs. I believe they are more comfortable relaying the details to me in our native language. Vulcans can be difficult."

"You're telling me this?" She grinned.

"in addition, our clan dialect is sufficiently different from High Vulcan to be classified as a separate language. Clans often use complicated syntax and grammatical structure to mislead the enemy." Spock informed her. "It's completely unlike anything in the Federation database."

"Enemy? Who is the enemy? Earth? Starfleet? The Federation?"

"No. I say enemy because that is how the tradition of clan dialects started. During the time of endless tribal conflicts, secret code languages were used among kin and clan. It was used to cement allegiances and send secret messages between allies. Though our tribal wars are long over, the tradition holds. If a rival clan were to break the code of your clan dialect it could spell disaster in battle. Our dialects are a closely guarded secret to this day."

"So the High Vulcan you are teaching me is useless?"

"No. High Vulcan is the official language of the Vulcan council. It is the language everyone learns in school, what we use to do business outside of the clan. You must learn it, Aduna. But among a clan, you would learn their dialect as your mother tongue."

"Sounds complicated," she said as she sipped her water.

"It is not difficult if you are born into it. You are already a gifted linguist. You speak Earth Standard as well as Swahili and High Vulcan. Our clan dialect will be easy to master, but you should be among native speakers to learn the nuisance. Even I, being away from home for so long, will have to learn the changes that have occurred over the years. Every generation makes changes and additions, and that keeps the dialect alive."

"It sounds like slang back on Earth. We kids would make up vocabulary and phrases so our parents wouldn't know what we were talking about. My parents used slang their parents couldn't decipher. Every generation makes up a language that seems nonsensical to the one before."

Spock nodded. "Our worlds are very much alike despite our superficial differences."

"You mean like green blood and pointed ears vs red blood and round ears?"

"Yes, and psi abilities. Humans are almost universally psi null with some few exceptions," Spock said.

"Like Doctor Miranda Jones?" Uhura asked.

"Indeed, she is a remarkable talent. And also Gary Mitchell." Spock said thoughtfully.

Spock rarely talked about those days when he served under Captain Pike before Captain Kirk took over. She understood that Spock was very different from the man he was today. Sulu said Spock smiled and laughed back then, but after the incident with Gary Mitchell, all that changed. "I wasn't here when that incident with Mitchell happened, but I get the feeling you were very... shall I say, disturbed by his passing? The prevailing rumor is that you refused the first officer's role and quarters because you didn't want to take his place. He was Jim's best friend and first officer and now you are."

"There is no truth or logic to that rumor. I preferred my role as the science officer, but as you stated, I am currently the first officer as well, so obviously I took the job. As for the quarters, I simply did not need larger accommodations, and it seemed a waste of time and energy to move."

"And yet here you are in the first officer's suit with me. Life is strange like that, isn't it?"

"I will say life has its mysteries," he answered thoughtfully.

Uhura reached across the table and held out her hand, which Spock took immediately. "Spock, did you ever think we would end up like this? Bonded and married? Holding hands at the dinner table together?"

"No, I didn't. You said I always get what I want. But there was a time when all I wanted was this and I never thought I could have it. I never thought I could have you. You were a dream, and I was always awake."

"I dreamed about you all the time, too, but you already know that. I fantasized about us being together, but I always knew it was impossible. And I didn't want to end up like Christine, pining for a man I could never have. So I told myself it was pointless." Uhura slid her fingers between Spock's, linking them in a tight mesh. She hoped he could feel the emotions behind the words she was speaking.

"When you came to me that night after T'Pring divorced you, it made me so happy, when just hours before I had been so miserable. You broke my heart when you called her your wife on the bridge and you didn't even know it. At the time, I believed if you had known you wouldn't even care. So when you showed up for your little booty call later that night, I thought having a small bit of your friendship was better than nothing at all."

"I did not show up for any 'booty call'," Spock sounded indignant.

"So why did you show up?"

He didn't have a logical answer for it. He had just needed to be near her at the time, and he told her so.

"But if I had offered to let you spend the night in my bed, would you have turned me down?" she asked.

He didn't answer, which was all she needed to know. He would have been on her like a tick on a dog. "It's alright. It wasn't the right time for us then. You were on the rebound. You would have used me up and kicked me aside. It's better this way."

"If I had stayed with you that night, I would have bonded with you whether or not you were ready to. I would not have been able to control myself so fresh from a failed Pon Farr. And afterward, I would have done something even more irrational and released you. So, as you say, it is better this way," he agreed.

"You were going to let me go and risked death?" she asked in surprise.

"Foolishly I would have. Now I never will," he said vehemently.

Uhura could tell he meant it. He would never let her go and the thought made something deep inside of her relax. "That should scare me, but it doesn't. I used to think Amanda was crazy to follow Sarek around, jumping to obey his every command. I vowed I would never be that way, but lately..." Uhura shook her head, trying to gather her thoughts.

"Spock, when you came to get me from Charlene's place and you commanded me to attend you, I couldn't get to you fast enough. Sometimes when you tell me to do something I want to do it and I don't even know why."

Spock didn't have an answer for her. He didn't know why he had commanded her to attend him. At the time, he had felt ill at ease while he searched for her after finding their cabin empty. He Would not be satisfied until she was safely at his side under his protection. Before he knew what he was doing, he had said the traditional words.

"When I was a little girl, my brothers gave me a kitten. It was so soft and cute and all I wanted to do was cuddle with it from the moment I saw it. I named her Furball," Uhura remembered smiling.

"But after a while, I got bored just holding it all day. I wanted to go outside and play with my friends, but this little kitten was so needy. She needed to be with me all day. It followed me everywhere I went around our house. It dogged my heels and I nearly tripped over it several times. And it cried all night long when my mother wouldn't let it sleep in the bed with me. Oh, how I hated the sound of that kitten crying, but there was nothing I could do. My mother was adamant I would crush her. The next morning she took it back to the neighbor where they got her." She finished the story sadly.

"Spock, when you were a boy did you have anything like that? A pet that followed you around, needing your constant attention?"

"I had a pet Sehlat. His name was I'Chaya. First, he belonged to my father, and then my brother, and then finally, he was my companion. He was very old and fat by the time we met. I guess you could say he was my nanny," Spock recalled I'Chaya fondly.

"I used to rest on top of his soft fur for naps. He followed me whenever I ran off to the forge to keep me safe. He was the best companion I ever had." Memories of I'Chaya were bittersweet after Spock had encountered him again during his trip through the Guardian of Forever. He had lost I'Chaya twice, having retained the memories of both timelines.

His expression must have disturbed his wife because she rose from her seat to stand behind him wrapping her arms around his neck. "Well, you have me now," Uhura whispered. "Lately, Spock I've felt like I'm that kitten or your I'Chaya. I want to be near you ALL the time. When we're together, I just want to touch you and make sure you're safe and happy. When we're apart, I want to find you and be with you again," she sighed. "What's wrong with me? I'm not a kitten or a Sehlat. Why am I being drawn to you this way?"

"It is quite fascinating," Spock said in reply to her confession.

"Don't give me that 'fascinating' routine. I'm not one of your science experiments, Mister. I'm your wife. The last thing I ever wanted was to feel this helpless and needy in a relationship."

"I find it fascinating because I have experienced the same phenomenon," Spock continued. "I find it difficult to concentrate on my duties when we're apart for any length of time. When I was on the Syrran with the captain, I felt that something was amiss with you and I needed to return to the ship as soon as possible. When I arrived I was told that you'd had an 'incident' and I was compelled to find you. Even before our bonding, I felt myself being drawn to you in this way, but now it is almost overwhelming."

"Could it be because of your Katra? Are we like two halves of something trying to become whole again? Do you want your Katra back?"

"I do not know. I will need to consult with my grandmother and the healers on Vulcan," Spock said, still deep in contemplation. "There is much I do not know about Vulcan telepathy."

"There must be a logical explanation for all of this. If we're both experiencing it then it means I'm not going crazy. You did something to me," Uhura accused, but with no malice.

"Indeed, I did," Spock didn't hesitate to admit. He slid his chair out so she could sit on his lap. He held his hand out palm and Uhura rested her palm on his. They slide their hands together, warmth radiating throughout their bodies as they kissed in the Vulcan way.

"Parted from me and never parted, never and always touching and touched," Spock said.

"Mmm," Uhura moaned. "That's nice. What is it?"

"Those are the traditional words spoken at the time of a bonding."

"I don't remember you saying it to me."

"Nor do I. Regretfully, I do not remember most of our bonding. We would have said those words to one another when we met at the place of Koon-ut-kal-if-fee."

"Parted from me and never parted," she repeated the ancient words.

They were well and truly bonded, and the connection ran deeper than anything he could have ever imagined. If there had ever been a bond between Spock and T'Pring, it was a mere grain of sand in the great Forge compared to the bond he felt building between Nyota and himself. It ran deeper than any ocean on Earth and higher than the tallest mountain range on Vulcan. Was this love? Surely this must be what love felt like. The overpowering attachment his mother's people described.

"That kitten was too young to be separated from it's mother and that's why it was so dependent on me. That's why my mother took her back. Unlike that kitten, I can't return to who I was before our bond, but I can't keep clinging to you either. We're Starfleet officers. What if a mission calls for us to be apart for long periods of time? What if one of us is distracted at a critical moment? We need to control these feelings, Spock."

"I agree. I will contact T'Pau as soon as possible. In the meantime, may I suggest you get some rest?"

"Rest? All I do is rest. I'm tired of resting. I'm ready to go back to work and be useful."

"You will remain on leave until Doctor McCoy gives you the all-clear."

"It could be a while before McCoy has run all those tests he says I need."

"Then you will remain on medical rest for a while."

"Oh, okay Dr. Spock," she pouted, but she honestly had no desire to go against his or the doctor's orders. She kissed his cheek and then went to lie down for a nap. Spock cleaned up their dinner table and when he finished, she patted the space beside her on the bed.

"Climb up in here with me and I'll consider following the doctor's orders."

"I do not think you will get any rest if I join you."

She grinned innocently. "Why not?"

"Nyota," Spock warned.

"I just want to cuddle like a sehlat, I swear." She raised her right hand as if pledging an oath.

"I do not believe we can simply cuddle."

"What do you mean? Are you saying you can't control yourself?"

"My self-control is unquestioned. You, however, have admitted that you can't be trusted to keep your hands to yourself around me," he said.

"I can keep my hands where they belong. It seems to me you're afraid."

"I am," Spock confessed seriously. "I'll never do anything to put you or our child at risk."

"You'd never hurt us. Besides, Dr. McCoy didn't say I had to cease all activity he only wanted me to rest and relax. I've rested and I feel fine. Now climb up here Mister."

Spock relented and lay down gently on the bed beside her. Nyota lay her head on his chest and Spock slowly stroked her hair in silence.

"I am a little scared too," she finally admitted.

"I know. I'm sorry."

"Sorry about what, about our baby?"

"No. Never. Not about our child. I will never be sorry about that."

"Then what are you sorry for?"

Spock didn't answer. He just stroked her head.

"What is it?" she prodded. "We're in this together, remember?"

"I am sorry that you must carry the burden of all my faults."

"Ugh, not this again! I'm not complaining...yet. I'm a big girl. We're both adults. Obviously, we've done some adult things. This is just another adult responsibility. We've both made choices that we can't undo and I for one, don't want to. I have no regrets about us. Please tell me you don't regret this?"

"I regret nothing," Spock said with some of his confidence back.

"Good! That's the arrogant Spock I like. However, I know you. You say that now but you'll be apologizing about something you regret doing to me in the future."

Spock harrumphed, making a low-pitched rumble in her ear. "Spock, we never discussed something like this happening."

"Something like what?"

"We never discussed children and whether or not we wanted any. Do you want to have children?"

She felt Spock's body tense. "Spock?" She looked up into his eyes.

"I never thought I could have children, so I never contemplated it. Or rather I never allowed myself to want them."

"Why not? Why did you think you couldn't have them?"

"I am a hybrid, the offspring of two seemingly incompatible species. The healers were never certain of my viability. They assured my parents they had done all the genetic tests and that I 'should be able to sire a child, but it was never guaranteed."

"I had no idea you went through all that," she said thoughtfully.

"And you, Aduna, did you want children?"

"Actually, I was a bit like you. Although I knew it was biologically possible, I just never imagined I could do it. Just because you can have children doesn't mean you should." She was thinking of her own absent parents.

"Nyota, do you...want to have this child?" Spock was almost afraid of her answer.

She sat upright to stare at him in shock. "Of course I do! Why would you even ask? You should know me better than to even think otherwise," she retorted. "I could never, ever harm innocent life. And as a Vulcan and just as Spock, I would think you would never even consider it...would you?" she asked, now feeling insecure and on the verge of tears again.

"No, never!" he said, and he pulled her back into his arms. "I was just being-"

"Foolish?" she asked.

"Yes, foolish," he agreed.

After a while of silently holding one another, Uhura said, "Spock, you're allowed an opinion too."

"I know I am allowed an opinion."

"So don't just let me run roughshod over you because you don't want to offend my fragile human emotions. You have a right to want things too. And if I'm being foolish or obstinate, you should tell me. It takes two people to make a baby. Don't just let me make all the decisions."

"But it is ultimately your body and your choice..."

"I made a choice when I decided to go through Pon Farr with you. After all, the whole point of mating is perpetuating the species, isn't it?" she asked.

"Indeed, that is quite logical, Aduna," Spock said as he rubbed her back in long, tender strokes.

She sighed in relief. "Good. See, this is nice, isn't it? I must confess, I've been really tired lately."

"I have noticed."

"You noticed that, huh? What else did you notice besides my bigger breasts? I'm surprised you didn't know about this pregnancy before I did. You know practically everything else about me. I'm surprised you don't track my periods or something."

"I used to before we were bonded," he confessed.

Uhura sat up and stared at him again. "What?! Why the hell would you do that?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "I happen to have a heightened sense of smell. I can detect the subtle changes in your scent, body temperature, and chemistry. After you were on suppressants, I didn't notice the changes as much. Though that could be due to the pregnancy. After we bonded, I noticed that you were frequently tired during your shifts, but you were also not sleeping properly at night. And more recently, I noticed you were not eating as much as you should. I also noticed that you have been crying more than usual."

"You and your Vulcan senses. You don't miss anything, do you?"

"I missed too many things. Aduna, I promise never to neglect your health and wellbeing again. I shall double my efforts to monitor your condition."

"I missed it too. This may sound silly, but I thought I was addicted to you like a drug. I meant what I said about being apart from you. It frightens me sometimes how fast everything is happening."

"I know, and I am-"

"Please don't say you're sorry ever again. Just be here for me. I need confident, arrogant Spock now. I need your unflappable Vulcan strength and logic. Spock, we're going to have a baby!"

"Yes, we are going to have a baby," Spock agreed. "And everything will be fine. I will make it so."

Uhura broke down in tears again. She couldn't help being an emotional wreck. Spock pulled her down to rest her head on his shoulder. "I've got you," he murmured, mimicking one of her expressions as he gently stroked her back.

Nyota snorted and hiccuped. She was corrupting Spock too. "I can hardly believe this is happening to me. I thought motherhood was somewhere far, FAR, into my future, if ever. Now, before you know it, I'll be an old gray-haired grandma. And you'll still be young and handsome," she sniffled, giving voice to one of her secret fears.

"I shall be a gray-haired grandfather along with you."

"You're a Vulcan. Doctor McCoy says you're still young too. You'll live for a long, long time. You'll barely be middle-aged when I'm old and gray."

"I am only half Vulcan. I am also half Human. The healers on Vulcan could never determine with any degree of certainty how I will age. They believed I lacked what they consider 'hybrid vigor'. Some thought I would not survive into adulthood. Others thought I would never mature past puberty, that I would never experience Pon Farr let alone father a child." Spock remembered all the tests, and scans, and healers he had endured in his younger days. But he had survived and proved all the healers wrong, and so would his baby.

"I'm sorry you had to go through so much as a child," Nyota said, hugging him tightly. "I can't imagine the challenges you've faced growing up half-Human on Vulcan, being different from everyone and wondering if you would even grow up. I'm so glad those healers were wrong, and you survived to knock me up."

Spock smiled inwardly at her remark, but soon he sobered at his next thought. "They were wrong about some things. However, no one knows what my lifespan will be. I could live a full Vulcan lifespan or less than that of a Human. My hybrid genes are completely unpredictable."

"What about our baby then?"

"Given that I am only half Vulcan, I can only hope that our child will not share the same risk factors. There is a better than 50 percent chance the child will present as almost fully human."

"Would that bother you?"

"Why would that bother me?"

"I mean, every parent wants their child to reflect themselves in some way. Would it bother you to have a fully human-looking child?"

"Of course not. It would be preferable to be either fully Vulcan or Human. To be neither Vulcan nor human is undesirable."

"According to who? I find you very desirable." Uhura disentangled their hug and straddled Spock's lap taking his face in her hands.

"I've always found you very desirable. You possess the best qualities of both Vulcan and Earth. You have your mother's wonderful sense of humor and adventure, and your Father's sense of duty and justice. Your existence is a miracle."

"Nyota-"

"Hush. I know you can't appreciate how special you are, but I've never known anyone like you. You're the best man that I've ever known in my entire life. There hasn't been a day since we met that I haven't admired you. I trust you with all of me." She kissed his lips and pulled back to look at his beautiful eyes.

"Adun," she said, looking into his eyes, "I have another confession to make."

She looked so serious that Spock braced for her next words. "What is it?"

"Spock, I didn't just agree to marry you because I had to save your life. I did it because I wanted to marry you, even if I couldn't admit it to myself at the time. Christine was right about that. I've always wanted you, and when I saw my chance to have you, I took advantage of it."

That was not what Spock was expecting to hear. He was so surprised he couldn't think of a response.

"Can you forgive me?" Uhura asked.

"Aduna, there is nothing to forgive. You did nothing wrong, nothing that I didn't want to happen. In fact, I thank you for wanting me despite the unsavory circumstances of our bonding."

"I have to admit if I had known what Pon Farr really was all about, I may have run away screaming," she joked. "But you know what they say? Fools rush in..."

Uhura lay her head on his shoulder again. "What should we do for the rest of the day? Do you have to go back on duty?"

"I will remain with you for the time being. There is no pressing ship's business I must attend to at the moment."

"Good, because we seem to have some pressing business between the two of us," Nyota said, pressing herself down on his lap. "Ooh, feel that hybrid vigor!"

Spock rolled his eyes. His wife was insatiable. "I think you should rest more until the doctor clears you. I don't want to risk your health further. You slept all day."

"And now I'm awake. We're having a baby, we're not dead. It's not like you can get me more pregnant..." she teased and then she sat up straight. "Can you?" she questioned him. With Vulcans, who knew?

"No, I do not believe that is possible, Aduna."

"Good, because I'm already feeling this one pregnancy enough. I haven't been eating properly. I am tired and sleepy all the time. I'm horny one minute and crying the next. And most annoying, my nipples are always stiff. I've been going crazy trying to hide them so nobody would notice," Uhura said.

"I have noticed," Spock said and Nyota felt the rumble of his voice deep in her chest.

"I bet you did. Why didn't you say anything? Do you know how uncomfortable it is to walk around with erect nipples all the time?"

"I can only imagine," he said in a dry tone.

"Hmm, can you?" she asked, wriggling on his lap even more. "What else can you only imagine?"

Spock was feeling quite erect himself and could barely focus on her words. "Before... uh... before we bonded, I could only imagine being here in your bed with you."

"Hmmm, I remember I had to beg you to get in bed with me."

"I do not recall such an event."

"On Argelius, you slept on the floor and refused to share the bed."

"Ah yes, but you did not want me then."

"Yes, I did. I wanted you so bad, but I was being stupid. Did you really imagine getting into bed with me?"

"Yes, quite often," Spock said, trying to maintain his composure.

"What else did you imagine besides lying in my bed?" She whispered into his ear and licking the pointed tips for good measure. "What did you want to do to me?"

"I... um... Nyota, we should stop this."

"Stop what?"

"We should not be... I mean... I don't think..." He tried to talk while his wife stuck her tongue in his ear.

"Shhh. That's right, you don't think," Uhura said, kissing his earlobe. "Just do."

Spock was conflicted for about a second before he decided he was fighting a battle he didn't even want to win. He would do.

Uhura slid her hands under his uniform shirt and began to slide it up to expose his chest.

Luckily, Nyota was only wearing a wrap-around dress. Spock was able to easily untie the sash and expose her full perky breasts with the very erect nipples barely contained in the lacy bra he bought for her.

Just as he was about to take one in his mouth, the door chime sounded.

"Just ignore it," she said. She released the fastener on Spock's trousers when the door chimed again.

Before Spock could scramble out from under her to answer it, Uhura called out.

"Go away! We're busy. Come back in ten minutes!"

"Nyota!" Spock protested. They wouldn't be finished in ten minutes.

"Shush. Whoever it is will catch the hint and go away."

"What if it is an emergency?"

"Then they'll sound the red alert," she said, resuming her exploration.

"What if it is the Doctor?"

"It's probably Charlene. She can take a hint."

Uhura resumed kissing her way down Spock's chest and abdomen and was slowly working her way lower, nipping his skin here and there with her teeth. She got to the top of his pants and the door chimed again. She was about to raise her head when Spock shouted out.

"Come back in an hour!"