AN: Is anybody still reading this? I'm sorry for the long hiatus. Blame it on the holidays, the pandemic, work, etc. I'm trying new things for the new year that require my attention and writing is on the back burner for a moment. But rest assured, this story has an ending. It's already written and we're almost there. I just need to refine and edit it. I hope this chapter tides you over until I can post again. But I'm busy so it may be a while.

About Last Night

"Ny, thank goodness you're here!" Charlene grabbed her friend, hugging Uhura fiercely as soon as she walked through the cabin door.

"Don't you worry 'bout a thing," Uhura said, patting Charlene's back? "Spock and I are going to take care of everything."

Charlene's head shot up. "Spock! Good lord, help me." She disentangled herself from Uhura and started pacing back and forth in her small cabin's sitting area.

Uhura took a seat and made herself comfortable. "Yes, Spock. He's gone right now to straighten everything out with the captain. So stop worrying, sit down, and tell me what happened. I've never seen you so rattled."

Charlene took a seat next to Uhura and rested her head in her hands. "I don't even know what happened myself." She rubbed her temples. "It's all so muzzy."

"What do you mean you don't know what happened? You said you kissed the captain."

"I did kiss him," Charlene groaned.

"Well, how? Why? Start at the beginning and keep talking until you get to the kiss," Uhura encouraged.

"Okay," Charlene said. "It started in the rec room last night. Jim came barging in looking like... I don't know, looking miserable and lost. I should have minded my own business, but I just couldn't. Something pulled me over to his table. He didn't even notice me at first, he just sat there staring at nothing."

"Okay," Uhura said, trying to picture the captain in such a state. She knew Spock and Dr. McCoy had a disagreement with him after revealing her pregnancy. She was kind of miffed about the whole situation if the truth were told. She had every right to start a family and keep her job on the Enterprise. It hurt to know that her own captain, a man she looked up to and admired more than almost anyone, didn't think she should have that right.

The captain was Spock's best friend, and she didn't want to be the cause of a rift between them, so when Spock told her the story of their disagreement, she held her tongue. But Uhura knew her friend had no such compunction. If he spouted such nonsense to Charlene, he probably got an ear full in return.

"So you went to his table? Then what happened?" Uhura probed.

"I... I don't know why I confronted him. I know how he is. Didn't I tell you he wouldn't take your pregnancy lightly? I knew it would throw him for a loop, but seeing it still hurt..."

"Charlene, what did he say?"

"We argued. I asked him if he was in love with Spock and that made him angry."

"Why would you ask him that?"

"Because he looked just like you did the night I found you moping around the rec room pining for Spock."

"I was not pining for Spock that night," Uhura denied with a huff of breath.

Charlene shot her a sardonic look. "And yet you are now happily married and carrying his child."

Uhura waved her off with a flick of her wrist. "Forget about me and Spock for the moment. What happened between you and the captain? You're just avoiding this kiss you're so worried about."

"Will you let me tell the story in my own way?" Charlene snapped.

"You're not telling it!" Uhura grumbled.

"Alright," Charlene said in a calmer voice. "Look, you know Jim and I dated back when we went to the Academy together?"

Uhura nodded, "Yeah, you've mentioned it before, so?"

"So, we were close back then. Like best friends close. Jim had a rough childhood, and he had to work extra hard to get into the academy. Failure wasn't an option, nor in his vocabulary. A lot of us 'plebs' started a studying group and vowed to stick together and help each other so no one washed out. Jim was our de facto leader. I looked up to him. We had a lot in common back then. Jim and I had similar backgrounds, and we were often alone together. The last ones still in the study hall after hours. We just naturally hit it off right away."

Charlene had a far-off look on her face as she recalled the past events. "Even back then," she continued, "Jim was driven as if he was being chased by demons. He had one goal in life, get off Earth and make it back to the stars. He studied night and day and you never saw him without a stack of books in his arms or a Data Padd under his nose."

Uhura listened with rapt attention to Charlene's story, marveling at the thought of a young James T. Kirk being an ordinary student at the academy. He was already a legend among cadets by the time she went through training. He was still one of a very few students to overcome the Kobayashi Maru trial and bring about a favorable outcome.

"Jim was destined to be a starship captain, and I understood he would never let anything stand in his way, not even me," Charlene said sadly. "But last night, there sat the proud, determined Captain James T. Kirk, looking lost and defeated. And instead of cheering him up, what did I do? I rubbed salt on his wounds," Charlene despaired.

"Oh, Char. I'm sure you didn't mean to hurt the captain-"

"I did though. I meant to hurt him, the way he hurt me. But I shouldn't have. It was neither the time nor place for me to argue with Jim. I vowed I would never let our past interfere with my job or my future, and what did I do? Start shit in the rec room in front of everyone!" Charlene said.

"As soon as he stormed off, I knew I had fucked up, so I followed him. Why, oh why, did I follow him? I should have just let it be, but no, I had to go and follow him to his quarters."

"Oh?" Uhura said. She was starting to think this 'kiss' was not so little or innocent at all. Maybe she and the captain weren't the only ones guilty of secretly pining for someone late at night in the rec room? And it was crystal clear that Charlene and the captain did more than 'just date' back at the academy.

"Char, what happened between you and the captain in the academy?" Uhura asked gently as she looked into her friend's troubled eyes?

Charlene returned Uhura's gaze, but she didn't answer. She wasn't ready to tell that story. Not now, maybe not ever. Instead, she continued with the story of last night.

"I went to apologize for my behavior and we argued some more. One thing led to another and then we had drinks..."

"What did you argue about?"

"We argued about the past, but that doesn't matter anymore. I should have left after I apologized. I knew what could happen..."

"What did happen? Did he make a move on you or something?"

"No. We drank. We talked. Remembered things best left forgotten. I don't know, that's when things get muzzy. But I distinctly remember I kissed him. Or he kissed me. We Kissed."

"But how? Why? Where? For how long? Girl, you gotta give me something to work with!" Uhura was getting frustrated. How could she fix what she didn't understand?

Charlene rubbed her temples again in agitation, trying to force the memories. "Halo pics!" She blurted out. "He had an album of old halo pics from the academy and we sat on the bed and- Oh shit! Why did we sit on his bed?" She shook her head.

"We sat side by side looking at the pics and remembered old friends and hangouts... It was so late and I was so tired and likely more than a little tipsy. I should have left, Ny. But Jim was like his old self. Funny, charming, gentle, kind, vulnerable. And the way he looked at me... The way he made me feel. Just for a moment, I wanted to remember the good times," she said sadly. "I don't know who started it, or how it happened, but I remember pulling away from the kiss and getting the hell outta there."

"That's it?" Uhura asked.

"That's it!" Charlene screeched. "What do you mean, that's it? It's enough! I'll never be able to face him again." Charlene planted her face in her hands again.

"Yes, you can face him," Uhura insisted, lifting her friend's head to look into her eyes. "This isn't the end of the world, Char. You got drunk with an old friend, you kissed for olde lang syne, and you left. That's not a crime, even if it was with the captain. I told you, I've kissed the captain before too. It is not the end of the world."

"Yeah, but it's different with you!"

"How is it different?" Uhura asked.

"Because you didn't — You didn't date the captain before. You don't have a past with him," Charlene explained.

"No, I didn't date him, but I work with him on the bridge with him every day. That breeds a certain amount of familiarity and camaraderie. You don't even have to see him or sit behind him every day. You work below decks. Plus, the captain's not the only bridge crewman I've kissed and had to face every day. I also kissed Hikaru. Did you know that?"

"No." Charlene grabbed a tissue from the table to wipe her eyes.

"Well, I did. Just like with you and the captain, Sulu and I were best friends, and we kissed in the heat of the moment. Afterward, we both thought it was the silliest thing we'd ever done, and we agreed to move on with our lives and never mention it again."

"Well, good for you and Hik, but Jim and I made no such agreement. I ran outta there like a bat outta hell. God only knows what he thinks of me now. Probably thinks I made a drunken play for him or something like all the other moon-eyed officers running around infatuated with him."

"Charlene, do you remember the night of the Gorn ball?"

"Of course, I do." Charlene sniffed and dabbed at her teary eyes, getting herself back under control. "I remember the morning after too, when you called me in a tizzy because you got drunk in front of Spock."

"I was not in a tizzy. But yeah, I was pretty upset, just like you are now. That's why I don't drink anymore. People tend to do stupid things when they drink."

"You don't drink because you can't hold your liquor," Charlene corrected Uhura.

"Yes, I can hold my liquor, or at least I could before I got this damned Katra in my head. I used to hold my own with you and Scotty and the gang when we had our poker nights."

"No, you didn't Ny. You don't even remember all the times Scotty and I had to escort you to your quarters to make sure you made it safely without tripping over your own feet. That's why I have your door code."

Uhura protested. "I never..."

"Ny, you're a lightweight. You got drunk at the Gorn ball on a few glasses of watered-down champagne."

"I had more than a few glasses-"

"No, you didn't," Charlene insisted.

"It doesn't matter. The point is, I had a few too many, and I spilled my guts to Spock and I don't even remember it. He told me later that I told him about my mother. I wouldn't have told anyone about my mother, even with a phaser to my head. So I know how you must feel to realize you did or said something foolish while drunk."

"It's not the same thing, Ny. You and Spock are in love and you were even back then. He thinks you can do no wrong."

"We weren't 'in love' back then," Uhura insisted. "But I remember waking up naked and afraid and thinking I'd made a pass at my commander or worse and do you know what you told me?"

Charlene shook her head. "No. What?"

"You told me to just ask Spock what happened and move on."

"Well, that advice obviously stinks. Didn't you have a big misunderstanding with Spock after that?" Charlene pointed out.

"Yes, because I didn't take your advice. I'm stubborn, just like you. And while we're on the subject, I seem to recall you also asked me if I was in love with Spock. What do you do? Go around asking everybody if they're in love with Spock?"

"No. I only ask people staring at their coffee in the rec room late at night. Obviously, I struck a nerve. Both times."

"Obviously," Uhura rolled her eyes. "Now let me ask you something, Char. Are you in love with the captain? Is that why you're so upset?"

"Ny. I love you. You're my best friend. You know you can tell me anything and I'll keep your confidence forever, and I trust you to do the same for me. But I can't... I won't answer that, so don't ask me," Charlene pleaded.

Uhura wanted to argue and force her friend to confess, just as she'd been forced to confess her feelings for Spock. But instead, she decided to trust that Charlene knew what was best for herself. "Okay, Charlene, I understand and I won't ask."

"No, you don't understand Ny, but thank you for being here."

"Where else would I be when my best friend is hurting? I told you Spock and I are going to fix this. You will face the captain as if nothing happened, just like I faced Spock after the ball. Just like I had to face the captain after our kiss."

"Ny, why did you kiss Jim? And why do I get the impression it wasn't good? You make it seem the worst thing ever?"

Uhura sighed. This wasn't a story she liked to recall, but like Charlene said, she could tell her anything. And it would be good to get it off her chest. "You know the bridge crew gets into some crazy situations, right?"

Charlene rolled her eyes. "Girl, that's the understatement of the century. Your missions, at least the ones that aren't classified, are the stuff of endless gossip and legend."

"Yeah, well. On one of those crazy missions, I was abducted from the Enterprise against my will."

"You mean besides when Spock kidnapped you?" Charlene teased her.

"Spock did not kidnap me," Uhura said reflexively. "But yes, I was abducted before that. I'm sure there was gossip about it afterward no matter how much the captain and Starfleet tried to squash it. It started when the Captain, Spock, and Dr. McCoy were being held hostage on a planet we visited to give emergency medical aid to their leader."

"Which time was that? Those three are always being held hostage by some planet. They do make a strong impression everywhere they go. How many planets have they visited that are now officially off limits to the Federation and its members?"

"Yeah, we wear out our welcome at a lot of those planets, don't we? But on this particular planet, the people possessed the power of psychokinesis."

"Psycho-what?" Charlene asked.

"Psychokinesis. Like telekinesis, but worse. Not only could the inhabitants move and manipulate matter with their minds, but unlike telekinesis where you manipulate objects, the Platonions could also control people's behavior. They used that power to hold the ship and crew hostage, and we didn't even know what was happening. While on the surface, the captain, Spock, and Bones were being held against their will, forced to stay and perform at the leader's whim and they couldn't even call the Enterprise for help."

"While all this was going on, their leader used psychokinesis to summon Christine and me to the transporter room. We had no control, Charlene. Our bodies were being used without our consent!"

"Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry something like that happened to you. I had no idea."

"It was horrible, Charlene. And you didn't know because it's hard to talk about. I just like to forget it. I don't enjoy being in those situations where the enemy is too powerful and impossible to fight. I don't like feeling so afraid and helpless. Just imagine some stranger controlling you like that, and you can't stop them, can't resist. To lose control of your own body, not just forced to move but forced to say things too, and you are powerless to stop it."

Nyota shivered just remembering how frightened she was. "And the things they made us do!"

Charlene took her friend into her arms. "Shush, honey. You don't have to say anything more. I'm sorry I made you remember it. Just forgot about it."

Uhura shook her head, "No. It's not your fault. You didn't do anything wrong, and neither did we. Those Platonians were bad. I don't know how they did it or why, but they knew personal things about all of us and they used it against us. They made Christine and I change each other into weird clothes and they made us touch each other... probably because we were close friends..." Uhura shook her head with shame.

"They made Spock laugh and cry, knowing how it would humiliate him as a Vulcan. Then they made Chris kiss Spock because they knew she had feelings for him... And then they made me kiss the captain. I guess because they knew I how much admired him and thought he would protect me. And they knew the captain would never touch a crewman under his command..."

"Charlene, I didn't want to do those things! I tried as hard as I could to fight it, but they made me do it anyway. I was so angry, but also so afraid of what they would make us do next..."

Uhura stood up and paced the small space. "They had no right to do what they did to us! We were nothing but puppets for them to play with. If I had wanted to kiss the captain, that should have been my choice, not some deranged voyeuristic tyrant's game. They took perverse pleasure in our pain and fear and humiliation and I hated them!" Uhura confessed.

"I thought I'd never be able to face them again. Spock and Christine and especially the captain. I think we all just silently agreed never to speak of it after the debriefing and filing our reports." She took a deep, calming breath. "It was tough at first, I won't lie. But in the grand scheme of things, it wasn't the worst to happen to me during a mission. I love my job and I wasn't about to let some sick perverts on a quarantined planet take it away from me."

Uhura stopped pacing and faced her friend, unashamed. "It helped that I went to a lot of support meetings too. Eventually, it got better, although it took a few weeks for me to be able to look the captain and Spock in the eyes properly. The hardest part was not kissing the captain, but the violation of my free will and the way I felt ashamed."

"Ny, you had nothing to feel ashamed of. Those freaks on that planet should be ashamed of what they did. The Federation should have done something to them... brought charges or formal protest..."

"They are not Federation members. All the Federation could do was enact sanctions against them with no way to enforce them and warn Federation vessels away from the system. But I have to admit, if I had the power and it was up to me, I would have razed that planet to rubble," Uhura said angrily. "Starfleet captains have great power, and with it comes great responsibilities. Starfleet can't afford rogue captains who take it upon themselves to commit genocide because of a personal affront. Captain Kirk could have destroyed them, but in the end, he chose not to. Because he's a good and fair man."

Uhura took Charlene's hands and pulled her close. "You can face the Captain, Charlene, and you will; because you didn't do anything to be ashamed of, and because Jim's a good man who he doesn't hold a grudge."

Charlene hugged Uhura tightly. Uhura still looked up to Jim as if he were a paragon, a 'good and fair man' who didn't hold a grudge. How little Nyota really knew about the real James Tiberius Kirk. Hell, he was still bitter about her friendship with Finny. If he ever found out the truth... She didn't want to think about the past anymore. She had to focus on the future and hope Ny was right. Hope Jim really was a good and fair man who would forgive her.

*/*/*

"Captain Kirk," Spock nodded in greeting while he took in the captain's disheveled appearance. Captain Kirk had a day's growth of beard on his face, and his hair was arranged on his head in a tangled mess. It didn't take much of a detective to deduce that the captain had been drinking the night before. There was an empty bottle of what Spock suspected to be Romulan ale on his dining table and two empty glasses.

One of the cabin's chairs had been capsized and left unceremoniously in that undignified position while Kirk sat in the other. He was holding his head in his hands as if he were afraid it would somehow detach from his neck and float away.

"Mr. Spock, why are you here?"

"I was ordered here, Captain."

"Ordered? By whom? Dr. McCoy?"

"No." Spock walked over to the table and picked up the chair to take a seat with the captain. "I was ordered by my wife."

"Your wife? Since when do you take orders from Lieutenant Uhura?"

"As you know, Vulcanian society is traditionally matriarchal. I find myself inclined to follow my wife's leadership under certain circumstances. For example, when she convinced you to overrule my decision to forgo a court-martial," Spock reminded the captain.

"Ah yes," Kirk laughed and then rubbed his temple to subdue the pain. "Yes," he said in a subdued voice. "I recall. So why has your good wife ordered you here this morning? What have you done now?"

"It is not a question of what I have done now, but rather a question of what have you done last night," Spock told him.

"Last night? Let me guess, you told her about our disagreement and now she's cross with me?"

"Yes, I did tell her of our conversation and I believe she is not pleased with your opinions, but no, that is not what this meeting is about."

"Then what is this about, Spock? In case you haven't noticed, I'm not in any mood for another long discussion."

"So I have observed. I believe Dr. McCoy has something that will counteract the effects of the copious amounts of alcohol you have consumed last evening."

"I'm certain he has, but I'm not about to go to the sickbay right now. Bad enough you're here to gloat."

"I do not gloat. I take no pleasure in your discomfort, Jim. I am here because it has been brought to my attention that you've had an incident with Lieutenant Masters last night."

"Lieutenant... Oh yeah, Charlene!" Kirk said loudly, instantly regretting it. "Charlene," he said again softly.

"Indeed. She was here last night, wasn't she?"

"Yes, Mister Spock, but you already know that, don't you? So why don't you just tell me what this is all about so I can take care of this headache and get back to work?"

"Well, Jim it appears you and the Lieutenant had a great deal of alcohol to drink last night."

"Yes, we did. Is that a problem?"

"Perhaps," Spock said. "It depends on what else happened."

"Is this about what happened in the rec room? I'm sure we put on quite a show last night, but rest assured we've reconciled our differences."

"I have not received any reports from the crew about your behavior in the rec room last evening. I'm here because of what happened after that."

"Spock, I'm sure this cryptic meeting is perfectly logical to you, but I'm not up for it. Say what you have to say."

"Captain, you understand that in my capacity as your second in command, I must look after the welfare and safety of the crew?"

"Yes, Spock, I understand. Now get on with it."

"Very well. I am here on behalf of Lt. Masters."

"What's she done now?"

"Well, she um, she said that she argued with you last night."

"And I have already confirmed that. What about it?

"What did the two of you, er... discuss?"

"Spock, I'm not in the habit of discussing my personal affairs with anyone, and you are certainly not the shy type. What do you want to know?" Kirk demanded.

"Did you kiss Lieutenant Masters?"

"Did I do what?"

"Do you really want me to repeat the question, Captain?"

"No, Mister Spock I do not. And no, I did not kiss lieutenant Masters. What gave you that crazy idea?"

"Did she kiss you?" Spock asked, ignoring the captain's question.

"No! Lieutenant Masters and I did not kiss!"

"She thinks that you did."

"Well, she's mistaken. You know me Spock. You know I would not fraternize."

"I know you were upset when you left me and Bones last night. I know that you and Lieutenant Masters drank a great deal of Romulan ale, and I know she told my wife that you kissed."

"Well, she's mistaken. Romulan ale can cloud a person's judgment, memory, and reactions, you know that. That's why it's banned."

"Romulan ale is illegal because we do not have a formal trade treaty with the Romulan Star Empire. And the fact that Romulan ale can cloud one's judgment is not exclusive to the Lieutenant. Has it not occur to you that your own memory and judgment have been compromised?"

"No. It does not." Kirk said angrily. "I don't know what Charlene told Uhura and I don't care. I did not kiss her. We had a public disagreement. She came to apologize. We had a few drinks and talked about old times. That's it."

"And she left your quarters amicably?"

Kirk frowned. "Yes, we parted amicably. Now you have asked your questions and done your duty. Are you satisfied that I have not... assaulted the Lieutenant?"

"I never meant to imply that you had committed an assault. I am satisfied that whatever happened between the two of you was mutual under the circumstances."

"Good. Anything else?"

"I believe that will be all, Captain. I apologize for the inconvenience." Spock rose to leave, but Kirk stopped him.

"Wait, Spock! I do need to apologize for my behavior last night. I'm sorry for the way I reacted to your news."

"I do not require an apology, Jim, but perhaps you could extend one to Lt. Masters?"

"Why?"

"Why not?"

"Because I've committed no offense, and if Lt. Masters thinks I did, then she can file a complaint; or better yet, come and tell me herself. She had no hesitation about telling me off last night. Now, if that's all Spock, I'd like to go and visit Dr. McCoy after all. The pain in my head is suddenly traveling south to my posterior."

"Really Captain? That sounds rather uncomfortable."

"Oh, it is. But I'm fairly certain the sooner we conclude this meeting, the better I'll feel."

Note: I'm almost certain that Uhura has kissed Captain Kirk a few times in this story. But as I thought about which kiss to relay to Charlene, I suddenly remembered the most famous Star Trek kiss of them all, the one that made American television history. When you think about it, that episode was very disturbing, not because of any interracial kiss but because of all the mental, physical, and implied sexual assault.