Romance is Illogical

Plans for the reception were in full swing. Charlene was busy with last-minute arrangements and didn't have time to think about her captain problem while the rest of the crew were busy enjoying their downtime. They were all excited with anticipation for the big event. After what the ship had been through these past few months a party was just what the doctor prescribed.

Said doctor found Mr. Spock hiding out in his science lab far away from all of the hubbub.

"Spock, what are you doing down here? Shouldn't you be getting ready for your wedding?" McCoy asked.

"Nyota and I are already married, Doctor," Spock answered without looking up from his work.

Bones sighed patiently. "You know what I meant. Shouldn't you be getting ready for your wedding reception?"

With deliberate calm, Spock turned to face the doctor. "What is there to get ready for?"

"I don't know, all of it. I only know Lieutenant Masters has asked me to officiate the ceremony."

"What ceremony?"

"She didn't tell you?" McCoy asked.

"Obviously not."

"Well, you and your lovely bride are to say some words in front of the entire crew."

"And what is your role in all of this?"

"I stand there and pronounce you married, I guess."

"We are already married," Spock stated again.

"Well, I stand there and make sure you say your peace in order. I don't know, that's why you need to prepare," Bones huffed.

"This is all illogical," Spock said and turned back to his science scanner.

"Spock," Bones placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"I know this is all out of your comfort zone and a little overwhelming. We humans tend to go over the top in our mating rituals. When it's time to mate, we don't have the biological signals that Vulcans do. We have to decide when to mate, who to mate with, and where... It's not all planned out in advance for us. So we put a lot of thought and effort into it. It's a big deal to us when two people decide to make a life commitment to one another."

Bones tried to explain further, "Maybe we don't have to mate or die, but it's important to us just the same. Anyway, you've had your big moment, now it's Uhura's turn. Can you try and understand that?"

Spock turned away from the scanner again and faced his friend.

"Yes, Bones I believe I understand. My parents..." Spock began but changed his mind. "My mother sets a great deal of importance in her marriage to my father. She has endured many hardships and prejudices in order to remain with him and among his people. She honors us with her loyalty and devotion every day. My father always stressed we should do no less for her."

"See. You do understand. I think. Uhura's given up a great deal to be with you. She didn't have a traditional Human wedding. She had a traditional Vulcan wedding. For you. Now, it's your turn to do this for her. That's marriage, give and take. I used to hear people say marriage was a 50/50 proposition, but I've since learned that's incorrect. Marriage is giving 100 percent all the time. You each have to give 100 percent of yourself into the marriage, not 50 percent each. You give your all and she gives her all and just maybe you'll make it all the way."

"All the way where Bones?"

"All the way until death, Spock. That's the goal of marriage. Until death do you part. Human marriages end in divorce 50 percent of the time when partners are only giving 50 percent of themselves. You have to be all in or not at all. It's pretty scary when you think about it."

"How so, Doctor?"

"Well, as you said, your mother gave her all. What has she sacrificed to be with Sarek? What has Sarek sacrificed to be with Amanda? How many times did either of them want or need something different in life but abandoned it for the sake of their marriage? How many pieces of yourself do you have to abandon in sacrifice to the marriage?" Bones asked.

"My wife left me," he confessed. "Said I worked too much. And although I loved her and our daughter with all my heart and soul, I still couldn't stay and keep our family together. I wanted more out of life, I needed more. And so here I am."

"Do you regret your decision, Doctor? Would you prefer to be with your family?"

"Sure I would prefer to be with my family but I don't regret my decision. If I had given up my chance at the stars, I would have resented my wife eventually, and she certainly resented me for needing more than she could provide. We didn't marry when we were too young or too soon after meeting. We took our time before marrying and thought it through. Despite that, we divorced. Somewhere along the way, we stopped giving our all to each other."

"My ex is happily married now to a guy she can give her all to. My daughter is safe on earth, living in a home with two parents who love her and protect her. And here I am with you," McCoy smiled. "I can't ask for more than that."

Spock nodded. "Thank you Bones."

"Don't mention it. That's what friends are for." Before he could turn to leave Spock stopped him.

"Bones, perhaps, as a friend you could provide additional advice?"

"Sure Spock, what is it?"

"What must I do for this human ceremony? What does it involve?"

"Well, as you say, you're already married, so this will just be a celebratory party. I was told that you and Uhura will stand on a dais before the crowd, and I will introduce you as husband and wife. Then you say a few words of thanks and maybe some words to each other and then we will have food, drinks, and dancing."

"I see. Are there no other traditions?"

"Well, you know there are as many traditions on earth as on any other planet. But normally a maid of honor and best man give a speech. That's why Jim isn't the MC. He's performing best man duties."

"He is?" Spock was surprised to hear this, especially since there had been some tension between Jim and himself.

"Sure, who else would do it?"

"I just thought perhaps he would decline since our disagreement."

"Now don't be illogical. You know Jim doesn't hold a grudge. He probably already forgot about that night. Besides, he's been there for you, standing by your side during your Pon Farr with both T'Pring and Nyota. You don't think he'd miss this, do you?"

"No," Spock said. Jim was the best friend he had ever had and Spock thought of him like a brother, like clan.

"So," Bones said, breaking Spock out of his thoughts. "You and Uhura just show up wearing your fancy dress uniforms and your friends will do the rest."

*/*/*/*

Uhura sat at the desk in their bedroom when Spock handed her a box tied up in a fancy bow. She accepted it with a bit of surprise. "What's this?"

"It is for our reception. Please open it," he said flatly.

Curious at Spock's strange behavior, Uhura carefully opened the box. Inside there were layers and layers of fine tissue paper and under all that fluff she found a piece of clothing. It looked like a new uniform.

When she took it from the box and held it up she realized just exactly what it was. Her old dress uniform.

"What? How? Where has this been?" She looked up at Spock with a confused expression.

Spock looked ahead stoically and said flatly. "I had it."

"Obviously. But why?" Uhura asked.

He took a deep, calming breath before looking down at his wife. Their eyes met and he stared at her for a long moment before answering, "I do not know. I just took it. There was no logical reason for me to do so."

"Oh," she said and she broke eye contact with him to look over the dress. It was in pristine condition. She stood and held it up to her body and looked at herself in the mirror. It looked just as it had... that night. She turned to look at Spock again.

"You took it the night of the Gorn ball," she said with no accusation, just stating a fact.

Spock nodded, "more precisely, I took it the morning after."

Uhura fought the urge to roll her eyes at his precision and sighed instead. "I had wondered what happened to it, but I guess I forgot all about it with everything else that had happened. I should have asked you for it long ago. But then again, I couldn't actually imagine you taking it."

She twirled around in a circle, looking at the dress pressed to herself from different angles. Then she looked around the bedroom. "Where did you hide it?"

"I was not hiding it," he said as if she had insulted him.

"Okay then, where were you STORING it?"

He calmly walked over to a corner that held a chest of his belongings. It was where he kept his ka'athyra and a few other personal items from Vulcan. Uhura had no desire to snoop into his personal things since their discussion about Droxine so she'd never looked in there.

"It was here," he said.

Uhura huffed and sat down on the bed. "So, it was right under my own nose the entire time, huh?"

"I apologize," Spock said.

"For what?"

"For taking it."

She waved his apology off. "Well, you gave it back." She was about to get up and get back to business when he stopped her.

"NO. I should not have taken your clothing. I am sorry."

Uhura studied his serious expression. "You're really disturbed by this?"

Spock didn't respond, just held himself at attention as if awaiting punishment.

Uhura stood up and placed a hand against his cheek until he looked down at her. "Spock, I don't care about this silly uniform. Of course, it's nice to have it back, but if it had truly been lost forever I'd survive. It's just a uniform. I've destroyed plenty on this mission."

"Does it not have sentimental value to you?" he asked.

"It does, but I've lost sentimental keepsakes before. It happens."

"Nevertheless, I regret my actions that day."

"Please don't. Let's have no more regrets between us. Why did you take it anyway, really?"

"As I said, I do not know. It was an unfortunate impulse," he said and looked away.

Uhura smiled. "You're embarrassed?"

Spock glanced down at her quickly before pulling away but she stopped him. "No, I'm only teasing you. Don't be embarrassed. Although you are mighty cute like this. You just did something human."

At that pronouncement, Spock snapped his eyes back up to meet hers. "Human? How was that human?"

"You didn't grow up around a bunch of horny teenage humans, but if you had, you'd know that they do some weird impulsive things. Boys snapping girls' bra straps and girls doodling boys' names on their data pads. Teasing and playing pranks on the person you have a crush on. Stupid stuff like that."

"Dipping girls' curls in inkwells?" Spock asked.

"What's that?" Uhura asked.

"Something Jim once asked me. He called it a practical joke."

"Oh well, yes, something like that, but more... sexual in nature. Sort of the precursor to courting."

"It rather sounds like assault and very illogical."

"It is very illogical. It's the actions of young and dumb kids trying to figure out their sexuality. Children transitioning to adulthood with raging hormones driving them to want things they don't quite yet understand. Conflicting feelings of desire and repulsion for the object of your affection. Puberty is an emotional roller coaster."

"And these minor assaults are... acceptable?" Spock asked.

"No." Uhura shook her head. "Of course, you're not supposed to behave badly just because your hormones are imbalanced, but you of all people should understand how that can make you behave?" she raised a brow in question.

"Indeed I do understand."

"So, even though you weren't exactly in Pon Farr that night, you were probably just feeling a little Vulcan prepubescence, no?"

"I do not know. I do not believe I would call it prepubescence."

"Spock, loosen up. You are part human, and you're allowed to slip and be illogical once in a while. You didn't assault me if that is what you're thinking. You just stole my dress. And it looks like you took excellent care of it. What did you do once you had it?"

He looked away again. "I... did nothing."

"Really? You didn't sniff it or um... I've heard guys who steal women's garments wear them and uh," she wagged her eyebrows, "pleasure themselves with them."

"No! I did not do that," Spock denied.

"Okay, calm down. So you just washed it and put it away in your chest?"

"Yes."

"For safekeeping?"

"Yes."

"Because?"

"It belonged to you. I intended to return it to you, however, the opportunity never presented itself."

"Oh, you needed an opportunity?"

"Yes. I didn't know how to return it after taking it."

"I see," she said thoughtfully. "I supposed it would be a bit awkward returning a dress to the woman you'd taken it from leaving her naked and asleep. But you could have just left it at the door later or better yet, you could have just left it somewhere in my quarters for me to find. I'd have never been the wiser." She shrugged and walked to the closet to hang up the uniform. Then she went to sit at her desk again.

"Charlene and I thought perhaps you'd taken it to be cleaned. I assumed I'd spilled something on it that night or worse, been sick on it. But then you never brought it back or even acknowledged having it so I forgot about it. Besides, after our "date" I wanted to forget that whole thing." She turned back to the computer, ready to continue her work, when Spock spoke.

"I didn't."

"Hmm?"

"I did not want to forget everything. That night when you confessed your feelings, I wanted to confess to mine as well, and I intended to tell you everything at our dinner, but you expressed only wanting to be friends."

"Oh yeah. I told you already how confused and embarrassed I was. I thought I'd made a fool of myself in front of you and I just wanted to pretend it hadn't happened.

"And I wanted it to have happened. I wanted to tell you about Pon Farr and that I wanted you. It was a night I wanted to remember, even if you couldn't."

Uhura nodded in understanding. "And so you kept my dress to remember it. To remember us? As a keepsake?"

Spock nodded.

"Ooh Adun, that's so romantic!" She leaped out of her seat to throw her arms around his neck and kiss his cheek.

Spock returned the hug with a sigh of relief, feeling grateful that his Aduna did not resent his actions. "Romance is illogical," he said.

She pulled her head back to look up at her husband.

"Well, I'm an illogical human woman and I need a bit of romance in my life now and then. So you're just going to have to accommodate me and my illogical needs once in a while. Do you think you can handle that?"

In response, Spock picked her up off her feet and carried her back to their bed placing her down gently before he joined her.

"I believe I can accommodate your needs, my wife," Spock whispered in her ear as he undressed her just as he did the night of the Gorn ball when he stole her uniform, peeling her dress slowly from her body and revealing warm brown skin. Spock didn't have to steal this dress because the woman who wore it already belonged to him and soon enough the uniform was forgotten.

Note: Ever since I wrote A Night To Remember I've wondered what Spock did with Uhura's uniform and why he took it in the first place. In the end, I decided he should just give it back and say 'my bad'. But whenever I start writing for these characters they take off on different tangents and surprise me.