Halfway to Martyrdom
Chapter Seven
Faro left her new fleet behind only after a long bout of protest. What was the point of flying out to the Eleventh Fleet from Coruscant only to be called back two weeks later? Thrawn had holo-ed in for plenty of meetings with the other admirals. She didn't understand why no one was allowed to do the same this time around.
Were it not for all the work she needed to do on the Scylla, Faro might have been excited. Her first meeting as a member of the Admiralty. She was finally one of them. A month ago, the very thought would have made Faro tremble in anticipation.
Too much had happened in the past month for her to celebrate now. Achievements that had once filled Faro with pride now left an empty hole in her chest. Going to the Admiralty meeting wouldn't only cement her own presence among the group. It would reinforce his absence as permanent.
No matter how hard she tried, Faro couldn't avoid thinking about him. Not when she also had personal business to resolve on Coruscant. Thrawn had left her his Coruscant property in his will. Faro had never been there before, and she wanted to see it for herself before making a decision about what to do with it.
Unfortunately, her shuttle landed on Coruscant scant hours before the admiralty meeting began. Faro sent her belongings to her new residence, but she would have to wait to see the place herself. Under no circumstances could she arrive late at the Imperial Palace.
Faro had visited the palace grounds a few times before. Each time in the past had been ceremonial in nature, meant to celebrate a promotion or honor bestowed upon her. Usually alongside other officers, but not always. When Faro had accepted her position as fleet admiral, her ceremony had been short and solitary. More a rushed chore than a true celebration.
Now she was here for work. Faro shut down the nerves threatening to take command of her stomach. A quick glance in the cab droid's mirror told Faro that her powdered mask was impenetrable. The key to meetings such as these was never allowing another person to derail her confidence. As the new member of their group and, more importantly, the cause of a beloved member's downfall, the Admiralty wasn't going to welcome her with open arms. Faro had no clear supporters at this time.
Not that she needed them yet. Far as Faro could see, the Eleventh Fleet had everything they needed to complete their mission objectives. That could change in the future, however. In the short term, Faro didn't need to make friends so much as she needed to avoid enemies. Give them time to come around to her.
She screamed internally at the Coruscant traffic. The planet's traffic was so congested, it could give her a heart attack. Just as Faro believed she was doomed to never reach the palace, her driver stopped at the complex gate. She ran out of the cab as fast as she could without embarrassing herself, flashing her badge and chain code at the guards on duty. They let her in without acknowledgement.
Faro power walked through the main door. She was in such a hurry to her meeting that she nearly missed the cold, familiar voice calling her name.
"Fleet Admiral Faro, please wait. You may walk with me if you fear tardiness."
She froze in her tracks, bracing herself for the verbal assault to come. By the time Grand Moff Tarkin stood by her side, Faro had mentally prepared herself. "Governor Tarkin. My apologies. I did not expect you."
Tarkin resumed walking at Faro's earlier pace. Faro fell in touch with his movements. "I will not be a part of your upcoming meeting, Fleet Admiral. However, I do know where it is. Would you like me to guide you there?"
Faro knew the room number, but it wasn't a part of the palace complex she had ever been to. She would be a fool to reject Tarkin's offer. "If I am not keeping you from your own business, then yes. I would appreciate the assistance."
He smirked. "Good. I see your promotion has not yet stripped you of your humility."
"Humility has nothing to do with it, Governor. I believe practicality would be a better trait to assign here." Faro knew Tarkin well enough to understand he did not respect doormats. Used, yes. Respected, no. Faro would remain submissive to him to the degree it fit the situation. Nothing more. "Practicality is an underrated trait among officers at times."
"You know I agree, Fleet Admiral. It is a pity when the Empire's greatest minds allow their sweeping visions to blind them to basic fundamentals." His face turned severe. "Like loyalty to whom they serve."
Faro's mind flashed to Grand Admiral Savit. "I could not agree more, Governor. One should never forget why they wear the uniform they do. Selfishness has no place in our Imperial service."
"I am relieved to hear you say that, Fleet Admiral. I know the other admirals will be pleased as well. Perhaps even the Emperor himself will hear your words tonight." Tarkin was testing her. That was obvious. Less obvious was the test's objective. Especially when the topic of their discussion swerved. "Could you clarify a rumor for me, Fleet Admiral?"
Faro's brow furrowed. She smoothed it out immediately, hoping Tarkin did not take notice. "I'm afraid I don't partake in much gossip, Governor. I am ignorant of what insight I could provide you."
"It is a simple matter. The rumor involves you, Fleet Admiral." The amount of strength it took not to react to that statement. Faro was not cut out for politics. "I heard the late Grand Admiral Thrawn left you everything he owned in his last will and testament. Is that true?"
Oh. That. Of all the things Tarkin could have asked Faro about, that one was relatively harmless. "He did not will all of his possessions to me, no. I am simply the only beneficiary he has left in the Empire who can collect the inheritance. Imperial law states that in cases such as these, I have the right to claim the entire estate, bar legal challenge."
Tarkin stroked his chin as she spoke. "I am familiar with the law, yes. Thank you for your explanation. I suspect the grand admiral left behind many… oddities for you to consider. They are better off in your hands than others I could name."
Like his art collection, no doubt. Thrawn had once said Faro appreciated art better than any other officer he knew, bar himself. Faro would never mention that detail to Tarkin, but she suspected he had heard it before regardless. "I… my inheritance of that estate comes at a complicated time. I have not had time to examine any of the 'oddities' you describe."
"No, I suppose you have not. If you ever find anything about which you are unsure, you should know you can share it with the Empire. Myself, in particular. Sometimes, we learn the most about someone from the items they leave behind."
Faro grit her teeth. Were they close to the meeting room now? "I will keep your offer in mind, Governor. I am sorry we did not have enough time to converse in full."
Thankfully, Tarkin did halt in front of a door not long after she said that. The number on the door matched the one Faro had been told. "I too regret the brevity of our meeting, Fleet Admiral. You and I have much to discuss." Without waiting for a goodbye, Tarkin walked away. The last thing Faro saw before he turned a corner was a comm rising to the man's razor-thin lips.
Faro refused to let herself worry about Tarkin. She had come here prepared to face the other admirals. Tarkin may be a political heavyweight, but it did no good for his cryptic comments to throw her off her game.
When the door slid open for Faro, she made sure her back stood straight. The other officers' chatter fell silent as she took her place near the foot of the oblong meeting table. She was the only woman in the room, and the youngest by at least a decade. Admiral Versio lowered his comm back into his pocket as he moved to the seat opposite Faro's. As Faro feared, she was the last person to arrive.
"Fleet Admiral Faro. You made it just in time." Grand Admiral Premaro sat at the head of the table, sparse hair white as his suit. He was the first person the emperor had ever honored with the designation of grand admiral. The first and largest fleet reported to him. "We are honored to have you join us in person."
Faro nodded, considering how best to respond. "I am honored to sit among this esteemed body. I did not expect my chance to meet with the rest of the Admiralty to come so soon."
Premaro knew exactly what Faro was getting at. He frowned. "Our schedule cannot always be convenient for everyone. It is a large galaxy, and we are all extremely important officers. Given what we have to discuss, I think everyone will soon realize why we cannot conduct our business over hologram."
Admirals Piett and Tzu shared a glance off to Faro's right. They too wondered why this meeting was mandatory to attend in person, no doubt. Faro scrambled to see what she could remember about each man.
Piett was Vader's main admiral. He lived in constant fear of choking to death. His work must be flawless, then. As for Admiral Tzu… he commanded the Deep Core Reserve Fleet. They never saw real action, and Tzu's flabby appearance confirmed that assertion. While everyone wore their military uniforms to the meeting, Tzu still managed to look the flashiest. Must have been all the hair gel.
"Our first order of business: news of disloyalty in our ranks. I called this meeting in person to ensure no foreign spies could intercept our communications. While the development is tragic, I daresay it did not come as a surprise to anyone in this room."
Faro froze. What was Premaro getting at? She thought the admiralty had loved Grand Admiral Savit. He was a Coruscant cosmopolitan to the core, an expert at navigating military politics. Since when had he developed a whole room of enemies?
"Grand Admiral Thrawn escaped accountability for his actions by dying above Lothal. Regardless, I shall ensure his legacy of playing two sides ends today."
What?!
Every head turned in Faro's direction. She ought to say something. Yet to speak up now… with all these esteemed admirals staring at her… what could she say that wouldn't give her enemies? But if she stayed silent, she would be known as meek. Defenseless. Unable to assert herself, much less lead a fleet into battle.
Versio responded to Premaro while Faro was still composing herself. "I agree wholeheartedly, Grand Admiral. Which is why I must extend gratitude to Fleet Admiral Faro, who reported Thrawn's duplicitous activities to Grand Moff Tarkin. Despite serving as his first officer for many years, she proved herself to our body by putting the Empire first."
Faro nodded, appreciating the chance Versio had given her to gather her wits. "Thank you for your acknowledgement, Grand Admiral. However, I… I cannot wholly accept your praise. The bravery it takes to put the Empire before one's commander is better exemplified by the brave captains of Third Fleet ships. I am alive before you today because those commanders had the fortitude to oppose Savit's blatant treachery."
Winces all around the table. Premaro shifted, searching for a way to regain his verbal footing. "Savit is already facing the consequences of his deeds. We as a body have already taken steps to ensure no one ever tries the same things he did. The treason Thrawn has wrought on our Empire, however, still needs to be corrected by policy.
"I cannot believe this has to be clarified. I hope for the sake of everyone in this room that it is obvious that sharing Imperial knowledge and resources with alien forces is an act of treason. The Empire does not have to be formal enemies with these aliens for collaboration to qualify as criminal. Only recognized allies of the Empire may be treated with anything less than hostility. Even then, they are only to be engaged with on the precise terms dictated by an alliance treaty."
This was what Faro had hoped to avoid by sharing information about the Steadfast with Tarkin. She knew if she didn't report it to someone, Ronan would. If she gave the story to a powerful ally of Thrawn's, they could run damage control. Keep Thrawn's enemies from using this fresh rope to hang him.
Tarkin hadn't done that. Perhaps he didn't care if the Admiralty hung a corpse post-mortem. Faro did, but she couldn't let anyone else in the room know that. It would be best if she never spoke again for this entire meeting.
Unfortunately, Premaro wasn't done with Faro yet. "Fleet Admiral Faro. Your fleet does the most work of any of us in the Unknown Regions. Take this new guidance to heart."
It was a miracle her voice didn't shake when she replied. "Yes, Grand Admiral sir."
"Does everyone at this table support the new guidance?" Unanimous affirmation. As if anyone would think to take an opposing position on this matter in front of all the other admirals.
Faro's throat caught. As the admiralty moved into discussion about if, when, and how they ought to rebuild the Seventh Fleet, her mind reeled from the sheer wrongness she felt for having referred to Premaro by such a name.
Grand Admiral sir. That was the most appropriate way to address Premaro when he gave her a direct order. He may not be her commander, but his special designation by the Emperor still meant he outranked her. Faro showed proper military decorum by acknowledging such a fact.
Still… those three words. For over a year, she had spoken them every day. They existed for her to address one person only. That person… was not Premaro.
That person was no longer alive. Faro bit back a cry. Emotion stabbed the inside of her throat, threatening to strangle her. It was only the presence of other admirals that held her wails inside.
For the millionth time in the past two weeks, Faro forced her emotions to shut down. She didn't know when it would be safe to turn them back on again. Maybe never.
The meeting went on for hours, covering a variety of disparate topics. Aside from the opening discussion, there was no mention of anything encrypted holos could not keep secret. The whole time, Faro did not speak unless spoken to. When addressed, she offered short answers, mostly of the neutral variety. Despite speaking up for her earlier, Versio did not look pleased with her presence across from him. He never took his eyes off her.
When the meeting ended, Admiral Versio caught her on her way out of the palace. Why was it so easy for everyone to catch up to her? "Fleet Admiral Faro. You did well… for your first time."
Faro inhaled sharply. She wasn't in the clear just yet. "Your assistance came at a crucial time, Admiral Versio. To what do I owe the favor?"
"Nothing immediate. Premaro was ready to slaughter you in there. I intercepted him." Versio leaned in conspiratorially. "He was one of the only members of High Command to vote against your promotion to the Eleventh Fleet. He thinks Thrawn's act of treason is worse than Savit's and that you did not do enough to stop it to warrant any reward."
Interesting. Faro would have to remember this… assuming it was true. "What do you think, Admiral Versio?"
Versio smiled patronizingly. "I think you are young and willful. The same way my daughter is. You will make a fine admiral in time."
Yikes. Could be worse, she supposed. "Thank you again, Admiral Versio. I do not wish to keep you all night."
"It is late, I suppose. Farewell, Fleet Admiral. You must have much business to attend to." Unlike Tarkin, Versio had the grace to leave her side before she reached the complex gate. As Faro waited for a new taxi to arrive, she processed the evening's events.
She had been caught off guard. Faro focused too much on the fallout from Savit that she failed to consider how the rest of the admiralty would react to Thrawn's deeds. Her self-imposed ban on Thrawn-related thoughts had led her into a trap.
While Faro had worried about how the rest of the Empire would react, she hadn't thought Thrawn was wrong for cooperating with Admiral Ar'alani. They were pursuing a related goal. Why fight when cooperation would clearly benefit both parties more? They had given the Chiss children to Ar'alani before because the Empire gained nothing from holding alien kids captive. This recent bout of cooperation had been more extensive, but the rationale was the same.
Still… where did it end? At what point did pragmatic cooperation cross the line into treason? Was it before or after one sent Imperial personnel away in secret to work on Ascendancy projects? Faro didn't have an answer to that question yet.
Faro climbed into her new taxi, relieved to see she had gotten a droid driver once again. Posture flew out the window as she flopped down in the back seat, her head tilted towards the cab ceiling. She gave her driver the address of Thrawn's old residence, hoping she could collapse on some bed once she arrived.
She wasn't Thrawn. Faro owed the Chiss Ascendancy nothing. It was not worth her new career to violate Premaro's new directive, not when the Admiralty had approved it unanimously. If the Steadfast entered Imperial space again, Faro would not, could not, render them aid.
Yet it would confuse Ar'alani if Faro attacked her ship with no warning. The Empire had enough on its hands with the rebels. The Chiss Ascendancy stayed busy with its own Grysk conflict. The last thing either of them needed was war between the Empire and the Ascendancy.
Faro had to warn Ar'alani of the new rules. It wasn't treason to tell a foreign military they weren't welcome in Imperial borders. Even Premaro couldn't fault her for telling the Ascendancy to stay away.
The problem lay in setting up the communication. Faro did not have a way of contacting anyone from the Chiss Ascendancy. Thrawn's secret method of getting in touch with Admiral Ar'alani had died with him.
When the taxi let Faro off at the property doorstep, she found her personal items unsecured at the doorstep. Cursing, she fumbled three times with her code cylinder before realizing she was using the wrong one. The property was large, but crowded in between thousands of externally identical residences. While not on the surface of Coruscant, the residence was in a well off part of the planet, a neighborhood where the biggest scandal would be a homeowner's decorating choices. Or, more likely, the fact an alien had dared purchase property here. Why had Thrawn chosen this place?
After several tries, the front door admitted Faro into the threshold. She stumbled into the foyer with her travel bag, triggering a motion activated light. The small entryway was bare, devoid of so much as a carpet.
Thrawn had never lived in his Coruscant property. He told Faro once that he owned it for datawork and excess storage. The property records Faro had examined in connection with his will claimed he had often rented the property to cover maintenance and security costs, but the last tenants (a family of Duros) had moved out voluntarily last month. Thrawn had been too busy to arrange new tenants in the time between their departure and his death.
Faro didn't mind the emptiness. She knew there was one room in the house that Thrawn himself kept furnished. And locked.
She stumbled through the barren living room, up the undecorated stairs, and towards the side bedroom on the left. Two other bedrooms, including the master, led off to the right, but they didn't have any security protecting them from the outside world. The property's layout also suggested those two rooms would have windows. The one she intended to enter did not. Thank stars she knew how to get inside.
The first lock on the door was a retina scanner. Faro stood still for the scanner, struggling not to blink. On the door flashed text from a narrow screen. It read, "hello, Faro."
"Hello," Faro rasped in return. The next lock was voice activated.
The keypad beneath the screen lit up. On the screen itself, the test switched to a question in Cheunh: "Tservsenah veo cavpet ch'aah en'can'sah" Thrawn's documents claimed the translation was "describe your visit's purpose." The script was Aurabesh, transliterated from spoken Cheunh. To anyone not familiar with the Chiss's native language, the screen would appear to be malfunctioning.
Faro wished she could remember the response. She knew what it was in Basic: "to serve my newfound people." She walked back downstairs, pulled her datapad out of her travel bag, then repeated the lock's initial protocols.
Now that she had the answer in front of her, she entered the Cheunh words carefully, determined not to misspell any words. "Ch'at raszah ch'eo tut'ut cat ch'itt'suvrecah."
The screen flashed green. Correct answer.
Next question, this one in Sy Bisti. It asked, "why do you take Thrawn's place?"
Faro bit her lip. She knew what she had to input for the correct answer, but it hurt to type. One Basic word. Five Aurabesh letters. Her fingers trembled. "Death."
The door slid open. Faro had five seconds to enter the room before the door closed again. She rushed inside, panting as the door trapped her inside.
No motion activated lights in this room. Faro fumbled around the wall for a button, finding it to the immediate left of the door. When she saw the contents of the room, she bit back an exclamation.
The bed she craved was a fold out cot, easily the least interesting part of the room. Any art piece Thrawn liked but lacked the room to keep on his ship was here. On a counter sat a twenty centimeter tall statue from Kohmbra. Faro's home planet. The brightest light in the room hung directly above the statue, giving the sculpture a spotlight effect.
Faro would recognize the figurine anywhere. It was on Faro's recommendation that Thrawn had bought this work. Thrawn had referenced the sculpture by name in his will, even suggesting Faro display it on her own ship. Lady Vonliss.
In that moment, the bottled-up tears Faro had been carrying with her all day overflowed. She fell to her knees before the Honored Lady, chest heaving. The busy metropolis outside came to a standstill as Faro's emotions spewed out of her in the forms of water, sound, and snot. Time itself stopped as Faro collapsed beneath the weight of her new world.
She would never be the warrior Lady Vonliss was. She didn't have what it takes to stand her ground before an Inquisition of men convinced she would never belong. At least Lady Vonliss had been able to rely on a loyal crew. Faro's crew was unfamiliar with her at best, hostile to her at worst.
And her last crew… the crew Faro had loved. The crew she had served with longer than any. All of them were gone. Years of memories with only Faro to preserve them. She was far from a worthy vessel to hold their legacy. No wonder the rest of the Empire could malign their name so successfully.
Thrawn was gone. The greatest strategic genius to ever bless this side of the galaxy was gone. The Empire was lost without him. He was their greatest admiral, the greatest mentor… the greatest lover Faro had ever had the audacity to keep a secret.
She'd had to hide their relationship. Anyone who knew Faro had been in love with her commander would, at best, pity her. At worst, they would believe she had schemed her way into an admiral's plaque instead of earning it. Faro already despised the men who advanced thanks to political gambits. She would feel worse about herself if a more scandalous story was spun about her.
She had once thought she would be able to love Thrawn openly one day. Now, he floated out of love's reach in a cold, empty vacuum of a grave. The same place the truth of their relationship would go when Faro's life followed his.
No one understood the full weight of her grief. Not even Faro herself. There was nowhere to turn, no one to confide in. Any Imperial communication could be monitored. By the order of High Command, she had to fill her new position with strength. The Empire wanted her to be unaffected by her loss.
But how could she? How could she let go of the people who had made her work possible every day for years? Who had made the soldier's life worth living?
The only person who even might understand the weight of her troubles was Eli Vanto. An Ascendancy soldier Faro was now banned from collaborating with. Confiding in him had different risks than other options, but those risks were just as dire.
Her sobs grew weaker as strength seeped from her body. Soon, Faro was less heaving than shuddering. She breathed in quick, desperate gasps. The room smelled like dust and Thrawn, making it even harder to breathe.
Forcing herself to her feet, then took hold of Lady Vonliss at the soldier's waist. She was coming back with Faro. As she searched for a container she could use to stow the statue in her bag, she noticed something odd about the statue's base. A compartment.
But… the original sculpture had no compartment. No one would dare install one on a valuable piece of art. Was this a replica? It looked so real to Faro's glassy eyes.
She pried at the statue's base, relying on her fingernails to access the secret compartment. After a minute of mindless struggling, the compartment cover flew off. A small, rectangular device fell to the ground.
Faro picked the device up, holding it up to the light to study. She recognized it. It wasn't any piece of Imperial technology, but she recognized it nonetheless.
A Chiss comm.
A/N's: Hope no one is surprised this is a Thraro fic. I did seriously consider keeping it Gen, but I think the plot is better served this way. Also, I have been building up this "reveal" in the background for a few chapters now. But just as this detail steps out of the shadows, new machinations move into the background to take its place. I wonder who will notice them. (Hint: I used MyRPG Coruscant translator for the Cheunh password. Check it out.)
Also, though it's not required for you to understand this fic, I consider my other fic "Death Wishes" to take place in the same universe as this fic. If you liked reading Faro grief here, you may also enjoy her grief there. (Wow, that's a fucked up thing to say.)
Anyway, I'm off to write She-Ra fluff now. This chapter was emotionally heavy for me. The next chapter of HtM has feels to it too, but none as severe as grief. Hope you enjoyed!