A/N: So, the pandemic, huh? I know a lot has happened. I've been to Italy, stayed there for eight months, and am back home now. Depression, heartbreak, and deaths later, I bring you the next instalment of Cold, hoping you are all doing well and are still interested. Hope you enjoy.
And I was thinking to myself this could be heaven or this could be hell.
Eagles, "Hotel California"
11
Naming the base Mavis Camp was maybe a bit on the nose, but also fitting, especially for a Fiorian construction. Gray smiled to himself as Erza grabbed him and Luca and led them inside.
"If you saw the video we released, this building serves as the research station as well as our living quarters," she was telling them. "We were in the process of installing a heating system. Whoever inhabits the camp next will not have the advantage of living with Natsu."
Oh. Right. They're here, too.
He'd forgotten all about that. Forgotten all about them. So stupidly happy he was at finally meeting Erza, the others had slipped his mind completely.
"Yeah," Gray muttered under his breath, suddenly not so thrilled to be there. He stopped, making her stop, too. "Erza, where are the others?"
She smiled apologetically. "Ah, yes. I should have realised that you would want to meet them first."
What. "No! That's not-"
But it was too late.
"Natsu! Wendy!" Erza hollered, making him jump. "Come out and meet Gray!"
Gray stared disbelievingly at Erza, not knowing whether to laugh or cry. How could she be so... so... dense? And so effective a leader at the same time?
"While he's meeting his friends, why donchu show me around the place?" Luca suggested to Erza and started hauling her off to another room. "I'm sure he needs the privacy."
"Very wisely said, Luca. Yes, I agree. Come, I shall show you the equipment room."
"Hey, wait a second!" Gray tried protesting again, but by then Luca had successfully whisked Erza away. All he got from the boy was a stealthy thumbs up over his shoulder as he disappeared into the next room. "God, I hate that kid!"
But hating him wouldn't solve the problem. Gray rubbed the back of his head. Looked around the room. It was very sparsely furnished. Very sparsely. A rack for clothes, a square table with four chairs, a shoe rack with four brushes, and curtains to cover the windows. Enough to work with. Definitely enough.
He walked up to the window, wondering when they would start taking all the food and equipment inside. The dogs were sitting on the snow obediently, not moving an inch. The wind had picked up outside. Snow swirls slapped the dogs and had started covering them up. Pretty soon, they would be buried under.
Shoulda brought the things inside first.
He was grateful for learning dynamic ice make when he had. Bringing an actual dog team would have been a far more risky and expensive venture. It was part of the reason why everything had gone so smoothly for Laxus. Everyone in Crocus knew that an ice mage could make the trip with a quarter of what it would otherwise cost.
Everything was politics.
But, even if the dogs were made of ice and weren't sentient, they were born from his magic. They were a part of him, an extension of his soul. He couldn't let them sit outside while conditions plummeted.
"Um, Gray?"
With his hand on the door handle, Gray paused. The breath he took was involuntary. It was a familiar voice. One he had missed dearly. Yet, his heart hammered violently into his chest regardless.
Slowly, wearily, Gray turned. He spun on his heel, hating how much he was expecting this to go well. Hating himself for having expectations at all.
But he hated himself most for greeting Wendy with a smile he knew wasn't genuine.
"I know that face," he said, feeling more and more phony with every word he spent. "You've grown."
At least he didn't lie. The young woman standing before him had very recently crossed the threshold into womanhood, unlike the little girl he remembered. She was taller, as tall as Erza. The baby fat was gone from her face, revealing angular jaws and sharp cheekbones. Age had made her a beauty, but the child he knew once was recognisable through it all. The one thing that hadn't changed were her eyes. She still cried the same way.
Wendy's hand had stopped midway to her mouth when he'd spoken, and she stood there, a woman now in her twenties, with tears streaking down her cheeks.
"It's you," she whispered, taking a step closer. "It really is you..."
With Wendy, there was nothing phony. Nothing at all. She'd always worn her heart on her sleeve. That gave him strength. Strength enough to not shy away from her touch.
"Yeah," Gray replied as Wendy held his hands, then placed her palms on his chest, biting her bottom lip. Her tears didn't cease even for a second. Gray patted her shoulder. "It really is me. I'm here."
It was then that she buried her face in his chest. Her hands fisted the fabric of his anorak and she burrowed her forehead into it. Sobs wracked her petite frame and, despite her age, she felt like a little girl again when Gray wrapped his arms around her. A little girl just seeking some warmth.
"Hey, hey, hey, it's okay, don't cry," Gray whispered, but that didn't help much. Wendy cried without dignity. Without shame. Without a care in the world, she showed her grief and her remorse. Every hitch in her breath, every tremble of her shoulder, every little mewl and hiccup felt like a blow against his chest. It winded him. This torrential outpouring of emotion left him gasping for air.
He wasn't prepared for this. Not at all prepared. She didn't stop, didn't slow down. Nothing he did worked. He rubbed her back. Stroked her hair. Whispered reassurances. He couldn't make her stop. Instead, Gray had to close his eyes lest he himself be overcome. He couldn't break now. Couldn't. For Wendy. She needed him.
Finally, he forsook all his efforts to allay her tempestuous grief and just held her. Held her as tight as he could. He held her and listened to everything she threw his way. This was worse than abuse. Worse than remonstrance. Than anger. This was primal emotion. She cared. Cared and loved without pretence. And he had made her sad. He didn't know how to cope with that.
This was someone who at one time Gray would have killed for. Someone who had given him nothing but unconditional love and support for as long as he'd known her. To watch her break down so badly broke whatever remained of his heart.
Finally, after a few minutes, Wendy stopped. She straightened, still sniffing, and wiped her eyelashes. Gray cupped her cheeks and thumbed away the lingering tearstains.
"That's the best welcome I've ever received," he tried, and was rewarded with a laugh. Gray wiped her eyelids with his sleeves. "Here, lemme take a good look at you."
Wendy raised her face and smiled. "It's good to see you, too."
Gray smiled back. Cupped her cheeks again and squished them together.
"Your fish face hasn't changed," he replied as she wriggled out of his grasp. "But you've really grown." A sigh. "You've grown up, huh."
Saying it made him sad. Judging from how Wendy's smile fell, she could sense it. She opened her mouth to say something, but Gray cut her off by placing his hand atop the hood of her anorak and patting her like an alarm clock.
"You've gotten pretty tall, too," he remarked. "What're you, twenty now?"
"Nineteen," the girl answered. Her eyes were closed. If her smile was anything to go by, she enjoyed the pats. "I had a growth spurt."
Humming, Gray rubbed the top of her head over the hood. "We got a lot of catching up to do."
"That'd be great!"
Movement in the corner of his eye. Gray's eyes followed immediately and were arrested by the familiar spiky pink hair of one Natsu Dragneel, who had just entered the room. A small, polite smile played along his lips. Wendy must have heard him come in because she stepped aside for Gray to go past her.
And go Gray did. He took measured steps forward, Natsu mirroring his movements, until they met in the middle of the room. All the while, his eyes didn't leave Natsu's. He searched for something in them, anything to give him a measure of the man his old rival had become, but the only thing he read in them was doubt and anxiety.
Gray held out his hand, and Natsu shook it. Didn't clasp it, just shook it. It was firm and short. Formal. Polite. It was good enough for Gray. But then Natsu spread his arms and put them over and under his shoulders for a stiff hug. It surprised Gray, this gesture of good faith, but he returned it. It felt good.
They clapped each other on the back and stepped away. Gray looked him up and down momentarily. His hair had grown a little bit. Enough to tickle the back of his neck. There was a new scar above his left eyebrow. Other than that, he couldn't find anything new.
Evidently, Natsu was done checking him out, too, because he said, "It's good to see you."
"Yeah, you too." A pause. "Congrats on getting married."
Natsu's smile broadened. He nodded. "Yeah, we got your flowers. How about you? What's up on your mountain?"
"Nothing new, really. Snowstorms. Alpine disasters. Avalanches." He shrugged. "How's Lucy?"
Natsu looked over his shoulder reflexively. Then sighed. "She's... uh, come see for yourself?"
Gray blinked. "Is she okay? Something wrong?"
"Not yet," Natsu replied as he turned. "C'mon. She wanted to be on her feet to meet you."
On her feet? The fuck happened?
Suddenly wary, Gray glanced back at Wendy. "Is-"
"She's completely fine, don't worry." Wendy grinned. "Go on! She's been waiting to meet you for days!"
"If you say so," Gray muttered under his breath and went out of the main hall in pursuit of Natsu. He followed him down a short corridor before Natsu disappeared into a door to the left.
So far, things seemed to be going well. Natsu had been stiff, but that was to be expected. Hopefully, Lucy would be better. Wendy did say she'd been waiting. There must have been some anticipation, then.
Hopefully.
He paused outside the door, wondering what he should expect. Lucy was the sanest one in the guild. They'd always been good friends. If she was frosty, that would hurt.
You knew this would be a possibility. You said you'd face the consequences. Now go inside and do it.
Taking a deep breath, he knocked on the open door to announce his presence and stepped inside.
It seemed like the team's sleeping quarters. Two bunk beds on opposite sides of the room. A few posters. Radio equipment on a table. Couple of cupboards. Sparse and functional, just like the other room.
And in the middle, supported by Natsu, stood Lucy. Her blonde hair was cut short, the fringes curling under her chin. She shot him a sparklingly bright smile as soon as she saw him.
"Gray!" she exclaimed. "Took you long enough! How was your trip?"
Gray did not respond. For the second time since he'd set foot inside the camp his tongue refused to form words. He gaped, stunned, at his old friend. He could only point in response.
Lucy, seeing his reaction, chuckled nervously.
"Yeah, about that." She looked down and rubbed her protruding belly. "You're going to be an uncle." She then laughed uncertainly and looked back at him. "Umm. Surprise?"
"The condom broke," Natsu explained succinctly with a nod.
Lucy slapped his shoulder and frowned across the table at Gray. "As you can see, it can't really be blamed on anyone."
"Those things only work ninety-five percent of the time, anyway," Natsu replied and sunk into his chair. "Besides, I hated 'em."
Gray, standing in the middle of the room, pinched his eyelids. Erza and Wendy didn't add anything to the discussion. He'd gotten them all together to discuss the situation, but they seemed rather relaxed about it.
"Is that true?" Luca asked in Isvali, and Gray turned towards him. The boy was leaning against the doorframe. "About condoms working ninety-five percent of the time?"
"No," Gray replied in his language reflexively. "They print it on the box, but it's more like eighty percent."
"Oh, dear God."
Grunting at his student's panic, Gray looked around the room at his former teammates. They were all looking at him steadily, waiting for his response. So, he sighed and gave it.
"Can you contact the 'Dreadnought'? They can't have gone far. It's still light out, and by the time they backtrack, I'm confident I can pull you guys outta here."
He looked around the room, hoping to see some urgency. All he got was silence. Instead of responding, they looked amongst themselves, a small, grim smile on their faces. Finally, after a small nod to each of them, Erza looked at him.
"We are not leaving, Gray," she said.
Gray felt his stomach drop. "Come again?"
"We know you can extract us, and we know you want the best for us and trust you," Wendy chimed in, "but we decided to stay and complete our mission."
"Yeah. The rations you brought us will see us through the winter no problem." Lucy pumped her fist. "We've considered the options. I've considered the options. As long as the baby isn't exposed to the elements, it'll be completely safe in here." She smiled at Gray. "Besides, I have a month to go till my due date. You can advise us on how to go about it."
Gray wet his lips. "You're eight months pregnant, and you wanna give birth on the South Pole?" he asked, just to make sure. "Despite living here and knowing what it's like?"
"Yes," Lucy replied, holding his gaze. "I do. It'll be easier to extract a one year old than an infant, or a lady a month away from bursting."
She smiled, but Gray didn't see what was so funny. The South Pole was the coldest, harshest place on the planet. It was not somewhere kids should be brought into the world.
"I can handle the delivery," Wendy declared. "I've had lots of experience doing that over the years."
"Yeah, don't worry about it." Natsu leant back and interlaced his fingers behind his head. "We talked it over."
Gray stewed in silence. This was not ideal. Far from it, but Lucy was the one giving birth. If she was okay with it, what could he say? They'd been there for a year. They knew better than him the ins and outs of the place. He couldn't overrule them, either. It was a decision they'd considered very carefully, he was sure.
How do I rescue people who don't wanna be rescued?
What got to him, however, was realising that he wasn't really a part of the decision-making process anymore. The way they sat, together, around the same table, while he stood apart from them was telling. Like Lucy had said, he was an advisor now. Accepting or ignoring his advice was up to them.
He shook his head as realisation hit. Why am I even here? If they thought they could sit it out and survive, why hadn't they just said so? What am I, a delivery boy?
Sighing, he glanced at Luca, who shrugged his shoulders.
"I'll start unloading the cargo," he said in Isvali and disappeared down the hallway. Evidently, he was okay with the situation. Gray's shoulders sagged.
"We're gonna get the rations inside," he told them. "If one of you could show us where to put it all, that'd be great."
"I'll help," Wendy said and got up. She then shot Natsu a look, who rose to his feet as well. "We'll help."
Gray thanked them, though his heart wasn't in it. He didn't know what they were thinking, any of them, but he supposed it wasn't any of his business anymore.
Outside, Luca had already started unstrapping and unloading the crates of food. Gray joined him.
"You okay?" he asked.
The boy nodded. "So far so good. You?"
"Same boat as you."
They unloaded the crates and took turns taking them inside. Foodstuffs went to the store room, while scientific equipment was taken into the main building.
"What do you think about this whole giving birth business?" Gray asked Luca in Isvali while undoing the tarp on the second sled. "I thought it'd make them more eager to leave."
"Their decision, Gray. All we can do is make sure they survive."
"You're okay with that?"
"I can't do anything else."
Good point, Gray thought, handing over a small box of coffee beans to Wendy. The wind was dead, so they could talk. He could never tell when the weather would take a turn. Not one to risk it, Gray nudged Luca into speeding up the process.
Erza kept track of inventory as they worked, walking around with a clipboard and noting things down. Gray eyed her, but said nothing. He would get no peace until he talked to her about the whole situation.
It took them a good couple of hours to put everything away. Natsu said that he could smell lunch and went inside, Wendy in tow. Luca looked at Gray.
"What's lunch gonna look like?"
"Probably a bar of chocolate."
"Fun. You coming?"
Humming, Gray looked around. Found Erza entering the storeroom with her clipboard. "I'll catch up. I need to talk to her for a bit."
Luca glanced from his face to the storeroom. Then he shrugged. "Go ahead. I'll wait."
"You can go-"
"I'll wait."
Gray blinked. Luca had set his jaw. He really didn't want to go in without him. Didn't want to be alone around them. Gray nodded to himself.
"Okay. Make an igloo out here, then. They don't have room for us inside, so we'll sleep out." He pointed. "Make it near the toilet so we can go if we have to without getting lost in a blizzard."
The boy's expression changed completely. He actually grinned now that he had something to do and saluted Gray. "Will do, boss! On it right now! You go and flirt the crap outta her!"
"I'm not-" Gray began but stopped himself. There was no point. Luca wouldn't stop being a dumbass. It was terminal, his sickness. Instead, he shook his head. "Just don't make it too small or large, yeah?"
"You can trust me!" the boy replied as he hopped over to survey the building site. "Now shoo."
Not bothering to grace that with a reply, Gray started trudging towards the storehouse. It was almost as large as the living quarters, and the inside was lined with shelves. Everything from clothes to food and spare parts to utensils, everything had its separate rack. It was all labelled, too. To Gray, it seemed like he'd walked into a polar expedition equipment store.
And walking amidst all the supplies, checking and counting, was Erza. She smiled and waved him over when she saw him.
"Lucy's pregnancy," she began when he was close. "It bothers you."
Gray chuckled. It was just like Erza to launch into a topic without preamble. "It bothers me that you guys won't leave, knowing that you can put the baby in danger."
"Understandable." Nodding, she knelt and counted the number of tins of... something on the bottom shelf. "I must admit, I, too, wanted to leave as soon as possible when I found out. I asked for an extraction over the radio."
"What changed your mind?"
Erza sighed. "I came here to do a job, Gray. I was... angry that they would risk its completion like this. However, Lucy and Natsu assured me that they were going to see it out to the end."
"Erza..." Gray scratched his cheek. "What'd you expect them to say? They didn't wanna disappoint you. Or the people back in Fiore. Don't you think the kid deserves to be born somewhere safe? Around people you all know and love?"
"The baby will be born surrounded by people who know and love it," Erza replied, looking up at him. "Am I wrong?"
Gray pinched the bridge of his nose. "You know that's not what I mean."
Silence. Then she stood up and moved on to the next shelf. "I know. And I know you're worried, but we've made our decision. We are in constant contact with Fiore, so they all know and understand." She nodded to herself. "I appreciate your concern, Gray. I do. But we're all staying. I know this is not the outcome you had hoped for, but I hope you'll help us regardless."
Gray stood there, trying to comprehend what was more important than the life of Natsu and Lucy's child. The mission? Hadn't they already finished what they were there to do?
"Erza?" he asked carefully. "You trust me, right? About the environment and what our course of action should be?"
"I do." She nodded. "But we can't leave."
"Okay. How about this." He stepped closer. "How about we finish two or three things that's at the very top of your to-do list, and then leave?" He paused. "I don't want the kid's first few months in this world to be surrounded by darkness and freezing cold." Another, more strategic pause. "Do you?"
"Of course not!" Erza hissed. "You think I want this?" She turned towards him, brows drawn. "I insisted they go back as soon as I found out. Wendy and I could've managed. That was the plan until the 'Nebula' sank." She sighed and closed her eyes. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap."
Gray waved it off. "You've been here for a year. Close proximity makes everyone snappish. Don't worry about it."
"Thanks." Erza offered him a smile. Then she placed her hands on her hips and exhaled a long, deep breath. "I shall think upon your suggestion. I'll have to consult them, too."
"Hey, that's okay. If there wasn't a baby on the way, I wouldn't push it so much."
"I know, Gray. I know." She reached out and squeezed his wrist. "Thank you."
He looked down at her hand, then at her smiling face. Nodded.
"I didn't mean to question your decision," he offered. "All things considered, you've done a great job. It's not easy to manage all of them. Especially down here. No injuries, no incidents, and you even managed to finish construction before schedule." He smiled back. "You did great, Erza."
She laughed. "It will be easier now that you're here, Gray."
"We'll see. You gonna take long? Lunch is being served, or so I hear."
"Hmm. Yes, I'll take a while. I need to double check everything." She held up the clipboard. "You go ahead. You have had a long journey. I'm sure you're hungry. I'll join you when I'm done."
"Sure. See ya soon."
Leaving her to finish up her work, Gray stepped outside. The weather was still fair, which was good. He hoped it stayed that way. Across from him, he saw a half-formed igloo. Luca was still at work, but he called the boy over to go to lunch.
"You guys make out?" Luca asked as soon as he ran up to him. Gray just whacked him upside the head.
Inside, much to his surprise, it wasn't a bar of chocolate for lunch.
"It's stew," Wendy explained. "Made from precooked meat and lard. It's called-"
"Hoosh," Gray replied, digging in. "I know. Make it with melted snow?"
"Yep!"
"Mhmm. Tastes authentic." He smiled and looked around the table. "Now tell me what all you've been up to on this trip."
And they told him, all right. Lucy told him about how Natsu had fallen through the ice as soon he got off the ship, how he had tried to eat an icicle and ended up with a bloody tongue, how he'd been almost unconscious all throughout their journey across the storm belt.
Midway through the spiel, Erza came in and joined the others at the table. She seemed a bit surprised at the hoosh, but Natsu allayed her easily.
"We've got meat to spare now."
Gray wanted to ask about that, but Lucy spoke up before he could.
"Sorry you guys had to do all that unloading on your own," she said. "I wanted to summon Taurus to help you out, but using magic can affect the baby. I don't wanna risk that."
"It's okay. Don't worry about it." Gray glanced at Erza, wondering whether he should bring it up again, but she was busy with her food. He hummed. "So, how'd ya find out about, y'know, the kid?"
"It was actually Natsu and Wendy who found out first. Super hearing and all that."
Natsu nodded. "I was kinda freaked out when I heard two heartbeats from her, not gonna lie. Wendy realised what it was. She's gotten real good as a medic."
"It is why I take her along with me on exploratory walks," Erza said. "Unfortunately, that meant leaving these two alone to mate."
Neither Natsu nor Lucy commented on that, instead focusing on their food. Even now, married with a child on the way, Gray detected a faint blush colouring Lucy's cheeks. He chuckled. If she had enough blood to blush, she was probably all right.
"You guy think of any names yet?" he asked.
"Nah. I'll leave it up to the girls." Natsu swallowed the last bit of his meat. "I got a solid nickname, though."
"Yeah?"
"CBK."
Gray narrowed his kids. "CBK?" He thought about it. "Condom Break Kid?"
"Bingo."
Snorting into his spoonful, Gray shook his head. "Why are you the way that you are?"
"What? It's a cool nam–oh ow ow ow! Hey! Cut it out, Lucy! It was a joke! A joke! You'll break my toes!"
Gray smirked. Whatever happened under the table was not his business. Ignoring Lucy's righteous fury, he turned towards Luca. The boy had been silent all through lunch, and he was almost done. Gray bumped him with a shoulder.
"You like the food?"
Luca nodded. He then put the bowl to his lips and drank up all the soup.
"It was good," he muttered his reply and got up. "I'll go finish up the igloo."
Gray didn't say anything. As Luca left the base, he continued eating. The others had fallen quiet, and he didn't feel it in himself to come to their rescue. He wasn't used to eating in silence, but made an exception. They needed to feel awkward, too.
When everyone was done, Gray decided to do the dishes. Wendy had taken Lucy to do a few check-ups and Erza decided to take a little nap. With them out of the way, there was nobody to stop him from doing some chores. His day felt incomplete otherwise.
"Got a minute?" he asked Natsu, who stopped staring blankly at the ceiling. When he looked over, Gray pointed to all the bowls and spoons. "Help me clean up?"
"Oh. Yeah, sure." Stretching, Natsu left his chair. "The cleaning bucket and soap's in the kitchen. I'll show you."
"Lead the way."
Luca was putting finishing touches on the outside of the igloo. He didn't look up from his work as Gray and Natsu walked over to the kitchen. Once inside, Natsu pointed to a large, steel bucket.
"We put snow in that and melt it, usually. Think you can handle that?"
"Sure." Putting the bowls down on the dining table, Gray moulded his magic and half-filled the bucket with loose chunks of ice. "All yours."
Natsu hummed and stepped up. He squatted and placed his palms on the outer surface of the bucket and slowly heated it up. Before long, the bucket was filled with lukewarm water. Gray had already brought the bottle of camping soap and a couple of cleaning rags. He handed one to Natsu and dipped a bowl into the water.
They worked in silence a while, rinsing and soaping the bowls and cutlery. Unbreakable plastic stuff. Didn't need much maintenance. Still, Gray scrubbed as thoroughly as he could.
He glanced at Natsu now and again. Felt a few looks thrown his way, too. Gray knew very well the thoughts running through the dolt's head – he was scrambling to make conversation. Little did he know that Gray had no idea what to say either.
In the few hours that he'd been at the camp, the only person who'd talked less than Natsu was Luca. The boy had his reasons, he knew, but Gray didn't want to leave things the way they were between him and his old crew.
But that won't happen unless you open your goddamn mouth! You're runnin' outta dishes for fuck's sake!
The more he thought about wanting to talk, the less he found things to talk about. Talking to Natsu had always been easy – he would merely respond to his dumbassery, and then they'd fight. Interpersonal communication 101. Things had been simple back then. Now, it felt like trying to dig a hole with his nose.
In the end, it was Natsu that broke the silence. Without looking up from the dishwashing, he asked, "So the kid's pretty much grown up, huh?"
"You'd think," Gray replied, happy to have something to say. "But he only grows taller. Brainpower, not so much."
Natsu hummed. "You talk about us?"
Gray glanced at him. "No. Not really." He shrugged. "We don't talk about it a whole lot."
"Ahh. Well. He seems awkward around us."
"Wouldn't you be?"
Natsu sighed. "Yeah, sure. Just... ehh. Never mind."
"He decided to come himself," Gray added. "I didn't want him to. It was his decision."
Shaking the water off his fingertips, Natsu turned away and wiped his hands on his pants. "Let's not get into this, all right?" He sounded tired. "I appreciate that you came. It's good to see you, too. I don't wanna ruin it."
After a beat of silence, Gray nodded. "I don't wanna ruin this, either." He set the dishcloth down and held out his fist. "We good? For now?"
Natsu looked back over his shoulder. Saw the outstretched fist and smiled. "Yeah, man," he replied, bumping it with his own. "We're good for now."
As he heard those words, a breath crawled up his throat and escaped his lips. Gray felt his chest compress, his shoulders unstiffen. A coolness spread down his spine, spreading very slowly to his extremities.
For the first time since Gray made the decision to leave for the Pole, he relaxed. The fistbump, though a simple gesture, communicated something far more significant. A sign of trust. Of belonging. Familiarity. And it made Gray's heart swell with happiness.
"Thanks," he told his old friend. Though his voice cracked at the end, he couldn't stop his smile.
Natsu snorted and turned away. "Geez, don't make it weird. C'mon, let's go back. I need some shut-eye."
"You go ahead," Gray replied as they left the kitchen. He jerked his chin towards the igloo. "I gotta talk to the kid."
"Hmm." Natsu shrugged while locking up the door. "Sure thing. See you guys soon."
With a parting wave over his shoulder, Natsu went back into the main building. Gray waited a beat before heading off towards Luca, who was sitting atop the dome.
He waved at Gray as he neared and pointed at the horizon. "Those mountains are tall, huh."
Gray stopped and turned to look. From a distance, the mountain range looked like an imposing wall. They looked about as tall as the mountains in Isvan. If not a bit taller.
"Rock climbing wasn't in the itinerary," Gray told the boy. "Now come on down. Let's see what you made."
"Yeah, yeah." Luca slid down the slope of the dome all the way to the ground. "The mountains are callin' to you too and you know it."
Instead of commenting, Gray crawled into the igloo which would be their home for the next few months. It was a solid construction – thick walls, roomy dome. Large enough for three people to sleep in. The floor was solid ice. He would have to cover it up with rugs, but other than that, Gray was happy. That he could stand up straight was a bonus.
"Good job," he told the boy and clapped his shoulder. "Now let's get our stuff in here and make it a bit more habitable, yeah?"
"Right behind ya, boss."
And for the next hour, they did just that. Gray had been dead against bringing too many personal belongings to the Pole – the lighter the better – but the interior of the igloo was too barebones. Even for him. A small ice stool to eat on and keep their lotions and bottles and an ice rack to keep shoes and bundled up anoraks completed their amateur attempts at interior decoration. After that, there was just enough space for two sleeping bags lying down lengthwise.
"Comfy," Luca said, squatting on the rugs and looking about the igloo. "Might make it more homely if I stuck up a poster or two. Whaddaya think?"
"You brought posters?"
"No, but I brought... this!" Rummaging through his rucksack, Luca pulled out a small, foldable picture frame. When he opened it, Gray saw that it contained a photograph of him and Heidi – the girl being hugged from behind and lifted slightly off her feet. Both were laughing – not looking at the camera at all. There was a green meadow behind them, abloom with lilies. "No cell reception, right?"
"Sorry, kiddo," Gray replied, smiling at the photo. Luca was a total sap when it came to Adelheid. "You could ask Erza if she can send a radio message, though. If you wanted to tell her something."
"Nah." Luca set the photo frame on the rug, beside his sleeping bag. "She already knows everything I'd say."
Right there, in that moment, sitting cross-legged on a thick rug at the edge of the known world, Gray was struck dumb by a seventeen-year-old. Sure, Luca blabbed. He did that a lot. But that also meant he left very little unsaid.
How incredibly freeing it must be, Gray wondered, to not clutch words tightly to one's bosom. To let it all out, to live without withholding anything, to treat every conversation like the last ever one with that person. It was such a brave, bold choice – something he knew he didn't have to courage to do.
"Sometimes," Gray muttered, "I dunno whether I'm supposed'ta teach or learn."
Luca looked back. "Hmm?"
"Nothing." Gray shook his head, smiling. "You wanna go for a walk?"
"Abso-fuckin-lutely!"
It was nothing short of a miracle that the weather was still fine. The sun was shining brightly, the skies were clear and there were no winds to speak of. As Gray stood facing the mountains, he whistled to himself. "Kinda wish we had howling winds."
"Why'd you say that?"
"At least there'd be something to listen to."
From the way Luca's eyes widened, Gray could tell that it hadn't hit him until that moment how, other than the sound of breathing and of snow crunching underfoot, the south pole was utterly devoid of sound.
White silence. That was the term. All the sounds of the world were frozen here. The place was unsettling not just in its sheer unknowable expanse, but also its alien-ness. There was no life. It was so cold, not even the common cold virus could survive.
"Can't believe it's mile after mile of nothingness," Luca commented as they walked past the base camp. "Gotta be somethin' more, right? Makes no sense otherwise."
Gray glanced at the boy walking beside him, hummed, and turned his gaze towards the mountains. "Luca, I'm gonna tell you something that I want you to remember. It applies to every situation you're gonna encounter from now on. It's gonna be hard to accept, but it's true nonetheless."
"Okay. Tell me."
"Mmm. The world's under no obligation to make sense to you," Gray told his pupil and paused briefly, letting the idea burrow into the boy's skull. "The more you try to force logic on it, the more it'll find creative ways to give you the finger."
"So, what, we shouldn't look for answers?"
"Not at all. Just make sure you try to fit theories to facts instead of bending facts to suit your theories. The world is stranger than you can imagine, anyway." Gray pocketed his hands. "So, take what you can as you go along."
Luca didn't reply. Gray let him mull it over as they circled Mavis Camp and ended up back at the igloo. Only now, Erza, in full gear, was standing there. She waved them over.
"I have been waiting for you," she said when they reached her. "Can you get one of your dogsleds ready?"
"We goin' somewhere?" Gray asked.
Erza nodded. "I wanted to show you and Luca something. Don't worry, we shall be back in time for supper."
"Oh, heck to the yes!" Sombre reflections forgotten, Luca ran to get the dogs immediately. "Be right back!"
"His enthusiasm never ceases to amaze me," Erza remarked, watching the boy go. "I hope he never changes."
"I hope he does. You don't have to live with... that."
She tilted her head, shooting him an amused look. "I grew up with you."
Gray grimaced. "I wasn't that bad."
"Indeed. Not at all."
"Not at seventeen, at least."
"Hmm." Erza pursed her lips thoughtfully. "I shall give you that. But the resemblance in behaviour is uncanny."
By then, Luca had ridden up to them in one of the sleds and Gray, grumbling under his breath, stepped onto the runners. Luca looked at him curiously and, when Erza joined him, asked, "What bit him?"
"Oh, we were reminiscing. Did you know what Gray called himself when we first met?"
"No, he never tells me kiddie stories! Tell, tell!"
"Which way we goin'?" Gray interrupted with a bark, causing them both to snicker. Apparently, his dignity wasn't a cause for concern.
"Straight ahead," Erza told him, still smiling, and pointed. "We drove stakes into the ice along the path, so it is hard to miss."
It was true. There were two wooden poles some eight feet tall planted opposite each other, forming a sort of gateway. After that, every hundred feet or so, there was another similar gate-like structure. It created a makeshift highway about ten feet wide. Looking back, Gray could see that the poles were lined up perfectly. A straight shot from the camp. No chance of getting lost – at least in good weather.
"Say, Auntie Erza, I got a question."
"I might have an answer. What is it?"
"How'd you get down that ice wall back there?" Luca jerked his thumb over his shoulder, pointing to the direction from which they'd come. "There's no inclination at all!"
"Oh that? We skied down. It didn't take a lot of time."
She gave the answer so nonchalantly that even Gray, who knew full well the insanity of Fairy Tail mages, was taken aback. Luca stared at Erza for a moment, his eyes nearly bulging out of their sockets, before turning to Gray and mouthing, What the fuck?
Gray had to laugh. "Like I said, the world is under no obligation to make sense to you. Case in point."
"Schmuck."
As they travelled, Erza told them how the first thing they had done was erect similar poles from the front door of the residential building to the toilet.
"The scientists who stay here have lots of stories about someone leaving the camp during a blizzard to visit the bathroom and never coming back," she said. "Two years ago, a Sinnish man did the same thing. Never came back. Afterwards, the others found him dead on the ice ten feet away from the toilet."
Luca shuddered. "I'm just gonna pee in a bottle."
"That is a necessity, actually."
"Aww hell yeah!"
"How much time did this take you?" Gray asked.
"The road? We worked on it on and off ever since we got here. Axe work is hard, as you know. We started creating lanes for the sled ruts as soon as we made the base and wanted to take it straight to the mountains, but..." she sighed. "You will see why that hasn't happened very soon."
Gray nodded to himself. Sledging on solid ice was different from sledging on snow. On ice, you needed to dig parallel lanes for the sled runners to dig into. There would be no traction otherwise. Being an ice mage, he could create those as he went but for Erza and her team, axe work would probably have been back-breaking. Typically, it took nine to eleven hours of digging to clear a lane between 500-3,000 yards. They'd cleared miles. Whatever had stopped them must've been major.
Musta run across a crevasse or something.
After maybe a mile or two, Erza told him to stop. When they did, she got out and motioned for them to follow.
"These are the last markers Wendy and I planted," she told them as she passed them by. "We went back to camp and found out about Lucy's pregnancy and decided against venturing out." She stopped and put her hands on her hips. "But I am glad we reached this, nonetheless."
Gray and Luca stopped on either side of her and, while Luca squealed and started jumping around, Gray chuckled quietly and said, "Fuck me sideways."
It was a frozen lake. A huge frozen lake, spanning miles upon miles in every direction. The surface ice looked as hard as glass, glimmering a bright cyan.
The once distant mountains loomed closer now. Close enough to reach out and touch, almost. Gray tried to imagine what it must have looked like once, in a time when the pole wasn't frozen over. Tried to imagine those lofty peaks reflected in the crystal-clear water. Imagined an evening's boat ride, cocooned by tranquillity.
Just me and...
He turned towards Erza. Found her standing there with a small smile on her face. The kind she reserved for her gentlest moments, when her cheeks would go pink, too. It filled his chest with a thousand butterflies, all struggling to escape.
"Right," Erza said after a while and held out her hands to both Luca and Gray. "Hold my hand, boys."
Luca latched on immediately. "We goin' on the lake?"
"Yes, but this is more historic than that. You see, Luca, up until now, you were mere travellers. Now, with the next few steps, we will be explorers in the truest sense of the word. Nobody has trodden on this lake before." She looked at Gray and waggled her hand. "Won't you step into the uncharted with me, Gray?"
Innocent though the question was, it knocked all the butterflies out of his stomach. Gray felt his mouth hang open and his breath leave. He covered it up by coughing into his fist.
Goddamn, that nearly got me. What the fuck?!
"Well?" Erza pressed, holding her hand up to his face. "I can't wait for you forever."
Beside her, Luca nodded. "That's what I always say."
Breathing out a chuckle, he grabbed Erza's hand. He made sure not to hold it too tightly. "Why is that even a question?"
"Just making sure. All right team, here we go!"
On the count of three, all of them stepped on to the ice together. After a few wobbly steps, Luca cackled and took off down the lake. Gray didn't bother calling after him – the ice was at least a couple of miles thick.
He kept the boy in sight, though. If he fell on his ass – or his face – Gray wanted to jeer immediately. Served him right for being a dumbass.
After a few minutes of walking in silence, Erza said, "I thought about what you said."
"Hmm?" Gray looked from Luca, who was sliding along the ice on his stomach, to Erza. "About leaving?"
She nodded. "You are correct. It would be foolish to stay here and endanger anyone when you can give us a way out. But there are two things I want to accomplish before we attempt extraction."
"Okay. And what are those things?"
"I want to find the South Pole. I mean the 90-degree point on the compass, both true and magnetic. I want to plant a flag on that point."
"Hmm. That's reasonable enough." In truth, he was surprised she hadn't done that already. Plus, it was tamer than what he was expecting. "What else?"
In response, Erza lifted her free hand and pointed at the tallest peak visible to them. "See the view from that summit."
And Gray, following her finger, set his gaze on the sixteen thousand feet tall tower of stone and ice and was acutely aware of his stomach trying to wiggle its way out of his rear.
Taking in a deep breath, he tightened his grip on Erza's hand and said, "Ah, crap."