Jacob's POV
If I ever see cullen again I'm gonna rip his damn head off!
How dare he just up and leave bella the way he did. Who the hell does he think he is? He doesn't even call her anymore or pick when she does. These are only some of the things I overheard charlie saying to my dad. How she won't eat, how she wakes up screaming, how she has pulled away from everyone. She's killing herself slowly and doesn't care who she's hurting. But I don't blame bella, no.
I blame him.
Just the thought of him and the obviously unhealthy relationship he manipulated bella into makes me sick. If I were him I'd never be able to let her go. To hurt bella would be like me hurting myself.
"What are you steaming about man? Quite literally might I add" Embry asks walking into my garage. Which is where I went to be left alone.
"What do you want em" I snap a little harshly. He puts his hands up defensively and shrugs.
"Well you know word travels fast on the rez so almost everyone knows that bella is.. well... you know "severely damaged" by her break up with that cullen boy. And everyone also knows about your massive crush on her. Including me" he says taking a seat beside me.
"So?" It's not like I haven't heard people talking about it before so why is he bringing it up now of all times. Can't he tell I wanna be left alone.
"So... I also have the awesome privilege to know you. And I know that this is effecting you in one way or another so here I am. Do you wanna talk about those big manly feelings in there" he pokes my chest while speaking in a baby voice.
I laugh and swat his hand away. "Come on em stop acting like seth."
"Hey he's not the only one who can be overly happy at times. And plus I was just joking around so that you'd smile. And I see it worked. So what's up man"
I sigh and give in "It's not right em. What he did to her... what he's doing to her. He made her fall deep in love with him and then he breaks her heart. I don't know what pisses me off more the fact he did that or the fact I told her it would happen and she didn't listen"
"Well sometimes people have to experience it for themselves to learn their lesson. Maybe now she'll stop chasing after him and see that you're better for her." Embry says with a smile while elbowing my side.
I blush "shut up." I push him away.
"I don't know about all that. She made it pretty clear that she's not interested"
"You told her?" He raises an eyebrow.
"No but I made moves and she dodged every single one of them. It would be weird if she hasn't figured out by now man. I don't know. Maybe she is still oblivious to my feelings." I shrug. Bella can be very oblivious sometimes. But even so I'm sure that's not the case here. She would always give me this look that said 'I know you like me and it's cute but I'm very much in love'. Basically a no thank you.
"Well, cullen's not here so maybe she'll give you chance. You'd be a better choice then him anyways."
"Yeah. How so?" I ask raising my head to look at him.
Embry looks at me and smiles "Well uh...um...let's see. You have... a... great personality?" He says more like a question.
I glare at him and he laughs loudly. "I was kidding. But really your awesome man. Any girl would be lucky to have you" 'or any guy...' i held in a growl.
"Cool I have a great personality and I'm 'great'. That makes me feel good. Next you're gonna say 'you're cool and all, we should be friends. Thanks for the date' then you're gonna drive me home and I'll bury my face in a tube of ice cream and cry about how unlovable I am"
Embry only stares at me blinking "Dude. That explains alot. It's either you're into chick flicks or you have to much experience in rejection." I elbow him.
"I was only kidding em. And plus I never even dated before" Embry gives me a look "nor have I asked anyone out and got rejected" I ask. Embry just gives me a 'Yeah right look' I sigh and shake my head.
"Hey uh where's that pal kid? Aiden or something" I shrug not really wanting to talk about him.
Embry also shrugs and stands up adjusting his clothes.
"Ok man I'm gonna go. I'm supposed to be running an aron and I'm already late. See ya"
I wave at him and watch him leave. I sigh and rub my hand over my face. Why are things so complicated. First it's aidzuki then it's bella... then aidzuki again now it's bella and aidzuki. Bellas not answering my calls which I understand. Aidzuki won't so much as look at me. And I seriously need one of my best friends. Preferably aidzuki. I wonder if he knows what I did that night. If he knows i kissed him. His soft lips melded perfectly with mine. And I'm not ashamed to admit to myself what happened when I went in my room. I got off just by thinking of those plump lips wrapped around my length and a little help from my hand. Twice.
I was brought out of my thoughts by a loud bang and a high pitched squeak which was then followed by a curse. In Japanese. I tense up cause I know exactly who it is. Well I don't know many people who speak Japanese AND stays in LA push. I stare at the door waiting for something to happen. For him to come in or for him to say something. When neither happens I take a deep breath and stand up. I walk to the door slowly as if I'm sneaking up on an enemy to bash their skull in. When I reach it i stop and take some calming breathes before looking around the corner.
I'm more shocked then I should be when my eyes land on aidzuki facing away from me stiffly shoulder moving rapidly. Is he hyperventilating?
"Aidzuki"
Aidzuki's pov
My first thought today was to visit bella's house like I have been for the past two weeks since the cullens left so that's were I'm headed. I only go when Charlie's at work cause I don't want her to be alone and hurt herself. Even though when I go to her house all she does is sit in her chair or lay in bed staring blankly in a random direction. Even when she's sitting in her chair staring into the woods she never seems to notice I'm around. It's like she's in her own little world.
I have no doubt that edward will be back for bella. He loves her to much to really let her suffer like this. And he has to know what he's doing to her cause Alice must of seen this and told him. He'll come back and things will be back to normal after a while. Right?
I arrive at bella's house and immediately head to her backyard knowing she won't open the door if I knock. The first thing I do is look at her window to see if she she's in her chair. Nope. Must be in bed.
So i climb the tree directly outside of her window and peer in expecting to see her in bed but instead I see her wrapped in a towel her hair dripping wet. Before I could look away she drops the towel and my eyes widen. Ah fuck.
She doesn't look half bad though, not like expected her to but it's not like I wanna see her naked either. Despite this I'm glade I am seeing her naked.
Not because of that though ok!
I mean cause now I could see the full extent of her depressed state. She's skinny, well skinnier then before but not by much. It still isn't good though seeing as she was already so small in the first place like me except shorter. I continue my scan of her body trying to avoid her bits as I do. Dark circles under her eyes, stringy hair, and red eyes. Pretty small breast too. But I'm sure that's not gonna change. I laugh to myself before realizing I'm talking about my friend.
I stay in the tree for some hours before she falls asleep and Charlie pulls up. I jump down and make my way back to the rez through the woods.
I'm gonna talk to jacob today.
I've decided that we need to stop acting like we killed someone and talk out our feelings with one another. Before we grow further apart and living in his house becomes more awkward than it already is.
When I'm on the outside of the black residence I sit under a tree to think about how to approach jacob. As this happens something slithering up my arm but I ignore it knowing it's just hoshi back from whatever she was doing. She wraps around my arm and lays her head on my shoulder probably to sleep. I look down at her and see her eyes shut.
"Snakes don't sleep you know" I say lowly. I know that's not true.
She hisses at me and tucks her head in my armpit.
I smile and lean my head back against the tree with my eyes closed. Maybe I should just go for it and get it over with. Like it won't be that bad. It's not like we had a fist fight it was just a kiss. I nod firmly and walk towards the house each step determined. I breath in and out so that I won't panic before I even make to the house. When I'm close enough I tilt my head up and sniff the air to pin point his location.
He's in the garage.
As I'm walking closer I see someone walk out. They stop and wave at me and i wave back awkwardly smiling. He nods and continues walking and I head to were he just came from. When I'm outside the door I stop my earlier confidence fading rapidly. I hear a shift from inside and panic.
Abort mission! I repeat Abort fucking mission.
I turn to run and trip over my own feet falling and crashing into something creating a loud noise. My eyes widen and I scramble to my feet dusting my clothes off all the while cursing my clumsy nervousness. When I'm finish composing myself I take a step only to stop breathing when I hear footsteps coming closer.
Ā, kuso!
Run! No wait don't he might think you scared. Oh kami what do I do he's gonna see me. this is embarrassing! OK stay calm breath. I can't fucking breath! Forget this run. RUN!
Why the hell aren't I moving. Body you trader I thought we were in this together (A/N: haha). Floor swallow me or a stray asteroid hit me. Something please!
"Aidzuki"
My life is over.
I try to breath normally and after a while I remember that it's simply in and out. Once I'm no longer panicked I slowly turn around to face jacob. When I'm facing him I smile awkwardly.
"Hey there jakasourus rex" Oh very smooth.
He smiles in amusement and slight confusion and if you know what to look for nervousness. I close my eyes and breath in.
"Jacob I- I uhm." I sag at a loss of what to do.
"I'm sorry" he speaks up.
"You haven't done anything wrong" I say looking him in the eye. "It's me who needs to apologize. If I hadn't run away-"
"Doesn't mean I should have kissed you!" He says. I flinch when he says that. I guess this is happening now.
"Jacob it's OK really." I reassure him.
It doesn't work cause he only looks at me with a sad look.
"You think everything is OK aidzuki. But it's not ok. It's not okay that I yelled or that I kissed you."
I look away from him. It sounds more like he's talking to himself than me. I wish I could say it. Just to get other out in the open so the weight on my chest would be gone and I could breath. But it wouldn't come out no matter how much I willed it to burst out of my mouth. Three simple words. I love you.
"I never said it was okay that you yelled at me. It's okay that you kissed" he sighs " I really didn't mind it at all. Actually I kind of-" I blush and cover my mouth. It was to late. It's not hard to guess what I was gonna say next.
It was silent for for a couple of beats. I could hear my heart beating as fast as a hummingbird could flap it's wings. I feel like I'm gonna pass out.
He took a step closer to me and i grow stiff. A big hand comes into view and grabs my wrist. I stare in wonder at the contrast between our skin and the warmth that keeps on growing coming from the native.
He pulls my hand away from my mouth and then grabs my chin making me look at him. He had a small smirk on his face as he gazes at me.
"Kind of what?" He asks.
I blink slowly as I breath shakingly. "I-i-"
I swallow thickly and avert my eyes. I could hear that his heart is also beating rapidly and he's breathing just as heavily as I am. Was he scared right now aswell? Cause I know I was.
"You?..." he whispers coming closer.
I gather what was left of my courage and blurt out what I really wanna say.
"I love you!"
...
...
...
I stare directly into his eyes refusing to look away from his face. Cause Once I do I know the courage that was pulsing through my veins would disappear quickly and I'd run.
And I'm not sure I would have the strength to come back.
"You l-love me?" jacob said so lowly that I barley caught it his face face was bright with surprise.
"Yes. I have for a long time. I just didn't want to tell you cause I thought you'd freak and never want to see me ever again... cause you love bella"
I felt hot tears collect in my eyes as silence fell over us again. He won't even look at me. He just stares right over my head blankly. I finally look away from him unable to think of the rejection that was no doubt around the corner. As soon as he snaps out of whatever fog he was under.
When he says nothing I decide that leaving was my best option and was about to turn around when I heard a small snort.
What the hell.
I nearly jump out of my skin when jacob suddenly busts out laughing. He throws back his head gasping as he tries to stop laughing holding his sides tight as if they were gonna split right open.
Why was he laughing?
Was he laughing at me?
I look away ashamed and embarrassed warmth spreading under my skin turning it red. I should have known better. Jacob could never love me like he loves bella. All those dreams of holding his hand and kissing his lips were all crumbling and sinking into the dark corners of my mind. After all that's all they were and all they'll ever be. Dreams. Matter of fact I bet As soon as he stops laughing he's gonna tell me to stay the hell away from him. Maybe even his precious bella.
Despite the tears flowing down my red cheeks and the hurt I'm feeling I stand my ground ready to take my rejection.
Jacob hunches forward bracing himself on his knees as he slowly starts to calm down letting out giggles here and there.
"Oh man. That's fucking hilarious!" I flinch when he says that but otherwise stay quiet.
He looks at me and i could see regret push through his amused expression. He stands up straight and steps closer to me and i could feel myself start to tremble and I fight to keep standing upright.
I take in a sharp breath when he raises his hand but then i gasp when he lays it gently on my face and softly starts to wipe away my tears with his thumb.
"Look at me" he breathes and my eyes flutter up to meet his.
He doesn't say anything just leans down slowly as if he wasn't really sure of what he was doing.
But what was he doing?
Is this some sort of joke? Or trick?
I place my hand on his chest to stop him and he looks down at me confused.
"You're not angry or disgusted?" I ask him
He smirks at me and furrows his brows.
"Of coarse not" he says simply.
"B- but you laughed at me. Why would you laugh at me after I tell you my feelings for you?" Yeah I bared my soul to him and he laughs in my face like it was the most ridiculous thing he's ever heard.
"I wasn't laughing at you ai, I was laughing at myself."
"Why?" I ask kinda confused now.
"Cause this whole time I could have been happy instead of scared. I kept things inside because I thought I'd ruin our friendship and after that, you. And I settled for what we had cause I'd rather have you here as a friend then not at all. But now I know you love me so I'm no longer scared." I stare at him and he stares right back both of us searching the other for lies or truth.
"What things?" I say faintly.
His eyes soften and he leans back in stopping an inch from my face. I look down at his lips hen back up to his eyes and suddenly it's like there's not enough oxygen making it to my lungs.
He lacks his lips "I love you too"
When those words reach my ears I stop breathing all together and tears come to my eyes as I stare wide eyed at his beautiful smirking face. I let out a breath and then take one in happy out how easy it feels how light it feels to finally be where I am right now.
He loves me?
He...loves me.
He loves me!
Oh fucking kami he LOVES ME!
I fling my arms around him and pull him down, smashing our lips together in a kiss.
jacob knows i love him and he loves me.
And as long as he does I can be happy.
Finally got this chapter done! And no this is not the end I have plenty more ideas for this story. Anyways I hope you liked it thank you for reading.