Halfway to Martyrdom

Chapter Twelve

Thrawn stood above his fallen foe. He watched to make sure the Jedi was truly unconscious, then gestured towards Sergeant Jeffries. Two troopers retrieved the Jedi from the floor while a third collected his lightsaber. Thrawn's officers gagged as Bridger's stench wafted past them.

The Jedi had seen better days. Stubble mixed with dust across his face, giving his skin a sickly hue. Dark circles ringed his eyes, contrasting the bright blue with which his irises normally shone. He wore the ill-fitting uniform of a deceased arms technician, a uniform he'd ripped along the sleeves.

Thrawn felt neither pleasure nor pity for the Jedi's weakened state. Bridger's condition only mattered to the extent it affected what followed. Perhaps the Jedi's exhaustion would convince him to abandon his senseless crusade against the Chimaera. Perhaps it would amplify his desire to return home to his friends. Thrawn could use such sentiment.

Not knowing exactly when their enemy would awaken, the stormtroopers were swift and thorough as they bound the Jedi to a raised examination table. Thrawn had moved it out of the ship's interrogation room for the occasion. The Jedi's weapon was taken to Hammerly's office as a way to minimize risk.

Even through his helmet, Jeffries' disdain was visible. "Why do you want to talk to the enemy, sir? We could kill him right now."

"Patience, Sergeant. Bridger still has more to offer us in our quest for survival."

"Like what? Our deaths?" Chief Fennix blurted out.

Thrawn paused. Of all the officers assembled, he hadn't expected such boldness from Fennix. He was about to respond when Hammerly stepped in. "Bridger summoned the purrgil who brought us here. If anyone knows our location, it's him. We need him to tell us where we are so we can plot our jump."

Thrawn turned to his second-in-command. Was that what she thought was going on here? Interesting. Her assertion was logical, if not entirely accurate.

Hammerly returned his gaze with a plea in her own. "Forgive the outburst, sir. We are all ready to put this disgraceful episode behind us."

Thrawn turned from Hammerly to Fennix, then nodded. "I acknowledge our circumstances."

The Imperials waited in silence for their enemy's return to consciousness. The room was so still that half the room flinched when an asteroid hit the hull. Its tremor was minor, yet strong enough to shift the mood.

The shake of the ship caused Bridger to stir. He blinked a few times, eyes dull and out of focus. He mumbled, "am I dead?"

"Not yet, young Bridger."

The Jedi tensed. His limbs strained against their bonds, making Bridger aware of his confinement. He balled his hands into fists as he struggled. "Why are you doing this? What, you want to torture me first?"

Not particularly. Thrawn was prepared to use whatever method became necessary to get what he needed from Bridger, but he doubted torture would accomplish his objectives. "I wish to speak with you. No assault, no banter. A simple conversation."

"I have nothing to say to you! You've lost, Thrawn. You lost Lothal, you lost the rest of your fleet, and you lost most of your crew. Face it. I beat you!"

"It's interesting you see things that way. Tell me. If you already believe yourself victorious, why do you harass my crew?"

The Jedi narrowed his eyes. He must think Thrawn wanted to deceive him. "What are you saying?"

"When the Chimaera last stood above Lothal, you came aboard with a mission. I am asking you to define your mission's objectives. If your mission was to liberate your home planet and deal damage to the Empire, then you have long since succeeded… just as you say." Thrawn folded his hands behind his back. He thought back to the speech he'd delivered on the crew's first day in the asteroid field. "However, if your mission was to personally slaughter every individual member of my crew, then you have not reached your goal. Which is it, young Bridger?"

The Jedi blinked. "They're the same goal."

"Hardly. One goal involves defending your friends from assault. The other involves attacking the wounded from your place in the shadows. You are better suited for one scenario than the other, as I think you have seen."

Bridger's flailing faltered. He frowned as he considered Thrawn's words. Then he grit his teeth. "No, I won't let you trick me. I did what I had to do to see this through!"

"Had to? Or have to?" Thrawn tilted his head, maintaining his pressure on the young rebel. "Consider your answer carefully. 13,000 lives hang in the balance. Yours may as well."

Bridger blinked rapidly, as if trying to keep himself awake. "I… didn't think there were gonna be any lives left when we came out of hyperspace. My plan didn't leave room for survivors."

"What do you mean?" Hammerly asked. She crossed her arms. "You summoned the purrgil who led us here. If you wanted us to die immediately, why not direct them towards a star?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. I let the purrgil pick our destination."

Hammerly straightened in shock at the revelation. "You 'let the purrgil pick'?"

"They seemed to know what they were doing! It's not like we had time to talk about it. Also, purrgil aren't stupid. They don't want to fly into a star any more than we do."

"So you have no clue where we are?"

Bridger threw his hands up to the extent his restraints allowed. "No idea. I can't tell asteroid fields apart!"

Entertaining as this diversion was, it confirmed what Thrawn had already come to suspect. The Jedi was floundering. Whichever force had decreed Thrawn would return to the sight of his past mission, it was a force beyond Bridger's.

Jeffries' sneer was audible through his helmet's modulator. "If you can't tell us where we are, why should we keep you around? My men could have killed you a dozen times in the past week. You know that?"

"That's enough, Sergeant." Thrawn cut in before Bridger could respond. They had just gotten the Jedi to talk. No use winding him up now.

The time had come to offer Bridger a choice. A pathway out of his floundering. He wanted to escape every bit as badly as the Imperials did. Bridger just needed to realize it. "I would have liked to have confirmed our location from you, but the sergeant's implication is not correct. While I have asked my men to suppress the level of havoc you wreak on this ship, I have deliberately prevented them from ending your life."

"I knew it!" Jeffries crowed. "I knew you were stalling us."

"Your admiral gave you an order, Sergeant." Captain Holt silenced his subordinate.

Bridger paid the troopers no mind. His mouth hung open as he stared at Thrawn in shock. "But… no. I-I don't believe that."

"I believe your Force powers allow you to detect lies, up to a point. Consult them if you suspect I am untruthful."

It was a risky move to invite Bridger into his mind. Thrawn had regular practice in revealing only what he wished to a mind probe, but Bridger did not use the method to which Thrawn was accustomed. Where the Emperor or Vader sought specific information at all costs, Bridger preferred to meander. He would find Thrawn's desperation if he wandered too far.

Thrawn had nothing to worry about. Bridger neglected to probe his mind at all. Instead, he changed the subject. "You spared my life the first day, too. I know you saw me crawl into the vents. But you left me alone… why?"

"Unlike you, young Bridger, I have no confusion regarding the objectives of my mission. From the moment the purrgil removed this ship from Lothal, my mission to support the Imperial government there became untenable. From then on, my mission became the preservation of my crew. When I faced you in that corridor, I had two choices. I could end you in an act of vengeance, or I could fulfill my obligations as the admiral of this vessel. At that moment, I was not able to do both.

"If I believed ending your life would improve the survival odds of my crew, I would have done it weeks ago. Conventional wisdom states that harboring an enemy combatant in our midst runs counter to survival objectives, but you must realize the dire nature of our circumstances. For as long as you are alive, there is one path that remains available to the Chimaera. It is a path I find desirable over the alternative."

Before, Thrawn had Bridger's curiosity. Now, he had his attention. "What path is that?"

"The path of Force-assisted navigation."

Several officers gasped. Commander Woldar stared at Thrawn like he'd grown a second head. "What are you- do you mean… use the rebel as a navicomputer? Can the Force do that?"

"No way," Bridger denied it. "The Force can't replace a navicomputer. I can't see that far out into space."

"Indeed you can. There is precedent for the move, especially on this side of the galaxy."

Heat fled Hammerly's cheeks as she turned to him. Her hand crept up to her chin as she asked. "What do you mean you have precedent, sir?"

"Do you recall a time when I ordered the bridge vacated, Commodore? When I left only Lord Vader in the room we occupy now?"

Hammerly's eyes widened, comprehension creeping in. "So you're saying… when we went into hyperspace that time… Vader was navigating our ship?"

"I am saying exactly that, Commodore."

"That's crazy!" Bridger protested. "I'm not Vader! I don't have the Dark Side abilities that he does. And even if I did, why would I help you guys? I brought you out here to die."

"This is where the question I asked earlier becomes relevant once again. If your primary objective in whisking us away was to end our threat to the rebel takeover of Lothal, then your mission is complete. We are not close enough to return to Lothal on the fuel we possess. You are free to consider my proposal." Thrawn paused for effect. "If your goal is the total eradication of my crew, then no consideration can occur. Our conversation is over."

On Thrawn's cue, the troopers who had tied Bridger to the table lifted their blasters. Both were pointed at the Jedi's temple. Outside the Jedi's field of vision, a third trooper had her blaster aimed at the back of his head.

Bridger stared at Thrawn through half-lidded eyes. He could not resemble the archetype of a Jedi hero any less than he did in that moment. Most art of Jedi knights in battle depicted them as tall, standing serenely above the chaos. In their hands, a lightsaber was not a weapon but a conductor's baton, directing the flow of order and peace out into the galaxy. Instead, Bridger's shoulders hunched forward. He leaned back onto the table, no longer attempting to stand tall against his adversary. He appeared as a man who had succumbed to chaos, not risen above it.

"I still don't see why I would take your offer. No matter what I say my goal is, I don't want you back in the Empire. You threaten the whole rebellion."

Thrawn inclined his head. He did not dispute Bridger's point directly. "Over the past three weeks, you have demonstrated precisely how little you value your own life. You seek to emulate the late Kanan Jarrus by martyring yourself… but you forget the most important detail about his sacrifice."

The Jedi bristled at Thrawn's mention of his master. "What are you talking about? You wouldn't know a hero's sacrifice if it blasted you in the face!"

"In order for a warrior's sacrifice to qualify as a heroic one, it must save the people for whom the warrior fights. Tell me. Who do you save by dooming this vessel now?"

Bridger stuttered. "I-I save every innocent life you would have taken if your career in the Empire continued."

As if there would be a continued career in the Empire for Thrawn. Even before the Battle of Lothal, Thrawn had known his time in the fleet was running short. Not that he could tell Bridger that now. He would have to imply it another way. "Do you think the Empire would allow me to continue if it knew I had spared your life?"

"What?"

"You, young Bridger, are one of the Empire's most notorious adversaries. If that was not true before, your actions above Lothal have ensured it. You have the blood of hundreds of thousands of Imperial lives on your hands. Still, I offer to spare your life. Shortly before now, I faced… spectacular defeat at your hands." Thrawn tilted his head. "Do you think the Empire will be forgiving towards me when they find out?"

Hammerly opened her mouth to protest. Thrawn silenced her with a hand, keeping his focus on Bridger. "I do not speak to you in the hopes of preserving my own career. I seek the preservation of my crew's lives. Lives you gain nothing by terminating."

Bridger still looked like he wanted to argue. "Since when do people like you care about your underlings?"

"Search my mind. You will know my resolve is genuine."

This time, the Jedi did reach out with the Force. Thrawn felt it. He closed his eyes, turning his thoughts towards Shipmen Russo, the young man Thrawn had seen struggling under rubble when Bridger had first escaped him. He thought of his visit to the medbay, the frustration he'd felt when Commander Nerric presented bleak prospects regarding their medical capacity. There'd been hard choices to make that day. He thought of his evening conversation with Commander Woldar, how he'd nearly lost track of time. He thought of Commodore Hammerly, desperately trying to reassure him that this time as grand admiral was not over. That last memory especially was difficult to consider. Hammerly's attempts at comfort drew Thrawn's mind to his previous commodore, the now-Admiral Faro.

His chest ached. Faro's absence was not something he could contemplate now. Thrawn trusted Faro to carry out the mission he'd left for her in his Coruscant property, to reconstruct the triad he'd described to her in his writing and speak to Rukh's compatriots. There was no room for Thrawn to think anything further of her at the moment. He opened his eyes.

"You do care about them," Bridger confirmed, eyes wide. He removed his metaphysical fingers from the surface of Thrawn's mind. "You never tell them you care, but… you care."

"I convey my opinion of others through my actions towards them. The crew of this vessel has served me faithfully for several years. I will not repay any more of them with a premature death. I am prepared to set my pride aside if it means they will outlive my failure." This was the closest Thrawn had come to begging in a long time. "If you will not place value on my crew's lives, at least consider your own. If you leave this asteroid field with us, you may live to fight another day."

Bridger opened his mouth to speak, then closed it. His eyes got caught on the blasters still pointed at him. At Thrawn's gesture, the two troopers in Bridger's line of sight lowered their weapons.

The Jedi shook his head. "Not just them. The one behind me needs to put hers down as well."

Thrawn nodded to the third trooper. She complied with the request.

Bridger took a deep breath, then sighed. "Look, even if I did agree to help you, I have no idea how to navigate hyperspace. I can't even tell you where we are right now. Asking me to navigate for the whole ship is just asking for trouble."

"You have been nothing but trouble since coming aboard the Chimaera. In this capacity, your trouble may work in our favor." Thrawn exhaled through his nose. "You, young Bridger, are the best of my severely limited options."

"What are you planning to do if I say no? Besides kill me, I mean."

Chief Condor answered this question. There was no reason not to. "Exit the asteroid field. Plot small jumps with our sensor data. Pray we find an inhabited planet before our fuel runs out."

Bridger shifted in his bonds. "That doesn't seem like a very good plan. What do I do that makes it better?"

Thrawn answered this time. "I have a theory regarding our current location. Four star 'box' systems are exceedingly rare in the universe, yet we find ourselves inside one. Many years ago, I visited a system exactly like this one. Inside it was an inhabited planet with sentient lifeforms of sufficient technological advancement. They call themselves the Paccosh. With your Force powers, young Bridger, you will search the space around us for the place I describe. Upon finding it, you shall direct our path through hyperspace. Making one jump instead of several ought to maximize our fuel efficiency."

"You've known where we are this whole time?" Xoxtin reacted before Bridger was able to. "And you left us all to wonder?

"My theory was of no relevance to your daily tasks, Lieutenant. Furthermore, I had no way to confirm my theory. It remains possible we are in a system unrelated to the one I describe," Thrawn explained in an even tone. "Box systems are notoriously difficult to enter from hyperspace. Galactic cartographers may be inclined to avoid them. This fact makes the purrgil's selection even more impressive."

Woldar shrugged. "I've never heard of a box system in the Empire before. How many of them can there be?"

"I don't think there are any known box systems in Imperial territory," Hammerly added. "All the four star systems in the Empire are dual binary. We must be in the Unknown Regions."

Bridger was thinking about it now. "...So even if I did what you asked, I wouldn't be taking us to the Empire. We would be going to a neutral planet, right?"

Thrawn nodded. "The last time I visited this planet, their people were wholly indifferent to the affairs of the Galactic Empire. I see no reason for their opinion to have changed in the years since."

Bridger gulped. "If I take the ship to this planet of yours, and the people there agree to help us… you have to let me go. I'll find my own way back to the rebellion. You don't get to keep me captive, and you can't follow me."

"I find those terms acceptable. You have my word, young Bridger."

Alarmed glances shot around the room. Even the more restrained officers looked concerned. Holt shifted his weight from one foot to another as he dared speak out. "We're… letting him go, sir? After everything he did to us?"

"We can afford nothing else, Captain. I care more for preserving the living than I do avenging the dead." Thrawn fixed his crimson gaze on Bridger. "One day, you will pay for your crimes against the Empire. Especially if you are serious about your intent to rejoin the rebellion."

"I fight for justice. The Force is with me for as long as I listen to it," Bridger responded. His words carried more conviction now. They rung reminiscent of Bridger's words above Lothal. "The Force… is telling me to trust you. So I will."

The Force made the decision for Bridger? How convenient. Thrawn suspected the Jedi simply wanted to return to his own crew. Thrawn's embarrassing display of sentimentality earlier had triggered a similar reaction in Bridger.

Even so, the result was as Thrawn desired. "If I release you from your restraints, can I trust you not to assault my crew?"

"That depends. Will they attack me?"

"They will not."

"Then I'll leave them alone. I still have no idea what I'm doing with this navigation thing, but I'll try it out. Worst comes to worst, we all crash and die. And then I get what I wanted earlier." Ezra flashed a tired smile, both hands in the 'thumbs up' formation.

Hammerly shuddered. "I've got a bad feeling about this, sir."

"Who's gonna untie me?" Bridger asked the group. "I swear I don't… yeah, I'm pretty sure I've never bitten an Imperial before."

Was Thrawn going to regret this? Potentially. Yet he knew he would regret it more if he'd been aware of this possibility and left it unused. Despite all the mistakes Thrawn had made in his life, he was proud to say that none of them were the result of inaction. Better to take the wrong path than to never walk at all.

So Thrawn nodded once more to the troopers who had restrained Bridger before. The officers stood as far away as they could without visibly fleeing from Bridger. When the Jedi landed on his feet, he lurched forward. His steps had an unbalanced quality to them. The closer he stumbled to Thrawn, the more Thrawn's nose alerted him of the Jedi's presence.

Bridger ran a hand through his dust-caked hair. "Before we try this jump… can I take a nap first? I haven't slept in days."

"You may shower, eat, and sleep. In that order. We will exit the asteroid field twelve hours from now." Thrawn wanted Bridger at his physical best before he attempted his first navigation. He knew better than to press an exhausted navigator into a jump. "You will not be restrained, but there will be troopers accompanying you at all times."

"Are the troopers for me or for your crew?"

Both. "They are present to keep you on schedule. Your escort will accompany you to a location where you will not face disturbances. Should you abandon your escort for any reason, I will assume you have reneged on our arrangement. I offer no guarantees for your continued protection." As an additional measure, Thrawn would continue to have men follow Bridger around the ship. If the Jedi tried anything, he would fail.

"Yeah, yeah. I'll stay with my babysitters. Two more things. One: can I go get my normal clothes back? These pants are… not my size." Bridger adjusted the crotch area to accentuate his point. "Two: what did you do with my lightsaber?"

"Your regular attire waits for you in the room I had arranged for you. Said room also includes ration bars and a 'fresher. No more will you need to crawl the vents in a woman's uniform."

Barron's eyes bulged. He examined Bridger in the chest and groin area. "He is in a woman's uniform!"

"Yeah, I steal from women when I can. They tend to be closer to my size than most men in the Empire are." Bridger kept his focus on Thrawn. "My lightsaber?"

"I will return it to you after a successful jump to the planet Rapacc… or a comparable location. Until then, consider your Force abilities a sufficient armament."

Bridger snorted. "Whatever happened to a show of faith?"

"What do you make of me releasing you?" Thrawn retorted. "Force-assisted navigation benefits from the free movement of your limbs, but I have seen nothing to suggest that is required."

"Alright, I get it." Bridger threw his arms up in surrender… to the instant displeasure of everyone in his remote vicinity. He sniffed, then immediately dropped his arms. "Dang, I do stink. Where did you say the 'fresher was?"

The three troopers Thrawn had assigned led Bridger away from the bridge. None of them were thrilled with their jobs, but Thrawn had chosen them because they were the least likely to attempt murder in this situation. Jeffries had been dismayed to hear he would not watch over Bridger himself.

As soon as the Jedi left, Thrawn's officers exploded into chatter. Of the competing streams of sound, Thrawn comprehended Hammerly's first. "When are we going to tell the rest of the crew about Bridger, sir? Most of them have heard rumors about him already."

"We will tell the remaining crew the entire truth after our jump through hyperspace. No need to cause unnecessary chaos beforehand."

"By that logic, should we also wait for Bridger to leave our ship? The crew is going to react poorly no matter when we tell them, sir. We may as well fulfill our obligations first."

"We aren't actually letting that rebel go, are we sir?" Xoxtin asked. "You just told him that to get us out of here, right?"

Thrawn shook his head. "I meant what I said. We have a long journey back to the Empire. It does us no good to give ourselves more problems than we already have."

Stares. Possible groaning. Thrawn understood his plan was unpopular, but his officers treated it like lunacy.

Hammerly tried to reassure them. She directed her words at Thrawn, but they were meant for everyone except him. "I… have my own concerns, sir, but I lack a better plan than what you have presented to us. If you think we can use Bridger to secure our rescue, I will trust your judgment. You have led us before with plans I did not understand. We have always survived. I know you will do anything you can to get us out of this situation alive. I am prepared to make the same commitment."

She saluted him. After weighing her words, the other officers gradually followed her lead. Thrawn nodded to Hammerly, grateful for her support. "We prepare to jump in twelve hours. Do what you must to prepare your crews for that time. Dismissed."

The room cleared out. Thrawn was alone once more. Only the weight of his obligations kept him company now.

In one sense, the day's mission was a success. Thrawn had managed to convince Bridger to see reason. He would aid their cause.

Unfortunately, willingness did not guarantee ability. The skywalkers of the Chiss Ascendency underwent a lengthy training process before they were cleared to serve on ships. Even though Vader had accomplished the feat without training, he had been able to witness the process in the memories of a skywalker beforehand. Bridger had no such luxury. Thrawn could describe everything he knew about the process to the Jedi and it may still not be enough to pass the skill along.

An intrasystem jump ought to be relatively simple, at least. The complexity of box systems lay in their difficulties with entrance and exit. Once someone was inside the system, the complexity ought to reduce… in theory.

Thrawn detested the uncertainty that awaited them. He despised his position of weakness. After all of Thrawn's years in service across two fleets, he had been bested in combat by a reckless youth. The purrgil's embrace would tar Thrawn's memory forevermore. Even if he made it to the Paccosh. Even if his old ally Uingali were still alive and able to provide everything his crew needed, Thrawn would still return the Empire bearing the mark of defeat.

Better defeat than death. Thrawn had reminded his crew that several times today. He repeated the reminder to himself as many times as it took for the thought to stick.

Thrawn ought to rest as well. An unprepared warrior was the same as a doomed one.

May the warrior's fortune smile upon his gamble.

A/N's: I meant to include the jump in this chapter as well, but convincing Ezra to go along with it took longer than I thought, and I worried shortening the scene would push people out of character. So the end of Arc 1 is the jump into hyperspace and it takes place in Chapter 13.

This fic is a huge passion project of mine, but it's also hard for me to balance. From what I've seen in others, I am significantly more pro-Rebels than most Thrawn fans AND significantly more pro-Thrawn than most Rebels fans. The problem with being pro-everyone in this fic is that the POV characters are often each other's antagonists. Relationships shift as the story goes on, but they don't always lead to neat configurations. You'll see what I mean when we get there.

As always, thank you to everyone for reading and for your continued support. I enjoy all the comments I receive, even the ones that offer me ways to improve. Happy Easter to all who celebrate!