Halfway to Martyrdom

Chapter Thirteen

Ezra trusted the Force. He did. It had been a guiding light through his darkest moments before, and this ought to be no different. The Force flowed through all living things. It held insight Ezra could never hope to gain on his own.

But this… this was crazy! Trust Thrawn? Help him escape the prison the purrgil had chosen for them? After all the damage Thrawn had dealt to the rebellion, he deserved to rot out here!

Ezra turned his gaze towards the shower head, closing his eyes as thick chunks of dust dropped out of his hair. Long after his talk with Thrawn had ended, the alien's words still responded to his thoughts. To his earlier questions, Ezra received the answers of: "Who deserves what is irrelevant. What matters is who has power." and "We can afford nothing else. I care more for preserving the living than I do avenging the dead."

Since when was Thrawn the vanguard of preserving life? How had Ezra become a symbol of death? When they had faced each other above Lothal, their positions had been reversed. Had he mixed up his objectives in the vents, just as Thrawn said?

No matter how much Thrawn needed to pay for his crimes, revenge was not the Jedi way. Ezra would always choose to be a Jedi. He scrubbed weeks worth of grime off his person, cleansing his mind and body at the same time. When he emerged from the 'fresher, his head was the clearest it had been since arrival. As he put his orange outfit back on, he felt the comfort of his old self returning to him.

Ezra devoured the ration bars Thrawn had left for him. The sudden presence of food in his stomach again made him nauseous, but it was nothing he wouldn't be able to sleep off. Thrawn didn't gain anything by poisoning him at this juncture, so the food should be safe.

He nodded to the trooper sitting in the room with him. They had him staying in an officer's suite of some kind. It was the coziest cell Ezra had ever been locked in. The other two troopers stood guard outside the door. "Hi, Trooper. What's your name, anyway?"

She didn't answer at first. Her helmet faced away from Ezra. "I'm… Valencia."

He cocked his head. Valencia, huh? Something about this trooper was familiar to Ezra. But why? He never took note of individual stormtroopers when he faced them in combat. There was no reason for Ezra to know her. She was familiar, but not to him.

There was a moment of silence before the connection clicked in place for Ezra. She'd been in Thrawn's memories. Their first day in the asteroid field, he had… oh yeah! "Thrawn rescued you when we came out of hyperspace, didn't he?"

Valencia turned in his direction. Her shoulderplates shifted back towards the chair. "How did you know?"

"The Force told me." Ezra couldn't read much body language through the armor. Still, the Force gave him a clear read on her emotions. Valencia was wary of Ezra, but she admired Thrawn more. She was one of the only troopers aboard who trusted Thrawn enough to sit tight with a rebel Jedi on his orders.

She hesitated once again, her caution at war with her curiosity. "Will the Force tell you how to get us out of here?"

Ezra shrugged. "Thrawn thinks it will. I've never done anything like this before."

Valencia leaned forward, forearms resting on her thighs. "Had you ever summoned purrgil hordes before Lothal?"

"You got me there." One of these days, Ezra was going to try something that was actually impossible. That would probably be the last day of his life.

He looked at the bed in the middle of the room. "I should sleep."

Valencia nodded. "I'll wake you up when it's time."

Ezra left his shoes at the foot of the bed before jumping under the covers. Utilitarian as they were, officer beds were still the nicest Imperial ships had to offer. He laid on his side, facing away from the trooper guarding him. Much as he tried to ignore Valencia, the Force kept her at the periphery of his senses. Not to warn him, just to… Ezra didn't know why the Force wanted him to notice her, actually. No way was he getting a sense of companionship from an Imperial stormtrooper.

Whatever Ezra was supposed to make of his guard, it wasn't going to keep him awake. Valencia turned the light off in their room, and Ezra's thoughts seeped out of his head. He sunk into a blank, dreamless sleep.

Half a day later, Ezra woke up to a hand on his shoulder. Not as gentle as Hera might have been, but not as rough as Zeb tended to be. The strength and position of the touch reminded him of… "Kanan?"

"No," a modulated female voice replied. She withdrew her hand. "Still Trooper Valencia."

Ezra flipped over, locking eyes with a stormtrooper's visor. He recoiled on instinct before remembering where he was. He glanced at the chair the trooper had been sitting in. "Did you sleep at all?"

"The three of us took turns. One sat with you, one watched the door, and the third took time for themselves." Valencia stepped back so Ezra could climb out of bed. "What's your condition?"

Ezra did a few neck rolls, then bent over to slip on his shoes. "I'm good. I get better sleep here than I do in the vents."

Valencia nodded. She activated her comm and reported Ezra's words to her superiors. Ezra flinched at the move. Of course she'd only asked about him for the sake of the mission. Why else would she ask?

Ezra followed Valencia and the two others back onto the bridge. He didn't have binders on his wrists, but everything else about the arrangement made Ezra feel like a captive. Three weeks ago, Ezra had come to Thrawn's office in the exact same formation. His neck prickled at the thought.

And just like that day, Thrawn was alone when Ezra arrived. His trooper escort saluted Thrawn, then left for a different assignment. Ezra stood two meters away from Thrawn on the bridge, waiting for him to make the first move.

Thrawn… hadn't gotten as much sleep as Ezra. It was hard to tell on a non-human face, but the area around his eyelids had a sunken quality to it. The red glow of his eyes wasn't as bright as Ezra could remember it being in times past. He was still learning how to read Thrawn's emotions through the Force, but Ezra thought he detected some anxiety coming from Thrawn's direction.

"You confirm you are physically well?"

Shrug. "As well as I'm going to be. How are you?"

"My condition is irrelevant for your purposes." Thrawn took a few steps towards Ezra. He bent forward to gaze into Ezra's eyes. "Physical status means a great deal in determining the success of a navigator's jump."

"How would you know? Vader's 'condition' isn't exactly obvious through his armor."

"For our mission to be successful, I need you to cease the comparisons between yourself and Lord Vader. As you have mentioned, the two of you wield the Force in different ways. I predict that if you are to learn to navigate hyperspace, you will have to do it using your own methods."

Ezra snorted. "I thought the ways of the Force were a mystery to you. Does that mean you're taking shots in the dark right now?"

Thrawn's answer surprised him. "I did not mention this detail to my crew, but Force-assisted navigation has its origins in the Unknown Regions. Outside Imperial borders, the distinctions marking Jedi and Sith apart are not present. At the same time, the complexity of the Unknown Regions limits the use of navicomputers in plotting hyperspace jumps. As a result, individuals capable of using what you call the Force are responsible for navigating ships through hyperspace. Multiple species of Force wielders come together to form a Navigator's Guild, a nominally neutral party that guides ships to their destination for a negotiated price."

"Woah." Ezra hadn't thought of finding Force-sensitives in the Unknown Regions before. He wondered why Thrawn knew so much about it. Maybe Ezra could recruit new Jedi on his way back to the rebellion! "How does the Navigator's Guild work?"

"Their exact methods are closely guarded secrets. I will tell you what I have observed of them. It has been decades since I last worked with a guild's navigator, so accept my recollections with a degree of uncertainty." Thrawn went on to describe how navigators would wear special helmets to deprive themselves of sensory input. They would slip into a trancelike state while the ship traveled through hyperspace. Using the Force's ability to look slightly into the future, they would weave the ship away from obstacles before any collisions could occur. At least, that was how Thrawn believed they avoided obstacles.

The basic theory made sense to Ezra, even if it made him nervous. "I would have to be paying really close attention. I get distracted for one second, and everyone dies."

Thrawn nodded. "You cannot afford to let your mind wander during a navigation. Focus and discipline are paramount to success."

Now the insistence on Ezra sleeping and eating made sense. "How long do navigations take?"

"They are comparable in duration to hyperspace jumps using a navicomputer. While Force-assisted navigations do not follow a straight path, they are able to navigate through obstacles in ways I have not witnessed a navicomputer accomplish." Thrawn offered Ezra a modified helmet from a TIE pilot. "Based on our current fuel levels, your jump will have to remain within the system. It will not last long."

Ezra accepted the helmet. When he looked inside, he saw that the eyes and ears were covered with padding. He would be blind and deaf if he wore it. "So… a few minutes?"

"Perhaps not even that."

He gulped. Everything would happen so fast. "How do I know which way to go? Even if your idea about dodging obstacles is true, how do I see ahead to my destination?"

"On that subject, I am even less certain," Thrawn admitted. He sneered at his own ignorance. It was strange for Ezra to see this side of him. Before, Thrawn had been an unshakeable menace looming over Ezra's plans. Now, they were speculating together. "I… can show you what I remember of the planet I seek. Perhaps you can search the space around us for a match?"

"You're gonna let me in your head again?"

"While I am not fond of the idea, my personal comfort means nothing next to the survival of my crew."

"I don't like poking in your head either, if it makes you feel better. You think weird." Ezra searched his own mind for a different proposal. "Well, the Force flows through every living being. Usually, I use it to sense living things that are close to me. Maybe if I look further out, I can find a planet with life on it in our system."

Thrawn considered the idea. "We need more than life if we are to return to the Empire. Our designs require intelligent life. Technological advancement. Do your Force powers allow you to distinguish between different evolutions of life?"

The difference between 'intelligent' life and other forms was actually pretty arbitrary. Through the Force, Ezra had learned many things from 'dumb' creatures like Lothcats and purrgil. Still, Ezra understood what Thrawn meant. "I should be able to see it in the complexity of their language. How important is it to you that I find the one planet you're thinking of?"

"Not especially so. We only require a planet advanced enough for inter-system space travel. I can confirm the Paccosh are capable of such measures. That is the reason I invoked their name before."

Ezra listened carefully while Thrawn spoke of the Paccosh. He wasn't able to detect any emotion in Thrawn's voice. "I'll reach out into the space around us and see what I can find."

Thrawn nodded. "Perhaps wearing the helmet will allow you to concentrate."

Ezra sat down on the floor. He crossed his legs in the position he used to meditate, helmet balancing in his lap. He eyed the device with concern.

Once Ezra put that helmet on his head, he wouldn't be able to hear or see anything around him. Thrawn could creep up on him, and Ezra would be none the wiser. He would be vulnerable.

Or maybe not. Kanan had learned to see through the Force after going blind in battle. The Force was a sense all of its own. It would warn him if he were in any danger. Ezra slid the modified helmet over his head, closing his eyes as the padding settled over them. All he could hear was his heartbeat.

Ezra forced himself to calm down. He took slow, even breaths, focusing on how the air traveled through the helmet's filtration system. The air went in through his mouth, into his lungs, into his blood, and through his racing heart. His racing heart began to run languid. Ezra was ready to slip into meditation.

He reached out with the Force. The first presence he felt was Thrawn's. Thrawn stood in the same place he had before, watching Ezra for any sign of success. Beyond the bridge, Ezra sensed the consciousnesses of the Chimaera crew. Anxieties surged regarding their impending departure from the asteroid field. No one knew for sure where they were going next. That information was for Ezra to seek out.

For the first time since the purrgil left, Ezra stretched his senses beyond the hull of the ship. He passed over the rocks and corpses littering the asteroid field. The Chimaera really was alone among the rocks.

It was desolate out in space. Ezra felt his mind float through vast tracts of nothingness. The further he looked beyond the asteroid field, the more distant he felt from his body. Part of him wondered how he would find his way back.

Ezra searched the areas around the stars for any sign of a planet. He felt incredible surges of flux and solar wind wrapping around the edges of the system. The "box" keeping them inside, he supposed. Good thing he wasn't trying to navigate them past those currents.

The first planets Ezra found were gas giants. Those weren't going to have any life on them. Ezra thought about searching their moons too, but Thrawn had specifically mentioned a planet to him earlier. It would be an incredible act of the Force if Thrawn was right about their current location, and Ezra wanted to see the truth for himself.

Meteors littered the inside of the system. None of them had any signs of life, but there was something unique about them: electronic signals. Thrawn would be excited to know about them.

Ezra followed the path of the signals back to a space station. A space station in orbit over a terrestrial planet, one teeming with living beings. "Found it!"

Ezra was stretched thin through the Force. His vision of the planet was faint. All he knew for sure was that signals from the space station were received on the planet's surface. There must be lifeforms on the surface who were capable of reading electronic data. How was that for intelligent life?

Now that Ezra had found the planet, how did he get back to the Chimaera? He'd never been this far away from his own body before. He hadn't taken the most straightforward path in finding the planet, so retracing his steps didn't seem wise.

Well… to find the planet, he'd followed signals. What was the most distinct signal coming off the Chimaera right now? They didn't have anything electronic transmitting far enough. Their strongest signal was an emotional one: anxiety. Earlier, Ezra had noticed it rolling off the ship in waves. He had to trace anxiousness back to its source without allowing himself to fall prey. If Ezra gave into the fear around him, he would wake from meditation.

He searched the system for fraying nerves. The life on the planet he'd found must be too distant for him to sense emotion, because their feelings were a massive blank for Ezra. He pulled back from the planet until he felt a spark of tension run up his spine. He followed that sense of fear and dread past the meteors and back into the asteroid field. He brushed past Thrawn's presence once again before opening his eyes.

Desperate to see with his eyes again, Ezra ripped the helmet off of his head. His chest was tight and his head was dizzy. He tossed the helmet aside, then slumped over as he held his head in his hands.

Thrawn stood a few steps away, his shadow blocking the light from Ezra's vision. "Did you find a planet suitable for our objectives?"

"Yeah," Ezra panted. "They've got space stations in their orbit. Lots of life on the surface."

"Excellent." Thrawn's praise was clipped and short. He sought no further elaboration. "Now for the complicated part."

"That wasn't the hard part?!" Ezra felt the ship's nerves getting to him.

Thrawn continued as if Ezra hadn't spoken. "Now that you have found our destination, you must guide the Chimaera to it. To simplify matters, you will not take the ship into hyperspace until after we have left the asteroid field."

"I'm driving the ship? I've never flown a ship this big!" Ezra stood up and began to panic. He kicked the modified TIE helmet on accident. "How did the purrgil do this?"

Thrawn cocked his head slightly. "What were your expectations when I asked you to navigate with the Force?"

"I don't know! Find the planet, point your helmsman the right way… give directions."

"Can you mentally conceive of the true speed of hyperspace?"

"I… know it's fast."

Thrawn shook his head. He picked the TIE helmet up off the ground. "It is faster than light. The ship will be moving too fast for the navigator and the pilot to have separate roles. In a navicomputer's jump, the ship is being flown autonomously. You have seen General Syndulla retake the controls of her ship after a hyperspace jump, have you not?"

"Well, yeah."

"General Syndulla, for all her talents, is not piloting a ship in hyperspace. The Ghost's navigational computer handles such matters."

"How does that help me? Hera is the greatest pilot I know. If she can't fly a ship at hyperspeed, what chance do I have?"

Thrawn took a breath in. He held the TIE helmet back out to Ezra. "The reason General Syndulla could not perform such a feat is because she cannot see her path ahead in hyperspace. To the unassisted eye, hyperspace is composed solely of blue lines. To see what one must see while traveling faster than light, an individual requires a different sight entirely. You, young Bridger, have the Force. The Force gives you an additional sense of sight.

"As I have explained to you before, there exist navigators in the Unknown Regions who use their abilities regularly for this purpose. While this action may be unfamiliar to you, it is not impossible." Thrawn sighed, a look of consternation taking over his features. "Ezra Bridger. For as long as I have opposed you, I have witnessed you accomplish more than anyone in the Empire assessed you being capable of. I suspect you have surpassed your own expectations on occasion. Do not place limits on yourself now."

Ezra blinked. Never in his life had he thought he'd hear Thrawn attempt to motivate him. For all his references to Hera, his pep talks weren't as inspiring as hers. Still, they helped him realize one thing: through the Force, anything was possible. If Ezra kept his mind away from fear, he could follow the path he'd staked out earlier. This time with a ship.

He took the TIE helmet back from Thrawn. "Show me the ship's controls."

Thrawn nodded, eyes solemn. He led Ezra to the helmsman's station and walked him through the relevant controls. Most of the panel was useless for Ezra's purposes. When Thrawn finished his explanation, Ezra felt like he understood, but he wished he'd had time to practice before being thrown off the deep end. He kept his eyes screwed shut while learning which controls to use so he'd be able to find them blind.

"I will have a helmsman on call nearby to take over when we exit hyperspace. Do not attempt to steer the ship in real space." Thrawn's tone was grave. "I will take over in the case of extreme circumstances."

Ezra froze. "What do you mean 'extreme circumstances?' Do you think the planet will attack us?"

"Do not concern yourself with such details. As we have established, your mission is difficult enough at present. You will perform your role, and I shall handle mine." Booking no argument, Thrawn activated his comm. "This is Grand Admiral Thrawn to all crew. Prepare for exit from the asteroid field. Fighters, clear our path."

A squadron of TIE fighters blasted the asteroids in front of the Chimaera to bits. Leaning over Ezra's shoulder, Thrawn steered the ship through the path they'd opened. Ezra pulled the helmet over his head while Thrawn worked. Because Thrawn was so close to him, he could still hear the muffled sound of Thrawn's voice when he spoke again on the comm. Probably telling the TIE pilots to get back on the ship.

Thrawn put a hand on Ezra's shoulder to let him know it was time. Ezra would have to reflect on the absurdity of the touch later. For now, his only focus was on entering his meditative state. Seeing through his other set of eyes, fast enough to detect changes to hyperspace.

Ezra's fingers closed around the lever. The planet appeared on Ezra's mental scope. The path ahead was blessedly straight. Ezra was one with the Force. For certain this time.

He pulled the lever.

A/N's: My finals are over for the semester! I have, like, two weeks to write before I start my summer job. Life is good.

So this is it. The end of Arc 1. It took me 49K words to get the Chimaera out of an asteroid field. I hope the buildup was worth it. Otherwise, I apologize for boring y'all. You've stuck with me this far, so that's something, right?

I'm gonna focus on updating an old Ace Attorney fic of mine next, but a warning about the next chapter: I don't know that I'll have to switch to an M rating yet, but expect it to be violent. No further notes.

Thanks for reading, everyone! Feel free to let me know what you think in the comments.