Aidzuki's pov
I look into the mirror at myself. Or is that me. I looked as If I could drop dead any moment. My skin is paler then ever and i looked smaller then before. Signaling that I lost a bit of weight. I look directly into my eyes and see them puffy and red and i had bags. I'm not surprised i hardly sleep anymore.
Instead I spend my time crying and writhing in pain. Which I still don't understand.
It's been nearly a month since the talk with ja- him. I cut my self off when an ache rises in my chest. Why am I still hurting. I didn't expect to be over it by now but I also didn't expect to get worse.
I look worse then bella. But of coarse I do. She was kept up by nightmares but she still took care of her self as well as she could.
I barely make it to the shower before I turn around and decide i should just lay back down. Then I'd hole myself back in there for a day or two and try again.
Bella has noticed somethings up since she rarely sees me though we live in the same house. She would bring food up to me and sits on the bed and watch me eat to make sure I finished. She never witnessed it come back up. She would also sometimes sleep in my room and hug me to her chest until i fell asleep which were far and in between I never showed her my pain or tears thinking she's been through enough on her own.
But bella had a life of her own and couldn't always tend to me. She was often down in La'push so that she's better protected. She'd invite me along but i always declined and she stopped asking why.
I wasn't wanted there.
Charlie was almost never home. And when he was he was sleeping or on the couch working on reports or watching TV. So I doubt he knew anything but who won last sunday.
I don't even remember the last time I used the stairs. I would go out the window and sit in the tree whenever I didn't smell a wolf near so that i can atleast get some fresh. And if I ever caught a whiff of a certain someone it'd always send me into a bout of pain. So I didn't go out often.
Anyways I look down at a snake wrapped around my ankle and i manage a smile a genuine one that could only be for her. She hasn't left my side since I became like this. She was there through everything. And since bella knew about her she'd snuggle with us, licking my face before I close my eyes.
I felt selfish because I knew that bella was also still hurt so I have no idea why I don't comfort her anymore. Maybe because she had him. And she WAS getting better.
I hear a knock on my door so I go and open it smelling bella on the other side. She smiles at me but I couldn't return it if I wanted to.
"No bella. I don't want to go." Her smile turned sad. But there was something else in her eye that I couldn't place.
"I know I came here to tell you that charlie is out hunting the wolves who are most likely hunting victoria." I noded. It's pathetic but it's all I can think to do.
"Anyways if you need anything call me ok. I'm on my way out." She said. The way she said that didn't sound right. But all I did was nod again. She hugs me and pulls back a smile on her face once more.
I don't dwell on how fake her smile looks and return her hug just wanting to go outside since she said the wolves are likely busy. She walks away and I close the door going to the window and throwing it open. I sniffed and find that no fresh wolf scents are around. I brace myself on the windowsill shakily my balance not what it used to be. I jump to the outstretched branch and crawl along it until I was able to put my back against the tree.
I inhaled deeply and ended up coughing. I clear my throat and wipe the tears from my eyes that it caused. The wind blew and i breathed in slower this time. Hoshi slithers up my leg and settles in my lap before turning into a raccoon. I lay both hands on her and stroke gently.
"You know hoshi I like this spot alot it's so relaxing." She looks up at me briefly then lays back down. She makes a few small sounds.
I scoff. "You already know I'm thinking about HIM. I can't seem to stop."
Jacob's POV
'DAMMIT!' I snarl at the red headed who somehow avoided my jaws when I tackled her off and away from harry. We tumbled and i hurry to my feet and glare into the blood red eyes of Victoria.
She doesn't make a move so I charge at her. She stays there still as a statue so I was sure I would have gotten her until she flips over me suddenly and i snap at her trying to follow her movement.
'Damn she is fast!' I yell mentally.
'Focus jacob' sam says.
I watch as she glares before turning and speeding away. I immediately gave chase hearing the foot falls of my brothers join mine. And we all let our minds go blank and focus on catching victoria.
As I'm running I swear I catch bella's scent for a split second but i don't stop running.
'Wow bella really has a type.' I hear Jared's voice.
'Yeah, obsessive supernatural stalkers.' Embry added in.
'Hey! I'm not obsessive or a stalker. That was cullen!' I defend myself.
'Oh I don't think pacing in her backyard is normal and that was before victoria' embry said.
I growl about to reply to that when sam speaks up. 'This isn't the time nor place for this. Get serious!' He says in his authority tone.
We all quiet down and get back to chasing victoria. Bella was still on my mind though the smell of her scent unmistakable.
'She's not in any danger as far as we know jacob relax.' Sam tries and soothes me. It doesn't work.
Victoria jumps over a big ass fallen tree and we have no problems following her. She was just a couple of feet ahead which is where she stayed and it was annoying not being able to get something that's right there.
It only served to piss us off more.
Wanting the chase to be over i speed up my pace steadily getting closer to the vampire. I lunge forward my mouth wide and ready to snag onto anything an arm, leg, her throat, even some hair. Anything to bring her down.
But instead my canines meet air once again. I don't stop running and i keep lunging until she stops suddenly. I don't stop but realize that we have made it to the cliffs and she is standing at the edge.
I lunge a final time but she just twists and jumps. I watch her fall until she hits the water all the while growling deep in my chest. I'm distracted again thorough by that lavender scent I recognize as bella's.
'So she is here. Why? Haven't we told her it's dangerous.' When I come to the conclusion that she was headed my way I creep back into the forest to change into my human form and put clothes on.
Much to my surprise I see her walk up to the edge and just stand there looking down at the waters below. She looked to be debating something.
'Was she planing on jumping?' My mental question doesn't wait long for an answer as she jumps over the edge after giving herself, what seems to be, a pep talk. Right into the same water as the red head.
I panic and quickly run to the edge to go after her. As soon as i make it to the edge i look down to see her resurface a shocked look that matched mine on her face that then turns into a victorious smile.
I smile along with her as i was about to head down the cliff side. But i stop when I spot a giant wave coming.
Oh fuck. She's insane! I scream mentally the situation dawning on me when she gets pulled under. She struggles to resurface until she no longer visible to me. Knowing i wouldn't make it down in time I decided my best option was to just jump.
And i do without a second thought. I hit the water and open my eyes beneath the surface and look around. I spot her slowly sinking looking dazed before she closes her eyes. I swim to her and grab her arm, swimming to the shore of the beach I hoist us both up over the water for some much needed air.
When I make it to the shore I speed up my pace to get bella out and layed on the sand.
"Bella you idiot." I say then give her mouth to mouth. She doesn't respond.
Shit. "Breathe. Breathe." I start chest compressions on her not taking my eyes off her face scared to miss a reaction.
"Breathe. Come on bella breathe." I give her mouth to mouth again and she spews up almost all the water she swallows. She looks at me with unfocused eyes still in that daze I saw her in.
"Bella! Bella can you hear me? Are you ok." I ask relieved.
"Jake?" She responds lowly. Sounding tired.
I give another sigh "come here." I help her sit up little.
"What the hell where you thinking?" I scolded a little upset she'd put herself in danger like that.
She looked at me with a hollow gaze. "I-I just wanted to see something." I look at her like she's crazy. Which, she is. I shake my head not understanding.
"Get her home! We're going to help out at Harry's place." I hear sam yell. I nod in acknowledgement. He nods back and jogs away.
Bella adjusts herself and clears her throat "What happened as Harry's?"
I sigh as the light atmosphere becomes slightly heavy.
"Harry Clearwater had a heart attack. Charlie and my dad are over at his place with his family." Bella takes on a worried look like i knew she would.
"Is he ok?" I shake my head. "He's gone." She looks at me a little shocked by the news. He was old but the fact that he passed away was still a shock. I can only imagine what his family is feeling.
I shake my head and start to lift bella thinking it better to get a move on so he could help in anyway he could.
He knows what it's like to lose a parent. And of the only things that got him through that was those close to him. Aidzuki, for example, never left my side he'd be there when I cried and never judge me for it. He'd comfort me when my dad went through a alcoholic faze soon after and was hardly there for the twins and i. And the twins were mostly there for eachother and would hold me once and awhile.
I don't blame them though. Everyone grieves in their own way. But If I didn't have him then I would of never laughed again. Or got over it for that matter.
I push those thoughts way back. I've been doing good so far, not thinking about him. It was better this way, like sam said. Cause I'd just forget about him when I imprint. And as sam told me an imprint is how a wolf finds their mate, the best one to carry on the gene. So it could only be between man and woman.
And if I'm gonna imprinted on some girl I'd rather it be bella.
I shake my head again "come on. Let's get you in something dry." I say to bella. She stands without hesitation already shivering from the slightly cold blowing wind.
(⊙○⊙)
Aidzuki pov
It was getting dark so I decided to go inside the house. While I was crawling along the branch I heard someone pulling up. I could tell by the sound that it wasn't bella's truck. Oh great. A stranger.
Atleast I thought untill the wind blew my way and a familiar scent came with it. Shocked I hurry inside my window just as there's a knock at the front door. I swing the door open and run downstairs all the way to the front door.
I stop to breath for just a second my hand on the doorknob. Then i open it to reveal someone I never thought I'd see again. At least not so soon.
"Alice?" I ask as If my eyes were playing tricks on me.
"Where's bella? Is she alright." She said in a rush looking around me for said girl.
Sigh. Of course.
"She isn't here. She's been gone all day. She went down to the reser-" I didn't get to finish that sentence before being interupted.
"No, I was to late." Alice sagged with a guilty saddened look on her face.
Starting to get even more worried then before i glare at Alice shifting on my feet nervously "Alice, tell me what's going on." I demanded.
She stood up straight her expression the same."I had a vision." She said simply. By the look on her face she expects me to work out the rest.
Not feeling up to much of anything lately I just nod and ask "ok. What was it about." Obviously I knew it had to be about one Isabella swan and it couldn't be good.
Alice sighed and invited herself all the way in taking a seat on the sofa and staring at me with unblinking eyes. I raise an eyebrow at her expecting an immediate answer to something seemingly so important.
She rolls her eyes and pats the seat next to her. I nod again and move to sit. Since I've gotten 'sick' my energy levels have gotten lower and lower. Meaning since I used alot of the little energy I had running down to answer I couldn't just 'flash' to the couch like alice did. Matter of fact I was even walking a bit slow.
"Aidzuki are you alright?" She asks concerned. I just smile at her and nod. Forcing smiles is easy when I was around bella but the suspicion on Alice's face told me it might be harder with a cullen.
I huff "I'm ok alice. I just came down with something." She relaxed a little but remained doubtful.
In all honesty I couldn't tell anyone what was wrong with me. All i know is I woke up really weak after that night when ja- he rejected me. Besides having trouble getting out of bed I found that the pain spread throughout my body. I proceeded to collapse.
I sit down on the couch slowly giving alice another expecting look. "Now tell me what's going on. Did something happen to bella."
"I don't know." She furrowed her brow. "But I do know that if bella isn't here there's a chance that she's dead..." she says sadly.
My eyes widen. "Dead! What? How?"
"I don't know if this is what I saw but it looked like bella committed suicide by jumping off the cliffs. Cause after she hits her head her future goes blank. I haven't been able to see anything since then." I struggle to stand up quickly just ending up on my ass again.
"I have to see if she's ok." A flash of her fake smile enters my mind. Damn! Why didn't I stop her. Or ask her what's wrong.
"Ok. But i can't go to La'push, I'll get torn apart. I hope she's ok. I know how short tempered they can-" I cut her off.
"That's true but i have no doubt she's safe with ja- him." She raised an eyebrow at me.
"Who jacob? He fazed already?" She sounded genuinely surprised. I simply nod finally getting to my feet.
Just as i was about to head out the door I could hear a familiar car pulling up. It was bella's truck. I'd know that jacked up sound anywhere. Alice and i lock eyes and in a moment alice is standing by the door. I could tell she was listening. As she wasn't even so much as breathing.
Fake breathing that is.
I could hear the passenger side open but then immediately close again. There was some inaudible speaking and i press myself up against the door trying to hear better.
Suddenly the door opens again and I could hear a familiar voice clear as day.
"Don't go bella it's a trick!" My heart literally skipped a beat when I heard his voice. I could see Alice looking at me strangely. I ignore it.
I could hear bella's fast approaching footsteps. She must've spotted the car. Her footsteps are then joined by another "stop! you have to come with me" there's then a small pained grunt undoubtedly bella's and the the sound of some scraping as if she was stopped abruptly.
I shifted on my feet holding back from just swinging the door open. I don't think I could handle seeing him especially with her. There where a couple of seconds of just breathing.
"They won't hurt me." She tried to reassure him.
"If a cullen is back here this is their territory, treaty says we can only defend on our own lands. I can't protect you here." He said in a rush a bit on edge.
"You don't have to." She says calmly. "They can protect me."
More silence and labored breathing.
"You're about to cross a line." His voice took on an agitated tone. Despite the things that happened between us I was annoyed to find my body still responded to him. Like how I feel like I need to comfort him to keep him from being angry.
"Then don't draw one." Bella pleads above a whisper. She swallows "please" She begs further a bit clearer.
Her footsteps then resume getting closer to the house and i back from the door to avoid getting hit in the face. Bella soon after burst through the door looking around before realizing she couldn't see and flicks on the light.
She looks around and spots me which makes her jump. She opens her mouth to ask a question I seen coming so I just point behind her. She spins quickly coming face to face with a relieved alice. Both of their eyes wide.
"Alice!" She chokes out before throwing her arms around said vampire. Alice gladly catches her and they share a embrace... for about a split second.
"Bella." She says shocked gently pushing her away. Bella's instantly regrets what she just did knowing that Alice's control isn't very perfect.
"Sorry, I just like- I just can't believe you're here." She says excitedly but it only shows in her voice. Her expression says that she's waiting for her to disappear.
"I-is-"
"Would you like to explain to me how you're alive." Alice interupts her. Her face changing from relief to disbelief.
Bella stares confused at her "what?"
"I saw a vision of you. You jumped off a cliff!" There was a short pause. "Why the hell would you try to kill yourself?!" She asks angrily.
She huffs "I mean like what about charlie? What abou-"
"I didn't try to kill myself. I was cliff jumping, recreationally. It was.. fun."She rushes to explain. Alice just sighs.
Bella just breathes in deep and so don't i. I was glad I didn't lose another best friend.
...
Bella, alice, and I were seated on the couch. Well the where I sat know the floor between them.
"I have never met anyone more prone to life threatening idiocy." Alice's opening statement made me look away awkwardly mostly so bella wouldn't see how much I agreed with it.
There was silence as bella hung her head. I just stayed quiet not feeling it's my time to talk.
"I wa- did you tell him?" She shyly asks.
Alice shakes her head. "No."
Sighing again she looks up into bella face before reverting them. "He only calls in once and awhile, he says that he just wants to be alone." She purses her lips.
Yup that sounds like...uh...mmm...Johnny. damn I forgot his name. I know for sure this time it's not squidward for sure.
A smell makes me on alert suddenly. It's been so long since I smelled it but it was the most unmistakable smell to me. Something wild, earthy, and exotic. I shuddered.
"What is that God aweful wet dog smell." Alice says her face contorted.
"Uh that's probably me..." Bella sits up and shift. "I mean, it's jacob." My heart once again skips a beat as i hear the name i don't think I can ever say again.
"Jacob who?" Alice asks.
"Jacob's kind of a werewolf." Was bella's reply. Yeah kind of.
Alice breathes incredulously "Bella werewolves are not good company to keep."
I could hear him snort as that and sense him approaching so I quickly stood up gaining the two girls attention. "I agree." Bella looked shocked at me.
I heard his steps falter at that and i went to find a place where I could hear the discussion without seeing his face.
It'd just cause me pain. I don't even know if I can handle his voice.
"Speak for yourself. " Jacob says. His entrance causes a pause of silence.
I could hear alice stand up. "I had to see you were safe." He says to bella. Geeze he just enters and my blood is already boiling.
There was more silence "I thought you couldn't protect me here." She said sounding just a tad bit cocky.
"Guess I don't care." He says.
I resisted a growl. I never hated jacob. I could never unlove him and i don't know why. But i wish he wouldn't...flaunt his...relationship with bella around me. Knowing i was hurt by it.
I sigh. They didn't even do anything aidzuki calm down.
"Well I'm not gonna hurt her." Alice says breaking the fog I wasn't ready to go back under.
"Nah, you're just a harmless cullen. We're talking about the bloodsuckers who tried to kill her because of you." He replies sarcastically.
"Victoria?" Alice asks who I don't know.
"Yeah, Victoria's been around." Bella answers.
"I didn't see her." The pixie haired vampress says confused.
"I didn't see you get pulled out of the water either." Alice sounded as if her gear were turning to fast.
"I can't see past you and your pack of mutts." She spat in realization.
There was a deep growl. "Don't. get me. Upset." He said between breathes. I hear him shuffle, probably closer to alice.
Then another noise that sounded like the couch. "Hey." Came bella's warning. "Stop."
"Or things will get VERY ugly." He said low and dangerous. A harsh shiver runs through my body and i exhales just as harshly. Stupid body. Stay right here.
I then inhale as pain burst through my very core and i resist crying out not wanting the attention. I cover my mouth with both hands and rock myself back and forth shoving a whine back down my throat. Tears collect and i wipe them away. It passes and i am left there a little breathless.
I'm distracted by bella's voice "uhm..."
"I'll give you guys a minute." Alice says her voice calmer then i know she feels. I then hear her footsteps coming my way.
I straighten out and dust myself off as she enters. She smiles kindly at me. "Hello alice it's been awhile." I said in a raspy voice. I watch her smile drop