A/N: just so everyone knows I do plan on rewriting this after its finished for I am aware of the spelling errors. And there are parts that need touching up. But i will not take it down. Only repost it chapter by chapter. So please bare with me. And thank you to all who supported my first story up to this point. ?
Aidzuki's pov
When his name slipped off my tongue he smiled a bit sadly at me. He was going to say something but was interupted by his room door opening he looks away from me just as Carlisle is coming out.
Covered in blood and a bit disheveled he stands before us in the living room. He looks at everyone in the room his eyes lingering on me for a second longer. His brows furrow but whatever he wanted to say he decided this wasn't the moment.
"She is stable, and is also healing quickly. I found that she was stabbed with a dagger with an unknown poison that slowed down her healing but since I took care of her wounds she has a big chance of surviving." He paused to take an unneeded breath. "Unless that poison causes some other damage, none that I've seen so far, she should be waking in a little while."
Everyone nods when he finishes. Billy however wheels himself up to Carlisle "How long is a little while Dr. Cullen, I don't mind her healing here but I am curious. And we have to prepare."
"Of course. She could take up to two to three days to wake up but about a week and a half to heal completely." Carlisles says. Billy nods.
"Anything we need to do to care for her?" Jacob asks from his kneeling place infront of me.
Carlisle turns to him "yes. Please clean her wound and change her bandages every three to four hours to avoid an infection. Also keep her leg straight and elevated for proper healing." He says professionally like he was talking to staff at the hospital.
After he completes his diagnosis everyone just kinda...stares at eachother. It's not awkward more tense then anything.
"I think that'd be a good idea Carlisle." Edward says out of literally freaking nowhere.
Carlisle nods nonetheless apparently understanding what was going on. He then turns to me. "I want to give you a quick check up while we're both in the same place, I was on my break and it's up in about five minutes, do you mind?"
I whine "but you checked me out yesterday." I didn't much like being poked and prodded at. And plus I was surrounded by people which did nothing for my already high nerves cause of jacob being so close, calm, and nice all of the sudden.
"I understand but i am concerned that your condition is progressing at an alarming rate. Maybe I can find the cause since I was unable to before." He does make a good point. About how it progresses quickly not him finding the cause. I already knew the cause. I reluctantly sigh and nod and he flashes behind jacob.
Jacob wordlessly grinds his teeth and moves to the side when the doctor asks him to and then the platinum blonde kneels in front of me. I lean limply against bella while he begins to check me over. I pay close attention to his facial expressions and don't like the ones he makes. He looks so concerned almost scared and that only seems to scare me.
"It seems it's the same symptoms as yesterday but increasingly worse. It's like you organs... refuse to work properly. When's the last time you've consumed anything?" To this question I just shrug.
Bella rolls her eyes and answers for me "He hasn't eaten in days, well he has but he can't keep anything down not even water. He also sleeps alot and complains about pain." I pout at her.
"I do not complain..." I mumble.
"Yes you do." Bella says back.
"I don't know where to go from here aidzuki. If your condition keeps progressing this way well..." He just looked meaningfully at me and it didn't take long for me to know what went unsaid.
"So you're saying there's nothing you could do?" That was jacob. He whispered the words sounding close to tears but i dare not look to check. Cause I know it had to be in my head.
Carlisle nods his head. "I'm afraid so..."
Wow, it sounds like an episode from a medical drama up in here. I think to myself. I chance a look at jacob and he's staring at me with grief like I've already died. And i find it hard to look at him for any longer after seeing his expression. I can't look him in the eyes knowing it was my jacob. That it might be a trick.
Carlisle stands while checking his watch. "I think you should stay with my family so that i may closely monitor you." I just shrug again but just barely. I watch jacob tense a little, but it's not like he cares though? Right? Right.
"Whatever you say doc." I said. Carlisle nods and rushes out the door to go back to work ...I guess. He pauses and looks back at edward. They silently stare at eachother
Edward just nods seconds later. "Bella, edward will help move aidzuki out tomorrow so that he has time to call ahead and they can prepare a room. This will take place so I was wondering if you could stay with aidzuki? If you aren't busy." The doctor slipped from professional to fatherly instantly.
Bella smiled lookjng a bit disappointed.
"I think it's a good idea. I'll pick you two up in the morning and bring you to our house ok?" Edward spoke. More like watch bella sleep all night then pretend like he just got there in the morning.
Someone clears their throat. "I wanna help..." came Jacob's voice. And a silence fell over the room as edward traded glances with billy, sam, and i. Those two nod though billy does reluctantly. I just blink at him. But my mind is a panicked mess.
Why is he doing this? He was so sure about what he wanted. So clear. And i may not know what that is exactly but i do know it's not me. But now he wants to be a friend again. I guess.
But that's the thing. At the beginning before I knew he had feelings for me to, all I wanted was to be his friend. If only to stay by his side. But then we both confessed and it was like he woke a part of me that now never sleeps. That always pictured us together, happy and lovey dovey and everyone happy that we were happy. But life wasn't a fairytail and i wasn't getting my happy ending apparently.
After that day in the woods, that short but intense moments, that part of me just exploded and the shards tore through my heart. It tied around my lungs and now I can't breath. It blanketed my brain in a dark place where I was tortured by his image, his smile, his laugh, his emotion filled eyes, any and everything under the fucking sun about him haunted me since then.
And now here he was that stupid determined look on his face just hoping to defend himself against the next one to so much as breath.
"I don't see an issue with that. Maybe he can stay here with you while bella and i pack up his things. I couldn't bring him by or you can pick him up if you want." Edward says. I didn't miss the way bella's face lights up. I roll my eyes.
"You guys just want to make out on my stuff." I teased. Bella blushed and denied it. I manage a small smile and she nudges me gently. Jacob sits on the ground next to my legs and nods his head looking a bit happy.
"Great, i agree he should probably spend the night here so you and bella could just move him in quicker. Probably less stress on him to. If that's ok with you pops?" Jacob asked turning to the man with a pleading face. I can't believe he's making plans with his worst 'enemy'.
Billy glances at sam. That strange thing that they've been doing since we got here. After a minute Billy nods slowly. "Yes."
Jacob pumps his fist a little. Like a plan fell into place. I'd narrow my eyes if I didn't think I'd just fall asleep.
I like how they just made my plans for tomorrow without even looking at me once. That's sarcasm by the way. The last thing I want is to be stuck with jacob here all day.
Maybe he wanted to extend some sort of olive branch. Make 'peace'. Offer his friendship But i don't know if I even really wanna be here right now.
Not like i had a choice. I literally woke up in Edward's backseat.
Isn't that kidnapping?
Anyways I don't need anyone to feel bad for me. If he wanted to be friends he should've said so from the beginning not wait untill i have one foot in the grave. Not like i could even say his name at that time.
"So I guess everything's set. It won't take long to make aidzuki a room at the mansion. We'll pick him up at the border. Since the treaty was lifted only today for this emergency." Edward snaps me out of my thought.
Am I the only one who still can't believe they were agreeing on something, edward and jacob. I didn't think that they could be in the same room after their meeting when the cullens came back.
But i guess the treaty isn't the only thing on hold today.
Jacob nods with a satisfied smile on his face. Edward stands up and helps me lean against the back of the couch so he and bella can go. He hold out a hand to her and she takes it.
Once on her feet bella turns to me "bye ai, see you tomorrow." She then leans down and hugs me gently. She moves towards my ear.
"I don't know what you're thinking but just give it a chance ok?" She said vaguely knowing the that some jn the room can hear despite her whispering. I wanted to act like I had no idea what she's talking about but decided it would be best not to make her worry about me.
I could see a little worry on her face already.
Her and Edward then leave and I'm left with the three quailutes. In silence. Awkward awkward silence.
Yup loving it already. Note the sarcasm once again.
Sam shifts on his feet "I think I should be going to. Jacob don't forget your patrolling shift tonight." Sam nods and walks to where the back door was.
It was silent once more after the sound of the back door rings through the small house. Jacob stands and looks down at me and I look back him struggling to maintain eye contact.
He rubs the back of his head " sooo, what do you usually do at the swan house?"
I shrug weakly "sleep." I answer. He gives me a 'really' look. He didn't think I was playing right? I wasn't being smart either. When he sees I'm not joking his face morphs into one of worry.
He shakes his head "Well that's not happening while you're here with me. How about we go outside? You up for it?"
I nod weakly. Bella never went outside with me. Not that that's a bad thing. She was afraid I'd catch something so the most she'd do was sit me by an open window. Which I enjoyed i didn't feel like someone coming by and staring at me with pity. Plus bella was good company she always did things to keep me from getting bored.
I just wish I could repay her. But as Carlisle made me understand that won't be happening.
"I'm up for it. If you're up for carrying me everywhere." I rasp out.
Jacob nods "of course. We should go now since we won't have much time. It's noon. Then we can come here and try to eat something?"
I don't say anything. Jacob takes that as I'm ok with whatever and walk disappears in the back where his room is. He returns with his arms full of folded clothes. He set them aside and goes somewhere else coming back with a blanket and pillow.
"Well I'm gonna take the couch tonight. You can sleep in the guest room." I still stay quiet but nod for his benefit. He sighs.
When he finishes setting up he grabs a shirt from the pile and put it on. Billy says thay he has something he has to do and excuses himself. Jacob walks over to me and kinda just stands there. He exhales hard.
"Well here goes nothing." He mumbles. He leans down and slowly and gently grabs my arms. I couldn't stop the gasp that escaped me when electricity stronger then anything I've felt before shoot from my arms throughout my whole body. I could tell jacob felt it by the way he paused for a long moment.
When the feeling calms he continues to wrap my arms around his neck and i hold on weakly as he put one arm under my legs and scoops me up. I'm held against a warm chest and Jacob adjust me till we were both comfortable.
I see him frown deeply "you're so...light." He whispers.
He walks us to the front door and i reach to open he helps by binding down. He walks outside and and closes the door with his foot.
I breath in the fresh air a bit shallow not wanting to send myself into a coughing fit. Jacob chooses a direction and starts walking.
"You know, I really wanted to talk to you today aidzuki?" Jacob says after we're far from his house.
I shake my head and lay against his shoulder. "About what?"
He takes a turn and suddenly we're in the woods but he continues walking. "I- well, it something really important. And i wanted to say that...I'm sorry."
My eyes widen at that. He's sorry? "What exactly are you sorry about?" I asked. There's a range of things he could be apologizing for. So I asked even if I was almost completely certain.
He was quiet for a long while he turns his face away from me "I was wrong. About...us. And i had no right to treat you the way I did. I just-"
"Stop." I didn't want to hear this. My chest gave a small throb of pain but it was bearable so I didn't draw attention to it. I didn't want him to apologize because I was dying and he felt like he should make a mends.
I was expecting him to apologize about his treatment but not to admit he was wrong. Does that mean he does want me? No! There's no way.
And yes he was wrong more wrong then he could ever know and I'm glad he recognizes that. But even if I let him apologize I'm not sure I could forgive him. Atleast not right now.
"Aidzuki..." He says sadly.
"No jacob. I don't know what this is but I don't want to hear it. You hurt me. And i can't forgive you for that. For leaving me. For a long time I didn't even wanna think your name! I don't even know why I'm here." Jacob stopped walking after that.
For a long while he didn't do anything he stood there. It was so long I actually started to worry I broke him for a second."Jac?-"
"Why are you here? You had every opportunity to say you didn't want to stay here. But you didn't. I'm glad you didn't though even now. But why?" He suddenly sat down. Right where he was standing on the ground causing me to yelp.
Which put me in his lap. Despite my current feelings I still blushed.
I used Jacob's shoulder to sit up and i looked him in the eyes "because I didn't want to die knowing my best friend and I were on bad terms. But you and i know we are more to eachother then just best friends.-"
I inhaled and exhaled "-even more reason to stay. When I came here you were actually acknowledging I was there." I started tearing up. "You looked happy to see me. But even after Carlisle said I'm not getting any better. I still hated being in the same room as you. But i wouldn't forgive myself if I knew we left off like this."
It's not like i planned this. But the opportunity arose and i took it. But i was saddened to think I'd be happier if I never saw jacob before I went. Cause it meant less memories which meant less pain. Plus I didn't think he cared about me anymore. Let alone if I was suddenly gone.
"So you hate me now?" Jacob asked his voice sadder then i thought it'd be.
I shook my head "No but you have no idea how much i hate being here right now. That's why I wanted to stay. So that my last memories were happy and loving."
Jacob looked down. "I wish you wouldn't speak like that. You never know you might get better."
I frowned. I could get better but it won't just happen and I didn't want to force anyone to do something they didn't want to.
"That's beside the point jake. I've tried jacob but not loving you is not an option. But that doesn't mean I can't be angry with you. And i am, you make me dizzy. Cause of all those circles you like to run. One minute you're... you the next you're not." I said hoping it made since to him.
He looked away and nodded. He looked guilty as he bowed his head "I was scared, you were right about that. But it wasn't for the reason you think. I don't love bella, and i only ever think about you in that way. I just- sam told me something that scared me."
I raise an eyebrow, I knew from the start it was something sam told him. But what exactly that was is beyond me.
"You see wolves have this...thing they do when they find their...mate." Jacob clears his throat.
"I was actually on my way to bella's to talk about this when I smelled that women's blood. But what we do is called imprinting. When we see our mates for the first time after we phase. When a wolf imprints they change, the imprintee becomes the center of their universe. Makes us want to protect that person. we'd do anything for them. Be anything for them." He finishes and gives me a look like he was begging me to understand.
"And have you i-imprinted?" I was hesitant to ask. Jacob bites his lip and nods. That's it my life was over.
"That's why I was scared. Sam told me that if i were with you I could hurt you when I imprinted. He said imprinting on the same gender was impossible. If I denied my imprint...well you see what happened to emily." He said.
I nodded. I looked down at my lap where my hands were fiddling with eachother. So he imprinted on some girl, which couldn't be bella, that's why he left me. Cause he was afraid I'd get hurt, that turned out great.
"W-who?" I had to know. It's like i couldn't be at ease until i knew. Whoever it was i hope they made eachother happy.
"Wait. If you didn't want to hurt me when you imprint then why would you be with bella. You weren't concerned you'd hurt her?" I had to ask.
It was obvious he didn't imprint on her. And i was happy to know jacob didn't want to hurt me but what about bella? He chased her relentlessly. Didn't he know she would get hurt to.
He snorted "No I wasn't. Bella didn't want me and deep down i know that's the only reason I started going after her again. The first time I was just denying who I was." I nod.
"And as for who I imprinted on..." I look up at him.
"I imprinted on...you." silence. Slowly my eyes grew wide as i registered what he had said. He imprinted...on me.
I couldn't say anything. But now I know what that was the day jacob nearly attacked edward. Jacob had imprinted.
Oh kami.