Jacob's pov
I did it. I told him. And now he was just sitting there in my lap wide-eyed. And i just waited for him to snap out of it himself so I to can collect my thought. I was terrified of what he'd say.
I know him well so I know he meant it when he said he'd probably won't forgive me anytime soon. But i was being dumb and once again hurt the both of us thinking I was doing the opposite.
Sigh, why was my love life always so hectic.
"That's why I'm no longer ignoring you, because I don't have to. And please understand that I only did it so I could resist you." I said.
Aidzuki slowly turned to me. There were tear streaks down both his cheeks. I reached up and wiped them away. He only shuddered and closed his eyes.
"I know you still can't forgive me. But i will be here for you no matter what from now on. I promise." Said putting emphasis on the promise.
He sighed and sniffled. He started shaking his head "No jacob I can't forgive you. I-" He stops to sob. I pull him closer to me and he doesn't protest "Jacob you don't know what you leaving did to me."
He became very emotional and i struggled to keep myself together hearing his heart broken sobs.
"I'm sorry." My voice shook with emotion.
He shook his head against my chest. He sat up and looked me straight in the eyes a little anger shining through his tears.
"Look at me jacob! I'm sick! Wasting away because I thought you didn't want me, didn't love me! Stop saying sorry cause sorry won't fix me jake." I stared at him shocked at what he just said.
I'm the reason he's dying.
"Aidzuki I had no idea I was the one doing this to you. Why didn't you tell me?" My voice broke into a whisper. I know asking why he didn't tell me was stupid but i was at a loss as to what to say. An overwhelming feeling of shame washed over me as my wolf whines at his pain.
"What would have been the point jacob, you made it clear you didn't want me then. You couldn't even look at me! And if I couldn't even keep you as a friend what would have been the point in living. And bella, kami jacob seriously. Just cause you couldn't be with me didn't mean you had to run to bella. Again." He ground out.
I pursed my lips
"So what if she didn't want you! I can understand needing a friend but you where trying to be with her jacob! And I know the real reason was so you could try and erase me. My memory. Why else would you ignore me like i wasn't there. An-" He said angry tears coming out of his frosty blue eyes. I interupt him.
"You're right! Ok. I know how I treated you was wrong. But i didn't have a choice. Sam ordered me to stay away and to break up with you. Bella was a loop hole he said I had to stay away from you but not her. I sometimes went to her house to just get drunk on your scent. You know it was hard after everyone I know in LA push found out about us. having my pack look at me weird whenever I thought about you, my dad literally recently started talking to me like his son again, and sam... it's like he hated me." I snapped. There is no excuse as to why I chased bella and at one point tried to kiss her...twice. but then again I'd thought I would imprint on her.
"Bella was like an escape from all that. She was my only friend then. She didn't look at me in disgust, but then again she doesn't even know about us. Somewhere during the time I spent with her i remembered why I liked her and i could see she liked me to, I thought I'd imprint on her. And no I'm not using this as an excuse. No ,after how hurt I was in shouldn't have did what I did. I'm well aware of the hard work I'll have to do for your forgiveness. And i will do it." I said with conviction.
I thought if I kissed bella, if I could just make our lips touch then maybe it would become clear that she was the one. That the easy rout was the way I was supposed to go. That sam was right and me and aidzuki just lusted after one another. But then i imprinted. On him...
He sniffles and furrows his brow. "So Sam ordered you to break up with me?" He asked just above a whisper having calmed down a little. I nodded.
Aidzuki's pov
He nods and my heart breaks. I'm sad to hear how Sam had treated jacob. Really I am. But i still can't forgive him. But it seems that we both have some healing to do.
"Jacob look, I know this was rough for the both of us. But that doesn't explain why you flaunted your feelings, fake or not, for bella. That hurt jacob." I said. He put his head down. I caress his cheek and make him look at me.
"But we can start over as friends. Just friends though jacob. And when you gain my trust I'll forgive you." There was no question whether or not we were getting back together. We are mates after all. And I'm not one to fool myself.
I wouldn't want to put jacob through what I went through. Revenge isn't my thing. And now I know jacob wasn't purposely rejecting me or making me feel rejected.
"I could be your slave for all i care I just need you back kai." I smile at the nickname jacob gave me when we were around twelve. Though he hasn't called me it in a while.
I sniffle once more and wipe my watery eyes from crying. We sit in silence for a couple more minutes before jacob decides to stand back up without warning. Once on his feet he gently sets me on my feet but not letting me go since I was to weak to even sit on my own.
"I think it would be better if you got on my back. Will you be able to hold on?" He asks.
I nod and with a ok he grabs my arms and maneuvers himself until i was look at his broad back and shoulders and kneels enough so that i could climb on without having to do much.
Once I was securely on he stood up straight and was once again walking. We were still going through the woods which me wonder where exactly we were going.
"Uhhh. Jake where are we going exactly?" I said and looked at his face as best as I could. If I was being honest it was strange being this close to him after so long of being so...'far'.
I see a smirk emerging on his face as he looks sideways to meet my eyes "Well i was gonna take you to the beach, but I need to relax so...we're going to my...happy place? Eh I haven't given it a name yet." He shrugged.
I nod and rest my chin on his shoulder "What's it like?" I ask after our much needed talk I could understand why jacob is so quiet. He has a lot to think about.
So I'm taking it upon myself to make conversation. "Nope! No spoilers. I want you to just see the place." Was his answer.
I raise a brow. "Awe is it a secret place?" I whisper for some reason. He gives a small chuckle at that.
"You do know we're in the middle of the forest right?" He says instead of answering my question.
I frown "Yeah so?" I glare at his annoying question dodging.
"Sooo there's no need to whisper." He says snidely in a whisper.
I roll my eyes "ok. IS IT COOL?!" I yell in his ear. He flinches and covers his ear with a hiss.
"Shit! Ow kai why the hell did you scream for?!" I snicker. "You said there's no need to whisper..." I say trying to sound innocent but failing.
"Yeah, then use your outside voice. Jeez I think you made me deaf." He rubbed his ear before dropping it to his side.
He took another turn and ducked under a low hanging branch. He came to some thick foliage that looked like a bunch of low hanging vines. My only warning was a smirk before he stepped straight through said vines.
When we emerge on the other side I gasp as I'm surrounded by more foliage but that looks like nature has formed a hidden hallway made of entangled plants and the roots of the tree lining the path.
"Woah!" I whisper. Seeing how the light streams beautifully through it giving it an ethereal feel to it.
"Beautiful right. But this isn't the place this is just the entrance." Wow well if this was the entrance then i wonder what the actual place looks like.
I noticed how he slowed his steps which I am grateful for I'd love to enjoy the scenery.
"Ok, so you see there?" He points ahead. I follow his finger and see a wide open opening that was slightly dark inside. I nod.
"That's the place." He says. I nod again and smile excitedly. It was a new place and i like new things. Though I was still a little upset from our earlier talk it was nice to let go of those problems. Even for just a minute.
Nice to finally relax since I've been stressed since that day I walked away from jacob in the forest when he told me we couldn't be together. But in this moment that pressure in my head was relieved.
I don't know if it's cause of me being so close to my mate or if it was because he was no longer rejecting me. But either way I'm glad to feel that I was slowly getting better already. I didn't even realize at the time when I was on jakes lap that I'd sat up by myself. Though albeit shakily.
It was improvement. And i hold no illusions that me and Jacob are back to being the best of friends but hey if life is gonna be as short as it feels right now might do as well enjoy it.
"Ok! We're here. Now close your eyes." Jacob brought me out of my thoughts. I raise an brow at him but my eyes slide closed anyway.
It's not like i can see all that well in the first place. But i don't want to make anything about this day anymore difficult then it already has been.
There was shuffling and i heard the moment Jacob's feet hit something more solid opposed to the ground covered in dead leaves. And i could see the light change through my eyelids to something much darker. And i could tell that we were in a slightly narrower place.
My eyebrows shoot up when I hear the sound of naturally flowing water causing air to make my hair move around a bit wildly.
I pout impatiently "can i open up yet?" I got no answer but a chuckle that bounced of the wall of where ever we were.
He came to a stop where the sound of the rushing water was strongest. "You can open up now." He said and i could hear the smile i his voice.
I slowly fluttered my eyes open to see we were standing in a cave where light streaming through a wide hole in the ceiling and some powerfully blue luminescent Moss and a few fireflies that where glowing colors I've never seen them glow before. The different colors kinda reminded me of hoshi's own colors.
Since I grew up hoshi would more often then not disappear into the woods for sometimes weeks at a time I never knew why but I never asked either more then once. To which she'd reply 'you'll see' I never asked anything more after that just shrugging.
I do miss her when she's away though.
"Jake..." Was all I could manage as a neon pink firefly flew right infront of my face, I was unable to keep my eyes from following the beautiful small creature.
"Beautiful isn't it?" He said sounding cocky at having wowed me.
I open my mouth but ended up noding in a trance. It reminded me of home.
"You wanna know the best part about this." I shift wide eyes to him me still and awe. Not even that smug smile deterred my euphoric mood.
"This still isn't the place." He said. And i gaped at him. You're telling me it gets better then this.
With that said jacob stepped Into the small and shallow stream that went almost to his knees. He walked closer to the raging waterfall.
I looked confused at him as he didn't seem to stop once we hit the waterfall. Instead he passed straight through. I gasp and put my face against his shoulder so the doesn't hit my face to harshly. But as quick as it started it ended and i was once again in another place.
When I looked up I could see that we're still in the cave but there was a opening up ahead that jacob was heading for. I could see it has gotten a bit darker outside but the sun was still up. Bursting oranges, reds, pinks, and yellows across the sky.
When we where out the cave I could see that it lead to a small beach with beautiful white sand and an ocean more blue then any I've ever seen and it was clear much like the waterfall we came through. There rocks and plant scattered across the little stretch of sand. Some unusual looking flowers that I've never seen before where blooming others were glowing but faintly.
I was breathless as i stared at the scenery in front of us I could feel a tear streak it's way down my face at the sheer beauty of it all. I've never seen anything like it. Jacob set me on the sand then sat next to me he wrapped an arm around me and leaned me against his for which I was grateful.
"So I take it you like it?" He said his previous cockiness gone replaced with a content tone.
I nodded staring at the surreal sunset before us. I know that when we leave this place this feeling will be replaced by stress once more. Even more so now that jacob is in my life again.
"Yeah? Good, cause I will only ever share it with the ones I love." I looked up at jacob but he stayed staring at the sunset. The sound of the waves and distant wildlife adding to the feeling of happiness and contentment.
"Sooo... did bella enjoy it here to?"call me stupid or insecure but really can you blame me?
Jacob frowned and looked down at me "you're the first person I've ever brought here. I promise, I've only known own about this place for a couple of days now. I'm sure you understand why I love it. Plus it reminds me of you. From the sunsets down to every grain of sand on the ocean floor. And the water, so clear yet blue hiding nothing beneath the surface and the life below are untouchable, beautiful. Like your eyes." I smile at him. He's always been obsessed with my eyes.
I snicker at him, and he gives a half smirk "I see what you're up to jacob black, and i won't fall for it. Can you get any cheesier." We both shared a laugh at that.
"Well i thought it was smooth." He said with fake hurt.
"Yeah as smooth as sandpaper." I chuckle and he pouts. I laugh more at him.
I survey the area around us and see that the cliff stretches higher then i could see and farther with no corner or end in site. Which was strange to me seeing as on the other side it just looks like a cave covered in over grown foliage the rock texture was even different like regular stone at the front entrance and sandstone mixed with marble on this side. And the sun seemed to be so close.
I shrug it off. I figured earth was a strange place a long time ago. It has a place where two oceans meet but never mix. Without a barrier in between!
I pushed my suspicions back and filed it away for later.
For now I just snuggle into jacob, cause despite my earlier emotions I've missed being close to him like this.
I've also missed kissing him. But i wasn't ready to go back to that with him. I was afraid he'd end up leaving me again. Even with the imprint in play. And if that happened I'd rather not be any closer then this. Cause I could always stay as a friend, but as a mate...I'd never forgive him if he left me again. Never.
I close my eyes and inhales when a breeze comes and whispers gentle cool touches against my now less feverish skin.
Without realizing I slowly drift off into oblivion. Blissful oblivion. Instead of restlessness. It was a nice change.
I'm awoken later on by a hand shaking my shoulder. I swat it off and get as close to the soft warmth beneath me. It got awfully chilly outside...wait.
I slowly slide my eyes open a and am met with the scene I fell asleep to only now the moon was rising making The ocean and flowers look brighter then a little while ago.
"Hey aidzuki, are you up?" The groggy voice of jacob said making his chest vibrate. I nodded then i started as i realized the I wasn't laying on sand. I sit up and was embarrassed to end up straddling jacob.
I rub my eyes and then blink down at jacob who just stared back with a raised brow. I blush and look away sliding off and sat back on the sand.
"Yeah I kinda fell asleep to... don't know how we ended up like that though." He said sitting up and dusting the sand off of him.
I look at him suspiciously. As he stands up and continues dusting himself off. When he finishes and turns to help me he catches my look.
"What?" He asks, I just narrow my eyes. He sighs.
"I really don't know what happened you fell asleep and layed your head on my lap and then i fell asleep to. And here we are." He said looking seriously at me.
I keep my eyes narrowed but nod nonetheless. Jacob gets me on his back and we head back the way we can. We ended up having to walk home wet since there was no other way to get back but through the waterfall.
Soon jacob and i are going up the steps to the black residence. Jacob takes his key from his pocket and unlocks the door stepping inside. I look back before we're in the house and see that the moon had literally just started rising. Huh? I thought it had already started.
Eh I'm to tired. I think as i slump back against a wooden chair jacob settles me in. He walks over to his pile of clothes and my eyes widen when he starts stripping down to his boxers. I unknowingly stare shamelessly at the tan skin exposed to me his body glistening with moisture. I watch as a drop of water falls from his hair and i follow it down his hard sculpted chest and abs. It drips untill it disappears into the top of his boxers where love handles peeked out. I swallow my mouth very dry. He puts on a white t-shirt and then turns to me with a blue shirt and boxers and holds his hand out.
I reach out and grab it acting like i wasn't just checking him out, and i was glad when he didn't notice.
Jacob takes a pair of boxers and goes into the bathroom to change them and is back out in a second. He scoops me up and carries me to the guest room previously the twins room and sets me on the nightstand he then steps back and stares at me.
"Uh...thank you?" I say thinking that's what he was waiting for. He opens his mouth to say something but only ends up saying gibberish. I roll my eyes.
"Spit it out jacob I'm tired..." There's no bite but it was a little snappy. I was really tired I've never stayed up this late usually asleep before the sun sets.
"Well do you- i mean. Well, you see I wondering if.." He stood straighter and swallowed. "Do you need help changing?" He said gesturing to my clothes.
We blush simultaneously. Him for offering and me cause I'm sure I do.
It was my turn to swallow thickly not bothering to try and talk knowing words would fail me so I just nod my blush spreading.
He nods and he grabs my wrist and sets them on his shoulders I try not to look away from his gaze knowing he was only looking at me to make sure he didn't accidentally make me uncomfortable.
He reaches out his breathing becoming somewhat heavier. He grasps it and we both gasp. My breath then hitches when he begins to slowly peel it off. As if he were afraid of hurting me.
Once my shirt was off jacob takes my hand and set them back by my sides he then instructs me to unbutton my pants which I do. He then wraps my arms around his neck lifting me slightly and tugs my pants down untill there off and I'm in just boxers. He then turned away quickly but I caught a blush and the lustful look he shoots at my body. I resist a smirk knowing i wasn't the only one checking out the other. He turns back with a towel I didn't even know he had.
He comes back to me and shakily reaches out with the towel in hand untill it touches my cheek softly. I let out a Shaky breath I didn't know I was holding.
Jacob then gently starts to dry me off, first my face then down to my neck and i lean my head back and i didn't need my super hearing to hear him swallow roughly again. He slides the towel over my shoulders, down to my chest, back up my shoulders and back down my arms. I couldn't help but to gasp everytime he touches an untoweled part of my body.
We stare at eachother and he leans in and i hoped he wasn't about to do what I thought. I wasn't ready.
"Relax kai." He says when I tense up. He leans our foreheads together me looking into his brown eyes that looked black in the moonlight. I shudder when he doesn't kiss me but instead drags the towel over my back quickly down the slowly up.
He sets me back against the wall and leans away grabing the shirt he got for me and slides it over my head helping me put my arms into the sleeves. He wraps his arms around my middle and lifts me so I'm standing.
"I-your boxers?" He asks.
"I got it." I say uncertainty obvious in my voice even to me.
He looks like he doesn't believe me but doesn't question it. He leans me against the wall on my feet next to the nightstand and puts the boxers on it so that it was closer.
He then takes a few steps back and faces away from me. I stare at his back, I guess he wasn't leaving. I shrug as i get to work.
Just a few months ago I had no problem ripping a tree from the ground and now I couldn't even change my own underwear. I manage to get the dry pair on with much difficulty but i did it.
As I was tying the strings tight around my waist. His clothes were far to big for me, his shirt handing off one of my shoulder and went half way down my thighs covering the boxers completely.
"Ok." I whispered to his back he looked over his shoulder as if if to make sure and when he saw I was dressed he came back over to me. He gets so close to me i could feel his breath which mingled with mine. A sharp intake of air enters me as he grabs my hips and starts trailing them down.
He trails his hands untill their at the back of my thighs barely missing my ass. I whine when my skin is set aflame with tingles and electricity then i immediately burrow my head into his shoulder embarrassed.
He doesn't say anything just lifts me up and wraps my legs around his middle and i hang on as best as I could clutching at the back of his broad shoulders. But for some reason jacob just stands there, unmoving.
Suddenly his head is buried into the juncture between my neck and right shoulder. I gasp a small cry before I shudder violently.
"Jacob..." I whine pushing at his shoulders. I'm pretty sure friends don't hold eachother like this. I freeze as he inhales deeply and then starts his walk to the bed keeping his head where he was breathing my scent in. When we got to the bed he bent in half as he layed me down gently trapping me between his upper body and the bed.
I whisper his name again and this time he stands up and takes his time like he was about to leave something precious behind. He seems to snap out of it though as he moves from between my legs and adjusts me so that i was comfortable and warm under the blankets.
I look up at jacob who smiles down at me but I can't find it in my exhaustion to return it. The last thing I saw was jacob backing out of the room before my eyes slide shut.