First Person - Caleb's P.O.V.
I open my eyes to see sunlight streaming into my room through my open curtains. My window is slightly cracked open, a damp breeze blowing in through the screen.
I'm on my back, my thick comforter covering my legs and bare torso. I sink slightly into the warm mattress, my pillow feeling like a cloud. I let my heavy eyelids close before forcing them open again.
Wait… Memories blurred by alcohol fill my mind as I notice a slight pressure on my chest and glance down. A pale arm is draped across me. My breath catches in my throat, I'm fully awake now. I angle my head to my left.
Bleached hair is splayed out next to me on my pillow. Holy shit. I whip my head back forward and stare at the ceiling. I can feel lanky legs tangled up with mine. I swallow hard and I urge my brain to remember more of yesterday.
What happened? A bottle of champagne and a few beers come to mind. Damn, how much did I drink? I squeeze my eyes shut and dredge up more from last night.
There was Taylor and Kopano. They were watching a movie, something with action and cars.
I smile a little at the memory. I don't mind their relationship so much anymore and have even begun to feel happy for them. Soon after they had gotten together, my childish crush on Taylor had begun to fade.
Ran was there too, along with Isabela, who somehow snuck alcohol from the UN Peacekeepers. We met up in our dorm and hung out, putting on some music. There were cups passed out and we talked for a while.
But...what happened after that? I remember Taylor and Ran stumbling out the door, leaning on each other for support. They said they'll see us tomorrow, and maybe something about sleeping? I guess I wasn't paying attention to them. I was paying attention to someone else.
I blink open my eyes, focusing on the ceiling once again.
It happened weeks ago. I didn't notice it at first, the way my gaze seemed to be drawn to my roommate. When he caught me looking at him and I turned away as quickly as I could, I realized something was off.
I couldn't place my feelings for a while, and then I tried to deny them. I mean, all my previous attractions had been to girls. Sure, I had eyed male peers now and then, but had ignored those feelings, hiding them away. If my brothers found out…
Damn it, though, when he smiles at me, my family's acceptance is the farthest thing in my mind. It's like the voices in my head turn into background noise and butterflies take over my stomach. I feel blood rush to my cheeks everytime he laughs and I can't help but join in.
Nigel.
Even the name has a way of taking my breath away.
He had been the first person to really look out for me, and we quickly became close friends. We started a band together, snuck out of the base with our friends, and partied on the beach. The nice punk helped me open up and discover myself.
I take a deep breath and look out of the corner of my eyes. A face filled with piercings is only a few inches away from mine. I can feel my eyes widen and I shake my head to try and clear it.
Focus, Caleb! What happened last night? Let's see… Kopano passed out on the couch after eating almost everything in the fridge. He was snoring louder than I've ever heard.
And, Isabela drank way too much and ended up puking? Yeah, that sounds right. She slumped down on the couch next to Kopano, propping her head up with a pillow and immediately falling asleep.
So, that just left Nigel and I. Damn. The memories become clearer and I strain my aching mind. Fuzzy images pop into my head of him and I on opposite sides of the kitchen. I had a glass clasped in my hands, and kept refilling it.
"Woah, mate," he had said. He hadn't had nearly as many drinks as the rest of us and his voice was clear. "Let's tone it down a notch, yeah?" I had reluctantly set down the beverage while he walked up to me. I couldn't keep my eyes off of his hips and the way they moved with each step.
"You alright?" Nigel asked. We had locked eyes and I dumbly nodded.
He has beautiful eyes, I think. And they're often filled with whatever he's feeling. Compassion, mischief, kindness, sometimes confusion, and tons of other emotions all show themselves there. His eyes have to be my favorite part of him.
You're getting off track, I scold myself.
"C'mon," he had said. "You look like ya could use some rest." He had led me to my bedroom and sat on the edge of my bed with me. A shiver had traveled down my spine as he accidentally brushed his shoulder against mine.
"You gonna be okay, pal?" He asked me. Then… then I did something really stupid.
"Nooooo," I whisper in my room, dragging a hand across my face as the rest of yesterday comes flooding into my mind.
"No," I had told him, leaning closer to his handsome face. The alcohol had made me unnaturally brave and I had rested one of my hands on top of his. My worries had begun to melt into nothingness. "I won't be okay if you leave." I remember how my words slurred together.
His neck began to turn red and his Adam's apple bobbed up and down nervously. "Caleb…" he whispered, his eyes showing confusion and an odd nervousness. Oh, screw it, I had thought, like an idiot with too much to drink.
I had quickly leaned in the rest of the way and pressed my lips to his. I cupped his face with my hands and I closed my eyes as he made a surprised squeaking sound against my mouth.
No, I groan internally. Why, why, why? Why, you dumbass? I glare at the ceiling in my frustration. No matter how strongly I felt drawn to him, our friendship was more important, but I probably ruined it last night.
But then… I scrunch my eyebrows together in uncertainty.
I remember moving my mouth against his passionately while leaning into him, wanting us to be closer. He had planted a hand on my waist to steady us, then kissed me back. His lips were softer than I had imagined them to be as he tried to match my intensity.
He… kissed me back?
Eventually, I let him overpower me and take the lead. He had brushed his tongue piercing over my lips while running his fingers through my sandy blond hair. I had tried to urge on the brit with a small bite to his bottom lip, but the hand that was in my hair faltered instead.
I moved my hands away from his neck and cheeks, beginning to run them down the sides of his body. My right hand had snaked into his shirt and pressed against the small of his back.
I remember myself breaking our kiss, both of us out of breath and panting slightly. I had kissed his jawline and then his neck, earning a low growl from him.
"Oh god," I mutter while pinching the bridge of my nose. My face gets hot from the embarrassment of intoxicated me, but I take a deep breath and continue my memory hunt.
I had nibbled and suckled the sensitive skin of his neck, making him let out light moans. I felt myself getting hard as I suddenly bit down on his skin and he gasped with surprise. I tugged up on his shirt, my way of telling him I wanted it off.
A deep sense of longing and want over took me and I crawled onto his lap, my face still buried in the crook of his neck. One of my hands had reached down towards the forming bulge in the front of his pants.
I need you. I need you. I need you. The words had chanted over and over again in my mind like a drunken mantra. Nigel gripped my wrist to stop my hand from moving any farther.
"Wait," he muttered. His voice had seemed distant and fuzzy at the time. He gripped some of my hair and pulled my head back so I looked him in the eyes. We stared at each other for a few seconds before he kissed me softly.
And… my memories stop after that.
Wait, no! What happened!? My breathing falters as I think of the possibilities. I relax a little as I realize my pants are still on, but my heart continues to hammer against my chest. I wrack my brain, but come up with nothing more and finally bring myself to look at the person next to me.
It's definitely Nigel, no doubt about it. His breathing is slow and steady, making my eyelashes flutter with each exhale. He wears a thin tank top and a pair of sweatpants.
Should I wake him? I desperately want to know what happened, but he also looks so calm. His mohawk is a little ruffled up from sleep and his mouth is slightly open.
I gaze at him, my heart beat settling. My initial panic is soon replaced with a flood of warmth in my chest.
"Nigel," I whisper, reaching over and nudging his shoulder slightly. He groans in his sleep, lips pursing together. "Nigel." I shake him a little and he moves his head closer to me.
I take in a sharp breath and his legs shift around, becoming more entangled with mine. His eyelids open slowly and when he sees me he smiles, a pleasant surprise on my part.
"Hi," he says groggily.
"Good morning," I whisper.
"Mm," he replies, eyes half closed. "What's the time?"
"Um, I'm not sure. I haven't checked." Nigel must hear the slight panic in my voice because his eyes open the rest of the way. He lifts his arm off of me and untangles our legs.
"Do you remember last night?" He asks me, starting to sit up. There's worry in his words and he looks at me with concern and hopefulness.
"Uh, well, I- I remember some, but- uh," I stutter, sitting up quickly and crossing my legs. "I mean, I- we didn't have…? Or di- did we?" I rub one of my arms nervously and Nigel gives me a soft smile. "I can't remember..."
"Nah," he says quietly. "I stopped you from going too far. You were way too drunk and I couldn't take you like that. Besides, I wasn't sure if that's what you would have wanted."
I take a deep breath and return the smile. "Thank you."
He nods, almost sadly, and glances down at the bed. "I'm… not sure if you want any of this." He motions to the space we were just sleeping next to each other.
"Oh."
That's all you have to say!? Oh? Tell him how you feel! I look up at Nigel and my throat starts to close up.
"I-" I blink rapidly a couple times as he looks at me expectantly. "I do. Want this, I mean."
"Really?" He asks.
"If you do, then yeah."
His signature smirk returns and he leans closer to me, giving me plenty of time to pull away or rethink my decision. I meet him halfway and our lips crash together. My senses are heightened compared to last night, and the kiss soon turns heated.
We fall back onto my bed, with Nigel on top. He seems much more confident than yesterday and his tongue finds its way into my mouth. He pins one of my arms next to my head and makes an approving noise in the back of his throat.
We kiss for what feels like an eternity, my imagination running wild. A loud knock on my door makes us both jump. We break the kiss and Nigel flings himself off of me.
"Uh," I say, but Nigel has already caught his breath and strides to the door. He opens it and leans against the doorway.
"Oi, what's up?" He asks. Lightly panting, I peer over his shoulder and see Isabela's dark hair on the other side. I start panicking again as she sees me and I give her a small wave. She rolls her eyes and speaks to Nigel.
"Some of us are a little hungover, so if you could kindly shut your traps, that would be nice. Save it for another time? Or maybe put your legacy to good use."
"Sorry, love," Nigel tells her, not flustered at all. "We'll be quiet."
"Thank you," she huffs and leaves us alone. Nigel shuts the door quietly behind her and walks back up to the bed. He sits on the edge and swings his legs over, nestling down into the covers and pillows.
He holds out one of his arms. "Cuddling?" I smile happily and let him wrap me in his arms. I nuzzle into his chest and breath in his scent, not wanting the moment to ever end.
"So, does this make you my boyfriend?" He asks after a minute, twirling a few strands of my hair through his fingers.
"I hope so," I say.
He chuckles lightly and kisses the top of my head. "Good."