Aidzuki's dream***
Not long after drifting off into sleep did i find myself waking up in a familliar grassy field. 'I've been here before.' I think to myself.
A low rumble has me snapping my head to the side. A chill went through me when i saw the giant russet wolf slumbering away beside me one paw heavily placed across my waist. Jacob. I smile down at him and ruffle his fur he hardly reacts accept a a small rumbling purr.
"Hey..." A soft gentle voice calls in the opposite direction i was facing. I whip around just in time to see something jet black and furry disappear into the trees.
A strong urge to follow the owner of the voice hits so hard that when my body moves i'm not sure if i was the one in control. I scoot and shimmy my way from under the massive paw, the wolf it was attached to only whined and rolled onto his side.
Once I was sure the wolf wouldn't wake I slowly tiptoed to the surrounding forest quietly. I only broke into a run once i was far enough away from the clearing and followed the trail of the mysterious... Thing?
"Over here..." The voice beckoned and i turned sharply only to see something black disappearing deeper into the forest. I narrow my eyes and creep to that spot slowly. I reach the spot and snatch the branches back only to see... la push beach?
Confused i took my first step into the sandy terrain and looked around to nothing but emptiness.
Suddenly a voice on the wind rushes past me leaving me a little spooked but i follow it. I start off walking but as the voice gets further and further from me the more i speed up to catch it until i'm nearly running at full speed.
I start to slow when i realize i'm headed towards the cave hoshi was laid to rest at. I look down where i dug her grave.
It's gone.
"Aidzuki... It's time." My head once again is swiveling to where i heard the voice much clearer then before. It almost sounded like...
"H-hoshi." I say now very cautious. I stalk slowly into the cave where the voice came from. I didn't get far as the sound of footsteps coming my way stopped me.
Out of the darkness of the deep cave came who i assumed was hoshi. She was in a form I've never seen her in before. A wolf.
"Hoshi is it really you?" I ask with wide eyes. She rolls her eyes and that only confirms it for me. A huge smile breaks out across my face and tears fill my eyes.
"I'm... I'm so sorry. I-i tried b-b-" i started as the tears streamed down my face.
"Uuugh! Your such a crybaby!" She exclaims. I snap my mouth shut. I wasn't shocked per say. I just didn't expect for her to be so...hoshi like.
"Jeez. Anyways congrats big baby." She said closing the distance between us.
"Congrats? For what." I sniffle.
"My death duh. Do you even know what it means or were you dropped on your soft spot." She said nonchalantly.
"Your de- i don't know what you're talking about." I was getting confused more and more by the minute.
True to her character she rolls her eyes. "Well since it was never explained to you i guess i have to be the one to school you." She said like it was a chore.
If she knew i didn't know then why'd she insult me?
"PAY ATTENTION IDIOT! Anyways i'll start with who i am to you. Sit." She sits on her hunches and gestures with her snout to the floor in front of her. I take the seat in front of her. And by seat i mean sandy rock.
"As you know already all of your people are born with one of my people as a companion right?" She looks at me sharply and i nod.
"Well we. Me and my people. Are spirit animals. Literally. We aren't animal spirits ok. We never existed as an animal. I am First and foremost a spirit. Got it." I hum and nod once.
"We are what gives your people the ability to shift into your animal form. We go through a process. Birth, bond, death, and fuse."
"Uh fuse?" I ask to which Hoshi nods her head. "Yes. Fuse. Me and your soul."
"First we have birth though. I am born before you in your reality or plain of existence. As soon as i am able to walk i follow the pull of our 'pre-attachment' untill i find you. And as long as i find you it doesn't matter how long my journey is. But we always find them before they turn one. You following?" She checks on me.
"Your people are born stalkers. Got it." I said with a nod.
*BONK*
"Itaiiii!" I exclaim rubbing the top of my head.
"Be serious" She said sternly with a glare. I glare back.
"Next comes the bond which is self explanatory really. We spend time together and get to know each other that's really it. Though it's simple it is a very important part. A week bond can result in a feral animal form and unstable human form." She looks down and to the side her eyes becoming sad and distant.
"It usually ends in an early death for your people and five to seven years of rehabilitation for my people before we can form a new bond. It is hard to come back from being feral." She said in a haunted whisper.
"Did you know someone that happened to?" I question sympathetically. I reach out and run my hand through the pitch black fur of her front leg.
She doesn't pull away so i stand and scratch behind her ear. She continues "No. Until you i've never had a successful bond. I always went feral."
She turns back to me and i step back. "You'd know if i was gonna go feral. You would be having a nightmare of me eating your flesh." She said a bit TO seriously.
She was just joking right?
"This is pleasant compared to the three before you. It was always so bloody. Angry. Cold." I just stand there a little freaked out as i picture hoshi as a mountain lion fighting a woman while they yelled insults at each other. Both bloody.
"That's not gonna happen though right?" I asked now picturing hoshi tearing me limb from limb.
She sighs annoyed. "Like i said. You'd know."
She shook her giant head. "Anyways after the bond comes death." I stiffen. I wasn't scared hoshi would hurt me but after hearing that i was a little skeptical about this whole thing.
"Long story short i die. Not you. Just me. I lose my memory until i can't even remember who i am. Basically i'm nothing more then a regular animal at that time. Last i remember i was a bird. Correct?" Hoshi tilts her head at me. Again i just nod. The memory of her death playing in my mind instantly.
"No one knows why it happens it just does. But anyway we die within three weeks. Or in my case, killed." I wince and was about to apologize but she stopped me.
"Shut up. It was always gonna happen anyway. Whether i reached the deadline or i'm killed. I would die." She gives me a kind look.
I smile and nod. "I understand that. But it won't stop my regrets. The way you died just... sorta haunts me." I look away " I sho-"
"OH Kami, have you not listened to a word I have been saying. I'm ok Aidzuki. Plus we don't have time for your failed hero self pity. Your gonna wanna hear about the next and final step." Hoshi growls and I just brush the insult off and nod.
"Fuse? Right?" I ask readily. Hoshi nods at me.
"Yes now like I said our consciousness and energy fuse into one so that our physical forms may also become one. I will be nearly non-existent after that except my spirit allowing for some certain communications and for your wolf form. And It will be hard your first transformation. And painful'' She finished.
"Painful? H-how painful?'' I ask nervously.
Hoshi doesn't answer but just stares back at me sympathetically. I swallow the sudden lump in my throat. I was very much nervous now.
"But it is only the first transformation the ones that come after will be barrable. Breaking your bones isn't supposed to feel good after all." She said nonchalantly.
"WHY are you so cool about this?'' I thought it was kind of suspicious how calm she was delivering that news seeing as to how she will be there with me.
She sighed "Well you see I won't feel any of it. our connection won't be how you think it will. It'll be like the packs connection with their wolves. and as you probably observed their wolves aren't a separate consciousness, just a separate spirit that allows their transformation. When I said communication I don't mean we'll have conversations more like I'll be a gut instinct you know like a voice or feeling that says 'DANGER' when it is near by. to put it more precisely I will be nothing more then well... you. My energy makes your already keen instinct more primal."
I look at her sadly "So you won't be coming back..."
She looks down at me, for once not annoyed at my mushiness. She leans down and nuzzles me "Maybe when all is said and done we'll meet in the spirit realm when I form back into myself again."
Suddenly there was a howl in the distance causing Hoshi to stand up straight and stare in the direction it came from. "time to go." She announced.
'What? No just a few more minutes!" I whine.
She shook her head "If only it worked like that kid. I... I love you." she said swaying her head stubbornly to the side.
For a second I thought I was hearing things. Did Hoshi just... express her feelings. Like good happy mushy feelings? She growls and snaps at me "Stop staring ya little brat!"
But instead of looking away I smile broadly at her "I love you to Hoshi-chan.'' She rolls her eyes, and that's the last thing I see before the world around me fades away.***
I awaken to the smell of food in my nostrils and bright early light in my eyes. Esme. I stretch on my back and reach for a certain warm hard body only to find it absent. I sit up quickly and look at the side of the bed Jacob had occupied to find it empty. And by the smell of it he's been gone a while. I pout.
He didn't even say goodbye.
A little upset I roll out of bed with the intentions of starting my morning. After I am freshly showered and dressed I head downstairs and greet the Cullens, minus Edward for obvious reasons, and head into the kitchen where there was a bowl of grits with cheese and sausage in it with a side of toast and a glass of what I presume to be grape juice.
Even though my senses already told me as much I was still disappointed at the lack of Jacob which means he really left without so much as a goodbye.
just as I finished my breakfast Esme comes over and clears away the dishes and slides a folded piece of paper over to me. I look at her bizarrely but she just gives me a 'go on' expression and turns to the sink. I look down at the paper with curiosity and pick it up. When I unfold it I see that it's a note from Jacob.
Dear Ai,
Sorry when you wake up I won't be here. But you know Carlisle won't allow me to spend the whole night just yet. So out of respect for the Doc's rules I left. I tried to wake you to say bye but for some odd reason you wouldn't wake. Bye love. 3
~Your mate Jake
P.S. Don't be late for training. ;)
I smile warmly and read over the note once more before folding it and placing it in my back pocket. How sweet of him to leave a note. But as he said I wouldn't wanna be late for training or Akaiame-sensei will have my tail for it.
I was hoping for a day or so off but knowing sensei it won't happen. She once told me that in war loss, pain, and suffering only makes you weak if you let it. And after what Victoria did... this was war. So for now skipping training was off the table.
"Hey guys I'm off!" I say as I stand to leave.
"No one cares!" Rosalie shouted back. I was happy to hear the joking tone laced with her annoyance so I just laughed it off. everyone present just waved bye. Except Emmet who just threw up the peace sign.
"Oh wait Aidzuki!" Says Esmes voice stops me and hi look back to find her and Carlisle looking back at me.
"...yes." I answer a little worried.
"Yesterday... What we talked about with Jacob..." Carlisle started. I seen that he wasn't nervouse but was making sure I understood where he was going.
My already flattened ears press against my skull "I'm so sorry I jus-"
"We were Really hurt by what we were told Aidzuki." Esme cuts in.
"We had a lengthy conversation about your situation and place in this family." Carlisle said with a nod. His facial expression told me the gravity of what was going on.
My heart began pounding in my chest as thoughts of them kicking me out came to mind. "I-I didn't mean it! I was just gonna go with her I wasnt gonna hurt anyone I- I'd never hurt any of you or Bella. I just wanted my friend back!'' I said in a panicked hurry.
The couple shared a look of worry before looking back at me.
I tried my hardest but tears came to my eyes at the prospect of them hating me. "Please don't make me leave..."
Esme stepped closer to me and lays her hand on my shoulder. My teary eyes look up into hers and she looks worried but not upset.
"No one's kicking anyone out. We just wanted to make sure you were ok and that nothing has changed. We understand were you have been cause we have been there in one way or another."
Carlisle nods in agreement "We also wanted to ask if you needed help telling Edward and Bella."
I nodded. "Yes that'll be nice. What about the family part. You know my place?"
"We just meant nothing has changed, you're still welcome here. You made a Decision out of fear and love. Which we understand. We wanted to be sure that you understood that this will always be your family. Don't feel as if we will abandoned you." Carlisle says in that gentle voice of his.
I sniffle a little. "Thank you guys for understanding." I smile at them my anxiety gone.
"No problem love. Now you go ahead. Oh and don't forget to call if you decide to spend the night." Esme reminds me.
"Yes ma'am. Thanks for the reassurance. See you guys later!" I say as I head out the door.
When I arrived at Jacobs house where sensei was staying I was a little shocked not to hear any panting or yelling. I slowly walked to the back of the house and could see why. Jacob was sitting beside Akaiame-sensei crisscross with his eyes closed. They were meditating.
I eagerly approach them and sensei opens her eyes to look at me gesturing for me to join them. Well at least training won't be so straining today. I take my seat beside Jacob who seemed deep in concentration, but by the twitch of his nose he is quite aware of my arrival.
I sit as close to him as I can get without disturbing him and he doesn't so much as twitch when my knee bumps his. He's taking this very seriously. Good. I take my own position and close my eyes.
Meditation was just what I needed.
/TIME SKIP\\\
A few hours later me and Jacob were standing on opposite ends of his backyard giving each other sneaky smirks. Sensei wanted us to spar to gage our fighting experience and any gaps between us in that department. When I asked why she said it's important for us to fight as a team, to know each others weaknesses as well as strengths.
Even though it wasn't a real fight I was worried about hurting Jacob nor did I want to fight him, something Jacob had voiced out loud to sensei. She just called him a weak alpha and told him to leave then. Cause he'd be no good for me. THAT got him going.
I on the other hand still had worries as i'm sure Jacob did. Despite our thoughts, Thoughts sensei must be acutely aware of due to centuries of reading her opponents, she steps forward with her hand in the air signaling for us to get ready. I crouch with my hands ready, claws out.
I will TRY not to use my other abilities seeing as it puts me at a huge advantage against Jacob. I also get a little caught up in rage while using my powers and probably would hurt Jacob more then I want to. All I have to do is get him on the ground. I have to hold back.
Across from me Jacob stands at the ready with his brow furrowed in worry as he glanced back at me most likely with thoughts adjacent to mine. His control over his anger was not so good and when he gets angry he phases, I would be no match for his wolf form which was stronger and faster then I was seeing as i'm only a little faster then a vampire and wolves faster than me.
All in all, I hope we both stay in control.
sensei's hand comes down, a sign for us to begin.
There was a pause between the both of us neither of us wanting to be the first to attack the other. Akaiame-sensei only stood to one side watching us intensely with her eyes shifting back and forth in observation.
I took a deep breath and charged not wanting to draw this out longer then necessary. I started with a simple and direct swing which he dodged easily then returned one of his own that I side-stepped and delivered a roundhouse kick to his stomach making him grunt a bend forward.
"Oh so that's how we're gonna play it?" He said straightening. Before I could react he grabs me and tosses me back to where I was standing. Catch myself before I hit the ground landing on all fours. When I turn around it's to see Jacob running at me.
I get to my feet quickly and meet him tackling him to the ground I sit up and with a little hesitation my fist connects with his jaw and his head snaps to the side I pause afraid that I hurt him badly. I then shouted in shock as he flipped us over so he was on top.
He swung and punched my cheek with zero hesitation and my head snaps to the side my eyes wide from surprise. The surprise was short lived however when his fist entered my vision once more connecting with my lip.
After a third punch to my temple I caught his hand when he went for a fourth and used my strength to flip him over my head. I breathed and got to my feet once more to face a still standing Jacob.
He never seen me coming when he stood as my foot slamed into the the side of his knee causing him to fall back down I brought my knee up expecting it to land on his chin but was caught by his hand and pushed back.
I stumbled back and he shot back to his feet and came at me. We begin an exchange of blows, blocks, and dodges.
After a long while we break apart slightly bruised and scratched and I jump away from him and land a ways aways breathing heavily. So far so good.
While we are serious we are still in control.
We continue to spar never crossing over into losing control nor going all out nothing but soft blows and mostly dodging and avoiding one another.
"STOP!" Jake and I freeze in our tracks both our fists raises looking over to where sensei stood.
"That's it for today. Your grade? Pathetic!" We both winced at that and looked at her confused.
Rolling her eyes she explained "If you don't truly fight you'll never truly know how to work together. And you!" She snapped her head to Jacob. "Will never be able to protect Aidzuki unless you get serious."
"Sensei I can protect myself!" I said a little fed up. She leveled me with a cold glare.
She looked me up and down and mysteriously her face softens. "There are things you don't know young one. That He does not know. When you two mate there will be moments where he'll have to be strong enough for the both of you. Same goes for you. But as an alpha he cannot be weaker then you." She sighs and rubs her brow.
Jacob looked offended but said nothing. "Aidzuki is much more polished then you if you hadn't noticed, he was holding back and doing most of the avoiding. Polished but still sloppy. Jacob you fight with no coordination and brute strength but you are powerful and focused. I can work with that."
We took our critiques with our heads bowed. I was hoping she didn't notice I was holding back. But this is Akaiame-sensei, of course she noticed. Most of all I didn't want jake to know cause he was struggling to keep up.
I peeked at Jacob and frowned when I saw the shame and embarrassment on his bowed face. I turn my attention back on sensei.
"Aidzuki work on your form. Jacob you'll be sparring with me next time and I'll teach you until your caught up with Aidzuki. Dismissed!" She then walked off towards the house without even a second glance.
I glance back at Jacob who was gritting his teeth in disappointment and anger. I walk over to him and lay a hand on his shoulder. He flinches and looks away.
"I'm sorry. I just didn't want to hurt you." I said.
"This whole time you held back and I was giving nearly my all." He shook his head. "She's right I am pathetic."
I shook my head "No she said We were pathetic." I laughed softly and grabbed his face. "Jacob you are strong. You just need more training. I trust you to protect me when needed even more so cause you want to get better."
"You trust me now?" He said hopeful.
I always trusted him to protect me from danger. I just didn't trust he himself wouldn't hurt5 me... But now that I know he imprinted on me...
"I...do." I say slowly. "I trust you. Just don't hurt me again."
Jacob look at me in shock. "Really? Does this mean we can get back together?"
I bite my lip. "After all this Victoria mess is over... Maybe we can discuss it." I wasn't ready for that just yet not with revenge on my mind.
"I'd be happy to." He said. "And I will, no matter what, get stronger for us." He says determined.
Just then Billy came out and told us that he was informed to tell me that Bella and Edward are home. Me and Jacob shared a look.
Show time.