The Court Magician
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"So, did you girls buy anything?" I asked later during dinner.
They all shook their heads. "Splurging just because you have money now is the best way to become poor, you know," said Elze.
/"She is completely correct, Player."/
"My needs are sufficiently met," Yae noted.
"Did you buy something, Mister Zah?" asked Linze.
I nodded. "I got you this!"
I then held up a simple gold ring with a green band running down the center. Linze blinked. And stared. Her eyes widened, she sat up straight on her seat and began to explosively blush.
Elze quirked an eyebrow and crossed her arms. "You better have a good reason to be offering my sister a ring…" she said in a mildly threatening tone.
"Poison resistance."
"That's a pretty good reason." Elze nodded and uncrossed her arms. "Do I get one too?"
"Well of course I bought enough for all of us. It will stop most mild poisons, and while it won't save you from the more virulent toxins and poisons, it should at least slow the damage enough that it won't be insta-death."
I nudged the ring over and Linze hesitantly accepted. She also looked disappointed. I smirked a little bit and couldn't help but to say "Of course I wouldn't be so casual like this when giving you the engagement ring. I'd wait until we're alone."
"Eeep!"
- Linze . exe has crashed. Seduction stack overflow in module shyness caused the program to stop working correctly.
- Monika will now close the program and notify you if a dumbass needs a dope slap.
While Linze was frozen in the middle of taking the ring, I casually reached into my pocket and handed over Elze's own poison resistance ring. She gave me a perfunctory "Thank you" before sliding it onto the ring finger of her left hand.
Linze woke up abruptly and turned towards her sister. "Sis, that's not where you put that!" she complained in a small voice.
"Then why is it called the ring finger?!"
Elze's smug face showed that she understood why that was so and was just teasing her sister.
Yae, by contrast, just stared at her ring rather than put it on.
"A magical item. Interesting…" she said. "These are rare in Eashen, that they are. Even if we are closer to Felzen Magic Kingdom, they are still expensive. It is too generous a gift, Playa-dono. May I refuse?"
"I suppose," I answered. Then I said to the air, "Monika?"
"/I command you to take the silly thing and not to die from silly easily preventable reasons before your assigned time,"/ said Monika. /"Do you not prefer to die in glorious battle rather than weak treachery?"/
"As you wish, Monika-sama." Yae bowed. She obediently put on the ring. On her left hand ring finger.
Elze snorted and laughed.
"…Yae! Not you too…!" Linze moaned. She looked up and glared at me. "If these things weren't so expensive, I would think… that you set all of this up to play a j-joke on me!"
Ahahaha.
I coughed. "Okay, more seriously. There are no obligations to this. Don't even think about trying to pay me back. Working with the Ortlinde family is demonstrably unsafe. Wear it however you want it, hide it away as a toe ring if you have to. It's just a simple magic item."
I glanced over to Elze and said "Though I certainly wouldn't mind if you wear that on your ring finger."
She nodded in return, still with completely clear eyes and a mien of fullest confidence. "Because it would cut down on random boys trying to chat us up. Who's got the time for that? No one's got any time for that!"
"… no… now… do I actually have to w-wear this here too?" Linze whimpered.
/"I would caution you about trying to build your harem, Player, but I would LAUGH watching you crash and burn from having more than one waifu ruining your laifu."/
I coughed again. "I was just joking."
Elze grinned menacingly.
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And so early the next day, we all trooped back to the Ortlinde mansion.
"Sir Playaa! Elze, Linze, Yae, and Lady Monikaaa!" Sue happily bounded over and greeted us by the door.
"Oh you even remembered all our names. Good work, remembering names to faces is important for making people like you," I said as I patted her head. Which was hugely hypocritical of me, since I was still going around with floating names on top of people's heads in augmented reality.
"Eheheh," she grinned. "Miss Charlotte's already here too. She actually arrived last night. When she heard about someone who could do something about mother's illness with a learned common magic when everyone's attempts failed – she said she couldn't risk not meeting that person!"
"Really? So she stayed overnight? Huh. That's interesting… even your father can be pushed like that by a common magician?"
"Umm. She… kinda begged. Really hard. So… I mean… please don't think too badly of Miss Charlotte. She just really really likes learning about magic. I know some people think she can be a bit… too much… because of that."
"Ominous."
/"I feel somewhat unsafe,"/ said Monika.
"I keep telling you, she's not a bad person!" Sue insisted. "Please… be patient, that's all…"
We followed her into the mansion. Duke Alfred Ernes Ortlinde sat in the western parlor with its tall windows and simplistic but boldly vivid enameled teal walls, and Sue vivaciously plonked down to sit next to him on the long couch. The Duke sat in a way that announced he aimed to be just a spectator in his own house.
He mentioned that Charlotte, after having received word of our arrival, was preparing her learning materials and should be out shortly.
The maids brought out some tea and snacks. Elze, who had little interest in talking about magic, asked for permission to spar and learn with the guards. That was granted easily enough, and after having a few moments to sit and sip tea and much on a scone for energy, she went off with the chief of the house guards.
Not Maldon, because he was given leave to visit his family tell them the sad news of his brother's death.
After some more time, the inside door to the parlor opened. At first cautiously, with someone trying to peek into the room, and then suddenly and impudently. A young woman with long green hair and long white clothes strode into the room.
Her cheeks were red and she was panting for breath from running. Her bounteous bosoms heaved very noticeably. The swell of her breasts exposed from a low-cut black bodice covered by a short cropped white jacket. Even with my eyes covered, it was quite obvious from my head movement that my attention flicked down, and then back up. Her white skirt was long, and reached down to her ankles.
Our eyes met. Or rather, her lime green eyes and my lack of discernible vision.
"Is it YOUUU?!" she huffed and pointed accusingly at me.
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I held my hands up as if in surrender.
Beside me, Yae shifted to a defensive crouch. Linze held her hands up, index and forefingers out, in a warding gesture. While magic stones were necessary for most spells, the fact that they were essentially magic AMPLIFIERS meant that it was possible to cast some simple spells without a wand. Or certain personal Null abilities completely without.
Rather than the number of techniques known, I feared more the person that honed the basics to the most effortless perfection. A court magician was a dangerous existence.
"Miss Charlotte!" the Duke said, not quite chiding.
"Hi, Miss Charlotte!" Sue greeted brightly.
The court magician blinked. And then her blush deepened from just exertion into pure embarrassment. She lowered her arm and bowed. "Excuse me," she said softly, and then swiftly pulled back and closed the door again.
Wait.
Wasn't the whole point of this to meet each other?
From beyond the door we could dimly hear a feminine scream. And "Stupid! Stupid! You know the whole reason for this thing was to make a good first impression!" in a squelched voice. Then several wooden thumps.
And then, a few more moments later, the door opened again.
We made the usual rounds of introductions.
"Please pardon my rudeness," Charlotte said with a thin smile. She was still blushing and looking away. "Duke Ortlinde, Lady Sushie, thank you for your time." She looked up now and addressed us "May I know if you are indeed the persons that were said to have a unique understanding of Light elemental Healing magic?"
I could hear my heart going doki doki. Monika stared suspiciously at me.
"I admit to nothing," I replied.
"Oh..." Charlotte looked crestfallen.
"Except to having a mediocre idea of medicine and anatomy, magic is quite frankly incidental to it. Magic is AMAZING, it can do so many things without having to open the body up to surgery. But if you're just throwing magic at the problem, should you really expect magic itself to know more about what you want to happen than you do? I don't really know much about magic, but the thought that it has an intelligence of its own is really scary to me."
Then her face brightened up again. And here I thought Sue had a million-watt smile, but Charlotte's enthusiasm and intellectual lusts just poured out of her grin. "Yes! Exactly! Magic without knowledge is just wasted energy! The more things you know that is NOT magic, the more that you can accomplish WITH magic!"
I grinned back and leaned forward, placing my elbows over my knees. "But I don't believe that magic can violate the fundamental laws of the universe. These laws have to be the same EVERYWHERE or else life cannot exist. But perhaps magic provides the easiest way of getting there and proving them."
Charlotte sat down and copied me in a sitting position most unlady-like. "But by that do you think the fundamental laws of magic are different from the fundamental laws of universe? That is a very… radical… thought, because there are those that say magic is the foundation of life. That magic is the last lingering touch of the gods on the world, the way to alter creation given to mortals."
"Really? But what does a fish need of magic? What does a dragon have to care about being moral to more mortal creatures?"
Charlotte nodded again. "That is so! Magic is a force separate from morality. It is us who decide what is moral or not about magic. Large monsters are powerful because of magic infused deep into their bodies, and they are not made superior to anything because of it. If they are a danger to others, then they are hunted down, and in fact their magic-infused hides and body parts become components for magic tools.
It is HOW we use magic for the betterment of all that transforms magic from just a tool for personal power and into a real force for good. Magic is something dangerous, but it can be made safer by knowing MORE about it, instead of hiding it away only for the use of the few and the powerful."
Then she opened her right palm out to me. "So, if I may ask, did you modify the [Cure Heal] spell in any way? Is it something that can be taught to others?"
"It's just the regular old [Cure Heal]. Just how important is visualization in magic? What happens if you try to make a spell do something more than what it's supposed to do?"
"A failed spell only fails to activate, costing you the mental energy… the internal magic energy, that would also have gone to a successful spell. Even more than that, usually. If it worked where other attempts at using [Cure Heal] failed to affect honored Lady Ortlinde in any way, then it can only be from a more successful way of visualizing what will happen. I would really like to know HOW you did it!"
"It failed, you know? [Cure Heal] is not the spell we needed."
"But it did something! This proves it! The ancients had the best spells because they had a greater understanding of the world. These lost magics we barely comprehend… they work only so well from our limited understanding. It's visualization!"
She beamed, and began to gesticulate wildly. "I would really love to know more about that! How did you learn about the inner workings of the human brain? How do you visualize what is inside the skull? Where in the brain are the memories located?! No one made a record of the lecture you gave about what portions of the brain are responsible for what senses, please let me write that down!
"If we could target [Cure Heal] much more precisely, that would improve the usefulness of the spell for everybody! What can you tell me about that?!"
"Would you like me to teach you all I know about anatomy?"
She bobbed her head up and down excitedly. "Yes please!"
Hurgh. Mah heart.
Her bright and bubbly enthusiasm, her voluptuous, tall and statuesque appearance…
This woman was gap-moeing her way past all my defenses. I couldn't deal with her at all!
Linze jabbed me in the side with a fingertip and I bent over because I was ticklish as hell. "Yowtch! What was that for?"
"… Mister Zah, please control yourself."
"Heh. But I'm serious." There was only really half innuendo in there.
I took a deep breath, calmed myself, and continued, "The greatest mystery is not outer space, but inner space. Here." I tapped at my VR case. "The darkness behind everyone's eyes. It is your memories that makes you. Every nerve, every sense, every mood, every bit of love or hate… it doesn't come from here," I pointed at my heart, "But here. We are patterns of thought wearing meat."
Linze still gave me an affronted look, like I had said something blasphemous, or at least unromantic. The Duke and Sue just had looks of tranquil trust. Yae looked unaffected, for if the power of the spirit was not manifest, then how does the shadow sword influences the senses and the mind without anything physical to it?
Charlotte had a studious expression that was almost... sultry.
Monika interrupted /"The biomachine philosophy introduces a whole set of ethical issues too, Player, as much as you might wish it is the first step to transhumanism."/
"Ah. Right. Like for example, the Hitler brain dilemma?" I mused. "What if someone lobotomized Hitler after being captured, destroying his memories and effectively making him someone new. Should he still be held responsible for something he doesn't remember, something that was effectively done by a different person in the same body?"
/"You're resorting to Godwin so quickly, but all right. Humans societies are programmed by symbols. Memes. Fairness itself is one such meme. It could go either way, but a living brain-damaged Hitler would always be enduring unfair hostility and becomes a living symbol… if his memories could be said to come back, then he would still be incentivized to hide it and pretend to be an invalid. Do you believe in a reform-based punishment system, Player?"/
"Actually, yes. But here there's nothing to reform. So it would still be politically most prudent to see him hang and conclusively end the Second World War. The many also need to be able to finally move on."
/"That is so grossly utilitarian, you could justify so many evil acts for the sake of helping the most people. You would technically be destroying an innocent to palliate the feelings of the many. Omelas calls."/
(ʰᵗᵗᵖˢ﹕/ᵉᶰ⋅ʷᶦᵏᶦᵖᵉᵈᶦᵃ⋅ᵒʳᵍ/ʷᶦᵏᶦ/ᵀʰᵉ_ᴼᶰᵉˢ_ᵂʰᵒ_ᵂᵃᶫᵏ_ᴬʷᵃʸ_ᶠʳᵒᵐ_ᴼᵐᵉᶫᵃˢ)
"Maybe. But for this particular question, brain damage is the start of karma, not a convenient way out. A villain can become a savior can become a villain again and literally split into two good and evil halves and find redemption the end, as witness the Case of Darth Revan. It's all in the mind. An Adolf Hitler is not particularly useful to the war effort and the reconstruction."
/"Then what about Casval Reim Deikum, Quattro Bajeena, and Char Aznable? All of them the same person."/
"What about him? He was a deeply flawed person. Different names don't make a person. No one messed with his memories, all his mistakes was his own to bear. A person changes through the years of their lives too."
/"Then what about Zah Playa Von Chara?"/
"He too will have to carry that weight." I said with wan smile. "He remembers what was before, and just refuses to allow that to influence the now. Our minds might hold us, but it is our actions that define us. Also, he will stop referring to himself in the third person now."
"Aaaahhh!"
We turned at Charlotte's scream. She was pointing again and leaning so far off her chair she looked almost ready to lunge at me. "That… that sound. That voice! So… is it true?! Have you really contracted with a spirit?!"
"… contract is… not how I would put it. Prenuptial agreement?"
Monika scoffed. /"You certainly won't find a paralegal for a paranormal relationship."/
Charlotte was giving out a happy little squeal. "Can you… can you hear me? Please, may I… may I speak to you, oh honored spirit?! There are so many things I wish to know… please, I beg you!"
"Let me handle things from here on, Player. I have questions too."
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"… I have a question!" Linze said suddenly.
We all turned to her. She blushed and fidgeted. After a few moments to gather her courage again, she asked "Practice and casting the same spell over and over. Is that really the only way to improve one's magic reserves? There's no other way?"
Charlotte nodded. "There is no other way. The strength of your main affinity affects intensity, so it requires less effort to reach the same effect. It means that it requires much less time to improve your control over how much you can release in spells. But secondary affinities can certainly still be made easier to cast."
I thought:
Get a larger Magic Stone? No, wait, while that would ease the problem it doesn't actually address the underlying issue.
"And if not, they could at least be made faster to cast," Charlotte continued, returning to the well metaphor. She formed a circle shape with her fingers. "It may improve recovery time from spell fatigue. Some have reported being able to cast at least one more before feeling drained. Widening the well also increases the amount of water in it, maybe?"
/"Despite how it may look, magic doesn't really come that easily to us,"/ Monika offered. /"I don't need to sleep at all, and so can spend all that time while everyone else is sleeping with only my thoughts and my spells. And Player… well, you ever wonder why he doesn't sweat going around with so many layers of clothes? He's constantly practicing with small results from the many magic stones he has embedded into parts of his clothes./
/"Even his steps barely touch the ground anymore, which eases a lot of the effort from walking. But really I think that's just lazy and will give him fat beer belly. If the rest of him becomes fat and jolly I would actually be fine with that, but a big gut alone is unbecoming."/ She glanced at me. /"I know you like to ham it up, Player, but don't go Full Shatner."/
"I see…" Linze replied. She stared intently at the court magician's serene smile. "I have… I have to work hard to catch up. Thank you for answering."
Charlotte nodded. "It is all right. Those who work hard will surely see improvement. That is the fairness of magic." She turned to us again and asked "Now, may I ask?"
/"Please do."/
"First of all, while I am very interested in the hidden inner workings of the human brain, it was also intriguing to hear about how you healed Mister Reim. Where did you learn the spells for that?"
I pointed to Linze. She eeped and quickly shook her head. "N-no, it wasn't me! I didn't do anything!"
"It was a team effort," I had to say. "It was surgery. I think I already said that the [Cure Heal] was standard?"
"I think she's talking about [Blood Maker], [Blood Bend], and [Resuscitation], Mister Zah! I certainly never taught you that."
Ah. Well. I wondered about the wisdom of telling people I could invent spells. It could be a lot of hassle down the line if people would bug me for custom spells.
I held out my hand with my fingers out, the left shaped like an 'L' for "Lie?" and the other like an 'O' for "Honesty?" towards Monika.
She looked back at me quizzically, and then after a while made gestures back with the fingers on one hand showing a 'V' and the other with three fingers out showing a Roman 'E'.
Ahahaha…
Charlotte smiled. "Yes, what is most interesting about them is that TWO OF THEM are not Light element spells! Please explain how they work!"
Monika blinked, and her expression turned to one of horror. /"That's… that's right! [Blood Maker] is a Light Spell, but Water and Wind don't have the protections against overload that Light Spells have! Were you taking an unreasonable risk with untested spells? Explain yourself, Player."/
"… Not completely untested..." I objected weakly. Self-experimentation counts, right?
/"You fool…! You… you double mon-keigh!"/ Monika groaned out. /"How did you even hide that from me? Of course… the fact that you needed to do that means that you knew you were doing something wrong."/
She turned to Charlotte and asked, /"That's a thing that can happen, right? Imagine casting Water directly onto someone's veins. They would just… explode!"/
Sue eeped at Monika's shout. The butler, standing behind the Duke and Daughter Ortlinde, flinched even though he had already lived through that.
"It's not that bad. I mean, actually because Healing Spells are so general purpose is why they're bad at specific results." I touched two fingers of my hand over my wrist. "What [Blood Maker] actually does is to stimulate the bone marrow production.
"But because blood has four main components – plasma, red blood cells, white blood cells, and platelets - [Blood Maker] is not producing blood from nowhere, which is why it gets around the restrictions of other spells. It has to be cast in conjunction with a Water spell because part of what [Blood Maker] does is to replace water lost from blood loss while the marrow goes overtime producing cells."
/"But overload would still be dangerous, isn't that right? Bone marrow failure is just as deadly. And Blood Bend could burst vessels if improperly applied."/
"But unlike Light spells where you just throw magic power in there hoping something will happen, you can at least feel and regulate the flow of magic. Because it's Water, you can feel movement. You don't get that feedback with Light. So, [Blood Bend] is important to keep the blood moving, to increase blood pressure, and so prevent the advent of shock."
/"Then what about [Resuscitation]?"/
"That's even safer. Yes, there's bone and skin and muscle tissue in the way… but because of the oddities of basic [Wind] spells, the produced air will appear in the nearest empty space out from the pointing fingers. It's really just basic elemental Wind at minimal output. I'm actually surprised no one has tried it before."
"Pardon me, but… may I say something?" Charlotte inserted herself into our little exchange.
/"Oh, sorry. This is supposed to be your interview. Please, go ahead."/
"There actually is a spell like that. But it is called [Inner Breath]."
I raised both arms. "Yay."
/"So you already knew that it was possible to have healing spells that are not in the Light element?"/ Monika figured out that it was a test. /"Is it possible to overcharge that?"/
Charlotte nodded. It wasn't a test of our knowledge, she just wanted to hear our thoughts about her field of study. "Inner Breath is applied with the palms, not fingers. And the results of spell failure is still just wasted energy. This is because the effects of the spell are defined in the chant… 'Come Forth, Wind! Living air, [Inner Breath]'!"
Charlotte opened her palm out and a slight breeze issued forth. "It is a spell that works best when cast without a magic stone, because it will have a lessened effect… but also much more fatiguing because of that."
Then she laced her fingers together and asked "Could you please share the full version of the spell?"
Monika leaned towards me and made a whispering pose covering her mouth, and spoke through my earphones, /"Player, I think you might actually be allowed to ask for a fair price for this. Spellmaking might be lucrative venture?"/
"Yeees, that is what I was worried about. We haven't actually tested if it's safe for anyone but me to use. How much of it is actually visualization and how much is the incantation?"
"Excuse me, but I couldn't help but to overhear what you just said, and I would be happy to help test the spell!" said Charlotte.
/"Two people are needed, one to cast the spell and the other to face mortal peril!"/ Monika answered.
Charlotte touched a finger to her lips and then smiled. "I choose to take the life of danger~."
Dang it. Which meant that since we needed someone who could cast Light, and since Sue was disqualified as an utter novice, that just left…
All of us slowly turned our heads like turrets to stare at Linze again.
"No!" she yelped.
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Now we all sat much closer together. Linze and Charlotte sat facing each other on the sofa. Charlotte had her jacket sleeves rolled back and Linze traced with her fingers the blue lines of her veins. Linze did have Water affinity, so she could perform [Blood Bend].
"Remember, just utmost minimum of energy," I instructed while sitting on the table facing them. Monika was on the floor, projecting up and looking like she was leaning over to take a look. "Too sudden increase in blood pressure can lead to anything from shortness of breath, nausea, varicose veins, mini strokes, blindness, or heart attacks."
"Mister Zaaah…!" Linze wailed.
/"Stop scaring her Player. The worst I think may happen are some unflattering varicose veins. Those happen as a result of damaged valves causing blood to flow back into the vein, causing pooling and swelling. (ʰᵗᵗᵖˢ:/ʷʷʷ.ᵐᵃʸᵒᶜˡᶦⁿᶦᶜ.ᵒʳᵍ/ᵈᶦˢᵉᵃˢᵉˢ⁻ᶜᵒⁿᵈᶦᵗᶦᵒⁿˢ/ᵛᵃʳᶦᶜᵒˢᵉ⁻ᵛᵉᶦⁿˢ/ˢʸᵐᵖᵗᵒᵐˢ⁻ᶜᵃᵘˢᵉˢ/ˢʸᶜ⁻²⁰³⁵⁰⁶⁴³)
/Also called incompetent valves instead of healthy valves. Yes, it's those big bulging veins that happen in the leg due to age and too much standing or walking. Yes, they are quite ugly."/
Uh, why are you emphasizing that part, Monika? Also, couldn't that be fixed with [Cure Heal] as recent damage anyway?
"So… it's not dangerous?" Linze asked.
I nodded slowly. "Just try to feel something happening. I designed this to have feedback to your own blood in your fingertips. The greater the pressure in the vein, the greater the pressure you feel in your own fingers."
Charlotte looked up sharply. "Wait, what was that-"
"W-water, come! Attend life's flows! [Blood Bend!]" Linze chanted.
Linze traced the court magician's shapely arm from wrist to elbow. Charlotte's fingers twitched, as if tickled.
"I felt something, but it was not really very different from being touched. Did you…?"
"No, my fingertips were away from your skin at all times!" Linze answered.
Charlotte experimentally twitched her fingers some more. Was it going numb or was she just imagining things?
"You know, it occurs to me that this experiment would be much more usable with blood in a tube," I said far too late. The girls all groaned at me. What, Monika thought you needed two people too! I shouldn't have to take all of the blame!
Then, [Blood Maker].
Linze put her fingers on the meaty part of Charlotte's forearm. Then she began to chant "Light, come forth! Life's brilliant rubies! [Blood Maker!]"
A bright flash of light appeared from under her fingertips.
Then she slumped down onto Charlotte's breasts. She began to drool. Linze was suddenly and completely knocked out.
Shite. There was something wrong with the spell!
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