It's my friend Nok's birthday! So I thought we could all enjoy a chapter of the crime fam beginning to work together. Kei is Nok's OC and I feel honored that she's let me use Kei for so long, I really love the dynamic Kei has with Obake and Moth. Obakei forever!
"So this is your lair?" Seth asked, a little underwhelmed as they sat on Kei and Obake's couch.
"Well, it's just an apartment for now. But we're working on upgrading," Kei said, handing Seth a mug of tea and then sitting on the arm of the armchair Obake was sitting in. He instinctively wrapped an arm around her.
"We can't all have a hidden basement lair," Obake said.
"Yeah, you only get those when you win discrimination lawsuits. Have either of you considered being trans?" Obake and Kei did not respond to that.
"Hey, what about the Sycorax settlement? Could be good lair money."
"It's Kei's money," Obake said, "I'm not going to tell her what to do with it."
"What did you do with it?" Seth asked.
"I paid some bills, upgraded my equipment for my shows… Et cetera."
"Ah, yeah, that makes sense. Can I ask you something, Kei?"
"Sure, kiddo."
"I know you're just as much of a criminal as Obake, but what exactly is it that you do?"
Kei laughed, "Oh, yeah! I guess I've never explained it. You know my DJ Parasite shows?"
"Yeah, I've been to several, Morgan is the biggest fan in the world."
"Debatable," Obake said, holding Kei even closer.
"Anyway, I use those concerts to put people in a trance using mind control parasites and then I rob them. But like, only the people who have things to be robbed. I've probably never stolen from you or Morgan."
"Good to know… Sounds fun. It makes sense that every show I went to I came home not remembering anything. I thought I was just repeatedly getting trashed but mind control makes more sense in San Fransokyo."
Kei laughed, "The crime never sleeps in San Fransokyo."
"Have you had any run-ins with Big Hero 6?"
Obake rolled his eyes when Seth mentioned the group of vigilantes.
"I personally haven't. I don't think I'm on their radar. What did you call me, babe? A b-list criminal?"
"Take it as a compliment, dear. Morgan is still c-list at best."
"Morgan is not a criminal. Anti-hero? Sure. But I'm the one who egged her on to begin bashing buddy guards, and she hasn't done anything truly criminal since she robbed Krei."
"Isn't she still spying on him?" Obake asked.
"Aren't you?"
"Touché."
"I'm the only real criminal in the relationship. I tried to have a respectable job but I ended up working for a villain anyway, at least if I know I'm working with a crime lord I can set my own boundaries and protect the people I care about."
"We would never do anything to hurt your friends or family," Kei promised.
"You know that includes Big Hero 6, right?"
"If Hiro wanted to be protected, then he should have taken my offer when it was available," Obake said.
"Your offer would have killed everyone in the city. Including Kei."
Kei looked at him, raising an eyebrow, "You know, sometimes I forget about that whole, mass genocide thing."
"Well, it was a one-time thing. I currently have no plans to kill every single person in the city."
"Good, because I will turn on you so fast if you do," Seth said.
"I love you, 'Bake, but if you had plans to kill everyone in the city I would probably also turn on you."
"I bet we could take him," Seth said, fist-bumping Kei.
"Yeah, yeah. How'd you even end up in the good graces of Big Hero 6? Don't they know you're a criminal?"
"No, they know that I've committed a crime. That's different than just being a criminal."
Obake shrugged.
"I was already friends with one of them, after the whole thing with Krei Tech happened I just had to work a little harder to befriend the rest of them. They're all pretty cool, actually. Morgan is a lot closer to Hiro than I'll ever be, they're basically siblings, but I'd feel better if we didn't target any of them."
"It's going to be hard to commit crime without taking out the city's superheroes," Obake pointed out, crossing his arms.
"Well, we could always inconvenience them… Anyway, I don't know if we really need to worry about them. I heard that the new chief of police wants to crack down on the superheroes. Which means Hiro might be grounded."
"Well, that's convenient. Unless he cracks down twice as hard on the supervillains, and then we're out of luck," Kei said.
"Darling, like you said, you're not on anybody's radar. And I intend to keep it that way. Perhaps a lesser villain might get caught, but I'm an old pro. No one knows I'm alive. Seth is the weakest link and Big Hero 6 already trusts them."
"I do need a believable job title, though, or people are going to begin asking questions."
"Oh! You can say you work for me. You can tell them you do my pyrotechnics or something."
"Vampyro lives to see another day," Seth said quietly to themself.
"What was that?" Kei asked.
"Nothing, never mind. That's a great idea. Do I get a merch discount?"
"Stick with me, kid, and I think I could even get you some merch for free."
"Morgan is gonna die when she hears about this."
"It does sound like one of her fanfics," Kei laughed.
"Don't forget that you work for me, though. Not Kei," Obake said.
"I don't see why I can't do both. Kei is already out there, committing crime. You're currently just scheming and spying."
"Scheming is an important part of what we do," Obake said.
"His plans for genocide fell through, give him some time to get back in a slightly less murderous saddle," Kei said, patting Obake's arm.
"Oh, for sure. I'm here for whatever you need, for an hourly rate, so take all the time you need. But perhaps while you scheme I can go ahead and get some work done with Kei. I could work for both of you."
"Just think about it, 'Bake. You and me, ruling the city with our crime child."
"I still didn't sign off on the whole, surrogate parent thing."
"That's okay, I didn't sign off on the whole, having shitty bio parents thing," Seth said.
"You can't guilt-trip me," Obake said, arms crossed.
"I'm not trying to, I just thought it would be nice to have a father who finally accepted me for who I am." Seth didn't mention the fact that Connor Drake technically accepted them for who they were, that wasn't the point. They were going to get Obake to "adopt" them or die trying.
Obake rolled his eyes and stood up, going to refill his mug and contemplate why he had hired this kid in the first place. When Obake stood up, Kei swooped in.
"Alright, kiddo! We're going to have to work out how you fit into my routine."
"I'm pretty sure I can do pyrotechnics. I'll watch a youtube video."
"Oh, I have complete faith in you, honey, but it's not just pyrotechnics. I'm going to teach you how to rob our patrons and interact with the parasites. It'll be a lot of fun. And it'll be nice working my shows with someone I can trust with my trade secrets."
Seth smiled, "I look forward to learning from the master."
Obake snorted in the other room.
"Pay no mind to that c-list criminal," Kei said, her eyes gleaming, "We're going to make a killing."
"But no actual killing, right? Just mind control?"
"Just mind control."
"You're the coolest person I know. After like, Booker."
"You're pretty cool yourself, Seth. Obviously, the important thing is that the parasites have+ to work on everyone or it doesn't work at all. If one person is conscious enough to see us stealing things then we're busted."
"What if we had a little help? I've been working on a cloaking suit that I can wear that would cover my wings, I could make a similar suit for you that mimics your DJ Parasite outfit. We could put on a nice distracting light show, maybe throw in a hologram Kei, and then bam! We'd be free to sneak around unseen by anyone. So even if someone wasn't susceptible to the mind control, or there were cameras or whatever, no one would know it was us!"
"You really think you could whip up hologram versions of us? Because if we're avoiding security cameras then you'd need a holo Seth as well."
"Yeah, I think I could do it. It would take a while to make it look realistic, I'd need to film you from several angles doing different things that you normally do during your show, and I'd have to get your measurements for the stealth suit, but I think this could work!"
"I knew I made the right call, hiring you."
"I hired them," Obake said, coming back with his mug.
"Oh, yeah. Well, we could definitely find a role for you in this plan," Kei said.
"No, no, it's fine. Seth works for you now. Seth, if I ever need to utilize you for any evil schemes I'll let you know, but for now, I relinquish my title as your boss over to my crime wife."
"Wife?" Seth raised an eyebrow and Kei blushed.
"It's complicated."
"Are you married or not married? That's not super complicated."
Kei spoke very quietly and very quickly so that Seth could barely hear her, "We may or may not have gotten eloped."
"Whoa, that's amazing."
"You don't think we moved too fast?" Kei asked nervously.
"No, when you know you know."
"Thanks… Because I do know that I love Obake. But sometimes it feels like we rushed it, because, like, I haven't even met his daughter yet."
"I told you, as soon as I locate her then I'll introduce you two," Obake said.
"I know, dear. I just want to know every part of you."
Seth cleared their throat.
"Sorry. Didn't mean to flirt on the job. Do you want to get my measurements now?"
Seth nodded. This really felt a lot like the first crime they had committed with Morgan. Things had seemed so much simpler back then, but there was very little Seth would change. This was where they were meant to be.
"It does kind of surprise me that you haven't met his daughter yet. I mean I've met Booker's daughter and we're not even dating," Seth said with a laugh as they carefully measured Kei with a spare measuring tape.
"You're not?" Obake said from the other room, glancing up from his newspaper.
"...No?"
"The way you talk to and about each other, I assumed. None of my business though, carry on." Obake hated himself for implying that he cared about Seth's personal life. He'd already gone on a double date with Morgan and Seth, he couldn't reveal himself as a complete and utter softie.
"Huh." Seth stopped measuring and looked down at their hands. Was it possible that they had feelings for Booker? And that Morgan also had feelings for Booker? And that Booker had feelings for both of them?
Seth ran through all the evidence in their head. Booker had already met Sadie and the Suspects, he'd met Adrianna, Kei, and even Obake… He'd met most of their respective families, at least the people that mattered, and introduced them to his daughter. He cooked with Seth and helped Morgan with the cleaning, easily slotting himself into their chore rotation. Right now Booker and Morgan were hanging out with Wasabi and Fred, so he was integrating himself into their friend group, too. They really were like a happy little family.
"Shit. It seems like I'm going to be having an important discussion soon." First with Morgan, and then, potentially, with Booker.
"Good luck, honey," Kei said supportively.
"Thanks. But for now, let's get back to work."
Question Of The Week- Purge time, if crime was legal for a day what crime would you commit? I'd probably do just a ton of shoplifting. Maybe download some movies lol.