The school talked of nothing but Sirius Black for the next few days. The theories about how he had entered the castle became wilder and wilder; Hannah Abbott, from Hufflepuff, spent much of their next Herbology class telling anyone who'd listen that Black could turn into a flowering shrub. Luna Lovegood, meanwhile, was heard in the Gryffindor common room explaining how Sirius Black was actually some singer from The Hobgoblins named Stubby Boardman and he was a good friend of Mr. Filch. Whether Luna was suggesting that Filch had let Black in or that it hadn't been Black at all who had broken into Hogwarts was unclear.
At breakfast, Dean reminded Dudley that he had had a thought.
"Oh, yeah," Dudley said, through a mouthful of porridge.
He looked around the make sure they weren't been overheard. "We know Black is related to the Malfoys. So he's Malfoy's cousin. What if Malfoy is helping him?" He cast a dark look over at the Slytherin table.
"Didn't Fred and George think that, too?" asked Neville.
"Nah, they thought Malfoy might know where his father is hiding," Ron replied. "But Dudley has a point. Malfoy is the obvious answer."
"Or Snape, remember—he was a Death Eater," Dean said.
"Dumbledore trusts Snape," Hermione said.
"Yeah, but we haven't seen any proof that Snape has changed," Ron argued.
"He killed Slytherin's monster, didn't he?" Hermione asked, looking at Dudley.
Dudley nodded. "That's what Dumbledore said. Snape's horrible, but, I dunno … I don't think Dumbledore would keep him around if he was still evil."
"Malfoy is possible," Hermione said slowly. "If Lucius Malfoy has got in touch with him and asked him to help get Black inside."
They didn't have much more to go on, so Dean and Ron turned the conversation to the upcoming quidditch match between Gryffindor and Slytherin.
Meanwhile, the Fat Lady's ripped canvas had been taken off the wall and replaced with the portrait of Sir Cadogan and his fat gray pony. Nobody was very happy about this. Sir Cadogan spent half his time challenging people to duels, and the rest thinking up ridiculously complicated passwords, which he changed at least twice a day.
"He's a complete lunatic," said Seamus Finnigan angrily to Percy. "Can't we get anyone else?"
"None of the other pictures wanted the job," said Percy. "Frightened of what happened to the Fat Lady. Sir Cadogan was the only one brave enough to volunteer."
Despite the fuss over Black, classes continued as normal. Despite his failure to handle the boggart, Dudley was doing well in Professor Lupin's class. He was the third best behind Hermione and Dean at tackling the various dark creatures he presented and even answered some questions in class—something he very rarely did otherwise.
He also continued to do well in Hagrid's class which continued to be fun. After the Abraxan Horses, Hagrid had took them through Fire Crabs (tortoise-like creatures with jeweled shells which could shoot fire), Leprechauns (Ron had been delighted when they flew over the class, showering them with gold coins until Hagrid explained they were fake) and Merpeople in a memorable class where Hagrid had taken them to the edge of the lake where a merman had come up to meet them. Hagrid had demonstrated how they could only be understood while underwater—the class took it turns to stick their head into the lake to hear the merman speak to them. Care of Magical Creatures was quickly becoming Dudley's favorite subject. Hagrid had promised to try and secure them a Manticore to study after Christmas, too and even spoke about taking them on a field trip to see a Common Welsh Green dragon at some point.
Shortly before the quidditch match, they trooped into the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom expecting to see Lupin, only to see Severus Snape there instead.
"Sit down," he said, shortly.
"Where's Professor Lupin?" Dean asked.
"Five points from Gryffindor. If you don't sit down, I'll make it ten," Snape said.
Shooting each other dark looks, they all sat down.
"What's wrong with him?" Parvati asked.
"Nothing life threatening," Snape sneered. "That's five more points from Gryffindor. Stop asking questions and listen. Now, Professor Lupin has not left any record of the topics you have covered so far -"
"Please, sir, we've done Boggarts, Red Caps, Kappas, and Grindylows," said Hermione quickly, "and we're just about to start -"
"Be quiet," said Snape coldly. "I did not ask for information. I was merely commenting on Professor Lupin's lack of organization."
"He's the best Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher we've ever had," said Dean Thomas boldly, and there was a murmur of agreement from the rest of the class. Snape looked more menacing than ever.
"You are easily satisfied. Lupin is hardly overtaxing you - I would expect first years to be able to deal with Red Caps and Grindylows. Today we shall discuss -"
Dudley watched him flick through the textbook, to the very back chapter, which he must know they hadn't covered.
"- werewolves," said Snape.
"But, sir," said Hermione, seemingly unable to restrain herself, "we're not supposed to do werewolves yet, we're due to start Hinkypunks -"
"Miss Granger," said Snape in a voice of deadly calm, "I was under the impression that I am teaching this lesson, not you. And I am telling you all to turn to page 394." He glanced around again. "All of you! Now!"
With many bitter sidelong looks and some sullen muttering, the class opened their books.
"Which of you can tell me how we distinguish between the werewolf and the true wolf?" said Snape.
Everyone sat in motionless silence; everyone except Hermione, whose hand, as it so often did, had shot straight into the air.
"Anyone?" Snape said, ignoring Hermione. His twisted smile was back. "Are you telling me that Professor Lupin hasn't even taught you the basic distinction between -"
"We told you," said Parvati suddenly, "we haven't got as far as werewolves yet, we're still on -"
"Silence!" snarled Snape. "Well, well, well, I never thought I'd meet a third-year class who wouldn't even recognize a werewolf when they saw one. I shall make a point of informing Professor Dumbledore how very behind you all are..."
Please, sir," said Hermione, whose hand was still in the air, "the werewolf differs from the true wolf in several small ways. The snout of the werewolf -"
"That is the second time you have spoken out of turn, Miss Granger," said Snape coolly. "Five more points from Gryffindor for being an insufferable know-it-all."
Hermione went very red, put down her hand, and stared at the floor with her eyes full of tears. It was a mark of how much the class loathed Snape that they were all glaring at him, because every one of them had called Hermione a know-it-all at least once, and Ron, who told Hermione she was a know-it-all at least twice a week, said loudly, "You asked us a question and she knows the answer! Why ask if you don't want to be told?"
The class knew instantly he'd gone too far. Snape advanced on Ron slowly, and the room held its breath.
"Detention, Weasley," Snape said silkily, his face very close to Ron's. "And if I ever hear you criticize the way I teach a class again, you will be very sorry indeed."
The class were all shooting daggers at Snape.
"Now," Snape sneered. "Longbottom. Let's see if you show the same incompetence for this subject as you do potions. How would you escape a Grindylow?"
Neville turned pink at being addressed by Snape, but answered, "Break its fingers."
"A simple answer from a simple boy. But I expected nothing less from such a dunderhead. Break its fingers … an infant could have told you as much."
Neville took a deep breath. "Don't talk to me like that." He said suddenly.
The class let out a sudden gasp. Dudley gave Neville a thumbs up behind Snape's back.
"What did you say?" Snape said icily.
Neville squirmed and turned a brighter shade of pink, but held Snape's gaze. "I said, don't speak to me like that, Professor. You always talk to me like that and … and I'm asking you to stop"
The class stared at Neville in shock. He was usually terrified of Snape.
Ron shot Dean a glance. It had been Dean who suggested that Neville stand up to Snape a few weeks ago. None of them, however, expected he would do it, let alone today.
"Detention, Longbottom," Snape said finally. "You can think about why it is wrong to criticize my teaching methods while cleaning out the Hogwarts toilets. And if you ever attempt to embarrass me in front of a class again like that, you will walk out the door and never come back."
Neville, his face glowing, gave a small nod. "Yes, Professor," his voice cold.
No one made a sound throughout the rest of the lesson. They sat and made notes on werewolves from the textbook, while Snape prowled up and down the rows of desks, examining the work they had been doing with Professor Lupin.
"Very poorly explained...That is incorrect, the Kappa is more commonly found in Mongolia...Professor Lupin gave this eight out of ten? I wouldn't have given it three..."
When the bell rang at last, Snape held them back.
"You will each write an essay, to be handed in to me, on the ways you recognize and kill werewolves. I want two rolls of parchment on the subject, and I want them by Monday morning. It is time somebody took this class in hand. Weasley, Longbottom stay behind, we need to arrange your detention."
Dudley, Dean and Hermione left the room with the rest of the class, who waited until they were well out of earshot, then burst into a furious tirade about Snape.
"Snape's never been like this with any of our other Defense Against the Dark Arts teachers, even if he did want the job," Dudley said to Hermione. "Why's he got it in for Lupin? D'you think this is all because of the Boggart?"
"I don't know," said Hermione pensively. "But I really hope Professor Lupin gets better soon..."
Ron and Neville caught up with them five minutes later. Ron was in a towering rage.
"D'you know what that -" (he called Snape something that made Hermione say "Ron!") "- is making me do? I've got to scrub out the bedpans in the hospital wing. Without magic!" He was breathing deeply, his fists clenched. "Why couldn't Black have hidden in Snape's office, eh? He could have finished him off for us!"
Neville however was quiet.
Dudley grinned at him. "Nev, that was brilliant!" he said and Dean grinned.
"The look on Snape's face," Dean said. "I never knew you had it in you."
"Neither did I," Neville said. "I wish I hadn't, he's just going to be worse from now on."
"Nah, it's good you put him in his place," Dudley said. "The greasy haired git."
Dudley frowned, thoughtfully. "I've an idea, how about we have Neville join our next curse practice."
"We're still going to do them?" Ron asked.
"Why not? They were fun and useful," Dudley replied
"Conjunctivitis saved our lives last year," Dean said.
"Exactly, and with Black and Malfoy on the loose, we should definitely learn more spells."
"Fair point," said Ron. "But it will have to be next weekend. There's the big quidditch match this Saturday."