Embarrassed:

Before the movie even started, Anakin had a feeling he wasn't going to like it very much.

Even if it was spectacularly made and well acted, he doubted that his character portrayal was going to make him look good. Unless they got the story horribly wrong, Anakin knew there were going to be plenty of opportunities for Obi-Wan and Ahsoka to laugh their heads off at his sheer patheticness when it came to his efforts at courting Padmè.

Why couldn't they have picked a different movie to show us? Like one that takes place during the second Battle of Geonosis or something; that would have been action packed and angsty enough to satisfy any audience.

But they hadn't, and now Anakin was stuck.

The movie started with subtitles in Huttese, which they were all thankfully fluent in, it being the second most common language in the galaxy after Basic. (Which just goes to show how influential the giant slugs were.)

It started with fanfare as two movie company logos were shown. 20th Century Fox and Lucas Holos Limited.

And then silence and a plain black screen as blue Earth letters translated into, A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…

Don't know about the long time ago bit, but the far away part is probably true.

And then another crash of emotional music as Star Wars in hollow yellow letters filled the screen and then faded back. (The more complicated Huttese translation would never have looked as good as the simple eight letters the Earth language used to say the same.) This was followed by a crawl of words that faded away as well.

Episode Two

ATTACK OF THE CLONES

"Interesting title choice. I probably would have said, 'Saved By The Clones' instead, though, if they're talking about the first Battle of Geonosis," he deliberately thought loud enough for his Master and Padawan to pick up on.

"Agreed," Obi-Wan thought back.

"I wish I was there," Ahsoka pouted.

"No you don't," both men thought back at the same time.

"Why?"

"It was a bloodbath," Obi-Wan thought grimly.

"We had no idea how to fight a proper war back then. So many died," Anakin elaborated.

"Oh."

Meanwhile, the introductory synopsis had been scrolling up the screen and away into the distance.

There is unrest in the Galactic

Senate. Several thousand solar

systems have declared their

intentions to leave the Republic.

This separatist movement,

under the leadership of the

mysterious Count Dooku, has

made it difficult for the limited

number of Jedi Knights to

maintain peace and order in

the galaxy.

Senator Amidala, the former

Queen of Naboo, is returning

to the Galactic Senate to vote

on the critical issue of creating

an ARMY OF THE REPUBLIC

to assist the overwhelmed

Jedi...

"Well, we know exactly where the movie starts," Padmè murmured. "That was my first vote as a Senator."

The movie opened with a breathtaking shot of the city planet of Coruscant, followed by four Nubian craft; 3 small yellow starfighters escorting the sleek silver Nubian diplomatic barge.

"And if this is as accurate as I'm afraid it's going to be," she continued solemnly, "then Cordè is about to die in an explosion meant for me."

Anakin found her hand where it was tightly fisted in her lap and squeezed it in comfort as the ships landed on a platform. She grabbed his hand and laced their fingers together, holding tightly.

Ahsoka looked over at them sharply. "What? No."

"Unfortunately, yes."

A female pilot climbs down from one of the starfighters and their astromech follows after. "Artooie!" Ahsoka exclaimed, but with not nearly as much joy in it as she normally would have had, her mood tempered by foreknowledge.

The female pilot joins a male pilot, who takes off his helmet. His left eye has a patch on it and he bares a decent resemblance to the eye patch wearing man seated at the table. Dormè nudged Captain Typho and whispered, "You're hotter."

Typho visibly blushed despite his darkish skin.

They should just get married and stop teasing each other all ready, Anakin thought with fond exasperation.

We made it! fake Typho said, looking at the female pilot triumphantly. A procession comes down the ramp of the Nubian cruiser. Guess I was wrong. There was no danger at all.

Beside him, Padmè whimpered and turned her head into his shoulder, mumbling, "I can't watch."

Before the woman dressed in white, pretending to be Amidala, and her security escort could finish descending the ramp, the cruiser exploded in three different bursts. Metal parts and bodies went flying.

Ahsoka made a mewling sound of sorrow and Obi-Wan patted her arm in sympathy.

The female pilot ran to the woman in the white dress (which wasn't so white anymore), and knelt down as she pulled off her helmet, revealing the real fake Senator Amidala. In the background, fake Typho had pulled his blaster and was searching for the enemy but finding no one, he knelt by another body.

Fake Amidala (Anakin couldn't think of the actress as Padmè, no matter how similar she looked) rolled over the injured woman. Cordè!

My lady, the woman breathed. So sorry. I failed you, Senator.

No, Amidala cried just before the other woman died.

"That was almost Padmè!" Ahsoka whispered in shock, staring at the screen with wide eyes. Anakin knew exactly how she felt, because he'd had the same reaction, but maybe ten times worse, when he'd heard the news about her body double being killed. The movie played on as everyone looked at his grimacing wife. "How many times have people tried to assassinate you?!" the girl ask/demanded.

"Too many," Anakin answered grimly.

"Twenty-three," Typho said just as grimly.

"And that's not counting the times she blatantly strolled into danger all on her own," Dormè added.

"Like following me into a wormhole," Anakin grumbled.

This inspired a bit of a smile from everyone, as he knew it would, lightening the mood.

In the background, Anakin heard Threepio starting to translate their words for the Earth Humans in their own language as he learned it. By the end of the movie, the droid would be fluent enough to translate without anyone having to go through Huttese first.

On the screen, the movie was now showing Chancellor Palpatine's incredibly red office. He was seated behind his desk and in front of him were half the Jedi High Council and one Padawan. Masters Yoda, Windu, Mundi, and Koon had gotten the available seats, while Fisto, Unduli, and Padawan Offee had been forced to remain standing. Everyone looked fairly true to their characters except for Kit. They'd someone managed to make him look big and ugly as opposed to his actual fit and dashing good looks. No one in their right mind would swoon over the awful costume job the movie had given Kit the way people swooned over him in real life. I can't wait to tease him that in another place and time, he's not a sex magnet. He'll be so devastated. Hehe.

Fake Palpatine was speaking. I don't know how much longer I can hold off the vote, my friends. More and more star systems are joining the Separatists.

If they do break away... Windu started to say, but was interrupted by the Chancellor.

I will not let this Republic that has stood for a thousand years be split in two! My negotiations will not fail!

If they do, Windu insisted. You must realize that there aren't enough Jedi to protect the Republic. We're keepers of the peace, not soldiers.

We are now.

Ahsoka echoed his thought out loud, earning her a sympathetic look from practically everybody.

Master Yoda, Palpatine asked. You think it will really come to war?

Yoda looked troubled. As he usually did these days. The Dark side clouds everything. Impossible to see, the future is.

"That was two years ago," Obi-Wan said with a shake of his head, catching Anakin's attention. "It's only gotten worse."

"Coruscant has always felt Dark to me. Tatooine was a wretched place and never felt good, but Coruscant was much, much worse. I had a bad feeling about the planet from the first time we landed on it. I got used to it eventually. Learned to block it out."

Obi-Wan looked at him in shock and dawning horror. "Is that why you felt so fearful when you met the Council the first time?"

Anakin shrugged. "Mostly. Also, the Council were very intimidating. And... I was worried about my Mom being left alone, still a slave."

Padmè hugged his arm, radiating sympathy and support. Ahsoka looked like she wanted to jump over Obi-Wan to hug him too. And Obi-Wan... he looked devastated. "I'm sorry, Anakin. We handled that all wrong, didn't we?"

To save Obi-Wan's feelings, Anakin chose not to answer. He just sent his Master a wave of forgiveness and Ahsoka and Padmè a burst of reassurance that he was fine and then turned his attention back to the movie. Windu was talking to Amidala. (The actress they'd chosen was admittedly beautiful, but didn't shine with inner goodness like his Padmè did. And his Padmè was definitely more attractive to him.) (Then again, no was more attractive to him.)

You know, my Lady, Count Dooku was once a Jedi. He couldn't assassinate anyone. It's not in his character.

Anakin, Obi-Wan, and Ahsoka all snorted in amusement at that bald-faced, but forgivably naive mistruth. Dooku and his hired assassins had a kill count a few kilometres long.

But, for certain, Senator, in grave danger you are, Yoda prophesied. He wasn't wrong.

"That sentence could apply to you a hundred times over in the past two years alone," Anakin whispered loudly to his wife.

Typho huffed in agreement.

Padmè hit him.

Ahsoka, Obi-Wan, and Dormè snickered.

Threepio broke his translating to say, "Oh dear," in Basic.

Anakin grinned and kissed Padmè's head.

She rolled her eyes at him.

The assembled space nerds were watching them with fascinated expressions, completely ignoring the movie.

Said movie rolled on.

Master Jedi, may I suggest the Senator be placed under the protection of your Graces?

"Smartest words Palpatine's ever said," Anakin muttered in agreement.

Padmè hit him again. To make a point, Anakin rubbed at the spot on his chest that was getting abused, but still smiled. (Her annoyed love taps, while strong enough, just couldn't compare to what he took when sparring with Rex and the boys or even Ahsoka.)

You really think that's a wise decision in these stressful times? the graceful mountain that was Bail Organa said. Also in the picture now were Typho, Dormè, Jar Jar (eye roll), and two brightly skinned Twi'lek girls that must have come in with Orn Free Taa. (He saw a few seconds later that he was correct as the camera angle shifted.)

"Chancellor, if I may comment, I do not believe the situations is..." Padmè murmured at the same time as the actress playing her and a fraction before the translation appeared on the screen.

"Freaky," Ahsoka whispered.

"It is uncannily accurate so far," Padmè said, still frowning. "Except it was Senator Ryyder with us, not Free Taa. He would never be part of the Loyalist Committee."

"They probably just wanted an excuse to put the hot Twi'leks onscreen," Ahsoka grumbled.

"You're undoubtedly right," Obi-Wan agreed dryly, as only he could.

Ahsoka growled just loud enough to make some of the nerds' eyes widen and some of them look like they'd happily follow her like a puppy. (None of them liked Free Taa and his 'escorts' who were undoubtedly slaves.) Anakin glared at the puppy ones until they got the point, which was a surprisingly quick.

On the screen, as Yoda looked at the Chancellor thoughtfully, Palpatine was saying, But... Perhaps someone you're familiar with... An old friend like... Master Kenobi?

That's possible. He's just returned from a border dispute on Ansion, Windu said as everyone in Amidala's group tried not to outright glare at him. Organa turned his gaze down to the floor, looking like he really wanted to say something but was restraining himself. You'd think they didn't want more help, Anakin thought sarcastically.

Do if for me, my Lady, please, Palpatine more or less begged. The thought of losing you... is unbearable.

"I second that," Anakin whispered in Padmè's ear.

She shot him an indecipherable look that changed to soft love when she saw that he was very serious.

I will have Obi-Wan report to you immediately, my Lady, Windu said with a bow. (One of the very few people he's ever bowed to, as far as Anakin knew.)

Thank you, Master Windu, Amidala nodded stiffly once in return.

The scene changed to later in the day and showed a fairly credible replica of Padmè's apartment building, with decent music playing. A younger version of himself and Obi-Wan were riding an elevator up to her floor.

Anakin breathed a quick sigh of relief that the movie had skipped over the part where he'd found out that Padmè was on Coruscant and that they were being assigned as her bodyguards. He would always remember it, since it was the beginning of the moment when his dreams started coming true.

Anakin was flopped down, face first into his bed, grateful to be on it again, too brain-tired from the very boring week-long negotiations on Ansion to even think about unpacking yet. Or bathing. Or eating. Or even just moving. Through the open door of his room, he could hear Obi-Wan puttering around in their shared kitchenette, making tea. (His Master had grumbled about the lack of drinkable tea for the whole week in Anakin's head as well, all while wearing that pleasant expression of calm that made Anakin want to either hit him or tickle him until he cracked the mask.)

A comm chimed. Obi-Wan answered. "This is Kenobi."

"Obi-Wan, I'm sorry to put you back on assignment right away, but I have one for you that has been specifically requested by the Chancellor," Master Windu said in his distinctive rumble.

Anakin groaned into his blanket. He'd much rather sleep for a week to make up for what he'd missed while catering to the idiots who couldn't agree on a simple border between two nations when there was a clear divide already available in the form of a huge river that cut across nearly the entire continent. All they had to do was move a few people around to either side of it and they'd never have to interact again if they didn't want to. (His silver-tongued and very patient Master had eventually made them see this, but it had taken much, much too long.)

"Of course," Obi-Wan said cheerfully, as if he wasn't just as sleep-deprived. "What are the details?"

"The newly elected Senator of Naboo is in need of additional protection." Anakin tensed abruptly at the name of the planet. Padmè? "There's already been an assassination attempt on her when she arrived on planet a few hours ago. They blew up her ship and seven of her people, including her body double."

Anakin flew off his bed, horror making him tremble as he peered out the door at Obi-Wan, hanging onto the frame as his knees threatened to collapse. Why didn't I sense she was in danger? he wailed to himself.

Obi-Wan glanced at him and sent him a wave of calm. "Amidala is all right, though?"

"Yes," Windu confirmed, and Anakin was able to breathe again. "How did you know it was Amidala? I never said her name."

Obi-Wan shot him a wry look. "Ah. That would be my Padawan's fault. He's been keeping track of his friend's career and loves to inform me about it ad nauseum."

Anakin blushed as Windu said, "I see," in the most disapproving tone possible. "If it were up to me, based on that alone, I would assign someone else to protect the Senator, but you have been requested and Amidala barely seemed tolerant of the choice of someone she actually knew. I do agree she needs protection, so the two of you are it."

Yes! I get to see Padmè again! Force, I love Palpatine. He knows I've been dying to see her in person and has made it so I can! Anakin bounced with joy and smacked his head on the ceiling because he accidentally used the Force too. "Ow!"

Obi-Wan shook his head at him.

Windu said, "What was that?"

"Nothing to worry about, Mace," Obi-Wan covered for him. "Just my clutzy teenage Padawan stubbing his toe."

Anakin glared at Obi-Wan as he rubbed his head.

"Ah. I see. Anyhow, please report to Senator Amidala's apartment as soon as possible."

"Will do. We'll be there within the hour."

Anakin rushed to the door of the their little apartment suite.

"Very good."

Obi-Wan put his comm back in his belt and raised an eyebrow at Anakin. "Is that how you're going to present yourself to the good Senator?"

Anakin looked down at himself and cursed under his breath in Huttese. I'm a mess! And he was. His tunics and trousers were rumpled and stained badly enough that it was visible even on the dark fabric. He could feel his unwashed hair trying to crawl around on his head. And he was pretty sure there was at least a two day growth of stubble on his face. He undoubtedly stank too, after trudging around in too many layers of dark clothing under the bright summer sun of Ansion.

"You have five minutes," Obi-Wan said with a smirk, "before I'm charging into the refresher too, whether you're finished or not."

"Kark!" Anakin bolted for the room in question to the sound of Obi-Wan's laughter and a chiding word of, "Language!"

And just because the Force hated him, Anakin stubbed his toe on the doorframe as he tried to undress and run at the same time.

Present day Anakin shook his head at the memory as the actor version of himself fiddled with his robes in the elevator, making sure everything was sitting just so.

Fake Obi-Wan watched with the same amusement real Obi-Wan had had twinkling in his eyes. You seem a little on edge.

Not at all, fake Anakin protested.

I haven't felt you this tense since... since we fell into that nest of gundarks.

You fell into that nightmare, Master, and I rescued you, remember? fake Anakin insisted, exactly the way he remembered doing so two years ago.

Oh, yes, fake Obi-Wan didn't look happy about admitting it. Real Obi-Wan looked just as put out. He'd sniffed and everything. But then both Obi-Wans chuckled, which made both Anakins laugh too. Real Anakin didn't remember being capable of laughing about anything at the time, though. He only remembered the sheer panic at the possibility that Padmè might not recognize him despite the number of holo calls they'd exchanged over the years. Which... no one was supposed to know about. It had been a few months, though, since their last one, and he'd grown some more, and finally lost the baby fat in his cheeks.

Fake Obi-Wan glanced at fake Anakin and did a bit of a double take. You're sweating. Relax! Take a deep breath.

I haven't seen her in ten years, Master. Which was as much of an explanation as the fake actors needed, apparently.

But Anakin remembered a couple more lines.

"She's not the Queen anymore, Anakin."

He looked at his Master, shorter than him now, even though he couldn't really remember exactly when that had happened. "That's not why I'm nervous."

Obi-Wan blinked a few times rapidly, grimaced, and then said, "Let go of your feelings, Anakin. They will do you no good in this world."

"It's not that easy," he replied.

Anakin snapped back to the present.

Ahsoka was giggling.

Fake Obi-Wan shook his head, smiling. Real Obi-Wan huffed. "If it was anyone but you, Anakin..." The, 'you would have been kicked out of the Order just for that scene alone' went unsaid, but it floated around through everyone's minds nonetheless.

Padmè was looking up at him, amused adoration in her eyes. "You were that nervous to see me?"

"Worse," Anakin admitted. "I was a walking wreck. I couldn't even fly the speeder! Obi-Wan had to take over!"

"Oh dear. That IS a tragedy," she said solemnly. And then ruined it by laughing with adorable little snorts and tucked her head into his shoulder to muffle them.

Anakin ignored the other sniggers floating around the room and watched the screen with studied dread and anticipation, praying the movie would take a turn towards the less accurate.

But he knew he'd never be that lucky.