The next Monday, an owl arrived in front of Dudley at breakfast. It contained a package and a letter. Dudley opened the letter first.

My friend, Dudley,

I hope you are well? Here is an autographed copy of Boarding With Basilisks. Preorders are through the roof and I have a book signed in Diagon Alley and an appearance on the Wizarding Wireless Network to promote. This looks like it's going to be my best-selling book ever. I notice you have been keeping your head down this term. Smart move, Dudley, oversaturation is a thing and you aren't quite ready yet to appear on the front pages daily! You already have a name for yourself—no need to rush things! I hope you enjoy the book. I've been asked by the Dark Force Defence League to advise on the current search for Sirius Black and Lucius Malfoy. Don't you and your friends worry, between myself, the Azkaban Guards and the Ministry's owl Aurors, we'll have those two back behind bars pretty sharpish.

Let me know if you have a Hogsmeade weekend coming up. We can continue our lessons, Rita Skeeter is interested in doing a small piece for the Prophet.

Your friend

Gilderoy Lockhart (Order of Merlin 2nd Class, Order of Merlin 3rd Class, Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defence League, Former Professor of Defence Against the Dark Arts at Hogwarts and Six-Time Winner of Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile)

Dudley leafed through the book. Although he didn't read much beyond that which he needed for this classes, he would most likely read this one—or at least skim it. It did feature himself, after all.

"Can I read it when you're done?" Hermione asked.

"I expect Lockhart will give you a copy if you ask him," Dean said. "But sure, you can read it."

That day, they had Divination and Care of Magical Creatures. Care of Magical Creatures was still Dudley's favorite class. Hagrid announced that he had still failed to get the promised Manticore, but that he had a treat for them today. The treat, it turns out, was an Augurey. It looked like an evil version of a phoenix—thin, mournful and covered in black feathers.

Some of those born in wizarding families—Ron included—drew back at the sight of it.

"Don' worry. It won' hurt yeh," he said patiently.

"But, doesn't its cry mean death?" Parvati said, with an annoying glance at Dudley.

"That's just superstition. The cry of the Augurey actually tells you when it's going to rain. Useful weather forecasters-though during winter they can be difficult to cope with."

Hagrid showed them how to prepare a diet for the Augurey and the difference between it and a phoenix. They hadn't studied a phoenix yet, but Hagrid had shown the class pictures of them.

Towards the end of the lesson, the Augurey let out a long, mournful wail which made Neville jump and Parvati squeal.

"Relax, it jus means 's 'bout ter rain," Hagrid said, with a glance towards the sky, which indeed was darkening. "I suppose we'll end there. Homework, 14 inches on the behavior o' the Augurey."

Later that evening, Dudley started reading Lockhart's new book. He was a slow reader, and it was nearing Christmas by the time he had finished.

The book was largely truthful. Lockhart had claimed that throughout the year he had been investigating the opening of the Chamber of Secrets himself. According to him, he had argued against the arrest of Hagrid, claiming he knew he wasn't involved and had long suspected another student of opening the Chamber. Lockhart had written how he had realized that a group of students, Dudley and his friends, had also been investigating the Chamber and they entered it together (Lockhart claimed to have known where the entrance is all along, but admitted he couldn't access it as he wasn't a parceltongue. In Boarding With Basilisk's, Lockhart had written extensively about the dual with the serpent. This was exaggerated and blown out of proportion. Though he had given Ron credit for firing spells at Riddle describing it as similar to an Auror. The fight with the serpent itself went for several pages containing accounts of how Lockhart had traded spells with it, faced it down bravely with his wand held eye, cast a reflection charm to protect his eyes and dodged its fangs before casting obliviate. He gave credit to Dudley for carrying Luna to safely (Bravely, he ran back for the girl—leaping over the snakes tree-trunk like tail and ducking under its fangs as the crazed serpent tried to bite his head off) but had glossed over Snape and Dumbledore finishing the snake off—just a brief mention that the headmaster and potions master went into the Chamber to make sure that Slytherin's serpent wouldn't bother the world again.