"What are you scared of?"

"Everything."

Lance sat up again, a feeling of uneasiness washing over him. He looked down at his hands,

clasping them together as he tried to put his words together. He knew he could be honest with Keith and tell him what he was feeling, especially considering he's been the most transparent with him for the last couple of weeks before now. But he knew that if he said too much at this moment, he might push him away. And for some reason, the thought of that made him feel small. A feeling he NEVER wanted to experience again.

"It's just…I shouldn't be feeling this way, y'know? I shouldn't be feeling this conflicted. I mean, come on! I've had feelings for Allura for the longest time, you know that. But for all that time, she always brushed that aside, never taking me seriously. Honestly, there were some points that I just thought I should just give up, wipe my hands clean, and focus on…other things." Lance tightened the grip on his hands.

"But then, she started to notice me a-and acknowledge my feelings. And she actually said yes! I asked her out and she actually said yes! This is the part where I should be happy, right? I should be smiling from ear to ear and screaming from rooftops. And then, I don't know what happened, man. The minute my mom opened that door and Allura walked in, I was just…petrified."

"Lance." Keith started. Lance raised his head and looked at his leader's eyes. They didn't hold any pity, thankfully, but they did hold concern and some other emotion he couldn't quite pinpoint. He smiled sadly.

"Completely, utterly petrified. It's like, I was so ready to sweep her off her feet and kiss her at the end like in the movies. But when it came down to it, I couldn't even deliver! I wanted to do it so badly, and I know that I keep on saying it but I did! But when I tried, it just felt…wrong."

Keith raised his eyebrows in shock.

"Wrong?"

"Yeah, like. You know how you're watching a baseball game and the player hits a home run and you somehow end up catching the ball? But then you see the little kid next to you looking at it like it's their whole world so you decide to give it to them instead because at the end of the day you're both happy? You caught it, but the kid gets to keep it. You're not gonna lose sleep over it as long as you know you made someone else's day and you feel good about it. THAT'S how I felt. I got Allura, she wanted to kiss me and I walked away because I WANTED TO. I know I did the right thing by not kissing her half-heartedly s-so why can't I- WHY CAN'T I JUST GO TO SLEEP?!" Lance wailed, clutching his hair as tears began to spill down his cheeks.

He heard Keith getting up from his stool and walking towards him, but at this point he didn't really care. He couldn't take these feelings of confusion anymore. He wanted nothing more but to take them and throw them to the nearest star system. But he couldn't, not while it meant that there was a chance he would lose something important to him. Suddenly, he heard the sound of footsteps stop.

"I know why you can't sleep."

He felt fingers grip his chin as felt his head get turned upwards. He saw those purple eyes again, looking at him with the same emotions from before, only this time the emotion he couldn't make out was making its presence more known in his gaze. Lance was blindsided and didn't have time to react before Keith leaned in closer to him and opened his mouth.

"Because you're thinking about me."

Lance's eyes sprung open as he gasped for air. He felt his hands clutching the blankets on top of him, making him throw them to the side as he quickly sat up. His eyes scanned the area, trying to find some familiarity. It took him a few seconds to realize that he was indeed in his Garrison bedroom, no threat in sight. He allowed himself to breathe a much-needed inhale and somewhat able to release a shaky exhale. He felt beads of sweat forming on his head as he continued to catch his breathe. What the hell was that about? He wiped some of the sweat off of his forehead, surprised to find the droplets even though he knew of their presence earlier.

After a few minutes, he was eventually able to calm down, but that didn't stop the red paladin from feeling the intense whiplash from his dream. How can a dream be real and not real at the same time? Everything at the start of the dream he knew was real. He remembered taking his aspirin. He remembered talking to Keith. He remembered admitting to Keith how afraid he was of everything with Allura and him freaking out, which pretty much made the aspirin he took earlier pointless considering he felt a slight ache in his head. But what played out towards the end of the dream was something that definitely didn't happen, because anyone would remember something as intense as that. No normal person could forget about someone walking up to them, turning their face to them and looking at them as if they had something to prove.

Because you're thinking about me.

Keith's words caused a searing heat all over Lance's body. He could feel it from his aching head to his shaking hands. He could remember the look in his eyes, looking at him as if he was the most important person in the world. He looked at him like he wanted him to be okay. Like he wanted him to be his. He remembered how before he woke up Keith was leaning into him. Almost like he was going to do what he couldn't. Guilt forced its way back onto Lance's shoulders, though it wasn't as heavy as before.

"I need to cool off." Lance spoke softly, getting up and heading to his bathroom for a much-needed, arctic shower.

"Well, look who the love dove dropped in." Pidge quipped with a smirk on her face.

"Ha ha, very funny." Lance replied sarcastically as he sat at the table. After showering and getting ready, he had debated on what to do for the remainder of the day considering they weren't under Honerva's threat at the moment. He thought about going to Shiro and asking for advice, but he was already as busy as is and he didn't want to add on to any stress he had. He couldn't go to Veronica because she would just tease him and he was NOT in the mood for it…at all. For a second, he thought about finding Keith, but once he felt the heat in his body again he pushed out of his head, refusing to take TWO cold showers on the same day. Amidst that thought, he remembered that he owed Hunk details about the date, so he decided to just do that. Hence where he was now, in the Garrison cafeteria, sitting next to Pidge, who was working on some calibrations on her laptop and across from Hunk, who was looking through some of his family recipes.

"Soooo, how did things go?" Hunk asked eagerly. Lance shrugged, trying not to make a big deal of things.

"It was good. Got no complaints." he replied, attempting to put up a smile. Unfortunately, that response wasn't good enough for the table.

"Just good?"

"Yeah."

"What did you do that made it 'just good?'" Pidge teased, making Hunk snicker in response. Lance looked between the both of them, wondering why this wasn't the end of it.

"Nothing. It was good. We went to my family's house, had a delicious dinner, went to a nearby park and talked for a bit, and we came back and I dropped her off at her room. That's all." the red paladin recounted, trying his best to hide his frustration. Hunk and Pidge let out a unanimous "hmm," indicating they were satisfied with the answer. Lance breathed out through his nose in relief, the frustration from earlier fading. He saw a recipe card for coconut cake laying out in front of him, and pulled it towards him. He couldn't help but to notice the small yellow drawings splayed around the card. The contents were surrounded by yellow coconuts, smiling suns and yellow swirls. He was so entranced by them that he took him a minute to notice Hunk and Pidge staring at him.

"What?" Hunk and Pidge looked at each other, smirks growing on their faces before they turned back to them.

"Well?" Pidge said, laying her arm on Lance's shoulder. The boy in question tried to hide his annoyance as he furrowed his freshly trimmed brows. Please don't ask what I think you're gonna ask.

"Well what?" Lance responded with gritted teeth.

"Did you kiss her?"

Fuck…

"Does it really matter, guys?" Lance responded, slowly getting more and more agitated. Hunk crossed his arms in fake stern yet firm intrigue.

"Uh, yeah. It's your first date with Allura and we want to know EVERYTHING. So did you guys kiss or not?" Lance sighed hard, running his hand through his hair in frustration.

"No."

"WHAT?! Why not?!" Hunk wailed. The red paladin pinched the bridge of his nose as he explained.

"Because, Hunk, it was only our first date. Yes, I've been in love with Allura for what seems like forever but I don't want to do something that scares her off, y'know? Besides, does anyone even kiss on the first date anymore?" Lance shook his head, trying to get back on topic. "The point is, I'm just going with the flow. I just…wasn't ready." Lance lied, though it wasn't a total lie. He wasn't ready to kiss Allura, but there was no way in hell he was going to tell them that it was because of their freaking leader. He felt Pidge remove her arm from her shoulder as she crossed her arms, tilting her head in thought. Hunk did the same.

"Yeah, that makes sense. I get you, dude. But good job, though." Hunk responded reassuringly, sending Lance his big signature smile.

"Thanks, man. I appreciate it." Lance exhaled, smiling back. He was glad that Hunk was backing up a bit. He was always the type of guy who never wanted to cross boundaries, something that Lance was immensely grateful for at the moment.

"Yeah, I get it, too. I just naturally assumed that you would go for it because of Lotor." Pidge stated flatly. Once again, annoyance and frustration rushed through Lance's body.

"Pidge. C'mon-" the paladin started. The green paladin raised her hands in surrender.

"I'm just saying. She and Lotor were getting pretty close to each other back in the Castle of Lions. They were literally side by side 24/7." she pointed out. Hunk nodded his head in agreement.

"Yeah. Who knows, maybe if he wasn't, you know, some crazy prince stealing the quintessence of other Altean, he probably would've been her boyfriend by now." Hunk said jokingly, making Pidge giggle in response while Lance was getting more and more agitated. It's bad enough he had to pretty much lie to his friends about why he decided not to kiss Allura, it's a whole other thing that now he needed to deal with hearing about Allura being with Lotor. And just when he had felt that every insecurity that he felt when Lotor was around pretty much vanished when Allura started noticing him. Lance clasped his hands together tightly.

"Okay. I think I see your point, guys." Lance spoke lowly, his teeth gritted. But his statement was simply ignored as Hunk and Pidge continued.

"Did you see the way that Allura was looking at him? I'm telling you, man, I saw some sparks flying!"

"How could she not? With his long flowy hair and his princely charms?"

"Just imagine them working on stuff together and then out of nowhere they just start dancing around the room like in the movies?" Pidge cackled.

3…

"And then he just starts twirling her and then holds her above his head like in that one cheesy dance movie?"

2…

"And then Lotor looks deep into her eyes and says 'Allura, my sweet princess, will you become my Altean dancing queen?"

"'Oh Lotor, my gorgeous bad boy prince! I became your queen the moment I laid my eyes on you!' and then they both lean in and-"

1…

Lance stood up quickly from his seat, slamming his hands hard against the table, making Pidge and Hunk turn their heads at him in shock. He was visibly shaking, head down as his eyes were trained onto the table. He just couldn't take it anymore. Every bad thought and insecurity he had been able to somewhat move past since readjusting to Earth, and it just came back in full force as if he had gotten sucker punched. He felt like he was back on the Castle of Lions, being ignored and brushed aside be everyone, his warnings and himself being forgotten.

Allura walking past him.

Pidge and Hunk ignoring him.

Shiro looking down on him.

Keith abandoning him.

Lance felt himself starting to walk away from his friends. He wouldn't allow himself to hear this any longer. He knew they didn't mean to tease him or bring Lotor back up to him, but that's what it felt like. Lotor and Allura had always been somewhat of a sore spot for him. Something he tried to push to the back of his head to focus on everything else. But it's like every time he tries to forget, it always comes back to bite him. And how could it not. Lotor was everything that he wasn't. Of course, Allura would want him. Hell, if he hadn't gone crazy and was still around, he wouldn't have hesitated to kiss her the way that he did.

"Lance? What's gotten into you?" he heard Pidge shout behind him.

"Yeah, man? You good? D-did we say something wrong?" Hunk asked worriedly. Lance stopped as he approached the doorway. He turned his head towards them, giving them a tired smile.

"No. You said everything right."