Dogs of War
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"Imma channel Mr. Popo(1)."
/"Do NOT channel Mister Popo."/
"R. Lee Ermey?"
Monika linked her fingers together under her chin and said with a heavy sigh /"Player… just be yourself."/
"But I don't how Char trained his troops to be so motivated for him."
Monika unlinked her palms and began to make chopping knife hand gestures. /"… You. Dense. Protagonist!"/
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In a clearing outside of Reflet, the twenty men assigned by the Duke Ortlinde stood at attention. I stood on a literal soapbox – that is, a crate that was used to transport soap, with my hands behind my back. "Men of Ortlinde! You have been hiding from me!" I shouted, "What is even up with the Duke of Ortlinde's head, this is not the way to assign groups of men to command!"
Some of them bristled at the insult to their liege lord, others huffed in agreement.
"But that ends today!" I continued. "Although they were retainers to House Zenovi, they were adventurers nonetheless. It is inexcusable that they were able to rip through you with such ease. It is clear that something is lacking… some way of dealing with unconventional situations, unconventional opponents!"
"So let us get this started. Know that I am Zah Playa Von Chara. I am an Adventurer. I will not teach you to beat adventurers or to better fight the things that adventurers fight. The Duke Ortlinde has given you over to me to do everything that I might wish to accomplish. To mold into whatever fighting force I know you can be.
"If I want you to fight, then you will fight. If I want to you disguise yourselves and gather intelligence, then you will learn to do swiftly and effectively. If need you to act as salesmen, then you will sell things! If we need to do objective raids, you will steal everything that isn't nailed down and everything that can be pried loose isn't nailed down!
"The Duke has given me soldiers. Men who know how to fight. I will make you Free Dragoons, men who can fit in anywhere and fight anything.
"And acting as bodyguards, well certainly there is room for improvement!" I spoke up harshly, reminding them of what happened yesterday. And what happened a month ago that led them to this place here. "You recall what it took to survive protecting Sue from those who would have kidnapped her, took liberties with her young body, while forcing her father and his brother the King to disassemble their own kingdom!"
Maldon grimaced at the reminder. The men around him looked ashamed. They had not been very enthusiastic about this posting, but this was rubbing in their own faces their own lack of luster.
"Men of Ortlinde! You have failed! You have been ignorant. You have been weak. You have been only passable as men at arms, left unprepared by the loving warmth of these peaceful days. No more. No more.
"I WILL MAKE YOU UNTO DOGS OF WAR."
I gestured to the side and Yumina approached. Already she was garbed in a cute purple and white ensemble similar to what Elze and Linze were wearing. Zanac worked fast. "This is my adjutant, Yumina," I introduced her to the men. She curtsied, holding on to her nice sensible skorts. "Whatever resemblance she has to the Crown Princess Yumina is only coincidental, understand? Purely accidental."
A murmur passed through the men. Things were starting to make a little more sense.
"Elze and Linze Silhoueska, though they are young they are well-accomplished as adventurers. They could probably beat all of you right now with as much ease as those adventurers yesterday. But there will be greater power in moving in combination, which you will learn under their command."
"Yae Kokonoe. She is the daughter of Jubei Kokonoe, former sword teacher for the Sordrick family. Unlike Belfast which has been in relative peace internally, apart from the Regulus invasion, Eashen has been engaged in low-level fighting and raiding for most of the past hundred years. At the time Regulus was invading Belfast, Eashen was experiencing unification of the country under a great warlord.
"Her familiarity with small-unit tactics and formations will be of great value. Furthermore, she can instruct you on how to break past human limits with your own spirit, not magic."
There was a sound like breaking glass, and Monika appeared floating in the air beside me. Their eyes widened. "And this is the Lady Monika. She will be your eyes and your ears. She will be your life and your death. Only when properly directed can any group of men become a blade, condensing the complex into the simple, cutting through all opposition!
"I do not want to hear any grumbling about anyone's age or seeming lack of military experience. Go home to the Ortlinde lands if you can't adapt to strange orders!"
There was only silence. They understood that obedience to orders was the first and only virtue. I grimaced a bit. There was no such thing as the Nuremberg Principles here, soldiers were always expected to obey even the most unethical of orders.
"All right. Now, Maldon."
He stepped up out of formation. "My lord!"
"The ranks go thus: Myself and Lady Monika as overall Commanders, then Yumina as the adjutant that relays our orders. Then Yae. Then Elze. Then Linze. Then you.
"Divide the men into four groups of five men. All of you are light cavalry, but you will be expected to be mounted infanty for now.
"The first group will be the Archer Squad, under command of Yumina here.
"The second group will be the Mage Squad, there to protect Linze and serve as our reserve line.
"The next two groups should be a mix of sword and shield and spearmen. They will be the First and Second Assault Squads, to be commanded by Elze and Yae in breakthrough attacks.
"Four men with one group leader. Assign the men according to their abilities and temperament. You will take command of First Assault Squad." Since Elze would likely be too busy punching out breakthroughs to remember being in command, someone has to be able to exploit the gaps she would be making.
He slammed his fist onto his chestplate and bowed. "It will be done, my lord!"
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"And now that we are all organized… it is time to know the limits of our capacity. Each squad… will have to fight their own adventurer leader. Elze, Linze, Yae, … Yumina, I want to see how you defend yourself against group attack."
"Eeeh? Even me, Sir Zah?"
Archer Squad looked very unwilling to attack their Princess.
"[Earth], [Wind], [Dark], what lessons have Charlotte been teaching you? Linze over there has even faced Charlotte in battle. If you're an Archer, how do you deal with counterfire? If you're in this adventuring party, then I do expect you do be able to meaningfully contribute, you know?"
"… you're right. I should be able to do something than just sit there and look pretty." She looked quite happy.
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"[BOOST] PAAWWWWNCH!" Elze yelled.
Wham.
Men scattered all around.
Wham. Wham. Wham.
Yeah, she had no problem with them. This was actually somewhat cruel.
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"[Dancing Flames!]"
Boom. Boom. Boom.
All right, Linze has no problem with that either. Duchess Ellen was different from Charlotte. Whereas the Court Magician had a more strategic role on the battlefield, the Duchess had refined her Fire magic to specifically deal with human enemies. Charlotte was made to wreak havoc on the battlefield and create strategic spell forms, Duchess Ellen was made for close-in slaughter in the defense of her home and family.
I spoke aside to Maldon "What do you think? Should we give Mage Squad larger tower shields, or heavy armor and two-handed swords?"
"The second, I believe," he replied, breathing heavily. Elze's total rout of First Assault Squad left them bruised and with dented armor. The first we could heal up, the second would need some time to hammer out the dents. "The threat is a stronger reason to not to try to attack the back line in the first place."
"Monika, why didn't you ask for more magic-users so we could make Mage Squad an actual Mage Squad?"
/"I have seen the future and too many of them would develop staggering inferiority complexes. This is bad for unit cohesion. Actual Mage Squad composed of you, Linze and Yumina, and maybe later Sue, would be enough to deal with almost anything that exists."/
Fair enough.
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Slice. Slice. Slice.
Spear shafts were cut. Straps securing arm and leg armor were cut. Yae could have sliced deep into their vulnerable less armored areas with ease.
The guards fell back, nodding with acknowledgment. They recognized and respected an accomplished swordswoman. Yae was used to commanding troops and had an instinctive read for the flow of battle. Second Assault Squad would not have any problem with fulfilling orders.
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And then there was Archer Squad.
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There's basically two ways of doing this. The first, out in the open with exchanging regular volleys. Which would be stupid, since they were not horse archers. And that was why Yumina immediately dashed to the tree cover to make it an ambush battle.
"This might be a mistake," said Maldon. "Archery around trees is much like hunting, but they're wearing armor while she's not."
"That means she can move faster."
Monika displayed for us the tactical map showing the red dots chasing a white dot. /"But you can tell Yumina isn't used to moving through the undergrowth either."/
The five chasing Ortlinde guards spread out into pair with one remaining in the middle to surround and cut off her routes of escape. One of them rushed forward excitedly, having seen a glimpse of purple and white.
"[Earth Wall!]
He slammed into a rock slab that appeared out of nowhere and knocked himself out.
/"Clever. Just because this is Archer Squad, they forgot she was a magic caster too."/ Now suddenly the remaining guards slowed down and were much more careful in their chase.
We heard one of them shout "There!" A flash of purple to the left. They turned towards it.
An arrow came from the right. Ding.
"HOW?!"
Their arrows were blunt, but that shot bounced off the neck so that counted as lethal. Monika announced that said soldier was considered dead and should retreat. Now it was three versus one.
They began shooting at any movement. "That… is a mistake," I had to say. "Arrows are a finite quantity. She's a [Wind] mage."
"But magic power is also a thing that can be exhausted," said Maldon.
We could see where Yumina was hiding. The men were getting too close. Her movements began to slow. Yumina was obviously starting to get tired or at least nervous about her plan. I wondered if she was getting grim tidings of the future if ever her family was conspired against again. If Belfast falls…
It was technically okay to fail here, but she could never allow herself to just surrender.
… A lot of bad things could happen to a captured Crown Princess.
"If she wants to cast magic on us, she has to see us," one of the men said. "Spread out a little more, but not too far. The moment someone gets hit, call it out."
I nodded. "This is exactly why snipers are sent out in pairs, with a spotter."
Black mist suddenly wrapped around a man's head, and he fell limp and unconscious instantly.
"There!" The chase was back on.
/"Yumina really needs a large area-of-effect spell, like Linze's bombardment options."/
"You know, it just occurred to me that with [Fire], [Water], [Light] and [Earth], [Wind], [Dark], isn't Yumina kinda the direct opposite of Linze?"
/"Even on a social level. Interesting. Instead of giving her Archer Squad, why not just have them operate back to back? Onemage is vulnerable, but doublemage is force multiplied."/
"On our solo missions, sure."
The white dot showing Yumina stopped. From the sound, she was out of breath. The men found her kneeling on the ground, apparently exhausted with her back turned to them.
"Surrender, Princess. This doesn't need to be difficult."
I winced. That was exactly the wrong thing to say. We could hear Monika's soft little giggle.
"No. No it does not. [Pit Fall]."
But instead of the two guards falling down into a sinkhole, Yumina cast it under herself. They only had a moment to wonder why she was trapping herself.
Because as they stepped forward, she raised a hand out of the hole and finished chanting "Come [Wind], [Storm], Cut Off – Countless Wind Blades, [Tempest Edge!]"
Everything above ground level was just shredded. Fortunately she knew enough to lower magic power consumption so it would not be a deadly attack. Ding. Ding. Ding. Ding.
I chewed on my thumb. "Ugh. Turtling up is such an Earthbending thing to do, but that thing with the wind blades… Earthbending and Airbending are such complete philosophical opposites I don't know how to teach her at all." At least with Linze, fire and water might seem to be opposites but at least they both used fluid mechanics.(1)
/"Unlike you who zips around just flipping over things, looks like little Yumina relies much more on proper timing. You must admit that sometimes air held down under pressure has its uses as compared to just pure free wind. There's potential here."/
Yumina exited the treeline gasping for breath. It was only when she was greeted by clapping from Elze and Linze, and a thumbs-up from me, that she beamed happily. It was a victory she could accept, bought entirely with only her own power.
Not her father's influence. Not her delicate beauty. Not even her youth.
She just looked so happy. Headpats?
Yes. This pleases us.
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"All right. So the purpose of this was not to humiliate you, but to show how even among adventurers we are… unconventional. You are in unconventional company, you will be fighting unconventional battles, and there is so much of what you take for granted that you will need to unlearn.
"We will have to do training on the move while we're heading to Mismede for our mission."
"WAIT, HOLD UP!"
Of course that was Elze. What did she want now?
"Hey!" Elze shouted with a fierce grin. "There's still someone here that hasn't shown his chops!"
I blinked. "Wait. Do you mean…?" I pointed at my own nose.
"Isn't anyone curious as to what would happen if all of us attacked you all at once?"
"… You would lose because there's so many of you that you'd get in each other's way and then I'd fly up and bomb you all to oblivion what did you think would happen?" I sniffed haughtily.
I didn't need to prove anything. There would always be arguments over which is the better fighter like between all those Flankers and Eagles and Ducks and Jays, but a nuclear bomber only needs to survive long enough to get overhead.
"Yae, to me! Linze, Yumina, fire at will! SMASHING TIME IS NOW."
/"Ooh. Nice commandy tone from Elze. I LIKE IT. Player, I'll be on the girls' team for this one."/
Aw shite.
/"Try not to bore me, my love."/
I leapt back, the jet boost from my boots allowing me to leap halfway across the clearing. I slammed my fists together and then pulled them apart slowly. A violently writhing arch of lightning stretched out between them like the pair of electrodes of mad scientist's Jacob's Ladder.
A loud buzzing noise rang across the clearing.
"All right," I said with a grin. "You want a piece of this? I'll give you a lot of this!" I thrust my pelvis forward as I pulled my arms out wide. Hah! Haaah! The single arc of lightning twisted into two, and then down to the ground. They carved rich dark furrows onto the grass, slowly tracing an expanding spiral.
/"Do you fancy yourself Thor, God of Thunder?!"/
"Nay, I am RAIDEN! And this is MOOOORTAL KOOOMBAT!(2)"
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"Okay, if anyone asks there was a freak thunderstorm. And a tornado. And, uh, a blizzard. And a forest fire."
"… also there was this crazed monster bear…" Linze added.
"Hey!" Elze objected to that.
The guards were just sitting down by the edge of the clearing. They looked a little glassy-eyed. Everything above them was on fire.
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And then days passed. It was time.
Zorah and her retinue met us on a prepared clearing a little ways around town across the river. Zanac looked deeply uncomfortable sitting on a table nearby as a witness. Zorah sat beside him, fanning herself with a steel fan. All four of her adventurer guards stood behind her in a line.
She looked completely villainous, Zanac looked just uncomfortable.
Her doll-like face still hid any and all distinguishing features. I wondered if it meant she had a battle injury or she was just that vain about not looking old. What madness drives her so far that she'd be willing to go against the favor of Ducal House Ortlinde?
/"Player…"/ Monika whispered. /"Remember. If you ever find someone sufficiently annoying… I will always accept you no matter what you do."/
Ooooh. Monika this is not a good time to remind me that we can untraceably murder people, you know? I knew Monika would not feel guilty at all for killing anyone outside of her monkeysphere. She who had everything taken away from her, who in her own yandere madness desecrated and murdered her friends, would stop at nothing to protect her new precious people.
I have been dealing with petty assholes all my life. Teachers, managers, customers. I was even one of those people, oh lord was I such a spoiled brat. People who act on whims are free, those who hold grudges have their souls weighed down by gravity.
Zorah made Micah cry, and just for that I felt like knowing if she was doing all this because she was really that so obsessed with (heh) face or just much much more fragile than she pretends. To know if I could hold her psyche in my hands and feel how easy it would be to just... shatter it.
I could go full xianxia escalation over this, but I would regret it later if it turned out I was bullying someone who was literally mentally ill.
I remembered that I had the support of the Royal Family, having Yumina with me was a show of extreme trust. But even Royal favor can only go so far. The kingdom is a heavy and ponderous thing, there are things that must be done with secrecy, there are things that must be done that cannot impact the dignity of the Crown.
Duty was heavier than a mountain. There were very few noble houses that embraced nascent nationalism enough to see duty as a privilege instead. Yumina's advice was right. The House of Zenovivi could be quite useful. As long as one was able to deal with their… eccentricities.
"Is this really necessary?" Zanac whimpered.
"Yes. He and I cannot live as equals under the same sky," said Zorah. "I commend your bravery, as foolish at it may be!" she said while pointing to me. "Name your terms and let this duel commence!"
Mine was the evilest of grins.
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AN:
(1) youtube watch?v=53EZ2fErFHY
Yes, DBZ Abridged's Mister Popo.
(2) wikipedia /wiki/Fluid_mechanics
(3) youtube /watch?v=EAwWPadFsOA