Hey everyone! I now present to you the first chapter of 2021!

I honestly didn't mean to post this chapter this late into the month, but I was still trying to plan out the chapter. And as for this week, it has been SO hard to write because there's construction going on in the apartment above me and not only are they making a bunch of noise but also causing cracks in my apartment, so I would end up so angry that I had to keep putting off finishing the chapter day after day due to emotional and mental exhaustion. But I did want to finish and upload the chapter before this upcoming Sunday. (it's my birthday and my mom wants me to relax)

But those complications aside, I don't think I'm gonna try writing chapters while construction is going on and I wouldn't be surprised if I gave myself a break to spare myself from any oncoming headaches XD.

Also, I made a Twitter account (makorragal312) so that I can interact with you guys and post about my progress on upcoming chapters and to just talk ship stuff or answer any questions or comments you guys have on my story, so please stop by! I'd stick to interactions here, but after the whole stats situation, better safe than sorry.

Now that that's out of the way, enjoy the chapter! XOX

"I know this might be the wrong time, Lance. But I think we need to talk."

"Yeah, we do."

Lance took a deep breath as he did his best to maintain eye contact with Allura. Every single fiber in his being wanted to look away from her gaze, hoping to avoid her almost hypnotic blue pupils so that he wouldn't be susceptible to this guilt-ridden trance. But he knew that that was impossible. Where's the fairness in keeping all of his thoughts and emotions away from her while she remained none the wiser? He knew that this day was bound to happen eventually, but he just wished he had been the one to make the first move. Lance couldn't help but to feel almost bombarded with this turn of events. The only thing he could do now was let out a heavy sigh.

"Where do you wanna start?" Lance asked somewhat tiredly, hoping that the whole floor would swallow him whole. Allura could only give the recovering paladin a pitiful expression before she began to speak, her gaze slowly turning firm.

"I feel that the beginning would be best." Allura spoke firmly. Lance nodded in acknowledgement. He extended his hand toward the princess, prompting her to continue.

"Lance, I'm starting to get worried and a little bit frustrated. Ever since we came back to Earth, I felt as though things started to change between us. It felt as though we had gotten closer, especially since you were there for me at my most vulnerable. When you first asked me to go on a date with you, I'll admit that I was somewhat...reluctant. But once I went and witnessed the way you acted with your family around you, it felt as though I truly belonged somewhere." Lance's eyebrows furrowed at the statement, but the princess didn't take notice.

"But then after dinner, things just...shifted. You started to become jumpy and almost panicked. And it seems to have reached a point where you've started to ignore me." Lance shifted his gaze downward as he shifted awkwardly.

Damn, she's perceptive.

The princess couldn't help but to curl her hands into fists.

"Are you?" she asked anxiously. The red paladin rubbed his hands together nervously as he stayed beneath her gaze.

"Y-you're not wrong." he replied quietly, his frame shrinking in on itself as if he were being encased in a small, tight box. Shame overtook him as he heard Allura let out a heavy sigh, something he didn't want to hear. The last thing he wanted was to make the Altean feel as though she was someone to be avoided. He lifted his gaze once more as the princess slowly crossed her arms, almost as if she was trying to shield herself from the revelation's blowback.

"Why?" Allura whispered desperately. Lance released a quiet sigh as he stood from the window ledge.

"Look, Princess. I never wanted to avoid you, believe me. That was my last intention." Lance started. He proceeded to rub his arm awkwardly as he shifted from foot to foot. "It's just that...so many things have been going on with me and I've just been trying to maintain a grip on it, y'know? I've just been trying to make sense of it all." Allura's brows furrowed in confusion at the statement.

"What is there to make sense of?" the princess inquired. Lance felt his breath hitch in his throat. Honestly, he couldn't understand why he was hoping she would leave things at that and the only conclusion he could come up with was that he was being way too damn optimistic for his own good. He already knew deep down that wasn't going to be enough for her, so why the hell was he so surprised that he wasn't? The young Cuban was so lost in his thoughts he didn't register the feeling of Allura's hands on his shoulders.

"Lance. Please just talk to me." Allura quietly pleaded, her somber eyes piercing their way into Lance's memory. It didn't take long for the red paladin to feel a newfound chill creep its way through his body from where her hands laid. He might as well have been encased in a block of ice from how quickly the freezing sensation overtook his entire core. A stark contrast from the overwhelming heat he had been feeling for the last few weeks. It took everything in him not to recoil from her touch.

"I-It's not that easy, Princess." Lance answered somberly, grabbing Allura's hands and removing them from his shoulders. He closed his eyes tightly as he finally turned away from the princess, back facing her.

"There are so many things that I need to figure out. And I need to do it alone."

"Like quiznak you don't!" Allura shouted, agitated. Lance felt himself flinch at the princess' shout. Honestly, he had expected this. "Lance, whatever you're going through you don't have to do it on your own! We can talk about this!"

"No, we can't!" Lance exclaimed.

Allura was taken aback, stumbling back a couple of steps. She hadn't meant to upset him again like she did the last time she came to see him, but she wasn't going to allow him to push her away. She quickly regained her composure and stood up straight, waiting for Lance's next words.

"Allura, I know that you think this is something that you can fix but you can't. No one can. Not you, not Shiro, not Keith. The only one who needs to work things out is me. Which means I gotta do it alone." Lance let out a chuckle deprived from humor and life. "Besides, this isn't the first time I've been alone."

The confession took the princess by surprise.

"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked in alarm. The red paladin let out another humorless chuckle before turning back around to face the princess.

"Exactly what I meant. While you and everyone else was doing their thing, I was always relegated to the side. I mean, come on! Pidge and Hunk did the tech stuff. Shi-He did the leader stuff. Keith was doing his Blade stuff. I couldn't do what they did, so all I could do was stay in my room and play video games all day. Hell, you and Coran even popped up in my room that one time! What was I going to do? Walk right up to you to tell you how lonely I was?" Lance asked, clearly agitated from having to recount his time back in the Castle of Lions.

Allura's eyes widened in disbelief. She felt her blood run cold as she took in Lance's words.

She did remember.

She did remember visiting Lance's room with Coran, wishing to experience what it was like to have a milkshake from Kaltenecker. She remembered him urgently pressing the buttons on his controller as he tried to focus on his task on the screen. She had honestly thought that he stayed in his room on purpose, not wanting to be bothered with anyone to just play away to his heart's content. She never expected the reason to be as heart-aching as this, and she was none the wiser. Allura's gaze flickered to the floor before looking back up at the red paladin. She took slow steps towards him as she reached out and grabbed his hand.

"You can now."Allura finally replied, gently squeezing his hand.

"Lance, I'm so sorry that you were alone. But you don't have to be. Pidge and Hunk are still here. Keith and Shiro are back. It's as if everything is falling back in place. And, you should know that you can come to me." she finished, a hopeful smile slowly creeping onto her face. Lance felt his chest clench at her last statement. And not in a good way. He slowly shook his head.

"No, Allura. I don't know that." Lance said firmly, a hint of sadness laced in his voice. Allura's eyes widened in shock as she was once again taken aback, releasing her hold on his hand. Was she truly that unreliable or unapproachable to him now?

"W-why don't you know?" Allura stammered. Lance groaned as he ran his hand through his hair. The longer this conversation continued, the more annoyed and agitated he felt himself become. He just wanted this to be over and go back to his dorm and pretend this never happened. But that dream is becoming less and less of a reality.

"It's just...sometimes I feel like I can't talk to you. And mainly because you're you. You're the princess of Altea who's focused on defeating the Galra and I'm just a boy from Cuba who ended up flying a mechanical lion in an intergalactic space war. And to top things off, we've been butting heads. You literally got mad at me for not agreeing with you about leaving the armor!" Lance exclaimed, annoyance finding its way to the surface. The Altean's confused gaze hardened into a defensive one as she felt herself grow irritated.

"Must we talk about this again?" Allura asked in exasperation.

"Yes, because it proves my point. You didn't like that I was the tiebreaker for us leaving the armor and you just walked away from me without saying goodbye! Almost as if I'm not allowed to have a differing opinion from you. And to add the cherry on top, you got mad at Keith and blamed him for me almost dying! It was like the Galra reveal all over again!"

Allura's voice caught in her throat. Not only did Lance bring back up their fight, but now he was bringing up how she was after Keith revealed his heritage, a mistake she has been trying her hardest to avoid and regrets deeply.

"T-that's different!" Allura replied, her voice raised.

"Barely! You're mad at Keith for something that was completely out of his control and instead of just talking to him, you go out of your way to treat him like the bad guy! And I know you remember what I said to you about that, right?"

Allura gritted her teeth at the memory.

"You went too far, Princess."

Allura turned her head quickly to find Lance, standing in front of her. He had his arms crossed somewhat tightly as he looked at her with an expression that consisted of exhaustion and...disappointment.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"You know exactly what I mean. I saw everything." Lance answered, annoyed at the question.

He had been walking down the hallway heading back to his room when he saw Keith leaning against the wall, looking at his knife. But before he had a chance to go and talk to him, Allura had come out of nowhere, snatching his knife from his hand and accusing him of plotting against the team. The Cuban boy could only stand dumbfounded as the woman he had feelings before tore down his teammate in front of his eyes, not holding anything back as she tore him limb from limb with the fangs that spewed from her insults. Keith, on the other hand, could barely get a word in as he tried to talk her down. Things only got worse as Keith was finally able to retrieve his blade from her grasp, only for Allura to push him away from her afterwards, saying that she didn't want to be 'touched by a filthy Galra like him.' Lance's eyes widened in horror as he saw Keith's entire frame deflate and heard his exhausted sigh as the red paladin walked away from the princess, presumably back to his room.

Allura crossed her arms at the revelation and averted her eyes from Lance's gaze. He wished that he hadn't seen what had transpired, but she was hoping he could see her side of things.

"Lance, you don't underst-" the princess started before she was interrupted.

"I understand perfectly. I just saw you attack Keith for no reason!" Lance shouted angrily. "I'm sorry, Princess, but this has gone on long enough!"

"I didn't attack anyone! He put his hands on me!"

"Because you took his sword! He wasn't trying to hurt you, he was getting something back that you took from him! The only person who did any attacking in this situation was you!"

"Me? I-I was just protecting myself!" Lance could only scoff before walking closer to the Altean.

"Do you hear yourself? Protection from Keith? Are you serious? You know that Keith would never put his hands on you, especially unprovoked!"

"You can never tell with the Galra." the princess spat out, venom laced in her voice. Lance could only shake his head. How could she not understand just how far she was taking things with Keith? He totally understood her distrust of the Galra considering everything she went through. But going out of her way to berate and alienate his teammate for something completely out of his control? That was something the blue paladin couldn't sit on the sidelines for, not anymore.

"So that's just it? One trace of DNA and you just forget everything that Keith's done for you?" Lance questioned, frustrated at the princess' behavior. "That's all it takes for someone to become a monster to you?"

"Am I not allowed to feel what I feel towards them, Lance?" Allura asked harshly, sending Lance a pointed look as she huffed and crossed her arms. Her gaze startled the blue paladin for a quick second, but didn't deter him from trying to get his point across.

"Yes! Towards Zarkon! Towards Haggar! Towards everyone who follows their beck and call! But not for those who oppose them! Whatever feelings you have towards them shouldn't be aimed at Keith!"

"And why not? He didn't find a problem with keeping the truth from us." Lance tilted his head in confusion at the statement.

"What are you talking about?"

"If Keith cared about my feelings or the team, he would've disclosed this information to us! Instead he just left all of us in the dark to blindside us!" Allura argued. The blue paladin could only look at the Altean incredulously as he tried to let her accusation sink in. So far, he wasn't doing a very good job as every fiber in his being wanted to scream into the cosmos at just how bad this situation was. He already hated arguing with the woman of his dreams, but the fact she was being so unfair and prejudicial made things harder. And it certainly didn't help matters that she actually thought that Keith knew about his Galra bloodline beforehand and clearly didn't get the memo.

"What?" Allura asked angrily.

"Allura. Keith didn't know he was Galra either." Lance answered quietly, tired of raising his voice in what felt to him a losing battle. The princess's expression, while still holding her anger, was now displaying complete confusion. Lance held his hand out as he continued to explain.

"Shiro told me everything. Keith didn't know he was Galra until after the trials he did at the Blade's base, which was the same day they came and pledged to join the Coalition. So if anything, he was just as blindsided as you were." the blue paladin confessed. Allura widened her eyes. She had honestly thought that Keith knew of his bloodline the entire time and that he had no choice but to tell the truth. A small part of her started to feel guilt, but she pushed it down, refusing to acknowledge her erratic conspiracies and behavior.

"Okay, maybe he didn't know who he truly was at the time. That still doesn't excuse the fact that I have to deal with this new information and the Blade of Marmora while it seems Keith has already accepted it" Allura stated weakly, before finally retrieving her strict persona from earlier. Lance settled into the silence that permeated the air for a few seconds before speaking up.

"You don't think Keith's been torn up about this?" the blue paladin asked sadly, thinking about how Keith acted earlier when Allura snapped at him. The way he didn't attempt to fight back against her words saddened Lance immensely. Yes, he still somewhat considered the red paladin his rival, but that didn't mean he liked seeing him sad all the time from the moment he dropped the truth bomb on everyone. Allura furrowed her brows slightly before he continued.

"Princess, do you have any idea how Keith must have felt? Don't you think a part of him was scared, almost horrified at the fact that he was Galra? Don't you think it was killing him to know that once the truth came out you were going to react the way you are now?" Allura could only stay silent as more pangs of guilt continued to strike her nerves the more Lance scolded her, causing her to look down at the floor.

"I know that Keith is the type of guy to keep things to himself, but regardless of what you think or feel about him, he's still human. And even if he's making an active effort not to show it, he's probably afraid and sad. And because of the way you've been treating him, he probably feels more alone than ever." Lance lamented. The princess exhaled through her nose as she closed her eyes, as if trying to block out the incoming onslaught of guilt and shame from Lance's words. She believed she had every right to act the way she was. She doesn't trust the Galra after what they did to her home and her family and now one of her own paladins is part of that race. She's allowed to have her suspicions about him. But Lance was making it fairly difficult to believe that.

"And do you know what's the worst part?" Lance's question pierced through the Altean's thoughts as she looked at the blue paladin, prompting him to go on.

"Despite all of your cruel words and actions, he doesn't stop you. He lets you say what you want to say and he takes it all, no matter how much it might hurt him because that's who Keith is. He respects and cares about you enough to let you berate him and bully him even if he doesn't deserve it because he knows the reason why." Lance finally finished, slowly letting the tension ease from his shoulders as he finally relinquished everything he wanted to say. He stood anxiously as he waited for the princess to respond. She merely shrugged at him.

"I don't know what you want me to say, Lance." Allura replied, her voice monotone. Lance gave a shrug of his own.

"I don't expect you to say anything, Princess. But I do want you to think about how you've been treating Keith because whether you like it or not he's the paladin of one of your lions and you need him. And if I'm being completely honest, something tells me that Keith never told us, you would be treating him normally like before. I'm not telling you to disregard your feelings because at the end of the day, they are valid. But I want you to look and see if you're willing to separate that hatred away from any Galra that would be willing to fight alongside us in the future, and that includes Keith." Lance spoke softly. Allura was about to interject into Lance's plead, but he beat her to the punch.

"And please, Princess, don't say that you won't be able to do that because of Keith being Galra because Coran went through the exact same thing you did and he still treats Keith the same way he did before the truth came out." Allura stood in shock, mouth agape. She couldn't help but to feel blindsided at the mention of Coran. She had been so focused on herself and everything else that she had assumed that Coran had felt the same way she did. But clearly she was wrong. She was so lost in thought that she almost didn't register Lance walking by her in the opposite direction, hands shoved in his pockets.

"Where are you going?" the princess asked hurriedly. Lance turned his head to her, a determined look on his face. Allura couldn't help but to recoil at his gaze, feeling as though she was a little girl being scolded by her father.

"To make sure my friend is okay. And one more thing."

Allura stayed quiet as he spoke.

"You may be the princess of Altea, but you're not always right."

Allura sighed as she finally managed to get through the memory in its entirety.

"Yes, I remember." she replied. Looking back now, she couldn't help but to hate herself for what she said. If she was being completely honest, it was because of Lance confronting her that she was able to move past her feelings and apologize to Keith for how she treated him.

"But you see my point, right?" Lance asked as he crossed his arms. Allura nodded in response as she sighed.

"I do." the princess replied quietly. Lance could sense the guilt coming off of the Altean as he tried to ease it.

"Princess, I'm not bringing this back up to hurt you. I'm just trying to get you to see that we're not gonna agree on everything and you shouldn't be mad at me for that.'

"Lance, I didn't mean to get upset with you." said Allura, trying to apologize.

"But you did. And then when I ended up in the hospital, you got upset with me and Keith." Lance stated, remembering their argument that day.

"And you told me I was wrong." the princess acknowledged, rubbing her arm nervously. "Because that's who you are, Lance. Whenever I'm upset about something, you always find a way to talk me down." Allura slowly grabbed Lance's hand once more, looking into his blue eyes lovingly as a heartfelt smile made its way onto her face.

"Lance, I need someone like you in my life." Allura confessed. Lance felt his stomach churn at the confession. This moment once again became one of the instances in which the red paladin should consider this a win. He should be doing backflips just at the thought of Allura needing him. But at this moment, he wanted to run out of this room and never look back. The Cuban boy couldn't help but to smile sadly.

"No, you don't." Just as quickly as it appeared, Allura's smile fell at Lance's words. She could feel the fear flowing through her veins.

"Princess, I'm not the person you need. I'm the person you want." Lance stated, feeling himself get more and more drained as he spoke a truth that could no longer be contained.

"That's not true!" Allura panicked.

"Yes, it is. We have completely different goals. You're trying to save your people. I'm trying to stay alive and get home to my family. You need someone who can be on the same page as you and can talk you down much better than I possibly can. Someone with a similar goal in mind. Someone so much better. I can't-"

"Yes, you can!" Allura interrupted. "Whatever needs to change between us, it can be done! You don't have to be that boy anymore! Quiznak, you're not that boy anymore! You're a strong, capable, compassionate paladin who put his life on the line for me time and time again! My pr-" She widened her eyes in horror at what she was about to say while Lance seemed too stunned to speak, though he was making an active effort not to look so.

"Your what?" Lance asked dejectedly. It was the princess' turn to let go of Lance's hand, lowering her gaze to the floor. Her guilt was immeasurable as she heard Lance let out a sigh

"I'm not him, Allura." the red paladin stated somberly.

"I know that. So many things have changed." the Altean replied, slowly looking back up at Lance. She felt her stomach twist and turn in shame as she took a good look at his face, which showed nothing but defeat and hurt. And she knew that if she was a few steps closer, she could determine whether or not there were actual tears in his eyes ready to spill over.

"Yeah, they have." Lance turned around once more away from the princess. "There was a point in time where I thought that if I just played my part long enough and continued to stand by you that you would notice me. Maybe even fall in love with me. But instead, I had to sit back on the sidelines and watch you get close to someone who I knew would hurt you and the team, but you chose him over me."

Allura's heart fell to the pit of her stomach as she suppressed her gasp.

He knew?

"Y-You know?" Allura squeaked, her voice straining due to her anxiety. Lance quirked one of his brows quickly, slightly dumbfounded at her voice.

"Of course I do. I saw the way you looked at him. You never looked at me like that." Lance chucked sadly. The princess quietly exhaled in relief, but that didn't stop the guilt she felt from continuing to consume her. She didn't want to be responsible for all the pain Lance was feeling, but in a way she was. He has every right to how he feels towards her now. So why does she not want him to leave her alone?

"Allura, when we were in the park together near the tree, I told you that I would follow you across the universe if that meant helping you find a family. And I meant that."

No.

"I want you to be able to go out there and find where you belong."

No.

Quiznak, please no.

"But you'll have to do it without me."

And almost in an instant, the princess felt her heart stop beating. He was going to leave her and she knew he meant it. She stared at the red paladin as she watched him shrug and heard him release another empty chuckle.

"And I know what I said and how I said it. But like you said, things are different now. When you heard me say that, you probably thought I meant it in the romantic context I always use it in. But that's not true. I mean, at one point it would've been like that. But not anymore. Allura, I know what I'm going to say next might hurt you and it won't be something you want to hear. But I-" Lance swerved backward to face the princess once again, but his upcoming sentence was halted.

It was halted...by her lips.

The young Cuban felt his breath hitch in his throat as Allura pressed herself close to him, her lips already weaved into his as she clung to his jacket in attempt to keep him where she wanted. He knows that he should be cherishing such intimacy. But he wasn't that lovesick boy anymore. He was a young man who needed to figure things out for himself and already knew that this was something he didn't want.

He did not want to be kissed.

Not like this.

And not by her.

He didn't have time to think as he recoiled away from the princess' yearning mouth, covering his own with his hand as he gasped for air.

What the hell just happened?!

Allura stood confused, her hands still in the position from when she was gripping his jacket during the kiss. She had honestly thought she was finishing something that he wanted to start. She had thought he wanted this for so long. So why was he reacting like this?

I don't understand. Now he doesn't want to kiss me? I could've sworn he would like this.

"W-What?" she asked, gobsmacked at his reaction. She couldn't help but to slowly grow offended at him and the newfound confusion that continued to plague her once more. Lance continued to stand in front of her, mouth agape as he struggled to talk and could only tremble, Allura clenched her fists as she groaned in annoyance at the situation they were currently in.

"Quiznak, Lance! You have feelings for me, don't you?" Allura exclaimed, causing the scared young man's eyes to enlarge.

She knew?!

"Lance, for the longest time, I brushed your feelings to the side. Even when Lotor came onto the castle, I didn't heed your warnings about him and ignored your feelings until it was too late. I'm even ashamed to admit that before I learned the truth, Lotor and I...shared a moment. But then everything came out and he broke my heart. Betrayed my trust. Almost had us killed. And just when I thought everything was crumbling around me, you were there to pick me back up. And I guess somewhere down the line, I realized just how important of a place you make in my life." Allura finally finished, trying to catch her breath after releasing such a sincere confession.

The silence in the room was deafening as Lance had finally recovered from the shock of the kiss. He could feel his mind racing as he tried to absorb everything that Allura had told him. When he thought about coming clean to Allura, he wanted it to be a simple conversation where he had just let her down easy. Not necessarily confessing to everything he thought and felt, but just that he needed more time to himself and that he couldn't see himself having a romantic shift in this one-sided relationship. He didn't know there was going to be mentions of the past, desperate pleads, and an unwanted kiss. The red paladin was already struggling to hold himself together throughout this entire conversation, but the cracks were starting to make their way to the surface. And Allura's confession might be the blow that causes him to shatter.

"Allura, will you be honest with me?" Lance asked cautiously, trying to keep himself together. The princess nodded eagerly.

"Before the truth came out and you were with Lotor, did you know that I loved you?" Lance watched Allura's face carefully. He was hoping for the shocked look in her eyes. The quick shake of her head in disagreement. The disgust in her voice at the mention of his name. The denial of such a sad reality.

He was looking deep in her vibrant pupils for something.

Anything.

And then he found it:

Regret.

Lance felt his heart drop as he registered the grim expression on Allura's face. He couldn't not notice the way she bit her lip and moved to clasp her hands in front of her, her shoulders going in on themselves the way a turtle would hide in its shell. The answer was clear: Allura knew he was in love with her...and she still chose Lotor. In a way, he had already had a feeling she would choose the prince over him regardless if he had romantic interest in her. But that didn't stop the feeling of sadness and betrayal that he felt. In that moment, he started to wish that he had been consumed by the smoke. That his lungs would turn to molten rock so he could burn from the inside out, letting the fire inside make its way through him as he became nothing more than a pile of ashes.

Allura grew more anxious with each passing second as Lance stayed silent, seemingly processing the information. Just as she was about to ask if he was okay, the red paladin took his first steps. The Altean held her breath, awaiting to see what he was going to do with her, only to feel distraught as he walked around her, heading to the door. She turned around quickly as she attempted to grab onto his arm, getting him to stop.

"Lance! Please wait! I can exp-" She was unable to finish her sentence as Lance shrugged her off of him, keeping his gaze ahead of him as he walked out the door, not bothering to look back as the door closed behind him.

Allura stood frozen in place, her arm outstretched like she was still trying to grab onto something. She felt herself start to breathe heavily as her hand shook before she retracted her arm, her other hand holding it to her chest. She couldn't believe what she just did. What she just said. She used the last of her energy to call out for him, but nothing could come out.

No.

The Altean placed her hand over her mouth as she continued to tremble. She let out a shaky exhale before she dropped to her knees as she began to cry silently. All the anger, sadness, confusion, and regret flowed out of her with every tear that glided down her cheeks and every hiccup that erupted from her throat.

I lost him.

Any sense of control Lance thought he had was lost as his feet carried him through the Garrison hallways. With his body on autopilot, he let himself get consumed with every single thought that plagued him.

It was over.

Things won't be the same between us again.

Allura kissed me.

And she broke me.

Lance could feel his lip begin to tremble at the last part. All this time since they fought Lotor. All that time since the Castle of Lions had been destroyed. All this time since they've returned to Earth, Allura knew that he had feelings for her. She knew how much he loved her and she chose Lotor. But of course she did. Who'd want to be with someone like him when she could be with Lotor, right. Hell, even he knew that.

I'm just a boy from Cuba, not a space prince like Lotor.

It didn't take long for the humiliation and embarrassment that he had tucked away for all this time to come back up to the surface. Every pick-up line, every single flirty one-liner, every single stare. All acknowledged in the worst way possible. He can remember every comment or look the team gave him while he was on his lovestruck crusade. And just that quickly, everything with Allura and Lotor playing back-to-back.

The way she gazed at him.

The way she talked to him.

The way he looked at her when she wasn't looking.

The way he'd subtly try to get closer to her.

Pidge and Hunk pointing out his jealousy.

The way they teased him.

The way they role-played Allura and Lotor falling in love.

How Allura and Lotor stood side-by-side.

The truth.

The betrayal.

The hurt in her eyes.

The look of desperation in his.

Her anger.

Her tears.

Her pain.

Her-

Whoosh

Lance jumped at the sound of his door closing behind him. That whole time he had been within himself, his feet carried him back to this room without issue. He turned his head back and forth as he took in his surroundings, making sure that this was really his room and not someone else's. Once he gave himself the confirmation of being in the right place, it was as if his mind instantly regained control of his body as his legs started to tremble and he started to breathe heavily and shakily. He heard and felt the strained and choked noises trying to make their way out of his mouth, so he decided to keep it shut.

He tried to steady himself as he walked towards his bed, aiming to lay there and forget that this whole day never happened. Before he could face plant into the mattress, his gaze shifted to the picture frame on his nightstand. Against his better judgement, his shaky hand reached out to pick up the frame. His lip quivered as he looked down at the photograph of him and Allura. The way his hands were shoved in his pockets awkwardly. The way she rested her head on his shoulder in pure content. The way she was utterly oblivious to the fact of how he was thinking of someone else just moments before and how that same someone is someone he never wanted to lose.

"You truly feel that way?"

"With all my heart."

Lance could barely make out his own voice as he took a sharp inhale and let the first sob emerge from his throat. He could no longer hold himself up as his legs caved in, causing him to drop the picture frame. His sobs continued to rack through his body as he backed himself up against the wall, pulling his knees into chest and covering his eyes with his hand. He was tired, so very tired. He was tired of the confusion. He was tired of the pain. And he was tired of the what-ifs. The red paladin released a heart-clenching scream before gritting his teeth, returning to his sobs and began to process of letting her go.

The last time he walked away from her, he felt relief.

But now, all he felt was pain.