Hi everyone and Happy Pride Month! To celebrate, here's the new chapter!
Before we dive in, let me take the time to apologize to you guys for my absence. I know I usually make my uploads a monthly thing, but the past few months my mental health has been taking some sort of nosedive and I just didn't feel like writing. Not to mention that when I was actually about to start writing, I got sick so it got postponed even further.
But just to let you guys know, I have every intention of finishing this story and I'm gonna keep writing. So as a heads up, I'm gonna attempt to keep my uploads at a monthly thing, but just know that I'll just write when my mind isn't so..shitty.
Also, so that you guys don't get left in the dark again, follow my Twitter at makorragal312 for updates on my chapters among other things. If you don't have Twitter, i'm also gonna start keeping you guys poster on my Tumblr of the same name
Thank you guys so much for your patience and support! I love you guys!
Now onto the chapter! :)
"Lance! Buddy! Please come out of there!"
Hunk banged his fist against his best friend's door, a wave of silence permeating the air as it had been doing the last several hard knocks. Every minute that passed without the sound of Lance's voice was another minute that the yellow paladin was closer to either having a panic attack or busting the metal door down...maybe even both at the same time. Anything that would get Lance out of his room and back into society.
"Come on, man! Please open the door!"
"It's no use. He's not gonna come out." Pidge sighed, her arms crossed as she sat against the corresponding wall of Lance's door. Normally, she would be right by Hunk's side, practically beating the door with as much energy her short body could muster. And that was exactly what she did.
The first couple of days.
After that, attempting to get to Lance became somewhat of a routine for the two paladins. They'd get up, grab a bite to eat, walk to Lance's door, knock the shit out of said door for a good 30 minutes or more, wait for a response, then leave. Rinse and repeat. So for the green paladin, as much as she hated to admit it, she wasn't expecting anything different to come from today either. Hunk, on the other hand, wasn't so easy to throw in the towel.
"Which is why we're gonna keep knocking until he comes out!" Hunk replied, exhaustive determination laced into his voice as he went to knock on the door a couple more times. Pidge shook her head as she arose from the floor, facing her friend with a pitiful expression on her face as he continued.
"Hunk, you've been knocking on that door for twenty minutes. We've been knocking on that door for almost a week. If he didn't come out the first few times, what makes you think he's going to come out now?" she asked. The yellow paladin paused his fist, placing it up against the door as he stared at it almost desperately. The metallic barrier keeping him from reaching out to his best friend.
"He has to." Hunk replied, determination no longer evident. "He needs to eat and walk around and...he can't stay in there." He closed his eyes tightly in defeat as his lip began to tremble. He slowly removed his hand from the door, letting it fall to his side. Pidge placed her hand on his arm in comfort.
"Look, I know you're worried about Lance. I am, too. But clearly banging on the door isn't working." she stated somberly. She could only watch as her friend walked past her and leaned back onto the wall she had just been sitting against, his shoulders slumped as he exhaled sadly. The green paladin walked back to the wall as she stood beside him, hoping her presence on his side would give him some sort of comfort. She felt bad seeing him like this, but she knew that he knew that getting through to Lance was practically impossible at this rate.
"It sucks, I know." Pidge shrugged. "But considering the circumstances with Allura, we just gotta wait for him to talk to us."
"He won't." The green paladin let out a small chuckle.
"Sure he will. We can always get Shiro to-"
"No, Pidge. He's not going to talk to us. You and me." Hunk replied firmly, putting hard emphasis on the word "us." Pidge whipped her head towards Hunk, the expression on her face matching her shock and confusion at his statement. She couldn't miss the look of guilt that plagued Hunk's features, how his normally bright brown eyes were now brimming with tears.
"We teased him, Pidge. We made fun of him about his feelings for Allura and look what happened." Hunk choked, his words getting stuck in his throat due to the lump that made its presence known. The green paladin placed her hand on Hunk's shoulder in comfort.
"Hunk, come on. We were just teasing." she stated matter-of-factly.
"But he didn't know that!" Hunk cried out, finally turning his head towards Pidge. "He took it seriously! That was the last thing he needed!" He brought his hand up to his face, wiping his eyes with his palm in a vain attempt to keep any incoming tears from spilling out.
How many times did he poke fun at Lance while they were still on the castle?
How many laughs did he have at his expense?
How long has Lance been so miserable and he didn't say anything?
The longer Hunk thought about it, the more sick he felt. His best friend has been going through hell, pining over Allura and going through whatever else was plaguing him. And Hunk had been none the wiser and did nothing but ignore him and push him away. And when he was paying attention to Lance, at best it was fleeting and at worst he was making fun of his feelings. The young Samoan wouldn't be surprised if it took years for Lance to forgive him.
Pidge could only look on, dumbfounded at how to respond to her friend's grief. She thought back to the last conversation they had with Lance about Allura. Though, calling it a conversation didn't really suffice given who had done most of the talking. She couldn't help but to compare that conversation to the last one they tried to have with Lance...before everything went to shit. At least back on the Castle, Lance was at least responding to them and at least had a retort of sorts at the pair's teasing. But she couldn't say that about the Lance of a few days ago.
Quiet. Despondent. Angry. Emotions she never thought Lance was capable of. She knew that those reactions were because of his whole situation with Allura, but there was no way she and Hunk fanned the flames for it, right?
No way, she thought.
"No." Pidge shook her head. "There's no way that we caused this."
"Caused what?"
The two paladins jumped back and yelped in shock as they turned around to find the source of the sudden voice. They were met with a set of confused, light blue eyes that gazed upon the two fear-filled teenagers who were currently paralyzed, lips sealed tight with baited breaths.
"Sorry! Wasn't trying to scare you guys." Veronica chuckled nervously. Getting over the initial shock, the frightened pair eventually calmed down, taking a couple of deep breaths to calm their pacing hearts. The Atlas member raised a brow at their reaction.
"Now, what were you talking about?" she inquired curiously. Hunk and Pidge shared a quick look at each other as they thought about what they could say. Hunk looked down as he twirled his thumbs anxiously. A huge part of him was petrified to tell Veronica about what was truly going on between them and her brother. How was he supposed to tell her that he was probably responsible for his best friend's depressive state? But at the end of the day, Veronica was Lance's sister and any reaction, good or bad, was 100% deserved.
"We were talking about how we cau-" he began to confess, but not before Pidge interjected.
"We were talking about how we probably caused Coran to get some, uh, stomach issues." she replied quickly, trying to be quick on her feet with a hopefully elaborate lie. "He wanted to try Hunk's banana cake and I may or may not have a bit too buttermilk and he just couldn't handle it."
Veronica's eyes widened in surprise.
"Oh, wow." she said, surprise evident in her voice. "Is he okay?"
"He's fine now, but now he's a bit cautious about banana cake. And by banana cake, I mean every single banana cake in the universe." Pidge quipped, feigning an embarrassed smile as she scratched the back of her neck. She felt a bead of sweat form on her forehead as she watched to see if the analyst had bought her story. Luckily, Veronica seemed to buy it as she merely hummed in acknowledgement. Hunk looked at Pidge incredulously, but immediately regained his composure before turning to Veronica with what he hoped was a neutral expression.
"Since that's out of the way, I'm guessing you're here to check on my brother?" Veronica questioned. The yellow paladin nodded his head quickly.
"Yeah. We've been knocking for awhile but he won't respond." Hunk replied worriedly. The older woman turned to look at the door before turning her attention back on her brother's two friends.
"Sorry, but my brother isn't really talking to anyone these days. Shiro even tried to talk to him a few times, but that didn't work out either." Veronica shrugged. Hunk and Pidge gulped. If Lance wasn't even talking to Shiro, then the situation must've been worse than they thought.
"Does he talk to you, though?" Pidge asked nervously.
"More or less. It's usually one word responses or groans. And since he's my brother, I can tell what he wants from his groans alone." Veronica answered honestly before furrowing her brows.
"Mainly, all he does now is sleep. He sleeps so much now that when I come in to check in him, I wait to see if his body's moving so I can tell he's still alive. Even on his bad days, I've never seen him like this before." she finished sadly. The two paladins shared a quick, confused look with each other before turning their attention back to the woman before them.
"Did he say anything about why he's like this?" Hunk inquired. Veronica shook her head, crossing her arms and shifting her weight to her left foot.
"No, he hasn't. I low-key want to push the subject, but that would only upset him further." Veronica couldn't help but to sigh. "Maybe I should ask Allura."
Hunk and Pidge widened their eyes in alarm. That was the last thing ANYONE needed. One wrong word and things could go south real fast.
No, no, no, no, no, no-
"Y-You shouldn't bother, Veronica." Pidge rushed out, finally snapping out of her stupor. "She doesn't know anything either." She could feel Hunk's eyes burning holes into the side of her head, but she elected to ignore it. She already knew that he was going to spill the beans on everything to Veronica, hence why she's doing what she's doing. What was the point in telling her everything if there was a chance things were just going to get worse from here? If anything, Lance would never talk to anyone again and the young paladin wasn't having any of that on her watch. Veronica looked at her skeptically.
"Are you sure about that? I'd think she'd have an inkling of a clue. She seems to be pretty perceptive." Veronica questioned, seemingly unsure of Pidge's honesty.
"Trust me. If me and Hunk over here don't know, then I doubt that the princess would know." Veronica gazed at Pidge questionably before shifting her gaze towards Hunk, looking for confirmation. The yellow paladin nodded his head. Veronica looked back to Pidge for a quick second before deciding that they were being truthful.
"If you say so." she relented. Veronica gestured her thumb towards Lance's door. "So, you guys wanna stay while I check on him, or-?"
"No, no, it's fine!" Hunk stammered, wrapping his arm around Pidge's shoulder with a tight smile. "We'll just leave him to you. It was good seeing you by the way!" Veronica gave the boy a soft smile.
"Yeah, you too." And with that. Hunk led himself and Pidge past the woman as they made their way down the hallway. As they made their way further down, Hunk turned his head behind him to see Veronica typing a code to the room's keypad before seeing the doors open, allowing her to walk in. His ear caught the way she addressed her brother with a soft "Lance, it's me" before the doors swished shut. After hearing the doors close, he halted his steps and removed his arm from around Pidge before looking down at her, a slightly annoyed expression plaguing his features.
"What was that?!" Hunk whispered harshly.
"What?" Pidge responded nonchalantly, as if she hadn't been caught in a lie.
"You lied to Veronica! Lance's SISTER! Why did you do that!"
"Because you were gonna tell her." Hunk's eyes widened, mouth agape as he tried to form words.
"Uh, yeah! How is she supposed to be there for Lance if she doesn't even know what's going on?" Hunk spoke rapidly, his voice slowly rising.
"Look, WE don't even know the full story of what's going on. All we know is that Lance was upset, he found out about Allura kissing Lotor..." Pidge grimaced at the thought.
"God, that sounds weird to say. They kissed, Lance found out and he got pissed. There could very well be more to this. And considering Veronica and Allura were sitting at the same dinner table not too long ago, it might be a bit of an awkward situation if she has to work with the girl who broke her brother's heart."she explained.
Hunk could only stuff his hands in his pockets as he looked down at his boots. As much as he hated to admit it, Pidge made a good point. Telling Veronica what they knew without knowing all of the details was a recipe for disaster. Not to mention that Allura is probably going through a lot with this herself and there was a good chance Shiro and Keith were none the wiser. So for now, at the very least until Lance felt well enough to talk about it, he and Pidge would just keep this between them and spare the team the misinformation.
"Hunk." The yellow paladin lifted his gaze to look at Pidge. She had her arms crossed, head down as she looked at the floor in contemplation.
"You really think Lance is like this because of us?" Pidge asked worriedly. Hunk could only look at her with furrowed brows before sighing.
"Honestly, I don't know." he admitted. "But regardless of how much responsibility we have, Lance was going through and we weren't there for him. And come to think of it, we haven't been there for him for a while. At least not the way he was there for us." Hunk finished sadly. Pidge couldn't help but to flinch at the truth. She thought back to how supportive he was when she went to go find Matt. How he was there for her when she thought she would never see her father again. Unlike herself, who did nothing but push him away when she felt like he got on her nerves. Hell, if he ended up dropping dead one day, she wouldn't even notice. And it made her feel like a piece of shit. She sighed heavily as she pinched the bridge of her nose, eyes shut tightly.
"I'm horrible."Pidge whispered. Hunk looked back to the floor, eyes brimming with tears once again.
"We both are."
"Let me know if anything changes. Thanks Veronica."
Shiro placed his phone back in his pocket as he sat in his chair at the head of the table, sighing deeply as he lowered his forehead against his hands.
"This is bad." he muttered to himself in the empty conference room.
Just when he thought Lance's situation couldn't get any harder, life did exactly that. The last time he had talked to the red paladin, he was still trying to process the conversation he had with Allura. While Shiro didn't know the full details on what had transpired between them, it was made abundant that it was enough for the young man to become closed off, mainly from Allura. So the former paladin decided to let Lance feel things out on his own; Let the boy come to him when he was ready to talk. Next thing he knows, he gets a message from Pidge and Hunk saying that Lance had some sort of episode in the cafeteria and proceeded to scream at Allura before running away. Hearing that information made Shiro's heart drop, his concern for Lance growing. When he asked Pidge and Hunk for the reason for Lance's reaction, he picked up the hesitancy in their response as they made it a point to say that they didn't have a clue. Shiro knew they were probably lying, but he was too worried about Lance to bother issue.
He found himself in front of Lance's door a few minutes after the fact, only to be met with Lance's cries from behind the metal barrier. He inwardly cringed as he registered his hard sobs and the way they managed to echo within the hallway. The Cuban was sobbing so hard that he couldn't hear Shiro pounding his door, asking if he was okay. Everything in Shiro wanted to punch in the room code and run into the room so he can comfort his friend, but something told him that doing so would only make things worse. So rather reluctantly, he made himself walk away but not before calling Veronica and letting her know what was going on as she seemed to be the best person for the situation at hand.
Fast forward to now, as he finished his phone call with Veronica, he's now been informed that Lance isn't feeling any better. Apparently, the red paladin almost never comes out of his room and hasn't talked to anyone outside of his sister. When he's not sleeping, he's crying and vice versa. And honestly, who could blame him? Especially everything he's been through the last couple of weeks with almost dying on the volcanic planet, coming to terms with his sexuality and then having to tell Allura the truth afterwards. Shiro crossed his arms, exhaling hard through his nose at the situation. He couldn't let Lance be stuck like this forever, but what could he possibly do? He was so lost in contemplation that he didn't register the door to the conference room being open and shut.
"You wanted to see me?"
Shiro jumped as he turned his head to the voice, immediately recognizing the face it belonged to.
Oh right. I called her here.
"Yeah. Sit, please." Shiro extended his hand, gesturing to the chair next to him. Allura slowly walked over and sat down, folding her hands anxiously on the table. Her mouth was contorted into a deep frown and her brows were furrowed. Shiro genuinely felt bad for questioning when she's like this, but there were so many things that he needed to know. He knew deep down that this situation between her and Lance didn't escalate like this for no reason. Something had to have been brewing before now and the only way he could get some insight is if he knew the whole story. So he had to do just that.
"So, what did you want to talk about?" Allura asked nervously, looking up at the Atlas commander. Shiro sighed deeply before he replied.
"Well, I've been growing concerned about you and Lance, more specifically your relationship." Shiro started. The Altean clenched her hands tightly, nodding in confirmation.
"Princess, I'm partially aware that your relationship with Lance has been shifting. And I know that it's not a recent development. But things have gotten to a point where the tension between you two is obvious and Lance seems to be feeling it the worst. Not to mention the fact that this tension is affecting the team" Shiro said admittedly. Allura's eyes widened with guilt at his statement. She had hoped that things wouldn't have gotten to the point where the team was affected, but she was clearly being too optimistic. The more that she thought about it, however, it made sense. Outside of Lance, Shiro was bringing his concern to her attention and Pidge and Hunk have been nothing short of awkward when it came to the topic of her and Lance. Quiznak, they would get flustered and uncomfortable whenever they were in the same room, which was nothing short of understandable considering they were there to witness what happened in the cafeteria.
Shiro placed his hand atop Allura's hands comfortingly.
"Look, I'm not saying this to make you feel bad or to worry you. I want you guys get to some sort of a good place." Allura's lip began to tremble. She never thought that there would be a time where Lance wanted nothing to do with her and it hurt like hell. At this point, she was willing to do anything to get him back, but she didn't know where to start. The princess raised her free hand to her hair as she gripped it firmly.
"Oh, Shiro. So many things have happened. I don't even know where to begin." she stated tiredly. Shiro gave her hands a reassuring squeeze.
"Let's just start from the top, okay?" Shiro suggested. Allura thought over the suggestion for a moment before nodding tentatively. "Well, before I was 'out of commission,' things between you and Lance were relatively the same in terms of his flirting, correct?"
The princess nodded her head in confirmation.
"For the most part, yes. At least I think so." She answered truthfully.
"Okay. When do you think things started to change?" Allura slowly removed her hand from Shiro's grasp as she raised it to the back of her neck, rubbing the area. She inhaled deeply through her nose before releasing, bracing herself for the answer that was going to come out from her trembling lips.
"Lotor." she said, her voice riddled with guilt. Shiro raised a baffled brow. He vaguely recognized from the clone's memories that Lotor inserted himself into the team, but he didn't have a clue as to how he fit into the equation with Lance and Allura.
"Lotor?" the former paladin questioned. Allura shut her eyes as she sighed, hating the fact that she had to relive this whole situation. She felt herself cringed as she told Shiro every detail of what happened. Her initial hesitation of letting Lotor on the ship and receiving his help. How she came to trust and believe him when he said he wanted to stray away from his father. How adamant she was to learn the secrets of Altean alchemy and to revive the Altean colonies. How she ended up falling in love with him and was eventually betrayed by him when the truth came to light.
"To think that I ever-" Allura stopped herself quickly, ceasing what was about to become her guilt-ridden rambling. No, she couldn't allow herself to blame herself any longer. What happened happened and there was nothing she could do to change that. Lotor had played her for a fool and he paid the price. She shook her head briefly, trying to get the aforementioned man out of her head as she tried to continue from where she left off.
"But with that being said, things had started to shift after the truth came out and the rest of the team was trying to fix the ship. I was still reeling from Lotor's betrayal and Lance was right there with me. He was there for me when I needed comfort and reassurance and he gave me that." she confessed. The former paladin couldn't help but to briefly raise his brow skeptically. He could just be misreading things, but something didn't sit right to him with the way Allura phrased that statement. But all he could do was brush it aside for now as he continued to let the Altean speak her truth.
"And ever since then, I've looked at Lance differently than before. He's not just this boy with weird pick-up lines and awful jokes. He's kind, patient, and understanding. I'll admit, when he first asked me out to a date, I was hesitant. But Romelle insisted on me giving it a shot and so I did. And it was great! The dinner was wonderful and his family is amazing. And then towards the end, he said he wanted to be my family. And for the first time in deca-pheobs, I wasn't alone anymore. But then-" Allura paused, planting her hands on the table before rising from her seat, walking to the wall behind her. Shiro rose up after her, instead choosing to keep himself planted near his seat and cross his arms in anticipation.
"He changed his mind." Allura gasped out, blinking back oncoming tears.
"I want you to be able to go out there and find where you belong. But you'll have to do it without me."
"He said he would be my family and he changed his mind. A-And I couldn't stand that." the princess trembled, wrapping her arms around herself in a vain attempt to stop. It was as if the more she talked, the more she realized that Lance was slipping right from her hands.
Shiro could only watch as he watched Allura's shoulder bounce with every cry she tried to suppress. It hurt him watching her heart break. He knew that deep down she truly cared about Lance and how much she wants him to be a part of her life. But in the same breath, he was the one who suggested to Lance that he should be honest with her, hence why they're at where they're at now. So for Lance's sake, he would keep that information to himself and leave Lance with the choice to make the call to say it himself. With that being said, considering everything that she said up to this point, Shiro couldn't ignore the fact that she had several lapses in judgement. Lapses that she either doesn't notice or is choosing to ignore. Lapses that have done nothing but caused her and Lance unnecessary pain. And she needs to know.
"Shiro?" The Atlas captain snapped out of his stupor as he focused on Allura, her eyes red as she waited for his next words.
"You said that Lance gave you comfort after the truth with Lotor came out, right?" Shiro inquired. Allura furrowed her brows at his question, but answered nonetheless.
"Yes."
"And that Lance himself said that he wanted to be your family?"
"Yes."
"And when he changed his mind, that upset you?" Allura's face twisted into a confused expression at Shiro's excessive questioning.
"What are you trying to say?" she asked nervously. She heard her friend let out a heavy yet tentative sigh.
"Allura, do you actually want to be with Lance?" The aforementioned princess finally turned around, looking at Shiro incredulously at his question. She could feel this sense of anger bubbling up in her stomach, but she chose to repress it for his sake.
"How can you ask me something like that?" she asked, visibly offended. Shiro looked at Allura pitifully, but his voice remained firm.
"Princess, I know that you care about Lance. But it sounds as though you only started seeing him 'differently' once Lotor was gone." Shiro explained. Allura's eyes widened, lump growing in her throat.
"T-That's not true." Allura retorted. "And what's wrong with me seeing him differently? Isn't that a good thing."
"Princess, I genuinely want to believe you when you say you love Lance. But deep down, you and I both know that you don't. At least not the way Lance does to you." Shiro replied. The princess clenched her fists.
"What do y-"
"Allura, if Lotor never left and never did what he did, I honestly think we wouldn't be having this conversation." The blue paladin was taken aback, her heart beating out of her chest and into her ears. She hated this. She hated that her own friend was putting her on the spot like this as if she was some sort of criminal who needed to be questioned.
"T-That's not fair, Shiro!" she exclaimed, her anger and annoyance finally boiling over. Shiro felt his eye twitch.
"No. What's not fair is that Lance is getting hurt and you don't seem to realize that you're the one hurting him." The princess shook her head slowly in denial.
"I would never-"
"But you did." Shiro interrupted, desperately trying to get through to her. "I know you would never hurt Lance intentionally, Allura. But the things that you've been doing and saying have clearly been affecting him and not in a good way."
The princess began to pace back and forth, hands covering her guilt-ridden face. Shiro slowly walked from his chair, trying to come closer to the princess while also trying to give her some space.
"Allura, whatever is happening between you and Lance isn't good for either of you." he spoke softly, worried that the Altean will shatter to pieces if he spoke any louder than before. "I think the best thing to do is to just let him go."
"I can't."
"Why not?"
"BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO BE ALONE ANYMORE!" Allura wailed, a new onslaught of tears making their way down her face. Shiro was taken aback at the outburst, visibly leaning back at her cry. The Altean inhaled shakily as she tried to talk.
"I'm so tired of roaming this galaxy by myself. No kingdom. No people. I can't stand the loneliness anymore. I just...I just want a family." Allura could no longer control her sobs as she once again buried her face in her hands, not caring if anyone outside the room could hear her. It was as if everything around her had turned into glass and with every puncture delivered by Shiro caused a crack in the surface until everything was on the verge of breaking. All it needed was a couple more hits until it all fell apart. She was so lost in the impending chaos surrounding her that she didn't register a pair of hands grabbing her arms in an attempt to hold her in place.
"But you do have a family! Coran, Romelle, me and the team. We're all here for you. You don't need to be with someone to fulfill that." he chastised gently. "You shouldn't go after someone else just to fill a void. That's not their job. They should be your support, not your crutch."
After a while, the crying Altean dragged her hands off of her face, revealing her teary, blue orbs and quivering mouth to the concerned captain.
"And yeah, I'm sure it really hurt when Lance changed his mind. But he's entitled to make his own choices, even if it's something you disagree with. You need to put his feelings above your own." Shiro said firmly. Allura's hands finally dropped to her sides, completely limp and deprived of energy.
"I thought it would work." she finally said, her voice raspy from her previous cries. "I just thought that somewhere down the line, things would fall into place. He already loved me, so why not give it a chance?"
"Because it was never going to work." Shiro replied. "It wouldn't be beneficial because he would be giving all the support. This is nothing short of toxic."
And just like that, all the glass that surrounded Allura shattered into pieces, falling around her. She could only stand there and listen as the remnants of each piece pierced the ground she stood on. By the time it was over, all the glass was in microscopic pieces, pieces so fine anyone from afar would think the princess was surrounded by glitter. Oh, how she wished it was something so fantastical. But no, there she stood surrounded by the remains of her choices. The perfect barrier that surrounded her couldn't hold on and proceeded to break.
Of course, it wouldn't. She was toxic.
With a heavy sigh, Shiro released her arms. He could tell by the way she went limp in his grasp and the current silence between them that his point had been made...at least he hoped it did. He already knew from the moment that he asked her to meet him here that this would be an intense conversation and that there was more than likely going to be some pushback from the princess, but he had already mentally prepared for that. He said what needed to be said, so now Allura had to sit with it.
"I'll give you some time to think it over. I really do hope things work out." he said softly. He rubbed Allura's arm gently and he made his way out, the metal door closing behind him and leaving the despondent princess alone. Allura exhaled shakily as she slowly walked back to her chair, her legs shaking as she tried to keep herself steady. It wasn't until she grabbed the top of the seat that she let herself collapse into it, shallow breaths taking over her whole body. Everything that was said came rushing back to her at once.
"If Lotor never left and never did what he did, I honestly think we wouldn't be having this conversation."
"What's not fair is that Lance is getting hurt and you don't seem to realize that you're the one hurting him."
"This is nothing short of toxic."
Allura rested her head in her hand, tears falling into her lap. She felt herself teetering on the edge, so all she could do was talk aloud to the quiet room.
"I'm not toxic."
Allura wasn't sure how long she had stayed behind in the conference room. If she had to give an estimate, it might have been a good varga or so if her dried up tear streaks gave any indication. She internally counted her blessings that no one else came into the room, but she knew it was better for her to retreat back to her room before anyone got the chance. She slowly rose from her chair, her head throbbing and her knees shaking. She sighed in exhaustion as she walked to the set of doors that opened before her. The Altean squinted her eyes at the ceiling lights that pierced her pupils, covering them with her hand as she reaccommodated herself to the artificial lights that she was deprived of in the dark, conference room. As she stepped out into the gleaming hallway, her ears registered the sound of footsteps coming towards her before stopping abruptly.
She turned her head slowly, letting out a gasp as she saw who it was. She couldn't miss the mild surprise in his eyes before it faded away just as quickly, now being replaced with what could only be described as an attempt to conceal his anger.
"Sorry. I'll stay out of your way." Keith said quickly as he attempted to walk past her.
"Keith, wait." he heard Allura say. He ceased his steps as he stood in place, inhaling deeply in an attempt to calm himself down. Ever since that night in the hallway, he had been making a point to avoid the princess except for when they have to go on missions. All he could think about was what he heard Allura say, how she knew of Lance's feelings for her and decided to kiss Lotor. He remembered how Romelle needed to calm him down for a good five minutes because he wanted nothing more than to confront her, but the young Altean convinced him otherwise, something he was now immensely grateful for.
"You're upset, aren't you?" Allura asked. The black paladin tried to release the tension in his shoulders but to no avail. Everything in him wanted to explode, but he knew that once he started, there was no going back for the two of them. If he just kept looking straight and answered everything quickly and correctly, Allura would let him leave. He forced himself to release a sigh.
"Yeah." Keith replied through gritted teeth. Just breathe, Keith. Breathe. He stood in the uncomfortable silence waiting for a response before Allura finally replied.
"Does it have something to do with me?" she guessed.
Nope. Can't do it.
In an instant, the calm facade that Keith tried to maintain came plummeting down, the anger he tried so hard to suppress coursing through his veins and bones. He turned around and faced the princess, whom's eyes widened at how suddenly he turned.
"It has EVERYTHING to do with you." he replied coldly as he crossed his arms, his voice low so that he wouldn't attract the attention of anyone passing by the two of them. The Altean's mouth dropped in surprise, but she recovered quickly as her face became serious, not appreciating the sudden outburst.
"I don't recall doing anything to you." she replied sternly. Keith wanted to fucking scream.
"Not me. Lance."
Allura was at a loss for words. At that moment, the princess wanted nothing more but for the floor to swallow her whole and spit out her bones. She wanted to rip her hair out for how utterly naive she could be. Sure, she hadn't seen the half-Galran male throughout the last few weeks, but she had to have known that he was going to find out somehow.
"I take it that you know?" Allura asked flatly. Keith felt his eye twitch at her question. How the hell could she just ask that so calmly? He gripped the sleeve of his uniform to keep himself calm. He was pissed as all hell, sure, but he genuinely didn't want to start a fight. If anything, he just wanted answers.
"That you basically played with Lance's feelings? Yeah, I know." Keith replied sarcastically. The Altean sighed, but unlike earlier she was going to "attempt" to keep her cool.
"I wasn't trying to play with his feelings."
"Then what do you call it?" Allura sighed. Out of all the paladins, a part of her never expected Keith to be the one who was the most upset by this. But the more she thought about it, she was quite ignorant to think otherwise. If she considered how close he and Lance had gotten, she wouldn't be surprised if Lance had spilled his heart to him about everything that happened.
"Keith, Shiro already spoke to me about my...recent behavior." she confessed. The paladin raised his eyebrows in surprise. He hadn't realized that Shiro had a conversation with her, but considering the aforementioned Altean had been walking out of an empty conference room, it made some sembelance of sense. But knowing his brother, Keith already knew that Shiro had opted to take a much more gentler approach than whatever he was going to do next.
"You talked with Shiro?" he inquired, curiosity laced in his voice. The Altean nodded.
"Yes. And I told him mostly everything between Lance and I understand that you're...disappointed with my actions-" Allura started again, only for the black paladin to interject.
"Understatement." he deadpanned.
"But hurting Lance was never my intention." The princess finally got out. Keith pinched the bridge of his nose as he tried to come up with his next words carefully.
"That's just it, Allura." Keith groaned. "It doesn't matter what your intentions were. Even before all of this happened, you've done nothing but hurt him. Hell, if he so much as goes against your word, you get all up in arms." Allura could only rub her arm guiltily.
The volcano planet, she thought.
"And I've done nothing but apologize for that!" Allura raised her voice slightly.
"And that just makes it okay?" Keith asked, his arms outstretched by his sides in an attempt to emphasize his question. Allura flinched before lowering her gaze to the floor, knowing that this conversation was just going to be a more intense version of the one she had with Shiro. The barrier she had to protect her from the verbal barrages no longer existed, so she knew she had no other option but to take it head on.
"No, it doesn't." she answered, any signs of a fight nonexistent. "And I know that now. There's nothing you can say that Shiro hasn't already said." Keith couldn't help but to quirk one of his brows, skeptisism overtaking him from the princess' statement.
"Oh, so he knows about you kissing Lotor?" Allura's eyes turned into saucers at the question. There was absolutely no way that he could've known! She knew that Lance found out and she remembered vividly that she told Romelle. She was starting to see why Keith was so mad when he first approached her: it was probably because of this. Her face could only be described as that of a fish out of water, her mouth alternating between being closed and shut in a failing attempt to form words. Seeing Allura's reaction, Keith came to the simple conclusion that she hadn't told Shiro about this. But seeing as he knew, he wasn't afraid to let it be known that he knew.
"H-How do you-" Allura stuttered pathetically.
"How do I know?" Keith asked, his voice exaggerated. "Simple..."
"I'll go talk to her."
"I'll go follow Lance." Keith made a run for it, letting his feet carry him quickly through the hallway as he tried to reach Lance. With every step that he took, he couldn't help but to become increasingly worried. One moment ago, Lance was barely saying anything and looked like he was on the verge of tears. But now, that same Lance was screaming and walking around filled with anger. The type of anger that stayed within his younger self whenever he was upset or frustrated. But Keith refused to let the red paladin in question be consumed by such an emotion, not if he had anything to say about it. He was so focused on his resolve that he almost didn't realize that Lance was so close in front of him.
"Lance!" Keith exclaimed, reaching out and grabbing Lance's arm, stopping him in his tracks. He could hear the red paladin breathing heavily as he tried to release himself from Keith's grip. The black paladin only grew more concerned the longer he was met with the back of LAnce's head.
"Talk to me! What happened?" he asked worriedly. In an instant, Lance whipped around to look at Keith, tear streaks coating both sides of his face as his eyes were bloodshot red. Keith was taken aback, wanting nothing more than to wipe the tears away and pull the Cuban boy into his arms so he can be the one to feel all of the pain. Lance opened his mouth, but the only thing that came out was a choked sob as he turned his head away from Keith, biting his lip. Then like clockwork, he grabbed Keith's hand that was grabbing his arm and took it off of him before running away again, taking precaution to not look back
"Wait! Come back!" the black paladin yelled after him, And like that he was gone. The confusion and concern that took over Keith's being rose as he turned around and ran back to his original spot earlier. He needed to talk to Allura and know what the hell was going on.
Did they have another fight?
Did Allura say something?
Did HE say something?
Suddenly, Keith whipped his head back to the other side of the hallway.
"Romelle.." Keith gasped out. In an instant, he turned himself around and ran back down to the other side of the hallway in a desperate attempt to reach her. He had almost forgotten that he left her alone with Allura. By the time he made It back, he could hear Romelle talking to her rather urgently. As much as he wanted to ask what happened, he figured that it was better for him to listen in and intervene when things started to get too intense. Luckily for him, it gave Keith the opportunity to catch his breath from all the back and forth running that he had to do as he crossed his arms cooly and leaned against the wall.
"Wait, but if he had feelings for you and you didn't feel the same way, why is he so angry?" he heard Romelle ask angrily. Confusion took over Keith's senses as he tried to work through the question. Someone had feelings for Allura? And she didn't feel the same way? Keith thought for a moment before he felt his blood run cold. There was only person he knew to have feelings for Allura and if his hunch was right, that would mean that Allura neglected his feelings, And Keith absolutely HATED the thought.
But there was no way it could be who he thought it could be, right? And that's when he got his answer.
"...Lotor." The former Blade member was so lost in thought that he almost missed the last part of the sentence, leaving him baffled.
"Y-You what?" he heard Romelle stutter out. Now, he was getting anxious. Clearly, whatever was said before was concerning enough to warrant a reaction like that from the two of them. But finally, he got his answer as Allura spoke.
"Yes. Instead of telling him the truth, I went ahead and kissed Lotor." the princess confessed. In an instant, the entire room tilted. The only thing that Keith could hear was his rapid heartbeat and his low, shallow breathing. He could barely register the shouting that was going on in the background, but that was now the last thing on his mind. He felt a volcanic sensation run through his veins and bones as he registered the words that were just exchanged. So it was true: Allura finally realized Lance's feelings for her and she proceeded to kiss Lotor. It didn't take long for Lance's face to flash through his mind. They way his normally bright blue eyes were filled with tears and how his lips that were so quick to spew out a sarcastic quip were trembling and weren't able to dish out a single word. The anger was so intense that he almost didn't hear the meek voice that was talking to him.
"How much did you hear?" Romelle asked nervously, almost as if she thought Keith would yell at her. The black paladin could only look up at her as he gripped the sleeve of his uniform.
"Everything."
"You were there?" Allura inquired, shock still evident on her face.
"And I heard every word. I'm guessing you were so upset that night that you didn't even register that I was there with Romelle." Keith stated in his matter-of-fact voice. Allura felt her breathing speed up, anxiety building up inside her. She couldn't help but to feel so small under Keith's gaze, indignant and filled with and a tint of betrayal. He was looking at her as if she was filled with poison. Almost lie she was...toxic.
I'm not toxic.
I'm not toxic
Allura stepped slowly towards Keith, wanting nothing more than to take that look out of his eye.
"Keith, please. I just-" she attempted to beg, but Keith beat her to it.
"Just what?" he asked, his calm voice laced with annoyance. "You just loved Lotor so much that you just stopped caring about how Lance was feeling? You didn't see the point in telling him and letting him down easy so you decided it was better for him to find out like this? Huh, is that it? And then suddenly, when Lotor's gone, you just automatically fall in love with Lance?"
"It's not like that!" Allura exclaimed. "Me falling for him didn't come out of nowhere! Lotor was gone! We were stuck in space for three years because of the quintessence field! I was alone for three years! I had the right to move on!" That statement alone caused Keith to clench his fists. Any sort of grace that he tried to hold for her sake was gone.
"You're wrong." Keith said, keeping his voice steady.
"What do you mean I'm wrong?" Allura asked angrily.
"Pidge's parents had three years. Lance's family had three years. The whole Garrison had three years. WE didn't have three years, Allura! Everything that happened post-quintessence field happened so fast it felt more like days! Every other varga, there was something else to find or to fight, back to back to back! So you're 'three years' of loneliness was nothing short of three days. If I'm being generous, I'd give it three weeks!" Keith shouted in response. And with that, Allura crouched down towards the floor, holding her head in her hand as she shook it back and forth. He didn't miss the sudden droplets of water that fell at her boots on the floor as she began to shake.
"No, no no..." she cried. Keith could only stand there as he let Allura go through her denial. He didn't know how Shiro was able to talk to her about this, but he decided not to question it. He stuffed his hands in his pockets just as Allura finally rose back to her feet, head still lowered.
"I didn't want this! I didn't want anyone to get hurt! I-I didn't want him to get hurt." she spoke, her voice trembling. "I want to fix this." The black paladin took slow strides across the floor until he was standing next to the Altean.
"If you want to fix this, give Lance his space. Let him decide if he wants to forgive you and move on. It's about time he got the support HE deserved." Keith said quietly. And with that, he walked away. He didn't bother turning around to look at the princess, opting to let her feel the weight of her actions. A part of him couldn't help but to kick himself in the ass considering he truly wanted to be cordial with the princess. After all, they were teammates and have to work with each other. But he couldn't stand by and let this tension between her and Lance continue to fester.
Had his feelings for Lance potentially attributed to it? Possibly.
Did he wish he was calmer? Yeah.
Did he regret what he said? Hell no.
Regardless of how things were said, what was done is done. There was no way in hell he was going to leave Lance in pain.
Not again.