JACE

"I have to gather the Gatewatch."

"Jace, wait," said Liliana, clutching his sleeve. "Just…stay with me one more night. Surely this can wait 'til morning. We don't even know if it's true."

"Lili, if there's even a chance Tezzeret could be working with the Phyrexians, we're going to need all hands on-deck. And some of our members may take a lot of convincing. Nissa's the one who's least likely to join us again, but maybe this could be enough to persuade her… It may take time, though, to get through to her—and to find the others."

He saw the pained look in her eyes before she looked away and realized why she was afraid. He went to her, placed his hands on the back of her head; his fingers gently tangled in her hair. Pressing his forehead to hers, he said, "I will return to you. I won't leave you again."

She met his gaze, pleading with her eyes. "Promise me, Jace. Promise you won't hurt me again."

He sighed and then he pulled her close. Then he whispered, "I promise, Lili—I won't leave if you won't lie. No more secrets."

"I'm not—."

Without waiting for her to finish, he asked bluntly, "What is Kollema helping you research?"

Her lips parted and she looked away. Then she sighed. "It's…personal."

"Lili, if we are going to make this work between us, we can't be hiding anything. I love you—but you've lied to me before. I need to know what you're trying to do."

Her brows narrowed and a redness spread across her pale cheeks, likely from anger more than from embarrassment. "That's not your concern. It has nothing to do with you."

"It is my concern because I want to understand why you're keeping things from me…again. And because I'm worried."

"About what?"

"About what you might be trying to do."

"Well, what do you think I'm trying to do?"

He paused and took a deep breath, trying to relax. This had been troubling him for weeks, but he realized he was only pushing her away by the suddenness of his interrogation. He needed to go back to the beginning, to explain himself, or she would never understand from where all this was coming.

"A few weeks ago, when you let me into your mind…I saw some things that I didn't understand. Then when you told me you were doing some forbidden research related to necromancy, I started to put the pieces together. Are you…trying to find a way to bring Gideon back to life?"

She crossed her arms over her chest and tilted her head, testily meeting his gaze. "What if I am?"

He sighed. "Lili, your heart is in the right place, but…I just don't think—."

"Relax," she cut him off, slicing her hand through the air. "I'm not trying to bring Gideon back."

He squinted his eyes at her. "When I glimpsed your mind…"

"Clearly, you missed a few things. There was a time, yes, when I did want to bring him back—not as a zombie, but as a living, breathing…Gideon. He didn't deserve to die. I felt like I owed him his life, so if there was a way for me to bring him back…"

She sighed and her eyes filled with tears. Then she looked away, and continued, "I realized, though, that even if I could find a way to bring him back, maybe he wouldn't want that. That I have no right to make that choice for him. I realized I had to let him go. He had already made his choice, and I had to honor it—to honor him. And that, to honor his sacrifice, I had to…learn to be honorable."

"So, you're…not trying to find a way to bring him back to life?"

"No," she answered definitively.

"Then…what are you trying to do…? I don't understand."

She looked away again—always the elusiveness. He began to wonder if he could trust her again, but then she said something he would never have expected:

"I'm trying to have a child."

He started. "Wh-what?"

She let out a frustrated sigh and crossed her arms again. "I…can't have children. I've never been able to—I've never wanted to. I've been…pregnant. But I've never stayed pregnant. I thought it was a blessing, you know? I didn't have to worry. But after two hundred years of being on my own and…thinking only of myself…" She shrugged.

"You…want to have a…child? Like…a baby?"

"Not with you." Then she quickly added, "I mean, I was trying before you came here. I would never…trick you or anything like that. I just… Anyway, it doesn't matter now. There are more important things to worry about—too many loose ends that need tying up."

Jace blinked, still trying to wrap his head around this most unexpected admission. "Well, it does matter. I mean, now isn't the time to start a family, but…someday…"

"Yes, someday. But not now."

"No, definitely…definitely not now. Wait, but…can you? I mean, what does it have to do with necromancy?"

She touched her fingers to her forehead as though she had a headache. "Jace, I really don't want to talk about this right now. It's… I've already said too much. And you were about to leave…"

"I can stay one more night. I want…I need to know more about this."

"Are you really that interested?" She seemed genuinely surprised.

"Well, yeah…I mean," he shrugged. "You've been pregnant? Have you ever been…from me?"

She cast her eyes to the side, and said, "I've been pregnant more times than I can count."

"Even though you're…?"

"Over two centuries old?" she asked, raising a brow.

He rubbed the back of his neck and let one corner of his mouth raise. Then he nodded slightly.

She chuckled. "Yes, I can still get pregnant. So, I finally started to wonder why I couldn't stay pregnant. Clearly, I'm not exactly infertile, so I started to wonder if it's…the death magic."

"It would make sense," he said thoughtfully. "But can't you control it? I mean, you don't kill everything you touch—only the things you want to, so why would this be any different?"

"Normally, yes. But I went to see someone…to find out if there was a biological reason that I couldn't stay pregnant. According to the midwife, everything's all well and good in that regard. She said my husband and I should be very fruitful."

"Your…husband?"

She rolled her eyes. "She assumed I was married, and I didn't bother to contradict her."

After a brief pause, she continued, "So, I started doing research and found out there is a correlation between death magic and infertility in female necromancers. Then I wanted to know if there was a way to bypass the death magic that flows through my body, to allow me to bring a life into the Multiverse instead of always taking it."

Suddenly, Jace laughed. "I'm sorry, this is just…very unexpected, especially coming from you."

"Thanks, Jace," she said with a sarcastic smile and a tilt of her head. Then the smile faded, and she said, "Look, I don't want to talk about this anymore. You've got what you wanted from me—the truth, as ridiculous as it may be. Now can we…just move on? Tezzeret's still out there and if you're right about the Phyrexians…"

"Yes," he agreed, trying to bring his mind back to the matter at hand. "Yes, you're right."

He then stepped forward and took her hands in between his own. "But it's not ridiculous. And maybe someday, when the Multiverse is…not under imminent threat…we could revisit this discussion."

She raised her eyes to his—they were rimmed with tears and her gaze was a combination of curiosity and hope. The corner of her mouth twitched, as though she had almost smiled. Then she wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her head against his shoulder. "I love you, Jace."

It was the first time she had said it in a very long time. And this time, he was certain that she meant it.

He spent one last night with her and then prepared for what would likely be a difficult mission ahead. She was still asleep when he got up and began to dress, and then he sat on the bed beside her and watched her sleep until she began to stir. When her eyelids slowly opened and she saw him watching, she smiled sadly and reached out to him. He took her hand, pressed it to his lips, and climbed into the bed beside her. Then they lay together, holding each other in silence until the sun had fully risen above the horizon, casting luminescent rays through the curtains. It was only then that Jace finally spoke.

"I don't want to leave you," he said softly, nuzzling her ear. "What if this has all been a dream—some illusion I've created in my own mind, to have you back again? And when I 'walk away, I'll wake up and you're not there and I realize you never were."

Liliana smiled faintly and snuggled closer to him, but then she looked at him over her shoulder with a playful grin. "I could bite you, so you know it's real."

He growled in laughter and nibbled on the side of her neck, saying, "Not if I bite you first."

She squealed and tried to pull away, laughing. Then he held her wrists above her head and gazed at her before leaning down with a kiss. It was like the early days—those halcyon days when they first started seeing each other and Jace had no doubt in his mind that he loved her, and she loved him. He knew her better now than he ever had before, for better or worse. Yet, if their love could withstand the many pressures that had been stacked against them, from both within themselves and with others, Jace was certain he had never imagined that their love was real. He was older and wiser; and more certain now than he had ever been before. And he knew he didn't want to ever let her go again.

"Come with me," he said suddenly, gazing down at her. But then her smile faded, and that guarded look came over her violet gaze.

"You're joking, right? Because you can't be serious. I'm supposed to be dead, remember?"

"Oh, right," he remembered. "Well, eventually they're going to have to know you're still alive and well. Because we'll need you in this fight as much as we need everyone else."

He paused, and then added, "And…I need you. I want you." He ran his thumb across her cheek and gazed into her eyes. "I love you, Liliana Vess. And I will return for you. And together, we will defeat this evil that threatens the Multiverse."

"You make it sound so easy," she teased. Then she brushed her lips across his, and whispered, "I love you, too, Jace Beleren. And when you return, I'll be ready to join you—to be a part of the Gatewatch again. We still have work to do."