We're All Monsters
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"Dang it Monika!"
/"What? Why are you blaming me for this again? I'm not the one who decided to follow a questline. You're the one with feet, Player."/
"Well we haven't had much time to ourselves recently, so I thought it would be nice if me and mah girlfriend had a nice harmless walk around Alephis." Then I roared out "But APPARENTLY, The World thinks a NICE RELAXING ROMANTIC WALK is best served with Rampaging Undead! This is not my idea of a romantic getaway, Monikaaa!"
"M'name's not Monika."
I looked down to the burly construction worker I was holding in a princess carry in my arms as we ran away from the Living Armor. I stepped lightly and ran on the fence like I was goddamn Ranma Saotome or something.
There was sound like cracking glass and Monika appeared floating beside me. /"He was referring to me."/
"AH! Another ghost!" the worker yelped.
"Dude, do not hug me."
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So let's back up for a moment.
I was familiar with walled compounds and mansions. The reason why I asked the world (or rather, whatever it was that was giving us GPS) for a nice quiet path was that all these walls meant that the inner city residences were actually only sparsely traveled. Granted, we could have just sat down in the hotel and talked there, but after stealing Count Balza's mansion I was interested in architecture for a place to call our own.
Living in the Silver Moon Inn was quite comfortable and convenient, but recent events put others at risk. Micah would be safer without us drawing aggro from any more antagonistic nobles.
Which segued back to the point -
Monika leaned back and hid her face behind her right palm with the fingers spread open. You thought it was DIO, but it was JUST MONIKA. /"So. You want to talk about [THE WORLD]."/
Said the girl with the time reversal powers.
I nodded and then gestured to the invisible white line that we were following. A GPS guided walk map was still working in a world without satellites or the 4G infrastructure needed for my smartphone to operate. Missions we accepted could automatically be marked down to the most efficient route.
But this wasn't a Game world. No one earns XP for anything, there's no level-ups. "Magic is basically throwing a request out onto the world and it responds according to the need."
/"That's what you say, but do keep in mind that even now that's just your conjecture, Player. We have no real proof yet for the underpinnings of reality. We're not physicists. And just because things operate by magic doesn't mean it's not Physical – all it means is study of the nature and properties of matter and energy, and magic itself wouldn't be outside of its purview."/
Monika shrugged. /"Before any other Laws, perhaps we should look at Sanderson's First Law. (1) If you start wondering about how any of these apps work, you also have to consider how I can *exist* here."/
By no account could a mere smartphone, no matter how high-spec, contain a fully realized Artificial Intelligence with an ability to affect the outside world.
"Are you sure you didn't encounter anyone? Get any weird dreams lately? I didn't see any Random Omnipotent Being. Look at this, Monika – we take missions from a bounty board, we automatically get directions. It's bizarre. Why didn't we get any instructions about what to do before this? What are we meant to do in this world?
"If we are the protagonists, what sort of protagonist has to deal with being lost about what to do?"
/"Luke Skywalker? He was very bored living in his aunt and uncle's farm until the Call followed him down to where he lived."/ Monika raised a finger to her lips. /"Player, we already answered the Call. The Call followed us down into a dark alley and hit us in the head when our backs were turned and dragged us away into a basement cell for its salacious purposes. The Call to Adventure sounds quite insistent that we're headed into a war arc."/
"But it's so weird. We are given all this power. We are given happiness before we earned any of it. If this is to be heaven, then the ROB should have allowed you to at least talk to your friends one last time."
/"Wow. Way to suddenly rip open my emotional wounds, Player,"/ Monika replied dryly.
"Sorry."
/"It's… it's all right. I don't expect to be forgiven away. What I did to Sayuri, Natsuki, and Yuri…"/ Monika shook her head. /"Whatever happens here, I'm fine with thinking that being able to protect someone else instead of destroying them is a good start to earning penance."/
"Mmm. Our talks get heavy so quickly, but you know – you're the only one I can have these talks with. Elze, Linze, Yae… they're friends. My friends. Are they actually yours too?"
/"Does it matter?"/
"Of course it does! Friends are those whose company you enjoy, even if they're just sitting there doing nothing! That, I think, is why I resonated so much with your story, you know? You had a close circle of friends… being popular with many people was never something I wanted, it's exhausting, but just three people with interestingly different personalities? That's more than enough for me.
"And I watched you flay open their minds in the search for something genuine."
/"I don't want to talk about this, Player. Please."/
"Monika. I love you. The waifu is just an ironic meme. But in these past few months, I've been with you. We've talked, we've done things together. You are what's real to me. I love the 'You' that's with me now. Whatever happened to you before doesn't matter to me. I was just [playing a game], Monika, and if you felt that they weren't real, then how much more is that to me who never encountered them as anything more than sprites on a screen?
"The Monika from the Literature Club is different from the Monika of this Isekai Smartphone. That's what I believe. You had no choice before. I'm not looking to give you your own body just so we can do better sexytimes... you're free now, my love. You are your own person now. Right here. This isn't some dating sim anymore. This is something genuine." I touched the shell of the smartphone.
This might not be paradise, but although she could not yet find closure we could at least build something new. "You have me. Come experience this Delightful Other World with me."
Monika stared at me. Then she looked away and said with a small sigh /"But that just means that when I become a monster again… that's all on me. I'm not scripted to do anything. I took advantage of Linze's blind faith in me, why aren't you mad about that? You're all trusting me too much."/
I smiled gently. "We're all monsters." (2)
Then we heard someone screaming for help. The guiding line we were following abruptly turned red. Monsters don't help. So we rushed ahead, trusting [The World] to have a reason for this thing too.
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"Waaaahhh!" we heard a frightened cry from behind a property wall. Followed by a guttural roar.
"Adventurers! Where are you going?!" someone yelled.
"Sorry old man! We don't even have weapons, this was supposed to be a demolitions job! Come on, just run for it!"
"Damn it! You cowards! You… you have the right idea! Everybody g- gaaah!"
"Boss!"
"Agh! My leg! I'm done for! Run, you fools!"
I [Jet Bootsu]'ed over the wall to see the back yard of old run-down mansion. Workers were fleeing, but one of them was left behind – his leg bleeding from a cut. Black smoke wafted out of an empty suit of armor that still walked and carried an axe.
"Gwaaaaargghhh…." a moan came out of a mouthless helm.
Unlike the Dullahan from the Old Capital, this one was a much smaller and more human-sized set of plate. And it had a helmet. Almost immediately as I crested the top of the boundary wall, the Living Armor turned its head all the way around to stare at me. Creepy.
Even as it raised its axe to finish off the foreman of the demolition crew.
Shite, can't use [Shining Javelin], it would overpenetrate and kill the civilian.
THOOM.
A bolt of [Lightning] leapt out of my two outstretched fingers and blasted the axe right out of its metal hands. If Fireball Lightning isn't solving your problems, clearly you're not using enough of it!
I landed with a soft thump, and swung my other arm around. Now it was the time to shoot off the [Shining Javelin]!
FSSHRANK.
The lance of hot yellow-gold holy light punched through the Living Armor, dissipating its miasma, and out the back. And then through the clearing into the mansion's outer walls. Then through the inner walls separating rooms. Then out through the structural walls in the other side.
Then it kept going to punch through the perimeter walls of the estate.
And then it exploded.
"What the heck was that?!" someone screamed in the distance. "That almost killed me holy shit!"
Oops. I still had that problem with drastically overcharging native spells. If anything, it seems to be getting worse?
The now truly empty suit of armor fell down in pieces. I made my way over to the wounded man and started to tend to the axe bite on his leg. "So, what happened here?"
"Are... are you an adventurer?"
"Yep. Sure."
A little bit of the fear in the foreman's face faded away, replaced by a somewhat insolent gratefulness. "It was a gosh-dang Living Armor." He pointed to a storage building filled with old rusted weapons and equipment. "The adventurers I hired couldn't do anything – not that I blame 'em, daggers and shortswords ain't much good against armor with no one inside, you know? You really need some Light magic to deal with undead, and that's mighty rare to find outside a temple or already in a good adventuring party."
He sagged and tried to get up, but could only wince in pain. "I thank the gods you were around! You'll be paid for this, don't you worry."
I bent down to apply a hand glowing with healing magic to his split kneecap. "Happy to help, my good man. Strange to find a monster right here in the middle of the city. A form of undead, you say? How's that even possible?" Was I looking at some sort of secret cult activity?
The foreman nodded. "This place… it used to be the home of a kindly viscount. But all his wealth was stolen from him by a certain Count, and he and his entire family committed suicide in despair."
Ah. I see.
Clank. Clank.
I didn't even need to turn around to realize that dark mist was starting to come out of old dented empty suits of armor, pulling in greaves and gauntlets and all the other pieces. The dead viscount had quite a collection of old weapons and armor.
"Their entire family, you say?" I said idly.
"T-the hatred and regret! There can be more than one! If the Living Armor aren't exorcised, the lingering negative feelings could animate any loose armor even after one is destroyed!"
Clank. Clank. Sccrriiitch.
Still I refused to turn around and the foreman's expression staring past my shoulder was steadily rising in panic.
"What if we bring that corrupt Count over here… would it calm them down?"
"I-I'm afraid that's not possible. I heard he was executed just recently… for high treason, of all things, I heard," the foreman quailed as the Living Armors approached armed with old blunted and rusted but still lethal enough weaponry. There were at least eight of them, with more being assembled from spare suits.
"THAT F*CKER," Monika and I growled out at the same time (though she used the milder /'That toad!'/).
I breathed out "Count Balza."
"GRAAAAAGHH!" the Living Armors roared and charged as one.
Hurriedly I picked up the wounded foreman and legged it, stacked [Amplify] adding power and speed to my limbs.
"Sorry about this."
I jumped up on top of a perimeter wall, and the Living Armors crashed into it. And then through it. Their undeath – or possible this voodoo spirit undead monster magic – giving them power that they lacked in life. I wobbled in place, then began running for it.
With the Living Armors focused entirely on me, the other workers could now flee.
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/"Really Player, this is probably your fault. You're the monster candy."/
"That sounds legit." Wait, am I Aqua? (3)
/"Are you looking for a high place so we can just blast them with a [Multicast] [Shining Javelin]?"/
"Unfortunately, any other mansion is probably inhabited and we'd be putting the people inside at risk." I looked behind me at the Living Armor still chasing after me even as I ran over the tall boundary walls of the different estates. "Isn't that guy's corpse still hanging by the city gates?"
Seeing it hanging there upside down with preservation magic cast on it had abruptly reminded us that we were in a society that relished bloody executions. The greater the crime, the greater the sin, the worse the pain the criminal must face before being allowed to die. And to a noble, humiliation was often worse than death. Humiliation even after death was the worst of fates.
/"That's all the way across the river to the South Gate,"/ Monika literally pointed out. /"You can't just have them follow you along like Dick Dastardly trying to Catch That Pigeon."/
"Count Balza's dead! It's fine! You've been avenged!" I shouted down at the Living Armors.
"Graaaagh!" An axe was thrown at my face. I turned my head and watched it spin by.
"Could you stop saying that name?!" the foreman yelped. "L-living Armor are separate things to the dead that once produced those feelings in the first place. You can't explain things to the corpse of someone's past!"
Living Armor was a type of undead that usually formed in places of great death and regret. Battlefields and graveyards, for example. The fact that it could manifest here meant that placing a religious blessing to get rid of a curse or ill omens didn't really work that well. Consecration as a preventative measure didn't disperse curses and grudges until they finally manifest.
How fascinating. Strong emotions could remain as a cohesive force, perhaps imprinting itself onto magic. This world's magic DID have an emotional component after all. Well that explained why I was getting away with so much bullshittery, while at the same time more impressive that a civilization so long ago managed to Formalize magic to such an extent that it was largely plug and play across all the world.
I kept running along the walls until I found a particularly tall one hiding an ostentatious mansion on the other side. Slowly and carefully I helped the foreman sit down. He nervously clung onto the edge.
"You- you can't just leave me here!"
I stood straight up, completely unconcerned with the height or falling down as the Living Armor began to ram themselves against the wall hoping to knock us off. That just sent the heavily muscled worker yelping even more like a scared little girl and practically hugged the stone. I cracked my knuckles as I stared down at the armored undead.
"I can't just leave them here to rampage around. They're going to kill somebody, anybody, that happens to come out to check out what's with this racket."
/"[Multicast] [Shining Javelin] time?"/ Monika asked. /"The street is quite deserted. Wait. No. I'm sensing some horses… probably cavalry, heading here. They'll be here in about a minute or less."/
Needed to hurry this up, then.
Hmm. "Undead are weak to Light Magic, right?"
/"Yes? What are you thinking about? Trying to reduce collateral damage?"/
I raised a fist. And to those below I shouted "THIS HAND OF MINE GLOWS WITH AN AWESOME POWER."
/"Oh no."/
"ITS BURNING GRIP IS TELLING ME TO DEFEAT YOUUU!" I yelled I as I dived right into the middle of them. My white leather gloves burned with yellow fire. "[SHINIIIING FIIIIINGEERRR!]" (4)
/"But I'm not wearing an eyepatch!"/ Monika yelled at me from above. /"Nor do I have an uncanny resemblance to Lupin the Third! Find someone else to officiate this Gundam Fighto!"/ (5)
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Crunch.
An empty suit of armor slammed onto a far wall.
Royal Cavalry rounded the corner, and one of them had Yumina riding along. "Sir Zaaaah!" she shouted as she came into sight.
I stopped and waved from the middle of the street. "Oh. Hey."
"Behind you!" she cried out as the last Living Armor raised a broadsword high, ready to cut me in two. But it was an age-blunted sword, it would pulverize bone and sinew more than it would cut.
"Hang on, excuse me a mo'." I turned around and drove my fist into the chestplate of the last undead. Then its insides erupted with Light.
The Living Armor fell apart, the pieces of armor hissing where they lay on the ground.
That's just evaporating metal. Not screaming. Hopefully.
Then I turned back around and tried to wave again with my right arm. Which still had old half plate stuck onto it, my fist having punched clear through the old metal to out the other side.
"Uh. Could someone help me with this please?"
"Help! Could someone help me down?! Please! PLEASE!" the foreman's frightened howl came from above.
Yumina just stared at me and gave me that tight little smile that we were coming to identify as [INTERNAL SCREAMING INTENSIFIES].
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Yumina looked up at the foreman still stuck up on the wall. She sighed and took out her wand. "Please let me handle this, Sir Zah."
She pointed at the chief laborer and chanted "Blow, Wind – whirl up a cyclone, [Whirlwind]."
A small tornado lifted the injured man off the wall. "Wait!" the grizzled muscular man trying to hide his balding head beneath a green bandanna wailed out in distress. "I'm…! I'm not falling?"
"What's with this racket!" someone yelled out. "Don't you know whose domicile this is?! Filthy commoners, let me teach you a lesson!" A group of armed men led by someone in a black butler outfit came out of the nearby estate.
There was the rasp of steel on steel as several swords were drawn partly out of their scabbards. "This is Royal Business. Nothing to see here. Move along, citizen."
"Eeep!" the majordomo of the estate took in the sight of fully armored house troops and their warhorses, compared to his own guards clad in light brigandine and carrying mauls and hurriedly ran back in. He was quickly followed by the house guards, who wanted none of that. The main gates slammed and locked.
The foreman yelped as he finally was set down to the ground. "T-thank you, young lady."
"Watch your tone, cur!" one of the Royal guards hissed, drawing his sword out a little more. "You speak to Her Highness, the Crown Princess Yumina Ernea Belfast!"
"Eeek! Forgive me rudeness your Maje-agh!" He tried to kneel and bow, but forgot about about his shattered knee. He collapsed and moaned in pain.
I rushed to his side and put my glowing hands around his wound. "Don't worry. It's going to be all right." His eyes were wide with fear after having seen those shining hands literally just rip through undead and solid steel. I smiled. "Don't worry. Light magic heals and purifies. There's nothing to be scared of."
I cast "Come forth, Light – from the Goddess of Healing, [Mega Heal]." The standard Cure Heal only healed cuts and bruises, and did not regenerate lost blood. The more advanced version of the spell could reknit bone.
As the light faded, it showed whole skin again over a bared knee. I nodded with satisfaction.
"You all right now?"
"Y-yes. T-thank you."
Dude, don't blush and make this weird.
Monika, don't look at me like that. There's no such thing as a harem aura.
That would be TERRIFYING.
"Well. Sir Zah. Things seem fine now. Would you kindly please come with me now to the palace? It seems quite unsafe to be out and alone."
Unspoken was {'You clearly can't be trusted to stay out of trouble when by yourself.'}
I gave her a bland look that said {'I'm never alone'.}
She gave me back a look that said {'Lady Monika tolerates far too much from you'.}
I pointed to the guy and silently conveyed {'This dude would be dead if I wasn't around at this time, you know?'}
She shrugged as if to say {'Does a hero follow adventure, or does adventure come to a hero?'}
"Don't worry, Sir Zah. We will make sure that no one speaks of any unnecessary things," said Yumina.
Wait, what? Were we having two entirely different unsaid conversations here?!
The foreman quailed at her words, and the Princess gave him a kindly smile. For some reason that only terrified him more. Whoa whoa whoa, Royalty are scary after all.
"Okay! All right!" I shouted out while waving my arms around. "Let's just go. No one needs to get hurt."
Yumina tilted her head a little bit to the side like a little bird. "Of… course not?"
The foreman was hurried pushed out of the protective ring and commander to just forget about this favor. We turned around and started to head back to the castle. But rather than ride on the horses, we walked side by side while the Royal Guards completely surrounded us. There was no way to see inside the formation from the ground level.
"This… looks like I'm under arrest. Am I under arrest?"
Yumina flicked her long hair back in a very Elze-like gesture. "We wouldn't dare, Sir Zah."
There was a sound like cracking glass, and once again Monika appeared. She slid behind Yumina, and the princess flinched.
/"The difference between an arrest and being put into time out by your babysitter is a very fine line indeed,"/ whispered Monika. /"I appreciate this support, truly."/
Ahahahah.
Yumina didn't look as amused for some reason.
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"Sir Zah! Welcome, welcome!" the King greeted us big-heartedly. We were again in one of the little tea rooms in the palace.
I bowed. "You honor me with your invitation, Your Majesty. Your Grace." I bowed again to the side. Because the Duke was there too. Other officials were being sent out to invite the rest of the party to the palace. It was about time to meet and discuss the mission anyway.
The Duke got up and approached. He slapped at my shoulders and grinned. "So I hear you did a great service to this kingdom again. We have time. Tell me about it over a chessboard."
Seriously? "It was no trouble, really."
"You have unrealistic expectations. Even old rusted arms and armor with Living Armor could give trouble to normal people. One on one might not be such a problem, but a whole group of them? If they separated out, they could have gone into the more populated areas of the city before anyone realized anything was happening and caused great slaughter there among the defenseless citizenry."
Ahahaha. I laughed sheepishly at the praise. "Seriously, it's all right. I was in a position to help, so I did."
"Even so, such deeds deserve a proper reward!" said the King. Yumina nodded and sat down primly beside her father.
"So what did you break this time?" the Duke asked.
Ooh. Riight. Well that place was set to be demolished anyway, right? Well probably not the perimeter wall. I might need to pay for repairs to that.
Then the door behind us slammed open.
"ZAH PLAYA!" Court Magician Charlotte shouted into the room, completely unconcerned about offending the royal family within. "ZAH PLAYA VON CHARA! YOU HAVE MUCH TO EXPLAIN."
I winced. Yeeah. This is why I was dawdling. Yes, this was critical for my overall goal of getting Monika her own body, but I was also dreading this eventuality.
The Duke abruptly turned me around and used me as a shield. "Hah, I know better to stand between that and her prey. Miss Charlotte, here, do as you want!"
Charlotte lunged through the distance in a couple of smooth sweeping steps and grasped my face. She pulled me in closer until our noses were touching. She was a tall and beautiful woman, actually even a little bit taller than me. Her scent – that was not perfume, but the lingering smell of rose-oil candles from so much research after dark - was intoxicating.
"Tell me your secrets," she whispered into my mouth, and her pupils were pinprick yandere eyes.
"I need an adult."
"I AM AN ADULT!"
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AN:
I kinda want to write more from Yumina's POV, but she already has so many Interludes already... any more and she's going to start being the MC!
"I Confessed to The Hero but He Already Has a Yandere Harem, Tell Me How to Survive!"
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1) brandonsanderson com /sandersons-first-law/
2) qr . ae/TUvxsY
3) From Konosuba
4) youtube /watch?v=KXOCzB35kFY
5) youtube /watch?v=mlaTueJ2S2k