Chapter 55: Band Candy

Buffy kneels, elbows resting on a platform-style headstone, chin propped on her hands.

Giles paces and reads from a large book. ". . . and on that tragic day, an era came to its inevitable end." That's all there is. Are you ready?"

Buffy nods, "Hit me."

"Which of the following best expresses the theme of the passage? A: "violence breeds violence." B: "all things must end."" Giles says.

Buffy picks up a standardized test answer sheet from the headstone. Some filled-in bubbles. Some smudgy erasures.

"C –" Giles says.

"I'm putting "B". There hasn't been a "B" in forever." Buffy says.

Giles shakes his head, "This is the S.A.T.s, Buffy, not "connect-the-dots". Please pay attention. A low score could seriously harm your chances of getting into college."

"Oh, that takes the pressure right off." Buffy says.

"This isn't supposed to be easy, you know. It's a rite of passage." Giles says.

"Is it too late to join a tribe where they just pierce something, or cut something off?" Buffy asks.

Giles frowns, "Buffy, please. Concentrate."

Buffy suddenly jumps up, and flames out.

Giles frowns and looks around as Buffy flames in behind him kicking at a vampire. It staggers back. Buffy dives after it, and using her pencil, she stakes it. The vampire turns dusts.

"I wish you wouldn't do that." Giles says. "I never know where your going."

Buffy smiles, "Sorry. I thought you would prefer my doing that then trying to jump over you."

Giles nods, "Well thank you for the consideration."

Buffy looks at the pencil, "Dang broke my number two pencil. Sorry. We'll have to do this again some—"

Giles hands her a new pencil. "C: "all systems tend toward chaos"."

Buffy trudges to pick up her answer sheet off the ground. "I just know us and the undead are the only people in Sunnydale working at this hour."

The next day Buffy, Willow and Oz walk in the quad.

"And then I was getting chased by an improperly filled-in answer bubble yelling "none of the above"!" Buffy says.

Willow shakes her head, "Wow. I hope that wasn't one of your premonitions. Probably not."

"You know, Willow and I both took it last year. We could help you get ready. There's this whole trick to antonyms but . . ." Oz says before looking around and whispers, "this isn't the place."

"Oz is the highest scoring person ever to fail to graduate." Willow says.

"Isn't she cute when she's proud?" Buffy asks.

Oz nods, "She's always cute."

Xander and Cordelia walk over and fall in step beside them.

"We could work on it tonight." Willow says.

"Work on what tonight?" Xander asks.

"Oh god, are we killing something again?" Cordelia asks.

"Only my carefree spirit." Buffy says.

Oz nods, "Buffy S.A.T.-prep."

"Oz is helping. He's the highest scoring person—" Willow says.

"We know. We did the impressed thing already." Cordelia says.

Xander nods, "I hate they make us take that thing. It's totally fascist, and personally, I think it discriminates against the uninformed."

"Actually, I'm looking forward to it. I do well on standardized tests. What? I can't have layers?" Cordelia says.

They enter near the building near the cafeteria.

"So Buffy, study, tonight?" Willow asks.

Buffy nods, "Um . . . yes on the study, no on tonight. Putting in family-time. Prue's been like, drastic ever since I got back. And Giles is even worse. Between the two of them I'm supervised twenty-four seven. It's like living in the Real World house, only real."

They reach the cafeteria door and run into Principal Snyder, who is handing out cardboard boxes. Startled, they each take one.

Willow looks inside. "Chocolate bars. Lots of 'em!"

Principal Snyder, thank you! You weren't visited by the ghost of Christmas past by any chance?" Xander asks.

Snyder shakes his head, "It's band candy."

"Let's hear it for the band, huh? Very generous." Buffy says.

"You will sell it. To raise money for the marching band. They need new uniforms." Snyder says.

"Those tall fuzzy hats ain't cheap, huh?" Xander asks.

"But they go with everything." Oz says.

Buffy shakes her head, "Um, as much as I'm sure we all love the idea of going all Willy Loman ... we're not in the band."

"And if I had just handed you a trombone, that would be a problem, Halliwell. It's candy. Sell it." Snyder says before he stalkes off. They are left looking at their boxes of chocolate merchandise.

That afternoon at the Manor Piper if fixing dinner. Buffy is sitting at the table.

"You're not in the band." Piper says.

Buffy nods, "And yet."

"Buffy, what would I do with forty chocolate bars?" Piper asks.

"You could give them out at the club. Give them away with drinks. It's a marketing ploy you buy a drink get a cavity." Buffy says.

Piper sighs, "Twenty. And I'm only doing it because you suggested it. I mean it is your club."

"You're good, my sister." Buffy says.

Piper smiles, "I'm the best."

"Oh, I'm pretty sure the best sisters let their sisters drive." Buffy says playfully.

Piper sighs, "I'll talk to Prue again, okay. In the end it's her decision."

Buffy nods, "I took the class. And I watched all the filmstrips with the blood and the death and the corpses - I'm prepped! I don't understand why Prue won't let me…"

"Maybe it's because you failed the written test." Prue says from the doorway. "They wouldn't even let you take the road test."

Buffy nods, "That was a year ago. And I don't test well. She said, two days before the S.A.T.s."

"Tell you what Buffy. Pass your S.A.T.s and we'll see about you taking the written again." Prue says.

Buffy smiles, "Deal"

"Gotta go." Buffy says as she gets up.

"You're going out?" Prue asks.

Buffy nods, "Giles. Slay-study double feature. Could be late."

"Ok. As long as someone is with you." Prue says.

Buffy smiles, "Prue, you know me. I don't go out alone anymore when it comes to Slaying. I don't want to die on you all a fourth time."

Prue nods, "I know but we still worry especially when your not out there with us. And nothing's going to change that."

Buffy nods, "I know. And you know something I'm glad you guys worry. It tells me you care."

Later at the library Giles is tying a blindfold over Buffy's eyes. He accidentally pulls her hair.

"Ow!" Buffy says.

"Sorry." Giles says.

Buffy nods, "Why do I put up with this?"

Giles shakes his head, "Because it is your destiny and because I just bought twenty "cocorific" candy bars." He puts a ball into Buffy's hands.

"Okay, now you're just doing this to take funny pictures of me." Buffy says.

Giles nods, "I'm testing your awareness of an opponent's location during a fight in total darkness. You're to wait five seconds, then throw me the ball."

As Buffy talks, Giles circles around behind her. Buffy continues to talk to where he was. "You ran out of training ideas about a week ago, didn't you? Okay. Five, four, three-two-one." She turns away from Giles, and throws the ball - it clearly will miss Giles by a mile.

"Not so simple, is—" Giles says as the ball richochets and hits him in the head. "Ow. Ah. Well done."

Buffy takes off the blindfold. "Thanks." She heads for the door.

"Wait, you're not going? We have to patrol." Giles says.

"Can't. I told you, Prue's in hyperdrive. She wants me home tonight." Buffy says.

"Oh. But—" Giles says.

Buffy picks up her box of candy and hands it to Giles. "I know. She's out of control. Enjoy the candy!"

Later at the mansion Buffy, holding a grocery bag, lets herself in. She looks around. No Angel. She heads toward the courtyard.

Buffy enters the garden to find Angel shirtless, glistening with perspiration, and doing Tai Chi. She starts to speak, but then just watches. Finally, he turns, gracefully, part of the routine, and sees her.

"Buffy." Angel says.

Buffy smiles, "I didn't know you could do that."

Angel walks toward her. "I'm doing better . . ." He stumbles.

"Angel!" Buffy says as she grabs him and steadies him. She puts her arms around him and helps him back into the mansion. She helps Angel to a chair.

Suddenly, they are both aware of the contact. Ange moves away from Buffy. He looks at everything in the room except her. "It's late. How did you get away?"

"Easy. Started a fire in the prison laundry, rode out in the garbage truck." Buffy says.

"Oh." Angel says.

Buffy smiles, "Joking. No garbage. Smell me."

Now Angel's too close. He looks at her a moment, "How is . . . Scott?"

"Oh, Scott, Boyfriend Scott, actually he's not - He's fine." Buffy says as she hands him the grocery bag. "I brought more . . . for you. From the butcher's."

Angel takes the bag, removes a take-out soup container. Through the lid, the liquid inside is visibly red. "Thank you." He sets it aside awkwardly. Finally, he looks at her, really meeting her eyes. "You're being careful, right?"

"With Scott?" Buffy asks.

Angel shakes his head, "The slaying."

Buffy nods, "Oh, of course. Yeah, sure I am. I'm full of carefulness."

"I worry about you." Angel says.

Buffy nods, "Likewise."

"I'm getting stronger." Angel says.

Buffy nods, "Yeah. Soon you won't need me."

"That'll be better." Angel says.

"Yeah." Buffy says.

Later Buffy comes in through the front door to find Prue is standing in the foyer. Prue is unwrapping a band candy bar. "Hi. Sorry I'm late."

"Hello, Buffy." Giles says.

Buffy frowns and looks at Prue, "Hi. Um . . . you guys want to watch TV? I hear Nightline's very insightful."

"You lied to us, Buffy. And you made us into your alibis. That's playing us against each other and that's not fair." Prue says.

Giles nods, "I called Willow. You lied to her about your whereabouts also. We were all concerned." Prue holds out her candy bar toward Giles, offering. He breaks off a piece. "Thank you."

They both nibble.

"I'm sorry. It's just, I had to go—" Buffy says. She looks to Prue and mouths, 'Angel.'

Prue nods understanding, "Were you at the Bronze? I know you weren't at Payson's because I called Piper. What was happening there that was so important?"

Buffy nods understanding where Prue is going. She knows they will have to talk later. "Oh. Um . . . Bronze things. Things of Bronze."

"You're acting really immature, Buffy." Prue says.

Giles nods, "I know I'm not your parent, but I do have to look after you. Prue's right."

"Okay, so I'm acting like a child. Maybe that's 'cause you're both treating me like a child." Buffy says.

"Buffy!" Prue says.

Buffy shakes her head, "No. Listen. You're both scheduling me twenty-four hours a day, and between the two of you, that's . . . forty-eight hours, and I just want to make some decisions on my own."

"The last time you made a decision on your own you split." Prue says.

"And I took care of myself just fine. I don't need quite this much "active parenting", thank you very much." Buffy says.

"You can't really be trying to use this summer as a reason you should be trusted!" Prue says.

Buffy looks at Prue, she could have sworn they had settled the issues over what happened during the summer, "Prue, you gotta back off some! I don't need to be baby-sat."

"All right, come on. Let's not freak out." Giles says.

"Let's not what?" Buffy asks.

Giles nods, "I think you should go to bed. We're all tired."

"Prue, a moment please." Buffy says and motions upstairs.

Prue nods, "Excuse us."

Prue and Buffy walk upstairs and into Buffy's room as Buffy closes the door.

"Prue, what's going on? I thought we were past the stuff from last summer." Buffy says.

Prue sighs, "Well I did have to make it look good didn't I? You were with Angel?"

Buffy nods, "Yes."

"How is he?" Prue asks.

"Getting better. A few more days a week or two tops he should be able to do things himself." Buffy says.

Prue nods, "Then we tell the others."

Buffy nods, "Yeah. I just wish I could have found out why he was back though."

"I know so do I." Prue says. "But without Giles help we may not find out."

The next day in the science classroom. The students wait for the teacher. Buffy and Cordelia share a table. Xander and Willow have the table behind them.

"I heard there's this secret rule if a teacher is over ten minutes late, everyone can leave." Cordelia says.

"It's Giles' turn to lead study hall. He'll be here. He's allergic to late." Buffy says.

"The man is wrapped a little tight. I had this philosophy book out from the library for like a year and he made me pay the fine even though it was huge. I eventually had to return it, which was sad because it was perfect for starting conversations with college boys. Of course, that was B.X." Cordelia says.

"B.X.?" Buffy asks confused, "Oh, Before Xander. Clever."

Xander, eating a band candy bar, sits next to Willow. "I like chocolate. There's no bad here."

"You still have some left? I went to like four houses and they were gone. It was like trick-or-treating in reverse." Willow says.

"I know, they're selling like hot cakes. Which is ironic, 'cause the hot cakes really aren't moving." Xander says.

"We're raising a lot of money for the band." Willow says.

"Yeah. They're great. They march." Xander says.

"Like an army. With music instead of bullets and usually no one dies." Willow says.

"I can't believe this!" Cordelia says. "Where is Giles already? I'm bored and he's not here to give me credit for it."

Principal Snyder and an older teacher, Ms. Barton, are engaged in a whispered conversation in the classroom doorway.

Snyder is eating a band candy bar. "Look, the big pinhead librarian didn't show up and I don't want to do it. You do it."

"All right. Fine. I'll do it." Ms. Barton says and she moves to the front of the room, and Snyder heads out.

"Everyone expects me to do everything around here 'cause I'm the principal and it's not fair . . ." Snyder says as he leaves.

The students continue to chatter.

"Hey, hey!" Ms. Barton says as the students look up, startled. "Look, we're all stuck here, okay? So let's just sit quietly..." she lowers her voice. "And pretend to read or something until we're sure Commandant Snyder is gone, and then we're all out of here."

The students look at each other, happy and surprised.

"Anyone else want to marry Ms. Barton?" Xander asks.

"Get in line." Cordelia says.

Ms. Barton sets down her purse.

"I guess Giles isn't coming." Willow says.

Buffy nods, concerned, "I guess not."

Later that afternoon Buffy is at Giles' door. It's slightly ajar. Immediately on the alert, she pushes her way in silently and enters, crouching and tense, to find Giles going through a cabinet and Prue on the couch.

"Buffy!" Giles says.

"Oh!" Prue says.

Buffy relaxes. "Sorry. I was worried, Giles. You were a big not-there in study hall and after your lecture on me not ducking out and what is Prue doing here?"

"We had an opportunity for a, you might say, a summit meeting. It took priority over study hall. I called in." Giles says.

"Oh." Buffy says.

Prue nods, "We decided you made a good point last night, Buffy."

Buffy looks at Prue confused, "I did. Yes. And that was...?"

"About us over-scheduling you." Prue says.

"Pulling you in three directions, as it were . . . your home life, being Charmed and your duties as a slayer." Giles says.

Buffy shrugs deciding to go with it, "Oh. That was a good point."

Prue nods, "We're working out a coordinated schedule for you."

"It will be tight, but I think we can fit in all your responsibilities." Giles says.

"Sounds nice 'n' structured." Buffy says.

Prue comes over to Buffy. "We've got more work to do here, Buffy. Why don't you give us a little more time? Take the car. Giles can drive me home."

Sure enough, Prue is holding out her car keys.

"What? Excuse me, I meant: what?" Buffy says. This is so unlike Prue and she knows it.

"Keys. Take them." Prue says.

"Hey, you don't have to tell me twice. Well, you did. But . . . bye." Buffy says as she grabs the keys and heads for the door fast, before Prue can change her mind.

"Bye, Buffy. Drive careful." Prue says.

Buffy waves.

Later Buffy drives happily. Willow's in the passenger seat.

"Tell me again how it happened." Willow says.

"I told her I wanted to be treated more like a grown-up, and voila! Driviness." Buffy says as she takes a curve with enthusiasm and speed.

Willow braces herself with both hands. "Ooh."

"Also, I think Prue might've wanted me, you know, otherwhere. Giles and her are planning my future and I guess it's easier to live my life if I'm not actually there." Buffy says.

Willow nods, "You know you've got the parking brake on?"

"Uh-huh." Buffy says as she releases the parking break.

"Are you sure about Payson's? The S.A.T.s are tomorrow." Willow says.

Buffy nods, "I can study at the club. A little dancing, a little cross-multiplying. Hey, you know what we need?" She starts hitting radio buttons: rock, rap, country...

"Eyes on the road! Eyes on the road!" Willow says terrified.

Later at Payson's the joint is jumping: packed and very loud. Buffy enters as Willow follows, still shaky from the ride.

Dingoes Ate My Baby are playing and looks out at an unusually old audience. Older than the clubs normal audience of a mix of teens and 20 or 30 somethings. Oz waves at Willow and gives a little shrug. Everywhere they look, the patrons are adults: at the bar, on the dance floor. The teenagers in the place are reacting pretty much the same as Buffy and Willow - staring in confusion.

"Not a bad crowd." Buffy says.

A woman pushes past them. Buffy recognizes her as Ms. Barton. "Ms. Barton?"

Ms. Barton blinks owlishly at Buffy, trying to focus. "Buffy? Whoa."

"You okay, Ms. Barton?" Willow asks.

Ms. Barton nods, "I'm cool, Willow. Willow. That's a tree. You're a tree. Do they have nachos here, little tree?" She starts to laugh, a little out of control.

Buffy shakes her head, "I think maybe you need some fresh air."

"Okay." Ms. Barton says as she amiably drifts off toward the door. Buffy and Willow watch her go.

"Okay, this is not normal." Willow says. "Maybe that goes without saying."

"Hey, gang!"

Buffy and Willow turn, probably expecting to see Xander. Instead they see Principal Snyder.

"This place is fun city, huh?" Snyder asks.

Buffy frowns, "Principal Snyder?"

Snyder smiles, "Call me Snyder. Just a last name. Like Barbarino. Whoo! I'm stoked! Did you see Ms. Barton? I think she's wasted. I'm gonna put that on her next performance review because I'm the principal."

The music falters for a second. They turn and look at the stage as a shirtless pudgy adult dives off the stage, hooting and hollering. He is almost caught, but the out-of-shape men beneath him aren't up to it. He ends up on the floor, and gets to his feet slowly. A lot of the men are red-faced, sweaty, panting.

"I don't like this. They could have heart attacks." Willow says.

"Maybe there's a doctor here." Buffy says.

"Actually, that is my doctor. He's usually less . . . topless." Willow says.

"I got a commendation. For being principal. From the mayor. He shook my hand twice." Snyder says.

A clique of three middle-aged women scurry past, laughing and shrieking.

"Ooh. There's some foxy ladies here tonight!" Snyder says.

"Buffy, what's happening?" Willow asks.

Buffy shakes her head, "I don't know, but it's happening to a whole lotta grownups." She then spots Piper, who's dancing on top of the bar. All the guys are whistling and cheering. Piper pours a shot of alcohol in a guy's mouth. "Piper!"

(A/N Piper dancing on the bar is taken from the episode Coyote Piper.)

Willow looks towards the bar, "They're acting like a bunch of . . ."

"They're acting like a bunch of us." Buffy says. "Especially Piper."

"I don't act like this . . ." Willow says.

Moment later things are even wilder. The band has given up entirely. Oz stands with Buffy and Willow.

"Something's changing them." Buffy says.

"A spell?" Willow asks.

"They're teenagers. Sobering mirror to look into, huh?" Oz says.

"You've got great hair." Snyder says to Oz.

On stage a group of old guys cling to microphones and belt out Louie Louie. On the floor several adult couples are dirty dancing. One couple has given up on the dancing and stands on the dance floor, making out.

"It just gets more upsetting." Willow says.

Buffy nods, "No vampire or demon has ever been that scary. We've gotta go find out what's going on. This has Hellmouth or the Triad's fingerprints all over it. Be right back." She walks over to Piper and pulls her down from the bar, "Piper!"

Piper smiles, "Hey Buffy. Hey everyone it's Buffy."

"Piper close it down." Buffy says. "Send everyone home."

Piper frowns, "No way, Buffy."

Buffy shakes her head, "Piper listen to me. Your under a spell."

Piper smiles, "Really?"

Buffy nods, "Yes, really. So is all the other adults. Is Phoebe?"

Piper nods, "Yeah. Spoil sport didn't want to party."

Buffy looks past Piper, "Abby can I have the phone?"

Abby hands the phone to Buffy, "Sure thing Payson. Wow did you know you have great hair."

Buffy dials the phone, "Piper close the club, now."

Piper pouts and then nods.

"Halliwell Residence, Phoebe speaking." Phoebe says over the phone.

"Phoebe we got a situation. I need you to look in the book and see if there is anything that can make an adult act like their a teenager." Buffy says.

"Why what's going on?" Phoebe asks.

"Not sure but everyone at the club at least is acting like their teenagers. I'm getting Piper to close it down for the night, relunctantly since she is affected also." Buffy says.

"Okay." Phoebe says. "You got your cell?"

Buffy nods, "Yeah. Let me know if you find anything. I'm going to hit the streets and try and find out what's going on."

"Okay," Phoebe says.

Buffy hangs up the phone and walks behind the bar and flickers the lights getting everyone's attention. "The club is closing. Everyone who does not work here please exit the building."

There are several people saying boo but slowly everyone begins to leave.

Buffy looks to Abby, "Can you make sure all the staff gets home?"

Abby nods, "Sure Payson."

Buffy looks to Piper, "As soon as the staff leaves, lock up and go home. I got Phoebe researching this, okay."

"Sure Buffy." Piper says.

Buffy turns and heads for the door. Oz and Willow follow.

Snyder tags along. "Where are we going?"

They ignore him. At the door, Buffy passes an one of the bouncers eating a band candy bar. Buffy takes notice of this as she, Willow and Oz duck out the door.

"You guys aren't trying to ditch me, are you?" Snyder says as he scurries out after them.

Buffy, Willow and Oz get in Prue's car, Willow in the front seat next to Buffy. Buffy closes her door. She hasn't started the car yet.

"We should go find Giles, right? He'll figure out what's going on." Oz says.

Buffy nods, "Sure, except for all we know he's sweet sixteen again." She and Willow share a look - realizing what that could mean.

"He's with Prue at his place." Willow says.

Buffy starts the car. And Snyder opens the door and climbs in next to Oz.

"Hey, I said "wait up"!" Snyder says.

"Um . . . Snyder . . ." Oz says.

Buffy shakes her head, "No time. He's coming with us." She pulls out and the tires squeal.

"Whoa, Halliwell, you drive like a spaz." Snyder says.

Buffy slams on the brakes as two cars pass in front of her. She and the others watch them recede in the distance.

Snyder hoots, enjoying the competition. "This is great! Let's go do doughnuts on the football field."

"It'll be okay when we get to Giles'." Willow says trying to convince herself.

Oz nods, "Of course. I mean, even if he's sixteen, he's still Giles. Probably a pretty together guy."

"Yeah, well." Willow says.

"What?" Oz asks.

"Giles at sixteen. Less "together guy", more "bad magic, hates the world, ticking time-bomb guy"." Buffy says.

"Oh. Well then, I guess your cousin is in a lot of trouble." Oz says.

Buffy heads into an intersection. A speeding car goes right through the red light at the intersection. It's heading right for Buffy.

"Oh my god! Look out!" Willow says spotting the car.

Snyder yelps.

CRASH - The speeding car hits the driver's side of Prue's car, which is rocked by the impact - dented and thrown back.

Slowly, Buffy, Willow, Oz and Snyder get out of the car. The doors on the damaged side of the car shriek in protest when they open them. Oz gingerly flexes a bruised elbow. Buffy has a cut on her forehead. They look at the damaged car.

"Is anyone else all creeped out and trembly?" Willow asks.

Oz puts his arm around Willow protectively.

"Buffy, your cousin's gonna kill you." Snyder says.

Buffy looks around at the street. "Something's weird."

"Something's not?" Oz asks.

A gang of aging greasers loiters at the corner. A woman walks by. They whistle and catcall. She giggles.

"No grown ups. No one's protecting their houses, people out wandering around—" Buffy says.

"Defenseless." Willow says getting it.

An old man strolls by. He strips the candy bar out of Snyder's hand and takes off running.

"Hey! Give it!" Snyder says.

"So where are all the vampires? Soup's on, but no one's grabbing a spoon." Buffy says.

"Something's happening somewhere that's else." Oz says.

Buffy nods, "I'm guessing something pretty big."

"That guy took my candy!" Snyder says.

It's starting to add up. Buffy goes to Snyder. "What's with the candy? A curse?"

"A curse? I've got a curse?" Snyder says, scared.

Willow frowns, "Oh my god. Using candy for evil."

Oz nods, "My parents ate a ton."

"Yeah and it's probably my fault some of the patrons of Payson's are the way they are." Buffy says. "I sold Piper some of the candy to use in the club." She backs Snyder up against the car. She's in his face. "Who's behind the candy?"

Snyder shakes his head, "I don't know. It came to me through the school board, and if you knew that crowd..." He shudders.

"Where is it? Where would you go for more? Do you know?" Buffy asks as Snyder nods miserably. Buffy turns to Willow and Oz. "You two, get Xander and Cordelia, go to the library. Look it up. Keep in contact with Phoebe. She's at the manor looking through the Books."

Oz nods, "Candy, curses . . ."

Willow nods, "Disturbing second childhood. Got it. Is Phoebe?"

Buffy nods, "Phoebe's fine. Piper said she hadn't had any of the candy. Ratboy and I are going to the source." She pushes Snyder toward Prue's dented car. She quickly grabs a paper and pen from the glove compartment and writes down the license plate of the car that hit them.

Later at a warehouse

A man reaches in to a box, grabs a handful of candy bars and throws them to the waiting crowd of adults.

The adults jump and dive for the candy.

Buffy and Snyder get out of Prue's car. Snyder immediately goes over to get more candy. Buffy walks by a couple making out. She stops, looks back at them and sees… "Giles? Prue?!

"Go 'way. We're busy." Giles says as they keep kissing. Buffy grabs them each by an arm and pulls them away from the crowd.

"Hey!" Prue says.

"Prue—" Buffy says and then notices what Prue is wearing. "Where'd you get that coat? Never mind, listen to me—" Giles pulls roughly out of Buffy's grasp. He balls up his fists. "Okay, Giles. Think. You really want to fight me? Or you want to let me talk to Prue?

Giles backs down, but in the coolest possible way. He wanders a few steps away and lights a cigarette as if he were too cool to care.

Buffy looks at Prue searchingly. "Prue, look at me. Do you know who I am?"

Prue nods, "Of course. You're Buffy. They're giving away candy. Want some candy?"

Buffy shakes her head, "No. And you don't need any more either."

"I'm fine. I can have more if I want." Prue says.

Buffy frowns, "You're not fine. Prue your under a spell."

Prue frowns, "A spell?"

Buffy nods, "Yes. A spell. So was Piper. Someone put a spell on the candy."

Giles shakes his head, "For god's sake, leave Prue alone. She's not under no spell. Come on, Prue." He and Prue start to walk away.

Buffy tries one last shot. "Wait. Look for one sec. Your car. The dent the size of New Brunswick? I did that."

Prue looks toward the car. "Oh my god. What was I thinking when I bought the geek machine?"

Giles laughs.

Buffy takes the cigarette from his mouth and throws it on the ground. "Take her home."

"Hey. I'm the watcher. You have to do what I say. So bugger off." Giles says.

Buffy frowns, "Fine if you won't I will. And you know I can Giles."

Giles and Prue ignore Buffy and defiantly head to where the candy is being handed out.

Buffy hesitates, then, her jaw set, she marches behind them . . . She passes them . . . and without slowing down, she marches to the base of the loading platform and looks up at the two men handing out the candy. She reaches up, grabs one by the ankle, and pulls his foor out from under him. He falls over the edge, at Buffy's feet. He crumples and Buffy mounts the steps to the platform. Buffy is now facing the other man.

"Hey, what—" The man says and he drops his box of candy. She grabs him by the back of his coveralls, and tosses him over the edge of the loading platform, where he lands on the first guy, who crumples again. She throws the boxes of candy down on them, hard. Adults dive after the candy windfall.

Buffy spots Prue in the crowd. Buffy leans over, grabs Prue's arm, hauls her up the steps.

"Hey!" Prue says.

"What're you doing with her?" Giles asks.

Giles leaps to follow, Buffy drags Prue to the padlocked door leading into the warehouse. She kicks it open.

Snyder watches from the crowd. "Neat. Hey Brit-face, wait up." He scrambles after Giles.

Buffy pulls Prue into the warehouse, starts to close the door.

"Hold it!" Giles says as he pushes in after them, in the process letting Snyder in.

"It smells all chocolatey." Snyder says.

Buffy barricades the door from the inside with crates, the others look around. The production line is quiet. Open boxes of candy bars lie everywhere.

"Say. This is all right." Giles says.

Buffy steps away from the rest of the group, scans the room.

On the other side of the warehouse Ethan talks on a wall phone, facing the wall. "I've been out there. The town's wide open. You guys are good to go any time . . ." He looks up to see Buffy looking right at him."

"Ethan Rayne." Buffy says.

"You may want to hurry." Ethan says into the phone.

Giles, Prue and Snyder join Buffy . . . look at what she's looking at.

"Ethan?" Giles says.

Ethan has a choice: fight like a man or run like a bunny. He drops the phone and bolts. Buffy takes off after him.

"That's the guy from the costume shop?" Prue asks.

Giles simply nods as he takes off after Ethan also.

Prue takes off after Giles leaving Snyder by himself.

Ethan scampers. He zigzags through piles of boxes and wooden crates and tangles of machinery - they form a sort of high-walled maze. Buffy is right on his tail.

Ethan rounds a corner ahead of her.

Buffy sails around it . . . but he's gone.

After a moment, Giles thuds to a stop next to her, panting. "Where—" He has to stop to breathe.

"That's what smoking'll do to you." Buffy says.

Prue comes running up, "Where?"

"Prue can you try to astral project?" Buffy asks.

Prue nods and closes her eyes.

"Where'd the bastard go?" Giles asks.

Buffy walks slowly forward, between piles of wooden crates.

Prue astral projects in front of Buffy, "Seems the candy doesn't affect my astral form." She motions to the crate beside them.

Buffy nods and tears off the front panel of the crate.

Prue astral projects back into her body.

Ethan is curled inside the crate. He smiles at them sheepishly. "Look, a box full of farm-fresh chicken."

Buffy grabs Ethan by his collar, drags him out of the box, hauls him to his feet. "So, Ethan. What are we playing?" He says nothing. "We're pretty much into a 'talk or bleed' situation. Your call."

"I would like to point out that this wasn't my idea." Ethan says.

"Meaning?" Buffy asks.

"I'm subcontracting. It's Trick you want. I'm just helping him collect a tribute. For a demon." Ethan says.

"He's lying. Hit him!" Giles says.

Buffy shakes her head, "I don't think he is. And shut up."

"You're my slayer. Knock those capped teeth down his throat!" Giles says.

"I'm also Charmed and as much as I hate to say it Giles, Ethan is human." Buffy says as she gets between Giles and Ethan. "What demon?"

Ethan shakes his head, "I don't remember."

Buffy hits Ethan.

"'bout time." Giles says.

"Lurconis. Demon called Lurconis." Ethan says. "They wanted a way they could get the tribute away from people."

"So you're just diversion guy?" Buffy asks.

Ethan nods, "More than a diversion. They said the tribute was big. So big that people would never let them take it. People had to be out of it, and later on, when the candy wears off, they would blame themselves."

"Hence, Land of the Irresponsible. So where's Trick?" Buffy says.

Ethan shakes his head, "I don't know exactly. Delivering the tribute."

"Which brings us to the bonus-round question and believe me when I say a wrong answer will cost you all your points . . . what's the tribute?" Buffy says.

Moments later Buffy's on the phone. "Right. "Lurconis"."

"Lurconis. A demon. What's his deal?" Willow says.

"See if there's anything about a tribute." Buffy says.

"A tribute? Like what?" Willow asks.

"I don't know. My source is tapped out." Buffy says.

Ethan sits propped against a wall - he looks very tapped out.

Snyder grins down at Ethan. "She whupped you good, huh? Pow-ka-pow. I can do that, too. I took Tae Kwon Do at the Y." He does some bad fake Kung-Fu moves, in the course of which he turns away from Ethan.

"No, definitely a demon. A big one." Buffy says as she is turned away from Ethan. No one, in fact, is looking at Ethan.

Ethan notices a large piece of metal, lying on the warehouse floor. He grabs it. He moves past Giles, past Snyder. He raises it overhead, ready to clock Buffy when . . . Giles pulls out a gun he took off a cop and levels it at Ethan.

"I wouldn't." Giles says.

Buffy turns, sees Ethan towering over her. Almost casually, she hits him, knocking him out on her way over to Giles.

"Giles. I need you to give me the gun." Buffy says.

Reluctantly, Giles gives her the gun.

"Willow wants you. Real bad." Prue says before closing her eyes and astral projecting. "I'll be glad when that candy wears off."

Buffy takes the phone. "I know, so will I Prue." She speaks into the phone, "I'm here Willow."

"Oz just found it. The tribute to Lurconis is made every thirty years. It's a ritual feeding and this one's late, so it's probably, you know, a big meal." Willow says as Oz brings a book to Willow, and points grimly at the text. "Oh, and . . . oh . . . Lurconis eats babies."

Buffy drops the phone. "Come on." She herds Prue, Giles and Snyder toward the door when Ethan groans, semi-conscious.

"What about that man?" Prue asks.

Buffy looks around. "Look for something to tie him up.

"Um . . ." Prue says and she shyly pulls a cop's handcuffs out of the pocket of her stolen coat.

Buffy cuffs Ethan. "Never tell me. And I thought Phoebe was bad."

Later in the maternity ward of a hospital Buffy picks up a bracelet. It's not much bigger than her thumb.

Giles is talking to the inattentive nurse, who is now very upset. Prue and Snyder are with Buffy. They're all subdued by the idea of the missing babies.

"Something's going to eat those babies?" Prue says and starts to cry softly.

"I think that's so wrong." Snyder says, shaken.

Giles joins them. "She never even saw who took them. Lazy cow."

"I know who took them." Buffy says.

"So, let's go do something, right? Find the demon, slash and slay." Giles says.

"Is that what happens now?" Snyder asks.

"Yeah, if we knew where to go." Buffy says. She looks at the tiny hospital bracelet she holds.

"Hold on," Prue says and closes her eyes and astral projects back to the manor. "Phoebe?"

Phoebe comes running into the room, "Prue?"

"Demon Lurconis, anything?" Prue asks. "Like location?"

Phoebe leads Prue into the attic and flips through the Book. "How come your not well you know?"

"A teenager?" Prue asks and Phoebe nods, "My astral form is not affected by it. My actual body is."

Phoebe nods, "Ah here we go. Lurconis dwells beneath."

"What?" Prue asks.

Phoebe nods, "Check the sewers, It'll likely be beneath the city."

Prue nods, "There is a lot of sewers, Pheebs."

Phoebe nods, "I'll try scrying for it."

Prue nods, "Buffy has her cell once you have a location call us. I dread going back, I'll be glad when that spell wears off. How's Piper?"

Phoebe sighs, "Buffy was right to have her close the club. Piper would have lost money tonight."

Prue nods, "She was acting like a teenager also. Well I better get back." Prue astral projects back into her body.

"Well?" Buffy asks.

"Sewers, Pheebs said sewers." Prue says.

"Okay. The sewers." Buffy says.

Snyder smiles, "Good. You guys go there and do that thing with the demon. I'll stay here in case the babies, you know, find their way back."

"The babies must be so scared." Prue says she starts crying again.

"You filthy ponce. Afraid of a little demon." Giles says.

"If you want to go splash around in poo, you're the filthy one." Snyder says and gives Giles a shove.

Buffy steps between them. She has had it. "All right, everybody stop it! Listen to me. Prue, I need help. Okay? Giles? I need grown ups. These children are going to die and we have to think clearly and act now if we're gonna save them. There's no room for mistakes. Besides which, you guys are just wigging me out."

"Sorry." Giles says.

"We'll behave." Prue says as she slips her hand into Giles', the two of them resolved to help.

"Good. Snyder, go home." Buffy says.

"I can do that." Snyder says.

"Come on, one flame express coming up." Buffy says and then motions at Giles and Prue's hands. "And don't do that."

They walk into an emoty room and they flame out. Buffy flames in with Giles and Prue in the sewers. "Hi."

Robed guy 1 runs at Buffy. His hood falls back, revealing vamp-face. He grabs hold of her, throws her. She hits the baby-cart, making it roll. The baby baskets shake and teeter.

"Prue, babies!" Buffy says as she powers up a fireball.

Robed guy 2 attacks Giles. Giles knees him in the groin, follows it up with a head but.

Prue grabs for the cart and pulls it back out of the fighting.

Buffy throws the fireball at Robed Guy 1 and he dusts. She then powers up another fireball and throws it at Robed Guy 2, whom Giles has incapacitated. He dusts.

There is just one robed guy and Mr. Trick left. Buffy grabs Robed Guy 3 and throws him. He comes down near the T-junction. A rumbling sound echoes.

"What the hell's that?" Giles asks.

"Something tells me, Lurconis." Buffy says.

It gets louder, and in an instant, almost too fast to be seen, a slick, dark, non-human head, as tall as a man, snapps out of the joining tunnel, and devours robed guy 3. Just as fast, it disappears into the tunnel. The effect is like an eel, darting its head out of a coral cave to swallow something whole.

"Good God." Giles says.

Mr. Trick steps forward. "Ordinarily, I like other people to do my fighting, but I just have to see what you got."

"Just tell me when it hurts." Buffy says as she steps forward to square off with Mr. Trick, but Giles rashly pushes past her.

"Giles, no!" Buffy says.

Mr. Trick grabs Giles. Giles gets in a good solid kick, but Mr. Trick shakes it off. He grabs Giles. Then he throws him. Giles lands right at the T-junction . . . the entrance to the demon's tunnel. As Lurconis senses food on the dinner plate, the rumbling begins again.

"Giles! Get out of there!" Buffy says.

Giles tries, groggily, to stand. He staggers.

The rumbling gets louder gets louder. Buffy looks around, searching for inspiration. She looks up at the exposed gas pipes. She jumps up. Hangs on one. It breaks free, gas out. She powers up a fireball and throws it at the end of the gas pipe and ignites the gas.

Giles dives to one side and she aims the flame into the sewer pipe just as Lurconis' slimy head darts out. The flame catches it full in the face. Lurconis is on fire. It pulls back as it screams.

Victorious, Buffy lets herself drop to the ground. She hears something overhead and looks up to see Mr. Trick, looking down at her through the open manhole cover.

"You and me, girl. There's high times ahead." Mr. Trick says before he heads out the manhole.

"They never just leave. They always gotta say something . . ." Buffy says. She turns around to see Prue and the baby-cart standing to one side, out of danger. Giles heads for Prue's side. Buffy hurries over and stands between them.

"Can we go home now?" Prue asks.

Buffy nods, "Yeah. Let's go home. I've got the S.A.T.s tomorrow."

"Oh, blow them off. I'll write you a note." Prue says.

Buffy looks tempted for a second, "No. That's okay."

A couple days later Buffy walks with Giles in front of the school.

"It was just too much to deal with. It's like nothing made sense anymore. The things I thought I understood were . . . gone. I felt so alone." Buffy says.

"Was that the math or the verbal?" Giles asks.

"Mostly the math." Buffy says.

Giles nods, "Well, if you didn't score well, you can take them again."

"More S.A.T.s. Great. Is there really a point? I could die before I even apply to college." Buffy says.

Giles shakes his head, "If there is one thing that you being Charmed has taught me. You very probably will not."

"Well, let's keep hope alive . . ." Buffy says.

They reach Prue, who stands in front of her car.

"Hello. Dear me, it certainly looks like your car had an adventure, doesn't it?" Giles asks.

Prue nods, "Buffy assures me it happened while in the pursuit of her Slayer duties. She got me the guys license plate number anyways as she said it wasn't her fault that he ran a red light."

Buffy nods, "Besides I offered to pay for it out of my allowance. Just in case the insurance wants to make a big deal out of it."

Prue nods, "True. You were careful though, at least that's what you said. And the only accident was another person's fault. I've been thinking Buffy maybe it's time for you to retake the written test. Get your learners permit and then teach you to drive."

"Really?" Buffy asks.

Prue smiles, "Really."