Dudley spent the night in the hospital wing. Hermione did too, even though there wasn't anything really wrong with her other than some bruises from Nott's bludgeoning hex. When he woke up the next morning, he was greeted by Luna, who was already awake.
"Feel better?" she said, cheerfully.
Dudley groaned. He should have known that Luna Lovegood would be one of those annoyingly cheerful people in the morning.
"Yeah," he said, sitting upright.
Luna was eating a slice of watermelon.
Hermione, much to his amusement, was still asleep and was snoring.
Dudley tossed one of his pillows at her and she sat up with a start.
"What's happening?" she asked, blinking.
"It's morning," Dudley said.
"So, why did you have to wake me?"
"Because I was awake," Dudley replied. "Look, Pomfry has brought watermelon." He reached over the plate of fruit and grabbed a slice for himself and for Hermione.
"It's sad what happened to Professor Lupin," Luna said. "He was a good professor. We all liked him. Daddy said he was a werewolf all along, and that Professor Snape is a vampire. I wonder what he'll be now he's bitten."
Dudley looked at Hermione. She looked sad.
"It's not our fault," Dudley said. "We tried—it's that git Nott."
"I suppose … but think what happened. Black got the kiss …"
"Good riddance," Dudley said, taking a bite of watermelon.
"… Lupin killed and Snape bitten."
"It was tough," Dudley admitted.
"It was a good idea of yours to use fire, Luna," Hermione said.
Luna smiled. "Yes, well, I know Dementors like damp, dark places—so I thought fire would be our best chance. I'd like to learn that charm Professor Snape used, though," she said. "Professor Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall could use it too."
"The patronus," Hermione said. "I read about it, but it's NEWT level—even many adult wizards can't cast it."
"I wonder if everybody's looks different?" Luna said. "Professor Snape's was a doe …"
"Weird, I'd have thought a bat or a snake," Dudley commented.
"Professor McGonagall's was a cat …" continued Luna.
"Because she can turn into one," said Dudley.
"And Professor Dumbledore's was a phoenix," Luna said.
"He has a pet one," Dudley said. "In his office."
"Don't forget Lupin," Hermione commented. "His was a wolf."
"For obvious reasons," said Dudley.
"I wonder what mine would be?" said Luna.
They were silent for a few seconds. "I think a unicorn," Dudley said, finally.
"That would be very nice," Luna said, beaming at him.
"Why do you think that, Dudley?" Hermione asked. She had a shrewd expression on her face.
"Dunno," Dudley said, blushing, though he didn't know why. "Yours'd be an owl, I think. Because they're wise, aren't they."
Hermione laughed. "Never expected you to be such a charmer, Dud."
Dudley blushed even harder. "Do you think they'll let us go today?" he said, abrubtly changing the subject. Luna and Hermione laughed.
Madame Pomfrey did let them go, half an hour later. Dudley and Hermione said goodbye to Luna, who was perfectly fine now, and headed to the Gryffindor tower.
"Stink pellets," Dudley said to the Fat Lady, who swung open to let them in.
What looked like most of the house were gathered in the common room.
"Dud, Hermione! You're ok!" It was Dean. He, Ron and Neville had darted forward to greet them.
"What happened, mate? Some of the ghosts said …" Dean said, giving Dudley a hug.
"I'll tell you in a minute," Dudley said, surprised.
"Everyone's waiting to hear," Ron said, clapping Dudley on the shoulder. He had just finished hugging Hermione, who was looking very embarrassed.
"Glad you're ok," Neville said, offering his hand. Dudley grasped it and gripped Neville's shoulder.
"Cheers," he said.
"Do we need to get you lot a room?" Fred asked. The other Gryffindors laughed.
"We can wait," George added. "give you all half an hour."
"Shut up!" Ginny elbowed her brother in the ribs.
Dudley and Hermione sat down and were immediately bombarded with questions. Rumors had been flying about what had happened—some true, some false.
They all knew that Sirius Black had been caught and had received the Dementor's kiss. "The Minister is at Hogwarts with some Aurors," Fred said. "We saw them at breakfast,"
They also knew that something had happened between Nott and Dudley though none knew the facts. According to the other Grynffindors, rumors were that Nott haf beaten Dudley in a boxing match, Nott had used Avada Kedavra on Dudley and he was dead, Dudley was at Saint Mungo's with a cabbage for a head, Nott had kidnapped Hermione and more.
'Well, I can confirm I'm not dead," Dudley said, drawing laughter from the others.
"I don't want to talk about it, but he ambushed me and Hermione, he used a spell on me …"
"Crucio," Hermione said, in a whisper.
Gasps from the older students greeted this word.
"Crucio?" repeated Lee Jordan, his eyes wide. "But that's an unforgiveable curse, that is."
"I hope the Ministry are going to take swift action," Percy chimed in. "Despicable—using such a spell on somebody. Why, if I were Minister …"
But what Percy would do if he were the Minister, nobody found out as at that moment, Professor McGonagall entered the common room.
"Dursley, Granger—the Minister of Magic wants a word," she said.
"Fudge?" Dudley said.
"I would call him Minister or Mr. Fudge," McGonagall said with a slight smile. "If you'll follow me …"
Fudge was waiting for them in a small, well-furnished room near the staff room.
"Ah, Dudley, and this must be Hermione, come in, come in. I hope you're well?" Fudge was a portly man in pinstriped robes with a lime green hat which, at the moment, was placed on the arm of his chair.
"Terrible events last night, terrible. I'm delighted to see you came through it unscathed …"
Once again, Dudley and Hermione found themselves telling the events of the night to Fudge. Unlike Dumbledore, he didn't listen silently and often interrupted to ask questions or for clarification. When they got to the Dementors he gasped.
"Never thought they would dare attack students, disgraceful. I have sent them back to Azkaban, of course," he said, before they continued with their story.
He had frowned when they came to Dumbledore's plan to use the time turner in an attempt to save Lupin and stop Snape from getting bitten.
"That was extremely dangerous and foolish!" he exclaimed. "A blatant breach of Ministry guidelines for the use of Time Turners. I will be having words about this."
When they finished the story, Fudge looked thoughtful. "It is a shame about Black. He was going to receive the Dementor's kiss after being caught anyway, but I would have liked to have questioned him first—find out how exactly he escaped from Azkaban. He really didn't say?"
Dudley shook his head.
"Not to worry, we've tightened security now, there won't be another escape again, mark my words."
After they had said their goodbyes to Cornelius Fudge, Dudley and Hermione returned to the common room again. While Hermione went to join their friends, Dudley headed to Fred and George, there was something he wanted to check.
"What is it, Dud?" Fred asked, after Dudley had led them to a deserted corner.
"When did Lupin get the Marauder's Map?"
Fred and George looked at each other. "Two weeks ago," Fred said. "We were planning a prank on Snape …"
"… which involved sabotaging some of his potions supplies," Georg said. "Only Lupin was on patrol and caught us. We wiped it though, why?"
"He used it last night—it's how he knew where we were?"
"He knew hot to use the Marauder's Map?" George said in shock. "I thought only me and George did."
"And The Marauder's themselves," Fred added. "I wonder if he owned it at some point."
No sooner had Dudley sat down with his friends, when an owl arrived at the window to Gryffindor tower.
Dudley recognized it immediately as being Lockhart's. He let it in and removed the letter.
"What's that prat have to say?" Ron asked. "Gonna try and claim credit for catching Black?"
"Given you another signed photo?" Dean asked.
"Shush!" Hermione said, irritably. "Lockhart's alright. He's helped us a lot."
Dudley ignored the teasing and bickering and read the letter.
My friend, Dudley,
I heard all about the events of last night! Sirius Black on Hogwarts grounds! I thought as much. If only I had the time to station myself at the school, he would never have dare to break onto the grounds and attack you. Still—it seems you managed to fight him off! Putting the skills I have been teaching you to good work, I see!
I was fascinated to hear about your duel with the Dementors, Reeter Skeeter writes that you fought them off with fire spells—a unique approach. Following in my footsteps in thinking outside the box I see! Most wizards would have used the Patronus charm. But there's no doubt fire worked too—very interesting …
"It didn't work that well," Hermione said, she was reading over Dudley's shoulder. "It didn't seem to hurt them."
"It kept them off us though," Dudley said.
"Yes, it was a very good idea of Luna's,"
Dudley carried on reading.
The report in a prophet made for an excellent read! You should consider writing a book about your adventures, Dudley. I can recommend a very good agent and will even write a foreword for you. Though, at this stage, it may seem a tad conceited. You are still at school after all.
Still, the star that is Dudley Dursley continues to shine bright, and with my guidance will shine brighter still! This is going to make you more famous, mark my words—capturing Black! I need to up my game. I caught Abaddon Nott, remember, but I now have my sights firmly set on bringing Lucius Malfoy to justice too! Perhaps I will write a book once that happens—Dances with Death Eater, or Duelling with Death Eaters—detailing my capture of dark wizards. Shame you managed to beat me to Black! That would have been a mighty fine feather in my cap! Just don't beat me to the Witch Weekly Most-Charming Smile Award!
Your friend
Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin 2nd Class, Order of Merlin 3rd Class, Former Professor of Defence Against the Dark Arts at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardly, Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defence League, The Journal of Defensive and Offensive Magic's Man of the Year 1993 and Six-Time Winner of Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile Award
P.S
I was made the Journal of Defensive and Offensive Magic's Man of the Year for 1993—no doubt because of my capture of Abaddon Nott. It is the foremost publication on dueling and dueling spells. Well worth a read!