AN: Yumina is pulling a coup! Yumina is the new MC!

Yumina Interrupt

-.

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I woke up feeling much had changed in the world.

I woke up instantly. It was strange, but one of the few personal qualities I was proud of. Most people had a span of time of drowsiness and disorientation before they realized they were no longer dreaming. Many people would like to stay in blissful slumber for longer, refusing to get up from the comfy warmth of their bed. But for me, that had never been a problem. Once you are fully awake, staying in bed would just be lazy and boring.

Sir Zah saw me go from sleeping to wide awake once, eyes closed to eyes wide open, and murmured "Holy shite that's creepy. Like Bela Lugosi waking up as a vampire creepy."

So now of course I was intent on doing it as much as possible. Being able to go maximum awareness instantly was very good for not getting yourself assassinated, and I was given to understand that soldiers in the battlefield had this sort of skill to sleep whenever they could get it and go combat ready at a moment's notice.

This was not something I was born with. It had nothing to do with being a princess. I was secretly proud of being able to willpower my way into instant wakefulness.

I got up and considered my duties. There were protocols. If Sir Zah and Lady Monika were out of sight for more than two hours, all command immediately transferred to me, and I was granted all required authority to maintain the mission integrity of the party and the fulfillment of the primary objective.

First order of business however was to attempt to reconnect with the command structure. I took out the 'bluetooth earbud' that was entrusted to me. The white material it was made of was not quite like ivory, was it truly the tooth of some blue creature? It had a more pearl-like smoothness to it, but a lack of weight more like soft wood.

I put the earbud inside my right ear and tapped it until I heard a strange crackle. "This is Princess in Yellow to Just Monika. Repeat: This is Princess in Yellow to Just Monika. Requesting orders. Do you read? Over."

Even Sir Zah would often say: 'Report, consult, and inform, are the fundamentals of business.'

After a while, there was another crackling noise, and I heard a throaty giggle. /"Wait, stop- something just connected on Bluetooth. Oh, it's Yumina. She's awake."/

"Nyamnyamnyamnyam."

/"Mhrrrmmhhh! I said s-stop! Yumina! We're a bit busy right now. If we don't get back in time for the meeting, take part as our representative."/

"I understand." While Sir Zah and Lady Monika were formally just adventurers, their ability to [Boom Tube] armies to anywhere made them such a strategic asset. With such unsurpassed strategic mobility, even if Regulus might have ten times as many men, it was possible to defeat them in detail, preventing enemy forces from combining. "If there are talks of compensation though, I don't know what would be acceptable. I presume that we should just leave that for later?"

/"YES! Um. I mean… yes. Do that."/

And then I heard a voice from a distance shout "YOU LICENTIOUS MUGSSS! YOU BROUGHT ME ALL THE WAY HERE AND AFTER CHALLENGING ALL THESE DRAGONS YOU JUST SIT THERE?! STOP TRYING TO DISTRACT ME AND HELP ME FIIIGHT!"

And Sir Zah shouted back "REMEMBER THAT THE BEAUTY OF IT IS AS IMPORTANT AS POWER. BECOME THE STRONGEST!"(1)

/"Player, don't get distracted. Down, boy."/

"Mghf."

/"Mmm. Good boy."/

I sighed. Sir Zah was probably doing something stupid again. All right. I heard the click of ceased communications. I got up and raised my fist.

Yosh.

All right then, this Princess has a job to do like a sane well-adjusted contributing member of society!

-.

-.

Morning came. Servants knocked at doors to aske if they wanted to have breakfast. I went over next door to Miss Linze and Elze's room to more personally see to their needs as de facto team leader (though with Miss Elze's veto). I heard a sound like a dying cat.

"Linzeee… I love you, you know that?"

"Umm, sis – this isn't right...?"

"I can't stop it any more. If you have any love for me, any at all… do this for me."

"T-that's crazy talk, sis. Please! Come to your senses!"

I opened the door to see Miss Elze pinning Miss Linze down on the bed.

"KILL MEEEE," Miss Elze moaned. She clutched Miss Linze's waist and bawled into her lap. "Kill me or kill Playa, I don't care! Avenge meeeeh!"

I sighed softly. Truly, alcohol was mankind's oldest betrayer. Sure, father and many other drinkers say that alcohol was man's oldest friend… but really this just proved that mankind's base nature was stupid. Not evilness, just... self-harming stupidity.

"Sis? How are you feeling? On a scale of one to ten, what is your pain level?"

"On a scale of ELEVEN, (WHY AM I SO STUPID) TWELVE, (I KNEW PLAYA WAS FULL OF BAD IDEAS), THIRTEEN, (WHY DID I EVEN LISTEN) … this is FIFTEEN, (HEAL ME NOW OR I WILL CRUSH HIS BALLS)."

Miss Linze nodded quickly, actually bothered by the threat. She used the experimental sobering magic, and soon enough Miss Elze let out a happy sound of relief.

"Wooh. My head feels nice and cool…" Miss Elze whispered as her sister put her fingers on either side of her temples.

"This is a generic anti-migraine magic too. It's mostly just a topical painkiller, the flushing of toxins will happen later. You're still going to need plenty of fluids, maybe fruit juice."

"I'mma still kill Playa later…" Miss Elze moaned some more. Miss Linze giggled.

"Hang on a minute," I asked. "I just realized- I remember you once told me that Sir Zah bought you anti-poison magic rings. Why doesn't that magic work against drunkenness?"

Miss Linze stared at me quizzically. "You're the one that actually went to magic school, Miss Yumina. Why do you think it doesn't work like that?"

"I don't have healing magic though? I do understand the medical theory, but you're the ones breaking new grounds in the field."

While I recall that Sue was Sir Zah and Lady Monika's favorite to inherit all their knowledge about magical healing, in practice it was Miss Linze that would know all those spells first and judge them for practicality. Ah, what a position of extreme trust!

My own magic was [Dark] magic, only good for summoning other being to fight in my stead or for laying down curses. It was a very cowardly way of magic, I really envied those who were blessed with the purity and respectability of [Light] magic.

Miss Linze tilted her head to the side and looked thoughtful for a moment. She stroked her sister's hair contemplatively, as if Miss Elze was a lap cat. "I suppose… it's because magic spells like that, according to Miss Monika, works by making the impossible possible. The magic spells we're researching work using naturalistic processes. Alcohol itself isn't considered as a poison, so that sort of magic lets it pass. On the other hand, detoxification magic is also much more specific. It works against drunkenness and drunkenness only, harmful toxins produced by the own body."

It was odd how much of magic was about semantics. "I see." I looked upon Miss Elze lying down on her sister's lap, looking at peace. Perhaps too much at peace. She had on a foolish grin and her leg was kicking slightly like she was a dreaming puppy.

This topical painkiller was suspicious. (2)

"Wait a moment. Isn't Miss Elze supposed to be the control group?" She was not supposed to benefit from anti-drunkenness magic at all. So her feeling the full pain of a hangover was just expected.

Then we heard a girlish screaming from next door. That was Miss Yae's room!

Miss Elze rolled off the bed and landed on the floor. Face-first. "Bu-geh!" she yelped.

We rushed out. Miss Elze ran onto the half-open door. The door was ripped off its hinges as she was stopped for a moment, looked confused, then angrily attacked it with her face.

We found guards out in the hallway. They reached for their weapons in surprise, then very quickly moved their hands away. They raised and showed their open palms, affirming that they were not being aggressive against royal guests and young ladies at that.

"What is happening here?" I asked.

"Milady, one of the maids reported that she had found a dead body…" one of the guards said.

"Yae!" Miss Elze exclaimed. She blinked, and her gaze went from a pleasant haze and into full battle-reflex mode.

"But it was not a dead body!" he hurriedly added.

I scowled minutely and went ahead to enter Miss Yae's room. Miss Elze and Linze followed after me, and then the guard leader. I gasped in alarm at the sight inside.

The guard looked up to see their fellow stuck neck-up *into* the ceiling and breathed out "R-ralps! Are you alive?"

The embedded guard made a thumbs-up gesture.

Beyond the sight, Yae was sitting on the floor, her back against the bed. Her eyes were staring at nothing. Her entire front was stained a grisly red.

The guard leader flicked his wolf ears and bowed towards Yae. "Milady, you are a guest of His Beastliness, and so we can only ask for you pardon if our comrade has offended you somehow."

"He was blinking too hard," Yae replied dully.

The guard winced.

Ralps wiggled his hands in a 'what can you do?' gesture. They were beastkin, and beastkin were known for having strong passions and forthright demeanor. Worse, they lived in the palace with the Beastking. They were well used to… drunk-ass shenanigans like this.

"Is that blood?" I asked Miss Yae about the stains on her sleeping clothes. Then I looked to the left and found a basket of tomatoes.

Miss Yae had drunkenly raided the kitchens last night, hauled off all the tomatoes she could find, and tried to hide even more in her robes. Then she fell flat on her face once she arrived in her room, squished all the tomatoes under her bosom, and passed out.

Once more I resolved never to allow myself to lose my reason for such mere reasons as alcohol.

Then I realized with sudden dread, remembering the lightshow last night – what sort of drunk-ass shenanigans did Sir Zah inflict upon Mismede last night?

Wait. Just a few minutes ago. He went out to challenge the dragons.

All the dragons.

Wait that's bad.

Briefly I had a vision of dragons rampaging all across Mismede, burning village after village in insulted reprisal, before darkening the skies over the capital.

I felt faint…

Then I clenched my fists and forced myself to stand up straight. No. No way.

I will fight always for the rational world!

I sniffed haughtily and turned around. "Miss Elze, Miss Linze, Miss Yae… why don't we have breakfast first?"

Everything will all be just fine after some good breakfast tea.

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There was no need to panic.

Here is the logic: Sir Zah may be powerful, impulsive, and his whims have vast potential for wide-ranging consequences on a strategic scale. This is even worse when he is drunk out of his gourd.

But Lady Monika is a spirit. She /cannot/ get drunk.

Therefore: as Sir Zah's minder she would only allow Sir Zah to do things to the point that it shouldn't imperil him or the things he cares about. If she did not have a plan that they could WIN against all dragonkind, she would not have allowed Sir Zah to risk himself. She might be cold-blooded enough to only pretend to care about Belfast and its people… or at least the people in it that Sir Zah likes… but that sort of impossibly unreasonable love she has, that is something I can trust.

So now the only concern left to me: Should I inform King Jamuka to prepare for mass evacuation just in case?

Well of course I should. That's the responsible thing to do.

"I apologize for raising this issue with you, Your Beastliness, before even breakfast, but it it is vital so that we can make preparations if necessary. Sir Zah, in his drunken bender, has gone off to pick a fight with all dragonkind at the Dragon's Sanctuary."

"HOW DARE HE?!" the Beast King roared.

I grimaced and bowed my head. "I have no excuses, only my deepest apologies – even my status as a Princess of Belfast has limited ability to control Sir Zah, but perhaps we should not have left alone a drunk perso-"

"THAT IS TOO EXCITING! HE SHOULD HAVE TAKEN ME WITH HIM! THIS IS A TRAVESTY."

"… So that is what bothers you instead? Huh." I exhaled roughly and looked up. "Are you not afraid dragons would end up rampaging across Mismede at this rate?"

The King shrugged. "Last night, Zah Boyo seemed like was fighting Matriarch Leene of the Fairy Tribe-"

Ugggh. "I did hear something about a third person to that effect, yes."

"And, Matriarch Leene's older than Mismede as a nation, you know? She's killed dragons before. The dragons know her from hundreds of years ago, if they're fighting over there… I don't think it will spill out. They got it handled." The Beast King hunched over and sobbed into his bracers. "They get to have all the funnn, it's not fair! Not fair at all! I'm stuck here dealing with boring kingly things!"

He began pounding the table in despair. The utter freedom to punch dragons in the face whenever someone wishes has driven him to despair!

Is… is it fine for a kingdom to work like this?

More and more I found my thoughts about HOW a Kingdom should be run, and how if I were in charge I would have to make sure there was a minimum of tomfoolery and maximize good outcomes.

I leaped towards Sir Zah to make him my husband because I had this powerful feeling that only with him could I achieve the freedom I sought. I was right. Though we are not engaged, traveling with him has given me a glimpse into the life of total unbridled freedom… and so now I find myself cleaving more towards duty. Too much freedom is bad, now I have come to much greater appreciate noblesse oblige, those who have power also have responsibility in exchange for their privilege.

Abandoning privilege does not make things right, it leaves those who depend upon them bereft of guidance and their defender against those of similar status who have far less compunctions about abusing the weak and sating their own dark desires, all the while feeling superior and justified about it all.

Ah. What irony. Love was a powerful motivator, I know. And now I was discovering, spite was just a potent a reason to reach the apex.

My father is indeed a wise king. Sending off their willful daughter to learn the complexities of the real world to humble her and to break her delusional and hypocritical self-centeredness.

I have done my duty. Someone get me some tea.

So much tea.

-.

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My friends - and odd as it may sound, in the few short weeks we have known each other, they have indeed become my friends, whom I could trust more than anyone I would ever meet at court – were in no shape to join royalty at breakfast. Evening meals were another matter entirely, I had promised that we would all join the Mismede Royal Family then.

"Is this really all right?" Miss Linze asked. "It's a bit scary to be dining with royalty, you know…"

"*I* am royalty," I replied softly. "And yet that has ceased to be a concern."

Miss Linze chuckled good-naturedly. She looked soft, but there was in her a certain inimitable core of confidence. She feared to offend powerful people, but was only slowly coming to the realization that she was also one of those with power.

"As long as you do not act overbearing, it doesn't really matter. Nobles are prickly with manners because they have to mind their status, but true royalty can be a lot more forgiving about ignorance because they have nothing to prove. They don't need to put others down just to feel secure. Just as you don't fear offending me, you don't have to fear being in front of His Highness Jamukha."

"That is because you are a comrade," said Miss Elze, and she dared to touch my shoulder comfortingly. Her green eyes glittered with intensity. "The day will come, when you can't hold back anymore, and you will PUNCH PLAYA IN THE FACE. And then we will be true heart-sisters."

I winced. Such a scenario actually felt rather pleasant to be honest. Too appealing. I feel you, Miss Elze.

I truly feel you.

"You say that, but surely Mister Zah is still worthy of respect. Sure, he is annoying sometimes… but I find it admirable that he loves deeply and truly, and loves not just people. He loves what he is doing at the moment, or else he wouldn't do it!" said Miss Linze.

I hummed softly. To be loved so deeply and thoroughly is the wish of every maiden. Miss Monika is so enviable. I looked at Miss Linze, who was almost pouting, insulted on Sir Zah's behalf. Perhaps the wish of being loved is so strong, she was fine with being a mistress… of always being the second in someone's heart.

I looked then from her to her twin sister. I thought of how Lady Monika had chosen Miss Linze as her own personal disciple. Miss Elze only cared that her sister was happy. I supposed in some way, Miss Linze was loved and pampered so much too. Giving her heart out so completely, how blessed she is to be loved so deeply by many in return.

My confession to Sir Zah was driven by my own egotism. It was a tremendous moment of irrationality, but I suppose even now Sir Zah remained an interesting person to me. I still admired him, but his flaws are not things I can ignore, even if that moment ultimately changed my life for the better. I also know now though that he is perfectly balanced with Lady Monika, so there was little room for me to feel any humiliation at being rejected. I felt like I dodged something far too troublesome there.

Miss Elze and Miss Linze were strong girls. I really admired them. They could deal with anything that the world could throw at them. Unfortunately, they were also wise to abhor dealing with the nobility, as that was an entirely different world of unfairness against upstart young women.

We were having mid-morning tea in one of the side rooms of the palace. It was an airy chamber with a tall ceiling, overlooking the gardens. That reminded me: Where was Miss Yae?

-.

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I found her later in the shade of the rear gardens, swinging her sword in a repeated overhand practice motion. "Miss Yae? How are you feeling?"

Her sword was still broken. One of the pair was ruined almost to slag and discarded, the other was snapped off halfway down the blade. Now it looked like some sort of thin cleaver. Was she trying to find the new balance of her blade?

"Ah, Yumina-sama! I am well, that I am."

I pointed to her sword. "May I ask… what is the point of this? Would it not be better to have a new sword? I am sure the smiths of Mismede have some curved swords similar to yours." I had some familiarity with types of weapons from my studies. "They are one-handed blades, but I am sure a smith could attempt something."

Then I realized something. "Ah, please excuse me. I mean no offense. Here in the west, there are also such things as named swords. There are also important swords and weapons, not even magic weapons, which are passed down as inheritances. I don't mean to imply that you should just toss away your weapons for convenience."

"No, a sword is a sword." Miss Yae shook her head. "It is a weapon, a tool of killing. Save for some select blades by famous sword-smiths offered to the gods, any katana can be replaced when it lacks killing power."

Miss Yae raised her ruined sword to her face. "A shorter, faster sword suits my needs right now, that it does."

She then inserted her sword back into its sheath and bent down in a fast-draw stance with the sheath below her left armpit. From that pose, Miss Yae slashed vertically.

There was the brief rasp of metal on metal and a lingering shrill note in the air. Faster than an eyeblink, Miss Yae now stood with her right arm now held out straight, her broken sword glinting under the sun.

Bark flew. I turned to see that a small gouge was taken out of the trunk of the tree right in front of her.

Such a tree that was still far out of reach. I raised my eyebrows. "Oh? Isn't this the Beast King's wind blade?"

Miss Yae relaxed, put away her broken blade again, and nodded. "It is still incomplete. If I knew the length of the sword, it would be more difficult to attempt. The familiar weight and balance prevents me from looking beyond the tip of the sword, but a sword with no tip can be of any length. This has been a good experience for my swordcraft, it is so."

I suppose for people serious about the way of the sword, it was well worth losing some pieces of metal to gain valuable insight. Getting stronger was its own reward.

Miss Yae's own inner darkness and light were sharply demarcated. She was a good person that had no problems with killing people. It was a common sight among knights.

Ah! My heart felt a pang. Strong. The people I surrounded myself with are strong, sometimes I felt like I would drown in the sea of their purposeful existences. A mere Princess was an empty title, I really needed to work hard to make myself a notable existence too.

I curtsied a bit. "Then I shall disturb you no further. Please only remember when it is time for supper."

Miss Yae nodded eagerly. "Un!"

-.

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Dinner with the royal family was a distinctly uncomfortable experience. Not because as Miss Linze feared, it was nerve-wracking to act with manners, but how much manners were distinctly a thing that was completely unnecessary at this table.

"Are you a rabbit? You should eat more meat! Grow up to be big and strong!"

King Jamukha pointed to my own plate. He clapped his hands and ordered "More meat!" Servants added more slices of beef and egg roulade onto everyone's plates, over a bed of lettuce.

Across me I could see Princess Tia wrinkle her nose in distate. Understandable. I looked around, and it seemed only the three of us – Queen Tillier, Princess Tia, and myself – had any problem with the added greasiness, not matter how savory the food. Miss Elze and Linze and the boys liked such things, and Miss Yae gestured as if to say 'More', and the servants added three more slices to her plate.

'More', she flicked her fingers discreetly again.

Briefly I was reminded of Sir Zah going "GET SWOLE, YUMINA!" and making a pose shoving off his biceps. I cringed.

Queen Tillier smiled softly and nodded, giving me a pitying look. She recognized keenly the signs of a traumatic flashback. Again I was struck with how oddly much we seemed like dark and distorted mirrors to each other, across the table.

King Jamukha was so carefree it almost hurt to compare. He was an object lesson about how Sir Zah should never be allowed to run his own country.

Queen Tillier looked elegant and graceful, a snow leopard woman that was like a steel blade hidden behind a silk cloth. Her reticence and gentle smiles reminded me about how Miss Linze might look when grown up and married to Sir Zah.

Princess Tia looked stoic, but her gaze was ebullient. She was looking towards Miss Elze, as if somehow feeling their similar natures. And I thought: /You know that your father wouldn't mind if you acted brashly and violently, right?/ And then I reconsidered: /Perhaps because of *spite*, she was ever more determined to act like the perfect princess instead of acting out like Miss Elze./

Or maybe unlike Miss Elze she just lacked being able to punch away her problem. It would be lese majeste.

Prince Remza, at nine years old and a year younger than Princess Tia, also tried to look stoic and dignified but it was clear he didn't quite know how to fake it just yet. I sympathized, for he was most likely to inherit and he was starting to enter that age in which he could question his purpose while still wanting to enjoy the freedoms of being a willful child.

Prince Alba, at six years old was still just a child. But he was cute and well-behaved. I really could not help but to compare this little boy to Miss Yae. It might sound incongruous, but they both just… abide. They had no concerns in life other than their next meal. What perfect contentment.

I smiled back. This family… if the conspirators had their way, we would be at war with Mismede right now. This family… like all Royal Families… had the requirement in that they must become extremely good at killing people.

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The next day, it was time to fulfill our reason for coming into Mismede in the first place.

We had unpacked and assembled tall rings out of the pieces packed into the carriages from Belfast. A room had to be cleared out for this purpose. "This is a two-way Gate. My father will soon be arriving to discuss things *personally*."

"Intriguing," murmured Chancellor Gatz. "It's like the ancient gates… but standing instead of lying down on the ground."

"It is called a Chapa'ai." Why? Sir Zah had named them. The rings were made of silvery-gray metal inscribed with magical symbols. It had an outer ring and a mobile inner ring, with chevrons on the outside ring marking specific sequences in the inside ring. The Ring was large enough for someone to walk through standing.

I bowed towards the king, the chancellor, and the group of guards. "With your permission, we will begin activation."

King Jamukha, standing tall and stately, once again a figure of undeniable power and authority, nodded back. "All right, do it."

The inside ring began spinning. (3) One by one, the chevrons locked into place with a heavy clank, lighting up with an inner amber glow. And then with a BOOM of displaced air, and a gout of white mist that looked like a rising column of water if you drop a heavy rock into a pool - the Ring Gate activated. I shielded my face from the cold, mildly damp spray.

When I lowered it, now the emptiness inside the ring was filled with what seemed to be the glimmering wavering surface of a vertical water pool.

King Jamukha stepped up and walked around the Gate. He rubbed at his bearded chin. "What happens if I enter from this side?" He hesitated to poke his finger through the oddly viscous surface. It wasn't wet liquid, but some form of a gas-energy curtain.

"There is no 'side' to it," I replied. "Either way you end up on the opposite face of the other Gate in Belfast."

"What if that side is flat against a wall?"

"Then… you run into a wall?"

"What if the other side is trapped with spikes?" He waved at the glowing surface. "Is it possible for this to be clear? Not knowing what's on the other side makes it hard to trust."

I knew that it could be clear, Sir Zah's [Boom Tubes] were basically tunnels. I didn't fully comprehend why the inscribed magic onto a magic tool was different.

"Then you get stabbed and die. This opaque surface is required for its operation, but it is also a security feature. If you do not trust enough to step through, then do not. A Gate is not meant to be a hole in anyone's defenses."

King Jamukha nodded, satisfied. Even Chancellor Glatz looked relieved.

I opened my palm out towards the Gate. "May I?"

King Jamukha stepped back, and gestured for me to proceed. I dipped my head into the Ring, shivered at the coldness of the shimmer barrier, and found on the other side my father and Uncle Alfred standing there waiting inside our Royal Castle in Alephis.

"Yumina!" Father gasped. "It's good to see you. Are you all right?"

"I am fine, Father. How about you? Are you ready?"

"We are prepared." He turned aside to my Uncle and said "Alfred, I'm leaving things to you for a while. Don't hesitate to call, after all we're just a short walk away."

"Worry not. I'll keep things civil while you're out visiting."

He turned back to me and smiled. "Let's do this."

I stepped back and away from the Ring to allow the Belfast contingent room to step through. First was the Captain of the Royal Guards, then two more guards to secure the area. The locals tensed up as four more came out. The guards arranged themselves around the Gate.

And then my father stepped through.

"Your Highness Tristwin," King Jamukha greeted him with a toothy grin. "Welcome to Mismede."

My father bowed slightly and walked on to face his counterpart squarely. "Thank you, Your Beastliness. It is an honor to be here."

My father was a tall, powerfully built man. Even when facing King Jamukha who was a full head taller and much more muscular, his presence was not diminished any.

I smiled and let out a relieved breath. My father was here now. Things would be all right.

-.

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And then a few hours later Sir Zah returned.

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AN:

(1) youtube /watch?v=_-voL29JTbQ

(2)

Monika: /It's Tetrahydrocannabinol, isn't it?/

Playa: It's THC.

Monika: /Is your next franchise a drug empire?/

Playa: More like Pfizer than El Chapo. Much higher profit margins.

(3) youtube /watch?v=ghS7LDagp3o