Chapter 5: Whisker to Whisper (Part 3)

Lightning flashes across the window I stare out of, and loud thunder shakes the college like an earthquake. The heavy rain still pours down, and now with the black of night, it leaves an eerie feeling in the wake, especially with how suspicious everything has seemed since we arrived here.

Strange portals to other dimensions, with strange towers emanating strange sounds. The headmaster unexpected hospitality in regards to everything...Khinashi doesn't seem to think much of it, but the others do. I'm not so sure about that experiment of his he's planning either. I want the moons back just as much as any Khajiit, but I'd rather put the fate of that, and our lives, in the hands of someone who doesn't have spooky underground portals to other dimensions...but I suppose at the same time, beggars can't be choosers, huh?

Regardless, I remind myself that bringing the moons back isn't the only reason I'm here, perhaps not even the main one. I made a promise to myself, and to Jasper, that I would do anything I could to find out what happened to him, whether that be he tripped on the way to the outhouse and broke his neck, or got himself involved in some Daedric blood pact that went awry, I'll find out whatever this 'accident' was that ended him.

And maybe it'll help me remember more of him too.

Everyone's probably asleep by now, except for Khinashi perhaps. Even Ma'ketra dozed off pretty soon after we were given our room to stay in for the night. I don't know how she manages to sleep, after what we saw today. It's just as well though, as this is probably a one-cat job, preferably assigned to the one who's small and inconspicuous, can turn invisible at will, and has every reason to want to succeed. Sounds like me!

So what's the game plan then? Well, before we ran into those Atronachs, we were looking for the registry or any place that would contain the files of anyone who lived here once. There's gotta be a place like that here. I don't know where, but if I were in charge, I'd probably keep it close to me, as that's likely something that would concern me. Boring information and numbers usually concern leaders. Maybe not, but it would be the first place to check. No surprise that the guy in charge probably lives up in the tower above the college, Ceryeas definitely doesn't seem like the humble type.

Lightning strikes again, and thunder rumbles as I leap down from the window sill and take one last look at Ma'ketra sleeping soundly through the storm.

I use alteration to turn the doorknob and open the door ever so slowly, so as to make as little noise as possible, and sneak through the crack and pull it shut. Hopefully, she won't wake up and wonder where I am and then look for me. Perhaps I should have left a note, but – gah, no, I don't need to write anything.

I walk through the dark halls of the College, still lit up from the blue flame torches dotted around, and the little specs of dust flow through the college. Knowing all of that is really a source of magicka makes me very curious. What did Ceryeas do or find that caused such a powerful source of sustainable magic that other people can tap into throughout the college? I'd sure like to know how to do that.

As I keep walking, I start to hear something else besides the thunder and rain. It's very faint, but when I listen closely, I can hear...voices? Less than voices. Whispers perhaps, disembodied, echoing whispers speaking a language I can't understand. Gods. What kind of place is this?

I know this place is called the College of Whispers but...actually that's probably exactly why it's called that. Huh.

Still, my fur stands on edge and I start running to try and get away from them, but they won't stop following me, with their terrible, almost melodic tune. As I approach the lobby I see one of the Storm Atronach guardians turn toward my direction, and I freeze in place. I didn't know what was supposed to happen, since I'm only out later than I should be - not something that would warrant immediate death I hope, but it just stood there again looking at me with it's non-eyes. Why do they keep doing that, and why only to me? Is it really just because I'm an Alfiq?

Well, better to accept it than question it and be killed by it, I suppose.

I ignore it and walk past it, and it turns as I do, but just stands – or rather floats – there for a little while longer before going on its way. I reach the ground floor of the college, and start walking up the many stairs around the walls. Or rather hop up, in an increasingly tiring way. How dare they not accommodate these stairs for Alfiqs.

By the time I'm halfway up, I already feel like falling over and rolling back down, when I notice that they don't even reach all the way to the top! There's a large section of stairs just missing before it reaches the top ledge where the door to the tower is. What, is it under construction, or something? How does Ceryeas get up there? Hmm, maybe levitation, I wouldn't put it past him, he seems like the haughty type to do that.

Just as I was about to consider waking up Jizad and getting him to give me wall climbing lessons, I hear a noise of the door from the tower opening, and a large shadow of the headmaster being cast on the wall from the light of the blue flames. I see his shadow raising his hand and casting some sort of spell, and suddenly the wall from where the stairs end branch out and create steps, allowing for him to walk down.

So that's how they do it. Of course that's how they do it. Still pretty haughty.

I quickly cast invisibility and hop up the rest of the stairs as quickly as I can, with as little to no panting as I can to avoid being detected. I just make it onto the next set of 'real' stairs before he forces them back into the wall. Now, I wonder how I'm going to get back down when I'm done...

I see him walking down one of the upstairs hallways. What's he even doing up so late at night wandering around the college?

I mean, I guess I am too, though...Anyway.

I walk up to the door to the headmaster's tower, and as I get ready to prepare my best anti-lock mechanism spell, I notice it's not even closed all of the way. Wow, that's the second time doors that should probably be locked, aren't. Ceryeas is as forgetful as an Alfiq.

I walk through the door to the headmaster's tower and I am overwhelmed by what I see.

For one, it's more spiral staircases going all the way up to the top. No surprise there. At the top of the tower it seems to lead off into a room of a sort, where I would guess a study or a bedroom would be. A glass dome lays over the top, where one can watch the stars, and where you used to be able to see the moons.

Along the way up though, besides the stairs, is just one gigantic bookcase all around the tower. A moving bookcase at that. Shelves move in different directions, and it almost looks hypnotic. No one could look through this bookcase and find what they're looking for through conventional means, so I'm guessing this is another magic controlled feature.

I sigh as I look up the spiral staircase. Before I even get the chance to look for the book, I'll have to start hopping up every single one of these stairs. Every. Single. One.

By the time I reach the top, I feel ready to just crawl under a box and fall asleep for the night. Ceryeas's desk is the center of attention in this room with a myriad of books, scrolls and papers littered about the place, almost like he was looking for something and decided to give up. I climb up on the desk and pull out some of the drawers, looking for where one would keep notes on current and previous students. I think I hit the jackpot when I get to the drawer containing journals of complaints that parents of the students filed against the college. Sure enough, in the stack is series of books dated "College Registry". I pull out the one related to the years Jasper would be there and magic it up on the desk to read.

I find the part in the book that lists the admittance, expulsion and graduation dates of all the students of these years, and then look in the F section for Frey.

"Frey, Jasper - Admitted 4E 94, 20th of Last Seed - 4E 96, 8th of Rain's Hand
Notes: Student unfortunately passed away in tragic magical experiment. Memorial plaque was made in honor of him and placed on the outer walls of the college with the others. Room 76, where student stayed was never able to be entered afterwards due to magical ward placed on it by Jasper himself before accident. Not even headmaster could bypass it. Will wait until ward eventually expires to retrieve belongings and send them back to family."

Hmm, well, not quite what I was looking for, but if Jasper's room still hasn't been touched, maybe something in his old room could explain what happened to him, or any experiments he was working on at the time.

Suddenly I hear the door open at the bottom, and hear Ceryeas start to climb the many stairs. I quickly magic the book closed and store it back in the drawer, and close it as silently as an Alfiq can.

I run over behind a stack of books to hide, and turn myself invisible for good measure.

Ceryeas grunts as he reaches the top of the stairs. He marches over to the desk and pulls each of the drawers out and shuffles through things. "Where is it! Where is it, for the love of Xarxes where did I put my notes?"

He slams the drawers shut and starts walking over to the stack of books I'm hiding behind, and picks them up one by one and throws them into another pile. I move to dodge each of them as he throws them wildly, and run off to the stairs. I can feel a headache coming on and I start to feel light headed, I can't hold the invisibility spell up much longer. I rush down the stairs as fast as I can, and hear him shout from up above which spooks me, and makes me lose my balance.

My invisibility is worn out and I gasp as I start falling to the bottom of the tower to my death!

Out of instinct, I focus my telekinesis on a nearby book, and shoot it out below me to catch my fall in mid-air. Wow, it worked!

The strain from holding the book beneath me with telekinesis wears on me, and I slowly telepathically drag myself over to the ledge of a bookshelf and hop onto it. The book falls down the tower and hits the ground.

I feel my heart racing rapidly from the adrenaline.

"What? Is someone there?" Ceryeas shouts and walks over to the stairs.

I jump and squeeze myself behind a book on the shelf to hide.

From behind the corner I can see Ceryeas looking down the tower, eyeing over everything. I push myself a little deeper into the bookcase.

"Hmm. Must have been the whispers," he says, and turns back to what he was doing.

I sigh of relief, and push myself out from behind the books. I look over the edge, and feel dizzy. The jump from the bookshelf to the stairs is one I could make, but not one I'd want to risk. I let myself rest a moment to rebuild my focus, and telekinetically hover a book over the edge. I never thought to do something like this before, I never would have thought it would work, or that I'd have the power to do it, but think of the uses it could have! Book Surfing, I could make it a sport!

As I stand on the book and dig my claws deep into the pages, I try to lower the book slowly and surely down the tower. It's less exhausting than the stairs, but it drains my mental energy rapidly, and I close my eyes to focus.

Eventually, I feel the book touch the ground, and I hop off with a headache that feels like my heart is beating through it. I open the door as quietly as I can, and close it just the same.

Finally. I take some deep breathes and press my paws against my head and grunt in pain.

No time for that. Time to go to Room 76.

This one blows the dust off of the book and reads its title. 'Reality and other Falsehoods'. Hmm. Sounds like it could be a good read.

One of the passages catches her eye.

'To cast Alteration spells is to convince a greater power that it will be easier to change reality as requested than to leave it alone. Do not assume that these forces are sentient. Our best guess is that they are like wind and water. Persistent but not thoughtful. Just like directing the wind or water, diversions are easier than outright resistance. Express the spell as a subtle change and it is more likely to be successful.'

Khinashi smiles. This one remembers Father doing things like that, to show her the power of alteration and its reality-bending potential. He always said that a spell can have as many applications as its caster can think of, not restricted to its original purpose. That knowledge has served her well so far.

Khinashi sighs, and pushes away the book.

Oh, Father. This one could have learned so much still from you. This one wishes you were here... Khinashi does not always know what to do, maybe her friends are right, and we should leave this place. But it feels so good to be somewhere that Khinashi feels welcome in...but if you were here, you would have the answers. You would know what to do to bring the moons back, you always saved the day, you were always there when anyone needed you, when Khinashi needed you.

Sigh. But not now. Not anymore...

The tears cannot be held back anymore, and Khinashi lets them free, and sobs. Why did this have to happen in the first place? Why did you have to do this Ra-Zara'chi? Why?

Why did we have to leave Elsweyr and leave Mother behind? Why can this one's friends not accept not all magic is evil? Why do we have to leave so soon?

It is too much.

Khinashi sniffles and drops her head on the desk. This one stares at her feet.

Khinashi hears a knocking on the library door. "Is everything alright, Khinashi?" Ceryeas asks.

This one wipes her nose and eyes dry and lifts her head back up. "Khinashi is fine, thank you for asking," she says and pulls the book closer and turns the pages again, tries to read, but cannot find the focus, and the words are just a blur.

Ceryeas walks into the library. "Wow, that's a lot of books you've picked out. Have you already finished reading some of them?" Ceryeas asks, noting the two piles on the desk.

"No. This one will probably...not have time to finish any, so she is just scanning and looking for the important bits," she says and sniffles again, trying hard to keep her composure.

Ceryeas sits down at another desk behind her. "Ah, and why's that? You and your friends are welcome to stay here as long as you need."

Khinashi smiles weakly, but does not look at him. "Thank you. This one greatly appreciates the hospitality you have shown us. She just wishes her friends did as well..."

"Oh?" is all he says.

Khinashi glances at him for a second, and cannot read the expression on his face. "The others, my friends...They do not trust you. They think you hide something from them, and that we should leave tomorrow morning, and not do the experiment."

"Ah," is all he says.

Khinashi look at him, confused. "You do not seem offended," Khinashi notes.

Ceryeas looks away. "I can't blame them. You've all been through a lot, it sounds like. A healthy dose of paranoia is what has kept you all alive on your own I'm sure. Especially with your four-legged friends, trust should not come easy. Besides, I'm used to it, as I am sure you are. Just as outsiders do not trust your kind in these lands, neither do we as mages receive much in the way of gratitude from others."

Khinashi smiles, happy that at least one person seems to understand. She turns to face him.

"This one does not know why. Magic can do so much good for people! And what you have created here, with this magic that others can tap into...it is unbelievable. Imagine if this could be applied to whole cities!"

Ceryeas chuckles. "Yes, it was quite the feat," he says, looking off into the distance. "But all great innovations require great sacrifices." Ceryeas frowns, and looks troubled by some thought.

Khinashi tilts her head and narrows her eyes. "What do you mean by that?"

I run through the hallway, following the ascending room numbers, until I get to my destination. Room 76.

It looks like an ordinary door, except with some sort of magical web-like ward protruding outwards from it, gleaming in different colors. It's a dome around the door preventing anyone from even coming near it.

I try to focus on it and dispel it with my own magic, but it doesn't even budge, and only succeeds in giving me another headache. I really need to cool it for awhile with the magic.

I sigh. If not even Ceryeas could bypass this ward, how could I ever hope to, even if I was at my best?

But, I've gotta find a way in there! I have to! All the answers I need could be in there!

I focus on the door again, straining all of my mental energy. Nothing happens. Gah!

Maybe I could get Khinashi to help me, and we could combine our magic...or maybe I could get Ma'krin to smash the ward down. That would work, right?

No. It needs to be now, tonight! I charge at the door myself out of anger, and push myself into it. I hear a thud as I hit the door, and I'm dazed.

I open my eyes and look down, and lay on the ground up against the door in defeat. At least the ward is pretty to look at, all around me.

Wait. The ward. I'm inside the ward.

What? How?

I walk up to the edge of the glow and stick my paw through it, and it passes through, parting the magic away as I do.

How is this possible? When Jasper created the ward, did he purposely allow certain people to be able to walk through it? I can't think of any other reason. But why me? When I would have been all the way in High Rock with no chance to visit? Jasper, you crafty, immensely powerful Breton you.

I stop questioning it and use my magic to open the door handle and walk inside.

I walk inside and take a look around the room.

I don't know what to think about what I see. It's a room with a lot of packed luggage backs, and most of the decorations set down on the floor, with open bags next to them. It's almost like he was planning to move somewhere. Or leave? But he never got the chance to...

I don't know what I'm looking for, so I just pore over some of his things. Jasper's things...this is his stuff.

I open a luggage bag, and the first thing I see packed away on top is a portrait in a frame, a portrait of me and Jasper drawn by some fancy Breton artist.

I smile, and a tear starts rolling from my eye.

I set it aside, and look deeper. I see some mementos that he used to have set up as decorations in his room back in High Rock, and suddenly a wave of nostalgia rushes over me, and I can start to remember more things that I thought I'd already forgotten.

I remember knocking the decorations over and then getting scolded by his mother...she wouldn't give me food when I did bad stuff, she still thought I was just a housecat, but Jasper knew. He always looked out for me. Whenever they did that, he'd always give me some of his food, though I'd grown accustomed to the taste of that stuff his parents gave me so I always thought his food was disgusting, but I always appreciated that he did that.

His family never understood our bond together, thought Jasper was crazy that he liked spending more time with me than his friends. It was difficult...living somewhere where only one person knew you for what you really were, and everyone else thought you were something else.

I sigh.

...But then again, how much different is it now with these guys, anyway? I think to myself. Even now, only Ma'ketra really knows who I am. Ma'krin ignores me and Jahirr just thinks I'm a liability to have along. And with the walkers...well, besides the point that I can't even have a conversation with them other than saying yes and no, I don't feel like they understand me either. I know Khinashi tries so hard to, but that's just it: She tries so hard to be inclusive with us that it doesn't feel real, more just like she's trying to live up to an image of a perfect Elsweyr where everyone is equal, but it doesn't exist. J'shabi tries so hard to not offend us accidentally, that it actually becomes offensive sometimes. Jizad is the only one of them that seems to understand something about us. He ignores us as much as he ignores others, and when he does talk, he says it plainly, and honestly, even if it's harsh.

I don't know why I'm having these thoughts right now. I know in the end it's a lot better than the rest of the people in my life, besides Jasper. I just don't know. I shake my thoughts of them and started opening some more boxes, to find anything else interesting. Most just had a bunch of clothes in it packed away. Never understood the walker's love for having so many different clothes.

Other boxes held yet more trinkets of his that I don't remember - that is until I pull out a thin red strip of cloth with a buckle and a silver thin plating attached to it. My old collar! It has the name Jasper gave to me when his family adopted me as a stray kitten. Smallpaws Sharpclaws.

Ah...I remember I used to hate this thing. When I found out I was an Alfiq, wearing it always made me feel like something lesser, like just a pet, an ordinary housecat, that was someone's possession...and yet, it was probably the first thing I was ever given to remind me of Jasper. I can't believe he still kept it after so long. For old time's sake, I decide to push my head through it and tuck it underneath my shawl. I'll wear it as something I can keep to help me remember him.

Thinking about all of this makes more tears start rolling from my eyes, and I'm glad Ma'ketra isn't here to see me weeping like a kitten. I wouldn't hear the end of it.

I stand there in the room feeling a bit awkward for a few more seconds, before shaking myself free of thoughts and memories, and remind myself of why I'm here. I regain my resolve, and intently start looking around the room for something that could help explain what happened to him. I remember Jasper always used to take meticulous notes in a journal of his. I doubt that would have changed when he went to college. If there were anything that seemed suspicious here that could have led up to what caused his accident, and who's responsible for it, I'm sure he would have mentioned it in his journal. He was a smart kid.

I started throwing things out of the luggage bags, up onto the bed and on the floor. At the bottom I see some school books, and then...there it is.

The Diary of Jasper Frey.

Sorry I have to invade your privacy, Jasper, but I need to find out what happened to you.

I look through for any particular entries that stick out to me.

4E 96, 22nd of First Seed

Dear diary,

Usually, I enjoy my infrequent discussions with the headmaster about the arcana, and have always appreciated that he thought I was, well, smart enough that I was worth the time to talk to about the ideas he has...although it could just be because of my special connection with magicka. Today, however, we had a strange conversation. Ceryeas was bringing up his ideas with me about ways to improve the college, make people rethink the ways of how magic works and such, but his newest ideas to achieving his goals leave me a little unsettled. He never directly said it, but it almost sounded like he was considering reopening research onto Sigil stones and the Oblivion gates to the realms of the Daedra, despite the Empire's ruling against that research. At least, he mentioned other realms a lot and was wondering if he could replicate what the Daedra lords do by drawing power from their realms. It's still all theoretical, but the way he talks about it sounds as if it's been something he's already decided on. Ceryeas is a great headmaster, and a great professor, but even I know there was a reason that those studies were banned a long time ago.

Aside from that, I helped Cyl with her presentation for her class in Restoration today. She needed to demonstrate the usefulness of Restoration magic in other ways besides just healing. She was good with the speeches, I just needed to hold up wards as she cast progressively more and more powerful spells at me. At the end of it, I decided to use both hands and created a ward around both of us in the shape of a ball. I told every mage in the classroom to try and break the ward by casting as many spells as they could at us, all at once. Even still they couldn't break through, not even over a dozen 3rd year college mages. That wasn't in the script, I just suddenly said it, and the professor looked very distressed at first, fearing for our safety, but she was very impressed afterward. Cyl teased me about showing off, but I think she enjoyed it too.

There was a long silence as this one waited for him to respond to her question.

Ceryeas stood up and walked away, his back turned to this one. "Tell me, Khinashi. What would you be willing to sacrifice to bring the moons back? Before you answer, think about what must have been sacrificed to cast them away in the first place."

The question caught her off guard, and...it was not one she ever really thought about. Khinashi would hope that no sacrifice, literal or otherwise, would be necessary. We would just go and find a way to bring the moons back, and Elsweyr would be saved, and it would be a happy ending.

But what if it ultimately did come down to it, would this one still want to do it? What would the sacrifice be, and who would have to make it? Power, freedom, time, or life itself? Khinashi ponders on if it was something she was willing to give her own life for, and...it was not something she wanted to dwell on much. Even worse would be if one of her friends - J'shabi, Jizad, Jahirr, Smallpaws, Ma'ketra or Ma'krin would have to do it.

But then, Ra-Zara'chi killed his own brother to cast them away, and despite their bickering, she knew they were close. That's why Rid-Rawl'vah did not believe Ra-Zara'chi could do such a thing. What else might he have had to give up?

"I...do not know. Khinashi never thought about it before," she said honestly.

"Yes, we never do until the choice is forced upon us. Sometimes deep down we know the answer, but we try to deny it and hope someone else will come along and make the choice for us, so we don't have to bear the shame."

Khinashi frowns, perhaps even some of that is true. Khinashi does not want to think about it.

Ceryeas walks toward a bookcase, scans it and pulls out a book. "It's a shame your friends decided not to participate in the experiment I had planned," he said, reading through the book.

Khinashi looked surprised. "There is still a chance. They said they would think on it overnight, they could still decide to-"

Ceryeas interrupts. "But just like with the question I asked, deep down you already know what the answer will be, Khinashi."

4E 96, 28th of First Seed

Dear diary,

It's almost time for the spring magic festival again, the last big event of the school year before summer. Once again teams of the best student mages of the different magical institutions across the Empire are competing for the Emporer's battlemage awards. Once again I'm being pestered by almost everyone to join our college's team this year. I don't get it. For the rest of the year almost everyone acts jealous of me or tells me that I didn't earn my skill in magic, but when it's this time of the year, they always act so nice because they want me to win the award for them. I did the first year I was here, and it didn't feel right. Anyone I was up against either forfeited after they saw what I could do, or didn't last very long at all. Last year I didn't join it, and we lost to the College of Winterhold.

Everyone was bitter that we lost to the college in one of the provinces that pretty much hates magic. I remember getting a lot of unhappy looks by everyone for awhile after that. I expect the same will happen this year when they hear the disappointing news that I won't be joining the team again. Cyl got elected for our team though, and I'm really happy for her. I may not be able to give her my connection to magic, but I'll try my best to teach her what I know about being a battlemage.

Ceryeas said he wanted to see me tomorrow after class. I hope this isn't about those pranks I pulled on Divyral and Caedwyn...Sometimes I can't help myself, and need to have a little fun. Being at a college full of people with sticks up their butts all the time would drive anyone mad.

"They're not like us, Khinashi. Your friends will never understand the sacrifice that powerful magic requires. They'll always see magic as evil, as well as those who practice it, no matter how much good it brings. People always fear what they can't understand, just like how people fear the Khajiit."

Khinashi was startled by the sudden change in his voice. He used to speak slowly, with a kind voice, but now it is faster, and in a bitter tone.

"But we can teach them to understand-"

Ceryeas laughs and shakes his head. "Yes, yes of course. You remind me of myself once, you know. Out to change the world and make it a better place, believing people can set aside their differences," he chuckles some more, flipping pages in the book still.

He continued. "Your quest to bring the moons back is not one for the faint of heart Khinashi, there will be times you will be given difficult choices, and you will be the only one with the conviction needed to choose the path that leads forward."

Ceryeas slams the book shut. "But maybe I can spare you just this one."

Khinashi jumps from the sudden sound, and takes a glance at the title of the book he is carrying. 'The Properties and Uses of Dream Magic'.

4E 96, 29th of First Seed

Dear diary,

I'm starting to feel a bit suspicious about Ceryeas. After class today I met him up in his tower, and he told me more about his plans to create a new source of magic for the college that everyone can use. It sounded a bit too good to be true. He then showed me a place underground, beneath the remains of the oblivion gate in the lobby that he's been excavating out for use in his experiment. He says he thinks he can use the residual energies of the magic from it to possibly create his own dimension. I decided it was time right there to tell him how I felt about the use of the oblivion gate again even after the empire ruled against that research, but he assured me that this was different. Apparently, this wouldn't be using sigil stones, and only the residual energies of the oblivion gate, and that the dimension created wouldn't be a part of Oblivion at all, it would just follow similar concepts to those of the pocket planes they led to during the oblivion crisis. I suppose that isn't technically illegal, but it still wouldn't look good to be going around in the dark about this. I suggested he should bring this up with others first before deciding if it's a good idea, but he refused.

He asked me to try using my connection with magic to try and amplify the residual energy of the gate, but I refused, I still wasn't sure about this. I told him to let me think it over for a few days, but to be honest, I'm pretty sure the answer will still be no.

In other news, lately I've been thinking more again about deciding to leave the college. I know I've talked about this a lot to you, diary, but this time I'm pretty certain. I just don't fit in here. Everyone is always so serious and competitive about everything, and that only makes it worse for me because of my special connection to magic. People claim I didn't earn any of my power, that I don't deserve it, and to be frank, I'm not even sure I want it. I never asked to be given this gift, to be the Chosen of Magnus as they call it. I used to think I'd love being here, learning how to use my powers and doing great things with it, but looking back...I kind of miss just using it for pranks and parlor tricks with Smallpaws. I miss him. I hope I get to see him again if I move back there, but I wouldn't blame him if he decided to wander. Aside from me, there wasn't much keeping him there, since I was the only one who knew what he really was, or accepted what he was.

Life was easy back with him, without everyone looking up to you to become the next great mage of the new age - The next Shalidor or Vanus Galerion. When I look in the mirror, that's not who I see, I just see me. A mischievous kid with too much magic. I just want to be Jasper again for a while. Maybe some day I'll be ready for that kind of responsibility and power, but not right now.

Wait...that book...no, he surely is not-

Ceryeas walks toward the door.

Khinashi jumps out of her chair and blocks his path. "Wait! What are you doing, what did you mean by that?"

"Don't think about it too much, it'll be easier on your conscience. Stay here and read a book, and tomorrow you'll have all the answers you wanted. And so will I," he says, and walks past her.

Khinashi feels stunned as she comes to the realization, and then very, very angry.

"You are going to force them to do the experiment anyway! Against their wishes, with dream magic!" Khinashi shouts.

4E 96, 2nd of Rain's Hand

Dear diary,

Well, today was the day of disappointments. More put, me disappointing everyone...

I disappointed the college and all its members when I said I wasn't going to join the team for the spring festival competition. I disappointed Ceryeas when I told him firmly that I don't agree with what he's doing, and don't want to be a part of it...but most of all, I disappointed Cylesse when I told her about my plans to move back home and leave the college. She was heartbroken. We've been becoming pretty close over the past several months...Smallpaws would probably tease me about that, seeing as how socially awkward I was when I was growing up. I don't want to leave her behind, but I feel this is the best path for me to take. I told her I still want to keep in touch, and send letters frequently, and even visit sometimes, but it was too much for her to accept right now. She didn't have much more to say when I made it clear I wasn't going to be convinced. She left in tears and went back to her room, and I feel terrible. I should probably give her some time alone.

Ceryeas sighs and stands still. "Not one for subtleties then. I guess it wouldn't matter if I said I'm doing you and your people a favor-"

"No! It does not matter, not when they did not agree to it! Who do you think you are, that you can decide people's fate against their will?" Khinashi shouts and prepares ice spells in both hands.

"I think I'm the Headmaster of the College of Whispers, and that you're just a meddling kid."

Khinashi releases two ice spikes from her hand at Ceryeas. He raises a ward behind his back without even turning around, and blocks them.

"Tsk, tsk. I expected better of you, Khinashi," he says. He turns around and tucks the book into an interior pocket in his robe. "I let you and your friends stay here and eat our food. I even forgave your friends trespasses and offered to help you, and this is how you repay me - an ice spike to the back, true to the nature of your people. Very well, I guess you decided your own fate after all."

Suddenly, Khinashi is overwhelmed with fear, she was not sure what his reaction would be, but it wasn't this!

4E 96, 7th of Rain's Hand

Dear diary,

I'm starting to get really worried about Cylesse. I haven't seen her at all since our argument, in classes, hallways or at lunch, and she wasn't in her room when I checked - I figured 5 days was long enough, since I'll be leaving tomorrow. I asked her friends if they'd seen her, and they said the same thing: that she hasn't been seen in a few days. The last they'd heard was that Ceryeas chose her to help with some research, and they just assumed she was out in the field. Sometimes students can be gone for days out doing field research...but I know Cyl, and she would have at least told someone that she would be gone for awhile if that were the case. She probably would have wanted to say goodbye since she knew I was leaving the college soon, no matter how she felt at the time.

It being Ceryeas that she's working on a project with just makes me even more worried. Cyl has always been the top of the class in her skill with magic, if it weren't for my gift she would have surpassed me too. If Ceryeas knew he wouldn't be able to ever convince me to help him with those plans of his, he would have went to her next for help.

Why does he need an assistant so much, to help him create a pocket dimension?

Why did he want me to use my connection with magic to create the plane, instead of him?

And if the magic is based on the pocket dimensions of Oblivion from the crisis, what is he using in place of the sigil stones? The focus of every one of those realms?

I don't know if I'm going crazy over nothing, or if Ceryeas has gone full-blown crazy, but I'm not leaving until I find out. I'm going to confront him tomorrow in his tower about this, and if he isn't there, well... Then I know where to look for him.

Ceryeas pulled back his arms and charged a lighting bolt and launched it at her. Khinashi used both of her hands and made a ward which stopped it, but shattered immediately on contact and blasted her back against the bookcase. She fell to the ground, and some books fell on her head.

"What did you think would happen?" he says, and charges another spell. Khinashi shakes the book off of her and fails to summon another ward, so she rolls to the side behind a desk as another lightning bolt blasted the bookcase, which fell over. Ceryeas caught it with telekinesis before it crashed into him, and shoved it to the side.

"Did you think you could just pick a fight with an Archmage and get away alive?" he shouts again. Khinashi tips the desk over and hides behind it, as another bolt launches into the back of it, sliding it and her across the ground.

Khinashi focuses and summons a familiar, and signals it to attack Ceryeas. It runs toward him and bites at his leg. Khinashi summons a bound sword in her other hand. Ceryeas kicks the dog back against a bookcase and it dissipates with a weak whimper. He laughs. "Did you really think some silly parlor trick could-"

Ceryeas moves his head backwards to avoid a bound sword which flies past his face, that Khinashi had thrown. It sticks into the wall at the other side of the room. He looks surprised.

"Leave this one's friends alone!" she shouts.

"My, my..." Ceryeas says as he slow claps, and walks toward her. "You've just earned yourself some time," he says slowly.

Khinashi launches ice spike after ice spike at him, and backs up. He effortlessly wards them away, until Khinashi bumps into the wall and runs out of mental energy.

He lifts up his hands. "Some time to think, about all the many ways I can make your death as slow and painful as possible."

Suddenly a portion of the wall behind her rips outward and turns around, and seals her away behind it. "What? What are you-"

"You seem to have forgotten that I control everything in this college. Including the very floors and walls within it!" he shouts, and laughs.

"No!" Khinashi shouts, and bangs on the wall. "Don't do this, don't hurt them!"
The sound is muffled by the walls.

"You know, I really wasn't at first, but maybe now I will. Think on that while you're in there until I return. Or maybe I won't, this would be a fitting tomb for someone with such insolence."

Khinashi screams at the top of her lungs. "J'shabi! Jizad! Jahirr! Someone, help!"

Khinashi pounds on the walls with all her might, but nothing happens, there is only silence. No one can hear her.

No one is coming for her.

She is trapped.

Ceryeas...

All the fire and fury inside of me boils into a deadly rage, and my paws start to glow red as they melt the ground beneath me.

Ceryeas.

He did it! That portal, that screaming...That must be Jasper up there! What did you do to him, Ceryeas? What did you do to Jasper?

By every Aedra and Daedra, I'll find out and stop it, and I'll make you pay for what you did to my best friend! I swear it!

I roar at the top of my lungs like an angry Senche-raht.

Ceryeas! I'm coming for you!