Chapter 10: Chapter 10
Lessons Learnt
Chapter 10
The sight of Georgie lying there next to Charles was too much for Molly. So Molly ran. Out of the house and all the way back to Elvis and the team as soon as transport was arranged. Her mind running through the scenario again and again, until she told it to stop. She wouldn't do this to herself again. Charles and Georgie would not break her.
On getting back she never mentioned anything to Elvis, avoiding all questions about Charles that he directed at her. He knew something was up, but was too preoccupied. The rest of the team did too, but wisely did not press Molly on it. She continued being as brilliant and professional as she had always had been, she just looked a little sadder.
Charles woke up the morning of Molly's departure feeling dreadful. His foot hurt and so did his head. He also felt very embarrassed. There was Georgie parading around in his dressing gown, and he discovered he was only wearing his boxers. He was pretty certain that he had not achieved this level of undress all by himself. What had happened last night came flooding back to him. He groaned at how utterly stupid he had been.
When Georgie had first turned up last night he had initially been so grateful. He needed help, and here she was. She said she'd tidy up but first he need something to eat. He envisaged some lovely home cooked delight, and was bitterly disappointed when she ordered take away. Something he had been living off for days. Then she opened the wine. His foot was bloody painful. The pain killers not controlling the painful throb, so when she suggested a glass or two to help, he stupidly agreed. Somewhere though in the back of his mind he knew these pain killers did not mix with alcohol. Hence he guessed the severe nausea and killer headache this morning. The taste of stale vomit in his mouth.
"Georgie. What you still doing here?" He pulled the quilt up to his chin bashfully.
"Relax Charlie Boy. You were pretty out of it last night. I was worried about you being on your own. So I got you to bed and stayed over." She saw the panic and revulsion spread across his face. It hurt. " I slept on the couch, if that helps." She offered.
"Oh Christ I feel awful. Had such strange dream too. Thought I heard, saw Molly. She's not here is she?" Knowing the answer but still felt he needed to ask. Disorientated and feeling as though she had been present in his home recently. "It felt so real." He trailed off.
"No of course not. Why would she be?" But Georgie too had a strange feeling. "Anyway Charlie Boy. I'm going to shower, make myself more beautiful. Then I'll start tidying some of the mess down stairs for ya."
Charles thanked her and as soon as she left the room he dressed himself and hurried as fast as he could downstairs. The place was a mess, and he'd be grateful for her help in getting it sorted. Though he did have to wait nearly two hours before she had finished getting herself ready. It annoyed him that she had used Molly's stuff in the process without asking permission. It felt to Charles just wrong, taking something that wasn't hers. Interfering with something that he held as precious.
While he waited he tried to call Molly, failing each time. The call didn't go through or didn't get answered. Eventually he gave up. Frustrated. He didn't have the strength even to write to her today, his pain levels and hang over were crippling. Eventually Georgie came and moved a few bottles, but did little more than parade herself in front of Charles. Making no true effort to clean the place up or supply him with sustenance for the rest of the week. Disappointed, as she was getting little attention from Charles she left, with half-hearted promises she return in a few days' time. Something Charles hoped she would really forget about.
Molly didn't have time to dwell on her heart break. As soon as she got back to where the team were her feet didn't hit the ground. Intel had come through and within hours they were expected to leave again. They were warned they'd be away for a week or more and potentially it wasn't going to be pleasant. They were to be supported in their mission. This meant more personnel for Molly to look after.
Before they moved out Molly eventually checked her mobile phone and saw numerous message and missed calls from Charles. Knowing how hard it would be when she had to talk to him again. The site of seeing him in bed with Georgie pushed down in her emotion. There was no anger, no rage. Not like the usually Molly Dawes. Just what she could only describe as though it was an event that had happened to someone else. Her head and her heart couldn't truly believe that he had betrayed her. That was not Charles. That was not the man she had fallen in love with. He was different from the others therefore making it impossible that this had happened again to her. So she just didn't understand it, but the evidence had been there for all to see. She couldn't believe that due to her past lessons had not been learnt.
It was just as Molly had completed her basic training that she started up a relationship with one of the other medics, while stationed in Birmingham. His name was Matthew, and they had so much in common, that the attraction was almost immediate and the relationship began to consume her life. Within months she had fallen hard and totally in love with him. Matthew appeared to have been in the same emotional boat as her. The same rank, the same job, the same course meant that they would spend nearly every day and all day together for nearly six months. He was Molly's first love and first proper lover. She gave herself over to him absolutely and completely. If she was honest though looking back she lost herself a bit along the way, not proud that a man could make her feel so weak at times. Happy ever afters were talked about. Then Matthew was taken on a posting with 2 section to Afghan. Six whole moths away from one another seemed unbearable initially.
Then during the absence Molly stared to gain a little bit of herself back. Her life started to revolve around her, her aims and goal. Not just what Matthew wanted. The brave new world she was experiencing was exciting and Molly wanted to enjoy its opportunities while she was young. That is exactly what she did. Matthew could sense her growing independence, and whether it was this or because he was just a unfaithful bastard, he cheated on her. He cheated on her with their good friend Katie during decompression. He only had to wait out five more days before he saw Molly again, but couldn't and didn't. She found out about his infidelity from other member of the section, a loud mouth gossip called Fingers, not linking her to him, so he was oblivious of the pain his tale telling caused.
Molly was gutted, and it was her friend Georgie who pulled her through. Many a night she came over and was there for Molly. Reasoning with her, setting fire to Matthews's clothes, drinking themselves stupid, drunk texting him insults. Georgie was a good mate. She had seen how betrayal had almost crumpled Molly, and that is why now Molly could not truly believe her friend had done that to her. How she could not remember how Molly was last time a friend betrayed her. How Georgie could now think so little of her and their friendship.
Molly stared to doubt herself, something she used to so easily do. Had she again fallen in love with a man who she thought she could trust, and then he had betrayed her? Was there was no going back? Yet his messages and texts to her still stirred up feelings other than hate towards him. Knowing that unlike last time, she had to come out of this stronger and without regret, but it still hurt all the same. This time though, no matter what wouldn't have Georgie to help her! She therefore fired off a quick polite text to Charles stating they'd be without comms for a while. Giving him enough to stop him crazily worrying, but still being formal enough in her text for him to appreciate Molly was not a push over. As before, ironically just like Georgie had taught her, she had to focus on being brilliant. She had to focus her energies on her role. Vital, 100% commitment to the medic position she had been trusted with.
She would never mention anything to Elvis either. His head was full of the mission. He had a lot of anxiety and worry over what they were to do. Molly couldn't be responsible, couldn't be the one who interrupted his commitment by bringing him news of their messed up love lives. So she stayed quiet. And as she had done once before when face with betrayal…. she turned to the Army and the all-consuming relationship one could have serving under her command.
The mission was dangerous. Everyone knew that. The tension was palpable and hard to take. Each solider became contemplative, realising the huge task that was ahead of them. Knowing that the next few days, weeks, determined the course of numerous people's lives, on both sides. All this responsibility rested heavy on all the SF team, and because of that they further bonded as a unit. Appreciating in these situations no one was alone, they were a team, a unit and would therefore move as one, fail or succeed as one.
Within hours of the mission kicking off Molly knew that this was it for her. Her life. The excitement, the expectation, all things that she now would choose over a personal life. There wasn't room in her life for both. The Army therefore was the mistress she chose. Charles indiscretion had done her, she believed a favour. She wouldn't look back.
Her role was vital and respected, and she was frequently used in the first hours of the mission, and then sadly more so as they turned into days. She relished being pushed, being able to save, make a difference, make the necessary calls. Doing what she was trained to do, but doing it so well.
That was until the fourth day. SF has been supported by a rifles section. Young soldiers in the main, some their first contact, their first deployment. Terrified, in the main, but blindly and bravely following the orders given to them. Trusting the chain of command. One of these soldiers she worked with was a young man, five or six years younger than Molly, called Geraint. Molly got on with him famously. Both sharing a cheeky sense of humour. Both desperately trying to see the bigger picture, and not to focus on the grief an misery that surrounded them.
However, soldiers can rarely shut out the bad, and certainly on this mission it was not to be. No matter how hard Molly tried to push away the harshness of their mission, the fragility of their roles, their lives started to become very real for them.
Several soldiers and Molly had been cut off from the main group during a bout of heavy firing. Lots of superficial injuries occurred. Molly herself suffered and need to self-attend. The situation was noisy, frightening, and desperate for a while. However initially Molly was not too concerned, as she knew they would be reabsorbed as soon as possible, a standard technique used and practiced successfully many times. She had confidence in all getting back to main group again, and safely.
However that was until Geraint was hit. He suffered a serious head wound, that Molly was able to stop from bleeding out, but only just. Initially there was hope, but as the hours ticked by again and again, and they were no signs of a rescue Molly realised that Geraint's chances of getting back alive were fading. He started to slip in and out of consciousness and lucidity
Molly and the rest of his comrades spent the next several days with him. Holding his body, giving him some physical comfort. Giving him something they themselves did not have. Listening to his stories and confessions. Sharing with him their stories, whether he could hear or not. As the hours past they heard him sob, as he accepted his life was ending, crying out for his mother and brother. Talking about his sweetheart and the plans they had together. All were affected, rotating amongst themselves, doing their duty to their mate, whilst protecting their position still.
Molly stayed with him constantly. Reviewing and re assessing her options, her actions. Running through all the training she had been given. Praying there was something she hadn't thought of that now would miraculously come to her, which would save him. But she knew nothing would. Geraint was dying.
Eventually, having cradled him in his arms. Lulling his fears, ready to give him his final comfort. Molly ensured she made his final hour as pain free as possible. His life ebbing away, he deserved peace. She held him until his breathing became shallow and eventually stopped. She sobbed for the young boy who she had held in her arms. Someone who she had seen as a friend. A brave soldier who had given the ultimate sacrifice. Holding his lifeless body she reflected Charles' betrayal had left her sad, Geraint's' death, it was this event that had left her truly heartbroken.
Molly remained with the body all through the night. It was in the break of the next day that rescue came and she had to be separated from the boy she had failed to save. It was her first fatality, her first failure. He had not been an anonymous casualty, but a boy she had known and shared his last few hours with.
When Elvis reached her it was her utter look of nothingness that unsettled him. This wasn't the Molly he knew. She was empty.
He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to get feet, freeing her from the body she was clinging to.
"Come on Molly. It's time to let him go. It's time to go." Elvis was a good boss on many levels, today he was showing just how good he was, sympathetic, caring and appreciative of the task Molly had just performed.
"I wasn't good enough." Was all she sobbed. Clinging on to Elvis, her friend who was offering her comfort. Molly was unsure though as the tears fell just which situation exactly she was using Elvis' comfort for, Geraint, or Charles.