for the prompt: pieces Warnings: depression, codependency and ptsd

Chapter Four – The Things We Do To Love

Sayo hadn't expected the last week or two.

To be honest, she had learned to manage her expectations fairly fast as a child. They'd been on the run for so long. So that she'd been in the same house, with the same bath and same bed and place for hot water and all of these sames was…

She wished her parents could see it. She wished her brother could see it, wherever he was. Maybe he also had it now and that was why he hadn't come back. And now he never could come back. There was nothing and no one to come back to.

She rubbed her eyes to prevent the tears from starting. She couldn't be sad now. Her digimon needed her to be strong. Uncle had said Digimon wouldn't grow stronger with a weak partner. So she wouldn't be weak. He needed her not to be.

Sayo rolled over a little. It was still dark out and she was a little sleepy. But going back to her own bed meant leaving Kou-chan here alone on the couch. She wasn't quite able to pick up such a fluffball without waking him up and his nightmare meant she would no matter what.

...Maybe he'd be warm enough that it'd be fine?

She hoped so. She was very tired still, and he took up a lot of space.

But moving seemed like a lot of effort. Maybe if she rested her eyes a little more, she could get the energy...

When she opened her eyes again, the sun was streaming through the windowpanes and Kou-chan was no longer on top of her. He was pacing back and forth, his fluffy body dragging and shedding as he walked. At the sight of her open purple eyes, his own went big and delighted and he scampered over to her.

"G'morning, Sayo," he chirped at her, eyes sparkling. "Did you have good dreams? I had weird ones."

Sayo blinked at him. "Noisy," she managed to say, but the digimon didn't seem bothered by her comment or lack of an answer. Rather that seemed to make him happier, and that was strange. Mama had always said that digimon partners picked up on their humans' mood and heart and responded accordingly. She'd probably be worried about this one.

But then, maybe he was happy so she could be happy. That would make sense.

"I had weird dreams, Sayo," he repeated, slower now. "What did you dream?"

Sayo thought about it. She was already forgetting her dreams. But there was something in them. Something she wanted very much. "I was home with everyone, I think," she said after a few seconds of struggle. "But you weren't there. It was happy but you weren't there."

She watched his face as he struggled to process this. "So… was it really happy without me?"

She frowned and tapped her cheek. "It was a different kind of happy. The one before you. Not the one with you."

Kouichi thought about this and leaned on her. "But you're happy now that I'm with you." He wasn't sure why this was so important, why there was this desperate clawing urge to be somewhere, but it was just so important to him that well, it honestly kind of made his brain hurt. And his chest too.

She nodded, squirming the arm he'd been on free to stroke his back. "Not really, but… I wanna be happy and Uncle says that means the most."

Kouichi made a face. "I wish you were happy."

Sayo's smile was sad and tired but she agreed and buried her face into his fur.

"We're going out," the woman announced one morning. "It's time to see the city, Sayo."

"City?" Kouichi asked through his meal. "Humans live on it?" He paused and corrected himself, though he didn't quite know why. "In it." Digimon did have cities, he thought, but mostly it was territories and towns and habitats. He was pretty sure that it was a human city that they were in now.

He was met with a winning smile. "That's right. We need to be familiar with our new home. Some of the others have been worried about you both. They don't want to listen when we tell them that you're very tired."

Sayo's lips twitched. "That's very nosy," she finally said.

Nao laughed. "My family has always been that way. What do you two say? Are you up for it?"

"I am!" And again, Kouichi didn't know why, but the idea of being outside was very, very appealing. He turned to Sayo. "Please Sayo? Let's go run around!"

Sayo bit her lip and then nodded. "Okay. We'll go together?"

The last words were directed at her aunt and uncle. Her uncle smiled. "There's no place I would rather be."

Her face brightened and she hurried to eat. Kouichi, being already done, watched the couple smile at each other and whisper and think they were quiet.

How silly. If they wanted to talk about his tamer, his very best tamer ever, they should just leave the room and make things peaceful. It would only be fair, right?

Still, Sayo didn't seem to mind. She finished and went to get dressed, leaving him alone with the adults now, who looked at him with thoughtful eyes.

"What?" he asked, staring back. He wasn't afraid of them, even if one did smell like light and fur.

Like Kouji, his brain supplied unhelpfully, even if the name did wiggle like a loose tooth. Which he'd never had. Could digimon have siblings after all?

He shook his head and picked up the dishes on his head-body. Those memories were important for sure, but for now, they were less important than Sayo. He could do something about Sayo. He couldn't do anything about these memories that for all he knew weren't important at all. Ever.

Sayo popped back to his side at that, a purple hat jammed firmly over her ears. Kouichi blinked at the hat and frowned. He think he had worn a hat once. It didn't look like that one, but that hat seemed familiar too, like a pair of cat ears "Do I get a hat too?" he asked. "I think I'd like a hat."

The adults smiled behind their hands and Sayo seemed to think about it. "When you're a bit bigger, so it'll fit right."

His tail wagged and he smiled. "I like that."

And he saw her smile and for the first time in the past few days, Kouichi felt content. Especially after his screaming dream. He couldn't even remember why he'd screamed.

Because outside the buildings were quiet, the sky was a warm blue and people were about. They smelled sad and happy and angry and he-

Missed someone.

He wished someone could see this.

"Mister Shinta?" he asked, trotting beside Sayo on stubby legs.

"Yes?"

"Can digimon have moms?"

He paused. "Sometimes. Do you think you had one?"

"I think so. I don't know where she is now though." He glanced at Sayo, who had been staring around at the buildings in some sad sort of awe. "Maybe she could be Sayo's mom too."

"Mayhaps," he agreed, though there was a strange note in the man's voice that he did not understand.

Kouichi bobbed a bit and paused. He turned his head, cocking it to the right to hear the sound.

"Kou?" Sayo was looking at him, purple eyes bleeding worry.

"Coming!" he raced after her and, once again, forgot he had ever had two spindly legs.

Kouji, Takuya observed, looked like trash. Yesterday's trash to be specfic. There were circles under his dark eyes, stark under his pale skin. His hair was lank, hastily brushed, clothes starting to lose thread. He was even slumped in his chair in the uncoolest way possible.

It was the only reason Takuya was letting him use his desk chair. That thing was too comfortable for just anyone.

But if you saw his eyes, the hope in them, the desperation burning in them, you'd think he was just fine.

Glancing at the others though, they all shared the same disbelief.

"They're sure?" Izumi ventured to say, after a moment. She fiddled with her hat, off in the summer heat. "I know our phones aren't back to normal… it's been hard to hide from my mom, but… how are they sure?"

"I mean we don't have much else to go off of," Takuya said, somewhat to be contrary and somewhat, smugly because he's right and he knows he is. "They're the mystical beings here. We're part super awesome mystical being."

"But another digital world?" She shook her head. "Like, another plane entirely?"

"It might not even be a different plane," Junpei reasoned. "Like just somewhere on ours or something."

"That's too hard to think about," Tomoki whined.

"It has to be a different one," Kouji said with a scowl. "Otherwise we wouldn't need our digivices."

"True..."

All of them sighed.

"So, okay, we may be able to find Kouichi's spirit." Takuya made a face. "But we need a working trailmon or something right?"

"Ofanimon contacted me." Kouji looked at his own D-Scanner. "Mine might be the key there."

Tomoki rubbed his head with his knuckles. "Let's go to the elevator!" he finally said. "It's better than sitting around here! It was fixed when we went back! So it could be fixed now!"

All of them looked at each other again and shrugged. It was a good a plan as any.

And though none of them were quite that close with Kouichi, heck not even Kouji was that close with Kouichi, that didn't mean that they didn't want to be. And that meant they selfishly, jealously, wanted to find him and save him and help him.

And regardless, he was their friend. He had died for them to save the world. That had to be worth something.

Wait for me, Nii-san, Kouji thought. This time, I'm finding you.

The thought of that filled him with something like hope.