AN: Here is the second to last chapter. I know I said that there would be three, but I decided to add one more. Here are the malapropisms: They Might Be Tyrants = They Might Be Giants, incinerated = insulted, fixtuate = fixate.
I hope you all enjoy.
Just as promised in her obituary, Maw Maw's funeral was held on Saturday at 11:00 am at Little White Chapel Church - the church the Chances attended and also the church that was able to get money for a new organ from the donations to Hope as Baby Jesus in the nativity, which is how Hope got a better label for the town to remember her by that wasn't "the murderer's baby".
Speaking of Hope, Jimmy and Sabrina were worried about her because she had distanced herself since she learned about Maw Maw's death. She didn't want to play with her siblings anymore, she had been getting lower grades than usual, and she wasn't talking to her friends that much.
Besides Delilah, Arnold, the Chances, and Maw Maw's other relatives, almost everyone from the town showed up - Billie the nurse, Barney, Frank, Shelley, the old people at her daycare that visited Maw Maw when she was bedridden, Dancing Dan, Rosa, Carlos, Annette, June Bug, their other children and grandchildren, Wally Phipps, Tyler, Dave the news reporter, Andrew, Donna, Marcus, Javier, that cop whose name nobody knew (Maw Maw and Virginia once TP-ed his house), Big Judy, Ricardo the former baseball player, Officer Ross, Vali, a surprisingly still-alive old lady Stevens, Elijah the bearded neighbor, Carl and his service pig, and so many others. Even Maw Maw's pot-smoking ex-boyfriend Hubert showed up.
Delilah even had some drama with her parents, finally standing up to them.
No wonder she was so mean, thought Virginia.
At the funeral, Jimmy, Burt, Virginia, Sabrina, Barney, Shelley, and Frank had speeches planned and written.
Frank said some creepy things (one of them being that Barbara June was sexy for an old woman), but he did mention the moment he "won" that giraffe for her at the Radish Festival.
Barney praised Maw Maw for all the things they did together, especially when she was good company for when he spent his birthday alone...despite having a surprise party thrown for him soon after. He also talked about the moment they got revenge on the widow of Wilfred's mistress in Los Angeles.
Sabrina mentioned the moment when she got into a fistfight with Maw Maw and all the moments when Maw Maw called her a boy or referred to her as Jimmy's husband.
Jimmy talked about how even though he didn't enjoy it, he was going to miss Maw Maw mistaking her for her deceased husband. He even brought up that moment he decided to go along with it and make a special memory for her by pretending to be Wilfred on their anniversary. He also drew a bunch of pictures that depicted Maw Maw's interesting life.
Burt talked about all the crazy things she did and mentioned the fun of when Maw Maw thought she was nine. He liked playing jacks with her.
Finally, it was Virginia's turn to give her epic speech.
"Be strong, you can do this," Burt encouraged with whispers as she stepped up from the pews.
When Virginia got to the podium, she took a deep breath and organized her two papers. She just looked at her family. Burt was smiling and giving her a thumbs up while Jimmy and his family were bunched together. Willie was on Sabrina's lap (and she was quietly whispering "Look, Grandma's going to give you a speech.") and Joy was sitting close to Jimmy and leaning on him, signaling that she was bored.
Oh, screw it! She thought, crumpling up the papers and then tossing them behind her, which caused a lot of looks of confusion for everyone in the church.
"What are you doing?" Burt mouthed.
"I'm just going to speak from my heart," explained Virginia. "She took care of me, and I had to take care of her the same way she did," sighed Virginia, trying to hold back her tears. "My father abandoned me when I was a baby and when I was two, my mother was killed by a duck. It's a sad and funny story. She and Paw Paw - may he rest in peace - took care of me ever since. Even when I got pregnant at 15, despite her being disappointed, she still let me and Burt and our son stay. On her 80th birthday, Burt and I figured out that she was getting Old Timer's disease. She gave us the push we needed to try to live on our own at that moment, but...then we couldn't move out because she needed us a lot more than ever. And since my first grandchild was born, the bond between Maw Maw and the rest of us has only strengthened."
Despite being mentioned, Hope just curled herself up in a fetal position and scooted herself away from Jimmy, Sabrina, Joy, and Willie. She buried her face into her knees.
"Even with all her crazy moments, spending the rest of her life with us has been great," Virginia continued. "She was a handful, but she was fun to be around and she was a joy. It will be odd having an empty room in the house and not going in there every morning and night to check on her or even go in there to visit her. Most of all, I still miss the moments when she would run around the house in nothing but a bra while eating pickles. Now, everyone can now toss Paw Paw's ashes into her coffin."
Everyone in the pews clapped and then grabbed the containers of Paw Paw's ashes that they had been holding. Maw Maw also wanted to have Wilfred close to her when she died, so her family decided that the best way to do that was to pour Wilfred's ashes into her coffin, which was the exact same coffin they used as a dinner table when Jimmy invited Hope's biological maternal grandparents over for Thanksgiving.
Now, the Chances plus Arnold, Barney, Frank, Shelley, and Delilah had gathered at Jimmy and Sabrina's house for the after-party. They were all still dressed in their black funeral attire. They were all gathered around in the living room talking.
Hope isolated herself on the porch separate from everyone and wanted to be alone while she read an I Survived book; this one was about the eruption of Mt. Saint Helens. Joy and Willie were sitting in the middle of the living room playing.
Everyone was sharing their greatest Maw Maw memories.
"I remember the moments when she ate the things she wasn't supposed to," Virginia sighed happily. "Like the lipstick when we got ready for the family portrait or even the pet canary. I now laugh at the moments she would put make-up on Burt and Jimmy in their sleep."
"How about the time she caught me peeing?" Burt chuckled.
"Remember when she slept around with that Hubert guy and smoked pot with him," Virginia reminisced and cringed. "She was like a 17-year-old trapped in an 87-year-old woman's body."
"Or when you left me to babysit her while you all went to a couple's retreat," added Barney. "I woke up in her bed, which was weird. But we both had a good time together on my 40th birthday. James, do you remember when you made videos of her and her jokes?"
Jimmy and Sabrina laughed at that memory of competing over their videos.
"Yeah, that was awesome," cheered Frank as he took a chug of his beer.
"Remember when Hope got stuck in Mom's shed and she jenga-ed her out while They Might Be Tyrants was playing," reminisced Jimmy.
"And then we traded pants," laughed Burt.
"Remember when she thought I was Wilfred instead of Jimmy," shared Burt, laughing at that thought. "She even barged into me and Virginia's room and pulled a gun on us."
"Sometimes, pretending to be Paw Paw was actually kind of fun," added Jimmy. "However, when I hid her away when Delilah came to visit, she was the worst store greeter. She incinerated the customers."
Everyone looked at Jimmy with shock.
"He means insulted," reassured Sabrina, to which everyone sighed with relief. "But yeah, it was nice to give her some special memories, even if they were false."
"I still think that's weird," winced Arnold as he took a sip of his wine.
"When Burt and I were going to second base in her bed, she immediately appeared outside the window and told me to get away from her husband," added Delilah, laughing with her now-husband, who was a good help in redeeming her. "I thought she was a ghost at the time because Ginny told me Maw Maw was dead."
"Aw, remember when you and I competed with the house?" Virginia rejoiced, glad that her rivalry with her cousin was now over. "And you broke your own arm."
"In hindsight, I can't believe I actually did that," cringed Delilah. "That was stupid."
While Virginia, Burt, and Delilah laughed out loud, Jimmy and Sabrina looked at Burt, completely weirded out by what Delilah just said.
"I'll explain later," said Burt.
"What about her crazy bucket list when you all thought the world would end in 2012?" Sabrina chortled at the memory of getting into a fistfight with Maw Maw and witnessing her go car roof surfing. "How about when she kept cock-blocking us when we tried to have a baby."
"Right, I forgot about pickle time," sighed Jimmy.
"I can't believe you tried to do it in our bed," scoffed Virginia jokingly.
"Hey! You're the ones who ditched us with Maw Maw," defended Jimmy.
"Remember when she paid Hippie Weirdo to kidnap Burt?" Virginia told. "It's hard to believe she really tried to break us up for 24 years."
"How about when she thought she was having an affair at my daycare with that Mel guy," reminded Shelley. "It's fun pretending to be the bartender for my elderly clients. It's sweet when I see them making new friends, especially my widows and widowers. However, the drama is interesting."
"Remember Maw Maw's magic brown?" Barney raised his eyebrow, who still harped on Virginia cheating almost 30 years ago so Jimmy could be the little pilgrim. He did that every late November or early December.
"Yes, I remember that," moaned Virginia. "You already proved it, so why do you still whisper that to me every year?"
"I'm sorry, it's just fun!" Barney replied.
"Well, Maw Maw's magic brown can't beat me taking nine-year-old Maw Maw trick-or-treating one Halloween," chuckled Virginia. "She dressed up as a kitty cat and we even TP-ed a cop's house that night."
Everyone gave Virginia some looks.
"Hey! We didn't know the bitch that wouldn't give us any candy was married to a cop," justified Virginia.
"How about when she mistook all of us for dangerous mongooses and then we were all locked up in the attic hiding from her," shared Jimmy. "That was scary. Hope was almost left an orphan."
"That was also the first time the universe proved to me that I could be a good mother by putting myself first," added Sabrina as she looked at her two youngest children playing with dolls. It was also cute that Willie liked to wear the costumes from Hope and Joy's dance recitals. She was thinking that maybe they should sign him up for dance classes as well.
They continued to talk about all the best memories of Maw Maw, such as when they busted her out of the nursing home, when she butchered Carl's service pig, when Burt and Virginia tried to go through Maw Maw's poop for a golden tooth, when she hooked up with a college student she met on video chat when she was topless, when she set her bra on fire at the Occupy Natesville protest, when she pretended to be protesting at an extra level and stealing Mayor Hellman's car, and even the moment when the Chances went into a cleaning frenzy to get rid of the germs and made her move into the greenhouse.
Most of all, the best memory was discovering Maw Maw's mother.
"How about when we discovered Maw Maw's mother," Barney reminisced.
"It was so sweet," grinned Jimmy.
"Until she died in the bathroom," continued Burt.
Right on cue, Hope was walking back inside and then just ran to her room to slam the door.
"I'll go talk to her," decided Jimmy, following Hope into her room.
Jimmy gently knocked on Hope's door. "Can I come in please?"
"Okay," the muffled voice on the other end said.
Jimmy slowly opened the door and saw his first born child lying on her bed on her side, facing the wall. Her curly blonde hair, which was now starting to naturally turn into a slightly dirty blonde shade, was covering the pillow.
"Are you okay?" He asked, sitting down on the foot of her bed. "Is something bothering you?"
"Okay, fine! Yes!" She snapped, immediately flipping her body to the other side and sitting straight up.
Jimmy was startled a bit by Hope's loud tone of voice, but he went ahead and validated her feelings and asked her to tell him what was bothering her.
"Are you afraid to die?" He guessed.
"Yes!" Hope confessed tearfully. "But that's not all. I'm also scared of people I love dying."
Jimmy let Hope's revelation sink in. The thought of losing someone you care about is a scary thought, and he was definitely afraid of his children dying before him or Sabrina. He already lost one child before she was even that, and after that, the thought of losing Hope, Joy, or Willie (or all three of them) was something he hated thinking about. He didn't want to outlive any of his children.
And while almost everyone also expects to outlive their parents and grandparents, nobody is really prepared for that.
"I don't want to lose you, Mom, Grandma, Grampa, or Great-Grandpa Arnold," sobbed Hope. "And I don't want Joy or Willie to die before me."
Jimmy just pulled Hope into his embrace and let her cry into his chest. "Is that why you've been acting so distant lately?"
Hope nodded, burying her face into her father's shirt. "I can't stop thinking about those days coming when you guys die."
Now, Jimmy was thinking about the dreaded days to come of his parents dying.
"I mean, you'll survive without Grandma and Grampa and you and your siblings will still have me and your mom. And hopefully once me and your mom die, you, Joy, and Willie will still have each other and your own families," reassured Jimmy. "I know the thought is scary, but you are stronger than you know. You can survive anything. It's a reality of life."
"I know," sniffed Hope. "I just can't get the thought out of my head. Why do people have to die?"
"To make life important," answered Jimmy. "Just...don't fixtuate on it too much. Just live your life and spend it with the people you love who are still here. Live in the moment. It's like when I had you. When I had you, I felt that my life had a purpose and a meaning. Live in the present moment and try not to focus on the future too much. Constantly living in fear isn't healthy."
"It's actually pronounced fixate, Dad. Anyway, how can I do that?" Hope asked, looking up at Jimmy. "I tried that by reading my book, but the thought keeps coming back."
"Would you like to come back and join the party?" Jimmy offered, smiling. "We can play a board game? Do you think that would help?"
"I think so, okay. I would love to," decided Hope, getting up from her bed and then running her fingers through her dirty blonde hair to untangle it.
"That's my girl!" Jimmy clapped her on the back and then side-hugged her as they walked out of her room.
"There she is! She emerges!" Burt exclaimed as he saw Hope and Jimmy appear back in the living room after coming down from the hall. "And she finally has a smile on her face!"
"Shelley is playing Greedy Granny with Joy and Willie? Would you like to join? Or would you like to play War with Barney, Frank, Delilah, and Arnold" Sabrina offered as she wrapped her arm around her oldest daughter. Even if the game was for little kids, Hope still loved to play games with her younger siblings.
"I would love to," nodded Hope. "But I think I would like to play War instead."
"Alright, go ahead," encouraged Sabrina.
Hope escaped her parents embrace and then sat down on the floor in the living room to join Barney, Frank, Delilah, and Arnold in their card game.
Virginia, Burt, Jimmy and Sabrina looked at the three children playing with happiness. For Virginia, seeing their grandchildren have fun really lightened the mood.
Hope definitely looked a lot like a mini Virginia with her curly blonde hair and having a little bit of Lucy in her appearance (it was much better than having Lucy's personality, though)...but she looked more like Virginia thankfully. Joy had her father's blue eyes and her mother's jet black hair, looking like a mini Sabrina. Willie, on the other hand, had hair as blonde as Hope's and looked just like Jimmy did when he was a toddler, and he had Sabrina's brown eyes.
For Burt and Virginia, seeing their grandchildren having fun was making them feel better and soothing their sadness. It reminded them that there is still new life and made them happy to be reminded of that.
AN: I hope you all enjoyed. The last chapter will be up soon. Please review :)