Chapter 19: Chapter 19
Lessons Learnt
Chapter 19
She was awake long before the alarm went off. Savouring his body, hugging him close to her own naked body. Looking at him, drinking him in, his profile, his smell, and his sounds. Enjoying those last few moments with him, before reality kicked in.
"Morning." He was awake too. It was obvious he'd been awake for a while. Neither of them wanting to disturb the other's sleep, even though neither of them really had slept. He pulled her even closer, he too was savouring her. Breathing in her scent, stroking her hair and eventually he kissed her.
"You ok?" He asked. A pointless question. They were far from ok.
"No. But yeah. Sad I guess. It's been a good house hasn't it?" She couldn't raise her face to look at him; she wasn't brave enough to take in the hurt she knew would be there.
This was their last morning together. In a few hours Elvis would be picking her up. They were deployed yet again. Away to a sensitive, unmentionable place where Molly couldn't even tell Charles of her destination. She was nervous. She really had to be on her game and emotionally she didn't feel as though she was. Her life at home was about to be torn apart, and Molly could do nothing about it. She just had to leave and serve. Do her job. While Charles moved on and did his.
It was a few weeks until Christmas. Charles' last few days at his school loomed and then he would pack up the house and move into the new one in time for Christmas. The hope was that Molly would be back by then and they could spend their first Christmas together. Any time together would be good. They had made tentative plans about being together over the festive period, knowing that in all honesty Molly couldn't guarantee she'd be back. Both knew the chances were slim but they both pretended and planned. The alternative was too painful to consider. This time last year they were apart. They hoped that wasn't going to be true for this year too.
Both were also very mindful and sad that their time living together was coming to an end. It had been short, but it had been perfect. Charles' new home would always include her, but the reality would be with them living so far away from one another they would only see each other at weekends, and sometimes that may not be possible. Of course they made all the usual promises lovers make in long distance relationships. How they both would try, they loved each other too much not too, but they both deep down knew how easy it was for such relationships to fall apart.
"You all packed?" He asked. Another pointless question. Molly was Queen of Organisation at times like these.
"Yeah. I guess. Need to get up. Need to get ready." She sighed making absolutely no move what so ever. His body warmth, their closeness too hard for her to leave.
"Will you able to skype?" He asked. His third pointless question of the morning. He was on a roll….. He already knew the answer.
"I don't know. Elvis thinks probably not. I'll text if I can. Maybe even write too. Going to miss you." She was finding it hard to bear the pain in her heart, a physical pain in her chest. One that threatened to overtake her sense of duty on loyalty to the team.
"Oh Molly I'll miss you too. Always do." They eventually stared into each eyes and kissed, their sadness between them radiating between their bodies.
It was soon time for Molly to leave. Charles sat on the bottom stairs watching her put the last of her kit in her Bergan. Realising this would be the last time she'd ever stand in the hall way of their home. The last time she'd ever be part of his life in the tiny home they both loved. Elvis' car sounded in the street.
She leaned down to kiss him.
"Love you. Soooo much. Bye." She squeezed her eyes shut. This all seemed too soon. Too permanent for her, for her heart.
Standing to envelope her totally. Using this as a means of defence. This way she couldn't see the tears in his eye, that were threatening to roll down his cheek.
"Love you too. Good bye Molly. Please stay safe." He could bear it no longer; he had to look at her. "Come back to me." He pleaded staring into her moist eyes. Resting his forehead on hers.
"I will. Don't worry." It was a deal. A contract. She would not be the one to break it. She would come back to him, and with that she swung her heavy load over her shoulder and walked out the door. Charles didn't watch her go, or the car drive away. He closed the door silently, and sat on the stairs again. His hand clasped out in front of him, balance on his long legs. He just stared silently at his feet, willing her to come back to him, soon.
Several weeks later saw Charles settling in to his new home. He had heard very little from Molly since she left. It was expected, the nature of the place she operated in, but still not appreciated by either of them. They both still hoped that she'd be home for Christmas; however Charles was concerned as her last letter spoke of how hard she was finding it, both emotionally and physically. It was unusual for Molly to admit anything in her letters that would give him cause for concern. Yet here she had the past few times, more than complained, she had doubted her ability to cope on this mission.
He felt helpless; there was little he could say to help her. He had to depend on platitudes in his letters to her. Offering verbal support as best as he could in the frequent love letters he wrote. His letters he knew she treasured, but this time he was unsure if she actually received them all.
He tried to use his time productively, tried to get his new home ready for her, and ready for Christmas. His parents had visited and had given the seal of approval. Disappointed thought that Molly and Charles seemed to have taken a step backwards in their relationship. Mary feared there would never be grandchildren at this rate. Charles could only role his eye at her. He'd learnt a long time ago not to bite back when his mother made such comments. She just didn't understand that Charles and Molly like it just being the two of them for now.
Charles stepped back and saw all his clothes hanging in the wardrobe. Just his. None of Molly's, it felt wrong. He felt incomplete. He was used to fighting for cupboard space with Molly. He wished he still was. There were no physical reminders of her at all in this house. Everything was his. He sat down on the edge of it the bed running his fingers over his scar, a bad habit he'd developed. It smoothed the puckered skin and made him feel oddly relaxed. As if touching this horrible reminder made him realise how lucky he was in so many ways. Lucky he survived, and lucky that she had come back to him. He missed Molly so much. Not just the sex, but her. Her giggles. Her cheeky way of catching him out. Her tenderness for him. Her tornado like ability to get things done. Just everything about her, and he hoped she'd be back home soon, because being without her made him all wrong.
The doorbell rang. Charles was surprised as he knew next to no one in the village or school. He saw through the glass an outline of a female wearing green combats. To him it only meant one thing. He excitedly hurried to the door, heart racing wildly and flung it open.
Disappointed filled his world…. then fear. Standing at the door was not Molly to surprise him but Jacki. Her standing her in front of his front door, miles from her own home could only mean one thing….. Bad news.
He managed to speak. He had a semblance of control over his emotions still.
"Fuck. Jacki? What? Oh my God please say she's ok." He wasn't embarrassed as to how his words had started to sob out from him.
"Charles. No. It's ok. Well kind of. They're Ok. At least they will be. It's going to be ok we think." She grabbed onto his arms. Unsure if he was processing what she was saying. She knew what he felt like. The emotions he was feeling mirrored her own several hours ago when she received the news. With that Jacki lead him through to the front room, she sat him down and explained. Slowly in short sentences to help him understand.
"They are back. Up at Birmingham. Elvis. Molly, Spanner and some others. They are under special observation. In secure isolation for now. As a precaution."
"What? I don't understand. What happened?" He struggled with the news. He was struggling with his breathing.
"It appears they've come to contact with some unknown chemical substance. They all stated showing signs of poisoning and such symptoms. Vomiting, difficulty breathing, and poor vision. The MoD don't know what it is. So they have been flown home. Isolated. They are being tested as we speak, but need to remain isolated until they know what they are dealing with."
"Are they ok? What's going to happen? Can we see them?" His mind clearing, he now needed answers to the million questions he had.
"They are being observed. Looks like Molly and Elvis had the worst symptoms. They don't know how bad things are. But at the moment they are all walking, talking, and only have symptoms of nausea."
"Can we go and see them?" He jumped up. Now all he needed was Molly. To see her, if he was unable to touch her.
Jacki explained that she would drive them to Birmingham. She'd been lucky; she had been able to have a brief talk with Elvis, strictly off the record. He had needed to ensure that those he loved were taken care of even when he was in such a hard situation himself. Elvis knew knowledge was power in these situations, and knew also that loved ones were sometimes overlooked in the receiving of this information so he had called Jacki, someone he could trust, and was so grateful to hear her organised efficient voice on the other end of the line. He explained their situation, and how she could help. Both Molly and Elvis were unsure if Charles could drive at night with his eye, so Elvis had asked Jacki to collect him on her way up, so they both could visit. Elvis was grateful for Jacki, she gave something to his life he'd never had before in a women, he depended on her... while Charles was so grateful that Elvis thought of him in this situation, and he'd get to see Molly.
The car journey seem long and the two friends spoke of many things to keep them occupied. Elvis had asked that Molly's parents for now were not told until more official information could be given. Their lives weren't in imminent danger; there was no harm in waiting. When Jacki told Charles this piece of news she broke down crying, loudly breaking her heart
"Sorry." She sniffed. "Must look as mess. It's just I love him you see. Elvis. That egotistical wanker. I love him."
"He'll be alright. They both will." Charles laid his hand over Jacki's. watching her stoical reserve start to break. Hoping he was right.
"I know. Just don't know what I'd do without him. Who would have thought? Me and Elvis." She smiled at the memory of him.
Over the years Charles had seen many girls cry over Elvis, Jacki wasn't the first, but he kind of felt that maybe she'd be the last. They both seemed very serious. He wondered on Elvis' opinion of Jacki, that fact that it was her he turned to first, for comfort and help, |Charles wondered if he felt the same. It was a new side of Elvis.
When they arrived at the hospital with Jacki's military knowledge and Elvis foresight they got to their ward with minimal fuss. As soon as they rounded the corridor they both caught sight of Elvis' broad shoulders turned away from them. The sound of their footsteps made him turn.
"Oh my God Elvis." Jacki cried, running up to him. He was no longer in isolation.
He saw her instantly and sprinted down the corridor only to sweep her up into his arms and kiss her silently, passionately. Almost squeezing the life out of her. Not caring who was looking.
"Shit Jacki. I love you so much. Thank God your here. Fucking missed you." He spun her round and held onto her, not allowing her to escape from his arms. He was past caring about his image; he just needed to hold her. She silently wept on his shoulder. The relief spilling out of her.
Despite the circumstances Charles took a moment and could see that Elvis was very much in love with Jacki. For the first time Charles could see Elvis' love seemed genuine and pure. Not built on looks, or falseness, but genuine soul bonding love.
Elvis turned to Charles.
"Don't worry mate she's fine. I was let out of isolation an hour or so. So were the rest of the lads. It wasn't anything to worry about. Probably just a bug we've all got. They are just running a few more checks though on Molly for now." He held onto Charles' shoulder as he broke the news, to reassure him and to steady him. All the while he still held firmly onto Jacki.
"She's ok though isn't she? I'll be allowed to see her?" He almost pleaded to his friend.
"Yeah mate give them ten. Then she'll be out too."
Charles spent the next ten minutes pacing the floor. Elvis trying to calm him, explaining again and again it wasn't poisoning, just a bug. Everyone had just been super cautious about their symptoms due to where their operation had been. They now were back for good, clean bill of health and had extended leave over Christmas and New Year. Molly was fine. Elvis was unsure just how much Charles actually heard. The worry coursing out of his body until he felt a tap on his arm;
"Missed me?" She beamed at him. Unsure what to do next. She felt responsible for all the worry.
"Oh Molly. Thank God." He sighed so quietly into her as he pulled her rapidly towards him. She returned the embrace and almost melted into his arms. She had missed him too. So much.
"I love you." He kissed her lips staring into her eyes. He could see she was tired, and he could also see anxiety in her face. "You ok?"
"Yeah. Clean bill of health… I love you to." She stared at his face. "Hey no eye patch. Get you." She smiled at him.
In the rush to see her he had forgotten to wear it for the first time ever in public. He now suddenly became very conscious of his eye. He put his hand up to cover it
"Don't." She whispered. "Don't ever hide it away. It's you and your mine and I love you…..I love everything about you …... scar and all..."
She still wore her greens. Her hair was still pulled back; still smart despite what she had been through. She still wore her professional mask. But Charles could see there was something that was worrying Molly. He knew now was not the time, he could ask, but she wouldn't tell him, not here. In the car ride home Molly slept. Her usual default habit when she returned back from deployments, but she cuddled into Charles all the way, clinging on to him. He was more than willing to hold her; there had been too many weeks when he hadn't been able to hold her.
He stayed awake musing over her mood, and watching Elvis and Jacki in the front seats. Elvis driving as he thought Jacki would be too tired, despite his ordeal. He was putting her first even after what he'd been through. This move alone made Charles realise his love for Jacki, and watching him repeatedly bring her hand to his mouth to tenderly kiss only reinforced this. All was well in Elvis' life, finally Charles thought.
Once they arrived at Charles' house, and Elvis approved of it, despite the late hour Jacki and Elvis set off back to their camp. Charles appreciated the tact his friends had, but also knew they wanted their own welcome home time. Molly walked herself around the house. Inspecting all that Charles had achieved, but her heart wasn't in it. She was mentally chewing something over.
"You ok?" He gently asked. "Tired?"
"Yes". Was all she meekly answered. She felt a fool. It was her who had raised the alarm about their symptoms, feeling that they were unusual. When it was confirmed as a stomach bug for the boys she felt foolish. When she received her own diagnosis she felt super foolish. She should have known.
"Do you want to go to bed?" He moved to hold her, but she pulled away.
"Yes, well no not now. Charles we have to talk."
"Ok. I guessed as much. Was everything ok at the hospital?"
"Yeah, as far as the stomach bug and everything. The thing is Charles". She led him to sit down. "The thing is Charles they did some other test on me and that."
"God Molly. What's wrong? What did they find." He had known as soon as he had seen her that there was more to her illness than a stomach bug.
"Shit Charles. My symptoms and that weren't the same as the lads. They'd be going on a lot longer. Anyway they did a test." Here she took a deep breath. The next words out of her mouth need to be delivered without breaking their worlds apart. Yet Molly was very sure that once they were delivered that's exactly what would happen.
He looked at her expectantly, nervous, telling himself that there was nothing they couldn't get through.
"I'm pregnant Charles."