The greed with which Joker kissed her was astounding. It seemed like every sexual impulse he ever felt toward her came out through a combination of lips and tongue. Celine did her best to keep up with his frenzy, but truth be told, his kissing was turning her mind to mush. Whatever oxygen stored in her lungs, Joker stole. Whatever corner of the mouth her tongue retreated to just to catch a break, Joker found. And tamed. Over and over and over until her brain struggled to string two words together.
Mercifully, he leaned back before she passed out, studying her with a gaze so hoody she instantly sought to take refuge in them.
"You've got five seconds to tell me to stop."
Though his breathing was labored, his voice held steady. She clung to it, blinking through the heady fog that'd invaded.
"Do you want me to?"
His gaze was unblinking. The pressure on her cheeks increased.
"I don't want you moping," he answered. "That I didn't give you a way out. This is your way out. Three seconds."
She shook her head.
"Why would I-."
"Time's up."
He cut her off with a toe-curling kiss, arms dropping to her lower back and tugging her into him until they were pressed chest to chest. She in turn weaved her hands around his neck, and into his hair; offering it a pull any time she was getting desperate for air.
This time around, Celine was much more present in the kiss and her hands much more restless. One stayed attached to his roots – Joker loved the pulling, if his mix of grunts and groans wasn't a giveaway – while the other somehow found the space to slip in between their bodies. It followed a trail down his navel before diving into his sweatpants.
He abruptly pulled away; a strangled sort of sound getting trapped in his throat. The look in his eyes nearly bowled her over. His pupils had all but consumed his irises, and he seemed incapable of looking at anything other than her. There was no mistaking what he was attempting to relay: I am going to devour you.
She stuttered out a breath, fingertips resting atop his pubic hair, so very near their end destination. The teasing little digs her fingers made into his flesh only served to darken his already near-black eyes.
For a moment, neither moved; wholly content to soak in the mutual desire reflected back at each other.
"B-bedroom?" she managed to ask.
He responded by picking her up, prompting a surprised "Ooo!" to scramble out of her throat. She just managed to get her calves wrapped around his waist before he guided them to her bedroom.
The hold he had on her was scrumptious. Every muscle strained to keep her attached to him like she was a life raft in the middle of the Pacific. Even when they finally reached the bed, he refused to loosen his grip.
"You're ah- you're gonna do something for me."
There was no mistaking the command in his voice.
Celine opened her mouth, but nothing came out.
Depends on what it is, she wanted to say, but didn't. It seemed like Joker was testing her trust in him, and she suddenly felt like a schoolgirl, desperate to meet her teacher's request.
"Okay."
His smile was one of triumph.
"I'm gonna set you down," he told her. "And you're gonna spread your legs. No closing them. I won't be denied the sight of what's mine."
Good. God.
It was the first time his possessiveness genuinely turned her on. She found herself nodding a little too enthusiastically.
Joker smirked, both with his lips and his eyes. He lowered her to the bed and released her. He then took a couple steps back, right hand twitching beside him. She wasn't sure what he wanted to touch more – her or the tent that had formed in his sweatpants.
She nearly forgot his order altogether. Every nerve was on fire. Her groin ached to be held down by his.
"Tick-tock, Cece."
She jolted out of her daze and slowly parted her legs, trembling when his eyes fell to her panties. He finally gave into temptation and palmed himself, bottom lip getting mauled between his teeth.
"There," he said. "Keep them right there."
It was unnerving just how receptive to his demands she was becoming. Though, not all that surprising. Having taken as long a hiatus from sex as she had, it was only natural she'd disconnect from her more carnal self. The self that came out when animal instincts took over and her private parts did the talking.
As it was turning out she was much more submissive than previously assumed. And Joker was getting firsthand proof of just how much.
"Unbutton my shirt," was his next order. "Slowly."
Her throat was parched. If she didn't need him so badly, she'd have run to the kitchen and guzzled down a liter of water.
But his gaze and body posture informed her she wouldn't be leaving this room unfucked. And that he'd take the most perverse pleasure in wrestling her back into the bed until she was.
With shaky hands, she started with the top button. It didn't occur to her until now that she held some power over him. His pleasure was dependent upon her compliance with his orders.
Let's see how much I can get away with.
"Like this?" she asked innocently; blinking slowly, deliberately.
Joker's cock twitched through his sweatpants. He gritted his teeth and threw them off, kicking them into the wall.
She bit her lip, eyes dropping to his cock.
It was getting to be too much. His confidence coupled with seeing him fully naked for the first time coupled with the realization that he was comfortable enough around her to be the first one exposed had her struggling not to bring her thighs together and further stroke the growing friction between them.
"You're fucking gorgeous."
It came out of her mouth before she could think it through.
Joker tilted his head, brows uniting in...confusion? Yes, definite confusion. He even had the audacity to glance behind him just to make sure he was the only other man in the room.
No one's ever told him.
She buried her smile. It wouldn't do to make him think she was being disingenuous.
Instead, her eyes returned to his fully erect cock. She licked her lips and brought her free hand down to her panties.
"No."
Her hand froze, mere inches away from the damp spot in desperate need of attention. She looked up, watching him from beneath her lashes.
"I ah don't remember telling you that you could touch."
"It's my body," she returned, lifting her chin.
Joker inhaled sharply, ignoring the violent twitch his cock underwent.
"Wrong," he rumbled back, lapping at his scars. "Though, it's cute you think so."
She arched a brow before pressing two fingers into her clitoris and offering it a series of heavy rubs.
It was like she'd unleashed a beast from its cage. One second, she was scratching the itch that just wouldn't quit, the next, Joker had closed the distance between them, latched onto her ankles and yanked her toward him until his groin was the only thing preventing her from dropping off the bed. With how erect his cock was, it was his balls pressing into her panties. And god if that didn't make her gush even harder.
The collision had also sent her tumbling onto her back, arms falling uselessly on either side of her.
"Now." His pelvis retreated an inch, just for his hand to slip into her panties; two fingers sinking into her heat. "Let's try that again, hm?"
She gasped at the contact, legs wrapping around him, heels digging into his back. It was with this leverage she used to propel herself back into a sitting position.
The bed offered her height, but with the way Joker leaned over her, she still felt dwarfed by his stature. And his eyes...if she thought he'd been hungry before, now he was malnourished.
"If your hand goes anywhere near this pussy." He thumbed her clit hard, pulling a breathless gasp out of her. "It's getting tied to the bed frame. We understand?"
She swallowed tightly, overwhelmed by the nearness, unable to think straight as his fingers and thumb worked in tandem with the other to heighten her arousal.
"I didn't hear that, Cece," he groused, fingers speeding up. "That mouth is always so god damn eager to debate me. Not hearing much out of it right now."
"Jesus-." One hand bunched up the blanket beneath her, the other latched onto Joker's shoulder so she had something solid to grip. "-yes. No...touching...self."
He grinned, slowing his pace.
"You know...you're not the first brat I've encountered," he mused. "Though, you will be the most satisfying one to tame."
"Oh, fuck you," she sobbed, hand slipping off his shoulder, only for her head to drop in its place.
Her body felt like it was physically vibrating. The ascension up the peak was just as powerful as the rapid drop backwards. His shoulder served as her source of support, quickly becoming damp by her heavy exhales.
He chuckled hard enough to make his body quake. With his free hand, he patted the top of her head.
"Such gall on you," he teased, pushing down on her clit and not letting up. "Think I prefer ya mewling like the little bunny you are."
His thumb disappeared, only for index finger and middle to trap her bud between them.
Celine couldn't help it. She bit into Joker's shoulder, trapping the delirious cry yearning to break through. Both hands were now latched onto his biceps, nails slicing into his skin.
What sounded suspiciously like a low whine nearly burst from his throat.
It was quickly becoming a rendezvous of give and take. A tug of war for who had power over the other.
Though Joker could deny it all he wanted, secretly, he was pleased Celine was maintaining her backbone in this arena too. He'd not let on just how truthful he'd been. This was infinitely more satisfying. And Celine, well, she was just trying to remember when masturbating ever felt this good. This encompassing. Not only was her body possessed, but Joker was bent on claiming her mind too. She was finding it hard to think of reasons why he shouldn't.
I feel like a virgin again.
Joker's index and middle began to move opposite each other, putting just the right amount of tension on her sensitive clit.
She trembled. It wasn't until her fingers slipped down his back that she realized they were wet.
Somehow, she found the strength to lift both hands. A mixture of sweat and blood now coated the tips.
"Oh," she breathed out. "I think I made you bleed."
He pinched her clit. One scarred cheek scraped against hers.
"Good."
She watched through heavy lids as he removed his fingers from her pussy and slipped them into his mouth, never once breaking eye contact. A crude grumble, followed by the noisiest sucking nearly had her seeing stars.
It was filthy.
He then removed his fingers and brought them to her bottom lip. Her juices were glistening back, intermixed with his saliva.
Her mouth parted, welcoming the digits.
She was filthy.
Joker's grunt of approval was quickly becoming one of her favorite sounds. She took her time lathering his fingers, hollowing out her cheeks.
"Good girl," he husked, cupping her cheek as she continued to lavish his fingers.
Below them, his cock was digging into her stomach; precum smearing into his dress shirt.
"You like it when I tell you you've been good don't ya?"
Her response was to bite down on his fingers. Not enough to hurt, just remind him to choose his words wisely.
Joker's grip on her cheek tightened. His eyes fluttered a bit.
"Mm...yeah."
The lack of adequacy in his response had her doing mental cartwheels.
This...this was true power. Turning one of the most intelligent men she knew into a garbled mess. Was anything on this planet more euphoric?
"I should've fucked you in the church."
Her eyes widened. She slowly removed his fingers from her mouth. Joker in turn wrapped them around her wrist. His eyes anchored her to the bed.
"In front of the other hostages," he clarified, voice deepening. "In front of my men. Fucked you until I became your God."
"I-." She swallowed. "Is this a thought you have often?"
"Not a thought. A... regret." His eyes narrowed. Whether he was aware of it or not, his thumb had begun stroking her jawline. "But I didn't know ya then. Not like I do now."
There was a fondness coloring his tone that was so unlike him. He seemed in awe of something. Of...her.
"T-that's-." She searched for the right words, blushing beneath his praise. "-an ambitious goal. Convincing someone to convert to you. No dick is that divine."
In two seconds flat he had her flipped over on her stomach. A finger snapped the waistband of her panties, causing her to stifle a squeal.
"I love converting the non-believers most," he relayed, showering her with a firm spank before kneading the flesh. "Breaking down their...resistance. You all succumb in the end...lost little lambs, praising their shepherd for guiding them to the light."
Her fingers dug into the blanket, desperate to have a hold of something.
"Lotsa talking, Jack," she managed out, biting her lip when he reigned down another spank. "'M starting to think I was right. You're all rooster and no cock."
He went deathly still behind her. She longed to twist around and view his expression, but the ambiguity of the situation only served to heighten the electrifying tension permeating the room.
Seconds passed. She began to worry her comment had the unintended effect. Maybe she'd pushed one button too many?
"Can't figure out," he finally spoke. "Which hole of yours to gag first."
She meant to respond, but froze upon feeling the tip of a blade against her spine. The pressure was barely there, but this did little to assuage Celine's worries.
"Mm, not so mouthy now, are ya?"
He slowly trailed the tip of his blade down the length of her spine. A warm hand wrapped around her waist.
"Relax, relax," he murmured. "Keep shaking like that and I'm gonna nick ya."
She released a deep breath. Her body was struggling to believe his words.
"That'd be a fun dose of irony, wouldn't it?" He pushed his cock against her ass, giggling a little. "Finally giving yourself to me, just for me t'a-."
He paused upon reaching the band of her panties.
"-skin ya alive."
His blade slipped beneath her panties. In two quick motions, Joker had turned her undergarment into shreds.
He yanked the offending fabric off her and tossed it behind him. The knife too was – thankfully – discarded.
"Now, what've we got here?"
One of his thumbs pressed down on the center of her left butt cheek.
Celine gasped, both hands shooting behind her. She attempted to bat his hand away, but Joker grabbed both wrists and secured them firmly atop her lower back.
Her face burned.
"Don't look," she pleaded. "It's...embarrassing."
At the center of her butt cheeks were two sections where the skin indented slightly. It didn't matter how much weight she lost or gained, that area of skin never seemed to fully fill in.
During her teenage years, she thought this to be a flaw. Women were meant to have full bottoms.
Fortunately, she'd learned to stop comparing herself to others and love herself as is.
In this particular moment, however, beneath Joker's open gaze, she realized this was an insecurity she never fully parted with.
"What's embarrassing?" Joker demanded, sounding genuinely perplexed. "You've got ah...butt dimples. They're heh pretty. Just wanna...bury my face in 'em."
Her face somehow got even hotter. The mix of embarrassment and his complimenting was doing a number on her heartbeat.
"You think so?" she asked quietly.
He didn't answer. Instead, he sunk down to his knees so he was eye-level with her ass. Her arms remained restrained behind her.
She jumped upon feeling his breath so close to her privates. Before she could question him, Joker brushed the tip of his nose against her right cheek. Then, he bit down, eliciting a body-quaking cry out of her.
He didn't keep her flesh hostage for long, but long enough to leave a mark that'd easily last a couple of weeks. Then, as if to congratulate his own artwork, he licked at the bite, groaning as he did so.
Celine tried holding off the impending orgasm brewing within her. Tears were threatening to fall. She doubted Joker was aware of how kind his gesture was. Taking a perceived flaw and aggressively transforming it into a strength. She didn't think she'd ever see her butt in the same negative light again.
"One of many to come," he said so lowly she suspected it was more to himself, thumb brushing over the mark.
She rubbed her thighs together upon hearing his promise. Joker immediately took note.
"Aw, poor little bunny's soaked." His fingers gathered the slickness that'd dripped out of her, smearing it back into her pussy. "Think it's time we give her what she needs, hm? Unless she likes having her cunt admired. Couldn't think of a better way to spend my day. Admiring the prettiest pussy on the planet."
She whimpered. Her entire neck was saturated with sweat. She did her best to lift her hips up, but when Joker wanted to weigh someone down there was no fighting against it.
"Please."
It was said so softly she swore she thought it rather than said it aloud.
"What was that?" Joker asked, resting his scarred cheek against the cheek he'd bitten. "Little hard of hearing, Cece."
She gulped, squeezing her eyes tight. Pride and arousal were dueling within. She wanted them both to win.
"Jack." She wiggled her bottom from side to side. "Convert me."
His groan was one of deep satisfaction.
"With pleasure."
He got to his feet, but not before issuing a final love bite directly overtop his mark.
Celine did her best not to tense up but reality chose that moment to knock her square in the head.
I'm doing this. I'm actually doing this. I'm letting a mass murderer fuck me.
Joker released her wrists. He slid an arm beneath her and tugged upward. She got the hint, repositioning herself so weight was placed on her hands and knees.
He's more than that. It isn't fair to let fear determine the course of this relationship.
This thought calmed her a little.
It's nerves, I think. I've had sex before, but never with someone it truly...mattered with. Not with...my soulmate. Its normal to be nervous.
Joker's hands settled on her hips. She was instantly bathed in an overwhelming feeling of groundedness.
"Mm, no, no, no, this won't do."
She risked a peek behind her.
"I- is something wrong?"
He wasn't shy about hiding his frustration, eyes focused on her back.
"There'll be time to do it that way. Yes, yes. All the time in the world."
An odd-sounding chuckle escaped him.
She was pretty sure he was conversing with himself. What about was the question.
"Change of plans," he announced, meeting her gaze. "Flip over."
Hesitantly, she did so.
He could read her confusion clear as day. His fingers twitched.
"You're...not them."
She didn't understand, but it took great effort for him to say it. That much was obvious.
"Them?"
He shook his head.
"Them," he repeated with more force. "With them, I didn't need to see...their faces."
It finally clicked.
"Jack." She chose her words very carefully. "I honestly don't care how you fuck me. Just...so long as you're touching me in some way, I'll be content."
He cracked his neck to the left. She got the impression this was done to relieve some stress.
"Never pictured I'd be the romantic one in this scenario."
His slightly horrified expression made her grin.
She met his eyes with a cocked brow.
"And how often exactly have you pictured this scenario?"
His smirk was lecherous. Sentimental time was over as quickly as it began.
"You uh-." He stroked his cock slowly. "-might run away if I tell the truth."
It should've been creepy. Seriously creepy. That he'd been thinking so repetitively about fucking her.
Unfortunately, the muscles in her groin disagreed. All they knew was desire. And it loved that the man in front of her had no reservations about unloading his own on her.
"We've had sex in my dreams," she found herself admitting. "Dream you is... really into corporal punishment."
He leisurely began to approach her, amusement dancing in his eyes.
"Yeah?" he rumbled. "Think I know the answer to this, but ah...did you deserve it?"
She tried hard to look away from his cock. Okay, maybe not too hard. To be fair, it was difficult to focus on anything else other than the sudden urge to take him in her mouth.
God damn, I didn't know I could crave like this.
"Mm... last time I ah checked," he reminded, knees nearly touching the edge of the bed. "My eyes weren't down there. The nerve of you to objectify me. Tsk tsk tsk, thought you were raised better."
She snapped out of it and looked up. Deviousness gleamed in Joker's gaze. He knew exactly how much he was turning her on.
"What uh-." She swallowed and cleared her throat. "What was the question?"
Her heart pounded as Joker lowered himself over the mattress, resting his weight on his hands. His body posture was the epitome of animalistic. It was somewhat frightening just how badly she wanted him to pounce.
"Too many clothes, wouldn't you say?"
His eyes were glued to the sliver of skin revealed to him from the two undone buttons of his shirt.
She nodded, fingers fumbling to get the shirt off. It was flung off the bed not ten seconds later.
Greediness bled back into Joker's expression as he stared at her chest. He licked his bottom lip, gaze narrowing.
"Bra too. Slowly."
It was starting to feel like a cord was forming between them. One powerful, electric, invisible cord that they were funneling all of their sexual energy into.
Celine had certainly never experienced this level of heightened attraction to anyone before. She feared skin to skin contact would be a pale imitator to how deeply she desired to connect to him.
She unclasped her bra and eased each strap down her shoulder with the utmost care, paying close attention to Joker's responses. They were serving as a secondhand high at this point.
Joker lifted a knee and began to crawl toward her. Briefly, she experienced the fight-or-flight instinct kick in. A part of her wanted to flee, just to see if she even stood a chance.
But she figured Joker had had more than a lifetime of people running away. She would stay. For him, she would stay put.
When he was close enough to touch, Celine finally removed her bra; leaving her just as bare as him.
They exchanged a glance. In it was a mutual realization that in this moment, only they existed. Only they mattered. Everyone else was irrelevant. The world immaterial. It could all fall away and still they'd be there. They didn't need bodies to be linked.
It made Celine inhale sharply. Her head spun a little trying to process just how powerful their connection was. Joker, meanwhile, kept his reaction to himself, though his arms shook, perhaps from the attempt at suppressing it.
She didn't have much time to ponder it further. Joker lunged at her and all too soon they were in a frantic tangle of limbs and needy mouths.
His weight holding her down was every bit as delicious as she imagined it'd be. Neither were kissing the most elegantly, but neither were particularly concerned with doing so. Need fueled them. So much need it made Celine feel like she was freefalling.
Joker pulled away from her abused mouth, just to hook an arm under her thigh and spread her open. His teeth were clenched as he grabbed his cock and offered it a few pumps. The look in his eye was crazed, starved, determined. Nothing would be getting in his way.
"Condoms!" she blurted, holding out an arm. "Jesus, I can't believe we forgot."
The expression Joker wore made her think he was too far gone. And honestly, she didn't blame him if he was. This between them was a long time coming. They were thinking less as rational people and more like primitives.
But, she wasn't ready for children. It wasn't even something she thought about all that often, partly due to a lack of a love life. Judging by the heavy exhale Joker emitted, she guessed he felt similarly.
To her surprise, he leaned to the side and pulled open the drawer of her nightstand.
"Wait- how'd you know to keep them in there?"
He gave her a look that suggested she should know better.
"This was inevitable," was his only response.
Her mind reeled as he bit into the condom packet, tore it open, and worked on wrapping up his package. All the while maintaining eye contact with her.
Was this inevitable? Or is he just being cocky? Cocky with a cock in his hand. That's a new-
She clawed at the sheets when he entered her, something between a gasp and cry getting trapped in her throat.
He easily beat the size of her favorite vibrating dildo, but gods she'd not been this stretched out in nearly a decade. It hurt, but in a distant sort of way. She suspected the rapid-fire of endorphins were helping keep her mind off it.
To his credit, Joker somehow mustered the will to keep his hips temporarily still. One hand closed over her wrist, pinning it into the mattress. The other snuck into her hair and curled into a fist.
His puffs of breath were being released quietly. It was almost as if he was deliberately trying not to give in to the loss of control.
To distract them both, he dropped his mouth to her chest and latched on to a nipple, grazing it with his teeth before sucking it in, then lathering it over and over with his tongue. When it stood to attention, he switched to the other.
The groans echoing from against her chest were obscene. It helped refocus her attention from the discomfort as her pussy began to adjust to his size.
She lifted her free hand, intending to slip it into his hair, but he noticed the movement out of the corner of his eye and just as quickly it met the same fate as her opposite one.
He lifted his head a few inches, studying her from between her breasts.
Celine's breathing was a wreck. She needed more air than her lungs were capable of storing. And the longer she sank into Joker's dark gaze, the less concerned with breathing she became altogether. The ultimate paradox. Wanting more and less at the same time.
Joker opened his mouth, but nothing came out. She could feel him scavenging for words. But they refused to assemble because even he didn't know the intent behind them.
The grip around her wrists instantly tightened.
"I-." He shook his head frantically, damp locks flying loose. "I should kill you. I really, really should."
An agonizing laugh racked his body. He sounded as if he was physically in pain.
"I should," he whispered to himself, hanging his head. "This isn't how- this it more than I-."
Her heart ached for him. It was Joker speaking, but Jack reacting to the words. One trying to convince the other to do something they didn't want to. On top of it, bombarded by feelings either long ago locked away, or entirely new altogether.
"J-Jack," she said, finding her voice. "Jack, look at me."
He didn't move for nearly a minute. By now, she was more than ready for his cock. But, this needed addressing first.
"It's new for me too," she said quietly. "It terrifies me to the core that someone can make me feel this way. This good...desired...important."
Ever so slowly, he loosened his grip just a little on her wrists.
"You are capable of that. No one else on this planet. Jack...there's only you. And it terrifies me. And it...thrills me. And it makes me feel more powerful than I ever have before. This...you and me...it's not meant to be fought against. If...if that were the case, walking away would be easy. You...killing me...would be easy. Please, don't beat yourself up for-."
He lunged at her again, attacking her mouth before she could finish her words.
This time around, she let him dominate the kiss. He needed to.
It took just seconds for him to leave her breathless, panting against his mouth, arching into him. No matter how much she tried to break her wrists free to touch him, he refused to let go.
The moment he pulled out of her only to slam his hips back in, she lost all motivation to free herself. Or to form coherent sentences.
All she came to know was the erratic rhythm of his thrusts, the mind-melting sensation each time his cock hit that special special spot, and the wild grunts he had an increasingly poor time trying to contain.
A few times he would meet her eyes and it would become too much for him. She could tell he was trying hard to surrender to this magnetic, soul-searing energy. And what reflected in her eyes must have helped in that task. But just when he seemed ready to let go, he'd abruptly bury his face in her neck and release a string of low curses against her pulse, sucking on the spot until an impressive hickey had formed.
Unsurprisingly, neither lasted long. With how worked up they'd gotten leading up to the act itself, it wasn't a matter of when they'd orgasm, but rather how long they were willing to hold back before diving in.
"Fuck, J-Jack I- fuck," she babbled, digging her heels ever harder into his back. "I can't - I'm gonna- oh fuck, Jack, Jack, Jack."
He increased the speed of his thrusts. His hips drove into her like a perfectly oiled machine bent on one mission and one mission only.
At some point, he finally released her wrists. Not that she paid much attention. One of his hands was back in her hair, the other clawing into her cheek.
"Eyes on me," he demanded. "Only on me. No one else but me."
"Yes," she chanted madly, finding his gaze. "Yes, yes, yes...only you."
His thighs quivered violently as his orgasm overtook him, forcing out a groan so guttural and untamed she briefly wondered if anything like it had ever been vocalized in human history.
She had only milliseconds to sink her nails into his back for support before she followed suit, nearly arching off the mattress if not for his body. His lips were back on her neck as aftershocks claimed them both.
Celine could only gaze up at the ceiling, half-disoriented, half-raw, and just a little bit teary-eyed. This was bliss. It was bliss. She felt nothing but utter bliss.
Joker's hips slowed to a crawl, seemingly content to take shelter in her liquid heat. Every so often, a little growling noise would sound from him. Like the orgasm wasn't fully out of him yet.
Her lids fluttered, toes curling anytime his scarred cheek rubbed against her jawline. She removed her hands from him in a daze, noticing a fresh coat of blood beneath the nails. An exhausted laugh shot out of her. This gained her Joker's attention.
She showed him her fingers. He leaned back a little, surprisingly saying very little.
"Sorry," she rasped. "Reminder to trim my nai-."
He took her hand – gentler than expected – and brought it up to his mouth. Her lips parted. She met his eyes.
"Really?"
His gaze narrowed. He offered her a half-shrug.
"Freak in the sheets, sweets. Freak on the streets too."
She watched him slip the fingers with the most blood on them, into his mouth. Apparently, some of the muscles in her pussy weren't as put off by the kink as she was. They clamped tight around Joker's cock, earning her a smirk so devilish she could only roll her eyes.
"Traitor," she mumbled down to her nether regions.
"Not how I see it," was his sly reply as he got to work cleaning himself off of her nails.
The assassins you all sent after me were unsuccessful. I live. Watch your backs. Also, wash your backs.
I apologize that I can't give consistent updates like when this story first began. You have all been so supportive, encouraging, kind, and genuinely interested in this tale. It fills me with so much guilt to see months pass and I've nothing to offer you. This most recent hiatus was partially mental health related, but I also had an epiphany.
About a month ago I decided to again start from the beginning of this story and do some heavy editing. There were things I missed last time I edited plus some inconsistencies in information as well as poorly-worded dialogue. It was in chapter 2 that I began criticizing everything. Deleting sentences, trying to write them smarter or better or less...flowery. I froze and took my hands away from the keyboard. I didn't realize until that moment how influential and deeply ingrained my inner critic is. And how hard of a time I have telling its voice apart from what's objectively true. In realizing this, I returned to chapter 1 and started all over again with a new pair of eyes. Figuratively, not literally.
I give my inner critic so much power because I perceive myself to be a failure in every aspect of my personal life. I feel this need - as common as the urge to breathe - to constantly belittle myself. Even in arenas that I'm good in. Sure, I did fine, but I could have always done better. It is never fun realizing how much you are your own bully. I don't owe any of you an explanation, but I respect and appreciate so much the time you take to read or leave a comment. So, I wanted to share a truth about myself that's easier typed out than said aloud. To give a better explanation as to why I vanish for months. Sometimes, I kidnap my own self-esteem. Sometimes, it is really difficult trying to get it back.
I am genuinely unsure when I'll be updating again. A few things have changed for the worse in my life, mainly my source of income, so that takes precedence over anything else. However, a few things have changed for the better. I'm more mindful about when I start criticizing and do a better job of isolating that voice in its own echo chamber. I also binged Midnight Mass and wow did that ignite a spark. Currently at work on a fic for that show, which is good because I'm getting back into a flow of writing a little every day, whether its this or that one. I'm choosing to remain optimistic, this story is almost always on my mind. That's good, it pushes me to get it out.
To those folk in the US, I hope your Thanksgiving goes excellently, and that you and your family - blood or otherwise - are staying safe and keeping warm. Those outside the US, whatever holidays are up and coming for you, I wish you all the same and that you too are staying safe and keeping warm, or depending on what hemisphere you're in, keeping cool.
P.S. They finally banged. Took only *reads hand* 33 chapters!