Author notes
Yellow…Opps well I guess I'm late to the party! It's been awhile since I've actually posted a chapter well because my PC caused a power outage. In short it fried itself it was awesome and I got electrocuted but that's not important. On with the nutsa-I mean story :/
Chapter…Honestly I have no idea shiiit
"A cheap shot…Really didn't expect that from Sasuke but then again he's an Uchiha" Naruto sighed and inhaled which canceled his aura.
This fight was as pointless as trying to use genjutsu on Itachi and for some reason he winced. Naruto looked around and something felt off about the arena. He could feel the tension in the air and he could smell snakes which could mean only one thing his sense of smell was off thanks to performing cunnilingus or most likely Orochimaru was still in the Leaf. Naruto grinned the snake-man was here and then shivered because calling Orochimaru a man just felt wrong very very wrong. The pedoph-Orocimaru was stalling for some reason and how the fuck did he pass through the village masquerading as the Kazakage. Then again he was interested in molesting emo boy over there and proved he was willing to go any lengths to get Uchiha ass.
Naruto began laughing because Sasuke was toast if he said something stupid about his clan's greatness as usual. What did Orochimaru have to gain from Sasuke and more importantly why was he so obsessed with him? The Sharingan maybe but Sasuke was too much of a turd to be loyal unless it helped him kill Itachi. Naruto sighed again because he had nothing to gain from this fight other than getting the Council on his nuts which he didn't need right now. He looked at his opponent and I mean really looked at Sasuke. His stance suggested that dear Sasuke was...serious?
"No way haha…He's nervous! Well I did almost turn Gaara into a hotdog…A little joke about Shukaku there" Naruto quipped
'Was that supposed to be funny you idiot" King was…not impressed and went about doing nothing actually important.
"It was you second rate poltergeist sack of ectoplasm…When was the last time you even got laid…Oh don't answer that I am guessing it was when masturbation was first discovered. Your almost as useless as Sakura…I'm sorry…I took it too far with the Sakura comparison. " Naruto retorted and then sighed again. Being in the Leaf Village really just bought the worst out of him.
"Oh did I hurt the lil princess's feelings, do you want a lollipop well you can take it up with the I don't give a Flying Fuck Department!" King scoffed and folded his arms…oh wait he didn't have arms…yet. Naruto just chuckled and focused on dear Sauceke…Sasuke.
"Let's get to it, loser" Duck ass- I mean Sasuke demanded in the usual my nuts have more value than your life voice. Naruto sighed again and pinched the bridge of his nose because if he kept on sighing at this rate, he would end up like that Nara imbecile. Honestly he was bored and was contemplating whether to kill Sasuke and watch Orochimaru, the Council and Itachi throw a hissy fit or to beat Sasuke so badly that he would fall in love with Sakura. Both options sounded hilarious but sadly Naruto didn't have time to waste and he did have one technique that could end the match in one blow.
"You're just a ray of sunshine ain't ya? " Naruto replied while smirking and looked at his gauntlet arm. He had a feeling he would need to get a real one because according to Kiyomi it didn't hurt to have a plan B. Naruto turned to the right cocked his right arm back almost like he was preparing to punch but he was too far away which made guy narrow his eyes up in the stands. He breathed in and closed his eyes to 'feel' Sasuke…Not that way! Shutting off sight in order to feel his opponent in midst off a fight wasn't a good idea but Naruto really wanted to test out this technique even if could potentially kill Sasuke or blow up his arm to shit.
Rocks began to rise as Naruto let his chakra flow towards the chakra points in his right arm, Naruto had good control thanks to seal but he was pretty sure he couldn't do something crazy as increase his strength exponentially by just using chakra for it to actually make a difference in a fight maybe a fuinjutsu would help. Though he did have to thank for Kiyomi meddling with his body or having the occasional 'fit'. Now he had to be clear of all thoughts and focus on Sasuke or rather the supposed 'fight' they were having. Let's just say the recoil could blow his arm off even if that wouldn't matter due to his healing factor which kept getting stronger the more injured he became but it took a ridiculous amount of chakra to replace a missing limb.
It almost increased his stamina to um superhuman levels Akiko could vouch for him cough cough…He used all his other senses excluding sight because as a shinobi you couldn't trust your eyes most of the time. Naruto's eyes snapped opened and punched the air which looked impressive but nothing happened. Everyone looked on with anticipation for a few seconds and Naruto smirked while Sasuke stood there confused with his Sharingan active, he was tense because the amount of chakra he saw going towards was nothing to sneeze at. Nothing happened and Sasuke was about to insult Naruto before everything went black and his head snapped backwards. He fell on his back to the ground and began twitching. It was quite a sight to behold!
"It's over" Naruto proclaimed and began walking towards Gaara with a sealing tag he pulled out of nowhere which would block Shukaku's youkai, the shit he saw that went for a seal on Gaara's forehead was an insult to every seals master in the world. Let's just say Shukaku was being held back by a strand of hair that's how pathetic it is. Sasuke was out cold and the proctor who Naruto didn't care much about looked at Sasuke and Gaara, put his hands in his pockets and was about to declare Blondie the winner but-
BOOOOOOOM
In the Stands before the explosion
"Ummm…What The Fuck just happened?" One confused Anko asked because that was the question on Hidden Leaf's eleven minds. Sadly Kakashi was at a loss for words and Asuma dropped his lighter due to shock. Guy began to chuckle and then it turned to full blown laughter because he was well Guy.
"Guy sensei it seems like Naruto has managed to reach another level of taijutsu only a few will reach. All right I will run a thousand laps around the village because Naruto flames of YOUTH burn so bri-" Alas poor Lee was interrupted by Anko who didn't take kindly to being ignored
"Enough Spandex junior . Mr Spandex before I decide to turn into a garderner and give those bushes you call eyebrows proper trimming using a rusty kunai and sand paper"
"Well Lee first off that wasn't Taijutsu just a punch filled with hot blooded YOUTH!Naruto didn't hit Sasuke in normal sense but directed a shockwave directly to his face or more precisely his temple …Such power such skill truly the power of Youth runs in Naruto's hot blooded veins!I AM FIRED UUUUUUUP" Guy announced with enough volume to give a deaf persons his/her hearing
back.
"That would explain the absurd amount of chakra Naruto used…He either used it to reinforce his arm or to sense Sasuke's position." Kakashi analyzed which caused everyone to see Naruto in a new light because it seems like Naruto was full of surprises. First a chakra beam and now a shockwave punch why couldn't life be as simple as Make Out Paradise. The rest of the jounin just watched Naruto with renewed interest.
The Temari and Kankuro watched on with narrowed eyes it looks like Uzumaki was becoming a big problem but they couldn't do anything yet.
"Well that's unexpected. Lord Orochimaru won't be happy about this" One Kabuto mused and he looked towards the Kage booth for the signal. The Kazakage nodded and Kabuto began performing hand signs which either meant he was going to rape a dinosaur or he was casting a genjutsu.
"Temple of Nirvana"
Feathers began to fall as people began to fall asleep while the smart ones realized this was a genjutsu and tried to dispel it.
Kage Booth
"Well old fool it seems your time on this world is finished" The Kazakage announced while facing the Hokage with a sinister smile
"You sure about that…Orochimaru?" Hiruzen Sarutobi questioned while holding his pipe and taking a drag.
"Yes…Now then the fun begins" the two rushed at each other like former lover- I mean hardcore enemies.
BOOOOOM
Arena floor
"It's about time I guess this is one way to end the exams…With a bang!" Naruto said with a smirk while folding his arms. Everything was going to hell civilians fleeing for their lives, Sand shinobi attacking Leaf shinobi, some people turning into Sound ninja and attacking Leaf shinobi. If Naruto had to guess the Leaf would win unless, he chuckled and looked at Gaara whose siblings were already at his side and attempting to escape. Naruto decided to go after them because he wasn't in the mood to hear anything about Leaf ninja sticking together. On the way to where ever the fuck these three were going to he noticed a giant snake destroying the wall that was meant to divide Mexico from the US wait what?! Well the snake was destroying everything until a giant frog fell from the sky effectively tea bagging the snake.
"Nice the respect I had for frogs just went up a notch" is all Naruto thought but frogs weren't his style well that and Kiyomi threatened to cut his balls off and feed them to him if he chose some pathetic summoning contract. Naruto was cut from his musing when a kunai whizzed by his ear that caused him to look at the Sand siblings and Kabuto? Why was he here? Naruto didn't attack but chose to fold his arms and observe as Kabuto revived Gaara and feed him something that made Gaara get that I'm going to fuck this tree for no reason look in his eyes. All Naruto did was raise his eyebrow when sand began taking shape around Gaara and he transformed into the world's most rabid dog. Kabuto returned to the shadows and Naruto sighed because they were in a forest.
"Looks like you need a leash" He stated to the now demonified Gaara who just began drooling and laughing. Yep definitely Shukaku's host! Temari and Kankuro looked terrified but when they looked at Naruto he just stood there looking bored as hell.
"See that Kankuro, that's what a man that has balls looks like maybe you could learn something instead of stealing my makeup and cross dressing!" Temari snorted and Kankuro's eye twitched because it seems insulting him was a priority for his sister. They had to gain some distance from these two unless they wanted to get caught in the crossfire. So they left but were still close enough to give support to Gaara if thing went south. My what loyalty really brings a tear to the eye too bad Gaara didn't give a fuck.
"Uzumaki with your blood I will finally be able to appease my mother!"
"Something tells me I wouldn't enjoy meeting her…Gaara respectfully lay of the porn man just look at your arm bro!" Naruto replied dryly but he was on high alert Gaara was releasing a lot of youkai and bloodlust.
"Fool! Sand Shuriken Barrage" just like the name implies Gaara fired a lot of sand shuriken at Naruto who just closed his eyes and didn't even flinch when they all flew past him.
"What UZU-urgh!" Gaara yelled while dashing towards Naruto who winced and then appeared behind Gaara and delivered a back jump kick that broke through Gaara's armor and sent him flying towards some trees.
"Shut the fuck up…I right here jeez I'm not deaf ya know!" Naruto scolded while messaging his ears shit he almost lost his eardrums because of this imbecile. It was at that moment he noticed his feet were encased in sand and the sand in question was beginning to form a sphere around him.
All Naruto had to say was "Well shit" before he was encased in a sand ball and Gaara emerged while laughing like a lunatic.
"Finally MOTHER Will HAVE YOUR BLOOD UZUMAKI!SAND Burial!" Following those words Gaara closed his normal hand and…nothing happened. Gaara looked confused as his sand began to melt and Naruto speed towards him like a speeding bullet while yelling "The Power of Christ compels you hahahaha!" Gaara tried to defend himself by tying to use his jacking off ar-I mean Shukaku like arm to bat Naruto away like a baseball bat. Too bad Naruto vaulted over it and ran even faster, Gaara tried using his tail by performing a tail whip and it did hit Naruto but he grabbed Gaara's tail and began swinging him around baby on speed.
After a few seconds Naruto let go which caused Gaara to fly into a new set of trees. Gaara growled and did a few hand signs before screaming-
"Playing Possum Jutsu!" Gaara fell asleep and Naruto smirked as a lot of Youkai began leaving Gaara's body.
"Well I guess the carnage is about to begin"
AAAAAAAAAAAND DONE….I wanted to write more but I got hungry because I don't have a …What that has to do with this absolutely peace and review or visit pornhub….That is all