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56. Claire

"Here, drink it. It might help you feel better," Saya said, passing her a cup of what Claire guessed was chamomile.

"Wow, thanks..." Claire answered. She sipped the warm infusion and sighed, "Can you give me an analgesic, too? My head is killing me."

"I will when I am sure that you're in conditions to take one. But ignoring all that, I think that went quite well. I was afraid you would get a little aggressive."

"So did I," Claire sighed.

The sensations of her memories felt so real that she still could feel them while awake. It wasn't nice, and even though she'd expected it, she couldn't deny that the experience had been unpleasant. The random images now made sense, horrible sense, but at least she finally felt "complete."

"Claire!"

Chris stepped into the room, followed by Leon. Both men had a concerned look that made Claire feel guilty as she watched them run to her. Chris reached her first and pulled her into a tight big-brother hug. Leon was a little more discrete, and he kept a safe distance, with Helena standing close by.

"Hey," Claire greeted them, ignoring Saya's mocking smirk and Dhriti's giggle.

"Claire, are you alright? Are you feeling sick?" Chris asked, grabbing her shoulders and pushing her back to check her.

Claire patted his rough hand warmly and shook her head.

"I am fine," Claire replied. "Being a little dazed is normal."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I just went back through hell and came back in a blink, so you can expect me to have a little vertigo."

Chris groaned and released his sister with a frown. The comment about "hell" had darkened his expression.

"Did it work?" Jill asked.

Claire looked at her, and to her slight shock, she saw her doppelgänger standing behind her. The girl was leaning against the wall, with her arms crossed and a slightly tilted head. The girl smirked, and her lips began to move in unison with Claire's.

"Blackwell Asylum..."Claire answered. "That's the place where I was a prisoner."

"Blackwell?" Jill said, looking at Chris. "Well, that's a lead." Now we just need to figure out where in the world it is."

"It's in Ireland," Claire said, "Probably somewhere in or nearby Arranmore Island."

"That's awfully specific. How do you know that?" Helena asked.

Claire pinched the bridge of her nose and closed her eyes. Instantly, the image of tiny white flowers growing among the rocks crossed her mind, and that was all she needed to know where the place was.

"Saxifraga hartii," Claire answered.

Everyone stared at her in confusion. She had to remember that not everyone took botany as seriously as she did."

"It's an endemic flower from Arranmore island in Ireland. I saw them grow in the asylum's garden, so it has to be around that area."

"Claire, you're a damn genius," Chris said, kissing her head.

"I thought we already knew that..."Claire smiled.

"I'll call Barry," Jill said. "We should start looking ASAP."

"Yeah, you do that," Chris approved.

Jill nodded and stepped out of the room. Claire massaged her temple as the headache started to puncture her skull.

"I think you need to rest," Leon said. "It was enough for you today."

"Yeah, I agree with Leon. No more mad science for today, Claire," Chris said, hugging her tighter.

"Don't worry. But if you keep squishing me like this, science will be the last of my worries. "

"Smartass," Chris chuckled. "Leon, can I leave her to you?"

"Do you have to ask?" Leon answered. "I'll keep her out of trouble. Don't worry."

"He's done well so far. I suppose you don't have reasons to doubt his super-agent abilities."

"I guess he's made honor to his reputation. I'll head back to BSAA with Jill. I have to let Adams know what we've found, too. I will call you later."

Claire rolled her eyes at her brother's overprotectiveness. She hugged the older Redfield and watched him walk away, followed by Dhriti, who was diligently escorting the visits out.

Saya went into the computer room to talk to Wallace, leaving the room to Claire, Leon, and Helena. After evaluating her stability, Claire stood from the bed and picked her jacket from the nearest chair.

"You're a little pale," Helena observed. "Maybe you should eat something."

"It's almost time for my next shot, so..." Claire replied. "That might be it. I'll look just fine after I get it."

"Well, that doesn't change that I'll get you something to eat before getting home."

"Yes, Chris..." Claire said, rolling her eyes.

Leon raised an eyebrow at the remark, and Helena snickered. Claire rubbed the back of her neck, trying to ease a phantom pain that only existed in her memory.

We still feel it, don't we?

Claire had grown used to hearing the ghostly voice of her doppelgänger inside her head, but to her surprise, the voice she'd just heard was different. The woman turned her head and found her doppelgänger, very real and solid, standing by the door behind Helena with a cryptic smile.

You look surprised to see me. Don't worry, only you can.

"Ok, so I guess we call it a day," Helena asked, crossing her arms. "I admit it is nice to go home earlier than usual, right? Claire?"

"Heh? Oh, yeah. I think so. Do you need me for anything else?" Claire asked Saya, who'd entered the room with Wallace behind her.

"No, not for the time being. Here are the analgesics you asked for," Saya said, passing Claire a tiny bag. "Your brain activity seems normal, so I think you can take them."

"Thanks," Claire replied. "I foresee a bad headache tonight."

"Call me if it gets too bad," Saya said, crossing her arms. "And don't forget your shots..."

"As if I would forget those," Claire sighed. "I'll pick them up before leaving. They are in my lab."

"I'll go with you," Leon offered.

"It's not like I am dropping dead while you're not looking."

Claire's comment made Leon smile. Despite the annoyance in her tone, she wasn't annoyed at all. It was nice to have someone worrying for her, and considering her background in romantic relationships, her current one with Leon seemed to be the best so far.

"Ag, fine. Follow me, then, super agent."

Helena snorted as the pair left the room, and Claire opted to ignore whatever exchange of looks was happening behind her.

She was feeling sluggish, a feeling she recognized as symptoms of DNA deprivation.

Doesn't that make it sound like you're a drug addict?

Her doppelgänger walked by her side, so Claire had ended up sandwiched between her ghostly hallucination and Leon.

"Guess I am a Claire Sandwich after all," Claire muttered to herself.

"What?" Leon asked.

"Nothing, I was wondering whether I should get a sandwich for dinner."

"A sandwich? That's quite simple, but if that's what you want to eat, I guess we could stop somewhere for one on the way home."

"You sound disappointed about my humble taste in food," Claire snorted, pushing the door to her office open.

Her doppelgänger had disappeared again, leaving Claire and Leon to enter the lab alone.

"Oh, I know your taste, Claire. That's not something that bothers me at all," Leon answered, circling Claire's waist.

"Not so shy anymore, huh?"

"Didn't want to put Chris in an awkward position," Leon shrugged, "If he's going to find out, I'd rather that it happens when all this crap has ended, and he's in a better mood."

"Oh, I can't believe it. You are intimidated by my brother," Claire teased him.

"Chris can be a handful," Leon replied, shrugging.

Claire chuckled, and she felt a wave of dizziness hit her.

"Hey, are you alright?" Leon asked, holding her.

"Yeah," Claire answered, closing her eyes. "I might be getting a little too dependent on those shots. My body seems to start malfunctioning whenever the effect passes."

"Then we should do something about that," Leon answered, helping her to the chair. "Where is it?"

"In the chiller. Top shelf, inside a blue box," Claire answered. "Syringes are in the first cabinet on the right."

Leon nodded. He opened the chiller and retrieved the box with the vials. Leon Prepared the syringe with an ease that would have surprised the most skilled medic.

"When did you learn to do that?"

"I asked Rebecca to teach me some things after the incident at the mall," Leon replied, "I thought it might come in handy if anything happened again."

"Aw..."Claire smiled as she stretched her arm to Leon so that he could give her the shot. "Should I take that as you flirting with me?"

"Not my typical way of flirting," Leon answered, "but hey, smart women are hard to impress. There. How long does it take for it to take effect?"

Claire took a deep breath before answering. The effect was instantaneous. As soon as the liquid had entered her bloodstream, her hyperactive cells began to ravage through the foreign DNA.

"Thumbs up for the fast metabolism. I'm fine now," Claire smiled at him.

"Are you sure?" Leon asked with a frown.

"Yeah, this thing has worked great so far, minus the rebound-abstinence effect, of course."

"What exactly is it?"

Claire bit her lip. To her friends, the injections were some experimental drug they were using to control her symptoms. In reality, the vials contained nothing more than a high concentration of viral DNA. In other words, she was doing the same as the other BOWs, but in a less cannibalistic way.

"Well, you know. Some vitamins and organic sources so that my cells don't decide to eat themselves."

"Good to know your sense of humor doesn't ever change."

Leon stood in front of her and caressed her cheek. It was a sweet gesture, and Claire smiled.

"Ok, I think I am ready to go home. The shot did its job, but I'm still tired."

"Want me to carry you to the car?"

"Are you joking? Didn't you say you preferred to be discreet?"

"I said I didn't want to tell Chris," Leon smirked. "but everyone here already knows so..."

"I can walk, casanova," Claire said, rolling her eyes. "Come on, super agent."

"Alright...ah, but one thing..."

"Now what?"

Before Claire had a chance to react, Leon had already leaned over to kiss her, and the youngest Redfield was happy to oblige into it.

"Flirt..."

Claire woke up feeling cold. The icy touch spread through her muscles, numbing them and making it an odyssey to get out of her. Her heart leaped when she realized the room was dark, and the terror only worsened when she noticed the strange damp sensation spreading beneath her. If not for the sickeningly dry, sweet metallic scent, Claire would have thought it was water, but she didn't need the light to know it was blood.

"Get up."

Claire's head perked up at the voice. Her doppelgänger emerged from the darkness with a frown. The girl almost seemed to shine, surrounded by the ominous shadows.

"You don't have time for this. Get up."

"What's going on? Where am I?"

"You know where we are, and you know what hunts in the darkness, so get up, or this will be your end."

Claire tried to stand up, but the exhaustion and heaviness she felt made it difficult to move. Every part of her body ached. It was as if hot liquid ran through her veins, and her muscles were ripping into pieces with every movement she made.

Suddenly Claire tripped over something hidden by the darkness. It was a corpse covered in blood. Something had torn its skin until the muscles were visible under the pieces. Claire backed away in horror, only to collide with another body, and another and another.

Lifeless and grotesquely disfigured bodies surrounded Claire. Their unhuman features were too hard to see in the dark, but Claire didn't need to see them. She already knew.

"Perhaps it was a little too much," her doppelgänger whispered. "But in this situation it is either kill to survive or die, right?"

"I...I didn't..." Claire mumbled softly. "I didn't do it...I..."

"Oh, but you did. WE did..." the doppelgänger whispered in Claire's ear.

Images began to flash through her mind. Monsters that had torn some of her companions into pieces and devoured them. Humans that turned into beasts surrounded Claire; their skin pale as chalk and the faces disfigured by demon-like features. The images then changed, and Claire saw blood and chaos. Her hands, covered in the thick grime of fresh blood. She felt nothing, and all happened as if she had not been herself at all.

"You did it..." Claire whispered with a mix of horror and anger. "It wasn't me..."

"But I am you..."

"No, no..."

Claire groaned, grabbing her head. Suddenly, Claire heard a loud tap, and a blinding ray of light entered the room, cutting through the thick darkness. The woman had to cover her eyes, as the light had temporarily blinded her, and she didn't notice the group of white-clothed people that entered. Two large men grabbed her weakened arms and lifted her.

The woman's instant reaction was to push them away, but her efforts were in vain.

"I knew you were promising, Ms. Redfield..." a low voice said. A man stood in front of her, but she could not see his face. His features seemed darkened by the light behind him.

"Who are you? What do you want from me?" Claire mumbled weakly.

"That's not something you need to know, Ms. Redfield. All you have to do is keep doing what you're doing..."

A soft tinkle of crystal made Claire realize that the man was preparing an injection. She didn't know what was inside the vial, but whatever it was, she knew it was not good.

"What is that?"

"Medicine, of course..."

"I don't need medicine..."

"Of course you do. This tiny bottle's content, my dear, will make you perfect. You will see..."

"That's not medicine..." Claire roared. "You fucking bastard...let go..."

"But I can't do that," the voice said sweetly. "Hold her still..."

Claire struggled, trying to release herself from the tight grip of the nurses, but the men grabbed tighter. She scratched the men like a furious cat, and one of them let out a roar of pain when her nails touched his face.

She wasn't supposed to be there. She had to get out. She had to escape and figure out a way to ask for help. Chris, Leon; somebody...

"Sir, it seems she's recovering her consciousness..."

"Let it be. That won't last long, especially after we inoculate this strain. Phase 4 will be interesting..."

Claire fought as much as she could, but her body was weak by days of no food or sleep. She tried to kick the approaching man, but her efforts were useless.

The needle penetrated her skin, and it was as if they were injecting mercury into her. The burning sensation was terrible. She let out a painful scream as she felt the new virus crawl through her bloodstream and...

"Claire, wake up! Claire!"

Claire's eyes snapped open, and a fit of coughing hit her as she seemed about to hyperventilate. Sweat drenched her forehead, and she felt dizzy. She wasn't in a dark, cold room filled with corpses of mutants and humans. She was in Leon's dimly illuminated room, being held by the agent's concerned arms.

"Hey, it's alright. Breath, it was just a dream," Leon said, hugging her. "Just a nightmare..."

Claire held onto Leon, trembling, and the agent stroked her back, trying to calm her.

"Shhhh, it's ok. It's ok. You're safe..." Leon whispered. "It was a nightmare..."

It took Claire several minutes to finally calm down. The woman took a deep breath and relaxed in Leon's arms, losing all of her strength.

"S-sorry..."Claire whispered. "I...I guess that session messed me up more than I thought."

"You don't need to apologize," Leon replied.

"Did I wake you?"

Stupid question, Claire thought. Of course, she probably had.

"No, I wasn't asleep, but if I had been, it wouldn't have made any difference," the agent replied, shaking his head. "Do you want something? Water? Tea?"

Claire shook her head. Her hands were trembling, and she could almost feel the blood between her fingers: thick, warm, and acrid. The ghostly sensation of tearing flesh apart and the grotesque sound that accompanied were too real inside her head.

I told you before. Was it that you didn't remember or that you didn't want to?

Her doppelgänger stood by the door. Her ghostly image was the same as in her dreams.

Were you afraid of what you did?

Her doppelgänger was right. Her amnesia was not clinical but psychological. The grotesque things she'd had made marked her in a way that Claire didn't want to remember, so she had purposely buried those memories, wanting to forget what a monster she was.

"Claire, look at me."

Claire looked up and found Leon's light eyes staring into hers.

"I know it was horrible," he said softly. "But it is over. They won't lay a finger on you anymore because we'll make sure of that."

"Y- yeah," Claire mumbled. "I know. Just give me a minute."

Coping with trauma was not easy. The fragmented memories were disturbing enough, but now that the fragments fell into place, the sensations were even more intense. Now, Claire understood the fear, the pain, and the desperation behind each image, and it became a heavyweight on Claire's shoulders.

"Do you want to talk about it? I won't force you if you don't want to, but if it makes you feel better."

"I don't think it will help, and to tell the truth, it will just make you feel bad, too," Claire answered sincerely. "I chose to remember it. This burden is mine to carry alone."

"I think you'd made a habit of carrying everything alone, Claire," Leon sighed. "I am talking from experience. Sometimes you need to share the weight."

"Yeah, I know what you mean, but not this. Not yet..."

Leon nodded and did not press any further. That was something that Claire liked about Leon. He didn't pressure, unlike Chris. Claire loved Chris. He was her brother and a figure that she'd seen as her safety for so many years, but because he was her brother, Claire also knew all of Chris's bad points.

The oldest Redfield never shone for his patience, and when it came to his little sister, he tended to be a little pushy. There were things Claire preferred not to say. But Chris felt that because of her responsibility for her, he should know everything that happened to her little sister. That had been one of the primary causes of arguments when Claire was a teenager, and even though they had grown up, some things never changed.

But Leon didn't ask if she didn't want to speak, and that was very comforting.

"Let's forget about it, ok?"

Claire took a deep breath and looked away. It was then that she noticed that Leon's sleeve had bloodstains. She lifted the fabric, revealing several bleeding scratches.

"Oh my god..." Claire frowned," Did I do this?"

Leon looked at her, surprised.

"Ah, it's nothing. You probably scratched me when I tried to wake you up," Leon said, without giving it much importance.

"I am so sorry..."

"Claire, it isn't a big deal. It's just a scratch."

Claire bit down her lip with guilt. She lowered her head and got up from the bed to pick the first aid kit. The injuries weren't deep. She had just torn a little bit of skin, but that didn't change that she had hurt Leon without realizing it.

"Claire," Leon said, seeing that she was wrapping his hand in bandages, silently. "Claire..."

"Eh?"

"I told you. It is nothing. I am fine," Leon said, catching her hand in his. "Stop beating yourself over it. I know you probably don't feel like it, but I think you need to rest."

"I will have more nightmares..." Claire mumbled, sounding like her seven-year-old self.

"I'll be here to take care of you if that happens," Leon replied.

"It's not like you can come into my dreams and save me..."

"No, but I can distract you from them. If I can tell you good things, perhaps you will dream of those instead."

Claire chuckled. His words gave her a sense of deja vu. Chris used to say those words when they were younger. Whenever Claire had a nightmare, she would sneak out of her room and crawl into Chris's crying. The older Redfield would wake up begrudgingly, but as soon as he saw his sister's tearful eyes, his heart would soften. The boy would move aside to let her snuggle into his bed, and he would talk to her until she finally fell asleep.

"You're becoming Chris..."

"What did you say?"

"Nothing important,"Claire smiled at him. "Thank you, Leon. For everything..."

Leon shook his head and smiled, hugging her closer, and Claire leaned into the hug as a comforting sense of safety began to push away her fears.

"Always..."she heard Leon whisper into her ear.