A/N: Hello friends! This will probably be the only update on this fic this month since I'm writing as I go. I'm currently working on getting a Nightmare Before Christmas fic (check it out please!) finished by Halloween. To preface this chapter, I want to say I had some really negative therapy experiences as well as some that were better. Those experiences inspired this chapter, and I in no way want it to discourage anyone from seeking help when they need it. That said, TW for mentions of rape and reference to self-harm. I hope that if this chapter does anything more than entertain that it encourages therapy. I'm not a doctor, and my experience is long in the past. The song is Therapy by All Time Low and I personally suggest the new version on the 10th-anniversary edition of the album (It's Still Nothing Personal). I'm not RIB so I don't own glee and I don't own the song or the one line of lyrics either.

Chapter 17: Therapy

Therapy was nothing new to Santana. She'd been attending it off-and-on since her attempt. For Brittany, however, going back was something she'd never wanted. For a month after the second time she was assaulted, she'd visit a counselor a few times a week. Unfortunately, the Pierces never found a counselor that worked for Brittany. She struggled to open up to them and they went through five in the month span. By the end of the month, both Brittany and her parents have given up. However, Santana had asked Brittany to come to a session with her and maybe seek out help herself. She would do anything for Santana: that she knew. What was hard for Brittany is that her memories of therapy were all bad. The therapist had treated her like a child, while what she needed and wanted was to be treated like an adult. What happened to her should happen to no child, but it did. And it stole her childhood from her. Being treated like a child made her feel weak. She just wanted to be strong.

"Britt, if you don't want to come you don't have to." Santana said as they walked up to the office "You can wait outside and hug me after." Brittany shook her head, she was determined to be there for Santana. Santana squeezed the taller girl's hand gently "Thank you B." Brittany nodded as Santana opened the door to the waiting room. It was bare apart from one older lady reading a magazine and the receptionist. Santana checked herself in as Brittany took a seat in one of the chairs. This looked a lot different than the ones she'd been in. The walls were plain, the TV was muted and set to the channel that played the old black and white shows. On the table were the magazines Brittany always saw at the supermarket check out and wondered why anyone would buy them. There were no toys or picture books. While it made the room a little cold and certainly stale, Brittany took comfort in the gray surroundings. Santana sat beside her, watching the girl take it all in.

"Shouldn't it be a little brighter here?" Brittany whispered. While the colors made her feel grown, they weren't very warm and inviting. They were neutral.

"Her office is brighter." Santana said "The waiting room is mostly for parents or spouses. She takes teens and adults, so this was the best set up I guess."

"I like it. All the therapists' offices I went to had crowded waiting rooms with screaming kids and toys everywhere." Brittany mentioned.

"She has a few stuffed animals and fidgets toys in her office for anxiety, and there's some in that cupboard too." Santana pointed across the room "She knows the gray can put some people on edge." Brittany nodded as the therapist-led a girl a bit younger than them out. The lady, her mother, folded her magazine closed and had a whispered conversation before heading to the receptionist's desk.

"Hi, Santana. I see you brought Brittany, did you want her to join?" the therapist had a sweet and calming voice, just like all of the rest. Brittany shook off her wariness and smiled shyly.

"Is it alright if she does?" Santana asked, pulling Brittany up with her.

"Of course dear. I suggested it didn't I?" the lady smiled and ushered them in "Please take a seat. Can I get you any water or coffee?"

"Water, please. Britt, do you want anything?" Santana looked at the girl who sat beside her nervously fiddling her thumbs. "Make it two." Santana didn't look away from the blonde, and took one of her hands in her own, running her thumb along the palm softly.

"Here you are girls." the doctor set two bottles in front of them "It's a pleasure to meet you, Brittany, my name is Hailey." she held a hand out to the dancer. Brittany shook her hand nervously.

"Don't you go by doctor?" Brittany asked, looking at the PhDs on the wall.

"Not usually. But if you want to call me you can." Hailey smiled sincerely. "Though that's my mother. And my father."

"Hailey's parents are doctors too." Santana told Brittany "Much nicer doctors than the ones I grew up with though."

"Very true. Santana has met them. It just so happens my father was her doctor in the ER." Hailey smiled "My mother tended to pop in on his patients as well."

"You didn't tell me that." Brittany looked at Santana "that's super cool."

"I wanted Hailey to tell you. It's her choice after all." Santana smiled "So, you going to stay in the room?"

"I told you I'd be here for you. You know I don't break pinky promises." Brittany said seriously.

"Wanna know something?' Hailey asked Brittany. The blonde nodded a little hesitantly. Hailey held out a pinky "I take pinky promises seriously too. And I pinky promise that you don't have to say or do anything you don't want to. I told Santana the same thing when she first came to see me. Everything she tells me, which is half gushing about you," the doctor winked "is her choice.'

"Really? My therapist always said I should tell them about what happened." Brittany frowned "I like your way a whole lot better." Brittany shook the outstretched pinky with her own.

"So, Santana, how have things been since the holidays?" Hailey asked, turning her attention to the Latina. Brittany looked around the room as Santana told the therapist about her recurring nightmares. Unlike the waiting room, the office was a pale yellow, one of Brittany's favorite colors. She saw a fish tank of colorful tropical fish on a bookshelf full of what she assumed were psychology books. There was a set of drawers next to the bookcase labeled with toys, blankets, and comfort items. She was so distracted, she missed the other two trying to get her attention.

"Huh?" she asked after Santana nudged her gently.

"Hailey wants to know how you felt about my nightmares babe." the shorter girl said softly.

"If those are just nightmares, what the heck is a night terror?" Brittany asked "It was really scary. You'd thrash around, and scream and talk. You're usually a pretty still sleeper, except when you have a sexy dream. Then not so much. But nothing like this. You kicked me off the bed once. And you fell off the bed once. And then when I'd get you awake, cause I read online that waking up is actually better than they used to think, you'd always have a panic attack." Brittany rambled."Sorry was that too much?"

"No that's perfect. Usually, we don't know our body's physical reactions because we are subconscious when we are dreaming. So now I know exactly how strong the dreams were. And those definitely qualify as night terrors. They stopped though, right?" Hailey looks at the girls.

"The night before Christmas. And not one since." Santana said.

"Any idea why?" Hailey raised an eyebrow at the girls, but they both shook their heads cluelessly. "No pre-Christmas celebration to wipe memories away?"

"No way! We're both healing still." Brittany said, "We talk about it a lot but just to check-in." She then whispered to Santana, Hailey watching curiously "Does she know about Puck?" Santana nodded. "Yeah, especially after the bullying at school. Way too soon."

"I get that from Santana's side, and I'm sure you wouldn't pressure her, but you said you're both healing? Did you want to tell me about that?" Hailey looked at Brittany, and the blonde took comfort in the soft smile. Still, she ran her hands over her thighs nervously, her palms sweating.

"Yeah, but could I uh...is there like something I can mess with or something. I can't sit still. I'm a little nervous.' Brittany looked down shyly.

"Sure, go ahead and look through the drawers over there. Anything you want, and if you really like it, it's yours to keep." the doctor pointed the drawers and Brittany nodded. She heard Santana talking to Hailey a bit about the fun they had at their parties and smiled as she opened the bottom drawer. Stuffed animals and stress balls were stuffed to the brim. Stuck in the back corner was a bright blue duck with a bright yellow beak. She pulled it out and pet the fluffy soft fur. She gently closed the door, holding her duck close to her heart as she walked back over. "You sure I can keep it right?" Brittany asked as she took her seat again "The other doctors said I couldn't and I always felt sad leaving my new friend in the cold office."

"Of course. I have plenty more. You're actually the only person besides Santana to pick that one out. She told me she hid it so no one else could have him but she was afraid your puppy would chew him up." Hailey laughed.

"Asher would never hurt a duck." Brittany looked at San "Why would you think he'd hurt the duck?"

"Because we took him to the park and he tried to catch a duck, Britt." Santana deadpanned "How do you not remember that? You were chasing after him!"

"They were playing." the blonde pet the blue ducks head "Asher just wanted to say hi."

"You two are way too cute." Hailey smirked "Seriously, I thought the pictures were cute, but I think my heart might explode. So, now that you have " Brittany looked at Santana who blushed at the name "what do you want to tell me?"

Brittany scooted closer to Santana, who gently drew patterns on her thigh. "Well, when I was a kid, twice actually, my mom had breast cancer. The first time they got it with radiation. When she relapsed they did surgery. They tested my sister and me to see if it was genetic after her relapse. Luckily, they didn't find the DNA code for it." Brittany mumbled, avoiding the main subject. "Anyway, as if our mom being sick wasn't bad enough, our dad was working full time to pay the hospital bills and spending most of his free time sitting vigil at her bedside. So my little sister and I were left home with my dad's buddy from college. Livvy was real little the first time, just a baby, I was seven. The second time I was twelve. He adored Liv, but I was a lot of work. I needed attention and help. With my mom's medical bills, I couldn't go to my tutors or therapists for my dyslexia and ADHD. We only managed to keep my dance lessons because the instructor didn't mind the money. But basically, I was a problem child, getting bullied, doing poorly in school, and having way too much energy to be pent up in a house. So I guess, he found a way to channel my energy. He hit me and he…" Brittany takes a deep breath and squeezes "raped me." She looks down at her lap, and she pets the duck, trying not to cry. Santana can read her though, and pulls her into her side. The blonde cries quietly, Hailey looking at them sadly.

"Is it okay if I talk to you while you cry?" Hailey says, and Brittany nods on Santana's shoulder, the Latina giving the doctor a thumbs up. "I think you both can work through this together. Because you've had such similar experiences, you can lean on each other, and when you feel the time is right, you'll be able to enjoy sexual experiences without shame or fear or guilt. I'm going to give you both a few things to work on. They help you channel the memories by writing them down and it lets you forget, but always remember. But it will help you two to find a way to have a deeper connection one day, and while I cannot condone while you're under eighteen, I most certainly know that a day will come." the doctor watches as Brittany lifts a red face from Santana's shoulder. "I want to thank you for sharing that with me. I think it helps me understand your relationship as well. The other thing these worksheets will help with is giving you some coping mechanisms so you don't develop any sort of codependency. And, I can conclude, that you probably have tried unhealthy coping just like Santana." Hailey eyes Brittany who nods. "I'd like it if you both came together again. And if you ever want to come alone Brittany, I will make sure you are allowed, regardless of finances."

"Thank you Hailey." the blonde sniffles "Therapy was something I originally enjoyed, it's how I learned to talk, read and write. Through music. And then it was ruined by people claiming to specialize in what I dealt with. Because of my dyslexia, they treated me as if I was five or an invalid. Thanks for not doing that."

"You know, we do music therapy usually, right Santana?" Hailey looks at Santana who grins so widely. Brittany shakes her head at her girlfriend's antics.

"What do you think, Britt? Want to show her the magic?" Santana asks and Brittany nods. Hailey walks to a cabinet in the corner, pulling out a half-size keyboard for Santana and a guitar for Brittany. "You got a song, Britt?" Santana asks as she fiddles with the settings. The blonde whispers the title in her ear and she nods.

Therapy, you were never a friend to me, and you can keep all your misery.

A/N: And there you have it! Moving forward in their relationship, regionals, and nationals and I guess I'll mention Faberry and their relationship again soon. Also, Sam, cause despite me hating Bram, I kinda love the friendship that these three SHOULD HAVE HAD.