"May I paint you?"
"What?!"

Our first afternoon of living together had started very quiet. A little reading, some TV, and a lot of restful sleep from Elsa.

"I usually take advantage of the holidays to make free paintings. In class, everything is always very structured and I like to do my own thing."
"What are you studying exactly?"
"I'm in the first year of Fine Arts."
"Oh. Impressive."
"No, it isn't. I will probably end my days begging and living off the fortune that Elsa will make in her research in Antarctica; but I like it."
"And what is what you like to do?"
"My specialty is oil landscapes, but I don't have much to paint right now. If I paint what can be seen through the window, it will be a very… white canvas."
"And what about painting a photo?"
"Is an option, but… I got something new and real to paint in front of me."
"Me?"
"Uh-huh…"

"I dunno, Anna. I'm not much into it."
"Come on, it'll be fun."
"For who?"
"For me, of course. You will have to spend hours trying not to change your posture or expression."
"So inviting…"

"But I'll put a heater toward you."
"Why…?"
"So you don't stay cold while you're naked."
"You must be kidding! I refuse."
"What?! Why?!"
"I'm not posing naked, Anna."
"Come on… You have a spectacular body and you said you had confidence in yourself."
"I… I didn't mean it like that."
"Well, that's how you'll build it."
"Definitely, the answer is no."
"And, leaving your clothes on?"
"Hm… I don't know."
"Do you have something better to do?"
"How about jumping into the snow to see if I sink and stay stuck there until it melt?"
"Seems like a good plan, but there is no carrot cake for breakfast in it."
"You're not going to buy me with cake."
"That's yet to be seen. I'm terrible at cooking, but I'm brutal with baking."

Anna ran to the fridge and came back with a nibble of cake in hand.

"Open your mouth."
"What f…?"

Before I finished my sentence, her hand was partially in my mouth along with the cake.

"Ffffuck!"
"How is it?"
"But I won't take my clothes off."
"Only the top."
"Hm…"

I couldn't believe what I was about to do for cake, but this was a fucking piece of heaven.

"Deal."
"Yahooooo! You're the best!"

Anna enthusiastically jumped into my arms again and laughed in my ear, to which, instinctively my arms covered her waist as I laughed too.

"Let's go, then!" she said walking away from me again and running upstairs. "Follow me! When I'm done with you, The creation of Adam is going to look like a dirty raccoon scrawl!"

And I followed her. And, as I took off my T-shirt before her, I couldn't feel happier for the choice of firm boxers for last night's party, that didn't reveal what her analytical gaze on my body was making me experience.

"You sure you don't take off your pants?"
"Completely."
"Okay. Anyway, you look amazing like this too."

I hid the colors in my face by bending down to turn on the heater and, after taking a couple of deep breaths, I stood up again and sat on the stool Anna had set up for me in the art room.

"Make yourself comfortable. This is going to take a while."
"What face should I make?"
"Just think about your things and forget that you're here. I will capture what comes up."

'Sure… I just have to forget that I'm half-naked in front of her while she studies me in detail, and start thinking about something other than the sensation of her fingers in my mouth or of her body in my arms. This is really going to be a very long while.'

After a long time during which the tension gave way to boredom, Anna's beautiful face of concentration suddenly changed to a grimace of amusement.

"You can talk if you want, you know?" she said then tilting her head to the side while searching for nuances between my features.
"I wouldn't be able to put on the same face again."
"You've changed your gesture a thousand times in this while; there won't be any difference."
"Did I?"
"It's the normal thing."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be. It is interesting to see reflected in your expressions how your train of thought travels."
"Uh… Well, I wouldn't know what to talk about, actually."
"It's okay, leave it to me. How did you meet Elsa?"
"She saw a chump in me and took advantage of it."
"What?"
"On the first day in college, we were coming out of the second period, and she was already receiving the third invitation in the morning for dating."
"Wow! I guessed she was popular, but not that popular."
"Well, at first it was a bit more extreme, but now things are calmer."
"Does she no longer receive proposals?"
"Not everyday."
"Oh."
"The thing is that I was passing by and I saw in her expression how trapped she felt. Her features are tough, but she is an open book."
"Yes, she is." "When we exchanged glances, I gave her an apologetic face. Not that it was my fault, but I felt bad about the harassment she suffered. And she took the opportunity: she hooked my arm and told the boy that she was sorry but that she had already arranged to go out with me. I thought that everything would stay there, but, at the end of the classes, she appeared next to me again, clung to my arm, and guided me to the library passing between the envious faces of all those who were waiting for her at the exit."
"So, did you go on a date?"
"No. She thanked me for my help, invited me to a lemon-lime ice-pop, and went off to study in a private booth. The next day, as I got off the bus, an ice-pop of those blue ones, which flavor I don't know what is supposed to be, awaited me in her hands. It's plain to see that it is a family thing to buy others with food."
"And it seems to work quite well with you."
"What can I say? I like ice."
"I'm not buying it. You're even more transparent than she is."
"What're you talking about?
"I'm saying you didn't do it because of the ice-pops; you did it because you wanted to help."
"No, the ice-pops were really good."
"And they cost about 20 cents."

The sudden silence made it perfectly audible how I breathed out of my lungs in surrender. For some reason, my natural barriers weren't working on Anna.

"She reminded me of me, okay? She seemed cornered and alone and I wanted to protect her."
"Were you harassed like that too? Not that I'm surprised, but…"
"No. Not like that. Let's say that my childhood was not an easy one and, well, people didn't exactly make it easier."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"No. I have no interest in making you depressed."
"As you want. But… if one day you feel like taking that weight off your shoulders… you can count on me."
"Thanks Anna. It means a lot."
"You don't need to thank me for anything. You've been taking care of the most important person in my life for four years. I wish I could do something for her too."
"Not so bad. She only uses me to shoo pests away."
"That's not true. She's found someone she can trust in you. She'd never trusted anyone other than me. Since our parents passed away she closed herself down and made sure the world could never touch her again. You have to be someone amazing to have gotten her to open up to you."
"I'm not amazing. I think she just feels understood."
"You underestimate yourself."
"And what about you? How did you deal with it? You were even younger than Elsa when they passed. Or… well, or don't answer. It was a stupid question."
"I… I did it even worse than her."
"What do you mean?"
"Elsa isolated herself from the world and I saw myself completely alone, so… I threw myself into the arms of the first jerk that smiled at me and then I was humiliated by him."
"Did he hurt you?"
"Only emotionally."
"Which is not a small thing."
"He made me believe that he loved me and, when he got me to do his final project for the technical drawing course, he told me I was pathetic and kicked me out."
"Son of a…"

"Yep."
"So are you also good at technical drawing?"
"I'm not bad at it."
"I don't think you're pathetic, by the way."
"Yeah… Thanks, but even I realize how ridiculous I was. I didn't even love him, but I didn't want to see it; I needed someone by my side."

It was evident how the tears threatened to come out of her eyes and, without a second thought, I got up and went to her.

"You're not pathetic, nor were you then. You felt lonely and sad and you looked for what you needed at that moment. It's not your fault that that scoundrel's intentions weren't good."

A couple of tears finally rolled down her cheeks and she quickly wiped them away, leaving two smears of paint on her face.

"Can you hold me just for a second?"
"I can hold you for as long as you need."

I took a step closer and, without waiting for her to get up, I wrapped my arms around her, letting her rest head and tears on my abdomen. The touch of her skin on mine, of her warm tears running down my belly and wetting the waistband of my pants, and of her silky hair tangling against me with each of her small movements was bewildering and overwhelming, and… I would not have changed it for anything.

"What about continuing with the painting thing at another time and we go to prepare dinner?" I said when her quiet sobs finally died down.
"It depends. What are we going to have for dinner?"
"I have no idea, but I'm going to make sure my food makes your smile come back."
"You are so sweet, you know that?" she said lifting her head at last and smiling at me with her crystalline eyes.

I did not answer. Nor would I have known what to say. I just held out my hand to her with a smile, grabbed my shirt with the other hand, and led her toward her own kitchen, ready to give my all to erase the pain from her life.