A/N: Well well well, I finally wrote something, who'd have guessed? This chapter has been in the works for a while, but I decide to shorten it up and plummet our girls into summer by the end of it. Major TW for s***-h*** in this chapter so just be aware. I just want to say sorry for the wait, and that I hope to have some updates for both over spring break about a week from now. Until then enjoy.
The song is by All Time Low, I don't own any songs.
Chapter 24: The Reckless and The Brave
There was only a week of school left when they got back from Nationals. That Monday, the halls were lined with congratulatory words for the club of misfits, banners hanging haphazardly from the ceiling. Sue even gave Brittany and Santana a personal congratulations when she personally helped set the trophy amongst the others they'd won. For Santana, the amount of attention was pretty overwhelming, having been a star performer it seemed everyone wanted to talk to her. Brittany and Asher stuck to her side, Asher quickly approaching his graduation in the next two months. By the end of Tuesday, Santana was happy to be in the choir room only because it was a safe haven from the crowds.
"Alright guys, I know you're all itching for summer vacation, but we've got one more assignment, personally chosen by Principal Sylvester." said. A collective groan was heard and he looked at them all, seeing the exhaustion on their faces.
"What's wrong with all of you? We just won a huge competition!" He asked.
"We can't get people to leave us alone." Sam explained, "I mean even us football players aren't used to this kind of attention." Finn nodded in agreement: this was attention no one in the school had seen beside the Cheerios.
"So Brittany, Quinn, how are you two holding up since this is something you're familiar with?" he asked.
"Well, we never dealt with it on the high school level really." Quinn looked to the other blonde, who Santana was resting a tired head-on "but honestly you have to humor them. It's completely exhausting though because now no one is afraid of us."
"It means EVERYONE is approaching us." Brittany took over "And, not to speak for everyone else, but usually, people approaching them had slushies in hand."
"That's a fair point. Here, Sue should be here right around now. Maybe she has some tips?" he offered, and right on queue, the aforementioned principal walked I'm.
"What happened to all you divas?" she looked over them, eyes barely open.
"They're exhausted from everyone approaching them." informed the principal laughing lightly.
"Schuester, it's not going to get better. Yearbooks come out this week. Everyone will want the signature of MVP Lopez and the next Whitney Houston Mercedes. And probably wheels I guess." she put her hands on her hips "Isn't this what you all wanted? To end the slushies and bullying?"
"We just wanted to be left alone to be truthfully honest with you Principal Sylvester." Rachel said quietly.
"And let me guess, I'm going to help? No can do, the students don't listen to me. Not on a matter like this. I'm sorry. My advice is to keep your head down, get to class early, and visit your lockers as little as possible." Sue sighed.
"Keeping my head down doesn't work anymore," Santana said from her spot, eyes blinking wearily behind her stringy bangs.
"Lopez, I can't help the fact that a dog brings attention to you." Sue explained "But if you'd like me to make an announcement reminding people to not touch him I can do that. But I fear it will just draw more attention to him and you."
"He warns people not to get close. It's his job. But they push him out of the way. He's going to get hurt." Santana pets the dog's head "I guess I can try your avoiding hallways method though."
"I'll send a mass email out. Try and keep you out of the hallways. Now, back to business, I want you to perform at the end of year assembly." she says "Just one number, something inspirational like you did at Nationals."
"Thanks, Sue, we'll get to work." looked at everyone "Songs, tomorrow." and dismissed them.
Santana was at the piano as soon as she was through the door. Diego looked up as Brittany closed the door, giving her a worried glance.
"Another long day chica?" he asked, and Brittany nodded, letting Asher out of his vest. He immediately nudged her hand, letting her know he loved her before trotting to lay by Santana's feet. She took a seat at the bar as Santana played notes on the piano and scratched out idea after idea. She took the offering of iced tea from Diego gratefully, watching Santana work through song after song until she heard something played multiple times through.
"Britt, I've got it!" Santana handed Brittany familiar lyrics The Reckless and The Brave by All Time Low.
"You think?" Brittany asked and Santana nodded excitedly.
"It is the perfect goodbye for the seniors and also celebratory for us. C'mon Britt, Schue will love it!" the Latina smiled and Brittany couldn't risk that smile disappearing.
"You're so right, baby." Brittany kissed a caramel cheek as the girl scribbled away on her sheet music. Diego smiled softly at the blonde- she'd changed his cousin for the better.
The next day, the girls avoided crowds relatively easily, Asher getting even better at blocking. It kept Santana on the high of finding the perfect song and she was buzzing with anticipation as they took their seats in the choir room. While she and Brittany never argued on their suggestions, it was clear the rest of the club was in a fury.
"Sam we can't SING the Star Wars music!" Mercedes said exasperatedly.
"It's called ACAPELLA." He groaned.
"If it ain't got a rap, I don't want anything to do with it, Finn!" Artie braked abruptly causing the oaf to stumble.
"Don't Stop Believin is OUR SONG"
"Says who, Hudson?" Quinn brushed past him irritated as Rachel droned on about Don't Rain On My Parade.
"Quinn would you shut her up? She doesn't need another solo." Tina said, before returning to lobbying for True Colors, Mike whining about the lack of danceability. Even the Gays were arguing as they came in. Santana's face dropped, and at that Brittany shouted, surprising nearly everyone.
"SHUT UP! asked for suggestions so GIVE THEM. Don't bother arguing with each other because he's bound to veto some of them." she huffed and flattened her yellow dress as she sat back down next to Santana
"Sorry, Britt," Mike said and she shook her head. There was no reason to argue. Unfortunately, Finn disagreed.
"And what genius idea do you suggest?" he rolled his eyes "Right, sorry, what does Santana have you lobbying for?"
The Latinas brown eyes snapped to the boy, ferociously asking him to speak again.
"I mean obviously you aren't capable of intelligent thought on your own." Santana was out of her seat in a second, grabbing Finn by the collar.
"You listen VERY carefully to me Hudson. Brittany is the smartest person in this dumb room so sit your ass down and never say a single word about her again." she tossed him into his chair and sat back down fuming as came in.
"Seriously?" he said, noting the piercing glares being traded "We went from exhausted to angry? You know what...just perform. I don't have the energy to meditate." he waited but no one made a move.
"Finn, do you have something to perform?" he asked and the footballer huffed.
"I'm nominating Don't Stop Believin." he made no move to get up.
"Sue would hate it. Next," he said, pointing to Rachel.
"I would like to suggest the wonderful amazing Barbara Streisand song Don't…"
"No way Rachel." Schue cut her off and pointed to Tina.
"True colors?" she said meekly.
"If you're not confident neither am I. '' he looked at Sam and Mercedes who just shook their heads, followed by Blaine and Kurt's non-committal head shakes leaving him with Santana and Brittany.
"Well my star?" he looked at Santana who nudged Brittany.
"We'd like to suggest The Reckless and The Brave," she said.
"Perform it." he opened up the floor and Santana quickly gave her sheet music to the band. After a quick performance, was easily convinced as was the rest of the club.
"I'll see you all tomorrow to start practicing." went to his office and they all left hastily, Rachel and Quinn catching up to Brittany and Santana.
"We're sorry about the arguing," Quinn said, Rachel nodding in agreement.
"You know I've never seen this team less unified than now." Santana turned to them "I get that we already won the competition but we shouldn't be falling apart just because we have no pressure!" Rachel and Quinn looked down ashamed.
"We really didn't mean to do that, we just all feel like maybe it won't be the same next year." Rachel sighed "What if Finn, Sam, and Mike can't do football and Glee?"
"What if Sue drags Britt and me back to the Cheerios?" Quinn added.
"Well, then we should enjoy our last performance together." Santana turned, pulling Brittnay with her. They were already walking off towards the treehouse park when of all people, Finn stopped them.
"What do you want?" Santana said irritably, Asher watching her intently.
"San, shhh." Brittany held the Latina to her side and nodded at Finn.
"I just wanted to say that I'd pick Glee club over football, and I know you'd pick it over Cheerios Britt." he scratches the back of his head. "Um, also I just, I wanna say I really admire you both for being so vulnerable with your emotions. I know it wasn't totally your choice but um...yeah." he turns to walk away when Santana calls him to wait.
"Finn, whatever it is that makes you so angry, in your heart, sing about it," Santana advised. He nodded solemnly, walking back towards the school. She took a deep breath and let Brittany lead her to the treehouse. With how big he'd grown it was a little tougher to get Asher up but they managed. Santana flopped down in the bean bag chair, sighing.
"So what's bothering you?" Brittany asked immediately, taking her seat in the other beanbag. Santana shook her head- she was just tired right? That was what was flaring her anxiety up. Asher whined and pawed at her knee.
"What is it Ash, is she okay?" Brittany asks as the dogs try to nudge Santana into a sitting position. Brittany pulls the Latina up and gags as she vomits over her shoulder. "Yeah, you're totally fine…as if. I'm calling Diego to come to pick us up." Brittany says.
It's only a few minutes later when Diego yells up to them. They send Asher down first, despite his protests to stay close to Santana who had vomited again. Diego then helps Brittany get Santana down the ladder. He lays her in the backseat with Asher on a towel. Brittany pulls her soiled shirt off and thanks to Diego as he hands her a jacket, his eyes darting between her scarred stomach and Santana. They get back to the Lopez residence where Ali is waiting. She lifts Santana herself, Asher hot on her heels, and puts her in the tub. Brittany is coming after her quickly, screeching to a halt as Ali keeps her from joining Santana in the bathroom.
"Let her break out of this stupor herself. She can do it." Ali assures. Despite that, Brittany and Asher sit right outside the door, the blonde digging her hands into the carpet as she hears the Latina cry. Asher paws at the door anxiously. It's when the water turns on that Brittany gets nervous. When she doesn't hear it turn off after two minutes she bursts in and sees Santana watching the water fill around her, still in her dirty clothes a razor balanced between her finger and thumb. The Latina takes no notice as the water turns off or as the blonde girl strips her clothes and drains the tub to let clean water refill. She doesn't even notice the blonde taking the razor and tucking it in her pocket. Brittany carefully washes and dries Santana before tucking her in upstairs. Ali smiles sadly when they pass her in the kitchen, but Brittany knows that she did the right thing. She grabs one of her shirts from her drawer and heads to Santana's ensuite. She takes off Diego's jacket and the razor chatters as it hits the floor having fallen from the hoodie pocket. She twirls the handle between her fingers and glances at herself in the mirror, grabbing at her stomach with her other hand. She needed to work out more. Her abs were losing some tone. She tried to reconnect to reality- this was in fact the best her abs had looked in many many years. She tapped the blade against her stomach… don't do it. She told herself not to. But then she pulled her pants down slightly, revealing a spattering of older fading scars on her thigh.
"Oh how sad! You must replace Brittany." her inner voice nagged "you need a reminder." She shook her head trying to silence the voice. It didn't work. She sunk to the bathroom floor crying as the sharp blade sliced into her skin slowly and deliberately. She sat there in shock afterward, four fresh scars oozing on her legs. Relapse. She relapsed. She found her phone on the counter and texted Diego to help her. Instead, seconds later, Santana was at her side, a wet washcloth pressed to her legs. She leaned her head back against the wall as the Latina made sure the wounds were clean and stopped bleeding. Santana helped her pull her shirt over her head and gently slide a pair of basketball shorts on. Finally, she took the razor, Brittany by her side, downstairs, and into her Tia's hands.
"Never put us in Diego's bathroom," Santana said quietly, sitting Brittany on a barstool and making the sniffling girl a hot chocolate. The blonde looked at the Latina gratefully, but Santana simply kissed her forehead and sat at the piano, playing a soft melody. Ali looked between the razor in her hands and the two girls before tossing it out. Ali sat next to Brittany, while Santana continued playing through some classic Mozart, clearing her mind for the moment.
"Do you want to tell me what happened?" she asked the blonde who shook her head. Ali sighed "I'm going to find out one way or another. But what I really want to know is what was going on here" she points to her heart "and here." she taps her temple.
"The voices." Brittany began "They said I needed to replace the faded scars."
"And why'd you believe them?" Ali asks.
"Because I...the reminder has always been the biggest sign to stop for me. The scars. They tell me not to again because look at the damage." Brittany admits.
"You're not damaged, Hermosa." Ali comforted. "But I understand. Just, don't let it happen again. Especially not here."
Brittany watched as Ali left and flopped herself on the couch, Asher sitting with her. Santana looked up from the piano after a few minutes.
"I...I need you to not do that again." Santana said softly.
"I'm sorry mi amor." Brittany took Santana's hands "I won't I promise."
"Okay...I um...I'm going to need some time to be close to you again. Intimately." Santana looked down.
"Honey," Brittany tilted Santana's chin up "that is something that will never ever cause resentment. Te amo"
"Te amo B." Santana allowed Brittany to hold her close. It was home in her arms.
The next day, Brittany was dreading Glee club. Dancing was the last thing she wanted to do. She confided her worries to Santana during their last class.
"Honey, if you don't want to dance, ask if you can sing lead. I'm not as great a dancer as you, but we can trade our usual spots." Santana said softly.
"And you say I'm a genius." Brittany smiled, getting back to her work.
" Alright, before we get started on practice, Finn asked to sing something," said as they all settled "Let's hear it!"
"Right, um, I just want to say I've been an ass rather than an asset, and I'm detained to make a change. So um this is Stand By You."
Hands put your empty hands in mine
And scars show me all the scars you hide
And hey, if your wings are broken
Please take mine 'til yours can open too
'Cause I'm gonna stand by you
Santana smiled, Finn had taken her words to heart. He was finally acting like a member of the team. She only hoped it stuck with him over summer.
"That was really nice Finn. Much better attitude than yesterday. Alright, let's get practicing, Santana, I assume you're taking the lead?" he looked up and Brittany piped up.
"Actually we were hoping I could take the lead?" She asked nervously.
"And dance? I don't know-"
"I'd be dancing." Santana said, "A complicated number doesn't fit the song anyway, and maybe Britt could play guitar too."
"Umm, if that's what you want, I need to hear it. I know you've got vocal chops Brittany but we haven't worked on them." He said.
"I can do this ." she determinedly got up and demonstrated the chorus.
"Well, I have to say, I'm impressed. You've got the gig. Santana, you don't need to dance, I want you as backup vocals. Quinn, you're with Mike. Rachel and Mercedes you're my two other vocalists. Artie, Tina, Finn, Sam, Kurt, and Blaine you're all dancing. Actually, my eight dancers, partners aren't necessarily needed so Quinn and Mike take lead on that. Vocalists, let's get these harmonies ready!"
It didn't take long before they had worked out the harmonies on the song, they were all pretty familiar with how their voices blended. The dancer decided against partners, opting for more synchronous dancing. Artie, of course, doing an altered version. It wasn't anything too complicated, just enough to add the pizazz Sue would be expecting. With only one day left practice, there was little else they could do.
Thursday breezed by, even though they practiced long and hard, it felt like no time at all before Friday came knocking on their door. They gathered in the gym for the end of school pep rally. Brittany had her electric guitar slung over her shoulders and was going over the chords once more with the members of the band. Santana, Mercedes, and Rachel were working on a little something to do with their mics while the rest of the club stretched and practiced their eight counts. Sue did a small speech and then the curtains opened.
Long Live the Reckless and The Brave
I don't think I want to be saved
My song has not been sung
So long live us
It was perfect. They had all the energy, and it was perfect for graduating seniors and everyone staying.
Got a van, got a chance, got my dignity
Got a dream, got a spark, got somewhere to be
Take a breath, say goodbye
To your precious little world
Santana took on some of the bridge belts, and Brittany smiled back at Santana as she played and sang beautifully. Applause echoed through the bleachers as they took the final bows of their freshman year. Things were looking up for the Glee club as they walked amongst the crowds of McKinley as champions. Little did they know all of that would be changing. However, first, they would take on summer.
A/N: And there you have it! I want to say that if you are struggling to please reach out for help. Hotlines are listed in the first "Chapter" and can be found easily online. Lots of love- GEK