As I watched her devour dinner, I wondered over and over again if that was where she got the energy and the overflowing joy that her smile gave off. After all that she had suffered, she still maintained that kind of shine; as if the illusion of a child lived inside her. I burned in desire to know what happened next, how she managed to get ahead, to regain her courage and confidence; I wanted to know what made her not lose faith in others. But couldn't ask. I had just met her and, clearly, that was non of my business, but, above all, I didn't want to make her remember again something that was hurting her so much.

If she cried out of anger, out of shame, for the loss of her parents, for feeling abandoned by her sister or for everything at the same time, it was an enigma for me, but knowing that I had been able to erase those tears from her face and give the joy back to her, made me feel fuller and prouder than anything else I had ever done in my life.

"You can ask, you know?" she said then as reading my mind. "It's okay."
"What do you expect me to ask?"
"Whatever you have in mind. I've already told you that your thoughts can be read in your face."
"There is nothing to ask. Just enjoy your dinner to your heart's content."
"Come on… I get bored being so quiet."
"Fiiine, how's the painting going?"
"That's not what you were thinking of!"
"It's what I'm thinking of now."
"No. Now you're thinking that you're hoping this distraction works so I don't insist that you ask me what happened when Hans dumped me."

She left me frozen in place.

"And… is it working?" I replied with a shrug, unable to hide my embarrassment.
"Not a bit, but I can answer that too."

I nodded waiting for her answer.

"I still have a few hours left with it, but, if you've gotten tired, I think I have quite internalized the image. Maybe you don't have to be stiff there any longer. Normally, I have a hard time capturing people's expressions, but for some mysterious reason, yours it's being so easy…"
"I don't mind to go on."
"Better for me," she answered laughing.
"Tomorrow is Christmas Eve," I said drastically changing the subject. "What should i do for dinner? I think Elsa will be able to eat by then, but it should be something soft."
"You don't really think that's gonna work, do you?"
"What's your interest in me making you cry again?"
"So is that why you didn't dare to ask? You don't have to worry about it. If I want you to ask me it's because I am very proud of what follows."
"Okay, you win," I replied laughing at that unexpected confession. "What did you do when that unpresentable rejected you?"

Anna puffed out her chest and crossed her arms.

"I broke his nose with my powerful fist."
"Are you serious?"
"Yes. I was expelled for two weeks, but it was worth it."
"Well done, feisty-pants."
"I thought you were going to lecture me about nonviolence."
"Hmmm… I should, yeah. But to be honest, if I had him in front of me right now, I would break it myself."
"Rage?"
"I guess. Repugnance too. And…"
"And protective instinct. You're like a huge doting papa, aren't you?"
"No, I'm not. In fact, tend to be rather indifferent."
"Negative. I don't believe it. You helped Elsa, you would help me, and I bet you would help anyone. You are a good guy."
"What did your friends do?"
"I had no friends."
"Now I'm the one not believing it."
"Why?"
"Because it is impossible that such a nice girl is not surrounded by friends."
"Do I seem nice to you?"
"It doesn't seem like a secret to me."

"Huh… Well, I'm going to tell you a secret: when you have money, people don't like you."
"Elsa doesn't seem to have that kind of problem."
"That's because her beauty makes them not care so much, but for someone more ordinary like me, it is a problem."
"Sure, as if you had something to envy her."
"What?"
"Maybe people don't know how to get close to you, but I bet they want to be by your side."
"You would?"
"I do."

'Wait, what did I just say?'

Anna stared at me fiercely and I ran to change the subject again before digging deeper under my feet.

"But now you do have friends, don't you? Those who are traveling."
"Yes. Olaf and Sven. They are lovely. I'm sure you would get along with them. But I met them already in college. Until then I've been alone."

A wave of grief and anger ran through me. I couldn't understand the world. I couldn't understand people. I didn't understand how they could have harmed such a gift to humanity. She didn't deserve it. The world didn't deserve her.

"But thanks to them I've regained my confidence and every day is fun. Also, they are both a bit protective, like you, and, with them by my side, I haven't felt alone again."
"I'm so glad."

And I meant it.

"There may still be salvation for the human species," I blurted out without too much thinking.
"You don't seem very optimistic about people."

Why did I want to tell her? I had never, ever, wanted to tell anyone about that. Not even Elsa knew. What was going on with Anna? What was going on with me?

"I was abandoned as soon as I was born."

Her eyes widened to an almost dangerous extreme just before frowning.

"So you are adopted?"
"I was a few times, but no one seemed interested enough in me to keep me in their family for more than a couple of months."
"Were you a problematic kid?"
"No more than a normal kid, I think."
"Then, I don't understand…"

"It is easy. If your parents don't love you, who's going to do it?"
"How can you say that? You were unlucky, but surely there are thousands of people in the world who would be delighted to have you in their family."
"It doesn't matter anymore. I've already left the orphanage and I've managed to get my studies based on scholarships. I don't need a family."

"You don't want a family?"
"I've gotten used to being alone."
"And what about your friends?"
"My what? I've come to hear mothers tell their children not to approach me because I was a troublesome child. Nobody wants to go with the kid that nobody loves. If you're not loved, it'll be for some reason; there is no need to find out why."
"So unfair!"
"It is what it is."

Anna lowered her gaze and bit her lip hard.

"Hey! Watch out with those teeth! Do you want to split your lip?!"

Suddenly she raised her eyes full of tears and pierced my soul with her whisper.

"Is it that nobody has ever given you true love?"
"Hey, don't worry, okay? I'm fine. Maybe I'm not the friendliest guy in the world, but…"

"Do you trust me?"
"What? Why?"
"Because it wasn't so long ago that you told me that you didn't trust others at all, not even Elsa. And… if you don't call this entrusting your heart to me… I no longer know anything."
"I do trust you."
"Really? Why?" she replied, sniffing and wiping her face with her sleeve.
"I don't know. You got me completely adrift, but… there is something in you that makes me trust. You are different."
"Weird, that's what you mean."
"It's not a bad thing to be weird."
"Thank you…"

"No, thank you."
"What did Elsa say when you told her?"
"Elsa doesn't know."
"No? You've been getting along for almost four years."
"And?"
"What do you do in all the time you spend together?"
"Talk about rocks?"
"Can't believe you."

I gave her a smile that made her really believe me and she opened her mouth wide. Then, she pulled her chair closer to mine and sat a few inches from me.

"I think tomorrow we should make a huge mountain of fries for dinner," she finally said.
"And, what else?"
"That's all."
"Are you kidding?"
"With a lot of sauces!"

"Why?"
"Don't you think it's a fun dinner? And then we go to bed soon, because the next day we have to get up early to open the gifts!"
"Are you going to make a convalescent get up early?"
"Of course I'm going to!"
"I was afraid you'd say that…"
"Will you get up early too?"
"Wouldn't you prefer to do it alone? It's a family moment."
"Nope. I want you there."

"You don't have to feel sorry for me, you know?"
"I'm not. I like your company."

Could I believe her? Wasn't it just her pure heart trying to take care of the sad orphan boy?

"I mean it," she said answering my thoughts again.

I didn't know if I should, but I believed her.

"I'll be there, then."
"Great! Then have a good night," she said getting up from the chair. "Get plenty of rest and get the strength to peel a bunch of potatoes tomorrow."
"I will," I replied chuckling. "Good rest to you too."

And, as if it were the end of a spell, she leaned over me, placed a tender kiss on my cheek, and left the kitchen bouncing while I watched her go, overwhelmed by the power she had over me; scared of having opened my heart; and terrified of wanting to give her the key of it.