a/n: I'm back! I'm on winter break from school right now, lucky for all of you that means I have time to write something that isn't a literary analysis essay. This is a tough chapter to read, so please tread lightly. Unfortunately, alot of this will play into our plot, but you may want to skip flashbacks (they're italicized). All the TW mentioned in the description apply but specificallyTW: R*pe, S-H, f-slur, gay bashingThe song is by Falling in Reverse
Chapter 30: Superhero
The anniversary of their attacks loomed before Santana and Quinn that gloomy Monday morning that marked the second week of school. School had begun one week earlier this year, giving them both a whole week to worry about what would happen. They were walking in to school with Rachel and Brittany when Sue pulled the four of them into her office.
"I just got some news you need to hear. Sit down." she said. The four girls sat nervously across the desk from the now Principal.
"Puckerman's appealing for parole today." Sue explained "He's going to play the young kid who made a mistake card. Try to throw Karofsky under the bus. Blame it all on him."
"But I testified that it was his idea! All of it. Some of the ex-cheerios too!" Quinn was exasperated.
"I know Q. He's trying to get your testimony and the other Cheerios thrown out for bias- and on that he has ground to stand on." Sue sighed "You were raped by him all the same. You were head Cheerio. Of course they'd follow you."
"Shit." Quinn ran a hand through her hair "What about Karofsky's testimony? They can't throw that out too." Quinn worried.
"They're going to claim bias again. Protecting himself." Sue said.
"This is bull." Brittany interrupted "Neither of those bastards deserve to see the light of day outside prison bars."
"Cool it blondie. I'm going to do everything to stop it. Your testimony is part of it as well as Kurt Hummel. I'll also be looking for witnesses on both last year's football and Cheerio teams. Pucks previous action against Santana by defacing her locker will also be noted. And Karofsky's lawyer is fighting back too." the principal assured.
"What happens if either of them get out?" Santana asked quietly.
"Neither of them would be allowed to attend nor step foot on the grounds of McKinley. A criminal restraining order would ban them from being within 500 feet of either of you, your place of work and your homes." Sue looked to Brittnay and Rachel "You'd both need to file for civilian restraining orders to assure they couldn't come near either of you as well."
"I can't believe this is happening." Rachel shook her head "Do you think they have any chance of being let off after only a year."
"We've seen young men get away with more for far less." Sue shrugged "I'll keep you updated. I'm sorry, really."
The four girls got up and slowly made their way to their first classes, the dread completely dragging them down. At lunch, Kurt looked similar, his usual cheery smile lost. The rest of the Glee club looked at them all in confusion, wondering what had happened to the hope expressed last week. Santana quickly grew agitated by the eyes being on her. She hated unwanted attention, and Asher signaled to her that she was beginning to panic. With Santana sitting at the lunch table, he could properly perform DPT and he could tell things were getting worse at a rapid pace. He pawed at her again, trying to urge her to move to sit on the floor, but with all the eyes around Santana wasn't going to. She knew it could end badly, but she didn't care. Asher did what he was trained to do in a situation like this and alerted Brittany. The blonde nods and gently puts an arm around Santana.
"Do you want to go outside?" Brittany asks calmly, and Santana nods. Without another word, Brittany leads Santana outside the cafeteria doors, Asher on her other side. Carefully, she helps the Latina sit against the wall, and Asher can do his job. Brittany does her best not to interfere. She can tell Asher is being effective and doesn't want to change that. After a few minutes Santana leans against her shoulder, and Brittany lets out a shaky breath she didn't know she'd been holding in. She gently wraps an arm around her girlfriend, and Santana scoots closer to her, letting her know it's okay. Asher lays his head on Brittany's knee, and Santana gives her the okay to pet him. They stay outside together, sitting quietly, until the lunch bell rings. Brittany laces their hands together as they make their way to their final classes of the day. Rachel and Quinn look at them in relief when they take their seats. Brittany hopes the rest of the club hadn't looked to them for an explanation of their abrupt departure from the cafeteria. It isn't until after school that they actually have a chance to talk.
"Hey guys." Brittany says as she closes her locker. Santana is still putting her books away as Quinn and Rachel approach.
"What happened to you during lunch?" Quinn asks "After you left everyone started asking us what was going on."
"I'm sorry." Santana said, not looking away from her locker.
"San, we don't need to apologize." Brittany says. "We needed to get away from everyone."
"So did we, but we sat through it." Rachel shook her head "Poor Kurt was absolutely frozen."
"You have every right to leave just like we did." Brittany pointed out.
"It just draws more attention. We were trying to act like everything was normal." Quinn was exasperated.
"Calm down." Santana said quietly, finally closing her locker.
"You have no right-" Quinn starts but she stops seeing the tired eyes of her friend. "Sorry...I just felt like you left us out to dry."
"I had to leave. The cafeteria was the last place I needed to have a panic attack." Santana says. "That would've just caused even more attention."
"I guess we just felt a little betrayed. But I understand now. I'm not sure about Kurt though. He seemed really shaken up." Rachel said "I think there's something more to it for him."
"I've got it." Brittany assures the three "See you all in the choir room in a few?"
"Yeah. We'll head there now." Rachel and Quinn walk with Santana as Brittany heads in the opposite direction towards Kurt's locker.
"Not so fast blondie." Mercedes says. "Kurt doesn't need your bull."
"It's okay Cedes." Kurt says calmly closing his locker "Head on to Glee club, we'll be there in a minute."
"Right." Mercedes says, walking away slowly.
"Sorry about her. She's the only one who's told up for me against everybody's questions." Kurt says "Since you weren't there to protect me like you've always promised."
"Kurt, you know Santana has to be my priority." Brittany softens "I want to be there for both of you for Q and Rach too."
"You've been the only person on my side since we started school. I feel like I've completely lost my friend." Kurt admits "You promised, no matter Cheerios, girls, boys or anything else you would be there for me."
"I know. But that was before her." Brittany sighs "Kurt, you have to see what she means to me."
"I do. And I'm okay if she comes first. But a little care spent on me would be nice. Just because she didn't want to see anyone else all summer doesn't mean you couldn't come see me." Kurt shakes his head "I get that you two are inseparable, but I needed you. You have no idea what happened this summer."
"I don't. So tell me." Brittany says.
"We have Glee club." Kurt reminds.
"Fuck Glee. What happened this summer?" Brittany pushes.
"I was gay bashed." Kurt seems to shrink "I was at the mall. Alone. Because Mercedes was out of town. And you were busy." Kurt says "There was a sale. I wasn't going to miss it. Everyone was going fine, I got what I wanted. The mall was pretty crowded, but I thought safety in numbers, right?" He shakes his head.
"I should've left as soon as I'd gotten what I wanted. But the food court was calling to me. I didn't realize the mistake I'd made until it was too late."
"Who did it Kurt?" Brittany huffs "I'll show them."
"Stop Britt. It was some random full grown men. They dragged me into the bathroom and blocked the door." Kurt takes a shaky breath "They tore through my bags, ruining everything I bought. I could've lived with that. But then the bigger guy took a look at what I was wearing. Apparently it had to go. Once my clothes were gone he ordered the other guys to take it out to the dumpsters and watch the door."
"Kurt…" Brittany starts but he holds up a hand.
"He pushed me to the tile floor, knocking my head down. My vision got pretty blurry. I started to scream. I screamed for help. He slapped me. I kept screaming. He slapped me again. I didn't stop screaming tell he put his hand on my throat."
Flashback"Stop screaming or I'll kill you f*got" the burly man said. Kurt nodded vehemently, suffocating."Good boy." The man removed his hand from Kurt's throat. "But just to make sure you're quiet." The man yanked Kurt up so he was kneeling "I'm gonna stuff your mouth."End flashback
"Kurt I'm so sorry I-" Brittnay tries but Kurt shakes his head wiping tears.
"It doesn't end there."
FlashbackThe burly man drops Kurt after he finishes watching as the boy sputters and spits."What? Not your flavor. So picky." he kneels down so he's eye level with Kurt. "You better keep quiet boy." Kurt sputters but nods."Good. Now be a good boy and stay still." he says.End flashback
"He raped me Britt. Made sure I came too. Just to prove it "wasn't" rape. Then, when he'd had his fun, he kicked me. Everywhere. Lastly, my head. Made sure I was knocked out." Kurt sniffles wiping away tears. "When I came too, everything was dark. There were some clothes laying nearby, just a baggy t-shirt and boxers. They seemed clean enough, but at that point I'd have worn nearly anything. I struggled to get up. Nothing seemed broken, but I was in bad shape. As I stood the lights in the bathroom flickered on and I made my way to the mirror. I nearly vomited."he wipes a few more tears. "I was covered in bruises and blood. My hair was matted with who knows what. I limped out of the bathroom to discover only a janitor roaming the now closed mall."
Flashback"What are you doing here? You homeless?" the janitor asked."I'm sorry, no, I'll go I just need to find my phone and keys." Kurt looked hoping they'd been left but knew it was hopeless. The janitor flicked on the hall light."Kid what happened to you?" he asked."I'm fine. Can I borrow a phone?" Kurt whimpered."Kid...I gotta call the cops." the janitor shook his head."Please just let me call my dad?" Kurt begged."Alright kid, but you ain't leaving my sight. Is that understood?" the janitor said handing him his phone."Yessir." Kurt dialed Burts phone number."Hello? Have you seen my son?" Burt worried."Dad it's me." Kurt cried."Kurt! Where are you? Whats wrong?" Burt says "Why haven't you come home?""Can you...can you come to the mall please?" Kurt asked."I'm on my way. Is somebody there with you? Who's phone is this?" Burt mumbled, clearly moving as he spoke."The night janitor." Kurt explained."Give the man his phone." Burt instructed. Kurt handed the janitor his phone."Hello?" the janitor said."Have you called the police yet?" Burt asked."No sir. Your son asked, begged, to call you first." the janitor said shakily "I'm sorry.""No. Don't be. I'll call them. You stay on this line though. Come to the entrance with him okay?" Burt pleaded"Yessir, right away." The janitor said "Let's go kid. Your dad's on his way."End flashback
"Kurt, I am so so sorry." Brittany wiped a few of her own tears.
"When my dad arrived, the cops were there too. I told them where it happened and gave my statement. I was taken to the hospital for a rape kit and treatment. They caught them not long after. They didn't even need my testimony. There was enough evidence." Kurt sighed.
"I should've been there…" Brittany paces. "I should've…" Brittany punches a locker, denting it.
"Britt!" Kurt grabs the girls and pulls her to him. Forcing her to hug him. She squeezes him, but loosens when he whispers "my ribs, Brittany. "
"I failed you." she says.
"No...I...this isn't to make you feel guilty. I just need you to know that the man...that was Karofsky's dad and friends." Kurt whispers "My testimony is going to be worthless."
"Shit." Brittany says, punching the locker again. "Shit. Shit. Shit!" she punches the locker three more times.
"Britt?" she's hears a soft voice, not Kurt's. Standing beside Kurt is a worried looking Santana, followed by the rest of the Glee club.
"I…" Brittany looks between everyone and sprints down the hall into the bathroom locking the door.
"What did you do?" Santana turns ferociously toward Kurt "What did you do to her?"
"I didn't do anything Santana. Honest!" Kurt says scared, hands up in surrender.
"You did something. Tell me!" she shouts in his face.
"I just told her what happened this summer!" Kurt whimpers, preparing for a punch and turning his face away, trembling.
"Woah, Kurt." Santana's demeanor changes "Did you think I would hit you?"
"Yeah." he turns back to her nervously.
"I would NEVER lay a hand on someone unless I knew they fully deserved it." Santana softens "I'm sorry. I'm scared. About Brittany. That doesn't give me the right to scare you."
"You're damn right!" Mercedes says "control your damn self. This boy has been through enough." she wraps Kurt up in a hug.
"Okay. Okay. I'm.. I'm going to try and get Brittany to let me in. Someone get Sue so she can unlock the door?" Santana asks.
"I'll get her." Quinn says.
"Everyone else, let's call it a day." Mr. Schue says "Go home. Stay safe." he ushers the rest of the Glee club towards the exit of the school.
"What happened to that locker?" Sue says as she rounds the corner.
"Brittany happened." Kurt whispers.
"Hummel?" she says. "Where is she?" Quinn, Mercedes and Kurt point down the hall where Santana is fruitlessly trying to open the door.
"Brittany, please just let me in!" Santana shouts. Asher barks.
"Lopez." Sue says, "I'll let you in."
"Thank god." Santana says. Sue opens the door and Santana stops in her tracks seeing shattered glass on the floor.
"Asher, stay." She says. The dog lies down just outside the bathroom door.
"Brittany?" Santana moves into the bathroom, glass crunching under her, luckily, thick soled shoes. She hears a soft cry from the handicap stall.
"Britt...no…"she watches as the girl drops the shard of glass. "SUE!" Asher jumps up in alert but Quinn holds him back. Sue rushes in.
"Fuck." Sue says surveying the scene and pulls out her phone.
"911, what's your emergency?"
The ambulance refuses to let Santana ride along. Sue goes with instead, and Ali follows behind, taking all four kids with her. Santana calls the Pierces, who promise they're on their way. Asher tries to calm Santana the whole time, and she pets him, trying her best to stay calm as well. They enter the waiting room around the same time as the Pierces. Both Santana and the Pierces rush to the desk to ask for Brittany's room number.
"We'll let you in as soon as the doctors okay it. Now please sit down." The nurse at the desk says "It may be a while."
"This is bull." Santana huffs, throwing herself in a chair between Ali and Kurt.
"It's protocol mija." Ali reminds.
"Whatever." Santana turns to a nervous looking Kurt "You don't have to stay."
"I feel responsible." Kurt says sheepishly.
"Well, if you're gonna sit here, you might as well tell me what you told Brittany." Santana sighs.
"I'm not sure that's such a good idea." Kurt plays with his hands.
"I agree. It's probably better if he doesn't." Mercedes says.
"I'm not fragile. Tell me or go home." Santana says "seriously. Make your decision."
"Alright, alright." Kurt says. "I'll tell you." He goes on to tell Santana everything that happened that summer. When he finishes Santana sighs heavily.
"I'm really sorry that happened to you Kurt. And even more sorry it was Karofsky's dad. But what sent Britt spiraling?" she asks.
"Before that I may have said something along the lines of feeling betrayed by her?" Kurt squeaks.
"You're joking right? Damn it Kurt...why the hell would you do that?" Santana crosses her arms.
"A long time ago, Britt promised she'd always be there for me...she hasn't been. Not since you showed up." Kurt sighs "And it's okay that she looks after you. Heck, I wish she'd look after herself as well as she looks after you. But I really needed my best friend. It's not about her not being there that day. It's that I called her everyday after and she was with you every single time."
"I'm so sorry Kurt. If I knew, I would've told her to go. Maybe even have you over too." The Latina sweeps her hair back "You can count on us from now on. You hear me?"
"I'll try to trust that." Kurt accepts.
"And you have me." Mercedes reminds.
Before anything else can be said, the nurse calls out Pierce. Santana hurries after the Pierces.
"You can go see her now. She's on some pain medication. And she's on a 24 hour watch." The nurse says "Family only" she directs at Santana.
"Santana is family." Mr.Pierce says seriously "Britt will want to see her."
"Fine." the nurse says "Go."
"Brittany, mi amor…" Santana sighs, taking one of Brittany's pale hands. She holds back a gasp at a new bright scar going from her wrist down half her forearm.
"Britt Bee…" she looks up as the Pierces trace a similar line on her other arm.
"Huh?" Brittany stirs "San? Mom? Dad" she says as she blinks her eyes open. She follows their gazes to her arms and yanks them away.
"Mi amor, why?" Santana asks.
"I deserve to feel all the pain Kurt did.He could've died Santana. " Brittany looks to her parents. "I am so sorry. How are we gonna explain this to Liv?"
"We're not. You are. Your sister looks up to you. We think she deserves to hear it from you." Mrs.Pierce says.
"Mom...I don't think that's a good idea." the blonde says uncomfortably.
"All due respect, but I agree. Liv doesn't need to know what the marks on our skin mean." Santana says.
"She keeps asking questions. And this will just be the breaking point. I agree with you girls, I think she's maybe a bit young at nine but...it's seemingly the only option." Mrs. Pierce says.
"What have you told her before?" Mr. Pierce asks "I mean she saw yours when you all were swimming this summer right Santana?"
"Yeah. She didn't ask, so I never said anything. Didn't you have to explain any of Britts already?" Santana asks.
"I'm good at hiding them. Especially from Liv." Brittany sighs "but I won't be able to hide these. Or a hospital stay."
"I think we have to go about it gently then. Let me ask my Tia if she has any ideas. If that's okay of course." Santana stands.
"Yes, of course. It'll give us a moment to talk to Brittany as well." Mr. Pierce says.
"I'll be back." Santana kisses Brittany's forehead. She heads out to the lobby, where Ali is the only one left.
"Did everyone else go home?" Santana asks.
"Yeah, one of their parents took them all. How's she?" Ali invites Santana to sit down.
"She's okay. I haven't really figured out why she thought that was necessary but I guess she'll tell me when she's ready." Santana shrugs.
"I'm sure. So what brings you out here?" Ali says "I'm not lonely or bored. No worries."
"The Pierces aren't sure how to approach the subject of self harm with Olivia." the Latina nervously twiddles he thumbs.
"Is it necessary to say anything?" Ali repeats the query posed by Santana and Brittany.
"They think so. She's just so little." Santana looks down to her lap "Do you have any ideas?"
"This isn't really my area of expertise mija. I study cancer, but I don't treat it. Doctors who've explained that may have a better idea." Ali smiles softly.
"That's it! Thanks Ali!" Santana runs back to Brittany's room, Ali left bewildered. She knocks on the door and the Pierces let her in.
"Just the girl we were looking for. Sit down for us." Mrs.Pierce said.
"Of course. I may have figured out how to tell Liv." Santana says excitedly.
"That's fantastic, babe." Brittany says, grabbing Santana's hand.
"We appreciate it as well. But Brittnay mentioned the new situation with your case." Mr. Pierce said "How likely do you think it is they'll be released? Does Ali have any idea? I know she's fairly good with this legal stuff."
"I haven't asked her. You're welcome to though. What prompted you to worry about that though?" Santana worries.
"I don't think Brittany's testimony will hold ground with her history with Noah." Mrs.Pierce says "She and him have fought all their school days. If his lawyer is as good as Sue says, this is an uphill battle."
"I figured as much. But I'm hoping justice will be served. Right now, my worry is Liv." Santana changes the subject.
"Right. What was your idea?" Mr. Pierce asks.
"I hope this doesn't strike a nerve, but Ali said it might be best to approach it in the way you approached telling your children about your cancer diagnosis." Santana explains.
"That's actually a really good way to frame it. We were very gentle but still truthful when we explained it. I still remember my first bout and how we told Britt." Mrs. Pierce says "I think we can work with that framework.
"Great. As much as I think she'd benefit from understanding its not just Brittany who has this struggle, I've found I don't think it's a conversation I should necessarily be a part of." Santana admits.
"We agree with whatever you decide to say about your life." Mr. Pierce assures.
"Thank you. I think I'm going to go home though." Santana kisses Brittany's forehead "Te amo."
Brittany took a few days at home after she was released from the hospital. It gave her and her family some time to delve into next steps in her journey with therapy and to talk to Liv. The conversation had been nerve-wracking but relatively successful. Tears were shed by all, and Liv definitely seemed different. Everyday when she'd get home from school, she'd immediately snuggle up next to Brittany on the couch. The elder Pierce sister didn't mind, she even liked helping Liv with her homework, but she was worried about her sister. On Friday, Brittany went back to school trying to figure out what would make Liv feel better.
"Hey Britt." Santana said as she slid into the passenger seat of her girlfriend's car "How are you feeling? Sure you don't want to just take the weekend?"
"I'm good San. Plus I really need to figure out something to put a smile on Liv's face. If anything, some normalcy might help." Brittany says.
"We can ask the Glee club. Maybe a song?" Santana asks as they pull out of the Lopez driveway.
"That was my thoughts exactly. I was just struggling to pick one." the blonde admits "Do you think you can try to find something?"
"It's one of my many talents." the Latina says as they park "I have a few things in mind already. We'll go over it at lunch?" Santana asks as she secures Asher's vest.
"Perfect." Brittany takes Santana's hand and they make their way to their first class. For the most part, their friends just express how happy they are to have Brittany back. Kurt does pull her aside to have a short conversation, but it seems like it's good for them both. At lunch, Santana presents a few songs before Brittany hears one she likes.
"What song is this?" she asks, turning to her girlfriend. Santana unlocks her screen.
"You like this one?" the shorter girl says, getting a nod of approval "Do you think Liv will?"
"I hope so. Now the only question is how to present it." Brittany sighs "I wish I had more time."
"Honey, don't rush it. But I think Liv will love anything you do." Santana gently reminds her.
"It's gotta be now. My little sister's eyes aren't sparkling San." the dancer shakes her head "I've got an idea."
Brittany takes the floor as soon as she gets into the Glee club while Santana talks to Mr.Schue. The Pierces will bring Liv to the auditorium in an hour. It's not a lot of time, but Brittany is determined. Mike quickly puts a simplistic dance together with Quinn. Santana offered backing vocals and Artie employed the AV club's help for some lighting.
"Hey Livvy." Santana says, taking the girl to her very special front row seat "are you excited to see your sissy sing?"
"Yeah, 'specially cause you're singing too." Liv cracks a small smile "Can Asher sit with me?"
"He sure can." Santana says "Go ahead and say hi, I'm gonna get up on the stage."
"This song goes out to everyone who's ever struggled the way I have and to a very special little girl- my baby sister Liv!" Brittany says queuing the band. Brittany's voice cracks a bit through the first bit of the song, but she really finds her confidence in the second verse.
You're caught in a cycleYou'll never get outAfraid of your shadowAnd living in doubtBut this isn't overIt's only begunAnd there is no honorIn giving it all up
After the guitar solo, both her and Santana put everything they have into the last chorus.
Superhero'Cause I can't save myselfMuch less somebody elseSo I gotta do better
Brittany brushes her hair back, exhausted from a vocally trying song. Liv, with the help of Finn, get up on the stage and Brittany lifts her into her arms.
"Thanks Britty." she says quietly "You don't have to be a Superhero, but I think you are a pretty super sister." The Glee club echoes an ahh and Santana smiles, going up to the sister.
"And you'll always be my hero." Santana says kissing Brittany's cheek.
A/N: I know that was probably a tough read, it was tough to write. don't worry, the start of the chapter hasn't been forgotten. I will tackle it all in the next chapter.On Falling In Reverse: Ronnie Radke has a...sketchy past and a sketchy reputation. I don't personally know enough about him to form an opinion one way or the other. I like his music, that's my only opinion. I just wanted to address that for those who are more familiar with him.