Original Publish Date: 22nd-September-2015

Updated: 24th-September-2015

Chapter 2 – Hospital Beds

I've got one friend, Laying across from me

I did not choose him, He did not choose me

We have no chance, Of recovering, Laying in hospitals

- Hospital Beds, Florence + the Machine

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The intermittent beeping was the first thing I heard.

I had a few vague flashes of people standing over and/or bent over me, all of whom wore the beige uniform of the Konoha medic corps; their hands covered in the green film of medical chakra and in varying states of panic. I think one or two might have asked me a couple of questions, but I must have lost consciousness before I could answer. I could finally identify the beeping as a heart monitor.

It took me a while to fully return to consciousness and process where I was. My head ached and my body was stiff, but I was alive. I had survived a trip through time and space, and somehow not been rent apart at the seams. And what was my reward? A hospital bed.

It would have been funny, had it not been so hopelessly inadequate. I mean, did they even have a standard procedure for those affected by supernatural events? Not to mention meeting the freaking Shinigami? 'Of course they do,' I imagined Sakura-chan speaking, complete with the scoff and rolling of the eyes, 'it's called an autopsy'. I cracked a smile at that, even though Sakura-chan wasn't physically there to make the joke.

"Ah, I see you're awake. You gave us quite a scare, you know."

I started violently at the unexpected sound; and given the painful protest given by my body, promptly realized that the stiffness my body was experiencing was not just from disuse, but from limbs that were wrapped in casts. After a moment though, the pain reduced to a dull throb, and I found myself strangely disappointed at the lack of extended pain. Did this mean I was one of those masochists now?

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to startle you."

And despite everything I had been through, despite all the soul crushing pain and death I had experienced; hearing that wise old familiar voice was a balm to my wounded soul.

I opened my mouth to say "Hokage-jii-chan" like I used to as a kid, but a cough from cotton mouth quickly put a stop to that. The Sandaime Hokage poured a glass of water, and held it out for me to take. I reached across myself with my sole functioning limb, my right hand and slowly swallowed the lifesaving liquid. Not for the first time, I marveled at how refreshing and revitalizing a simple glass of water could be.

"I always had a flair for the dramatic." My voice came out raspy, making me realize how exhausted I was, even though I had done nothing but lie in a bed for the last…huh. How long had I been out anyway?

Although I couldn't see it, I could sense the old man's amusement at my light hearted reply. It was something I could pick up on even as a child, knowing when he was genuinely upset with me and when he was amused by my antics but going through the motions of giving me a dressing down anyway.

"Well, you certainly livened up our day with your antics. Although I daresay that my ANBU were not pleased with how you appeared in my office on their watch, especially given your condition."

I felt my face fall into a grin, but that action caused a sudden stab of pain which cut off my boast about giving ANBU the runaround when still in my pre-teens. The beeping from the monitor got louder and more animated for a few moments, prompting a doctor to burst in to the room and start checking up on me. While running a diagnostic, he simultaneously started attempting to admonish the Hokage on not being informed as soon as his patient woke up. The old man simply ignored him with a well-practiced gesture, prompting me to crack another smile. It was then that I realized that the doctor had asked me a question while I had been caught up in my amusement.

"I'm sorry, could you repeat that?"

"How did you even get such injuries? In my entire career I've never seen a single case with injuries as extreme as yours, let alone survive; and I served as a field medic in the last war."

What a bright ray of sunshine. Really, his bedside manner probably won him awards at doctors' conventions or something. Although, in fairness, I did have 3 limbs in a cast, lungs shredded with broken ribs, internal bleeding in multiple places, liver damage due to poisoning, and a whole host of other injuries that I probably wasn't even aware of. It had been worse, but Kurama had worked overtime to reduce the damage; until he had been ripped from me atleast. But now, back in the present, I was in the awkward position of answering a question without bringing up sensitive information. A partial answer would have to suffice.

"I used a Shinjutsu (Suicide Technique)."

He gave me a look that left me in no doubt as to what he thought of my actions; no doubt he had perfected it on a number of patients before I came along. Once again he started muttering to himself as he poked and prodded at various parts of my anatomy; I tuned him out with a practiced ease, my technique having being perfected on Tsunade-baa-chan herself and this guy had nothing on her. I looked around and found the Hokage looking at me with a frank assessing gaze, undoubtedly weighing my words and trying to decipher their meaning.

Having completed his checkup, the doctor pursed his lips, "As far as I can tell, you're healing up nicely; although it's far too quickly for my liking. Do you have a Kekkei Genkai or something?"

"Or something", I quipped agreeably.

He nodded, "That explains it then; someone with your level of injuries should have been where you are after eight or nine months, not two-o…" he stuttered and trailed off sheepishly. The reason was the Hokage, who without moving a muscle, either in his face or his body, was somehow managing to radiate disapproval. It was quite impressive.

It had confused me for a moment, until I realized that I was an unknown quantity to these people. This might have seemed like a concerned Hokage checking up on his injured ninja on the surface, but this was an interrogation. A subtle interrogation, to be sure, but there is a reason that torture is the last resort for gathering information. Information gained from a relaxed target is generally far more reliable than one gained from someone who would say anything to make the pain stop. And during an interrogation, the information is supposed to flow from the prisoner to the jailor, not the other way around. Even letting someone know mundane details such as the date could have significance; which is why the higher level prisoners are kept underground and in the dark, to mess up their perception of time.

Now that I was a little more alert, I made a few observations. The Hokage had not come within arm's reach of me; even when he handed me the water he had made me reach across myself. Not that I could conceivably attack him with three limbs out of commission, but he hadn't become the Hokage by taking needless risks. The bed I was on was also one that was used on prisoners; it allowed for the internal circulation of chakra, but it did not allow it to be manipulated outside the body. There were ANBU in two corners, and one just outside the open door. There were other subtler clues too, but I it was enough for me to pick up on the gist of the message: You are our prisoner.

The doctor, trying to mask his unintentional slip and subsequent reddened face, asked "So does it hurt anywhere in particular?"

I scoffed. I couldn't help it. I should be dead to start with, and then I had been forced through time and space and pain and death; of course I bloody hurt. "Everywhere. I have a particularly nasty headache though." Having two simultaneous conversations were enough to ring my bell at the moment. Slayer of Orochimaru/Sasuke, defeater of just about every single S-rank ninja in Edo Tensei mode no less, and speaking a few words was enough to knock me over.

The doctor looked inordinately pleased (why are all doctors so creepily happy when you tell them you hurt?) as he extended a hand glowing with the Mystical Palm technique towards my forehead. I reflexively closed my eyes as he ran the diagnostic and applied a minor treatment. "Your brain is still slightly swollen, so I'm not surprised. It should go away in a day or two, so don't overtax yourself unnecessarily." He made a note on the clipboard and finally started to leave. He paused at the door, "No more than fifteen minutes please, Hokage-sama", he said, slightly abashed, not quite meeting the Hokage's eyes. Steely grey eyes that were fixed on me, and had no doubt seen me catalog the various clues and subsequently make the realization that I was a prisoner. His unblinking gaze unnerved me the same way it had when I was a child, and I had to physically stop myself from fidgeting. Too bad my mouth didn't get the memo.

"So…sitting in a tower stamping things all day. How's that working out for you?"

I cringed as the words rang around the room. I actually couldn't remember the last time I had made one of my trademark dumbass comments. It even got the Hokage to blink, and I swear he was fighting back a smile at that.

A moment later though, "Which village sent you?" So much for the subtle approach. I thought that he would ease into the blunt questioning, but he was probably trying to catch me off guard again. Too bad I knew how such interrogations usually went.

I smirked, "Come now, jii-chan, I'm sure you went through my possessions and found my headband. Why are you wasting your time with questions you already know the answer to?"

He frowned, "Headbands can be stolen off corpses" he said dismissively, leaning forward. "Who sent you? How did you appear in my office?" His eyes, already steely were now narrowed. His voice had gone utterly cold. This was the Sandaime Hokage at his most focused, the man who had won two wars and led his village to previously unheard levels of prosperity, the flipside of the kindly old grandfather, 'The Professor.'

"Do we have to do this now? Can't we go get ramen instead?" my mouth whined. What was wrong with me!? Was I trying to piss him off? Why was I acting so giddy? ...in fact, why was I so giddy? After a few seconds consideration the answer came to me. I was back in time. I had paid a terrible price; a price I would rather have not paid, and I was not sure if my soul had survived intact, but I was back in time.

I had a second chance.

I could keep my precious people from dying. I could stop the madness before it began. A pure feeling of hope suddenly filled me in a burst of adrenaline and I could only laugh in joy and relief. But only a chuckle or two managed to escape me before pain filled coughs interrupted what would surely have been an epic cackle-fest. On the other hand, laughing insanely in front of your interrogator might not be best idea.

"You know what I just realized, ji-chan?" I asked as I strained my left arm against its cast, slightly basking in the pain that it brought. "I'm in the Konoha hospital. Not the ANBU interrogation facility." The bandages wrapping my left arm started turning red. "I guess my resemblance to my old man were enough to raise questions. Questions you no doubt want answers to." I reached over with my sole functional limb, my right arm, and touched my index finger to the blood-soaked bandage. "Personally, I think that my whisker marks throw it off, not to mention that I have my mother's facial features; but the idiotic villagers only saw my prisoner when they looked at me. I would love to see their faces the day they realized the truth." My grin widened at his look of shock, and I started to draw a seal on the framework of the bed using my blood. "As to the question of who I am," the seal I had just drawn used the life force in the blood to power itself and override the seal drawn on the bed, "I am exactly who I appear to be." A spinning orb made of the purest blue chakra appeared in my hand, and the Sandaime Hokage's jaw fell hilariously open.

A perfect expression to highlight a perfectly executed prank.

It took me a few weeks, but by now the Hokage was convinced that I was who I claimed to be. Mostly convinced, anyway; I think he was still struggling to wrap his head around the whole time travel business. That and the only thing I had told him was that I had died and woke up back in this time. Technically it was true, but what was I going to do, tell him that the freaking Shinigami violated the universe for shits and giggles?

I had ample opportunity to convince the old man about the veracity of my identity; being stuck in a hospital bed with busted limbs ensured that. I had not told him much beyond vague hints, but he had realized that there was no way to have a secure debriefing in a public hospital room. It had been about six weeks since I had regained consciousness, the last four of which I had spent undergoing the peculiar hell known as physical therapy. In my entire life I had barely spent any time convalescing, and now I was being made to pay for it in spades. They made me walk on those stupid parallel bars, made me undergo strength and conditioning exercises and other frustrating crap, all without the use of chakra. They had a point, to be fair, they tried to make sure your muscles and ligaments were in full working condition before they were supplemented with chakra. Every day was twice as frustrating for me compared to other ninjas, knowing that I had usually had a demonic partner who would usually speed up my healing. He had been my partner since within an hour of my birth, and I felt his loss very acutely. Kind of like missing a big, furry, grumpy pet, but you missed him all the same because he was yours to miss.

Kurama would have tried to eviscerate me for thinking that, and that made me miss him even more.

Today, however, was undoubtedly a good day. Today was the day that I was released from prison…err, the hospital. Today was a day of freedom. Today was the day I officially became a Konoha shinobi again. Today was the day I walked through the familiar streets of Konoha and the Hokage Tower again. And today was also the day an old man decided to prank me.

I gaped at the scroll in my hand, then at the Hokage (who wasn't even trying to hide a smirk) back at the scroll and back at the old man as I finally found my voice. "Have you finally gone senile ji-chan!?" I detected a note of hysteria in my voice, but all things considered, it was probably justified.

The Hokage merely let out a chuckle. "If it helps, you can consider it an order."

My eyes widened even more. "So let me get this straight," I said slowly, deliberately, "I get thrown back through the ravages of time, I spend 3 months recovering, the last month of which was the cruel and unusual torture known as physical rehab, and when I get finally the sign off, you want me," I took a deep breath "to run a month of D-ranks!?" the last part was said in a significantly higher pitch, one appropriate to dealing with crazy people.

This time he actually laughed. Laughed! I sighed, rubbing my forehead in anticipation of the upcoming migraine. "Ah, the faces never cease to amaze me." He took a puff on his pipe and leaned back on his chair, eyes twinkling with mirth. "It's part of standard procedure. All shinobi who suffer debilitating injuries are given D-ranks as a way of easing them back into active duty. Not only does this allow the shinobi to get back into fighting shape, it also lets the shinobi get back in touch with the everyday problems of the village. It serves to remind them what they are fighting for."

That actually made a lot of sense. So much so that I actually stopped arguing about doing glorified menial labor. Instead, I just looked out the window over the village and the Hokage Monument, it was such a comfort; it had been burned away using the black flames of Amaterasu by Sasuke.

A few minutes later, I looked back at the Hokage to find him idly twirling a kunai between his fingers. A very distinctive and familiar kunai.

"I was wondering where that went" I said as I eyed it. He smiled as he saw that I had his full attention, and with a quick flick he got ready to throw it, but right before he could…

FLASH!

To his view, I probably never left my seat. The only difference was that now I was the one idly twirling the Hiraishin kunai by its ring. I also had a grin from ear to ear; I could feel it stretching my face to its limits. By the Log it felt good to smile again.

Sarutobi, too, looked impressed. "Splendid!" he said, right before a mischievous smile spread out on his face. "With that, you could complete all your D-ranks in a flash" he finished with a smirk.

My grin disappeared faster than the Hiraishin itself. In a huff, I put the damn kunai back in my pouch before crossing my arms and staring out the window again; his chuckling was not helping matters any.

A few moments of silence later I looked back to once again find him studying me. Once more I resisted the urge to fidget and gave a small sigh. I knew what was coming, and while I would rather not have this discussion at all, it had to be done.

He puffed out a small cloud of smoke, "I'm sure you would agree with me that if you met with someone who claimed to be from the future you would be curious about your own fate. From your hints, I find myself hesitant of asking the question; although at my age, my death is probably not the shock you imagine it to be for me. However, I find myself more curious over another topic," he leaned forward and put his elbows on the table while clasping his hands together, "What happened to your prisoner? My medical staff initially found traces of his chakra in your system, but not his presence."

I frowned at that. Kurama and I were partners, and his loss was one I felt very keenly. At the same time though, he was not going to like the answer. "He was ripped away from my body a short time before… well, before my death, I suppose." I paused here, not certain how to bring up the topic of his once prized student before he turned into a genocidal lunatic. Screw it, I thought. I took a deep breath, and charged ahead. "By Orochimaru."

I could not have hit him harder if I was trying to hurt him. He put aside his pipe, lowered his head and allowed a weary expression to cross his face. His eyes flickered with a multitude of emotions too quickly for me to identify, but the look of regret on his face was clear enough. After a few minutes of introspection, he finally looked up and locked his gaze on mine. "How did the experience not kill you? I'm given to understand that separating the Biju from its host usually kills the jinchūriki."

I nodded my head at the unspoken agreement to drop the Orochimaru angle until a more suitable time. "Well, there are two factors; firstly, I am an Uzumaki by birth. Even my mum didn't die immediately when the Kyūbi was extracted from her, and she had just given birth! Secondly, I was in Sage Mode, so that acted as a buffer against the damage received by my chakra coils. Make no mistake though, I lost a significant amount of my life force, but given the fabled Uzumaki longevity I doubt I would have to worry."

He made a sound of agreement. "Ah yes, Kushina-chan was always spirited. It stands to reason that the two of you inherited that from her."

My world came to an abrupt, screeching halt. And considering that I actually saw the world come to a complete stop, that was saying something. I made a few strangled sounds before my voice came back to full coherence. "Both of us!? I have a sibling!? WHO!?"

The wizened old coot just gave me an infuriatingly calm smile as he lengthily puffed on his pipe. When he was quite sure he had built up enough suspense, he said nonchalantly, "Why, I mean you and Naruto of course."

I blinked. I blinked again. I blinked a third time and then narrowed my eyes at the Hokage. "Explain."

"I simply meant that both you and young Naruto are quite boisterous. Not surprising, considering you both are technically the same person, but you have been forged in the fires of life's trials."

I narrowed my eyes in confusion. "What do you mean me and young Naruto? How can there be two of us?" Upon seeing his questioningly raised eyebrow I elaborated further, "How do I put this…You know the Edo Tensei technique?" His face took on a dark look, but he nodded. "Well, then you understand that for it to work, a soul is needed. Every individual has a unique soul. The fact that you're telling me that a younger version of me exists…" I trailed off, lost in thought. This was undoubtedly the Shinigami's doing, but the ramifications of this escaped me at the moment. My unique form of existential crises bore further investigation at the very least.

The Sandaime Hokage, too, had a grave expression as he contemplated this unexpected development. But then he shrugged, "No doubt it has something to do with why you came back in time." He leaned back as I nodded my agreement, and his eyes took on a sudden twinkle. "If you prefer, instead of doing the D-ranks, you could return to the academy. I'm sure Iruka would be… pleased, to have two of you in his class."

I was torn between shuddering and chuckling in amusement. It would be awesome to have a partner in crime to pull off pranks, and just imagining Iruka-sensei's reactions to double trouble was hilarious; but I'm pretty sure sitting in with a bunch of 10 year olds would not do much for my development as a shinobi. "No thanks, old man. I'll take grocery shopping and dog-walking any day."

He smiled. "It's probably for the best. We wouldn't want you picking fights with other kids your age."

"Hey!"

He was still smiling, but it was slowly becoming more forced. He was clearly disturbed by the revelations about Orochimaru, and I wasn't being very forthcoming with other answers either. After some consideration, he finally spoke, "Is there anything in the immediate future that I should know about?"

I shook my head in relief, inordinately happy that we wouldn't be having a potentially awkward conversation just yet. "Nothing major involving Konoha until two years from now, the next time we host the Chūnin exams. We can start laying the groundwork for a few other moves until then."

He nodded with a troubled look on his face. "Very well. Continue your recuperation, and report to me in a few days. But before you leave," he handed me a page with a stamped ninja registration ID and a filled in name. I took one look at the name and chuckled, "Nanashi (no-name)? Seriously? Sensei of the mighty author to the bestselling Icha-Icha series and you couldn't come up with a better name?" he snorted, whether in amusement or annoyance I couldn't tell. I read a bit further, "Working in the capital for the last decade? Don't the Twelve Shinobi Guardians do that?"

"Your job was to hide and monitor their activities; guarding the guards, so to speak. I've mentioned that it was you who first uncovered the planned revolt by Kazuma a few years ago." He took on a satisfied puff. "It should pass a cursory examination. Fill in the rest of the details and hand me the completed report. I will make sure that they get filed appropriately, giving you an adequate cover story. As for your resemblance to your late father, use this." He then tossed me a piece of cloth.

I caught it and frowned, not recognizing it initially. It had a weird shape, almost like… I grinned. This would be perfect. The resemblance to my first Jōnin sensei would just be the icing on the cake needed. "Don't be surprised if I turn up late and said I got lost on the road of life." I smiled as I tied on the facemask.

He chuckled, "Off with you. Get back in fighting shape as soon as possible. We'll have our discussion then."

I nodded, and bowed in farewell. "Hokage-sama."

"Nanashi." He returned the farewell. The name felt weird, like a piece of clothing that didn't quite fit right. I would get used to it, I supposed as I left the office.

Author's Note: Thank you to everyone who reviewed and added this story to their favorite/follow list. Please continue to do so, and spread the word! The more I get, the more motivated I am to continue writing. If you have any complaints, don't hesitate to get in touch. I know this was a bit of a filler chapter, but we will dive right into the main story from the next chapter onward.