Chapter 15

The rose is a rose,
And was always a rose.
But the theory now goes
That the apple's a rose,
And the pear is, and so's
The plum, I suppose.
The dear only knows
What will next prove a rose.
You, of course, are a rose –
But were always a rose.

- Robert Frost [The Rose Family]

Severus had insisted that they waste no time in getting started with her lessons. That was how Rose found herself back in Severus Snape's all too familiar offices on the Saturday afternoon the day after the Halloween party. It felt strange to be back in the castle after graduating, and it felt stranger still to be in a situation where she'd be learning one on one with Snape. He was standing in front of her now, his hands clasped behind his back while he paced back and forth, obviously deep in thought. Rose sat casually in a chair in front of his desk trying not to fidget too much with the sleeve of her robe.

"Until now, you have learned only the most rudimentary aspects of occlumency: the defense of the mind from external influence," he began, his dark eyes finding hers with a sudden intensity. "What I will be teaching you in these lessons is how to shield only certain memories and emotions; to create a false appearance of openness for one who seeks to learn your secrets."

"You think the Dark Lord wants to meet me," Rose asked in response. It wasn't a great leap in deductive reasoning. Dumbledore had hinted at the possibility in June, and Rose could think of no other reason why she would need to appear open to another's mental probing whilst maintaining secrets of her own.

"The Headmaster considers it likely," Severus said coolly. Rose could feel cold sweat breaking out across her body. "Pettigrew's contact with your mother-in-law supports this theory."

"Is occlumency really what I should be learning then? Can't… can't the Headmaster offer me some form of protection," Rose asked weakly, her heart beating hard against her ribcage.

"If you want to remain a prisoner here at Hogwarts," Severus drawled sarcastically. "But even then, your safety would not be absolute. Professor Dumbledore thinks it much safer if the Dark Lord believes you are truly the empty-headed heiress who above all seeks to please her pureblood parents and forget that she ever once had the last name of Potter. I doubt such a pretense will be difficult for you."

Rose was feeling too sick to her stomach to feel too angry about his insult. She took a slow breath, trying to steady her nerves. Severus observed her with his usual impassive gaze while she brought her emotions back under her control. To say that she was terrified would be an understatement, but she knew that fear was not going to help her now. Severus Snape was going to help her. Severus, her own wits, and complete self-control.

"What do I have to do," she asked evenly and saw the barest flicker of approval in his gaze.

They spent the next several hours with him coaching her in constructing what amounted to a false bottom in her mind. Within the constructed space, she could place memories she didn't want others to have access to. It was not as foolproof a method as placing memories into a pensieve, but also didn't require access to such a powerful magical object. Severus warned her that a legilimens could still force their way through the false bottom if they realized that it was there. Over the next few weeks, she'd be learning how to maintain this space in her mind until it became second nature to her, how to place memories there, and how to camouflage its existence.

By the end of the lesson, Rose's head was pounding, and her mind felt hazy. She clutched her forehead and closed her eyes against the lamplight of the dungeons. When she opened them again, Severus was looking at her impatiently. He crossed his arms over his chest and stared at her in silence for a long moment. Rose could tell that he had become even more serious than usual and waited patiently for whatever he was going to say.

"I am taking a risk in teaching you these methods, Roselin," he said finally. "Your effort and success in learning these techniques… or lack thereof may very well impact my safety as well as yours."

"I understand," she said seriously. If the Dark Lord learned what Severus was teaching her, she'd be handing him ammunition to use against Snape too.

"It is paramount that you make the discipline of your mind the highest priority. While the Dark Lord remains in a weakened state, he will not be able to wield the full might of his mind against you. Let this be only a small comfort—we do not know when or by what means he may return to power," he said. "Hiding memories is much easier than hiding deceit. As such, if you are brought before him, you must try as much as possible not to lie in his presence."

Rose nodded again, swallowing hard.

"In addition, given our… history," Severus continued. "We have to be sure that our memories agree. I think that the easiest way to do this would be for neither of us to conceal what happened during your sixth year."

Rose's face whitened at this.

"Many who pursue occlumency make the mistake of trying to conceal things that embarrass them or that others might find inappropriate. It is the first sign that a person is hiding something…" Severus trailed off, but Rose could easily finish his thought. If the Dark Lord learned of something as worth concealing as their illicit relationship, then he would be far less likely to suspect that they were hiding other memories.

"Alright," she agreed, feeling her cheeks tinge pink at the idea of anyone else having access to memories of her time with Severus. "What about these lessons? Other people will know I'm coming to Hogwarts, I can't just conceal them."

"I think it best that we say you are taking private lessons from me in order to complete your potions N.E.W.T. You will, of course, have to actually take the test for it to be believable," he answered. Rose's nose wrinkled at the idea of taking another exam after thinking she was done with them forever but nodded in understanding. It wasn't completely out of the ordinary for wizards and witches to complete N.E.W.T.s later in life, and she could easily attribute it to wanting to further her own research goals at the clinic.

"Anything else," she asked.

"That will be enough for today," he said dismissively. "Be sure to empty your mind every night before you sleep and focus on clearing and holding the space we created today."

"I will," she promised, rising from her chair. She felt a bit shaky and drained. Severus was watching her closely while she stood up as if he thought she might faint. Despite everything, she felt touched by his concern. The way his dark eyes softened when he looked at her was still enough to make her breath catch in her throat.

"You should stay for the feast," he said, and Rose raised her eyebrows at him. "You don't look well enough to apparate. Eat something, regain your strength. No one would find it strange—they are drawing the names of the champions tonight. Naturally you'd want to watch while you're here."

Rose couldn't help the small smile that crossed her face, both at his concern and at how irritated he looked because of it.

"I don't really want to sit at the Slytherin table right now," she answered, thinking of how rowdy the group of students would be.

"You can sit with me," he said, and then, at her look of surprise, hurried to continue. "They will already be adding chairs for Bagman, Crouch, and the other headmasters. One more chair would not look amiss."

Hesitantly, Rose nodded. She really wasn't feeling well, and food sounded too good to resist. With a mental stomp on the butterflies in her stomach, Rose followed Severus up to the Great Hall. They ran into Ludo Bagman and Barty Crouch at the entrance hall which wound up being fortunate. Ludo exuberantly insisted that she stay to see the champions drawn and offered her his arm. Grateful for the excuse to lean on someone, Rose took it and let him lead her up to the staff table. She winked at Draco on the way past the Slytherin table; he was looking at her in astonished disbelief. Filch was not pleased when he was told to add another chair for her, and Rose, who could have easily conjured her own seat, enjoyed watching him bring one over for her. Ludo graciously pulled out the chair for her and she gave him a winning smile as she sat down.

"Thank you so much for inviting me to stay, Mr. Bagman," Rose said sweetly. She heard a snort of derision from her right side, and she surreptitiously kicked Severus under the table.

"Not at all, my dear," he answered in his normal jovial manner. "The more the merrier."

Rose was delighted to see the pinched, sour look on Severus' face when she turned his direction to fill her plate with some roasted potatoes. She gave him a smug smirk which he returned with an irritated glare before she glanced out across the hall. It was strange to see it from this angle. There had been a few months where she'd imagined what it might be like to be a Hogwarts professor, and she had to admit that it did feel nice to be sitting behind the staff table. She felt powerful and important.

The whole dinner she managed not to look at the Gryffindor table to the far left. By the time the meal was over, Rose was glad she'd stayed. Her mind was feeling much clearer and her headache was gone. The mood of excitement and anticipation that hung over the crowd of students was also infectious, and Rose was looking forward to seeing who the Hogwarts champion would be.

Always one for the dramatics, Dumbledore stepped forward and extinguished all the lights except the flames that came out of the goblet of fire. Rose watched excitedly as the goblet's blue flames flared a bright reddish pink and a slip of parchment erupted from its depths. She applauded along with everyone else in the hall as the names of Viktor Krum, Fleur Delacour, and Cedric Diggory were announced and the three filed by the staff table and into the next chamber.

"Excellent!" Dumbledore called to the hall. "Well, we now have our three champions. I'm sure I can count on all of you to give your champions every ounce of support you can muster. By cheering your champion on you will contribute in a very real—"

But Dumbledore's speech was cut off as the goblet suddenly flared up again and spat a fourth piece of parchment into the air. Rose felt a sudden uneasiness fill her stomach at the shocked silence in the hall and stared while Professor Dumbledore read the name written on it.

"Harry Potter," he said in a voice that rang across the still silent hall. Rose's eyes flickered to where Harry sat at the Gryffindor table, staring at Dumbledore in utter shock. It was evident from the look on his face that he had no idea how his name had gotten into the goblet. She stared along with everyone else as Harry stood up and walked towards Dumbledore.

"That's, that's impossible," Ludo Bagman blustered quietly on her left. "There was an age line, he can't be a champion."

Only when Severus flexed his hand did Rose realize that she had grabbed it where it lay on the table and was gripping it so hard that her nails were digging deep into his skin. She quickly released it and balled her hands into fists. When Harry walked past the staff table, their eyes met, and she tried to give him a reassuring look—she wasn't sure she managed it. As soon as he disappeared into the next room, the hall erupted in a buzz of excited and scandalized whispers.

"Quiet down, quiet down," Dumbledore called sternly. He quickly instructed professors Sprout and Flitwick to get the students back to their dormitories and he, Bagman, Crouch, Snape, and McGonagall all made their way quickly into the room with the champions. Rose sat frozen at the staff table for several long minutes, her mind whirling. It was only the loud thunking of Mad-Eye Moody limping past her that jolted her out of her reverie. She glanced up at him, shivering at his deformed face and the calculating look he was giving her before he too disappeared into the next room. She stood up and began pacing behind the staff table while the rest of the hall emptied.

Rose didn't have to wait too long for people to begin emerging from the back room. First Crouch, then Madame Maxime and the Delacour girl walked by followed closely by Igor Karkaroff and Viktor Krum. Karkaroff glanced over at her curiously—they had met at previous parties at the manor—but seemed in too much of a hurry to want to stop and learn why she was still there. Finally, Cedric and Harry walked out of the room.

"So, we're playing against each other again," Cedric was saying.

"I suppose," Harry agreed, looking lost in thought.

"So, tell me, how did you get your name in," he asked curiously.

"I didn't," Harry said, startled out of his thoughts. He stopped in his tracks and looked up at Cedric. "I didn't put it in, I was telling the truth."

"Ah, okay," Cedric said skeptically, continuing out of the hall. Harry looked around helplessly as if searching for someone to believe him and his eyes landed on Rose.

"I didn't put my name in," he said instantly while she walked over to him. His green eyes were large and confused.

"I believe you," Rose assured him to his look of immense relief.

"I have to compete, that's what Mr. Crouch said," he told her.

"Everything will be alright, you'll be brilliant."

"Moody thinks… he reckons someone might have put my name in to try and get me killed," Harry continued, and Rose tried to swallow but her throat was dry.

"No one's going to let that happen," she said firmly. Harry glanced around the hall again, obviously not very reassured by her words. She didn't blame him; they'd felt hollow to her ears too.

"He's coming back," Harry said quietly.

"What? Who?"

"Sirius," Harry whispered, and Rose tensed up. "I told him weeks ago that my scar was hurting. He thinks something bad is going to happen."

Rose remained silent at this revelation. Given the recent events, she thought it likely that Sirius was right. The pair looked up when the door opened again, and Snape walked into the hall.

"Get to bed, Potter, before I start taking point from Gryffindor," he sneered. Harry glared at him before turning on his heel and walking towards the stairwell. Rose gave Severus an irritated look but didn't go so far as to start a fight.

"Who do you think put his name in," she asked when he came to stand next to her. Severus looked down at her with impassive eyes while he considered her question.

"I don't know," he admitted at last and then added something Rose didn't need his help to figure out. "But whoever it is, they didn't do it for Potter's health."