Chapter 21

A fool I was to sleep at noon,
And wake when night is chilly
Beneath the comfortless cold moon;
A fool to pluck my rose too soon,
A fool to snap my lily.

- Christina Rossetti [A Daughter of Eve]

"I can see why he desires you. You look just like your filthy mudblood mother. He begged me to spare her, but the foolish woman would not stand aside."

Rose felt as if Voldemort had physically hit her, and it must have shown on her face because he laughed. For years, her gut reaction upon being compared to Lily Evans was one of disgust and anger and that instinct served her well in this moment. Voldemort could sense genuine resentment and frustration from her at his words rather than any sentimentality.

"Well, perhaps Lucius has succeeded at turning a Potter into a Malfoy," he mused, and Rose bowed low again at this statement, not trusting herself to speak—barely trusting herself to breathe.

"My lord," Pettigrew's squeaky voice interjected timidly. "We have been here nearly half an hour, you instructed me to—"

"Yes… yes, Wormtail. It will not do for us to linger," the Dark Lord said quietly. Rose could feel his eyes still boring into the top of her head, but she did not dare look up.

"What are your instructions, my lord," Margot said quietly from behind her.

"We will continue as originally planned," he replied. "Look at me, Potter."

Rose immediately straightened her back and stared into his crimson reptilian eyes.

"M-my lord," she stammered out apprehensively.

"We will see where your allegiance truly lies. For now, you will keep your silence… or face my displeasure," he commanded her.

"Y-yes, my lord," she said meekly, her body trembling all over.

"We will meet again," he told her. "Now, leave us."

Rose felt Margot's hand on her shoulder in an iron grip, and the pair retreated to the hedges. Rose felt numb as they walked, her heart still refusing to return to its normal pace. Even though she'd expected this meeting would take place, she'd still been caught off-guard. She knew she'd been lucky, had the Dark Lord's true purpose been to interrogate her, she was in a very compromised state of mind to resist him. Instead, it had seemed like he'd wanted to test something. Just before they exited the maze, Margot Dolohov rounded on her, her ashen eyes narrowed calculatingly.

"The lover at Hogwarts whom Skeeter wrote about," she said more than asked. "It was Severus Snape."

Rose stared impassively at her mother-in-law for a moment before answering.

"Yes. It was," she replied, watching the woman's lip curl back in distaste. "And it's over. You have nothing to fear."

"Nothing to fear," she scoffed. "What of these private lessons you're taking with him?"

"I'm studying to complete my potion's N.E.W.T.," Rose said as sincerely as she could manage. "I swear to you, there is nothing going on between us."

"If I find out anything to the contrary you will both regret it," Margot threatened. "I can only imagine how Lucius would react to such a relationship."

Rose's face paled at the thought of her father learning that she and Severus had once been lovers. At one time in her life she'd believed that, given time, Lucius might be supportive of such a relationship—especially when she'd had no other suitors to speak of. But now that she was married, her father would certainly react to it as the complete betrayal of his trust that it had been.

"You won't have any reason to worry," Rose replied. Margot surveyed her sternly before turning and walking into the manor.

Rose followed her at a slower pace, trying to digest everything that had just happened. She was still feeling sick and panicky, but at least she could breathe. Despite the Dark Lord's command for silence, Rose felt an overwhelming urge to tell someone—anyone—what she had just gone through, and she knew there was only one person whom it would be safe to confide in.

Several hours later, Rose paced across the floor of an upper room in the Hog's Head. It was a testament to how terrifying the night's events had been that she hardly noticed how dusty and dingy the room was. She froze when she heard footsteps on the stairs and let out a long shaky breath when Severus Snape walked into the room and carefully closed the door behind him, casting a silencing spell before turning to her. Even though it was in the early hours of the morning, there was no trace of sleepiness in his eyes.

"S—severus," Rose managed to stammer out before, much to her embarrassment, she began to cry. She'd been afraid that he wouldn't get her owl or that he wouldn't come so late at night. The stress of coming face to face with the most feared wizard in the world was finally catching up to her. Pressing fingers to her lips, she looked away from him, trying to get her breathing back under control. Severus watched her for a moment before walking forward and gripping her arms in his hands, turning her to face him.

"Calm yourself, Roselin," he said impatiently—she should have known better than to expect sympathy from him. The irritation at his less than compassionate response was surprisingly helpful in getting her emotions back under control. She took several deep breaths, steadying herself, and looked up into his stern gaze.

"I've seen him—the Dark Lord," she began, and though his eyes narrowed, he didn't look surprised to hear this.

"Tell me everything," he instructed, and she did. Through a combination of her own storytelling and legilimency, Rose relayed the details of her encounter. She felt his fingers tighten on her arms at her description of the Dark Lord's appearance.

"I don't understand why he wanted to meet me to begin with," Rose said when she'd finished. "Margot and Pettigrew both seemed to think he might be able to use me in some way. He said my mother's protection no longer flows in my veins… I don't understand."

A pained expression crossed Snape's face, and he released his grip on her arms, turning from her.

"Has Dumbledore never spoken to you about this," he asked, his voice laced with irritation.

"Obviously not," Rose responded just as testily. And then in a more placating tone, "Please Severus, I'm so sick of being left in the dark."

Severus turned back to her, his face an emotionless mask.

"By protecting Potter from the Dark Lord, Lily conferred a magical protection that makes him unable to harm the boy. Since the Dark Lord did not seek to kill you that night, we were never sure if this protection extended to you—obviously it does not or he would have been unable to touch you. You are very fortunate Roselin. Had you still been under that protection, it seems they'd have had some use for you. It is much better that you remain useless and uninteresting to the Dark Lord," he concluded.

Rose digested this silently. In another time and place, being described as useless and uninteresting might have stung, but after the meeting she'd just had, she too desired nothing more than to be overlooked by those murderous snakelike eyes. She realized that it also explained why the Dark Lord had sought out Margot over her own parents. Had the Dark Lord feared that their parental instincts might conflict with their willingness to serve him if she'd proven useful? Margot Dolohov certainly had no such scruples.

"You were right," she said quietly. "As soon as he learned about us, he stopped searching my mind…. Severus, he called you his faithless servant. He thinks you're a traitor…."

His dark eyes met hers, uncertainty hanging in the air between them. Before this year, Rose had never thought much about where Snape's loyalty lay. It had not mattered to her whether he was a servant of the Dark Lord or a servant of Dumbledore because it had no real-life consequences while the Dark Lord had no power. In this moment, Rose found that she still didn't care. For her, it wasn't about some abstract struggle between good and evil; she had people on both sides of this impending war. She just wanted herself and those she loved to be safe—and as much as she thought she'd moved past him, Rose could not deny that Severus was still one of those people.

"Be careful," she said, unwilling to ask the question they both knew she was wondering. She didn't want to know the answer. She was relying on the ambiguity of his loyalty to protect her should the Dark Lord learn that she had sought Severus out and told him about the meeting. Ideally, of course, the Dark Lord would never know she'd been here.

Looking at the ground, Rose wrapped her arms around herself, rubbing her hands up and down her arms to try to restore some feeling and warmth into her body. Severus watched her silently, her face creased in worry and her eyes still wide with fear. How could she stand there in such a precarious position herself and have the gall to tell him to be careful?

"Come here," he said with a sigh, and Rose looked at him in surprise when he opened his arms to her. She bit her lip, hesitating, before stepping forward and allowing him to enfold her into his embrace. She buried her face in his chest, wrapping her arms tight around him. Severus stroked her back while he held her, feeling her body shake like a leaf against his own. Closing his eyes, he set his chin on her head and tried to keep his mind carefully blank—it would not do to let his mind wander to the softness of her body or the smell of her hair or to memories of days past.

"Margot knows about us," she said into his chest.

"I assumed as much," he replied evenly. Margot Dolohov was certainly an irritating complication. The woman was vicious and mercurial in temperament, but she did not scare Severus.

"What's going to happen, what is he planning," Rose asked. She didn't expect an answer, and he didn't give her one—he merely continued to hold her, his silent presence an undeniable comfort.

"Next lesson I will start teaching you how to disguise your emotions," he said after a long silence. "I do not think he will seek out a meeting with you again in the near future—there's too much risk involved. We have time to prepare."

Rose let out a long shaky breath at this, nodding in response. Severus moved his hand up to stroke her hair, and she stiffened. Feeling this, he dropped his hand and released her from his embrace.

"I—I'm sorry," she said immediately, regretting the reaction to his offer of comfort. His dark eyes were once again closed off and distant. They were both perfectly aware of what a sore subject her hair was. It was the part of her that most resembled Lily Evans, and it had taken Rose too long to realize that it was her he was thinking of when he touched it. Though this knowledge still stung, she knew he'd meant nothing by it tonight.

"I guess I can't help being a bitch," she joked, giving him a small grin. Severus' eyes traveled up to the ceiling, an exasperated look crossing his face that only made her smile widen.

"Must you seek to disrupt any serious situation with immaturity," he drawled.

"Until it stops working… yes," she replied, beginning to feel a bit more like herself. He frowned at her.

"…I should head back to the castle," he said at length, and Rose found her mood instantly sobered.

"I need to be getting home too," she replied, walking with him to the door. She couldn't help the panic that welled up in her stomach when he reached out for the handle. She was overwhelmed with a deep gratitude for his willingness to comfort her, prepare her, and protect her.

"Severus," she said, and he paused, turning to look at her curiously. "Thank you. Thank you for teaching me—for keeping me safe."

His onyx eyes met her hazel ones with a reassuring steadiness that made her heart speed up in her chest.

"Always," he answered, before opening the door and sweeping from the room.