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FICTION

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Chapter 13: Spearing the Issue

"So, you dread going out with a girl?" Cu asked as I was trying to finish my workload, the house having been awfully too quiet for it to be a normal phenomenon. This question confirmed, together with Elizabeth's frustrated look, that the two Servants were clearly interested by the news. "Mah, I don't see the issue, Master."

"That's because you are a mutt, Setanta!" The pinkette half-screeched much to the Irish boy's chagrin. "Mastah is rightfully worried that this woman could do something horrible during that occasion. She is far from sane."

"Like you?" The blue-haired boy cheekily threw back.

The ensuing loud smack hitting the rear of Cu's head was legitimate, cue the annoyed whimper at the hit but no retaliation about it beyond an upset look which was promptly ignored by the dragon girl.

"Still, Mastah- Wouldn't it be better to just skip that meeting?" Elizabeth asked with a worried tone. "I mean, I get it that you promised but-"

"I have to do it. Or she would act bolder at work," I interjected. "I get your point, Eli, but if I don't do it, then it would end worse for me."

"I still don't get it," Cu lamented, and I sighed.

"Medb."

The Queen of Connaught, the one that was responsible for a good part of Cu's own errands and adventures after his training under Scathach. She was known as the mastermind behind pretty much half the Ulster Cycle and the one that was also known as the 'cheese-hating Irish brat' for a few funny reasons.

He paused, then frowned at me. "You mean she is like her."

"I would say mostly in her reaction to 'defiance'. For the rest she is less ambitious and more sadistic."

Realization finally struck the blissfully perplexed Setanta as the young man got a proper comparison to what I was facing.

"Oh... so you are walking through a path of darkness."

I sighed. "And you should be glad your pestering isn't ending with you strolling in a 'path of darkness' you are familiar with."

Cu tensed up fiercely at that comment. "D-Don't joke about it, Master."

"Fufufufu~, it's clear you're whipped when it comes to your teacher, Setanta~," Elizabeth remarked, drawing a groan from the Irish 'Hound'.

"You should meet her then. I bet two witches would have many things in common."

"I'm not a witch," Eli huffed in annoyance. "I'm an Idol, you mutt."

Humming, I glanced at the female Servant as she said that. "Actually, about it, I think I heard you say you made a 'breakthrough' in that regard?"

"Yep!" She exclaimed in delight. "I found a guide to set things up for webcam interactions. I wanted to take some tests before trying anything for real, but I think I will get it up and running quite soon~!"

"Well, if it's not asking too much, I would like for you to also exercise your singing too before that happens," I requested, getting an upset look out of her.

"What? But why? I'm a good singer."

"And I'm not saying you are not. But you told me already you have to focus to hear us when we speak normally. Draconic ears and all of that," I reasoned, the situation dawning on the girl as she gasped.

"Y-You think that I couldn't handle the volume?"

"How long has it been since you exercised?" I asked back, getting a sheepish look from Elizabeth.

"A-A long time. Well, I suppose I could try this out before busting some eardrums, hehe~."

At least this was going to be solved before it became an issue. For the rest of the day there wasn't much to say or do. Things were calm on that side of things and I saw no reason in creating new issues. With the paperwork done and some papers graded, I was soon looking through anything I had to get ready for myself.

Specifically the right outfit for the occasion. I didn't stick to something too formal or too informal. I picked the simplest tuxedo I had around. It was the only formal thing I had if I have to be honest, but it was fitting with the theme of that night. I changed into the good clothes, got a few looks in the mirror to check how I looked with it and then Elizabeth gave a positive review considering the place we were visiting wasn't a 5-star place.

It was going to be 'great'.

I could just gnaw my teeth together whenever I was thinking that or heard someone make any comments in that regard. I just could tell it would be too easy if it had been just that, so I carefully geared my mind up for any possible issues that could come out of this occasion. Quartz was going to come with me in his reduced form, his role being to analyze the beverages I was drinking and warn me for any unusual substances left in it.

I didn't expect Caren to go super-crazy about it, but I could imagine her just putting some sleeping drug in my drink, getting me all tuckered out and using me as a body pillow to cuddle with. Going beyond that, I knew, would have just broken any chance of getting with me and even pissed Kirei for being so forward about anyone.

A mad man the 'fake' priest was, but he still held some morality when it comes to family from the looks of it. And with all preparations finally wrapped up, it was time for the big show to begin. So I left for the restaurant and prepared my mind one last time for any surprises I might be subjected to. There was a lot to be worried about, and even more to be vigilant off.

Specifically which pattern and approach Caren was going to take during the night. And if she had learned her lesson when it comes to alcohol. Funnily enough, that last one was one of the things I kind of hoped she didn't do 'right' as I knew her drunk self was easier to handle than her sober one. Of course, that was just idle thinking. And Caren wasn't that stupid as far as I knew.

But one can still hope about it.

"You look ravishing," Caren commented bluntly, setting up the undertone of the night right on the spot.

I held back a scoff and I merely blinked at her words. "And you look decent."

She was wearing a dress similar to her 'Hollow Ataraxia' iteration, except it was red, had a skirt, and it somewhat gave off the notes of a formal yet conservative dress. Could it be that Papa Kirei found the notion of his daughter going out with a guy for dinner somewhat of a reason to limit her wardrobe to 'holier' choices? I had so many questions behind that story, but I focused on trying to not get in trouble with Caren while I was at it.

Speaking of the girl, she fidgeted a bit at the comment. "Thank you."

Very reserved, very defensive. I could only frown at this 'sheltered' approach as it meant she had little to no plan on how to handle this. And she was going to improvise things. If there is something that Italian Comedy taught me a lot about through movies and sketches was that improvisation is the key for Italians' ingenuity and cunning in situations like this one.

Caren didn't speak much as we went to our seats. It was pretty far from the middle point of the large room, a move that wasn't lost to me as she didn't want to have anyone look at us in case of some big mistake she ended up making. Once again, very defensive and very worrisome in my eyes. Still, nothing for me to make a scene about, so I held my tongue back as we checked the menu.

I picked red pasta, the tomato sauce just looking well-made by the picture used for it, while Caren settled for some ravioli and veggie broth. We were both going in quite 'restrained' with the option, seemingly going for cheap dishes, but truly picking those out of familiarity. The rest looked way more complex and somewhat 'wacky' in terms of regional appeal. There were a few Sicilian dishes, and even less Latian recipes for Caren to try out.

"So, what exactly drove you to suggest this hang out?"

Hit hard, hit fierce, get her resolve to crack. I know, it sounds vicious, but I preferred to dismantle her reasoning fast and turn this in the last date she could get out of me.

"I felt like it."

A clever response. Not only did it feign disinterest, but dissuaded from being too blunt about the next words I could use against her.

"Then do you find me as a way to kill off some boredom? Is this how you view friends?"

"Obviously no," The girl argued. "I just felt like it was only fitting that after listening to Taiga's positive words about you that I tested them out in a practical and personal manner."

"So this is a test."

"Yes," Caren confirmed. "And I wouldn't be wrong to assume that you see that as a test you aim at me too."

I nodded. "That's correct."

"And what's the point of your test then?" She inquired, trying to gain dominance of the conversation. Fun move, but not enough to dethrone me from this comfy chair.

"If you are able to understand that no means no."

This time Caren took a few more seconds to come up with a reply to that. I guess she didn't expect the verbal hook from me this soon, but it didn't deter the young woman from trying to try and exploit the comment to her own advantage.

"A no can also change if situations change. Like friendships can become full romances."

"Only if there is genuine effort from both sides to give it a try. If one side is unwilling to give the other a chance by the very beginning, then that means there is a reason for this to not even be a possibility to consider."

"Are you saying there's something wrong with me?" She flatly asked and I nodded much to her surprise.

"Yes."

The ensuing silence was fairly unpleasant and ugly. Caren was genuinely angry at this point, but was making an effort to not snap at this just yet. Could it be that, within that rage, there was a degree of understanding on what I was implying with my uncensored tones?

"And what... Do you think is issue?" That was a very general question. Especially with what I could say and also be wrong about when it comes to Caren's own mental issues.

"You are an untreated sociopath with a deep interest in maiming people. Which means you have a preference in hurting those that can be hurt without major repercussions when possible," I reasoned calmly, testing her reaction and seeing her nod from time to time. "Yet you also know what you are doing is wrong, jumping to quick excuses to create a sense of reason and logic within your actions."

"Does that make me crazy?" She argued quietly, way quieter than the usual and... almost begging me to provide her with a single answer.

"You are not," I confirmed without hesitation, leaving the girl dumbstruck for a moment as she reasoned my words.

"W-What? But you said-"

"A crazy woman wouldn't waste time reasoning their actions. To crazy people, what they are doing, no matter how amoral, is right and the others are wrong. You are aware that a situation is wrong despite your interest to have this happen, and you also put an effort to justify yourself if caught."

...

"A-And?"

"And you need therapy. I'm not a doctor, but I can tell you need to have someone that is willing to talk with you in private and provide you with professional help," I answered politely, noticing a flinch from her in that regard. "And before you think of this as a need of you going to some nuthouse- it is actually you deciding that you need a solution to your problem on your own volition. It means talking with someone, not being subjected to any medicine. It's not a medical issue, it's one I bet is tied to some trauma I'm not interested to press on about."

Her eyes glinted with realization at what I was suggesting, but she didn't seem to realize I knew what was really leaving her this screw up. In fact, it's somewhat easy to know what makes this Caren somewhat the same as her other counterparts: her mother's death. Sure, she didn't see her die, but she had lived alone with her grandparents for a long time since Kirei spent years in Fuyuki. Heck, I don't even know how close these two are as father and daughter, but I had reasons to believe that even that relationship was strained at best.

Despite the intense topic, Caren looked... pleased. I don't think she had expected this kind of escalation, but I could see how that talk just freed her from some of her own issues at once. It wasn't the win she wanted out of this date, but it was the win she needed when it came to her life's own dilemmas. Did this solve anything? Not really, but it gave her a foothold to exploit in future occasions and work on herself. As far as I could tell, Caren was never going to become a functional human being, but she could at least work on controlling her instincts to prevent the worst from happening.

With the 'date' over after two quick hours, I actually felt relieved Caren didn't try anything crazy during the dinner. It was a pleasant restaurant alright. They got all ingredients and processes to work those through well-done and the end results were some nostalgic dishes from home. After splitting the bill (which was more of me taking my side since Caren had been tempted to pay for it herself as a reason to put me in her debt), I 'escorted' her back to the church. She dropped in a kiss on the cheek like last time, but this one was briefer. Was she trying to lure me in to ask for more? It was just a childish thought, but I could see Caren just do this to get me interested.

She was soon gone and I was walking back home expecting to find some mid-tier disaster waiting for me to deal with. What I didn't expect was a surprisingly quiet house. Like, too quiet for it to be true. Something was wrong and... Quartz confirmed this just as I started looking around for the two missing Servants.

"An intruder is currently sitting in the living room."

The possible bad guy? I suddenly switched in my masked hero form and slowly advanced towards the living room, expecting to be ambushed any moment as I walked through the hallway and... I paused before the most unusual sight: Cu was stuck in the wall just above the couch, struggling and failing to remove the two sharp Gae Bolgs keeping him fixed at the wall by his shirt and jacket; Eli was sitting by the couch and chatting eagerly with the intruder, exchanging tales and talking trash of poor Setanta; And then the intruder, which was soon glancing in my direction as soon as I walked in the room. Red eyes forced my bravery to a halt as her arrival was nothing more but a sign of many issues within the timeline itself if I didn't handle this interaction just fine.

After all, it was not a normal scene to have Scathach, alive and not a Servant, sitting on my couch and being 'civil' about the entire situation. Her gaze told me all, specifically that I was up for some intense questioning on why I may or may not have yeeted Ultra-Berserker Cu into her turf and forced her to beat the crap out of that behemoth.

Oh yes, things are just going to get crazier.

AN

Regardless of this conversation's outcome, Scathach is here to stay. And it sure will create new ripples in the near future.

REVIEW Q&A!

King0fP0wers: Who said it was going to be just seven-eight? After all, FGO didn't stop at just that number~.

FrozenOzean21: That visit comes a bit earlier than many would expect~.

Gaming Masters of the Wall: It's the way those super-Servants are made. The big bad guy is pretty much gambling with each move since a 'purified' super-Servants means a potential strong foe to handle in the long-term process.

Mikelz0426: Sadly, this isn't the same Scathach. And she can't get Grail's memories since she is not a Servant.