PART ONE: IN VITAM

Chapter XI: Knight of Swords Upright

"How could he do that? He's Head Boy now. He can't cast jinxes whenever the mood strikes him anymore! And here I'd thought he'd grown up, but that tosser is still clarting about like he's a third year. He deserves a right lamping—"

When Lily got angry, her Midlands accent strengthened, and at times, it was difficult to decipher what she said. I copied Dorcas and Mary's expressions of concern, nodding my head here and there, as we stood in the courtyard and listened to Lily rant about whatever stupid thing James had done now.

Eventually, I managed to piece together the story: James had caught some Gryffindor with a dancing jinx this morning. Lily had walked in on the whole common room laughing as the red-faced fifth-year boy danced some sort of rumba to Celestina Warbeck's classic hit You Stole My Cauldron But You Can't Have My Heart. Personally, I thought the whole thing sounded like childish fun, but Lily was livid.

"What about poor Will Spinnet?" asked Lily. Her face was slightly pink and a crease had appeared between her arched brows. "He was embarrassed. And there was James—Head Boy—laughing! Sometimes he drives me so barmy!"

"Will was a little upset," added Mary. "At least, his mates cheered him up quick. He laughed with the rest of the house like nothing happened after that."

"That half-soaked tosser is lucky Will has such good mates," said Lily through gritted teeth. She said something else after, but her words were lost as a heavy wind blasted through the courtyard.

The second Sunday of October brought with it a biting chill, and even though we stood in a patch of sunlight, it wasn't enough to keep the cold away. We were bundled up in our gray sweaters, black robes, and house scarves. Lily had conjured a floating ball of fire to give us some heat and Dorcas had cast some sort of shield charm around us, but somehow the cold winds still managed to find their way in.

"We should go back inside," grumbled Mary. "I've had enough fresh air."

"A bit too fresh," I said after another gust of wind passed through the courtyard and nearly knocked poor Mary off her feet.

Dorcas nodded. "I can't be mad at James proper if my teeth are chattering."

Lily glanced up at the pale blue sky before agreeing with us. Dorcas led the way, and it wasn't until we were safely back in the warm halls of Hogwarts castle that the conversation began again. However, it seemed the change in setting had calmed Lily's mood.

"I thought he was different now," said Lily. Her Midlands accent had faded with her temper. "I thought he'd grown up over the last couple years, but it seems as though he's the same as ever."

"Him and Sirius are still playing the same pranks," agreed Mary as we made our way towards the Great Hall. "And Remus still lets them get away with it."

"Peter doesn't seem to fawn over them as much as he used to, mind," said Dorcas. "Maybe at least one of them has grown up."

As we walked down the corridor, one of the stain-glass windows caught Lily's eye. In panels of blues and greens, the window depicted the image of a witch kneeling at the edge of a pond. I watched as she stared at the glass for a moment. Then, she tore her eyes away and said, "I thought he'd changed, that's all."

"I don't think you were wrong," I said.

I glanced back at the stained-glass window as I remembered James sprawled out on the edge of the lake, watching the sun rise on one of the rare sunny days in Scotland. We mainly talked about Quidditch after our runs (I now knew more about the Montrose Magpies than I ever wanted to), but a few times our conversation had slipped into darker topics. The joy would disappear from James's eyes, and he would suddenly seem much older than me. "We will stop them," he told me once. "They've taken our childhoods from us… We won't let them take anything more."

"What do you mean?" asked Mary. "You think he has changed?"

I shook myself free of the memory and managed a faint smile for my friends. "The younger students shouldn't forget to have fun. Part of being a role model is reminding them that they're still kids. James was probably thinking like that."

Mary frowned, as if she couldn't believe James capable of deep thought.

"You should remember your own words, Marlene," said Dorcas gently.

I gave Dorcas a sharp glance and didn't bother replying.

Lily let out a heavy sigh. Something that might have been regret glimmered in her green eyes. "You're probably right, Marlene. I shouldn't have scolded him like I did. But still, there has to be a better way to remind the younger students to have fun besides jinxing poor Will."

"Well, y—" I began.

Lily stopped dead in her tracks, almost causing me to walk into her. Unfortunately, Mary wasn't so quick and nearly bowled me over. I grabbed onto Lily's shoulder to steady myself. However, my eyes remained fixated on the couple, further down the hall and half-hidden behind a pillar, who were snogging themselves senseless.

Dorcas made a loud coughing noise, causing the couple to jump apart.

The shaggy black hair, pointed nose, and handsome features were all too familiar, and I couldn't help the way my nose scrunched in disgust as I looked over Sirius Black. His Gryffindor tie hung about his shoulders, while the top three buttons of his white shirt had been undone, revealing his pale chest. When he caught me staring, Sirius offered a broad grin.

The girl, her lips slightly swollen and her golden hair falling out of its bun, had the awareness to look embarrassed. She quickly unwound herself from Sirius's arms and started fixing her yellow and black tie. I recognized her from the Hufflepuff common room, but I didn't know her name or year.

"No snogging in the corridors," said Lily darkly. "Ten points from Gryffindor and Hufflepuff each."

"Come on, now, Lily," said Sirius. "We were going to move to a broom cupboard soon."

I couldn't see Lily's face, but by the tension in her shoulders, I figured she wasn't in a forgiving mood. Especially after Sirius had aided in the embarrassment of Will Spinnet.

"I have to meet with my friends," said the Hufflepuff girl in a small voice. She sent one furtive glance at Lily before giving Sirius a quick kiss on the cheek and hurrying away down the corridor.

Mary cast a worried look in my direction. Perhaps she misread the disgust on my face for jealousy, because the concern in her eyes suddenly increased. She took a step closer to me and asked Sirius, dryly, "New girlfriend?"

Sirius nodded followed by a proud smile. "She's a little shy, so don't scare her off."

"As long as you two don't continue break school rules," said Lily.

"Ah, yes, Miss Head Girl. Because you've never snogged a boy in the corridors." Sirius rolled his eyes. "I'd say it was a pleasure seeing you again, but you interrupted a rather nice moment."

My friends watched as Sirius strutted down the corridor, heading in the same direction as his new girlfriend. Probably to see if she still wanted to find that empty broom cupboard.

I barely spared him a glance before my head turned in the opposite direction. Something silver glimmered in the gap between two pillars. For a brief moment, the ghostly image of Helena appeared. She had one hand raised, her index finger pointing away from the Great Hall. An instant later, she vanished.

"What a lout," said Dorcas as soon as Sirius was out of earshot.

"His new girlfriend looks sweet too," said Lily.

"Speaking of people who haven't changed," muttered Mary. "Yet another girlfriend. Does that boy not know how to be alone?"

The image of a man on a wanted poster, dressed in a prison uniform, screaming at the world beyond flashed before my eyes. My disgust for Sirius faded a little, and I felt pity start to creep its way in. However, now wasn't the time to ponder Sirius's fate. I glanced at Lily, who scowled as she watched Sirius disappear around the corner. I had things to do.

With a faint smile, I said, "I think I'm going to pass on studying in the Great Hall today. Sorry."

My friends exchanged glances. Then, Dorcas offered me a smile and said, "You know how it goes. He'll break up with her in a month or two."

I stared at them. At first, I couldn't process what Dorcas was saying. Then, slowly, it dawned on me: Oh, they thought I still fancied Sirius Black.

"He's not worth wasting time over," said Mary.

I opened my mouth to deny, to repeat yet again that I was over Sirius, but I quickly stopped myself. If they were willing to accept my disappearance as moping over Sirius and his new girlfriend, well, all the better for me.

"I'll be aye right," I said. It was a hard thing to make my voice sound as though I was forcing myself to be upbeat, but I think I managed well enough. "I only want some time to myself. I…thought I was over him. I suppose old feelings don't go away just because you want them to."

"You shouldn't be alone," said Mary. "Come study with us. You and Lily can rant about what dobbers Sirius and James are."

Normally, Lily would act upset at her relationship with James being compared to Marlene's obsession with Sirius, but right then, Lily only nodded her head in agreement. "Boys can be such tossers. We're better off without them."

"Thank you." It took effort to keep the strained smile on my face. "I'll join you lot before dinner, I promise. I like to study on my own, you know that."

Eventually, and only after I swore that I'd meet them in the Great Hall later, Marlene's friends let me go.

I made my way to the lavvy on the ground floor. After checking the stalls to ensure no one was present, I cast a searching spell. A warm breeze brushed across the tile floor and past the sinks. I waited, anticipating the telltale buzzing to spread through my limbs to warn me of another human presence. There was nothing.

I'd spent a couple hours last night, pouring through books as I attempted to find the spell both Rosier and Snape had used. At points, I'd been in a panic, thinking it was a Half-Blood Prince spell and I've never learn the incantation. But shortly before midnight, I stumbled across ultinamo in the last chapter of Quintessence: A Quest.

When the spell ended, I surveyed the empty lavvy and then asked aloud, "Are you ready?"

The air shimmered. Helena Ravenclaw appeared in front of me, her gray slippers floating several centimeters off the floor. In her usual, sorrowful voice, she said, "If you are certain this is the wisest course of action."

I hadn't been certain of anything since that night on the rain-soaked road, but I wasn't going to tell Helena that. After casting a cloaking spell, mentamon, over myself, I left the lavvy. Helena vanished once again, but I knew she followed me.

Navigating the corridors of Hogwarts whilst trying to avoid students was harder than I'd expected. The cloaking spell was delicate. It didn't hide me completely but rather caused gazes to overlook me. If I came too close to someone or made too large of movements, then I'd likely be discovered. I paused at the end of each corridor and cast the ultinamo spell. If less than three students lay in the path before me, I proceeded cautiously. When there were more than three students in a corridor, rather than risk coming in range of someone, I turned around and took another route. It was a long, arduous process, but I needed to stay hidden. For the first time, I wished I had James' Invisibility Cloak.

Finally, after a good twenty minutes of dodging in and out of corridors, I made it to the entrance of the dungeons.

My steps faltered at the top of the stairs. Once I went down there, I couldn't turn back.

Everything that could go wrong filled my head—discovery, mistake, injury, Dumbledore, St. Mungo's, Azkaban—and I almost fled back to the lavvy.

But no. Forward was the only route.

Helena and I had planned everything. We had checked if there were any protective spells that might get in our way. I had spent hours wearing the diadem and researching spells to disguise me, to undo locks, to detect hidden enchantments. Throughout the day, Helena had remained invisible as she lurked amongst the cauldrons and ingredients, keeping an eye on Slughorn. She'd waited until he left for his usual Sunday afternoon bottle of wine with Professor Kettleburn before she came to find me. We'd timed everything. We even had back-up plan upon back-up plan if things went wrong. We were prepared. Nothing would go wrong.

After taking a deep breath, I started down the stairs to the dungeons. The air felt colder among the dark bricks. Even though I wanted to pull my robes closer around myself, I didn't dare make such a big movement. Instead, I kept my steps calm and measured as I walked through the empty corridor.

I glanced at the wall of framed photographs outside the main Potions classroom. The faces of Slughorn's favorite students beamed out at me: a witch in purple robes accepting an award, a blond-haired man on a racing broom, a man with moustache laughing as he shook hands with the Minister for Magic. Briefly, I wondered if Slughorn had ever hung a photograph of Tom Riddle on that wall. According to the books, the man had been popular before he turned into a mass murderer and sealed a part of his soul in the diadem. However, I quickly pushed such thoughts away. Now wasn't the time to think about that.

After slipping into the main Potions classroom, I cast a spell to sense any protection charms. There were some on Slughorn's desk and on the knickknacks that hung from the walls. However, no spells prevented me from entering the ingredients cupboard.

Breathing a sigh of relief, I stepped under a stone archway into a side room. Rows upon rows of ingredients greeted me. Glass jars, capped vials, colored pots, wooden bins—all marked with neat, hand-written labels and placed in alphabetical order.

Watercress, crushed…waterpepper, whole… My eyes scanned the labels on each jar. Wattleseed…wild thyme, whole…willow bark, whole…willow bark, paste…

Even though I couldn't see her, I knew Helena lurked outside the ingredients cupboard, keeping an eye out in case Slughorn or an over-eager member of Potions Club entered the classroom.

I was unscrewing the lid of the jar containing willow bark paste when Helena asked, "Do you dislike Sirius Black so much?"

I paused, holding the open jar. Why was she bringing this up? Was it really the time to discuss Sirius Black?

I set the lid down and then, with a flick of my wand, cast scourgify on the jar. The contents vanished in an instant. I began rummaging through my bookbag as I asked, "Does it matter?"

"Marlene thought he was charming," said Helena, almost thoughtfully.

He was charming. They all were charming at first.

"He seems wild to me," continued Helena, apparently not needing an answer from me. "But I suppose there's something alluring about a boy that seems impossible to tame."

Didn't I know that.

I pulled a little wooden box out of my bookbag. I tugged the lid free and then started dumping its contents into the now empty jar labeled "willow bark, paste". The damp, brown substance appeared almost identical to the jar's previous contents. I'd spent a good half-hour in the Room of Requirement last night, furiously mashing ingredients together with a mortar and pestle.

"But I do not think he is a bad sort," said Helena. "If Marlene liked him so much, he must be a decent fellow."

My eyes narrowed at the fondness in Helena's tone. However, I didn't bother to answer. I used a lighter version of scourgify to clean the sides of the jar. Only when the glass was spotless, so that not even the most discerning eye could tell the contents had been swapped out, did I place the jar back on the self.

"You dislike him," said Helena. "Even though you are friends with that Rosier, you dislike Black more."

Beetle eyes, whole…beetle eyes, crushed…beetle wings, whole…beetroots, whole…beetroots, juiced…

"It's not that I like Rosier," I muttered as I pulled yet another jar off the shelf. "It's just that I don't have much choice but get along with him."

"I see." Even though I couldn't see Helena's face, I could hear the doubt and disapproval in her tone.

She said nothing as I pulled yet another wooden box out of my bookbag and began replacing the vanished beetroot juice with a thick, red substance. As I worked, I felt the heavy silence settle around me. She hadn't given up on the topic; she was simply waiting.

I fought back a sigh; it wasn't good to be at odds with Helena. She knew too much. A single word from her could cause my entire existence as Marlene McKinnon to come crashing down. She helped me now, but I wasn't under any delusions that she acted out of loyalty to me. At first, I'd thought she followed me out of academic curiosity, but now, I realized I'd been wrong. She was doing this for the real Marlene.

"Sirius reminds me of someone from my previous life," I said at last. "My ex-boyfriend."

After a long moment, Helena's voice sounded from somewhere to my left. "Your past boyfriend must have been very handsome."

I snorted. "It's not that they look similar. There are moments, I guess, when I see similarities in their faces. But it's more their attitudes that are similar. And the endless string of girls."

"I see." No mockery colored Helena's tone, only a simple honesty. It sounded as though she really did understand.

"They're not the same, of course," I said as I screwed the lid back on the jar. "It's just a resemblance."

"Hide."

Helena' crisp voice cut through the air just as I placed the jar labeled beetroot juice back on the shelf. I glanced at the entrance of the ingredients cupboard before pointing my wand at myself and hissing, "Mentamon."

Even though I could feel the thin blanket of magic covering me, I didn't dare move. There was something terrifying about being unable to see the effects but still having to trust that the spell would hide me.

A shadow passed by the ingredients cupboard, and I caught sight of the bald head and rounded stomach of Slughorn. His Sunday afternoon wine with Kettleburn must have ended earlier than usual.

I felt exposed and vulnerable. Even though I could feel the spell, I still believed that Slughorn needed only to look inside the ingredients cupboard to see me.

Don't come in here. Don't come in here. Don't come in here. I repeated the phrase over and over again, willing Slughorn to obey my silent command.

Thankfully, he didn't so much as glace at the ingredients cupboard. I listened to his footsteps as he crossed the classroom, followed by the sound of a chair being pulled back. Then, came the rustling of papers.

Briefly, I wondered if I could just walk out of the classroom without being seen. Perhaps, if I was real Marlene, who had been raised in the magical world, I could trust the cloaking spell. But for me, that was impossible. Walking boldly into the potions classroom and expecting Slughorn to simply not notice me? Absolutely mad.

That's why Helena and I had made a back-up plan.

From somewhere outside the classroom, I heard a female voice shout, "Peeves! Not Professor Slughorn's photographs!" followed by the sound of several objects breaking.

I heard the sound of a chair scraping against stone, and then the shadow of Slughorn passed by. I waited until I heard the classroom door being wrenched open. And then, at last, I left the shelter of the ingredients cupboard.

I wanted to run. I wanted to flee as fast as my legs could carry me. I couldn't be caught. How could I explain this? What could I possibly say? Everything would be thrown into chaos. My promise to Marlene would be broken, and I'd end up in St. Mungo's or Azkaban.

I couldn't run. No matter how much my instincts screamed at me to flee, I could not listen. The cloaking spell wouldn't work if I made any large movements. The only thing I could do was take slow, even steps across the stone floor of the Potions classroom. Past the desks. Past the book shelves. Through the open door. Step out into the corridor—

With one foot out the door, I froze. Shattered glass and splintered photo frames lay about the floor of the dungeon corridor. The faces of Slughorn's favorite students were still smiling as they waved up at the ceiling. Slughorn, in his maroon robes, stood over the shattered pictures. However, he wasn't looking at the remnants of his prized possessions. Instead, his attention was focused on the small man in an outlandish red and orange outfit who hovered a good two meters off the floor.

I remained rooted to the spot, gawking. When we'd been planning our dungeon adventure, Helena had suggested using Peeves as a distraction. Just calling his name, she'd told me, was enough to make any teacher come running. But I hadn't expected her to actually get Peeves.

Peeves the Poltergeist was unlike any other ghost I'd seen at Hogwarts. He had a physical form, and his sharp eyes were a brilliant shade of orange. He wore a grin on his pale face that showed off his small teeth.

"Peeves!" bellowed Slughorn. His face was red as he drew his wand from his robes.

"Peevesie was just doing some cleaning," said the poltergeist with a cackle. "Getting rid of useless things for Sluggy."

Calm, even steps. No sudden movements. Steady. Still.

With those thoughts, I walked slowly past Slughorn and Peeves.

My heart thundered in my chest, and my head hurt from keeping my actions small and contained. Still, I walked down the corridor, I walked up the stairs, and I walked out of the dungeons.

It didn't end there. There was no time to celebrate getting over that hurdle.

In the hall outside the dungeons, two Gryffindors girls giggled over a magazine with a handsome wizard on the cover. I glanced at them before calmly, quietly walking past. Every single step from the dungeons to the lavvy echoed through my body, reminding me that at any moment everything could end.

I stepped into the lavvy and silently cast the ultinamo spell. The warm breeze brushed through the lavvy, and when I was certain there was no other human being around, I collapsed again the stone wall. At long last, I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Are you impressed?" The air shimmered, and then Helena appeared with a smug smile.

"How'd you get Peeves?" I asked.

"I found him this morning," said Helena in a careless tone. She ran her fingers through her silvery hair as she spoke. "He is rather simple once you understand him. A little suggestion on my part so that he would be in the trophy room this afternoon. That way, I could easily find him and steer him to Slughorn's photographs if you were in trouble."

"Thank you."

Helena smiled. She seemed genuinely pleased. But then, her smile faltered a little and she surveyed me through heavy, gray eyes. "Did you complete your task?"

"Yeah. It's done."

"I hope your plan succeeds."

So did I.

There wasn't much to do after that but go to the Room of Requirement and study for a couple hours. I didn't like telling outright lies if I could help it, so I figured I might as well make some of what I said to Marlene's friends the truth.

About an hour before dinner, I made my way down to the Great Hall to join Marlene's friends. When I reached the Gryffindor table, however, Mary and Lily had already gone to Potions Club, and their places had been taken by the Marauders.

To my relief, Sirius was missing. I didn't feel like having to act out Marlene's one-sided love right then. Dorcas sent me a worried glance, but I ignored her concern and slid into the seat next to Peter.

"Did you get a lot of studying done?" asked Remus.

"Yeah." I glanced across the table at James. "I'm surprised Lily let you sit with her."

James opened his mouth to respond but Dorcas cut across him, saying, "He didn't join until after Lily left."

I glanced at James, and he nodded sheepishly.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Peter struggling with his essay on improper uses of human transfiguration. I pulled out my own Transfiguration textbook so we could work together, and Peter shot me a grateful smile.

We didn't get very far. I'd only managed to write two sentences when I heard the sound of heavy footsteps behind me.

Suddenly, two small hands grabbed my left shoulder in a vice-like grip.

Careful to keep my eyes wide with surprise, I looked up to see Mary standing behind me. Her face was pale, and she bounced on the balls of her feet, as if she was in a hurry to go somewhere.

"Mary?" asked James, already half-risen from his seat. "What's the matter?"

"It's Lily!" Mary hissed the words, aware that other students in the Great Hall watched us. "She's in the Hospital Wing!"

James was out of his seat in a flash. He shoved his homework into his bookbag and was gone from the Gryffindor table before Mary could say another word.

I had already put away my Transfiguration textbook, but I was nowhere near as fast as James. I watched him disappear through the doors of the Great Hall before I turned back to Mary and asked, "What happened?"

Mary didn't answer right away. She nodded her head towards the exit, and we all understood. After we gathered our things, we left the Great Hall to speak somewhere more private. As we passed by the Slytherin table, I noticed Rosier and his friends watching us. I threw a glare in Rosier's direction, thinking of the hours trapped in a broom closet so that my expression would be genuine.

Mary walked in front, leading the way to the Hospital Wing, with Dorcas and me on either side of her. Remus and Peter followed behind us, leaning forward so that they could hear Mary's words properly.

"We were in Potions Club," explained Mary. "Lily was making her Headache Relieving Potion for Marlene, like always. She's made it a dozen times before. She knows what she's doing. But tonight, as she was boiling it, the potion suddenly started to spark and spit scalding liquid."

Dorcas's hands flew to her mouth. "Is she all right?"

"I walked with her to the Hospital Wing," said Mary. "She has some nasty burns, but Madam Pomfrey told me that she should could fix it up in a couple days."

"That long?" I asked, careful to keep my voice in a higher-pitch than usual. "Madam Pomfrey usually heals injuries with just a wave of her wand."

"I don't know," said Mary, frustration seeping into her voice. "Everything was a blur—I don't know."

We walked the rest of the way in silence, each absorbed in our own thoughts. I stole glances at Marlene's friends, taking in Dorcas's red eyes and Mary's pale face. I sent a silent apology to them. Sorry for putting them all through this. But I had things that needed to be done.

When we reached the Hospital Wing, we found James sitting on the floor outside. He had his head bent forward and one knee pulled up to his chest. His hazel eyes were dark as he stared with a blank expression as the stone wall in front of him.

"James," called out Remus.

Slowly, James raised his head to look at us. "Madam Pomfrey won't let me in. She won't even tell me what happened."

"Well," I said, as I took a seat on the floor next to him. "If you'd waited for us, you could have listened to Mary's story. Instead of running ahead and getting all worked up by yourself."

James sent me a weak smile. "Sorry."

There wasn't much for us to do. If Madam Pomfrey wasn't letting James in, then she certainly wasn't going to let the rest of us see Lily. Peter sat down next to me on the floor, while the other three remained standing. Remus kept glancing in the direction of the Hospital Wing door, while Dorcas wouldn't stop wringing her hands. Mary ended up repeating the story for James' sake.

James listened with a stony expression. When she was finished, he leaned back against the wall and said, "Lily would never mess up the ingredients for a Headache Relieving Potion."

I nodded along with his words. Then, I looked up at Mary and asked, "Lily said she usually experiments with the ingredients, though. Do you think she accidentally mixed two ingredients that don't belong together?"

Mary shook her head. "Lily would never make a mistake like that."

"Normally," I said. "But she was…distracted today." I added the last part with a glance in James' direction.

James let out a groan. "I should have left Will Spinnet alone."

"It's fine," I said. "She'd half-forgiven you already last I saw her."

That thought didn't seem to cheer James up in the slightest. And who could blame him with Lily lying in the Hospital Wing behind us. My stomach twisted, and I gave James a comforting pat on the shoulder.

"If it was those wannabe Death Eaters," sneered James through gritted teeth. "If they did something to Lily—"

"It was the potion," I reminded him. "How could some students make a Headache Relieving Potion explode like that? Mary was in the classroom the whole time." I glanced over at the person in question.

Mary frowned. "Dovetail, Proudfoot, Snape. Those are the only three Slytherins in Potions Club that I could see trying to hurt Lily like this."

"Snape wouldn't hurt Lily," said Dorcas.

"Who knows what he'd do anymore," said James darkly.

"He might be mad that she brushed him off when he tried to befriend her again after Herbology that one time," added Mary.

"He tried to talk to her after Herbology?" Remus glanced at Dorcas and me for confirmation. Upon seeing the agreement in our eyes, he asked incredulously, "Did he think that would work?"

I shrugged my shoulders but couldn't find anything to say. It was funny though, how they somehow instinctively sensed that this concerned Snape. My gaze shifted to the door of the Hospital Wing, and I bit down on my tongue. I hoped this worked. It had to work. Or this would've all been for nothing.

"I don't know what Snape was thinking," said Dorcas. "Lily wasn't interested in hearing him out, mind. But I still don't think he'd do something like this to her."

James and Remus looked skeptical, but then Peter's thin voice piped up, "What about Dovetail?" He glanced over at me. "She's always had it out for Lily and you."

"But how?" I asked. "Was there ever a time where Lily's cauldron was left unattended, Mary?"

Mary's eyes narrowed as she tried to remember. Before she could respond, Peter caught sight of something down the corridor. We all turned and saw two professors in floor-length robes making their way towards us. Slughorn's bald head glinted in the torchlight of the hall. Unlike his red, angry expression from earlier, his face was now pale and his brows narrowed.

My gaze passed over Slughorn to the other professor. He was tall and thin with a snow-white beard beneath a twice-broken nose and half-moon spectacles. His blue eyes were kind as he looked at us, but rather than feel reassured, my stomach dropped and I wanted nothing more than to disappear under the cloaking spell once more.

This was my first time seeing Professor Dumbledore up close. Before now, he'd only been a distant figure up at the teachers' table. When I'd read the Harry Potter books, Dumbledore had been a warm, guiding figure to Harry. Even in his worst moments, Dumbledore had been a reassuring presence. But now, I didn't feel warm or comfortable or any other positive feelings. I felt as though, at any moment, Dumbledore was going to order me to his office. His bright blue eyes would turn cold, and he'd tell me that I wasn't Marlene, that I worked for Voldemort, that I'd be thrown into Azkaban. Even if I begged and pleaded and tried to explain the truth, he wouldn't believe me. Or if he did believe me… This was the man who could go head-to-head with Voldemort. The man who would orchestrate his own death. The man who would groom Harry to die at the hands of Voldemort. If he knew the truth, then where would I fit in Dumbledore's schemes?

"Waiting to see Miss Evans?" asked Professor Dumbledore when he reached us. Despite his kind smile, his blue eyes seemed strained. It looked as though he'd discovered the cause of the exploding potion.

"Yes, Professor," said Remus. I nodded my head along with the rest of Marlene's friends.

"I need to have a word with Miss Evans," said Dumbledore, "but if Madam Pomfrey believes she is well enough, you may visit with her after."

We watched as Dumbledore, followed by a nervous Slughorn, entered the Hospital Wing and shut the door firmly behind them.

"It must be serious," said Dorcas in a low voice. "For Dumbledore to be here."

James tapped his foot against the stone floor. The sound echoed throughout the hall, but James didn't seem to notice. He stared at the wall opposite without really seeing.

Dorcas frowned. "Do you really think it was one of the Slytherins?"

"Who else could it be?" asked Mary.

I remained silent.

Dumbledore and Slughorn didn't spend long in the Hospital Wing. It couldn't have been for more than fifteen or twenty minutes. Of course, for us, it felt like an eternity. Remus, Dorcas, and Mary briefly discussed whether Dovetail or Proudfoot could have tampered with the potion, but Mary couldn't remember if Lily's cauldron was ever left unattended. Eventually, we stopped speaking and could only watch the door to the Hospital Wing helplessly.

When the door opened once again, Dumbledore gave us a warm smile. He stepped back to allow Slughorn past and then held the door open for us. "Madam Pomfrey says you may have fifteen minutes with Miss Evans. Though, she added that if you are not quiet and calm, she will remove you immediately."

One by one, we entered the Hospital Wing. I made sure to keep my gaze fixed on the floor as I walked past Dumbledore. It was only after I heard the click of the door closing behind us that I dared breathe.

"Lily!" cried James, promptly forgetting that we were supposed to be quiet and calm.

"Shush," hissed Remus and Mary as James raced across the Hospital Wing to one of the beds furthest from the door.

"I'm so sorry, Lily!" James grabbed the metal railing on the end of his bed. "You were right. I shouldn't have jinxed Will like that. I'm sorry. I thought I'd just give everyone a laugh—but it was childish of me. I shouldn't have done it. I'm sorry."

As the rest of us joined James at the end of Lily's bed, we saw her fully. I couldn't help but wince at the sight of the white bandages that had been placed on her forehead, chin, neck, and hands. Even as she managed a smile for James, I could see the shadows in her eyes and the ridged posture with which she held herself.

"It's all right, James," said Lily. "Really. I know you had good intentions. As long as you think a bit more next time, then there's no harm done."

James nodded. He tried to smile at her, but the pain in his eyes at the sight of Lily in bandages shone through.

My gaze dropped to the floor. However, I quickly lifted my head again, reminding myself that no matter how I felt, I couldn't look guilty. I was an innocent friend, worried about Lily. That's how I had to act. Of course, wanting to act that way and actually pulling it off were two different things. At first, I tried to pay attention to what Marlene's friends said, but the words of sympathy and concern transformed into a blur around me.

Was Lily all right? Of course she was all right. I had made sure of it. The burns would take a couple days to heal, but she wouldn't be left with a single scar and, in an hour or so, the pain wouldn't be worse than a light stinging sensation. I spent hours upon hours going through textbooks, ensuring the perfect combination of ingredients. A dramatic injury? Yes, but it would cause minimal pain and leave no scars.

"What did Dumbledore and Slughorn want to speak with you about?" asked Remus.

At last, the question I'd been waiting for had been asked.

I kept my expression tamed to nothing more than concerned curiosity as I watched Lily shift uncomfortably in the hospital bed. At last, she said, "They asked if anyone knew what potion I'd be making tonight. I told them everyone in Potions Club and most of my friends knew I was experimenting with the Headache Relieving Potion."

"Why would they want to know that?" asked Dorcas. "Did you use the wrong ingredients?"

Lily hesitated and then said, "It's not that I used the wrong ingredients…it's that certain ingredients were switched."

"Switched?" Remus spoke slowly and cautiously. "Which ingredients were switched?"

"The willow bark paste," said Lily, her voice barely more than a whisper, "had been replaced with a mixture of mud and dog rose pollen. And the beetroot juice had been replaced with vampire's blood. When the vampire's blood met the dog rose pollen…the potion exploded."

A stillness settled around the group. I didn't dare breathe. Everyone present knew the message contained in the carefully planned incident. Specific ingredients had been replaced with "mud" and "blood" to make a cauldron explode on muggleborn Lily Evans. It didn't take a genius to figure out who the most likely culprit was.

"Those pricks," hissed James. His voice was low and trembling with rage.

"We don't know who it was," said Lily.

"But still…" said Dorcas softly. "We can narrow it down."

"Who else would try to send a message like this?" asked James. "Who else would come up with such a cruel, methodical plan? They had to switch the ingredients in advance. They had to know what potion you'd be making—"

Lily's lower lip trembled ever so slightly, and James quickly stopped himself. His hands gripped the metal bed frame so tightly that his knuckles had turned white.

I could only stand there in silence, watching the anger burning in James, the hurt Lily kept close to her chest, and the worry in Dorcas's eyes. I could only listen to Mary's words when she accused the Slytherins in Potions Club of trying to hurt Lily and nod along with Remus when he said we would all visit Lily often.

On the other side of the bed, Peter's gaze shifted until his eyes met mine. He sent me a questioning glance.

At last, and only because I had to, I managed to find my voice. "I'm here if you need me, Lily."

Helena's words echoed in my head: I hope your plan succeeds.

We could only wait and see.

By the next morning, word had spread throughout all of Hogwarts that Lily Evans' potion had been sabotaged, and key ingredients had been replaced with mud and blood. The finer details, like the dog rose pollen and the vampire's blood, had been lost in the retellings, but the core of the story was intact. And, of course, everyone reached the obvious conclusion: the pureblood Slytherins were responsible.

At breakfast, I surveyed the Slytherin table. Dovetail spoke vehemently to Rosier. As I watched her place a hand on his shoulder, I remembered that they used to date. However, Rosier didn't seem to be in the mood to listen to whatever Dovetail had to say, judging by his icy expression. Snape's back was to me, but by the way he kept his head down and sat to the edge of his friend group, he wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone.

After taking measure of the Slytherins, I took some orange scones from the Hufflepuff table and wrapped them in a napkin. Scones were Lily's favorite.

Potions class that morning had been canceled, because Slughorn needed to go through the ingredients cupboard and confirm that everything was properly labeled. Dorcas, Mary, and I decided to take advantage of the free period to visit Lily in the Hospital Wing again.

When we arrived, Lily sat upright and smiling. We all pretended not to notice the bandages that covered her face and arms as we sat on the edges of her bed. She thanked me repeatedly for smuggling in breakfast, and we chatted about how apologetic James had been last night. Trying to hide a smile, Lily admitted he'd stopped by again that morning. When the time came to leave for double Transfiguration, I promised Lily to take extra care in my note-taking for her.

We were barely more than two steps out of the Hospital Wing when I noticed a shadow out of the corner of my eye. Dorcas and Mary seemed oblivious as they speculated which Slytherin could have hurt Lily. I walked a little slower, so that I dropped back behind them. With a flick of my wand, in little more than a breath, I whispered, "Diffindo."

The edge of my bag tore open, and I made sure to let out a yelp of surprise as a couple textbooks and a few rolls of parchment paper fell onto the stone floor. The yelp turned real when the black baseball cap slipped out as well. I dropped to my knees, desperate to grab the transfigured diadem.

Dorcas and Mary looked over their shoulders at the mess around me.

I froze, my hand outstretched towards the baseball cap.

My heart pounded, and I could barely hear my own thoughts. The diadem. They could see the diadem. It was right there in front of them. Rowena Ravenclaw's diadem. A horcrux. Part of Voldemort's soul.

"What happened?" asked Dorcas as she knelt to help me pick up a textbook.

"Bag caught on my watch." I snatched up the baseball cap and shoved it back into the bookbag. "You should go on ahead. Tell Professor McGonagall I'll be a few minutes late."

"It'll be faster if we help," said Dorcas.

"You need to take good notes for Lily," I said with a smile.

At my urging, Dorcas and Mary went on ahead. I pointed my wand at the bottom of my bag and said, "Reparo." Immediately the fabric mended itself and the enchanted bag returned to normal. Taking my sweet time, I started placing my scattered belongings back into the bookbag.

"McKinnon."

I didn't stop what I was doing. I kept my head down and only said, coldly, "Snape."

"You don't think I did it?" asked Snape, his voice tight with anger and indignation.

"I don't know what to believe." I dropped the last piece of parchment into the bookbag and got to my feet. I turned to look at the pale face of Severus Snape. Rage simmered behind his dark eyes, though it didn't seem directed at me.

"I would never hurt Lily," said Snape. "Never. You have to believe that."

I kept my gaze cool as I said, "You've called her that word before."

Snape winced. "And never again. It was a mistake. Lily's different. I told you. I would never hurt her."

"And what about your so-called friends?" I let loathing slip into my voice. "Do they think Lily's different too?"

To that, Snape had no answer. He knew as well as I did that, to them, Lily was no different from any other muggleborn.

I scoffed and started to turn away.

"Wait."

A single desperate word stopped me mid-step.

I had to bite down on the insides of my cheeks to stop myself from smiling. I glanced back at the Hospital Wing door before I turned to face Snape once again. "What is it?"

The words didn't come easily to Snape. "Rosier promised…He promised. And yet…Lily… Why did it have to be her? Rosier promised he wouldn't let them. But they…they don't get that Lily's different." His gaze lifted to mine. "You wanted to help me, right? You'd help me be friends with Lily again? Help me…please."

I stared at him for a long moment, letting his words sink in for both of us. Then, I said, "That was before Lily ended up in the Hospital Wing because of your friends."

I took a step backwards, preparing to go, when Snape said, "I want to catch them too. The person who did this. My friend." He spat the word.

Sorry, Lily. I couldn't stop my gaze from straying to Hospital Wing door once again. Sorry, Lily. I really did choose the ingredients so her injuries wouldn't be permanent or painful. I really didn't want to hurt her. I only needed to scare Snape.

"I believe you," I said at last. "And I'll help you. I'll help you catch the culprit and I'll help you and Lily be friends again."

Relief flashed across Snape's face.

Sorry, Lily. A foot in the door. That was all I needed. So that I could get Snape on my side.

"We'll talk later," I said. "Tomorrow evening. Now, I've got to go. I'm running late for Transfiguration."

And with that, I turned around and left Snape standing alone outside the Hospital Wing.

Fair is fair, Snape, I thought with a cold smile. I help you now. You pay me back later.