Chapter 11
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There is a universal reaction a soldier feels upon seeing a friend getting killed. Their first thought is "I'm glad it wasn't me." You usually feel bad about it after, but it is what you feel. It was hard losing a friend like Hudson, but I had to go on, I still had a job to do. It was actually several jobs, depending on what my assignment was. Guard duty, digging latrines, and so forth. To me the great war had become this farm, protecting the crops for humans to eat, it was that concentrated to me. Whatever battles were going on in other states, other countries, that was someone else's problem. I was no longer so excited about going off to fight the aliens, I would be okay with just staying on this farm for the remainder of my tour of duty. I had quickly realized that in war your only goal is your own survival, there is no prize for close second.
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What was ironic was that we were stationed on a farm, yet we weren't suppossed to eat the crops. Most of it went to the local population, soldier and civilian. We were fed ofcourse, it was just rationed like anything else. The actual owners of this farm still lived here, still helped new soldiers learn farm work. They said they would be compensated for their contribution later. Chickens still layed eggs, but only officers like colonel Sadler got to eat the them. I think the only egg I ate my whole time on the farm was one I won in a poker game. I often had guard duty at the barn, and there was the occasional stragler who would sneak in at night and steal some food. It was usually human refugees, including children. The army tried to help feed these displaced persons, but there wasn't always enough, and with the general chaos and confusion of war they didn't know everyone who was displaced by the war. When I did hear someone sneak in at night, I usually said nothing. I didn't know if it was some desperate refugee, who might be armed, or maybe some deserters from the alien army, also likely to be armed. I would have felt guilty forcing starving refugees away at gunpoint. I also didn't really want to risk a confrontation, remember what I said about your only goal in a war.
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In August there was a water shortage, it had to be rationed. Only the officers could enjoy, very brief, showers. That made the rest of us resentful of the officers. The fact that we were stinking was almost an act of defiance, the officers had to smell us. Almost all the spare water went to the crops. The irony is that the enemy could have killed us all by just cutting off our only water supply we had left. I've often wondered why they didn't. Perhaps they had some pity for us, perhaps they didn't want to risk destroying the crops. Or perhaps they just didn't know, I doubt that colonel Sadler was advertising this fact. The water crisis lasted less than two weeks, but sure felt like two months. Even very simple pleasures like being able to drink water and shower, you don't appreciate that until it's gone. But it wouldn't be long before I looked back on that with some nostalgia, because things were about to get a lot worse for me.
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It is true that, in the beginning of the war, all the countries of the Earth had been united in fighting the aliens. Even countries that had a long history of hatred towards each other, that hatred was a luxury that they could no longer afford. But it is also true that, in a war, each nation has it's own seperate set of selfish interest. Alliances are important, up to a point, but it only takes one so far. In September, it was announced that Israel had made a seperate peace with the aliens. Part of the peace, some called it an alliance, was that the aliens would guarantee safe passage to Israel to any jewish people currently living under occupation. To many it seemed that the jews had betrayed them, stabbed them in the back. I was a jewish american, had always considered myself an american, had fought and killed for America. But now, my loyalty was being questioned. It was about to get very bad for me.