Chapter 34: Fantasy Island
Gus had fallen into a blissful sleep when a soft knock came on her door, wondering who the hell was knocking, she grabbed her gun and went to go answer the door. A look through the peephole revealed Flack standing there with a paper bag. Putting her Glock down, Gus felt suddenly very under dressed in her tank top and shorts, but was more wondering why he was at her door. She opened it and waved him in.
"What are you doing here, Flack its 3am, and you hung up on me?!"
"I decided on breakfast, sunshine, in bed," he said his lips suddenly meeting hers.
It was just like that night on the roof, except this time he didn't suddenly jump away, instead he half carried her backwards toward the bedroom, tossing the paper bag on the table as he went. Gus clawed at his shirt, why he was in one of his button downs in the middle of the night, she didn't know. Buttons went flying down her hallway. He pinned her against a wall trying to take off both of their undershirts at the same time. Gus gasped for air, confused about what was going on but her desire to devour him stronger than her confusion. He picked her up and threw her down on her bed, his blue eyes almost glowing in the dark with desire. Gus fumbled at his belt buckle, angry at her fingers for not working fast enough, feeling him straining against the fabric, he shoved her hands out of the way and his pants were off in an instant.
Gus traced his back before running her palms lightly over his chest, his scar, saying, "are you sure you're okay?"
"I'll be better in a minute, sunshine," he growled deep in his throat.
"What about breakfast?" Gus asked.
"It will keep, its only donuts," Flack said, his head buried in her hair kissing her throat, he was moving slowly down her body when-
Beepbeepbeepbeep! Gus' alarm went off next to her head. She practically jumped a foot in the air. "Well that's interesting," she said flustered, and equal mix of embarrassment and yearning. It had felt very real and very very nice and she was more than a little upset that Flack was not in fact in her bed and she wasn't sure how to process that information and she couldn't because she had to get to work.
"Morning, Princess," Detective Lafferty sneered at her as soon as she stepped into the office. She should have known that Thatcher and Parker wouldn't be the only thorns in her side. "Hear you actually got a collar yesterday, must have been an open a shut case seeing as it was my day off and I was here to assist your sweet young-" he stopped abruptly as Angell walked by. "Oh yeah, now there's two of you to pretty up the place, kinda like the double mint twins."
Angell shook her head and kept walking. Gus settled into her desk, realizing it was going to be a long day.
Gus flipped through binders, trying to pretend like she actually cared about leaning radio codes and IAB procedures, she knew it was part of the job, but she kept going back to that dream...
She was thankful that Flack wasn't directly across from her at his desk, mostly because her mind kept wandering to the gutter on what she would like to do on top of said desk. How come she this had never occurred to her when she had her own office, with a door and privacy and a much studier desk? "Crap timing as usual," she muttered to herself.
"You know, if you had come up through the ranks, you would already know all that stuff," Parker said perching himself on the corner of her desk.
"Thanks for that helpful advice, Parker, I hope you are always this useful," Gus said smiling at him. 'Flies, sugar, vinegar' she chanted in her head.
"I'm just saying, a lot of people might think you didn't put your time in, maybe had a few favors pulled being Mac Taylor's niece or maybe some hurricane pity card."
"A lot of people, you being one of them, Parker?" Gus stared him down, edging a binder edge straight toward his butt cheek that was splayed across her desk.
"Maybe yes, maybe no," Parker taunted her.
Gus sighed, "Parker, I can give you my full resume if you want it, on pretty scented paper if it will make you feel better." She rubber her forehead, she had not had enough coffee.
"Well how are we supposed to know what your background is? How are we supposed to know that you can handle yourself?"
"You could ask me for one thing," Gus could feel herself getting riled up, but fought her anger down. 'Treat them like a mandated client, you have to flip them' she thought. "Parker, what would you like to know about me?" she said calmly, "I don't have anything to hide from anyone in the department," Gus turned her palms up.
"I dunno," Parker looked astonished, he had been trying to goad her and it wasn't working, "You work with the police before?"
"My first internship with the NOPD was in 1998. Not a great time in the city," Gus paused and looked at him, "my father was military and then he was a cop before he got killed, on the job." She wasn't trying to play a sympathy card, but she didn't want him to think she was fresh off the boat.
"You're legacy?" Parker was incredulous, maybe she could find her ass with two hands and a flashlight.
"I guess I am," she replied.
"Huh," he said, surprised.
"Parker, I don't know if you noticed in my old office, but one of those 'fancy degrees' as you called them was a in Criminal Justice."
"Guess I never really looked," he admitted.
"Or asked," she said matter of fact.
"You do know how to use your weapon, right?"
"You want me to test it out on you?" Gus said, but with a grin.
Parker studied her, weighing the information he had just received, and finally, "I guess you're okay kid, if Flack says you're alright, I'll believe him."
"Thanks for that ringing endorsement Parker, now I am going to go make some coffee that doesn't taste like shit," Gus said brushing him off her desk.
"Oh look here, she's making coffee, maybe's she learned about where a woman's place is," Lafferty remarked as Gus was fiddling with the coffee maker.
"What is with you Lafferty, are you like stuck in 1952?" Gus was frustrated with this hydra, she had used up her patience cutting off Parker's head.
"Nah, I'm just saying someone who looks like you should be at home, making babies or something, not on the streets."
"If I was ugly I could be a cop? That doesn't make a lick a sense!"
"Lick a sense, don't have to, just the way it is," he replied.
"See from where I stand, you and I have the same badge, the same privileges and the same responsibilities, I just happen to look better doing it!" Gus pulled herself up ramrod straight, shoved the coffee pot back in the maker and went back to her desk.
She wasn't back at her desk for five minutes before the lieutenant came by waving a piece of paper, "hey Broussard, I know you got all these fancy degrees and have been in the lab a lot, but HR says you gotta have the trainings on these forms signed off."
"Fine," Gus said wondering what hoops she was going to have to jump through now.
"So go see one of your friends in the lab, do whatever it is you gotta do and get signed off on, because I need you out there not in here."
"I'm on it, sir," Gus said getting up and heading to the lab.
Luckily it was quiet, at least quieter in the lab. Lindsay was the first person Gus saw, and she was grateful for that. "Linds!"
"Gus, it is great to see you in here, all official. I like those shoes, but can you run in them?"
"Have you been talking to Flack, are y'all ganging up on me?"
"No, they just are too cute to be work shoes," Lindsay looked down at her own low heeled loafers, feeling a tad frumpy.
"Gel technology," Gus replied, pointing to them.
"So what are you doing here? Do you have evidence for me?"
"No, I have a stupid training sheet to go through and have signed off on."
"Oh joy," Lindsay said, trying to remember when she was first trained.
"Yeah, I know, are you busy?"
"Not so much, I would rather go through this with you, you probably know all of what is on it though." Lindsay looked over the sheet, "CODIS, seriously, I think you know all about that..." she flipped through, looking for what she needed to cover.
"So Danny asked me out on a date," Lindsay remarked nonchalantly as she signed off parts of the sheet.
"Date date?!" Gus exclaimed, "what did you say?"
"Well, I wanted to say yes, but I still don't know, I feel like I am emotionally unavailable," Lindsay wanted to spill out the whole story to her friend, but didn't want to be judged.
"So?" Gus snorted.
"So what?"
"No one said you had to have a relationship with him!"
"True, but..." Lindsay looked serious.
"You think that may be what you want, but are scared to admit it to him or even yourself?"
"Pretty much, plus I am kind of dealing with some stuff back home." Lindsay wondered how her friend managed to get straight to the point and debated spilling everything that was happening back in Montana, but she still held back.
Gus didn't push her friend, knowing that Lindsay had drama she didn't want to talk about. Before she even knew she was thinking it, Gus burst out with, "I keep having intense sexual fantasies about Flack." Lindsay's eyes grew three times their normal size. Gus flushed and clapped a hand to her mouth. "Crap, I didn't mean to say that out loud!"
"Well you did. What are you going to do?" Lindsay said with a smirk.
"I don't know, I can't concentrate...I certainly can't act on them, we are supposed to be partners when he gets back on active duty. I just can't believe I am having them!"
"Even you are not immune," Lindsay said with a knowing smile.
"What do you mean?" Gus said, her eyes narrowing slightly.
"Look around Gus, every female here has under 70 has had fantasies about Don Flack," Lindsay gestured around the entire building.
Gus stared at her friend not wanting to ask, but doing it anyway. "Even you?"
Lindsay could see her friend wilting, "maybe one, my first week here, but my fantasies have since, um, shifted focus," a grin spread across her face.
"All right then, Montana," Gus teased, "I can let you live. But what am I supposed to do? It's bad!"
"Pretty simple the way I see it," Lindsay said, with a shrug.
"Yeah, what? You got some sort of fancy machine in here to give me my senses back?"
"Nope. See unlike every other woman around here, you could actually act on those fantasies," Lindsay waggled her eyebrows.
"No," Gus said staring at her friend in disbelief, "no, I couldn't. It would be weird and messy and remember what Stella said. I couldn't. What if he rebuked my advances, I would look like an idiot!"
Lindsay laughed at her, "I doubt that would be the case." "Well, I just couldn't," Gus said with finality.
"Won't, not can't, just remember that," Lindsay responded, "now come over here so I can show you how to use this so I can sign you off."
Chapter 35: Stood Up
Before Gus knew it, her shift was over and she had spent to whole time training. While it was boring, it did mean that she didn't have to deal with more harassment from her new co-workers. She was debating if she wanted to call Stella or Lindsay to go out, but she figured they might have other plans, it was Saturday night after all. Maybe she would just go to the market and get something to make for dinner. Like magic, her cell phone rang. Checking the caller id, her stomach did flip flops. "Hey, blue eyes, how are you not on a date?"
"Actually, sunshine, I got stood up," Flack said sounding not at all like a man who had just been stood up.
"What?" Gus ranged from disbelief and extreme disappointment that he had been going on a date.
"Yep, serious no show, at least I think an hour plus late counts as a no show," Flack laughed into the phone, thinking this was the happiest he had ever been while being caught in a trendy restaurant, dateless.
"Depends, is she a cop, attorney, or doctor? Because she could just be caught up, I mean we get caught up all the time, she should have called though, it is rather rude. Not to mention that I can't believe anyone would stand you up especially-"
Flack cut off Gus' nervous rambling. "Sunshine, I got stood up. My grandmother set me up with a preschool teacher. I told her not to, but you just can't tell Grams no."
"So I've gathered. Preschool teacher, huh. Maybe she had some sort of glue eating emergency?" Gus tried to steer the conversation to a lighter side, wondering why she was nervously rambling, though she knew it was her mind kept going back to her interrupted dream.
"Doubt it, apparently she had recently broken up with someone and her mother is in grandmother's bridge group and said she was depressed and blah blah, Grams called and asked if I was busy tonight, and I thought she was going to ask me to come over so I told her the truth."
Now Gus wondered why Flack was blabbering, "which was no?" she asked, shocked.
"Which was no, so she tells me to show up at this restaurant at seven and here it is after eight and..."
"Sorry to hear that, definitely her loss, Don. She probably has some severe mental issues being trapped with pre-schoolers all day." Gus felt bad for him, but also extremely happy that the recently dumped teacher hadn't met the damn sexy detective.
"Well anyway, Gus, I was wondering if you had eaten, 'cause otherwise there's this table going to waste." Flack was relieved to have it out there, and hoped the answer would be yes, he still couldn't figure out why he was asking her out instead of just going home, but he decided to just run with it.
Was he asking her out? He couldn't be asking her out, it was just because he had been stood up and he wasn't about to share a romantic little table with Danny. Oh god what if he was asking her out and it was some little romantic table? Gus ran through these thoughts in her mind and then looked down at herself. And of course she looked like a cop, she hoped she didn't look too butch...
"You still there, sunshine?" Flack hoped she hadn't hung up on him with her damn dating rules.
"Yeah, I'm still here, hungry too. So where are you?" while adding to herself, 'Mind you I would like to skip dinner and skip straight to dessert a la Flack'.
"It's some joint called 'The Place' I mean, really, come on, but it's at 310 W. 4th." This meant she was coming, right, and if so, what did that mean? He didn't know but he knew he had never been so happy to have been stood up before.
"I'll be there soon, I see a cab now," Gus said as she flagged down the cab.
She slid in, told the cabbie her address and started digging through her bag. Thankfully, Gus had gotten used to being called into court on a moments notice several years ago, so she always carried far too much crap with her. She pulled her hair out of it's bun, ripped off her jacket, took off and balled up her top and re- buttoned her jacket all to the driver's great amusement.
"Hot date huh?" the cabbie said to the woman stripping down in the back seat of his cab.
"I'm not sure," she said, removing the clip from her gun and dropping both into the pocket of her tote while sorting through her make-up.
"Trust me, it's hot," he said with a grin.
"Thanks."
Gus had just finished a second coat of mascara when the cabbie pulled up front, "Have a good time, doll."
"Thanks again," Gus said leaving him a nice tip.
The maitre'd showed her to the table where Flack was sitting, Gus' heart skipped a thousand beats.
"Wow!" Flack said once she was seated, she looked amazing, still natural but stunning and not at all like a cop, "tell me you didn't look that at work today."
Gus looked down, "I take it I don't look as butch as I feared?"
"I would say not, but how did you keep the guys off you today?"
Gus leaned over, "my shirt is in my bag, Don!"
Flack flushed slightly, knowing she was trying to admonish him even as she inadvertently gave him an eyeful. "I ordered wine and scallops, hope you don't mind."
"Nah, I'm easy, you know that." Gus caught what she said and wanted to die, "don't even think about making a comment, Flack!"
"Wasn't gonna," he replied, but really wanting to say 'mostly because you are not, thought right about now I would work desk duty for another six months if you would be'. He did, however say, "you do look amazing. Thanks for coming."
"Thanks for inviting me, I'm glad I can make an adequate understudy."
Flack was seriously considering making a study under joke when the maitre'd showed up at the table with a strikingly tall and thin strawberry blond behind him, "Three for you tonight, Mr. Flack?" the maitre'd asked confused.
"Huh?" Flack looked up.
"You have got to be kidding me," Gus said up toward the heavens.
"Are you Donnie, I am like so sorry, I went to the wrong place, Place funny huh, I'm Missy."
"Kill me," Gus said burying her head in her hands. Flack looked at the three people facing him, unsure of what his next move should be.
Gus started to gather herself, "look Don, I'll just, um, let you have your date and you can, um call me if you aren't busy with er, Missy, if you want me to cook for you tomorrow, thanks anyway," she said getting up and trying to figure out how to make a graceful exit after being dumped on the not sure if it was even a first date.
Flack caught her by the arm, "Gus wait, sit down, you're staying."
He got up and went over to the maitre'd and Missy, "I'm sorry for the confusion, sir, we can sort this out from here though," he said slipping the man a bill.
"Very well sir, if I can be of further assistance," the man nodded and glided off.
He turned to the woman, "Missy right?" She nodded smiling a broad smile, confident, without a care. "Look Missy, the thing is, you are almost an hour and a half late, and I would have been fine with that if you would have let me known, but you didn't."
"I told you, I got confused," the woman batted her eyelashes up at him.
"Really?" he said staring her down with eyes of pure ice. Gus just sat there, playing with her wine glass, unable to hear what was going on behind her.
"Sort of, I was kind of um...busy with Kevin, my ex, but my mom told me I had to come."
"In that case, why don't you go back out, catch a cab and go have dinner or whatever with Kevin, your ex, so I can get back to my night?"
"Well fine, buy my mother said your grandmother said you needed to get out more, I was just trying to do a favor," Missy huffed, disbelieving she was getting a brush off from some cop.
"Don't do me any favors," Flack said his jaw tightening. He stared her down before turning to re-join Gus at the table.
"Hey," Gus asked softly when he sat down, she gently nudged his foot under the table, "you good?"
"Better now," he said relaxing as he got lost in her concerned eyes.
"Glad I poured you a big glass," Gus said gesturing to the wine glass, "you could have had dinner with her though. She was pretty."
"Not my type," Flack grunted stabbing a scallop, "I hope this isn't one of them pretentious places where you don't get any food on your plate except inedible art."
Gus surveyed the room, "it probably is, but I'll treat you to dessert," she said grinning.
They enjoyed their dinner, though the portions were kind of small, and talked a lot about cases Flack had worked on and how Gus was dealing with the comments she had been getting. "Ya know, I got a lot of the same crap, people figured I was just waltzing in and wouldn't have to do anything because of my father."
"But your did patrol for over four years, Don!"
"Didn't matter, but that is partially why I did it longer."
"It sucks always having to prove yourself," Gus said circling the rim of her wine glass.
"Yeah, I can't blame you for trying to keep you and Mac being related a secret."
"The problem with secrets are they never stay that way forever," Gus sighed.
"I think you are doing fine even with the truth being known," Flack was entranced with her finger circling her wine glass.
"I guess," she said as the server cleared their plates and gave them the 'please leave I want to go home' look.
"You still want dessert?" Gus asked Flack.
"Nah, I'm good, how about a walk though?"
"Why is it everyone's trying to make me walk the beat?" Gus said grinning and reaching down to get her bag, "how much do I owe you for this pretentious but surprisingly enjoyable meal?"
"Nope, my treat, I was the one that got stood up."
"You didn't really though," Gus pointed out.
"No arguments, you are cooking for me tomorrow right?" he countered, staring her down.
"If you want," Gus shrugged, a movement causing her jacket to gape and leave little to the imagination.
Flack held back breakfast in bed comments, though he was dying to make them, "I want." Oh man, do I want, he added silently.
Once outside they starting walking, in comfortable silence, neither one really leading, just meandering, side by side, brushing arms but not actively touching.
"Thanks for the invite," Gus said not turning to look at Flack, afraid she might melt if she did.
"No problem you were good company, always are," he said, helping her right herself as she tripped over nothing without saying a word.
Gus grinned knowingly, "once a klutz," she said softly.
They continued to walk in silence, each lost in their own thoughts until they ended up in front of Gus' building. They turned to each other, the silence becoming a little less comfortable and Gus realized she was having a clichéd awkward New York stoop moment, and it sent her into a happy tizzy.
"Well ah-" Flack started in unsure to hug or kiss her on the cheek or ask to ravish her inside, or hell, right here would do.
"Wanna go into the park?" Gus said suddenly pointing to the gates.
"You have your key?" Flack was caught off guard and didn't know what to say.
"Right here," Gus said patting her bag.
"Isn't it supposed to be technically closed for the night?" he said, pointing at the sign.
"Last time I checked we were the police, Flack."
"Where is your gun anyway," Flack said reaching out to where her hip holster would normally be and jerking his hand away when he realized since she took off her shirt he was touching bare waist and hip.
"In my bag, come on, let's see if we can actually see any stars," Gus said taking off to unlock the gate. Once inside, whispering like children, Gus flopped down in the middle of the grass, her hair spilling out behind her, "There aren't enough stars here," she sighed.
"You sound like Lindsay," Flack grinned at her, sitting down beside her, "you came from a city."
"It's virtually an island in the swamp, ten minutes drive and you could see all the stars you wanted. Though after the storm it was so dark, I have never seen so many stars, it was like a science fiction movie."
"You ever going to tell me what happened in New Orleans?" Flack could only imagine what she went through there, but it was something she just wouldn't talk about.
"You mean with Katrina?" Gus said hesitantly.
"Yeah, I wasn't talking Mardi Gras, sunshine."
"I'd rather tell ya about the Mardi Gras, da-wlin'," she drawled with a horribly thick and obnoxious accent.
"Could you be serious?" Flack shot Gus a look.
Gus, sat up, drawing her knees to her chest. "I saw some shit I never wanted to see, things I didn't think could happen in this country. People keep comparing it to 9/11, but it's different in a lot of ways. It wasn't just a few blocks, it was- is miles and miles of destruction, but more than that it was the complete disintegration of order. And not the fault of terrorists. I have seen anarchy in action Flack, and it ain't pretty," she stood up then, hugging herself.
She was closing off again, Flack hated himself for having brought it up, he wanted to know everything about her, wanted to somehow make all her horrors go away. He felt completely inadequate, something he wasn't used to and something he didn't like. "I'm sorry you had to go through that, Gus," he said moving in front of her.
"What doesn't kill you-" she started to quip as Flack drew her to him and kissed her, sweetly at first but rapidly deepening.
It was as hot and hungry as the night on the roof after Aiden died, but maybe a little more desperate and yearning this time. Gus had to free her arms from between them, she did and reached up to slip them around Flack's strong but lean body. Flack took that opportunity to rest his hands on her bare waist, slowly sliding them up her sides, sending shivers and lightening bolts through her body at the same time. Flack marveled at the softness and strength in her curves, he didn't understand how both could co-exist.
Gus had untucked Flack's shirt and was exploring the line of his deltoids thinking how good those core excises made him feel. Heat radiated off of them such that a satellite probably tagged them from space. Gus could feel the ground slipping away, or was she falling, she couldn't tell but the kiss seemed to last forever and part of her felt like it was at a breaking point. Something animalistic groaned from each of their throats in unison, something that scared the hell out of Augusta Broussard. She was the one who flipped the switch this time, she wrenched herself from Flack's arms, feeling as if she was tearing herself from the womb.
"What?" Flack asked dazedly, untucked, rumpled, flushed, lips swollen, "why'd ya?" he searched Gus' face which instead of being flushed with pleasure, was pale with panic, were those tears in her eyes?
"I can't, I just...it is one of those lines and I can't cross it, God I want to, Don, but I can't." Gus could feel her tears spilling over and was embarrassed at them and ashamed at herself for being a tease. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to tease you or string you along, it's just I can't, if we're supposed to be partners then I just, and I need and I just can't-" she couldn't complete a sentence, the tears burning her face as she gasped for air.
Flack was pissed and confused and wanting more than anything to comfort her, he just didn't know how to do that. "Sunshine, you can't keep doing this to me!"
"I wasn't trying to do anything," she gulped, feeling guilty and angry, "and every time you have kissed me," she snapped at him.
"Wasn't like you resisted," he shot back and immediately felt like crap seeing her face crumple again.
"It's just..." she trailed off, staring at the sky and chewing her lip, "...more than I can handle, you are definitely more than I can handle," she said.
"Somehow I doubt that, but thanks...I think" Flack was beyond flummoxed now, he ran his hand through his hair and stuck his hand in his pocket.
Gus studied him, wiping her tears away, how much she wanted to say, 'I want nothing more than to jump you, but I'm afraid if I did I would fall completely in love with you and that is a death sentence and I care about you too much for that'.
"You said 'I want to'," he said suddenly. Gus just swallowed and nodded. "You ever just let yourself go, just fall without analyzing every possible outcome?"
"In real life there are these things called consequences, maybe they don't exist for you, but they do for me, Don!"
His eyes flashed, he looked like he was searching for something to say. Finally he cupped her cheek and said, "in that case, I wish I could make this not real life, but I'm done trying with you," and with one firm final quick kiss he turned and walked away.
"Crap," Gus muttered, "I'm sorry, Flack, wait!" she called after him.
"I'll see you Monday, Broussard," he called back, not turning around.
Gus stood there, frozen, dumbfounded, and hurt before uttering to the heavens, "Could you blow it a little bigger next time, Augusta?" before she walked into her apartment.