Chapter 52: Don't Leave
Gus stumbled over the threshold of the interrogation room, not used to finding her center of gravity with her hands cuffed. She was righted by a strong hand and immediately pulled into a hug. She hadn't even seen who it was but she knew immediately by scent, "Don," she cried into his shoulder.
"Jesus, sunshine are you alright?" Flack said pulling back slightly and looking down at her with eyes full of worry and so light they almost looked gray.
"I'll be fine, I just haven't slept in, well going on three nights now, and haven't eaten anything. And could you, ya know?" she looked over her shoulder at her cuffed hands.
"Right, sorry," Flack turned her around and gently undid the cuffs. He stayed close behind her not knowing what to do or say, not knowing what had been going on in the shelter, not knowing what had happened to Gus, and hating that he had been drawn up in that damn bachelor case with the psycho maid and neighbors. Damn rich people.
Gus rubbed her wrists, the cuffs had still left a mark, she shivered, it had been cold outside and she hadn't brought a jacket, it was equally cold in the interrogation room. The room was not really set up for a welcome back party.
Flack wrapped his arms around her, trying to at the very least offer her body heat and comfort. They stood there silent, each lost in their own thoughts until the door opened behind them and the head of Special Vics said, "I can come back."
Flack stepped away from Gus and turned around.
Gus followed suit, "It's fine, Lieutenant Fields, I just want to be debriefed and to get home."
"I'm gonna go get you some coffee," Flack said to her still concerned and wishing he could be in here for the ebriefing. Gus nodded.
"Let's get this done then Detective Broussard. First of all, good work." She sat on the table, recorder and pad in hand, motioning for Gus to follow her. Flack left the room, giving Gus a worried look over the other officer's head.
It was so late it was early before Gus was finished being debriefed, she practically felt like a suspect by the time it was over even though Lieutenant Fields was calm and patient with her.
As soon as she stepped out of the room, she saw Flack waiting for her. "You didn't have to wait," Gus stated, though she couldn't think of anyone else she would rather see right now. Something about his presence made her feel like she could finally check out and let him take care of things.
"Yeah, I did," he replied, "you want some breakfast?"
Gus just nodded feeling shell shocked and suddenly seeing how bad things could have gone with her assignment but thankful they hadn't.
They went to the nearest diner, Gus feeling like a ghost. Flack was worried, but she seemed to be doing well enough, just tired and detached.
Sitting in the diner, a waitress dropped a stack of plates and Gus about jumped out of her skin.
"Whoa there, sunshine, maybe we should just get you home?" Gus just nodded again, she hadn't said anything other than to order and say "yes" when Flack asked if she was sure she was okay.
Flack steered Gus out of the diner, and got her home.
Gus looked confused on her doorstep, she had been in a daze the entire way back. "It feels like I was gone longer than three days," she mumbled, looking up at the building like she had been gone for years.
"Yeah it does," Flack replied still holding Gus upright. "You want me to come up?" he asked.
"Uh-huh," Gus said, letting him lead her in and up to her apartment, "crap my keys," she said.
"Got 'em sunshine, you gave me them remember, along with your shield, creds and gun?"
"Yeah, forgot," she muttered. He led her in, growing more concerned at her dazed expression. She shook her head trying to clear her fog, "I need a shower," she said wandering towards the bathroom.
Flack desperately wanted to follow her, just to ensure she was going to make it, but he knew better. He said, "call out if you need anything."
"Fine," was all she said.
He got more worried, no joke. no 'not in your wildest dreams', nothing. He shook his head and went to make her something to drink.
Standing underneath the water, Gus felt a whoosh of the past years' events wash over her combined with the realization that had she not gotten out of there she would have most likely been raped. She started sobbing, trying to not make any noise. She finally got her sobs under control, turned off the water, skipped drying off and pulled on a robe, she needed a drink and sleep. She wandered down the hallway and skidded to a stop when she saw Flack standing there, a drink already poured for her. The expression on his face did something to her heart, he looked frightened and Flack didn't do frightened.
He could tell she had been crying and she was still half soaking wet. Before he could fully process what he was feeling, she threw herself into his arms, sobbing again. He just held her, rubbing her wet hair, gently rocking her. "You're safe," he said holding her tighter. He came to a conclusion, he had been terrified, something he wasn't used to feeling, not even after getting his gut blown open and that could only mean that...dammit, he really did love her.
Gus finally stopped crying not wanting to look up, not wanting to leave Flack's arms. She mumbled, "I need sleep," into his chest.
"Well luckily you don't have anywhere to be," Flack said, lifting her chin up to look into her eyes. They looked haunted. "Come on sunshine, I'll tuck you in," and he lead her to her room, folding back the covers. Gus slid in immediately curling into the fetal position.
He kissed her on her wet head, "I'll be in the living room if you need me. I'm on call but I'll tell them to go to hell if they actually call."
"Don't leave," Gus mumbled.
"I won't I'll be-" he looked at her, seeing the panicked look in her eyes.
"Oh," he said, catching her meaning and not sure what to do, it wasn't a proposition, it was fear. "Whatever you need sunshine, I'm here," he said stripping down to his undershirt, "I'm taking my pants back then though," he said getting out the still lauded NYPD sweats.
Not even a crack of a smile, she just looked dazed, still curled up. He went to the other side of the bed, slipping into the sweatpants and curled around her but on top of the covers. "Gus, no one touched you did they, because I'll kill them." He meant it in every cell of his body he realized.
"No, no one touched me. It could have been close though-" her voice wavered, and Flack just pulled her close to him, not caring that she was getting him wet, "just get some sleep."
Gus fell into a deep exhausted sleep, Flack couldn't follow suit. He just kept thinking about what could have happened to her, wonder what had and just watching her sleep. He had never wanted to protect someone so much, not even his little sister and he had been a real jerk about that in the past, Sam always whined about it. The knowledge that he couldn't protect her always felt like something stabbing him in the heart. But as long as they were partners he could do his damnedest to ensure that she was not hurt. He also was going to have to pull a few favors to make sure she never was put in undercover without him, maybe he could use being the son of legend in his favor for once.
Gus slept about six hours, but they felt like more. She could not remember a time being so exhausted or feeling so safe as she was with Flack wrapped around her, even if there were covers between them. She could feel herself falling fast and tried hard to find the brakes, and was terrified when she couldn't...dammit Broussard, she thought to herself, you thought you were over your head working undercover...
She woke up, realized Flack was passed out behind her, she figured he must have not slept either the past few days. Her heart swelled with that, but she was careful to not wake him, she didn't want to break this magic spell that that had settled over her bedroom. Sunlight was streaming in, that crisp almost harsh autumn kind of light, dancing through the curtains and falling over both of them. Gus was turned away from the window, but she bet the sky was a brilliant blue, kind of like Flack's eyes.
She tried to get lost in that thought, but the thoughts of what could have happened on the case washed over her. And then she got lost in thoughts of having to go to trial and wondering who George may be connected to, it could get dangerous for her once they discovered she was a cop. Or if they thought she ratted them out. She stiffened, her heart pounding, why didn't she talk about this last night in the debriefing...
"Stop thinking, sunshine," Flack murmured into her neck pulling her back towards him.
"Sorry, Don, did I wake you?" Gus felt a wave of guilt.
"No the painfully bright sun took care of that," Flack said inhaling the scent of her and feeling content.
"Must be noon then, always does that," she remarked, her voice still flat.
"You need darkening shades, how do you deal on nights when you have to sleep during the day?" Flack figured she just didn't, another wish he had was that she would relax some, he had a few ideas on how to achieve that but now was really not the time.
"Office is really dark," she replied, happy to be having a normal conversation instead of the half-dead one she had last night. But then she realized she was lying in bed with her partner and her robe was starting to fall open and he was and she...and crap.
She must have stiffened again because he said, "Gus really, chill out and quit thinking, the case will be fine."
Yeah the case...but what about me? she thought.
She desperately wanted to turn towards him, but she knew being that close would be more than she could handle without becoming a babbling, drooling idiot and she would have to kiss him and then things would just get complicated..."Coffee," she grunted pulling herself away from him and ensuring her robe was belted tight.
"Of course," he laughed.
Gus noticed her cell phone on the counter with her other creds, Flack had turned it to silent. Five missed calls, five voice mails: one each from Stella, Lindsay, Mac, Danny, and Sheldon. Plus texts from Angell and Adam. All hoping she was alright and saying they didn't know what she had been up to only had been told she had been put UC for a while and that there had been rumors that she had been arrested. Mac's messaged assure her that those rumors were being handled, she hoped he was right.
She listened to them all, while making coffee and was pouring a mug with her phone still tucked to her shoulder when Flack came up behind her, "you can leave it alone for one day, I promise," he said rubbing her back through the robe.
"It's just the team," she replied nonchalantly trying to ignore his hand on her back.
"I'm sure they all called," he grinned.
"Yep," she poured him a mug as well, shoved the cream and sugar towards him and wrinkled her face, "I have so much paperwork to do."
"It will keep," he said taking the coffee and peering through the steam at her.
"I know, but I can't stay cooped up I'll just keep thinking. Nothing happened to me, there's no reason for me to not go in." She would go crazy sitting in this apartment all day.
"I can think of a few," he retorted, why was she so stubborn, she was as hard headed as him and that was impossible.
She closed her eyes and shook her head. Then setting down her mug and leaning on the counter peering up at him on a stool at the breakfast bar, "Flack, I don't know how to say this, but I don't have the words to express how much I appreciate you waiting for me last night. I couldn't have asked for anyone better to be in that room when I got back to the precinct, so thank you a million times over."
She looked so serious, Flack thought she may never smile again, and he didn't like that. "You've been there for me, it is a two way street, Gus, you don't have to thank me."
She rested her head on her hand, "regardless no one else ever has constantly been there for me, and I"... she broke off feeling far too much heat emanating between the two of them. She wonder if Flack felt it too and what to do about it when his phone buzzed.
Flack felt like throwing his phone into her garbage disposal. His mind was still in the bed, wrapped around Gus' body. He wanted to stay there forever, frozen in a perfect moment. "Flack," he groaned.
"Flack," said his Lieutenant, "sorry to bug you, but I wanted to let you know that they need Gus to come in today, apparently that guy she brought down has some interesting connections. I don't know what they are going to do, but come in with her, alright?"
"Sure thing, Loo, when?"
"You can let them wait, I am none to pleased about them pulling her for this crackpot assignment, you two work best together and I didn't get consulted at all, so make them wait. Take her to lunch or something first."
"No problem, see you in a couple of hours then," Flack said pushing the end button, his nostrils flaring and his eyes flaming.
Gus had perked up, "what's going on?"
"Looks like you will get to go in to do your paperwork after all sunshine. Apparently your collar is a bad bad man with connections, they need to go over a game plan with you. But Loo is ticked and it's turning into a turf war so...I think there is going to be some yelling first. I am taking you to lunch first and we will head in after the fireworks have already started."
"That sounds like fun," Gus groaned.
"I need to go home and change, but I want you to come with me, I don't want to leave you alone." He added silently, possibly ever again.
Gus shrugged, "Alright, can I get ready first?"
"No problem," he took his coffee to the living room.
Gus re-showered, pulled her hair into a wet bun and was dressed and made up within twenty minutes. Flack shook his head, "how can you look like such a girl but get ready faster than Danny?"
"Because he's prissy?" she joked.
"Well holy crap, a joke and a smile, come on let's go."
Flack drove over to his place and Gus just stared out the window still feeling frazzled. He let them in yelling, "Bobby, if you're here put clothes on, Gus is with me."
"Gus?" they heard an excited voice yell from upstairs with a flurry of movement and banging. "Told you, grade A crush," Flack teased.
"Whatever, you better get to the shower before he does. I'm just going to sit and watch televison and avoid the demon cat," Gus said curling on the couch and hunting for the remote.
"The demon cat had to be put to sleep, it got into a bad fight. Sam was upset, my allergies weren't." Flack had felt bad that Sam was devastated, but he just couldn't get over his dislike of fur balls.
"I'll be right back down, sit tight," Flack said dimpling and running up the stairs yelling, "Bobby, have to go to work so you're ass better not be in the bathroom,"
He was down in less then fifteen minutes. "Show off," Gus teased. Flack shrugged. "Is that a new tie?" she asked picking it off his chest and trying to figure out what the pattern was.
"Yes, and I don't want any comments," he warned, why did everyone pick on his damn ties?
"Flack, have I ever said one thing about your ties?" she said matter of fact.
Flack thought, "actually no, I think you are the only person to have never teased me about them."
"It's because-and you tell anyone this and I will burn every single one of them-overall, I like your ties. They are kinda your thing." She looked up at him and playfully swatted him with his tie.
Something in her winsome smile made him want to throw her over his shoulder and take her upstairs but...lunch and then a talk with brass. It was going to be a long day.
Chapter 53: Tee Hee
After lunch, where Gus thought she could eat the entire menu, Gus walked into the precinct feeling like she had been away for years instead of days. She also noticed it was eerily quiet as she walked through, no comments from Thatcher or Lafferty, both of whom were at their desks. She headed straight to Loo's office, Flack followed close behind.
Gus knocked on the frame of the door. "Detective Broussard, good to see who, heard you have had an interesting couple of-" he broke of and studied her face, she hadn't bothered to cover the fading bruise, "did you get that in the field?"
Flack and Gus exchanged a glance. "Authenticity," Gus finally said staring at the Lieutenant.
He barely nodded, "Well, you are in high demand Detective Broussard, seems you managed to save some very interesting evidence. Whole team of muckity mucks want to see you in the conference room, least of the all the DA."
"Least of all?"
"Feds."
"Crap," Flack said behind Gus, wondering just what Gus may have stumbled into.
"You better get in there, they have been sweating me for the past hour."
"Great," Gus grumbled.
"Chin up, sunshine," Flack said when she turned to walk out.
As soon as she left the room, Flack pulled the door closed and stood in front of the loo's desk. "What do you know?" he demanded.
"Sit down," Lieutenant Daddino said to Flack, shaking his head.
Flack sat, despite not wanting to.
"Detective Broussard was pulled for an undercover assignment for Special Vics. They had gotten reports that women were being raped at a private shelter and needed someone on the inside. Normally they would have sent one of their own, but Detective Moreno is out on maternity leave and they didn't have any other young females that knew anything about DV that they thought could play the part of a vic. Turns out the shelter was really a brothel in disguise. The doctor that runs it lost his license about 15 years ago, former plastic surgeon did a lot of work on people that didn't want to be recognized, if you get my drift."
Flack felt his stomach turn, he didn't say anything, just sat his jaw working.
"Anyway, this guy sets up this 'escort' service pretty legit to begin with and then not so much. Seems he also does some matchmaking with some high-end lowlifes. I don't know how the feds never caught onto this guy, but they didn't. Between you and me, I think it's because there are probably more than a few people you and I both would recognize on that client list."
Flack felt like he could chip a tooth his jaw was so clenched, "why her, why not someone else?" he growled.
"Coupla reasons, she fit the bill, I mean I don't know if you have noticed but your partner's a knockout, and Hansen only deals in quality. Second she's not from here, so she wouldn't be recognized and wouldn't recognize anyone."
"Is she in danger?" Flack's mind was going a mile and minute on how to protect her depending on what she had seen.
"I wouldn't say so, I think they just want to know what she saw, seems she has the only strong evidence against this guy, seeing as the building blew up."
"The building blew up?"
"You didn't know?"
"No, I was working a case."
"Well, it did. If Broussard didn't see much, she should be fine."
"And if not?"
"She might be looking for a new job somewhere other than New York."
Gus walked into the conference room and almost backed out. There were a hell of a lot of serious looking suits in there and they all seemed to be gunning for her. Wasn't she supposed to be the heroine here, the one who could have gotten raped, sold, or blown up...suddenly things clicked into place. Why there hadn't been a task force, why she had been sent, they knew about the brothel and had been inside, special vics had stumbled on something they shouldn't have.
Gus put a innocent face on and walked in. "Hey y'all," she drawled, let them think she was some dumb southern belle.
"Detective Broussard, please have a seat," the deputy inspector said to her.
"Only if you call me Augusta, we are all friends here right, darling?'" she cooed, she hated herself this moment, but she had to sink or swim and she had a feeling they were hoping she would sink.
The inspector ignored her comment, "we are here to further debrief you on the events you may have witness over the past few days as we are currently trying to figure out who is going to proceed with the case. Agents Montgomery and Walsh are here from the FBI, and I presume you know DA Morgans," he nodded in the direction of the ancient man at the table.
Broussard didn't but she smiled anyway, "good to see you sir, and to meet y'all," she said sitting in a chair, happy to have worn a skirt. Yes, it was wrong and degrading, but sometimes you had to use every last god given asset. She adjusted to show a little more thigh, "I had hoped I was done with this last night," Gus said lowering her head to the side and looking up through her lashes.
"Just a few more questions, Miss Broussard," Morgans smiled at her.
She didn't correct him hoping she could swing the dirty old coot to her side, "well for you, sir," she all but giggled. She deserved to be shot by Gloria Steinem.
"Can you just go over what all you witnessed inside the house over the past three days?"
"As I told the department chief, not a whole lot. I mean it was really a lot of innuendo and gut feeling, I didn't really see much, wasn't allowed to see much..." she trailed off wishing she had kept her hair down to twirl around her finger.
"But you did attend a party?"
"Um, yes, if you could call it that," Gus launched into the story of the party and what she had heard hidden upstairs. She suddenly blurted out, "the tea, was the tea drugged?"
"I'm sorry, what?" one of the agents asked.
"I had a sample of the tea they gave me in my contact lens case in my bag."
"I'm sorry, it must have leaked out."
Gus sat back in her chair. This wasn't right, they really didn't want to do anything about this case. She was torn between her desire to put an asshole away and the desire to keep her job, she knew if she pressed anyone she could be given her walking papers and if she dug too deep she might quickly find herself over her head. "Oh," she sighed.
She thought about what it would be like to testify, about who the doctor may have had connections to, of having to start all over again somewhere else, of leaving New York and her new family and Flack...she shook her head, "as I said I didn't really see anything, or hear anything concrete. I just heard enough to get a warrant and I wanted out before I, um, found myself in a compromising position," she tittered.
"And the flash drive?" Agent Montgomery asked perked up like a beagle, "did you see what was on the flash drive?"
Gus summoned up her best Tri-Delt sorority girl impression, "why sugar, I just didn't think about it, I was trying to get into a locked file cabinet, broke a nail too," she pouted.
The agents exchanged a look and laughed. "Poor thing," Walsh remarked. "Did you recognize anyone you saw why at the house?" the DA asked.
"Sure didn't, of course I don't know that many people in the city. If it was N'awlins I am sure I would have known pret'near everyone," Gus tee-heed at the end, thinking men were too easy. She had encountered this a million times, was never searched at the airport or questioned when others were. No one ever figured she was a threat, and she had learned to use it to her advantage.
"In that case Miss Broussard, I think we are done here," Morgans said.
"We will be in touch if you need to depose you," Agent Montgomery remarked.
"Well I do hope I was able to help, gentlemen," she trilled coquettishly while raising out her chair, chest high, flashing as much skin as decent. She wiggled herself out of the room...
As soon as she exited, with all the men watching her retreating figure, Agent Walsh wolf whistled, "damn, she is grade A southern belle, would have been queen of the land back home in South Carolina."
"You are a horn dog Walsh," Agent Montgomery said and then turned to the Inspector, "you think she knows anything she didn't tell us?"
The inspector shook his head, "no, she's up front. Well liked on the force. Though known for being a bit flighty. Good detective, superior arrest record in homicide."
"No wonder," quipped Walsh, "I would admit to just about anything to have that one cuff me."
The men all laughed, thinking they all agreed. They closed files and discuss where to go for drinks and dinner, happy that the attractive detective would not be a problem.
Chapter 54: Ragin' Cajun
Gus stormed back to homicide feeling like she had put the woman's movement back about 100 years.
"Watch it princess or we might have to start calling you ragin' cajun," Thatcher jested as she came storming in.
She ignored him and went to her desk, Flack was leaning over expectantly, "What's up?" he asked.
"Not here," she said her voice low, sitting down and flipping open the case file she needed to poorly report on.
His eyes darted to her waist band, the shield was still attached to her waist, so she was still employed by the NYPD it seemed. "You need me to make a call, I will," he said looking at her, eyes burning into her.
She realized he meant his father, and was flattered and taken aback. Gus knew Flack tried to separate himself from legacy and legend as much as possible. She smiled slightly, "nah, I think I took care of things on my own, I'll tell you later."
Later getting coffee, Gus felt someone come up close behind her, she figured it was Flack as it was very much in her personal space. She was about to turn and make some comment when "so how much you charge per hour, Broussard?" she heard Lafferty say behind her, too close, right at her neck.
"More than you could afford," she bit back.
"Funny, I heard you were giving it away for free in the department," he said, sliding a hand up her thigh to her waist and then pinning her right hand to her chest. She said nothing but cut back with her left elbow straight to his crotch.
"Bitch" he screamed, grabbing at himself. His scream had attracted attention in their direction.
Gus just looked down at the hunched figure in front of her, "why does no one notice I am left-handed?" she said walking back to her desk turning to the men staring at her before she sat down. "Yes boys, I was UC in a brothel and no I ain't giving discounts. None of y'all could handle me anyway," she smirked sitting down to snicker as Lafferty slunk back to his desk, still hunched.
"Do I need to go kick his ass?" Flack asked.
"Nope, I took care of a much more important part," Gus said flipping a file shut, "I'm leaving, I've had about all I can handle today."
"I bet," Flack said, reaching for his coat, "I'll come with you."
"Fine but I got a stop to make," Gus said, suddenly too exhausted to argue and enjoying Flack's concern.
Gus took off, crossing City Hall Park, headed to the subway. "I could drive, you know," Flack said catching up to her.
"Too good for the subway, now blue eyes?" she said.
"No, I just..."
"I need to not be trapped in a car right now, alright?"
Flack just nodded, trying to keep up with her despite having longer legs. Seated on the subway, Flack said, "wanna talk?"
Gus shook her head, "kind of just need to enjoy an easy silence right now."
Flack tucked her to him, "gotcha" he said, reading her thoughts across her face. She didn't fight him, she needed the familiarity right now and the warmth.
Getting off the train at 6th and 14th, Flack was confused, but Gus had a destination. He could only follow, "where are we going?" he called.
"I gotta see a Jesuit," she called over her shoulder, "be right back."
Flack halted when he saw the steps she had run up. An imposing Baroque structure rose before him, "no wonder my mother loves her," Flack muttered before heaving open the wooden door of the church.
Gus was already up front, knelt and lighting a candle. Flack felt a wave of childhood guilt wash over him as he tried his damnedest to not think impure thoughts about his partner in a church, but the way her skirt hugged her...he gave up, turned around and went back outside thankful it was a cold night.
Gus was out a few minutes later. Flack said, "you know there are churches way closer to the precinct".
Gus shrugged, "this is my parish."
"Your parish?" he looked down at her with a million questions.
"I like the Jesuits," she said as if that was an answer.
"Huh?" Flack somehow could not form the questions he wanted to ask.
"Flack where did you think I went every Sunday morning the entire summer?"
"Figured you needed some alone time," he stuck his hands in his pockets.
"In a manner of speaking," she said looping her arm through his, "now I need some carbs, you up for Italian? Or you got other plans?"
"No other plans, other than to hear what happened with you," Flack walked along side her enjoying her holding on to him.
"Good, but I'm picking."
"Fine, but I'm not going to some frou frou place even though you are fancy in your skirt."
Gus smirked, so he had noticed. "No problem, I was thinking more LaMarca's than Via's."
"Well in that case I'll buy."
"Cheapskate," she smiled up at him.
"You ain't saying no," Flack teased her and playfully tweaked her cheek.
"I'm a smart girl," Gus shrugged.
He laughed, dimpling and Gus had to stop herself from swooning. "So how's Jesus?"
"Still hanging," she dead panned. Flack dropped her arm and jumped away "What?" she mocked.
"Just waiting for the lightning," Flack said studying the sky intently.
"So you are still a catholic boy at heart!" she patted him on the chest and walked away.
"It was Mary anyhow, I figured I had to light a candle for all womankind after my conference room performance," she called not turning back.
"What did you have to do?" Flack was a little concerned, he caught up to her and turned her towards him.
"Just a poor little ol' me southern belle routine. Luckily the dogs bought it."
Flack thought back to his conversation with the loo. "What happened in there? You didn't even tell me the building blew up!" he demanded, realizing he was hurt and angry she hadn't told him what happened inside.
"Well I wasn't in it when it blew up, I didn't think..." what didn't she think, "I didn't want to worry you, Flack," she looked up at him her eyes as deep as a forest.
"It's pretty simple sunshine, you were in there and I wasn't, worried is only the beginning," Flack said staring down at her, feeling like he wanted to get lost in her eyes.
Gus felt her heart leap at the change in his blue eyes, but held on to whatever had been keeping her from falling for the past year. She shoved her hands in her pockets staring down at the sidewalk, breaking the connection between them.
Flack caught her chin and brought it back up, forcing her to look at him, "what did you see in there?" he demanded.
"Not anything that will get me into trouble," she answered knowing what he meant, knowing he had figured things out for himself, "more than the DA or feds know I saw, but they won't ever find that out. It was mostly just supposition anyway." Gus chewed on her lip.
"Supposition that could have gotten you raped or blown up," Flack angrily stated. He tried to figure out what had him so pissed off, other than he couldn't imagine his life without her and she had come close to being killed or shipped off out of state.
"Flack, I am a cop like you, remember, I'm not a fluffy psychologist anymore, anything could happen to me any day. Just like it could to you!" Gus snapped back.
She was already loathing herself for acting like a fragile bubble head with the DA and she wasn't about to let Flack start thinking that about her.
Flack stared down at her, his eyes penetrating, his brow furrowed.
Gus rubbed at her face, "listen, I handled it. From start to finish. And I'll quit before I do another UC job without you, I can't handle it. I'm not James Bond and I get that I need you for back up. Clearly, I get that. But there are still risks for both of us out there. It's the job, remember."
Flack let out a slow stream of air, "yeah, I know. Just-" he stopped studying her, "whatever you saw in there-"
Gus cut him off, "I didn't see anything that can be used, okay? It was all gut feeling, I can't testify on gut feeling."
"I just don't want you to have to lie on the stand."
"I wouldn't," Gus said her face set.
Flack considered this for a moment, he wouldn't either how could he ask he to, "But..."
"I won't have to, I cut them off at the pass. I'm not stupid, Flack, I've seen this same kind of crap before. Powerful men have ways of making things and people disappear, so maybe I played into their hands. And you can hate me for that, I hate myself already."
Flack went to reach out for her, but Gus shook him off. "I played their game because I had a lot to lose, and I wasn't prepared to lose it. I hope you don't think less of me." Gus could feel her heart pounding, her cheeks reddening and her eyes start to burn.
Flack couldn't handle her beating herself up anymore than he could handle thinking about what could have happened and what it would be like to not have her around, he drew her to his chest before she could argue and held her tight, "dammit Gus, I can't think less of you," he said to the top of her head, adding silently because I love you. "You did what you had to do, and I know if you didn't think it was the right thing, you wouldn't have done it."
Gus could feel the last holds of whatever held her back fraying, thinking I didn't do it because it was right, I did it because I want to stay here with you. "Good can we go eat then instead of hugging out here on the street like a couple of buffoons," she quipped into his chest, "because I am starving."
Chapter 55: Drink Plenty of Water
Flack laughed, rolled his eyes and let her go, "fine, I know how cranky you can get when you haven't been fed enough."
"I like food, there is nothing wrong with that, it's not like I am fatty or anything," Gus retorted indignantly smoothing her clothing.
"Nope definitely not a fatty," he quipped, admiringly.
Gus rolled her eyes, "this is why I don't wear skirts, makes all you boys either brain dead or handsy."
"Speaking of handsy, can I cut off one of Lafferty's?" Flack asked opening the door to the restaurant for her.
"Nah, I think I got him for now. I did rack him pretty good," Gus said, cocking her elbow back and stepping though the doorway.
"Watch it there, killer, I know you're a lefty, we have to stick together after all," he said motioning 'two' to the hostess and ducking out of the path of her elbow.
"You shoot right," Gus replied.
"I can shoot either," he said sliding into a chair, looking intently at her, "same as you."
Gus suddenly felt naked, what didn't this man know about her? And why wasn't it scaring her as much as it used to?
They ate huge delicious dishes of pasta catching up on Flack's case without her, and laughing at the antics of the team and also just sitting in companionable silence.
"Don't be thinking too hard, sunshine, it's hard to get into your head," Flack stated after an exceptionally long stretch of quiet.
"I'm not, I'm actually feeling somewhat relaxed, must be a carb coma," she sat patting her stomach.
"Well let me get you home before you pass out," he said, laying out cash for the bill and reaching for his coat.
"It's a whole block, Flack I think I can handle it," she said shrugging into her coat.
"Stop being stubborn," he said lightheartedly.
"Fine," Gus sighed, taking off ahead of him.
In front of her place, Mrs. Potter was washing the glass on the door. The older woman rapped on the glass, waved at them and then frowned at the smudge she had left.
Flack laughed, "you live in an old folks home!"
"At least they're harmless," Gus laughed back, "you want to come up, I think the Ranger's game is on?" Gus said gesturing.
"I'm good, thanks though, I have to go get the car since someone decided to drag me all over the city by train and foot," he lightly pushed her shoulder.
"Crap, sorry, I forgot about that."
"No problem. You going to be fine alone tonight?" Flack looked at her with concern. "I think I can take Mrs. Potter without a problem," Gus smirked.
"Not what I meant, sunshine," he said tucking a stand of hair behind her ear and lightly nudging her on the chin.
"I know, I'll be fine. I'll call you if I get freaked out."
"Fine, sleep tight then," Flack said with a kiss to her cheek, wishing she would have asked him to come back, knowing that she wouldn't though. Flack hated that last night may have been a unique event, wanting nothing more than to crawl into bed beside Gus and hold her. He willed himself to not turn around to look back at her, knowing if he did he would be on her in a second. He couldn't push her, that much he had figured out.
Gus let herself in, being careful to not undo Mrs. Potter's hard work. She let herself into her apartment, the silence crashing over her. Why had she told him she would be fine, she wasn't fine. And she wasn't going to be fine. She had omitted a bunch on information from an investigation and felt like she had betrayed her badge. She knew she did it for self preservation but still...more than anything she wanted Flack there to just hold her again like he had last night. Knowing that wasn't a possibility she headed over to her bar, pouring herself a stiff drink and throwing it back. She followed it with another and went to go change into comfortable clothes.
She was interrupted during her third drink by her phone, she glanced down, Mac.
"Augusta, why was I not informed by you that the DA and the FBI were in on your debriefing? I would like to come by."
"Mac, Mac calm down it's nothing it's-" Gus heard a knock, "you're already here aren't you?" she said, pouring a drink for Mac and heading to open the door. He stood, imposing and quiet as always. Gus gestured for him to come in and pointed at the drink. She headed to the couch, bottle in hand, "I am fine, you didn't have to come."
"You are family, Gus, even if you forget that sometimes," Mac said wearily following her. "I don't forget that, Mac. I, it's been a long week, alright?" she felt herself getting irksome.
Mac wasn't going to let her cut herself off, "what happened to you, I didn't even know you were going undercover."
"Either did I until the day of," Gus retorted, crossing her arms in front of her chest.
"It's unacceptable," he said, his voice icy, this wasn't protocol at all.
"Preaching to the choir, but what can you do?" Gus shrugged.
"I will talk to someone tomorrow," clearly he had to put a stop to this, Gus would never say no, believing it was her duty, her cause.
"You don't have to intervene on my behalf Mac, save your chips," she sighed, taking a swallow.
"What happened?" he asked again, knowing something had.
"Not much, went to investigate for special vics turned into something else, now I think it is a case for the feds," Gus shrugged.
Mac studied her, "a building was destroyed. I have reason to believe you are leaving some pertinent details out."
"Nothing you need to worry about, the only evidence I had for the lab didn't make it."
Mac looked quizzical, that was interesting, "are you in any trouble, Gussie?"
"No Mac, I'm not. It was nothing for me really. Except it ensured me that I do much better with homicide."
"Since when does nothing have you make such a dent into a bottle of whiskey?" Mac said pointing at the bottle.
"It just, I wasn't particularly proud of what I was and wasn't able to do on this case, I know you can understand that Mac, you have cases from 10 years ago on your desk."
"Yes, but I try to solve them not forget them."
"Forgetting is the only thing I can do with this one, alright?" Gus leaned back and closed her eyes, "please don't go all dad on me Mac, I'm an adult," she said her eyes still closed.
"I know," Mac sighed and rubbed his face, she was shutting him out. "You want someone to stay with you?" he asked.
Not you, Gus thought. "I'm good," she said.
"I'll let you get back to your night then, just remember to drink plenty of water tomorrow."
"Rock on," Gus said, pouring another, "night, Mac."
Mac let himself out and as soon as he was on the street he dialed a number.
"Flack," came the voice on the other end.
"Take care of my niece, she's shutting me out," Mac replied.
Flack laughed, "I know that feeling, I'll do what I can."
"Drop by tonight or tomorrow and make sure she doesn't give herself alcohol poisoning. Hopefully she'll open up to you."
"I'll do my best, Mac," Flack said to a dead line. Flack turned the car around and headed back to Gramercy Park, if the boss asks you have to do it, right?
Flack knocked on Gus' door, hearing "Jesus Hopscotching Christ Uncle Mac, I told you I was fine," and then a crash and "dammit!" Gus said opening the door and hopping on one leg.
"Hopscotching?" Flack said bemusedly from the doorway.
"He sent you didn't he, because I wouldn't talk to him?" Flack nodded. "You didn't mention that we had dinner did you?" Flack shook his head. "You both suck," she said studying the welt forming on her shin from where she had whacked into the coffee table corner.
"I just came to rescue your liver," Flack said gesturing at the bottle.
"I'm still a New Orleans gal, Flack," Gus said pouring him a drink.
"I know, but how can I say no to Mac?" Flack remarked sipping the drink, it was almost pure whiskey.
Gus smirked at the face he made, "soda's in the fridge, help yourself, wimp," Gus said turning back to the playstation console leaning against the sofa, figuring while she couldn't be Bond in real life she made a pretty good one for pretend.
"Nice choice," Flack snorted climbing onto the couch behind her.
"I deal in irony," Gus said shrugging, trying to beat the gaggle of bad guys on the screen in front of her, "dammit, die you assholes," she said, her character dying again.
"Lemme!" Flack said grabbing for the controller.
"You think you can just come in here and grab at anything you want?" Gus said holding it close to her chest.
Flack flushed, Gus realized what she said. She flushed back, looking up at him behind her, there was that heat again, this time fueled on her part by too much alcohol. She turned over and felt a buzzing in her ears. He didn't say anything, didn't move, didn't breathe. Gus was overcome with the desire to kiss him, she started to move in to and was both crushed and shocked when he turned his head away.
She snapped back, throwing the controller at him. "Fine, there you go, play away. I'm going to bed." Gus ran to her bedroom and locked the door behind her. She leaned against the door, breathing hard. Crap, crap, crap, she muttered to herself.
Crap, crap, crap, Flack said to himself confused at why he had turned his head. He looked at the controller in his lap that Gus had hurled at him. He started to get up to go after her, but sat back down. What was going on with him, with her, with them? He needed to clear his head and being James Bond for a little bit seemed as good a way to do it as any...
Gus slid down the door, feeling like an idiot. She had felt something between them the past day, hell the past forever it seemed. How many times had he kissed her? But the one time she tried with him, he turned away. Maybe he had to be the alpha, maybe he decided that partnership was the only thing that could be between them. Gus felt a tear escape from the corner of her eye, she furiously wiped it away. She cocked her head, she could hear the sounds of the game in the living room. She debating going back out, but realized she had no idea what to say to him or how to not sound like an idiot.
She curled up in her bed, still unmade from when they left it...Gus couldn't believe it had only been that afternoon. She spied Flacks t-shirt in the covers, she pulled it to her face, inhaling. Gus curled into a ball and silently cried herself to sleep listening to her iPod.
Flack played the game for about an hour and then went and knocked lightly on Gus' door. No answer, he turned the knob, locked. His head hadn't cleared much, he still didn't know why he had turned his head except that he didn't want her giving in because of too much Southern Comfort and that he was still wounded fromthe times she pulled away. He knew that wasn't a good reason, but it was his only reason. He left her a note and headed home.