Phantom silently skulked as Fenton and his friends waited in front of their chosen restaurants at the food court. He'd grabbed a table and sat crossed armed while trying to ignore the daggers Wes was still sending him and Fenton. He sighed, putting his head in his hands. Maybe going to the mall dressed as a normal, human teenager hadn't been the best idea. It would be just his luck one of his classmates would see through the disguise, if just partially. At least, Wes hadn't accused him of being a ghost, just well...his own twin brother.
In front of him, a chair scraped across the tile floor. "Still skulking?"
At Sam's questioning voice, the boy popped his head up. He fought to suppress a groan. "He's still staring at me like I have two heads."
Tucker walked up from behind, plopping down his tray and taking a seat beside Sam. "Well if you wanna be technical…." The boy motioned with his head towards a certain black-haired figure who was still waiting in line.
His eyes trailing his human self's back, the ghost paled. "Tuck. Please never imply that again."
The technogeek shrugged. "But you're both Danny so-"
Phantom cut him off. "Tucker."
"There's two of everything." The barrett-wearing boy finished with a grin, drawing out the last word. Both Sam and Phantom face palmed.
It was then Fenton walked up with his tray. He raised an eyebrow. "What's going on here?"
The ghost didn't bother to uncover his face. "Tucker's talking about our anatomy." He carefully emphasized the last word and Fenton turned beet-red, eyes widening.
Tucker sputtered, blushing. "That's not...I wasn't implying that." His head tilted, voice raising at the last word. "although-"
"Can we talk about something else?" Sam barked out, looking mortified.
"Yeah." Fenton took a seat beside Phantom before his eye drifted to something on the other side of the food court. "Wes is still glaring at us?"
Phantom nodded. "Yep."
Tucker and Sam both turned around, glancing at the basketball player. Tucker snickered. "Look at his face."
Sam shook her head. "I can't believe he thought you two were twins."
"Yeah." Tucker laughed. "It's not like you guys look anything alike."
Sam's eyes twinkled, her lips turning up. "Come on. There's barely a family resemblance."
Phantom looked between his friends disbelievingly, Fenton mirroring the expression. Noticing, Tucker wiped a fake tear and his laughter quieted. "You have to at least try and laugh at this. I mean, did you see his face when he walked up to us?"
The ghost thought back, picturing Wes's bewildered face. Slowly, he cracked a smile. "He did look kinda funny."
"Kinda? He looked like he thought he was going crazy!" Tucker exclaimed.
"And I'm sorry but...your reactions…." Sam shook her head, smiling teasingly. "Not suspicious at all."
"Yeah." The ghost boy rubbed the back of his neck. "That wasn't my best reaction…."
In all honesty, the blushing and stuttering had been horribly embarrassing and stressful. But in hindsight….
"Hey, at least you thought of something to say." Tucker added with a shrug.
"I'm surprised you didn't end up blurting out that you're 'not a ghost.'" Sam said putting the last words in air quotes.
The ghost opened his mouth in only partly faux offense. "Really?! I won't say something that dumb."
The girl crossed her arms, doing an impression of his voice. "We're definitely not secretly the same person." She quietly hissed out the last word.
Phantom blushed. "Hey! I didn't say that."
"Only 'cause Sam stopped you." Tucker said, almost laughing again. He looked between the two versions of his friend. "But seriously, this whole thing was worth it just for Wes's reaction."
"And Kwan's." Sam cracked a smile. "His reaction when Wes said you were glowing…." She wiggled her eyebrows and started laughing.
"And Wes turned as red as a lobster." Tucker added with a snort. "I hope the other A listers never let him live it down."
By that point, both friends were laughing in earnest at the ridiculous situation they'd just endured. Earlier, Phantom might have prickled at them laughing at his embarrassment. But now…. Phantom couldn't stop the laughter in response.
That is, until sudden anxiety raced up his spine and his mouth snapped shut. He turned towards Fenton who remained silent, almost tangible worry wafting off of him. The human boy had his fists clenched around his utensils, eyes focused on his plate.
Then Fenton looked up, glaring at his friends. "This isn't funny. Wes might still work it out." He put down his fork and crossed his arms. "Or heckle us until he weeds out the truth."
Sam shook her head, waving his concern off. "Wes will probably forget about this before Friday. He's not going to mess with you, Danny. "
"And if he does…." Tucker grinned mischievously. "You have ghost powers." The three other teens all turned to the technogeek with raised eyebrows, causing the boy to put up his hands innocently. "I mean, between there being two of you and your powers…" His grinned widened. "You can dish out so much chaos if he starts being a little shit."
Phantom leaned back, a small smile spreading across his face despite mixed emotions. He glanced at Fenton. "He does have a point."
Fenton tensed, avoiding his eyes. "We'll see…"
The ghost wasn't exactly sure what to make of the subdued reaction but then again...it made sense. The thought of using his abilities to mess with someone like Wes, to even get revenge on his bullies was tempting. Before he'd been powerless, too afraid of Dash or his cronies reciprocating or getting in trouble with teachers, to fight back. But now….he could literally turn invisible and walk through walls; he could do pretty much anything and not get caught. He frowned; that was not a thought he should feed into.
Sam clearly noticed Phantom's change in mood. She pushed her carton for fries towards him. "Do you want some?"
"No thanks." The ghost shook his head.
At the same time, Fenton remained silent, picking at his food. Sam and Tucker looked between each other, clearly concerned at the closed off reaction.
Tucker coughed. "Danny, we've got your back no matter what happens. You know that, right?"
The human Danny swallowed, looking up again. "Yeah." But this time, he wasn't meeting Sam and Tucker's eyes either.
Again, there was a silent stand-off. Fenton stirred his cartoon of chinese food. Tucker frowned at the human, concerned. And Sam, Sam was glaring at Phantom as if challenging him to speak. As if the ghost was the half she could more easily get answers from. But said ghost frowned, his stomach flopping as he watched Fenton. Confusion marred his face. He didn't get it, didn't understand what was going on with his human half. What was the boy thinking? Why was he closing himself off again, to his friends, to even himself? Fear crept through the ghost's core. Why was he having so much trouble knowing what was going on inside his own mind?
"You guys should eat before your food gets cold." Fenton broke the silence.
That provoked Sam and Tucker to look down at their dinners. Frown falling farther, Tucker picked up his sub. But a moment later, Sam was glaring at the two Dannys again with crossed arms until her eyes met Phantom's. She must have seen something- maybe his confusion, his fear- because her eyes softened. Looking resigned, she started on her own food.
They ate in silence for a few minutes. Or well, the humans ate. The ghost sat, trying not to wring his hands, trying not to look awkward. Oh, who was he kidding? He felt awkward, of course he looked awkward. He felt so out of place, again. Why was he always feeling like this?
A tingling sensation suddenly spread from his fingertips, up his arms. Glancing down, the boy barely suppressed a startled yelp. His fingers had disappeared, the invisibility slowly spreading. He hadn't slipped like this since before the ghost catcher. With wide-eyes, he forced his hands under the table and focused on stopping the powers. He couldn't do this, not here, not now. He needed to look normal, like the human teen he was pretending to be. He needed to be visible, to be seen. But oh, oh. He didn't want to be seen. Not at all, It took all his willpower to not turn invisible completely and just fly away. But he couldn't do that. He couldn't leave his friends who'd been so excited about spending time with him, who were trying so hard to make him feel loved and accepted. Like he was still himself, still their friends Danny despite being a freaking ghost and split in half. Why did he even-
"Dude are you okay?" Tucker asked. And suddenly, Phantom was back at the table, not in his panicked thoughts.
"I'm fine." Came the dual answer.
Phantom looked over at his human self. The boy's hands were shaking slightly, his face uncharacteristically hard.
Tucker frowned. "We can go back to your house if you want. We don't have to stay if you're not having a good time."
Just like that, the tingling in the ghost boy's hands stopped. He placed his now visible hands on the table. "No, it's fine. Let's stay."
Fenton nodded. "Yeah. You guys were having so much fun. We can't leave yet."
"Danny?" Sam raised a brow, challengingly.
"I wanna stay." It was said forcefully, in perfectly sync, as one. Fenton and Phantom both looked up, both pairs of eyes focused on their friends before both slumped back with crossed arms.
Sam and Tucker blinked at the pair for a few seconds before the weird harmony ended. Phantom uncrossed his arms, shifting awkwardly in his chair while Fenton stayed still. The ghost frowned. At least he and Fenton could agree on this, even if they were way out of sync on pretty much everything else.
"Okay." Their goth friend raised a brow skeptically. "We'll stay if you're sure."
Out the corner of his eye, Phantom could see Fenton glaring at her with little heat….until the human noticed him looking and looked down.
Phantom swallowed. "We're sure." He wasn't sure, actually. Wasn't even sure he could still speak for both of them. But if he could just keep acting like things were normal, like he was okay….
Tucker looked between the two Dannys and Sam. "I'm done eating. Do you guys wanna go to F.Y.E?"
"Yeah. And Hot Topic?" Sam asked.
The technogeek rolled his eyes. "Sure we can go to Hot Topic."
"Sounds good to me." Phantom said.
"Yeah. Let's go." Fenton stood up and grabbed his tray. He walked to the trash can and threw away his empty food carton.
Sam and Tucker did the same and the group walked off, towards the entertainment store.
The teens browsed the passing shop windows, equal parts admiring and making fun of the clothes and other contents behind. They walked into F.Y.E, the entertainment store brimming with blue-rays, cds, vinyls and tv and movie merchandise. So many things to look at, to ohh and ahh over with his friends. And Phantom would have enjoyed it….if Fenton would look at him.
The disguised ghost stood with Sam, looking over t-shirt designs. The girl pointed to one shirt near the top. "Oo. I like that one." It was black of course, with a character Phantom vaguely recognized from an anime he'd watched with her.
"That one's cool too." He motioned in front of him, to a shirt with a quote from a popular movie.
From behind them, Tucker's voice and occasionally Fenton's drifted across the store. Phantom could barely make out their words. They were browsing the bluetooth headphones, the area Tucker always headed to first.
Soon after coming into the store, Phantom noticed it. Almost unconsciously their group had split in half. And it stayed that way, even as both pairs ended up browsing the blue-rays. Fenton stayed on the other end of the aisle or a row over. Phantom passed him to go to the cds and the human didn't acknowledge him, instead keeping his head down and his hands in his pockets. The ghost caught just a glimpse of his frown. There was a spike of guilt and anxiety from the boy and then Fenton turned his attention back to looking through the stacks of music. And Phantom bit his lip. This avoidance, this tension might just kill him if he wasn't dead already.
Sam was pulling him out of the store, after Tucker and his human half. They walked into Hot Topic and the dim lights, crowded rows, and loud music just increased his anxiety and darkened his mood. The ghost boy browsed the merchandise. He glanced at his human self out the corner of his eye. The boy was skulking in the corner with his arms crossed. With the deep scowl on his face, Fenton would have looked more goth than Phantom, were it not for his more brightly colored clothing. The ghost turned away, ignoring the turbulent emotions the scene sent through him.
More browsing. T-shirts, tank tops, jeans, legging. Bags, hats, socks, jewelry, pins and patches. So much gothic and pop culture stuff. Most of the store contained things he'd never want to wear. But some of the galaxy print stuff was cool.
Sam was standing in front of a display, an almost wicked grin on her face. "I think you need some goth accessories."
Phantom shook his head. "No. I don't."
The girl blinked at him, an almost pleading look on her face. After a brief silent stare down, the ghost rolled his eyes. "Fine. I'll look." He walked forward anyway, deciding to indulge her.
His goth friend smiled again, pointing. "Look they have galaxy print plugs. If you got your ear pierced…" She wiggled her eyebrows.
Phantom gave her a deadpan look. "Seriously?"
"I'm kidding, obviously." She then grinned, teasingly. "But they would look really good on you."
The ghost crossed his arms, trying to look annoyed despite a hint of fondness in his eyes from the teasing. "Sam." He said pointedly.
"Okay." The girl gave in. "I was really thinking about these bracelets, this choker, and some pins for your jacket."
Tilting his head, the boy studied the accessories Sam was pointing at. His nose wrinkled. "No chokers. And I don't wear bracelets."
"But you'll love these!" Sam pulled the bracelets off the display and handed it to him. "The one with the cord has the NASA emblem. And this one has a charm of the space shuttle."
Phantom held the jewelry up to his face. "Are those beads supposed to be the planets?" His face lit up. "Yeah, that one's earth. And this one's Mars. Oh, they even put a ring around Saturn."
"You like it, don't you?" Sam said knowingly.
Realizing the excitement he'd shown in the past statement...and he actually liked something Sam picked out, the boy huffed. "Yeah. I do actually."
"Yes!" Sam pumped her fist. "They have a tone of pins too. This one's from Star Trek. There's a bunch of superhero ones. Oh, this little dragon's cute." The girl grinned, her eyes falling on one particular pin. "It's a cat with a knife!" She was so enthusiastic, it was almost infectious. The ghost boy could feel a smile creeping back onto his face, in response to his friend's glee. But he never got a chance to respond.
"Danny!" At Tucker calling their name, both the ghost boy and his human counterpart turned to look at him. "Check it out!"
The technogeek was grinning proudly, holding up a white hoodie with bluish-purple galaxy print sleeves and hood. The front read Comet me Boo with a little cartoon ghost floating above the pocket.
The ghost boy tilted his head. It wasn't that bad (he did love space and puns). But Fenton clearly felt very different. The boy narrowed his eyes, glaring. He wrinkled his nose in disgust before his expression turned neutral. He deadpanned. "Over my dead body."
Tucker gave a questioning look before grinning. "If you say so." He threw the hoodie at Phantom.
The ghost boy gaped, staring at the garment in his hands as Tucker started laughing. His brow furrowed. His friend was laughing. He was laughing. But...what was the joke? He blinked at the technogeek, questioningly.
"What? It's funny." Tucker wiped eyes which were watering from mirth. "He said over my…. And you're…." He motioned up and down the ghost's body.
Phantom paled, realization hitting him. Dread balled in his gut. At the same time, Fenton's shoulders rose. Tension, almost physical, cut through the store. Over my dead body….. The emotional tidal wave washed over the ghost. Dread, anxiety, fear. Overwhelming, dark, and now far too familiar emotions. But most startlingly, there was a gut wrenching punch of anger, sudden sharp anger.
"That wasn't funny." Fenton glared at Tucker, voice sharp.
The technogeek held up his hands, suddenly looking bashful. "Sorry dude."
The human growled. "Phantom's not…I'm not...That's not what I meant."
"Danny?" Sam questioned.
"I'm..I'm not dead." Fenton's voice was suddenly low, eyes fixed on the floor.
Phantom remained frozen, watching Fenton, watching himself on the edge of a meltdown. His core was pulsing rapidly in his chest, his breath quickening though he didn't have to breath. Dread continued to mount.
Tucker paled, glancing between the two Dannys. "I am so sorry. I should not have joked about that."
Fenton shook his head, his gaze flickering up. "Ya think?!"
"Danny?" Sam said, a hint of anger rising in her voice.
If anything the reaction pushed Fenton onward. "How could you joke about that Tucker?!" The boy gritted his teeth. "You know, you know what happened to me."
"I didn't mean to upset you, dude. I know this is serious." The technogeek looked down guiltily.
"Didn't mean to!" Fenton's voice rose and with it his anger. The emotion almost wrapped around Phantom, digging into his core. The ghost narrowed his eyes. Maybe his emotions were harmonizing with his other half's so both felt the same. Maybe it was days of frustration- with his situation, with his parents' reactions, with himself- finally mounting. But something in Phantom snapped.
"You were joking about Phantom being my-" Fenton's hissed words were cut off by a surprised cry as cold hands suddenly wrapped tightly around his arm.
Phantom glared at his human and without a word, he intangibly pulled both of them through the fitting room door into a luckily empty room. The ghost hissed in his counterpart's face. "What is wrong with you?!"
Fenton roughly pulled his arm out of Phantom's hand and stumbled back. "Don't do that." He growled.
"Well, don't yell at our friends like that!" The ghost held up his hands.
The human gritted his teeth. "Tucker...he was joking about-"
"I know what he said! I was there. But you cannot just yell at him in public."
"But-" Fenton's fists balled.
"No! Sam and Tucker have been the best damn friends we could ask for. They didn't ask to deal with...this." The ghost boy waved around vaguely. "But they are. And I'm not putting up with you being a jackass to them!"
Instantly, Fenton paled. His anger visibly evaporated as his shoulders fell. He looked down, blushing in obvious shame. "Sorry." He muttered.
Phantom calmed at the reaction. He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "It's...well it's not okay. But we'll work on making sure it doesn't happen again?"
Fenton said nothing, somehow looking even more closed off. It was disconcerting; somehow the anger was less worrying than whatever this was. Face softened, Phantom took a step forward and gently put his hand on his other half's arm again. There was a sharp, almost painful surge of guilt, shame, and anxiety. But then the human stiffened and pulled away again. The boy wrapped his arms around himself and stood with his back pressed against that wall.
Earlier, the reaction would have stabbed Phantom's core painfully. Now...well, it still hurt but having just come off his anger, adrenaline (or whatever the ghostly equivalent was) was still running rampant. Frustration flared and Phantom's more understanding facial expression disappeared.
"Fenton. Look at me." The ghost demanded.
No response came.
Phantom crossed his arms, frowning deepening. "So you're back to refusing to look at me?"
Fenton's head remained fixed down, his posture somehow becoming even more tense.
"And now you're giving me the silent treatment." The ghost's expression hardened as he glared at the human. The other boy squirmed awkwardly under his gaze; his eyes flickered up briefly but not far enough to reach Phantom's face.
"You know," Phantom started, severe exacerbation in his voice. "I can't tell what's going on in the thick skull of yours." He gritted his teeth. "You have to freaking talk to me if we're going to deal with whatever the hell this is."
Fenton continued to stand there, physically and even mentally closed off. Phantom didn't know how he could tell but somehow the human was blocking his emotions from being communicated to his ghost. The ghost boy mentally reached out but seemed to hit some kind of barrier. That finally did him in.
"Whatever." Phantom put hands up as he was being flippant. His tone was anything but. "Whatever. I'm done. I'm having a crap time because of you. This could have been fun but you're making this unbearable. I'm going home." His voice was tight, cold, almost seething. He stalked forward, his fists balled. "Whenever you're done pouting or whatever the hell this is, let me know so we can talk and actually deal with our shit."
The ghost hovered for a moment, half-hoping for an actual reaction. Fenton just twitched under the gaze. Without another word, Phantom floated up and phased through the ceiling.
For several minutes, Fenton stood in the Hot Topic fitting room, with his back still pressed up against the wall. His stomach churned. His heart fluttered anxiously. He couldn't seem to rid himself of the tension paralyzing his body. And he couldn't sort out his warring emotions. Anger still prickled at his heart. He'd just been chewed out by Phantom, by himself. It was deserved at least particularly. He shouldn't have yelled at Tucker, especially not in public. He scoffed. He'd done it in the middle of Hot Topic, no less, like he was some emo teenage delinquent…...Maybe that was sadly accurate. Embarrassment flared at that thought and he blushed. Oh no. Please, please. He'd died (again) if someone at school had heard any of that and rumors started. What happened with Wes was bad enough, but then he just had to make a scene because he couldn't control his own damn emotions…..And then came the shame again worse than the potential embarrassment. Though he still prickled, angry at his ghost, his other half was right. Sam and Tucker have been great and he was just a jerk to them.
Just then a knock sounded at the door. "Danny?" Came Sam's voice.
"Dude? Are you okay?" Tucker asked.
Another spike of guilt. He literally just yelled at those two and now they were checking on him, asking if he was okay? His heart sank. He really should respond, stop worrying them. But the boy couldn't seem to muster a reply.
"Danny?" Sam asked again. Her voice quieted. "At least say something so we know you guys didn't fly off."
They hadn't….well, half of them hadn't. Fenton balled his fists. Phantom had just flown off. He'd ditched them. The human's shoulder's rose, remembering that cold angry tone, how Phantom had glared at him.
"Alright." Tucker sighed. "I'm trying the door. Say something if you're in there."
Seconds later, the door rattled open and a concerned-looking Sam and Tucker stood in the doorway. Their eyes instantly feel on the human Danny. Then both surveyed the room as if looking for something...or someone.
"Where's the other Danny?" Tucker finally asked.
Fenton pushed himself off the wall. With his arms still crossed, he couldn't keep the edge out of his voice. "He went home. Said he was having a crap time."
"Really?" Sam said, her eyes wide with disappointment.
Tucker's expression fell, guilt clear on his face. "I'm so sorry man about what I said earlier." The boy apologized, obviously assuming he was the reason Phantom left. That wasn't the case (a weird mixture of guilt and anger prickled at that thought….because it was Fenton's fault) but the guilty expression made Fenton's face soften.
"It's fine Tucker. I...I should be the one apologizing. I'm sorry I yelled at you." Fenton looked down.
"No." Tucker shook his head. "I should have known better than to joke about that, especially with some of the stuff other you told us."
The human Danny looked up, blinking confusedly at his friend. "What?"
Sam frowned, biting her lip. "On Saturday. Phantom told us some stuff about how you feel about... the accident."
Tucker looked down guilty. "I should have known death jokes were off the table after he told us...that."
Fenton's face remained blank, showing no recognition of the conversation.
Sam tilted her head. "You didn't know?"
"No." Fenton crossed his arm, annoyance prickling again. "He didn't tell me."
Sam and Tucker looked between each other. Then Tucker blushed sheepishly. "I guess I keep forgetting you don't automatically know what the other one does."
Fenton looked at the two skeptically but didn't say anything.
Sam raised a brow but changed the subject. "You said Phantom went home. Do you want to head back too?"
"Not really." Fenton huffed. He did not like the idea of seeing Phantom yet, not after what just happened.
Sam's concerned expression deepened. "Are you okay?"
Obviously his displeasure at his ghost half was too plain on his face. The boy tried to school his expression. "I'm fine."
Tucker and Sam looked between each other again before both stepped inside the room and closed the door. What were they doing? Fenton had to resist the urge to bite his lip nervously.
"Fenton." Sam asked seriously. "Is everything okay between you and Phantom?"
Fenton swallowed, suddenly nervous about being called that name by Sam. "We're fine."
Tucker raised a brow skeptically. "Really?"
"Yes." A hint of annoyance bled into his voice. "I'm fine. Phantom's fine. We're fine."
"Danny man, that's-" Tucker started.
But Fenton cut him off. "Can we just go guys? Everything's okay." He walked towards the door, intent on leaving but his friends were blocking the door. "Come on guys. I'm fine, really?" More annoyance and a hint of desperation entered his tone.
Annoyance also entered Sam's voice. "You can talk to us about this."
"Sam, it's-" The human Danny shook his head.
"We've talked about this!" Sam put up her hands. "You don't have to block us out."
"We just want to help." Tucker added.
"I don't need help. I'm fine." Fenton argued.
"No you're not." Sam raised her voice. "You're clearly not fine. So stop saying you're fine!"
"I'm fine!" The human Danny finally yelled. "I have to be!" Just like that the angry look on Sam's face evaporated. "I have to be fine, okay! I have to be!" More words were already pouring out of Fenton, as if the floodgates finally opened and nothing could hold back the torrent. "I mean, Mom and Dad are freaking out. They have no idea what's happening. None. They're trying to hide it but they're freaked out. Mom won't even say that I'm a ghost for crying out loud." The boy held up his hands. "It's a miracle you and Tucker and Jazz aren't spazzing over this. I'm probably going to get found out because of Wes freaking Weston. I still don't know half of what happening to me."
"Danny." Sam cut in quietly.
"I'm not even your Danny!" Fenton registered Sam paling at the statement but continued. "I'm literally half of him. I'm half a freaking person. I'm….I'm broken." His voice wavered on the word, betraying the pain just under his anger. "I'm broken and I have no idea how to put myself back together. And, and half the time, I'm scared of the other half of me. I'm still terrified at the thought of being a ghost. So no! I'm not freaking okay! But I have to be! I can't...I can't fall apart. I can't!" He yelled out the last part, chest heaving from the exertion of the outburst. With Sam and Tucker staring at him, all that he'd said finally hit him. But, with his eyes watering, hand shaking, one more dark, painful truth was whispered. "If I do, I'll never be whole again."
That last statement, the last great fear, stole the breath from Fenton's lungs. He could hardly bear to think it, let alone say it. He was terrified. Terrified that he'd be stuck like this forever. Alway broken, never whole. Physically- his very soul split in half, half a person. And almost worse, emotionally, always afraid. Of people's opinions of him; of his past- the portal and his death; Of his future- the unknown and change; Of being different, a freak; Of his own inhumanity; Of being a ghost.
His heart ached, an almost physical pain that had been there for weeks. A gaping wound the portal had cut into his very soul. He'd tried to bandage it with lies (He was just sick, he wasn't really a ghost, he hadn't really died) and heal it with the ghost catcher. But the device just ripped off the sloppily applied gaze and exposed the festering gash. The ghost catcher just showed him the truth and he thought he'd accepted that he'd died, that he was a ghost. He thought he'd accepted Phantom. He'd finally treated the wound properly, instead of ignoring it; he'd gotten the stitches and applied the antibiotic. He should be healing. He thought he was healing but why did it still hurt?!
As this flowed indistinctly through Fenton's head in a matter of seconds. His friends remained frozen, staring at him in shock while the boy looked down. Part of him was mortified that he'd actually said what he just did. But part of him was relieved to have it off his chest. The silence was making him tense. What did Sam and Tucker think about this? Do they think he's being ridiculous or needy or-
Sam stepped forward and suddenly her arms were around him, cutting off the thought. "Danny." She muttered into his shoulder. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry this is happening to you."
Tucker came from the side, wrapping one arm around both of his friends. "We've got you. We've got you, man."
"Sam. Tucker." A tear fell from Fenton's eye.
"You're going to be okay, Danny. You're going to be okay." Sam said insistently.
Still in her arms, Fenton shook his head. "No. I'm...I'm not."
"We'll figure this out Danny. We will." Tucker said. "You'll pull yourself together and put all of this behind you before you know it."
The human Danny shook his head again. "No."
This time Sam stepped back. "Yes, you will. You want to get better. You want to heal." She smiled at him. "And I know you will."
"And we'll be right here, by your side to help you, no matter how long it takes." Tucker added with determination in his voice.
Fenton looked between the two hopefully. "You promise?"
"Of course." Sam nodded. "I don't care if you're a ghost or there's two of you. No matter what, we've got your back."
Familiarity tickled his mind. "You guys keep saying that, don't you?"
"Cause we mean it. We're sticking with you no matter what." Tucker said. "You can trust us."
"And you don't have to act like you're okay for us." Sam's eyes rounded compassionately.
Fenton looked down, suddenly feeling guilty. "I know."
"I don't think that you do." The statement wasn't said unkindly but the human Danny tensed all the same. Sam's hand moved to squeeze his forearm. "Danny, look at me." At the soft plea, Fenton turned his gaze onto Sam's lavender eyes. "You don't have to act like you're okay for us. Or even for your parents."
"But-" The boy started wanting to argue.
"No." Sam held up a finger. "After all of the crap you've been through, no one in their right mind should expect you to be fine. And that's okay." Fenton's frown deepened but Sam continued. "You're allowed to struggle. You're allowed to have a hard time with this."
"But….I should be getting better." The human Danny muttered.
"You are." Sam insisted. "And even if you weren't, we'd still be here for you."
Fenton gave her a somewhat skeptical look before Tucker added. "Remember before the ghost catcher? You told us your ghost powers were a disease. You don't think that anymore, do you?"
The reminder that he'd even thought that horribly of his ghost half stung. The boy frowned, shaking his head. "No, I don't."
"See." Sam gave him a kind smile. "You've already come so far."
Her statement was so certain and sure, it gave the boy pause. He wrinkled his brow in thought, realization slowly dawning. He used to hate his ghostliness. The green eyed reflection in the mirror hadn't been him because he wasn't a monster and he feared becoming one if he gave into his ghost half. He used to think that. Used to, as in past tense. Used to, as in he didn't think that anymore. He'd seen and talked to the part of himself that was a ghost and now knew that he wasn't a monster and wouldn't turn into one because he was a ghost. He'd looked at Phantom, at those green eyes. Though they didn't feel as natural as his blue eyes, those were still HIS eyes and he didn't hate those eyes anymore. Yes, Fenton was still scared of being a ghost- because that was new and unknown. But he didn't hate Phantom. He couldn't, he wouldn't, never again.
"You're right." Fenton finally said, a slight smile gracing his face. "You're right. I've already made a lot of progress."
"Yeah, you have." Tucker grinned. "You should be proud of yourself."
"But I still have a ways to go." Fenton frowned thoughtfully, looking at his two friends. They'd asked at the beginning if everything was okay between him and Phantom. Truthfully things weren't. And they weren't going to get better on their own. The boy ran a hand through his hair. "I need to talk to Phantom."
It was ridiculous but the idea made him nervous for reasons he couldn't seem to identify. He knew Phantom wanted to talk and would listen. He was unlikely to say anything to surprise the ghost anyway, as they were the same person. But...maybe talking about their issues would make them real.
His stomach flopped with nervousness but before he could start to spiral, Sam half-smiled at him. "I think that sounds like a good idea."
"Yeah man. We...uhh…..heard some of that argument and I was gonna try and suggest you talk to him…." Tucker rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.
Fenton didn't have the heart to be embarrassed or offended that they'd heard any of the supremely personal confrontation. So he shrugged. "Well, I'm gonna talk to myself without your prompting so ha!"
At the attempted light-hearted response, Tucker relaxed. He smiled and gave a short relieved laugh."Dude, you take arguing with yourself to a whole new level."
Sam snorted. "You know how it is. Sometimes you just have to yell at yourself because you're being stubborn."
Fenton blushed, rubbing the back of his neck. "Yeah, I guess that was pretty much exactly what just happened, wasn't it?"
At the embarrassed reaction, Sam and Tucker's laughter quieted. The technogeek patted him on the back. "It's all good. We get it."
"Yeah." Sam added. Then she fixed serious eyes on him. "Speaking of being stubborn, no more pretending you're okay for us, right Danny?"
Fenton blushed. "I...Uhhh. Yeah." The human Danny sighed. "I can do that. Yeah." His voice sounded sure and confident the longer he spoke. "I can do that."
Fenton meant what he said. He would try to be honest with his friends who had time and time again shown they were willing to stand by him through anything. Through all the weirdness and drama, they didn't freak out (too much). They weren't afraid of this ghostliness but accepted and embraced it... him, Phantom. In their eyes, Phantom was as much Danny as Fenton was. And they continued showing that they weren't afraid of their (his and Phantom's) issues.
Sam accepted the statement with a nod. Then Tucker smiled, patting him on the back. "Let's head back to your house."
"Yeah. Let's go." Fenton said, a smile growing on his face as he appreciated his friends' support.
As Phantom invisibly phased through the mall's roof, he felt like pulling his hair out. He might have too, if he wasn't so focused on flying back to Fentonworks as fast as he could. He wanted to flop onto his bed and scream his frustration into his pillow right now. Not three minutes later, the ghost phased through the window and into his bedroom. He flickered back into visibility and let out a low growl.
"Why are you so...urggh!" Landing on the floor, Phantom stomped towards the bed. "Stupid-" Angrily, the boy swung his leg forward and kicked the post of his bed. He let out a yelp of pain, cutting off the rant. "Owww! Dammit!"
"Danny!?" Jazz's voice yelled through the door right as it swung open. Her eyes widened in alarmed concern. "Are you hurt?"
"No. I'm fine." The ghost boy huffed.
"Are you sure?" Jazz raised a brow.
"Yes." Phantom gritted his teeth. "My foot's fine. I was mostly just startled."
The girl looked at him worriedly. After closing the door, she stepped farther into the room and crossed her arms. "What happened?"
"I just kicked my desk. I'm fine." He answered trying to sound casual.
"Not that." Jazz looked at him critically. "Something happened. I can see it all over your face."
"Jazz. Stop-" He started.
But his sister held up her hand. "This morning I said I wasn't dropping whatever's happening between you and the other Danny. And I'm not." She pointed, narrowing her eyes. "You're home alone, without him or your friends and I can tell you're upset. What happened?"
The boy crossed his arms and glared. Part of him wanted to clam up and not talk to her. He wanted to be left to skulk in peace. But he was so angry and frustrated and Jazz was a good listener.
He started pacing. "Sam dressed me up like this" he motioned up and down his outfit. "So we could go to the mall without me getting gawked at. Except Wes Weston's now convinced I'm my own brother. So there's definitely gonna be a rumor about Danny Fenton having a secret twin." Ghost Danny ran a hand through his hair. "And then we went to Hot Topic and Tucker made a….not so smart joke. Like really bad. Like….He shouldn't have joked about that." The ghost mumbled and then shook his head, his volume increasing again. "And Fenton blew up on him! In the middle of the store! So I chewed him out and…. How is he so frustrating?!" Phantom stopped, putting his arms up.
Jazz's brow wrinkled in confusion. "Who? Tucker? Wes?"
"Fenton!" The ghost exclaimed and started pacing again. "He wouldn't even look at me today! And he won't talk to me." He gripped his hair with his hands. "I can't just….I can't figure out what's going on in his head!"
His sister blinked at him, bewilderedly. "You can't figure out what he's thinking? Fenton? The other Danny? Your literal other half? But you...you two are….?"
"I know!" Phantom's voice raised. "I know! But he's driving me nuts!" He stopped then, looking at Jazz. "I'm starting to get why you sometimes want to wring my neck."
Jazz shook her head, the visible confusion on her face mounting. "I...I'm sorry Danny but…. I don't understand what's going on like...at all."
His sister's blatant confusion was making him feel so much worse. Biting his lip, the ghost boy pulled at his hair. "I don't either. It's just…..after we told Mom and Dad, Fenton and I, we were..harmonizing. We were both worried but...we were on the same page. Same thoughts, emotions. We moved together….like we were actually two parts of a whole." He stopped pulling and moved his hands to stare at them. "But now things are awkward and he won't look at me or talk to me and….I keep getting these emotions from him and they just...don't make sense."
Jazz frowned. "What do you mean?"
The boy swallowed, snapping his mouth shut.
His sister raised a brow pushing him to talk. "Danny."
"Guilty." The ghost boy closed his eyes and bit his lip. "He….I...We feel guilty. And not just about Mom and Dad." He wrapped his arms around his middle. "It's like….we tried to fuse on Sunday night. And...and I thought it would work. Mom and Dad would see and I could go back to being just Danny. We'd be whole. But...it didn't work. And now there's this wall between us. I don't know why he's acting like this. And there's this guilt and...fear. And sometimes it's mine or it's his….or…." He stopped trailing off.
Silence fell for a long moment before Jazz walked forward. Her arms wrapped around him. "Oh, little brother."
"What…" He sniffled. When had his eyes started tearing up? "What am I supposed to do, Jazz?"
After a minute, Jazz stepped back and studied him thoughtfully. She took a deep breath and finally addressed him. "I think you know what you need to do."
Phantom frowned at her. "That's not all the helpful Jazz. I can't even figure out what Fenton is thinking."
"But you do know." She said kindly. The ghost opened his mouth to argue but his sister cut in, holding up a finger. "Let me finish." She shook her head. "Fenton is you and you're him. You're the same person." He sighed, her facial expression softening. "You know your own mind, Danny. Even if you're ignoring or suppressing it. Even if it's hard to swallow."
The ghost boy looked at her for a long moment, taking in her words. He rubbed his forehead. "But...this is so confusing. I mean, I got turned into a ghost. And split in half."
The girl stepped forward and placed a gentle hand on his arm. "I know it is. I know." She gave a gentle squeeze. "But I know you. And you can figure this out."
Ghost Danny sighed but didn't say anything. At some point, his frustration and anger at Fenton had leaked out of him. Now he was just tired. Sadness pricked his core. He knew Jazz was right. He knew what he, both of him, were feeling. Frustrated, anxious, afraid, guilty. He knew why there was this tension between him and his other self. He'd felt it in bursts since…..
"The failed merge." He finally said, eyes fixed on the floor.
He remembered the bursts of guilt from his other self. The repeated apologies as he cried about how Fenton pushed him away. Earlier…. 'Why didn't I just tell them about being half ghost before? Why did I even split us? None of this would have happened if I hadn't done that.' 'The portal and ghost catcher were my fault.'
"Fenton thinks it's his fault." Phantom whispered the words before his mouth snapped shut. His eyes widened as he looked at Jazz. He didn't know why but he suddenly felt embarrassed to say that in front of Jazz. It felt so personal, so private. He blushed. "I...we...mmmm." His mouth shut again.
Jazz's expression fell. She looked slightly disappointed. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."
The boy shook his head. "It's just...I thought….I thought we were getting past all this." He put a hand on his head. "But Fenton's been trying to hide this from me. What the heck does that say about my mental health?"
Jazz tilted her head and asked. "Are you sure he's been trying to hide it? Or have you collectively been ignoring the issue?"
The ghost boy frowned, considering the question. "Maybe….I don't know." He rubbed the back of his neck. "It's all so confusing. But maybe….maybe it's a bit of both?"
As much as he hated to admit it, it made sense. He'd felt Fenton blocking him and avoiding any opportunity to talk about what was happening. But Phantom...he hadn't reached out to talk either. He'd gotten glimpses of what Fenton was feeling but he hadn't listened when his instincts suggested what was wrong. Maybe on some level, he- both of him- didn't want to deal with what he was feeling.
A thoughtful look crossed Jazz's concerned face. The ghost boy could almost see the wheels turning in her head. After a moment, she took his arm again. Phantom allowed himself to be led to sit on the bed by his sister.
"Do you want to hear what I think?" Jazz asked kindly. The boy nodded and she continued. "I think you don't need to be afraid of dealing with what's happening to you."
"I'm not…" The boy started before trailing off. He looked down. He couldn't say that. It wouldn't be true.
His sister fixed understanding eyes on him. "You're dealing with something incredibly hard. Something that is vastly different than anything you or anyone else has faced before. And you're struggling. Of course you are. You're angry and afraid and guilty. And you're allowed to feel like that. But… you don't have to wallow in it."
At the last sentence, the ghost boy looked up. "I know. Believe me Jazz. I know. I am so tired of feeling like this." He put his hand on his head. "I just want to be happy again."
Jazz gently took his hand. "You will be. This will pass."
Phantom fixed a critical eye on her at the platitide. "Really?"
"I mean it. You'll get through this. You'll make peace with what you've been through. You'll be able to merge and put all this behind you."
The ghost boy huffed. "That doesn't really help me right now."
"I know, just…" The girl sighed. "Hang on to that hope, okay? You will get better. You'll heal but it doesn't happen overnight. It takes time and effort. So" Her tone sharpened somewhat, seriously. "You need to actually talk to Fenton. The internal conflict you're feeling won't get better if you don't acknowledge it and at least try to deal with it."
"Internal conflict?" Phantom raised a brow.
Jazz tapped her chin, her expression shifting into something slightly analytical. "You and Fenton are two parts of the same person so any conflict between you is by nature an internal one." She frowned. "You can't treat this as an argument between you and someone else. Because it's not. This is discord inside yourself that's being manifest in a different way because you're split into two different halves. But the issue is still with yourself."
"Okay?" The boy blinked, slightly startled. "Uhhh Jazz... please don't go psychologist mode on me right now."
The girl's analytical expression disappeared, shame coloring her face briefly. "Oh. I'm sorry, Danny."
The boy shook his head. "It's fine. I'm just kinda shocked at how much you read into everything. But…" He blushed. "You have a point. If I want to deal with this, I have to talk to Fenton." Phantom wrinkled his nose slightly. "But with how difficult he was being…."
Jazz put an arm around him. "I know dealing with this stuff is incredibly hard. But it's necessary. There isn't a timeline for you to get over it. It will take time, maybe a lot of time. But this isn't a sprint. It's a marathon. The goal isn't to finish the race the fastest. The goal is to get to the finish line. Just...be kind and patient with yourself."
"You know, that means something entirely different if there's two of me."
"That's why I said it like that." The girl said kindly. "All of you- both Fenton and Phantom- deserve patience and kindness to get through this."
Phantom titled his head, thoughtfully, as he considered all that his sister had said. She did have a point. Things would get better. He had to keep believing they would. That was something he could do with his friends and family's help. And it would take time for things to get better. It would take effort. Talking to Fenton and acknowledging the storm of emotions they'd been weathering was the first step. That was something they could find the strength to do. And the courage. Letting everything come to light would be painful and likely frustrating. But that's why he needed to be kind and patient, with both of him.
"Okay. Yeah." The ghost boy finally spoke. "I see what you're saying, I think. And I'll talk to Fenton tonight."
Jazz squeezed him in a side hug. "And you can talk to me as well, about anything, okay? I want to help you through this, little brother."
"I know." The boy wrapped an arm around her. "Thank you for talking some sense into me."
"No problem. It is my job as the big sister." She half-smiled.
Phantom rolled his eyes, preparing a quippy reply as the sound of the door slamming sounded below. His lighter expression darkened again.
Jazz stood up. "It sounds like your friends and the other Danny are back." She frowned, taking in his expression. "Are you alright?"
"Yeah." He nodded. "I just...need to think for a bit before I see Fenton." His stomach flopped in sudden nervousness at the thought of the impending difficult, private conversation. Then he noticed Jazz's worried expression. "I'm okay, Jazz. I just need a moment to compose by thoughts. I'll be down stairs before too long."
"Alright." She sighed. With another concerned glance, she exited the room, leaving Phantom to think alone.